1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,438 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:07,094 CALL ME CRAZY, BUT SQUARE PIZZA JUST TASTES LESS GOOD. 3 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:08,269 IT'S THE RIGHT ANGLES. 4 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,184 TRYING TO MAKE US LEARN AT LUNCH. 5 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,664 [ Singsong voice ] EDDIE! IT'S YOUR GIRL! 6 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,579 [ LAUGHTER ] 7 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,235 SHOULD I SAY HI? -I DON'T KNOW. 8 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,324 -SHOULD I?! -I DON'T KNOW! 9 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,761 WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU GUYS? -I DON'T KNOW. 10 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,328 IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE THE FALL BALL, 11 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:25,982 AND SHE HASN'T EVEN TALKED TO ME -- 12 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,116 WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE THAT MESS WAS MAD ROMANTIC. 13 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,901 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING, INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 14 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,077 SHE PUNCHED ME IN THE ARMPIT. 15 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,252 IT WAS AMAZING. 16 00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:37,211 YEAH, THAT NIGHT WAS CRAZY. 17 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,691 BECCA T. AND I SPLIT A CAPRI SUN, 18 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:43,739 AND NOW SHE JUST WALKS AROUND LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED. 19 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,306 WE SHARED A STRAW. 20 00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,785 Trent: I FEEL YOU. 21 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:49,658 SARAH S. SLAPPED A SLAP BRACELET ON ME AT THE DANCE. 22 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:50,876 WHERE IS IT NOW? 23 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,227 I LOST IT IN THE COLLECTION PLATE AT CHURCH. 24 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,316 NOW IT BELONGS TO JESUS. 25 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,099 I JUST DON'T GET IT. 26 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,928 I THOUGHT ALISON REALLY LIKED ME. 27 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,712 I GUESS I WAS WRONG. 28 00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:04,586 HMM? 29 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,461 YOUR GIRLFRIEND WANTED ME TO GIVE THAT TO YOU. 30 00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:11,201 ♪ YEAH 31 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:16,772 [ High-pitched ] WHA-A-A-A-- 32 00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:19,253 [ COUGHING ] 33 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,254 [ POUNDS FIST, GROANS ] 34 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,473 [ Strained ] RIGHT ANGLE GOT CAUGHT IN MY PIPE. 35 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,040 [ COUGHING ] 36 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,216 --Captions by VITAC-- 37 00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:27,565 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 38 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,480 ♪ I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO ♪ 39 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,395 ♪ IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW ♪ 40 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,136 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 41 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,356 ♪ HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM ♪ 42 00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,618 ♪ BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 43 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,316 ♪ I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 44 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,625 [ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ] 45 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,193 [ SIGHS ] Talk to the boss's wife. 46 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:49,152 It's okay. She doesn't hate you. It's all in your head. 47 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,546 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 48 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:52,895 HOW'S IT GOING, JESSICA? 49 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,245 ARE YOU JOKING? 50 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,248 I -- IF IT WAS FUNNY. WAS IT FUNNY? 51 00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,294 [ SIGHS ] NOTHING IS FUNNY, NANCY. 52 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,730 I BOUGHT AN INVESTMENT PROPERTY 53 00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:04,950 WHICH, IT TURNS OUT, IS RIDDLED WITH TERMITES. 54 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,344 THAT'S RIGHT -- TERMITES ARE REAL. 55 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,607 THE HOUSE HAS ALREADY BEEN TENTED, SO NOW 56 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:12,175 IT'S JUST SORT OF STANDING THERE LOSING MONEY -- 57 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,872 KIND OF LIKE YOU. 58 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,353 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 59 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,225 YOU DID IT, NANCY. YOU MADE HER SEE YOU. 60 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,227 [ Chuckling ] AND THEN SHE SAID, "SQUEEZE 'EM? 61 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:21,837 UH, I BOUGHT 'EM!" 62 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,230 [ LAUGHTER ] 63 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,362 BOSS, SOME CUSTOMERS WANT TO MEET YOU. 64 00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,451 They're celebrities -- from television. 65 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:28,583 OH. 66 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:31,107 I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU 67 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,892 TO GUS AND MEY-MEY FROM "GOOD MORNING ORLANDO." 68 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,024 [ CHUCKLES ] 69 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,592 UH... 70 00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:40,203 IT'S OKAY. WE'RE ON AT 4:00 A.M. 71 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,466 OUR CORE DEMO IS TRUCKERS CLOCKING ON 72 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,425 AND HOOKERS CLOCKING OFF. [ CHUCKLES ] 73 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,427 [ CHUCKLES ] WELL, BOTH ARE WELCOME HERE AT CATTLEMAN'S. 74 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,298 [ CHUCKLES ] 75 00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:51,475 I MEAN, AS CUSTOMERS, NOT -- WE DON'T ENCOURAGE PROSTITUTION. 76 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,476 IS THIS A STING? 77 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,478 BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME YOUR BADGE IF I ASK YOU. 78 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,001 BOSS, THEIR SHOW IS ON CHANNEL 7 -- 79 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,264 YOU KNOW, WITH THE DUCK. 80 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,830 -THAT DOES THE WEATHER. -THE WEATHER DUCK. 81 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,658 OH. I LOVE DUCKS. [ CHUCKLES ] 82 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:03,444 [ As Donald Duck ] SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU GUYS COPS? 83 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:04,358 [ LAUGHTER ] 84 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,098 WHOA! [ LAUGHS ] 85 00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,449 -DID YOU SEE THAT? -THAT WAS AMAZING! 86 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,624 [ Normal voice ] I REALLY DON'T DO IMPRE-- 87 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:10,886 [ As Rocky ] ADRIAN! 88 00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:14,933 [ LAUGHTER ] 89 00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,240 OKAY, YOU HAVE TO COME ON OUR SHOW. 90 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,242 [ Normal voice ] OH, NO, I COULDN'T.YOU GOT TO. 91 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,374 YES, THE AUDIENCE WOULD EAT THAT UP, 92 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,289 AND -- AND YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR RESTAURANT. 93 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,725 Jessica: HE'LL DO IT! 94 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,515 THE EXPOSURE WILL INCREASE BUSINESS, 95 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,865 WHICH WILL HELP COVER THE UNFORESEEN EXPENSES 96 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,476 FROM THE INVESTMENT PROPERTY. 97 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,433 WHAT EXPENSES? 98 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,261 YOU WERE SO FUNNY TODAY AT THE RESTAURANT. 99 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,132 YOUR IMPRESSIONS -- THEY'RE REALLY GETTING BETTER. 100 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:42,526 OH, THANK YOU.[ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 101 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:46,487 BOYS, YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO BE ON "GOOD MORNING ORLANDO." 102 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,923 WITH GUS AND MEY-MEY? 103 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,490 YOU JUST BLEW MY MIND! 104 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,753 YOU JUST BLEW MY -- MY FLIPPIN' MIND! 105 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,407 Emery: YOU WATCH THAT SHOW? 106 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:56,366 SO THAT'SHOW YOU STAY CURRENT. HUH. 107 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:03,417 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES♪ 108 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,551 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THAT LOVE GOES♪ 109 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,510 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES♪ 110 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:13,296 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES♪ 111 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,950 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR BODY? 112 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,560 CELEBRATING. 113 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,127 ALISON IS OFFICIALLY MY GIRLFRIEND. 114 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,303 WHAT? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? 115 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,304 [ MUSIC STOPS ] 116 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,740 APPARENTLY, TWO WEEKS AGO. 117 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,003 I HAD NO IDEA WE WERE EVEN DATING. 118 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:28,137 [ SIGHS ] I GUESS THAT'S HOW THINGS WORK IN 7th GRADE. 119 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:32,184 LOVE MOVES FAST AND QUIET, LIKE MISS JACKSON SAYS. 120 00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,316 [ SNORING ] 121 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,883 OH. 122 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:37,799 WELL, IF GRANDMA HAD BEEN AWAKE, SHE WOULD'VE PRESSED "PLAY," 123 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:41,237 AND JANET WOULD HAVE SAID, "That's the way love goes." 124 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,325 [ SNORTS, GASPS ]♪ THAT'S THE WAY LOVE GOES♪ 125 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,500 NO, GRANDMA, WAIT. IT'S TOO -- 126 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,241 AAH! HUP! 127 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,590 CAN'T FIGHT THE MUSIC. 128 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,505 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THAT LOVE GOES♪ 129 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:49,985 ♪♪ 130 00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,466 'SUP? 'SUP? 131 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,598 'SUP? 132 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,601 EDDIE. WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ALISON'S FRIENDS. 133 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,342 UGH. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING. 134 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,519 I WISH I COULD HOOK YOU GUYS UP WITH MY GIRL'S HOMEGIRLS, 135 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,391 BUT YOU KNOW WHY I CAN'T, RIGHT? 136 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,610 -WHAT? -YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT? 137 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:08,220 OKAY. 138 00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,570 BRIAN, YOU NEED TO GROW. 139 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,050 TRENT, DRY-CLEAN YOUR JACKET. 140 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,183 WALTER, RACISM. 141 00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:17,186 AND, DAVE, I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE A TEARDOWN. 142 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:18,361 WE ALREADY HAVE GIRLFRIENDS! 143 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,232 WHAT?! WHO? 144 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,365 LIKE WE SAID -- ALISON'S FRIENDS. 145 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,803 APPARENTLY, WE'VE ALLBEEN DATING SINCE THE FALL BALL. 146 00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,153 SERIOUSLY? THAT'S AWESOME! 147 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,938 GUESS YOU GUYS GOT MY OVERFLOW -- 148 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,157 TRICKLE DOWN LOVE-ONOMICS. 149 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,811 -RACISM? -WHY AM I A TEARDOWN? 150 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,510 YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ASKED ME 151 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:39,164 TO ASK YOU IF YOU GUYS WANT TO GROUP-DATE. 152 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:42,385 THE MALL, TODAY, 3:00, BY THE ESCALATORS. 153 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,561 -YEAH. -AWESOME! -YEAH. 154 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,608 WAIT. WHY ARE YOU THE MESSENGER, NED? 155 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:51,089 [ SIGHS ] JUST BE AT THE MALL, MAN. 156 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,441 ♪♪ 157 00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:55,529 NOW WHAT? 158 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,660 [ GIRLS GIGGLE ] 159 00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:57,444 LOOK! 160 00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,880 ♪ YEAH 161 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,885 I-I GUESS WE GO UP. 162 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,061 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO UP. 163 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:11,501 [ GASPS ] THEY'RE COMING DOWN! 164 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,330 BUT WE'RE GOING UP. 165 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,117 Girls: HEY! Boys: HEY! 166 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,380 Trent: HEY. 167 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,340 Eddie: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 168 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,255 SHOULD WE GO BACK DOWN? 169 00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:28,039 Brian: THEY'RE NOT TURNING AROUND. 170 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,433 THEY'RE WALKING INTO WET SEAL. 171 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,044 I...GUESS THAT WAS IT. 172 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,568 COOL! 173 00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:36,352 WE JUST WENT ON OUR FIRST DATE! 174 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,440 YEAH! 175 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,615 [ LAUGHS ] 176 00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,269 CELEBRATE WITH AN ORANGE JULIUS? 177 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,618 HELL YEAH, LET'S DO IT! 178 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,708 TRENT, YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING, MAN. 179 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,362 HELL YEAH, IT IS! 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,059 [ THEME MUSIC PLAYS ] 181 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,670 Gus: GOOD MORNING, ORLANDO. 182 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,498 WE WANT TO TAKE YOU LIVE TO MINDY TORRES 183 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,456 OUT IN THE FIELD WITH SOME BREAKING NEWS. 184 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,719 MINDY? A HULLABALOO WAS CAUSED THIS MORNING 185 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:59,070 WHEN AN EMPLOYEE DISCOVERED AN ENDANGERED GOPHER TORTOISE 186 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,638 BLOCKING A RALLY'S DRIVE-THROUGH. 187 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,555 PEOPLE HAVE PLACED THEIR ORDERS, BUT CARS ARE UNABLE 188 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,471 TO DRIVE THROUGH TO PICK UP THEIR ORDERS. 189 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,472 [ HORN BLARES ] 190 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,126 I NEED HASH BROWNS! 191 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,910 OF COURSE, EVERYONE'S FIRST CONCERN 192 00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,477 IS FOR THE SAFETY OF THE TORTOISE. 193 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,087 COFFEE! 194 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,046 WELL, THANK YOU, MINDY, AND WE WILL CHECK BACK IN 195 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,830 WITH YOU IN A FEW HOURS FOR AN UPDATE.WAIT, WHAT -- 196 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,266 I'LL TELL YOU, GUS, 197 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,704 IF A TURTLE WAS BLOCKING ME FROM MY COFFEE, 198 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,880 I'D SUPER MARIO IT. 199 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,185 [ LAUGHS ] 200 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,188 OKAY. 201 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:33,061 WELL, IT'S TIME FOR THE GUS-LIGHT, 202 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,367 WHERE WE SHINE A SPOTLIGHT ON LOCAL BUSINESSES. 203 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,501 JOINING US TODAY IS LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR... 204 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,634 LOUIS HUANG. 205 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,071 THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO JOIN US. 206 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,726 WELL, THANK YOU FOR, UH, HAVING ME. [ CHUCKLES ] 207 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:49,773 UH, AS YOU KNOW, MY RESTAURANT IS CATTLEMAN'S RANCH STEAKHOUSE, 208 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:55,605 WHICH IS EXIT 4B, UH, OFF OF I-4, UH, NORTH. 209 00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:59,000 BUT IF YOU'RE COMING SOUTH, IT'S EXIT 4A OFF OF I-4 SOUTH. 210 00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,958 GREAT DIRECTIONS. YEAH. 211 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,134 AND IN ADDITION TO BEING A CATTLEMAN, 212 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,528 LOUIS HERE IS ALSO A FUNNYMAN. 213 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:06,964 [ LAUGHTER ] 214 00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,749 HE DID SOME AMAZING RIGHT? 215 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,794 CELEBRITY IMPRESSIONS FOR US THE OTHER DAY. YES, HE DID. 216 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,100 YES, HE DID. [ LAUGHS ] 217 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:13,536 [ As Rocky ] I CAN'T SEE NOTHIN'. 218 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,320 CUT MY EYES, MICK. CUT 'EM. 219 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,626 I CAN'T SEE. 220 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,628 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 221 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,022 HEY, ROCKY BALBOA IS IN THE STUDIO ALL OF A SUDDEN. 222 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,110 [ Normal voice ] YOU GOT IT! 223 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,459 [ LAUGHTER ] 224 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,113 WHY -- WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY? 225 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,681 [ As Donald Duck ] BECAUSE STALLONE TALKS FUNNY! 226 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,379 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 227 00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,685 YOU'RE KILLING IT! 228 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,121 YOU'RE VERY GOOD! 229 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,862 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? 230 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,565 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT THERE 231 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,176 AND PROMOTE THE RESTAURANT, NOT MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF. 232 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,788 [ As Arnold Jackson ] WHATCHU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WOMAN? YOU LOVE MY IMPRESSIONS. 233 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:48,571 [ Normal voice ] THAT WAS ARNOLD. 234 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:49,572 NOT ON TELEVISION. 235 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,139 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 236 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,576 NAME ONE CHINESE PERSON ON TV. 237 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:54,838 PAT MORITA. 238 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:55,709 JAPANESE, AND YOU KNOW IT. 239 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,275 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 240 00:08:57,319 --> 00:09:00,583 WE DON'T GET OPPORTUNITIES TO BE ON TV. 241 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:04,413 THAT'S WHY WHEN WE DO, WE NEED TO PRESENT OUR BEST FACE -- 242 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,676 NOT CLOWN AROUND, LIKE YOU DID TODAY. 243 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,938 THEY LOVED ME. 244 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,853 YOU KNOW WHAT IT REMINDED ME OF? 245 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,855 YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER. 246 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:12,769 NO. 247 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,075 FROM "SIXTEEN CANDLES." 248 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:14,771 DON'T SAY IT. 249 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,644 LONG...DUK...DONG. 250 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,822 YEAH, SO, 3 BUCKS AN HOUR TO MAKE LITTLE PIZZA TABLES -- 251 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:22,866 NOT BAD, RIGHT? 252 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,476 OH, HERE COMES A CAB. 253 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,217 YOU SHOULD YELL [As Long Duk Dong] "AUTOMOBILE!" 254 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:27,871 HA HA. RIGHT. 255 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,307 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 256 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,876 LOUIS, YOU MISSED YOUR OPPORTUNITY, MAN. 257 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,443 YOU SHOULD'VE YELLED 258 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,619 [As Long Duk Dong] "OH, SEXY GIRLFRIEND!" 259 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,012 [ CHUCKLES ] RIGHT. 260 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,709 [ Laughing ] YEAH. YEAH. 261 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:40,884 [ ICE RATTLES ] 262 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,234 THE CHINESE GUY IN THAT MOVIE 263 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:46,977 BECAME WHAT EVERYBODY THOUGHT ALL CHINESE PEOPLE WERE. 264 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,763 HE MADE PEOPLE THINK THAT WAS OKAY. 265 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:52,113 THAT'S WHY WHEN WE GET OPPORTUNITIES LIKE THIS, 266 00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:53,244 IT MATTERS. 267 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,072 LOOK, I WAS JUST A PERSON 268 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,248 JOKING AROUND ON A MORNING TALK SHOW. 269 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,642 THIS IS NOT A LONG DUK DONG SITUATION. 270 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,905 HELLO, DAD. SAW THE SHOW. 271 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:02,863 VERY HURTFUL. 272 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,212 REALLY? 273 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,257 I TAUGHTYOU DONALD DUCK. 274 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,651 [ As Donald Duck ] AND YOU STOLE IT! 275 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,391 [ SIGHS ] 276 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,003 ♪♪ 277 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,876 FELLAS, WE'RE DOING IT! 278 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,486 WE LIVIN'. 279 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,575 REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT ON THE MALL DATE 280 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,750 WITH OUR GIRLFRIENDS 281 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,143 AND THEY WERE LIKE [High-pitched] "HI!" 282 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,884 AND WE WERE LIKE [Deep voice] "HI"? 283 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:24,711 [ CHUCKLES ] 284 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,321 [ CHUCKLES ] 285 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,714 DAVE. 286 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,759 BECCA G. WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. 287 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,722 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 288 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,462 I THOUGHT I WAS DATING SARAH S. 289 00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,942 WHAT? NO. 290 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:42,032 I'MDATING SARAH S. YOU'RE DATING BECCA G. 291 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,468 WELL, YOU WERE. 292 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,601 NO, I'MDATING BECCA G. 293 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,734 BUT WAIT. THEN WHY DID SHE BREAK UP WITH YOU? 294 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,693 HOLD UP. DID YOU JUST SAY "BECCA G." OR "BECCA T."? 295 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,042 'CAUSE I'MDATING BECCA T. 296 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,043 I THINK. 297 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,828 THIS IS MESSED UP. 298 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,699 YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU'RE DATING?! 299 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,744 DO YOU? 300 00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,963 YEAH, MAN. I'M DATING ALISON. 301 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,356 HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE? 302 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,837 BECAUSE WE REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER, 303 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,491 AND WE DANCED IN THE MOSH PIT AT THE FALL BALL. 304 00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,058 SHE PUSHED ME IN THE MOSH PIT, TOO. 305 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,103 ME TOO. 306 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,408 ME TOO. 307 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,149 ME TOO. 308 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,154 [ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ] 309 00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,722 HEY, WE SAW YOU ON "GOOD MORNING ORLANDO." 310 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:20,941 HILARIOUS! 311 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,159 [ As Rambo ] DON'T PUSH IT, 312 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,726 OR I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR YOU WON'T BELIEVE. 313 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,858 [ LAUGHTER ] 314 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:27,730 Man: [ As Long Duk Dong ] AUTOMOBILE! 315 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,864 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 316 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,562 I ORDERED THE VEAL. 317 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,998 HE DID. 318 00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,391 Man: [ Laughing ] THIS GUY CRACKS ME UP! 319 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,567 [ As Rambo ] I'LL GIVE YOU A WAR YOU WON'T BELIEVE! 320 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,003 [ LAUGHTER ] 321 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,657 Jessica: LONG...DUK...DONG! 322 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,747 Man: [ As Long Duk Dong ] AUTOMOBILE! 323 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,532 SEXY GIRLFRIEND! 324 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,969 [ DISTORTED LAUGHTER ] 325 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,579 AND THEN EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING, 326 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,973 BUT IN A GROSS WAY, WHICH MADE MEFEEL GROSS. 327 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,105 ARE PEOPLE LAUGHING WITHME OR ATME? 328 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:57,455 AT YOU. THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING. 329 00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,022 I NEED TO GO BACK ON THAT SHOW. 330 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:02,199 I WILL IRON YOUR TELEVISION PANTS. 331 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,375 [ BLACK SHEEP'S "THE CHOICE IS YOURS" PLAYS ] 332 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,900 ♪ THIS OR THAT? THIS OR THAT? ♪ 333 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,815 ♪ THIS OR THAT? THIS OR THAT? ♪ 334 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,947 ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪ 335 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:14,037 ♪ YOU CAN GET WITH THIS OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT ♪ 336 00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:17,258 SO, ALISON PUSHED US ALL IN THE MOSH PIT, 337 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:21,131 BUT WERE THOSE PUSHES PLATONIC OR PASSIONATE? 338 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,829 EVIDENCE IS INCONCLUSIVE. 339 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,701 WHO ARE YOU, WOMAN? 340 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,355 WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW WHO YOU'REDATING, WALTER. 341 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,443 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 342 00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:30,837 WELL, YOU KNOW... 343 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,186 I'M JUST SAYING... 344 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,406 ...I-IT'S THE SOUTH. 345 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:36,451 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 346 00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,844 THAT'S MESSED UP, MAN. 347 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:42,065 I MEAN, EDITH ISTHE ONE I LIKE, BUT IT'S UNRELATED. 348 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,286 THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO FIGURE OUT WHO OUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE. 349 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,070 WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK THEM? 350 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:49,290 YOU CRAZY, ESé? 351 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,509 YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MAD THEY'LL BE AT US? 352 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:53,598 I THINK IF YOU'RE HONEST --JUST GO AWAY, OKAY? 353 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,383 THIS IS BIG-KID BUSINESS. 354 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,428 HEY, I'M JUST HERE TO GET MY TUB OF GAK 355 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,343 YOU BORROWED WITHOUT ASKING. 356 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:04,435 OF COURSE THERE'S HAIR IN IT. 357 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:07,438 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 358 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,005 HELLO? 359 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,356 It's one of the girls. 360 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,926 [ Muffled ] IS IT BECCA G.? DID SHE GET MY LETTER? 361 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,972 I'LL FIND OUT WHO IT IS. 362 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,321 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 363 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,453 SO, YOU LIKE SODA? 364 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,411 MM-HMM. 365 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,456 UH-HUH. 366 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,981 YEAH, SURE. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 367 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,896 PEACE. 368 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:30,548 [ RECEIVER CLICKS ] 369 00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,115 I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT WAS. 370 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,987 [ ALL GROAN ] 371 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,902 BUTTHE GIRLS DO WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER GROUP DATE -- 372 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,642 AT THE ROLLER RINK TOMORROW. 373 00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:39,079 THAT'S SUICIDE! 374 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,210 THEY'LL BUST US WIDE OPEN, 375 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:42,082 AND THEN NONEOF US WILL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS. 376 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,474 I CAN'T GO BACK TO BEING SINGLE. 377 00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:47,130 AT THE RINK, ALL OF US WILL FALL DOWN AT THE SAME TIME, 378 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,785 AND THEN THE GIRL WHO'S OUR GIRLFRIEND 379 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,222 WILL COME TO HELP US BECAUSE SHE LOVES US, 380 00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:53,920 AND THEN WE'LL KNOW WHO SHE IS. 381 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,838 WHAT IF TWOGIRLS HELP US UP? DO WE GET TWO? 382 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,145 WELL, WE FINALLY HAVE AN ANSWER 383 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,147 TO THAT QUESTION EVERYONE'S BEEN ASKING -- 384 00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,932 WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY MOVE THE DAMN THING? 385 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,977 APPARENTLY, HUMAN TOUCH 386 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:11,067 WOULD RENDER THE ENDANGERED TORTOISE INFERTILE. 387 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,329 MAYBE THAT TORTOISE SHOULD TRY 388 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,505 BEING AN UNMARRIED WOMAN OVER 40. 389 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:15,550 OH! [ CHUCKLES ] 390 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,031 STAY STRONG, MIND. HE'S OUT THERE. 391 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,075 YEAH, YEAH. 392 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,816 NOTHING SADDER THAN A WOMAN OVER 27. 393 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:21,991 OH. 394 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,124 NEXT UP, WE HAVE OUR OLD FRIEND 395 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,083 WHO'S BACK IN THE STUDIO -- LOUIS HUANG. 396 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,303 LOUIS, YOU WERE CRACKING US UP THE OTHER DAY 397 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,261 WITH YOUR IMPRESSIONS. [ CHUCKLES ] 398 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,089 WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD I EXIST TO ENTERTAIN YOU. 399 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,963 SO, DO YOU DO BILL COSBY? 400 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,139 I LOVEHIM. 401 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:42,185 ME TOO. AMERICA'S MORAL COMPASS. 402 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,970 WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M ALREADY DOING AN IMPRESSION. 403 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,972 [ GASPING, LAUGHING ] 404 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,365 OF -- OF WHAT? 405 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,933 A SUCCESSFUL CHINESE-AMERICAN BUSINESS OWNER 406 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,979 WHO'S WORKED HARD FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS. 407 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,375 UH, O-OKAY. 408 00:14:58,419 --> 00:14:59,507 ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT WE, UH...[ CHUCKLES ] 409 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,161 ...HOW ABOUT WE TALK ABOUT YOUR RESTAURANT, RIGHT? 410 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,423 YEAH! THAT SEEMS TO BE WHAT YOU WANT TO... 411 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,077 OKAY. WELL, IT'S A STEAKHOUSE. 412 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,079 OH, YUM!AN AMERICAN RESTAURANT. 413 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,342 THAT'S RIGHT -- CHINESE PEOPLE CAN MAKE ALL KINDS OF FOOD. 414 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:11,780 OH! I MADE POT STICKERS ONCE -- FROM FROZEN. 415 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,522 SO, I-IS THAT ALL ASIAN CULTURE IS TO YOU -- POT STICKERS? 416 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:15,827 NO! NO! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT. 417 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,090 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S TALK ABOUT RACE. 418 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,135 NO, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO SERIOUS FOR THE GUS-LIGHT... 419 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,615 YEAH! ...AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. 420 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:23,096 OH, OKAY. SO YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE SERIOUS? 421 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,837 YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE JOKING AROUND, BE THE CLOWN. 422 00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:29,145 "THE CHINESE GUY'S ON TV! MAKE EVERYBODY LAUGH!" 423 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:29,624 Both: LET'S GO TO COMMERCIAL. 424 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,109 WHY WERE YOU SO SERIOUS?! 425 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,850 IT'S A MORNING SHOW. THEY HAVE A DUCK THAT DOES THE WEATHER. 426 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,330 YOU TOLD ME THAT -- 427 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,376 Y-YOU SAID THEY WERE LAUGHING AT -- 428 00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:43,986 I -- YOU GOT IN MY HEAD! 429 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,248 WELL, NOW EVERYBODY THINKS 430 00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:47,163 CHINESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! 431 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:48,860 WHAT? DID THEY THINK WE HAD ONE BEFORE? 432 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,124 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY DEFINITELY DON'T NOW. 433 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,169 YOU NEED TO GO BACK OUT THERE 434 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:56,129 AND SHOW PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOURSELF. 435 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,218 BUT BE SERIOUS, TOO. 436 00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:02,135 A COUPLE OF LIGHT JOKES -- NOTHING POLITICAL. 437 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,050 BUT DON'T BE BORING, EITHER. 438 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:08,271 DON'T MAKE WAVES, BUT BE INTERESTING. 439 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,186 AND PLEASANT. 440 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,015 AND ALSO SMART. YOU SHOULD BE SMART. 441 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:13,668 [ SIGHS ] 442 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,148 AND TALL. 443 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:19,152 YOU REALIZE DOING ALL THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE, RIGHT? 444 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,284 I KNOW. 445 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,591 I JUST WANT IT TO BE PERFECT. 446 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:26,594 WELL, ONE PERSON CAN'T BE EVERYTHING. 447 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,509 THAT WEATHER DUCK ISN'T GOING OUT THERE 448 00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:31,077 THINKING ABOUT REPRESENTING ALL DUCKS. 449 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,426 NO, HE'S PROBABLY THINKING 450 00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,210 [As Donald Duck] "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" 451 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,038 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 452 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,606 OH, THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 453 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,217 YES, IT IS, AND IT'S OKAY THAT IT'S FUNNY. 454 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,089 AND SOMETIMES A GUY DOING AN IMPRESSION 455 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,699 IS JUST A GUY DOING AN IMPRESSION. 456 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:45,830 [ SIGHS ] 457 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,181 OKAY. FINE. 458 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,097 THEN GO BACK ON THE SHOW AND JUST BE YOURSELF. 459 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,533 I'M BANNED FROM THE STUDIO. 460 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,928 MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK INTO THE STUDIO. 461 00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:02,238 [ DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ] 462 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:05,111 OKAY, GUYS, REMEMBER THE PLAN -- 463 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,677 SAME TIME, FALL. 464 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:09,985 WHICHEVER GIRL COMES TO EACH OF US, THAT'S OUR GIRLFRIEND. 465 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,726 GOT IT. 466 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,910 [ THUD ]DAMN IT, BRIAN! 467 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,129 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO FALL TOGETHER! 468 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,696 I HAVE WEAK ANKLES. 469 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:28,003 Man: COUPLES SKATE. GRAB YOUR PARTNER'S HAND. 470 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:30,962 COME ON. LET'S SKATE. 471 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:32,747 [ SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ] 472 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,276 LATER, NERDS. 473 00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,113 THAT'S IT. I'M GOING IN. 474 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,029 EW! 475 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,118 WHY ARE YOU GRABBING MYHAND? 476 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,598 I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY GIRLFRIEND. 477 00:17:57,641 --> 00:18:00,340 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, TRENT? I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 478 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,820 HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND IS? 479 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,474 HEY! LEAVE HIM ALONE! 480 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,172 NONE OF US KNEW WHO WE WERE DATING. 481 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,260 Eddie: WHAT?! 482 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,348 WHY YOU GONNA TELL THEM THAT? 483 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:11,177 WAIT -- YOU DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE DATING? 484 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,917 I MEAN, I DID, BUT, YOU KNOW, 485 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,919 YOU PUSHED A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE MOSH PIT, 486 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,182 SO I MADE AN EVIDENCE BOARD AND -- 487 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,966 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 488 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,188 [ Singsong voice ] COUPLE COMING THROUGH! 489 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:27,497 [ Voice breaking ] BREAKING NEWS -- 490 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,848 ANOTHER TORTOISE HAS APPEARED IN THE SHRUBBERY, 491 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,415 IN AN APPARENT EFFORT 492 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,765 TO GUIDE THE FIRST TORTOISE TO SAFETY. 493 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:35,810 [ Chuckling ] OH... 494 00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,855 UM, I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, UH, MINDY. 495 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,248 SORRY TO BARGE IN LIKE THIS, 496 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,380 BUT THEY BANNED ME FROM THE STUDIO. 497 00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,164 UH, GUS, MEY-MEY... 498 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,514 I JUST WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR YESTERDAY. 499 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:47,082 I WASN'T MYSELF, AND, UH, YOU KNOW, 500 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,606 MYSELF IS -- IS ALL I CAN BE, REALLY, 501 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,305 AND OCCASIONALLY, A SMOOTH CRIMINAL. 502 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,350 [ As Michael Jackson ] SHAMONE! EEE-HEE! 503 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,875 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 504 00:18:57,919 --> 00:19:00,008 LOOK AT THAT. HEY, FORGET ABOUT THE JACKSON 5. 505 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,314 WE GOT THE JACKSON 6 RIGHT HERE. 506 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,402 [ Laughing ] OH! 507 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,666 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GET PAID MORE THAN ME. 508 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,624 Louis: OOH! 509 00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:08,799 AH! AH! 510 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,627 MICHAEL JACKSON?! 511 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,108 I TAUGHT HIM THAT! 512 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,153 OOH! 513 00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:19,549 [ SIGHS ] 514 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:22,509 DID YOU FIGURE OUT YOUR "BIG-KIDS BUSINESS"? 515 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,383 WHAT'S WRONG? 516 00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,603 I SCREWED THINGS UP WITH ALISON. 517 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:32,171 I REALLY LIKED HER, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 518 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,478 HAVE YOU TRIED TALKING TO HER? 519 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:36,479 NO. 520 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,481 WHY NOT? 521 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,396 WELL, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK 522 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,268 THAT'S HOW THEY DO THINGS IN SEVENTH GRADE. 523 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,095 HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? 524 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,318 ALISON. 525 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,495 HEY, YOU GOT ANYTHING TO SAY TO HER, 526 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:53,714 YOU CAN PASS A NOTE THROUGH ME. 527 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:54,932 IT'S OKAY, NED. 528 00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:59,198 I'M LISTENING. 529 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,418 TO BE HONEST, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE WERE DATING, 530 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:04,246 AND WHEN I FOUND OUT WE WERE, 531 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,509 I DIDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO MESS IT UP, 532 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,337 BECAUSE I LIKE YOU A LOT. 533 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,513 AND I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING THAT 534 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,602 IN SEVENTH GRADE OR IF WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE 535 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,822 HAVING THIS CONVERSATION ON AN ESCALATOR. 536 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,954 I DON'T KNOW HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS. 537 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,261 YEAH. IT'S WEIRD. 538 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,263 I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH YOU AT THE FALL BALL, 539 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,483 BUT THEN MY FRIENDS WERE LIKE, "YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM. 540 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:24,484 YOU'RE DATING HIM." 541 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,964 WELL, I'M SORRY WE BROKE UP. 542 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,315 BROKE UP? WE DIDN'T BREAK UP.WE DIDN'T? 543 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,752 NO. THAT WAS OUR FIRST FIGHT, AND WE GOT THROUGH IT. 544 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,188 WE DID? 545 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,277 YES. AND NOW WE'RE STRONGER THAN EVER. 546 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,713 A'IGHT. A'IGHT. 547 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:39,542 SO, ARE ALL MY FRIENDS STILL DATING YOUR FRIENDS? 548 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:40,500 OH, HELL NO. 549 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:43,198 IN FACT, THEY SHOULDN'T COME AROUND FOR A WHILE -- 550 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,504 ESPECIALLY DAVE. 551 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,157 A'IGHT. A'IGHT. 552 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,202 THAT MAKES SENSE. 553 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,508 WALK ME TO CLASS? 554 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,075 OKAY, BUT JUST SO I'M CLEAR -- 555 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,163 YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND? 556 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,556 YES. 557 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,254 I'LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY. COME ON. 558 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:06,439 SO, THE NUMBER-ONE DATING RULE IS TO LISTEN TO A WOMAN. 559 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:10,312 "LISTEN...TO...HER." 560 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:14,229 WHAT IF WHAT SHE'S SAYING IS, UH...BORING? 561 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,231 YOU SHOULD STILL BE LISTENING TO HER. 562 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,364 EVEN IF SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HORSES? 563 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,453 ESPECIALLYWHEN SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HORSES. 564 00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,324 WHAT IF YOU'RE SCARED OF HORSES? 565 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:24,631 DON'T BE SCARED OF HORSES! 566 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:30,376 Trent: "DON'T...BE...SCARED... OF HORSES."