1 00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:05,179 [ METAL SCREECHING ] 2 00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,180 UGH! 3 00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,398 [ SIGHS ] 4 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,792 KICK. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,449 OKAY, SO, I'LL DROP YOU OFF AT WORK, 6 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,928 GO TO THE DRY-CLEANERS, 7 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,887 AND THEN TAKE THE ROBERTSONS TO GO SEE SOME CONDOS. 8 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,629 SORRY. WHAT'S THEPLAN? OH, DON'T FORGET -- 9 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:23,327 WE HAVE TO TAKE THE FRYER GREASE TO THE DUMP. 10 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,112 Eddie: UM, HELLO? 11 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,070 BASKETBALL GAME? 12 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,115 RIGHT. 13 00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:29,333 SO, DUMP, RESTAURANT, 14 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:31,205 CLEANERS, BASKETBALL GAME, CONDOS. 15 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,599 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 16 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,343 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 17 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,476 ♪ I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO ♪ 18 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,347 ♪ IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW ♪ 19 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,783 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 20 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:47,177 ♪ HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM ♪ 21 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:48,309 ♪ BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 22 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,137 ♪ I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 23 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,140 --Captions by VITAC-- 24 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,446 HURRY UP AND EAT BREAKFAST WHILE I SHOWER. 25 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,796 I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR WORK. 26 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,583 MAKE SURE THEY DON'T TURN THEIR BREAKFAST INTO CURSE WORDS. 27 00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:04,325 Eddie: THAT JUST FLOATED ONTO MY SPOON -- I SWEAR. 28 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,109 RELAX. I'M A COOL DAD. 29 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,458 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 30 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,678 BOYS, YOU KNOW HOW OUR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP? 31 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,245 NO. OF COURSE. 32 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,595 12 YEARS -- THE SILK AND LINEN ANNIVERSARY. 33 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:16,206 I FINALLY FIGURED OUT THE PERFECT PRESENT FOR MOM. 34 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,468 YOU SAY THAT EVERY YEAR. 35 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,775 WHY DO I WANT TO WATCH MONEY WILT? 36 00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:22,212 INTERESTING HOW YOU'LL PAY A STRANGER TO COOK FOR US, 37 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,171 BUT YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IT FOR FREE. 38 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:25,389 BEAUTIFUL. 39 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,347 DOES IT ALSO COME WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS, 40 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,175 "CUT MY THROAT AND TAKE THIS"? 41 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,177 I ADMIT, YOUR MOTHER'S DIFFICULT TO SHOP FOR. 42 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,353 BUT I REALIZED MY MISTAKE. 43 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,399 I NEED TO GIVE HER A HOT, ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE 44 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:36,661 LIKE I DID ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT. 45 00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,621 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. 46 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:43,407 DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS. 47 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:46,193 ♪♪ 48 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,375 WE NEED SOMETHING TO TIE THESE TO! 49 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,638 [ CHUCKLES ] 50 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,727 BUYING THE VAN -- 51 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,163 THAT'S HOW YOU SPENT YOUR WEDDING NIGHT? 52 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,512 YEP. 53 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,427 AND THIS YEAR, I'M GONNA RE-CREATE THE MAGIC 54 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,821 BY TAKING HER SHOPPING FOR A SECOND CAR. 55 00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:06,822 MOM'S NEVER GONNA GO FOR THAT. 56 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,258 SHE HATES SPENDING MONEY. 57 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,825 BUT SHE KNOWS WE NEED ANOTHER CAR, 58 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,435 AND SHE LOVES NEGOTIATING. 59 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,437 JUST TO THROW OUT ANOTHER OPTION -- 60 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:16,440 WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A MODE OF TRANSPORTATION 61 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,226 THAT IS CHEAPER AND WAY MORE FUN? 62 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,402 [ BELL DINGING] 63 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,579 YOU KIDS WANT A SUMMERTIME TREAT? 64 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,624 IT'S TOO HOT FOR HOT DOGS. 65 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:29,323 IS IT? 66 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,064 [ TWINKLE! ] 67 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,675 WHOA! IT'S THE HOT DOGGER! 68 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:36,112 NOW YOUR FAVORITE FOOD IS YOUR FAVORITE TOY! 69 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,376 YOU SUPPLY THE BUNS! 70 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,422 WE'RE NOT GETTING THAT. 71 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:44,468 DON'T WORRY. YOU GUYS WILL BE NICE AND COOL 72 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,906 IN THE AIR-CONDITIONED LUXURY OF THIS GLAMOROUS BABY -- 73 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:52,607 A BRAND-NEW 1995 HONDA ACCORD IN CHAMPAGNE PEARL, 74 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,696 THE MOST ELEGANT COLOR IN THE NEUTRAL RAINBOW. 75 00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:57,002 SO YOU'D RATHER GET A BORING CAR? 76 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,309 YOU KNOW WHO DOESN'T THINK ACCORDS ARE BORING? 77 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,658 YOUR HERO -- SHAQ. 78 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,312 THAT'S RIGHT. 79 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:05,272 I'M TAKING YOUR MOM DOWN TO SHAQUILLE O'NEAL MOTORS. 80 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:08,057 WHY IS SHAQ SELLING A CAR HE CAN'T EVEN FIT INTO? 81 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,319 COME ALONG AND ASK HIM. 82 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,712 DAD, HE'S NOT GONNA BE THERE. 83 00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,366 IT'S A LICENSING DEAL. 84 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,106 THEY PAID THE DIESEL A BUNCH OF MONEY 85 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,847 TO SLAP HIS NAME ON SOMETHING. 86 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:19,111 "SHAQ FU." 87 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:20,417 Jessica: LOUIS, PLEASE. 88 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:22,637 NO ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS THIS YEAR. 89 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,248 LET'S JUST GO BACK INSIDE AND WATER THE PLANTS. 90 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,250 NO, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. TRUST ME. 91 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,209 BYE, BOYS. LISTEN TO GRANDMA. 92 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,951 M'LADY. 93 00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,126 [ METAL SCREECHING ] 94 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,130 UGH! 95 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:39,306 SOME OLD FUNYUNS. 96 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,746 THE ROMANCE IS JUST BEGINNING. 97 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,492 [ METAL SCREECHES ] 98 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:54,451 DON'T WAIT UP, BOYS. WE'LL BE GONE FOR HOURS. 99 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,151 SOUNDS LIKE IT'S TIME TO PARTY. 100 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:02,372 ♪♪ 101 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,204 YOU GOT ONE, TOO? MM-HMM. 102 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,467 SHAMPOO? 103 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,382 I DON'T WANT TO SHOW UP EMPTY-HANDED. 104 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,905 OKAY. 105 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:16,995 UH-OH. HERE COMES TROUBLE. 106 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,389 OOH-LA-LA. PERT PLUS! 107 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,390 THANK YOU! 108 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,478 IT'S FROM BOTH OF US. 109 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:22,566 WHAT'S THIS NOISE? 110 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,002 EDDIE, EMERY, 111 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:27,092 I WANT YOU TO MEET OINKER, FRISKY, CAN-DO, 112 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,443 TINA PHAM, PEANUT, SHAMUS, PI, AND WALLY-WALLY. 113 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,793 HELLO! EVAN, I -- 114 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,012 STOP. ARE THOSE BEANIE BABIES? 115 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,536 YES. 116 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,364 MEET OINKER, FRISKY, CAN-DO, TINA PHAM, 117 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,453 PEANUT, SHAMUS, PI, AND WALLY-WALLY. 118 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:42,238 YOU KNOW THESE THINGS?I COLLECT THEM. 119 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,935 I HAVE ALL OF THESE, 120 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:47,156 EXCEPT THAT BORING-LOOKING UNICORN WITH THE TATTERED LABEL. 121 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,549 BUT SINCE WE'RE FRIENDS, 122 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,159 I COULD TAKE HIM OFF YOUR HANDS FOR YOU. 123 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,943 FOR, WHAT, LIKE $10? 124 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,598 $10? THOSE ARE LIMITED EDITIONS. 125 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,383 POLLY COLLECTIBLES AT THE MALL 126 00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,559 WOULD PAY A FORTUNE FOR THESE. 127 00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,604 WELL, IT'S 10:00 A.M. AND WE ALREADY GOT BEEF. 128 00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:01,518 HMM! EXCUSE US. 129 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,569 LOUIS, WHERE ARE WE GOING? 130 00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,788 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES. 131 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:14,575 SORRY! I JUST FORGOT MY KEYS! 132 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,141 All: SURPRISE! 133 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,447 [ GRUNTS ] 134 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,448 [ BODY THUDS ] 135 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,623 POOR MITCH. 136 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,539 THAT WAS THE DAY OF HIS JUNIOR-COLLEGE GRADUATION. 137 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,585 AH, HERE WE ARE. 138 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:27,414 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL MOTORS. 139 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,416 SURPRISE! 140 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,331 ♪♪ 141 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:35,639 [ METAL SCREECHES ] 142 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,554 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, BUT DON'T WORRY. 143 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,077 WE CAN AFFORD IT. 144 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:42,167 [ SCREECHES ]PLUS, YOU GET TO NEGOTIATE -- 145 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:43,430 JUST LIKE ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT. 146 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,953 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. 147 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:46,607 HEY! 148 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,956 HI. MY NAME'S CLARK. 149 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,175 WELCOME TO SHAQ MOTORS. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 150 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,438 HELLO. I'M LOUIS. 151 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,178 MY WIFE AND I ARE IN THE MARKET FOR A NEW CAR. 152 00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:54,615 THAT'S WONDERFUL, LOUIS. 153 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:55,659 NOW, WHERE IS YOUR LOVELY WIFE TODAY? 154 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,573 [ CHUCKLES ] I KNOW, I KNOW. 155 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,794 SHE LOOKS LIKE MY DAUGHTER.UH, OKAY. 156 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,448 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS I DON'T SEE ANYONE WITH YOU. 157 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,972 WHAT? 158 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,452 JESSICA? 159 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,104 WHERE'D SHE GO? 160 00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:07,671 WIVES, HUH? 161 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:08,846 TOO BAD THEY DON'T COME WITH SIX MONTHS OF FREE LoJack, 162 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:12,110 LIKE ALL THE CARS DO HERE AT SHAQ MOTORS. 163 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:12,633 YEAH. 164 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:18,334 ♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT ME SO WRONG ♪ 165 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:22,251 ♪ TATTERED SHOES, ANYWAY, I GO ON ♪ 166 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:28,344 ♪ I JUST KNOW YOU FORGOT ME, THAT'S ALL ♪ 167 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,868 I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. 168 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,696 I TURNED AWAY FOR ONE SECOND AND YOU WERE GONE. 169 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,698 WHAT HAPPENED? I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE. 170 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,005 I JUST NEEDED TO GET A DRINK SOMEPLACE QUIET 171 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,441 WHERE I WOULDN'T BE BOTHERED. 172 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:39,616 USUALLY WHEN I'M AT A BAR, 173 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,489 JEWISH GUYS ARE ALL OVER ME, BUT NOT HERE FOR SOME REASON. 174 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,491 THIS SET OF TESTICLES BOTHERING YOU? 175 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,884 NO, DEB. HE'S JUST MY HUSBAND. 176 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,538 LOUIS, SIT DOWN. 177 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,845 THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU. 178 00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:53,369 OOH, THAT CONVERSATION. 179 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,545 YOU'RE GONNA NEED MORE CHEX MIX. 180 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,602 [ SIGHS ] 181 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,604 I HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU 182 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:11,561 ABOUT OUR WEDDING NIGHT. 183 00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:14,521 MR. AND MRS. HUANG, 184 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,305 WE'VE BEEN NEGOTIATING FOR HOURS. 185 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:18,263 I'LL KNOCK OFF ANOTHER $200, 186 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,265 BUT THAT'S THE BEST I CAN DO. 187 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:21,745 I ACCEPT YOUR DEFEAT. 188 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:22,877 [ LOUIS LAUGHS ] 189 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,270 HOW GOOD DOES THAT LOOK? 190 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,534 JESSICA HUANG. THAT'S MY WIFE. 191 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:28,752 [ LAUGHS ] 192 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:29,536 I'M GONNA GO WARM UP OUR NEW VAN. 193 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:32,756 WHAT A NIGHT! 194 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,845 DON'T FEEL BAD. 195 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,107 YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR FIRSTBORN 196 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,718 THAT YOU TANGLED WITH THE BEST. 197 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,633 MY FIRSTBORN IS ABOUT ALL YOU LEFT ME WITH. 198 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,636 THAT AND THE FLOOR MATS. 199 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,115 REPEAT THAT NOW, WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 200 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,944 OH, RIGHT HERE. SEE? 201 00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,990 YOU OPTED OUT OF THE OPTIONAL FLOOR-MAT OPTION. 202 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,559 NO. 203 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,691 THAT'S IT? 204 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,563 LOUIS, I BLEW IT! 205 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,347 FREE FLOOR MATS! 206 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,654 THAT'S THE ONE THING DEALERS ALWAYS THROW IN, 207 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,569 AND I MISSED IT! 208 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,745 I OVERLOOKED THE MOST BASIC DETAIL! 209 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,661 YOU'RE OVERREACTING. IT WAS JUST FLOOR MATS. 210 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,794 NO, IT WASN'T JUST FLOOR MATS. IT WAS OUR WEDDING NIGHT. 211 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,883 IT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT WE DID AS A MARRIED COUPLE, 212 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,972 AND I MESSED IT UP. 213 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:17,322 AND EVERY YEAR, I'M FORCED TO THINK ABOUT IT. 214 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,759 SO, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 215 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,412 JUST NEVER GET A NEW CAR EVER AGAIN? 216 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,676 IF YOU WANT A CAR, GET A CAR. 217 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:26,244 BUT I CAN'T WALK THROUGH THOSE AUTOMATIC GLASS DOORS AGAIN 218 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:29,509 AND BE REMINDED OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. 219 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,818 WELL... 220 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,255 YOU REMEMBER FLOOR MATS, 221 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,736 I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE SIGNED OUR NAMES TOGETHER. 222 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,439 BAND-AID'S OFF, HONEY. YOU DID IT. 223 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,659 WIENER-FREE SINCE '83. 224 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,576 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 225 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,057 I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO GET US THE HOT DOGGER. 226 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,450 WE TAKE THESE DOWN TO THE MALL AND WE SELL THEM. 227 00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,669 I DON'T KNOW. 228 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:00,975 DO YOU THINK EVAN'S GONNA BE OKAY WITH THIS? 229 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,759 HE'S FINE WITH IT. I ALREADY ASKED HIM. 230 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,283 HEY, EVAN, CAN I SELL YOUR BEANIE BABIES 231 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,372 AND USE THE MONEY TO BUY A HOT DOGGER? 232 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:09,026 YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, EDDIE. 233 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,332 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 234 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,642 AWESOME. LET'S DO IT. 235 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,644 OKAY, COME ON. 236 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,645 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 237 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,734 WELL, IT WASN'T HOW I PLANNED IT, 238 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:25,303 BUT I WENT AND GOT THE CAR BY MYSELF LIKE YOU WANTED ME TO. 239 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:28,611 THESE ARE REAL. 240 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,613 WHAT'S GOING ON? 241 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,876 I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE. 242 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,531 YOU HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING HOW I FELT, 243 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,273 AND YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE. 244 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,405 WELL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE WALKED OUT. 245 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,234 NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. DEB HAD TO DRIVE ME HOME. 246 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:45,628 I SAT IN THE BACK WITH HER WELDING EQUIPMENT. 247 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,675 SHE'S VERY HANDY. HER HUSBAND IS LUCKY. 248 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,677 COME ON. LET ME SHOW YOU THE NEW CAR. 249 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,548 ♪ YEAH 250 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,813 I HAVE TO SAY, LOUIS, THIS IS A FINE MACHINE. 251 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,815 THE NEUTRAL LUSTER IS SO ELEGANT. 252 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,512 CHAMPAGNE PEARL? 253 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:01,731 GOOD EYE. 254 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,777 AND CHECK THIS OUT -- THE DOOR... 255 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,909 [ GASPS ] 256 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:06,910 ...IT WORKS. 257 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,912 CONVENIENT! 258 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,480 A SECOND CAR IS GOING TO MAKE OUR LIVES SO MUCH EASIER. 259 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,656 TELL ME... DID YOU GET A GOOD DEAL? 260 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,528 I GOT A GREAT DEAL. I GOT THAT DEAL. 261 00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:19,662 PAID STICKER PRICE AND NOT A PENNY MORE. 262 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,577 ♪♪ 263 00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:25,712 I'M SORRY TO HEAR YOU'RE UNHAPPY WITH THE CAR. 264 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,104 BUT, YOU KNOW, WE STAND BY 265 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,932 THAT 24-HOUR SHAQ-ISFACTION GUARANTEE. 266 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,368 AND WE ARE SORRY 267 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,067 THAT WE DON'T FEEL LIKE LIGHTING MONEY ON FIRE. 268 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,373 STICKER PRICE? SHAME, CLARK. 269 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,158 SHAME. 270 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,465 CONGRATULATIONS. YOU DID IT. 271 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,510 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 272 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:43,686 THEY HAVE TO HONOR THEIR RETURN POLICY. 273 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,733 NO, YOU SAID YOU COULD NEVER GO IN ANOTHER DEALERSHIP AGAIN. 274 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:49,387 BUT YOU JUST WALKED THROUGH THOSE AUTOMATIC GLASS DOORS. 275 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,737 ONLY BECAUSE I HAD TO RETURN A CAR 276 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:54,958 THAT YOU PAID WAY TOO MUCH MONEY FOR, WHICH... 277 00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,831 YOU DID ON PURPOSE TO GET ME DOWN HERE. 278 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,746 LET'S DO THIS AGAIN. 279 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,922 AND THIS TIME, WE WON'T MISS A DETAIL. 280 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,358 ♪♪ 281 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,929 OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 282 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:09,930 DID YOU SLIP IN SOME SAVINGS? 283 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:10,974 NO. 284 00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:14,064 WE'D LIKE TO BUY THAT CAR... 285 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,326 AGAIN. 286 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,854 SO, YOU WANT TO BUY BACK THE CAR YOU JUST RETURNED? 287 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,725 THAT'S RIGHT.RETURNER'S REMORSE. 288 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,161 WE GET THAT ALL THE TIME AT SHAQUILLE O'NEAL MOTORS. 289 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,511 ONCE YOU GO SHAQ, YOU DON'T GO BACK. 290 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,991 SO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 291 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,732 I WON'T SHRED THIS CHECK YOU GAVE ME, AND WE'LL JUST -- 292 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,735 THIS CHECK WAS FOR A NEW CAR. 293 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,607 THAT CAR IS USED.YEAH, BY YOU. 294 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,392 WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED TO IT IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES. 295 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,872 MM-HMM. 296 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,351 WE WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. 297 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,963 THE TOP GUY'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN AUTHORIZE A BETTER DEAL. 298 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,356 WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK BECAUSE I'M THE TOP GUY HERE. 299 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,749 YOU'RE THE TOP MANAGER? 300 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,882 WORKING THE FLOOR? WITH THOSE TEETH? 301 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,622 THAT'S ME. 302 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:53,625 OKAY, LOOKS LIKE CLARK WANTS TO DANCE. 303 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,018 WE WANT TO TAKE YOUR CAR FOR A TEST-DRIVE. 304 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,846 BUT YOU JUST DROVE IT HERE. 305 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,369 WELL, THAT WAS WHEN IT WAS A NEW CAR. 306 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:01,024 WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED TO IT IN THE LAST... 307 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,809 SIXMINUTES. 308 00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:05,028 ♪♪ 309 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,856 TIME TO KNOCK BACK THE ROSES. 310 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,684 Eddie: WHOO-HOO! 311 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,860 [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ] 312 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,821 HOT DOGGER! 313 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:15,996 WHOO! 314 00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,388 THE HELL?! 315 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,477 GET IN HERE! OKAY! 316 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,915 I CAN'T BELIEVE DAD FINALLY GOT US THE HOT DOGGER! 317 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,351 DAD DIDN'T BUY IT. WE DID. 318 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,440 WITH THE MONEY WE GOT SELLING YOUR BEANIE BABIES. 319 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:27,703 REPEAT THAT NOW, WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 320 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,400 YOU SAID YOU WERE COOL WITH IT. REMEMBER? 321 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,924 IT WAS WHEN YOU WERE PAINTING GRANDMA. 322 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,448 HEY, EVAN, CAN I SELL YOUR BEANIE BABIES 323 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,363 AND USE THE MONEY TO BUY A HOT DOGGER? 324 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,234 YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, EDDIE. 325 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,453 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 326 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,977 HEAR THAT, MOON MAN? HE'S COOL WITH IT! 327 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:44,938 IT'S PRONOUNCED "MOONMAN" -- LES MOONMAN. 328 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,293 OHH. IT MUST HAVE BEEN A DREAM. 329 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,077 A DREAM?! 330 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:56,079 I HAVEN'T PAINTED GRANDMA IN MONTHS! 331 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,603 BUT NOW WE HAVE THE HOT DOGGER! 332 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,301 THAT'S WHAT WE ALL WANTED! 333 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,086 SO MUCH BETTER THAN DUMB STUFFED ANIMALS. 334 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,175 THEY WEREN'T DUMB STUFFED ANIMALS. 335 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,481 THEY WERE MY FRIENDS. 336 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:10,093 I DID IT FOR US! 337 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,052 I'M SO MAD AT YOU, EDDIE. 338 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,314 I HAVE TO GO MEDITATE. 339 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,101 [ SHIP HORN BLOWS ] 340 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,668 [ GRUNTS ] 341 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,061 GOOD MORNING, SLEEPY HEAD. 342 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,453 YOU WERE SNORING. 343 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,108 UH, SORRY. I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP ON A TEST-DRIVE BEFORE. 344 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:26,414 [ CLEARS THROAT ] WHERE ARE WE? 345 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,589 SEE FOR YOURSELF. 346 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:34,683 THOSE CONTAINERS ARE FULL OF 1996 HONDA ACCORDS. 347 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,206 WE'RE AT THE DOCKS IN TAMPA? 348 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,555 THAT'S AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY! 349 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,906 IT IS BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR. 350 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,908 THE END OF THE MODEL YEAR, 351 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,910 WHEN YOU NEED TO CLEAR OUT THE '95s 352 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,694 TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE '96s. 353 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,435 WORK PAGED ME 13 TIMES! 354 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:48,697 MY BOSS IS GONNA KILL ME. 355 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,004 OH, YOUR BOSS? I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE MANAGER. 356 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,136 OKAY, FINE, YEAH. I HAVE A MANAGER. 357 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,051 YOU CAN BET HE'S GONNA WANT TO TALK TO YOU TWO. 358 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,053 PERFECT, BECAUSE WE WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. 359 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:04,017 WELL, I HEARD YOU TWO HAD QUITE THE TEST DRIVE WITH CLARK. 360 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,499 I-I'VE REVIEWED EVERYTHING, 361 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,937 AND THE LOWEST I CAN GO IS $21,000. 362 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,156 THE LOWEST YOUCAN GO, MAYBE. 363 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,028 WE WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. 364 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,290 I AM THE MANAGER. 365 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,901 THAT'S WHAT CLARK SAID.WELL, I ASSURE YOU I AM. 366 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,860 AND THIS IS THE BEST PRICE YOU'RE GONNA GET. 367 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,037 VERY SHINY NAMEPLATE. 368 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,952 SO EITHER YOU'RE A NEAT FREAK, 369 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,954 WHICH I KNOW YOU'RE NOT BY THE SALSA STAINS ON YOUR SHIRT, 370 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,130 OR IT HASN'T HAD TIME TO COLLECT DUST 371 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:33,176 BECAUSE YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A FEW MONTHS, 372 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,613 MAKING IT UNLIKELY YOU'RE THE HIGHEST MANAGER. 373 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:38,834 WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M A WUNDERKIND WHO LIKES WET BURRITOS. 374 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,096 AND WHO STILL NEEDS A REMINDER 375 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,577 TO DIAL 9 TO GET AN OUTSIDE LINE? 376 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,842 WELL, WILLIAM GOT ME UP TO SPEED. 377 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,278 NOW, I'VE REVIEWED EVERYTHING, 378 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,585 AND THE LOWEST I CAN GO IS $25,000. 379 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,421 [ Laughing ] OH. 380 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,336 THE SILENT TREATMENT, HUH? 381 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,599 WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK ON ME. 382 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,079 I THRIVE ON SILENCE. 383 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,739 [ BOTH SHOUTING IN CHINESE ] 384 00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:15,958 PLEASE STOP FIGHTING. 385 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,091 YOU'RE SCARING THE OTHER CUSTOMERS. 386 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,615 $20,000 IS THE LOWEST I CAN GO. 387 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,704 [ SHOUTING RESUMES ] 388 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:29,406 [ Deep voice ] WELL, RANDY FILLED ME IN HERE, AND TOLD ME -- 389 00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,539 YOU'RE THE BOY WE TOOK TO TAMPA. 390 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,541 BUT WITH A MUSTACHE. 391 00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:36,631 [ SIGHS ] I TOLD THEM IT WOULDN'T WORK, YOU KNOW? 392 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:37,980 IT DIDN'T WORK, GUYS! 393 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,200 [ SIGHS ] LET'S JUST END THIS. 394 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,811 IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY. I'M TIRED. YOU'RE TIRED. 395 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,378 I'M NOT TIRED. 396 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,554 I JUST TOOK A NAP RIGHT NOW WHILE YOU WERE TALKING. 397 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,209 WITH MY EYES OPEN. 398 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:52,125 LOOK, I -- $19,000 IS THE BEST I CAN DO. 399 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,475 I'VE THROWN IN EVERYTHING THAT I CAN. 400 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,998 INCLUDING FLOOR MATS? 401 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:59,001 YES, FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, INCLUDING FLOOR MATS. 402 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,874 [ SIGHS ] DO WE HAVE A DEAL? 403 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,270 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, HONEY. YOU DID IT. 404 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,099 [ CHUCKLES ] LOUIS, THANK YOU. 405 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,362 THIS WAS THE BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVER. 406 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,190 [ CHUCKLES ] 407 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,409 [ SIGHS ] 408 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,063 [ CHUCKLES ] 409 00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:24,200 IS SOMETHING WRONG?WHY ARE YOU SWEATING? 410 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,202 UH, THE AIR-CONDITIONER'S BROKEN. 411 00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,470 WHERE DOES THAT DOOR GO TO -- 412 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:34,906 THE ONE WITH THE PEELING PAINT? 413 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,170 WHAT? IT'S A SUP-- SUPPLY CLOSET. 414 00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,476 A SUPPLY CLOSET IN A TOP MANAGER'S OFFICE?! 415 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,695 OPEN IT. 416 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,871 WHY?! IT -- IT'S BORING IN THERE! 417 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,701 Both: WE WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER! 418 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,224 I AM THE MANAGER! 419 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,183 FORGET IT! 420 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,706 THE OFFER IS OFF THE TABLE. 421 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:54,709 YOU JUST BLEW THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME 422 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,016 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T GET --[ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 423 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:11,552 UH, MM-HMM. 424 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,684 Y-YES. 425 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:16,296 YES. 426 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,428 Y-YES. 427 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:19,560 UH... 428 00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:26,175 MY MANAGER WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU. 429 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,397 [ SIGHS ] 430 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:36,446 ♪ YEAH 431 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,753 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. 432 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:39,884 CONGRATULATIONS. 433 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,799 NO ONE HAS EVER MADE IT THIS FAR. 434 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,588 YOUARE THE FINAL MANAGER. 435 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,198 YES, I AM. 436 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,331 I SIGN OFF ON EVERY CAR THAT COMES THROUGH THIS PLACE. 437 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,203 I REALIZED THAT IF I PUT MY NAME ON A PRODUCT, 438 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,379 I GOT TO STAND BY IT. 439 00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,252 WE DON'T WANT ANOTHER... "SHAQ FU." 440 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:05,780 CHECK OUT THE LATEST ENDORSEMENT I JUST HAD TO REJECT -- 441 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,130 SHAQ-UILA. 442 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:09,740 NICE. BASKETBALL-SHAPED TEQUILA. 443 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,962 [ GLASS SHATTERS ] 444 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,051 IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME. 445 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,749 UH, SPEAKING OF BASKETBALL, 446 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,403 DOESN'T THE SEASON START IN A COUPLE WEEKS? 447 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,362 OH, YEAH.I MEAN... 448 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,538 YOU LOOK A LOT BIGGER IN PERSON. 449 00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,714 WELL, WAIT TILL YOU SEE CHARLES BARKLEY'S FAT ASS. 450 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,498 I JUST HAVE TO SKIP THIRD LUNCH. 451 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,196 I'LL SNAP RIGHT BACK INTO SHAPE. 452 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:34,069 OKAY, ENOUGH BASKETBALL SPORTS. LET'S TALK BUSINESS. 453 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,506 YES, I HEARD YOU AND FREDDIE TALKING BEHIND THE WALL. 454 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,421 I'M VERY IMPRESSED, AND FOR THAT, 455 00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,859 I'LL GIVE YOU $500 OFF -- $18,500. 456 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:42,773 $18,100. 457 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,253 $18,400. 458 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,560 $18,200 AND FREE CAR WASHES FOR A YEAR. 459 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:51,434 [ KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING ] 460 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,349 $18,250... 461 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,134 AND A PAIR OF FUZZY DICE FOR THE REARVIEW MIRROR. 462 00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:57,310 DEAL. 463 00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,181 [ CHUCKLES ] 464 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,229 [ GASPS ] 465 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,795 Let go of my hand, lady. 466 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,189 JUST ONE MORE THING. 467 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,757 YOU GOT SHAQ'S AUTOGRAPH?! 468 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,846 ON HIS BIG SHOE. 469 00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:13,804 BUT I -- I CAN'T -- NO, WAIT. I -- YEAH. 470 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:16,416 I GOT TO CALM THIS DOWN. I GOT TO CALM THIS MESS DOWN. 471 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,243 OH, WE'D TAKE YOU TO MEET HIM, 472 00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,374 BUT HE JUST LEFT TO CLEAN UP 473 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,246 A BIG MESS AT SHAQ MOTORS NASHVILLE. 474 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,073 SOME RACCOONS GOT INTO THE COROLLAS. 475 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,337 THAT MAKES SENSE. SHAQ IS GREAT WITH ANIMALS. 476 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,382 AT LEAST I STILL GOT THIS TANK! 477 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:28,210 I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW EMERY AND EVAN! 478 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,559 YOU KNOW, A FEW YEARS FROM NOW, 479 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,431 YOU CAN SELL THAT THING FOR A LOT OF MONEY. 480 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,084 IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. 481 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:34,434 I'D NEVER SELL THIS SHOE. 482 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:38,307 IT MEANS WAY TOO MUCH... 483 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,569 TO ME. 484 00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,310 [ SIGHS ] 485 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,230 [ GASPS ] MY BEANIE BUDDIES! 486 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,364 OINKER! TINA! 487 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,931 I KNOW IT WAS HARD SELLING THAT SHOE, 488 00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,846 BUT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. 489 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,500 YOU'RE A GOOD BROTHER. 490 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,894 I HAD IT IN MY HAND. 491 00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,723 I FIT MY ENTIRE FACE INSIDE OF IT. 492 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:05,160 IT SMELLED LIKE PIZZA. 493 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,076 I LOVE THIS CAR. 494 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:09,817 AND NO ONE MADE ANY MONEY OFF OF IT. 495 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:12,950 [ CHUCKLES ] SO, I'LL TAKE THE GREASE TO THE DUMP 496 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,517 AND THEN DROP EDDIE OFF AT PRACTICE. 497 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,171 AND I'LL TAKE EVAN AND EMERY TO THE STORE, 498 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,261 THEN WE'LL PICK UP GRANDMA FROM THE HAND SURGEON. 499 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,481 [ SIGHS ] THIS CAR IS TOO NICE TO DRIVE. 500 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,569 LET'S JUST ALL JUST JAM IN THE VAN. 501 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:28,488 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. TAKE A KNEE. 502 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:31,969 WE TOOK A LOSS TODAY, AND THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT. 503 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,495 TODAY, THEY WERE BETTER THAN US. 504 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,105 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 505 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,759 THAT'S ONLY ONE CAR. 506 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:42,632 OUT THERE, THERE ARE 387 MORE NEW AND PRE-OWNED CARS, 507 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:45,983 EACH ONE OF THEM LOOKING FOR A WARM GARAGE TO CALL HOME. 508 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,942 WHO'S GONNA GET THEM HOME? 509 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,509 IS IT YOU, BARBARA? 510 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,554 RANDY? WILLIAM? FREDDIE? 511 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,904 AS A MATTER OF FACT, FREDDIE, YOU'RE FIRED. GET OUT. 512 00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:55,297 GET OUT, FREDDIE! 513 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,342 OKAY. 514 00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:57,952 I'M JUST PLAYING, FREDDIE. SIT DOWN. 515 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,347 SIT DOWN. I'M JUST PLAYING. OKAY. 516 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,045 BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOUR ASS TOGETHER. 517 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:09,137 LISTEN -- I BELIEVE IN WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE, 518 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,573 AND I KNOW YOU DO, TOO. 519 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,793 REMEMBER WHO YOU SELL FOR. 520 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,534 REMEMBER THE NAME THAT'S EMBROIDERED 521 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:18,407 ON THE FRONT OF YOUR SHIRTS -- SHAQUILLE... 522 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,669 All: SHAQUILLE. 523 00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:21,323 ...O'NEAL......O'NEAL... 524 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,543 ...MOTOR CARS....MOTOR CARS. 525 00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:24,674 NOW SAY IT TOGETHER. 526 00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:27,024 SHAQUILLE O'NEAL MOTOR CARS. 527 00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,243 THANK YOU. 528 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,549 [ HEAD THUDS ] 529 00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:31,202 RAISE THIS DAMN DOOR!