1 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:05,373 Evan: "1995 HAS BEEN A BIG YEAR FOR THE HUANG FAMILY. 2 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,141 WE MOVED FROM D.C. TO ORLANDO 3 00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:09,743 BECAUSE MY DAD WANTED TO OPEN HIS OWN RESTAURANT... 4 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,512 'EAT UP, MY BABIES!' 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,713 [ CHEERING ] 6 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,815 ...BUT MY BROTHER EDDIE WASN'T HAPPY. 7 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,384 [ High-pitched voice ] 'LOT OF WHITE FOLKS HERE.' 8 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,685 [ Normal voice ] MY BROTHER EMERY 9 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:18,819 MADE FRIENDS EASILY, THOUGH. 10 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,188 [ As Emery ] 'I LOVE LOVE.' 11 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,723 AND GUESS WHO BECAME A REAL-ESTATE AGENT. 12 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,558 'YOUR MOMMY, THAT'S WHO. 13 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,659 BOOM!' 14 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,597 ANYWAY, HAVE A GOOD SUMMER, CURTIS. 15 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:33,701 YOUR FRIEND, EVAN HUANG." 16 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,147 AND WHO DO I MAKE THIS OUT TO? 17 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,850 [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GRADUATING. 18 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,085 SO STOKED -- 19 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,020 FOR HIGH SCHOOL, TO SPEND THE SUMMER WITH MY MOM. 20 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,055 SHE DEEJAYS AT THE RADISSON. 21 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,857 OH. GOOD FOR HER. 22 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,959 GOOD LUCK SURVIVING THE 7th GRADE NEXT YEAR. 23 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,730 SEE YOU AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 24 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:03,964 [ SIGHS ] 25 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,233 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 26 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,535 OH! WHAT IF YOU GOT A TATTOO? 27 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,536 NO GOOD -- 28 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,304 I MIGHT WANT TO BE JEWISH SOMEDAY. 29 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:11,739 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 30 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:12,906 Barefoot Dave: SUMMER VACATION. 31 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,975 WE HAVE TO COME BACK NEXT YEAR WEARING FRESH GEAR 32 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,244 OR WITH AN AWESOME STORY. 33 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,046 OR WE'LL BE STUCK EATING LUNCH WITH THE JANITOR ALL YEAR. 34 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,115 DID YOU KNOW HE'S WRITING A MUSICAL ABOUT NEW JERSEY? 35 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,450 'CAUSE YOU WILL. 36 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,485 BETTER HAVE PROOF TO BACK UP YOUR STORY, 37 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,320 OR YOU'LL WIND UP LIKE "FAKE" KATE ANDERSON. 38 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:30,057 AND WE WALKED INTO DOLLYWOOD, AND I SAW DOLLY'S HOUSE. 39 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,226 Boy: LIAR! WHERE ARE YOUR SOUVENIRS? [ GASPS ] 40 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,728 SHE EVENTUALLY WENT TO DOLLYWOOD OVER CHRISTMAS BREAK, 41 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,164 BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. 42 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,232 YO, I KNOW THIS ALREADY. I'M SET. 43 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,567 IS YOUR FAMILY GOING ON VACATION? 44 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,671 [ SNICKERS, LAUGHING ] 45 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,941 [ SIGHS ] OHH, THAT'S FUNNY. 46 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,743 I USED THE MONEY I MADE WORKING WEEKENDS 47 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,112 AT MY DAD'S RESTAURANT TO BUY SOMETHING AWESOME. 48 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,816 LET'S JUST SAY I'M PUMPED FOR THE FALL. 49 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,985 * YEAH NEW '95 REEBOK PUMPS. 50 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,119 CHECK IT. 51 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,121 [ AIR PUMPING ] 52 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,923 [ AIR HISSES ] 53 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,425 MAGIC. SCIENCE. 54 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,294 I'MMA SHOW UP ON THE FIRST DAY OF 7th GRADE 55 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,129 FRESH AS HELL. 56 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,165 SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ALL SUMMER? 57 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,167 YOU ARE LOOKING AT IT. 58 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:17,805 * THIS IS HOW WE DO IT 59 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,540 * THIS IS HOW WE DO IT 60 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:24,044 * SHA-LA-LA, LA, LA, LA 61 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,047 * SHA-LA-LA, LA, LA, OHH 62 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,882 * THIS IS HOW WE DO IT 63 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,884 * SHA-LA, LA-LA, LA, LA 64 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,354 WE INTERRUPT THIS MUSIC VIDEO WITH BREAKING NEWS. 65 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,889 JOHN STOCKTON HAS BEEN SEEN WEARING REEBOK PUMPS. 66 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:41,729 I REPEAT, JOHN STOCKTON HAS BEEN SEEN WEARING REEBOK PUMPS. 67 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,331 COME ON, SON! 68 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,666 BETTER GIVE THOSE TO YOUR DAD OR YOUR WHITE NEIGHBOR, 69 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,368 'CAUSE THEY OVER. 70 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,238 HAPPY LABOR DAY, HUNTER. 71 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,008 -- Captions by VITAC -- 72 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,210 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 73 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,045 * I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO * 74 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,214 * IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW * 75 00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,382 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 76 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:04,218 * HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM * 77 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,219 * BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 78 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,922 * I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 79 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,359 ** 80 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,360 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 81 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,727 YOU DON'T NEED SO MANY SUITS. 82 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,263 THE CONVENTION IS ONLY TWO DAYS. 83 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,265 ALL THE FRANCHISE POWER PLAYERS ARE GONNA BE THERE. 84 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,532 I NEED TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION. 85 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,067 "WHICH ONE'S LOUIS HUANG? 86 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,237 OH, HE'S THE STEAKHOUSE OWNER IN THE SHARKSKIN SUIT." 87 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:26,073 OR "HE'S THE CHINESE GUY." 88 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,242 "IN THE SHARKSKIN SUIT." 89 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,446 MOMMY, GUESS WHAT. 90 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,882 MY LAST BABY TOOTH IS LOOSE. 91 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,183 OH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER VISIT 92 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,485 FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY. 93 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:44,425 "EVAN, CLEAN YOUR ROOM. THE TOOTH FAIRY." 94 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,461 I LOOK FORWARD TO THE FAIRY'S CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. 95 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:50,298 MOM, WHEN CAN WE GO BACK-TO-SCHOOL SHOPPING? 96 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,399 RIGHT NOW! 97 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,201 EMERY, HERE'S EDDIE'S OLD CLOTHES. 98 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,370 EVAN, HERE'S EMERY'S. 99 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,071 I'VE GOT SOME GOOD STUFF IN THERE. 100 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,139 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 101 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,076 WHAT ARE THESE? 102 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,414 NO MORE VELCRO. YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH FOR LACES NOW. 103 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:11,118 NO MORE VELCRO, YOUR LAST BABY TOOTH -- 104 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,287 CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE IN THE BIG-KID CLUB. 105 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,823 BUT I'M THE BABY. "BABY EVAN"? 106 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,359 IT'S MY BRAND. 107 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,462 MOM, I'M BEGGING YOU -- I NEED NEW SCHOOL GEAR. 108 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,464 IT STARTS IN A WEEK, AND I HAVE NOTHING! 109 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,999 I ALREADY BOUGHT YOU NEW T-SHIRTS FOR SCHOOL, 110 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,369 THE KIND YOU LIKE -- WITH BLACK MEN ON THEM. 111 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,678 THESE GUYS AREN'T RAPPERS! 112 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,080 THEY WERE THE GANGSTERS OF THE SALES BIN. 113 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,315 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 114 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:44,318 [ SIGHS ] Louis: JESSICA, I CAN'T FIND MY SUSPENDERS. 115 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:45,686 IN THE CLOSET! 116 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,322 READY FOR BOOK CLUB? 117 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,858 WHITE WINE AND "MISERY"! [ CHUCKLES ] 118 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,993 IT'S CHABLIS. DON'T BE PISSED. 119 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,963 THANK YOU. OKAY. 120 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,632 I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED IT. [ DOOR CLOSES ] 121 00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,933 WITH WORK AND THE HOUSE 122 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,135 AND THEN THE KIDS BEING HOME ALL SUMMER, I JUST -- 123 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,438 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD REALLY THINK ABOUT GETTING AWAY. 124 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,306 I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM, HONEY. 125 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,442 ALTHOUGH, I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT -- 126 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:11,278 JUST PACKING A BAG AND JUST GETTING OUT OF HERE. 127 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,514 THERE'S THIS TOWN IN SOUTH TEXAS. 128 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,183 I WOULD PAINT PORTRAITS, GET A ST. BERNARD, 129 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,317 REBUILD A MUSCLE CAR. 130 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:20,388 N-NO. I DIDN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD ABANDON YOUR FAMILY. 131 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,690 I MEANT YOU SHOULD JUST CONSIDER TAKING THEM 132 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:23,891 ON A LITTLE VACATION. 133 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,327 [ LAUGHING ] 134 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,334 [ Laughing ] "VACATION." 135 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,869 [ LAUGHING ] 136 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,771 YOU'RE FUNNY. 137 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:41,174 LOUIS AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN VACATIONS. 138 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,043 HEY, BOSS, DO WE GET VACATION DAYS? 139 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,413 YOUR JOB IS A VACATION -- FROM POVERTY. 140 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,349 Louis: I STILL CAN'T FIND MY SUSPENDERS! 141 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,684 [ SIGHS ] SUSPENDER -- 142 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,420 WORKING-MAN ACCESSORY. 143 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,922 HOLDS UP THE BUSINESS. 144 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,525 LOUIS, YOUR SUSPENDERS ARE RIGHT HERE, 145 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,560 NEXT TO YOUR -- 146 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:10,270 SO, BIG BUSINESS TRIP, HUH? 147 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,039 NATIONAL FRANCHISE CONVENTION -- 148 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,340 BIGGEST IN CENTRAL FLORIDA. 149 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,875 THEY SAY THAT'S WHERE THE BURGER MAN 150 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,109 BECAME THE BURGER KING. 151 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,446 OKAY, SO, IF THIS IS A BUSINESS TRIP, 152 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,347 WHY DID YOU PACK YOUR SWIMSUIT? 153 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,382 THERE'S A POOL AT THE HOTEL, 154 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,918 AND A LOT OF MEETINGS HAPPEN THERE. 155 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,220 TO PUT UNDER MY BACK. 156 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,423 I'LL BE ON MY FEET ALL DAY LONG AT SEMINARS. 157 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,393 AND IT'S BEING HELD AT GATOR WORLD? 158 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,295 GATOR WORLD, THE HOME OF THE SCARIEST RIDE 159 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,597 IN FLORIDA, "THE DEATH ROLL"?! 160 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,700 * JUMPIN', BUMPIN', THRIVIN' GATORS * 161 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,602 * RIDES AND SHOWS AND ALLIGATORS * 162 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,471 * GRAB THE FAMILY, COME ON DOWN * 163 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,473 * YOU BETTER SWIM, OR YOU MIGHT DROWN * 164 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:48,442 THIS IS GONNA SAVE MY ENTIRE 7th GRADE YEAR! 165 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,445 CAN WE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO ON VACATION TO GATOR WORLD? 166 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:54,081 I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN VACATIONS, LOUIS? 167 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,250 THIS ISN'T A VACATION. IT'S A BUSINESS TRIP. 168 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,820 THE CONFERENCE IS AT THE HOTEL NEXT TO GATOR WORLD. 169 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,489 IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PARK ITSELF. 170 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,557 OKAY, FINE. 171 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,392 IF THIS IS A BUSINESS TRIP, 172 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,161 THEN YOU WON'T MIND IF WE COME WITH YOU. 173 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,597 YEAH, IF YOU WANT. 174 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,999 BUT I'LL BE IN BACK-TO-BACK SEMINARS ALL DAY. 175 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,568 OH, WE CAN ENTERTAIN OURSELVES. 176 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,404 EVERYBODY, PACK YOUR BAGS. 177 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,774 WE'RE GOING ON A FAMILY BUSINESS TRIP. 178 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,309 YEAH! 179 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,844 YEAH. 180 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,116 ** 181 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,519 "THE DEATH ROLL"? SOUNDS LIKE A VIOLENT RIDE. 182 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,820 THAT'S THE POINT, SON. 183 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,154 IF YOU LIVE, 184 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,623 YOU GET AN "I SURVIVED 'THE DEATH ROLL'" T-SHIRT. 185 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,325 THAT'S MY KEY TO FLOSSIN' THROUGH 7th GRADE. 186 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:40,393 OH, HOW SWEET. SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE COME TO SAY BYE TO ME. 187 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,665 I'LL WRITE YOU EVERY DAY. 188 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:50,270 Eddie and Grandma: * OFF I-4, GATOR WORLD, COME AND SOAR * 189 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,440 * CHOMP, CHOMP, GATOR WORLD 190 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:57,845 ** 191 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,513 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 192 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,385 THESE GUYS AREN'T WITH THE CONVENTION. 193 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,820 MUST BE COLLEGE KIDS. [ CHUCKLES ] 194 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:10,323 Man: FRANCHISEES IN THE HOUSE! 195 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,460 [ KEYBOARD CLACKS ] 196 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,362 WELCOME TO GATOR WORLD HOTEL AND RESORT. 197 00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,397 I'M GATOR CAROL. HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY? 198 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,467 HI. RESERVATION FOR LOUIS HUANG. 199 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,302 AND HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL BE STAYING IN THE ROOM? 200 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,837 [ GRUNTS ] HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO STAY IN THE ROOM 201 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:24,872 BEFORE WE INCUR AN ADDITIONAL CHARGE? 202 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,406 TWO ADULTS AND TWO CHILDREN. 203 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,576 THAT'S HOW MANY WILL BE STAYING IN THE ROOM. 204 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:34,347 THESE TWO ARE JUST VISITORS -- FAMILY IN THE AREA. 205 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,216 WE'RE JUST CATCHING UP. [ CHUCKLES ] 206 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,685 MM. 207 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,519 WELL, IF YOU'RE STAYING WITH THE CONFERENCE, 208 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,589 THEN YOU CAN UPGRADE TO THE EXECUTIVE SUITE 209 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,656 FOR JUST $20 MORE. 210 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,558 [ CHUCKLES ] I BET WE CAN. NO, THANK YOU. 211 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:49,597 SEE, THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU -- ALL THESE ADDITIONAL FEES. 212 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,664 [ SIGHS ] OKAY, MR. HUANG. 213 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,866 I SEE YOU'VE BOOKED A SPA MASSAGE 214 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,268 AND A DINNER RESERVATION AT CSONKA'S STEAKHOUSE? 215 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,106 N-NO, THAT'S A MISTAKE. 216 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,107 [ KEYBOARD CLACKS ] OKAY. 217 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,508 IT SHOWS HERE THAT YOU CALLED AHEAD 218 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,177 TO REQUEST THE END CUT OF THE PRIME RIB? 219 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,047 MM...NOPE, MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE. [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 220 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,549 YOU FAXED OVER A COPY OF YOUR CREDIT CARD 221 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,920 AND YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TO HOLD THE RESERVATION. 222 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,622 [ GASPS ] DATA BREACH. 223 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,557 CLEAR IDENTITY THEFT. [ CHUCKLES ] 224 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,426 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 225 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,294 GATOR RAMONE CAN TAKE YOUR BAGS. OKAY. 226 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,763 OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. 227 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,699 DOLLAR-DOLLAR BAG, RIGHT? NO, THANK YOU. 228 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:26,600 WE ARE FINE. 229 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,702 MOMMY, BAO-BAO. 230 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,303 PICK YOU UP? YOU CAN WALK. 231 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,308 [ Sadly ] BAO-BAO. 232 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,915 WE ARE GONNA GET OUR MONEY'S WORTH. 233 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,718 * HEY, LITTLE SUCKERS, I KNOW YOU HEAR ME CALLIN' * 234 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,721 * ON THE HOOD OF YOUR WICK-WACK LOW-RIDIN' CADILLAC * 235 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,657 * ACT LIKE, YOU KNOW AND WE ARE NOT GONNA BE SUCKERS. 236 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,992 * THE MASTA ACE DON'T PLAY WHEN IT COMES TO MY BASS * 237 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,062 * AAHHHH, CHECK IT OUT, BABY, CHECK IT OUT, Y'ALL * 238 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,597 * CHECK IT OUT, BABY, CHECK IT OUT, Y'ALL * 239 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:58,598 * CHECK IT OUT, BABY 240 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,801 * I WAS BORN TO ROLL 241 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,970 MOM, CAN WE GO TO GATOR WORLD NOW? 242 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,838 LATER. WE HAVE TO GO TO THE POOL FIRST. 243 00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,073 [ SIGHS ] 244 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,941 OH, I GUESS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO COME, LOUIS, 245 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,978 BECAUSE YOU'LL BE TOO BUSY WITH BUSINESS. 246 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:13,947 THAT'S RIGHT. LOTS OF BUSINESS. 247 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,116 DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE DMV FOR YOU, 248 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,317 THE CREDIT-CARD COMPANY -- 249 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,487 YOU KNOW, ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY THEFT? 250 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,489 UM, YEAH. THAT'LL BE GREAT. 251 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,726 AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MIND PAYING FOR LOCAL CALLS. 252 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,631 WHEN WE GET HOME, THEN. 253 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,667 HM, OKAY. 254 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,272 HI. I'M GATOR OCTAVIO. TOWEL? 255 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,809 OH, SO YOU CAN CHARGE US A TOWEL-RENTAL FEE? 256 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,110 NO, THANK YOU. 257 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,913 WE WILL BE USING GOD'S TOWEL -- THE SUN. 258 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,516 GO. 259 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:54,121 Jessica: THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD BLACK EGG WITH TOFU 260 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:58,325 AND GRASS JELLY DRINK. 261 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:01,361 WAIT 20 MINUTES TO GO IN THE POOL. 262 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:06,366 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 263 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,500 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 264 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,970 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 265 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,840 [ ALL CHEERING ] 266 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,445 [ SHIVERING ] 267 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,582 MOM, WHEN CAN WE GO TO GATOR WORLD? 268 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,818 I SAID, "LATER." 269 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,854 UM, IF YOU'RE GONNA BRING OUTSIDE FOOD HERE, 270 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:27,855 I HAVE TO CHARGE YOU. 271 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,522 NOW -- WE CAN GO NOW. 272 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,690 CHOMP, CHOMP, GATOR WORLD. 273 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:35,695 HEY, HELP HERE, PLEASE. 274 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,265 [ SCREAMING IN DISTANCE, ALLIGATOR GROWLS ] 275 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,199 TICKETS. 276 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,567 WE'RE STAYING IN THE HOTEL. 277 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,668 HOTEL IS SEPARATE. 278 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,003 YOU GOT TO BUY TICKETS TO GET INTO THE PARK. 279 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,872 EXCEPT FOR OUR HANDI-CAPABLE FRIENDS -- 280 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,106 YOU CAN COME ON IN FOR FREE. 281 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,211 FINE. HOW MUCH ARE TICKETS? 282 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:54,247 $55 FOR ADULTS. $45 FOR KIDS. 283 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,884 $2 OFF IF YOU BRING YOUR OWN CAT TO FEED TO THE GATORS. 284 00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,053 [ CAT MEOWS ] THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 285 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,456 WHAT KIND OF SUCKER WOULD PAY THOSE INFLATED PRICES? 286 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,793 I'LL HAVE AN ORDER OF THE $20 HOT WINGS 287 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,761 AND ANOTHER ROUND OF BUD LIGHTS. 288 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:08,896 FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, 289 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,730 YOU CAN UPGRADE TO THE COLLECTOR CUPS. 290 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,631 MM... 291 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,632 [ Deep voice ] DO IT. 292 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,768 [ ALL CHEERING ] 293 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,038 KIDS 5 AND UNDER GET IN FREE. 294 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,672 THEY'RE ALL 5 AND UNDER. 295 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,976 THESE TWO ARE 5 AND UNDER. 296 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,446 THIS ONE IS 5 AND UNDER. 297 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,747 NICE TRY, KID. 298 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,316 BUT YOU'RE WEARING SNEAKERS WITH LACES. 299 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,583 GOOD EYE, GATOR DAN. 300 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,652 CAN'T GET ANYTHING PAST THIS GUY. 301 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,956 BUT, MOM, I NEED TO GO ON THAT RIDE! 302 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,159 OKAY, CALM DOWN. WE'LL GO ON A RIDE. 303 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,128 Man: PARKING LOT "C." 304 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,230 PARKING LOT "CROCODILE." 305 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,731 PARKING LOT "C." 306 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,468 THIS IS JUST AS FUN AS ANY RIDE IN THERE. 307 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,469 AAH! 308 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:50,904 [ PEOPLE SCREAMING ] 309 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,973 WHOO! 310 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,445 AND THEN I SAID, "HEY, I DON'T NEED 311 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,180 YOUR TAX ADVICE, SCOTTIE PIPPEN." 312 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,181 [ LAUGHTER ] 313 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,315 Jessica: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! 314 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,250 MELANIE! JESSICA! LOUISE?! 315 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,184 REBECCA! JANICE! GLORIA! 316 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,255 [ ALL SIGH ] 317 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,323 I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CONVENTION CENTER. 318 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:15,328 OH, HEH, WELL, UH, SOME OF THE GUYS HERE, THEY -- 319 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,729 [ SIGHS ] 320 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,366 YOU ARE RUINING MY VACATION! 321 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,035 I KNEW THIS WAS A VACATION! I KNEW IT! 322 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,137 WELL, YOU GOT ME, JESSICA. YOU WIN. 323 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,173 FOR TWO DAYS A YEAR, I DRINK BUD LIGHTS, 324 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,774 PLAY TENNIS, AND EAT HOT WINGS. 325 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,776 MOVING TO THE WHITE SUBURBS HAS MADE YOU SOFT. 326 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,945 WOMAN, I'VE BEEN SOFT! 327 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,347 I'VE BEEN TAKING BUSINESS TRIPS FOR YEARS, 328 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,517 EVER SINCE I WORKED AT STEVE'S FURNITURE STORE IN D.C. -- 329 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,521 THE MATTRESS EXPO IN PHILLY, THE CREDENZA-CON IN DELAWARE. 330 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,623 THE UPHOLSTERY SEMINARS IN MONTREAL? 331 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,192 OUI. 332 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,961 [ SIGHS ] 333 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,263 BOYS, YOUR MOTHER AND I NEED TO TALK. GO TO YOUR ROOMS. 334 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,837 [ SLEEPING BAGS ZIPPERING ] 335 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,407 I DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE I KNOW... [ SIGHS ] 336 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,909 ...YOU THINK VACATIONS ARE A WASTE OF TIME. 337 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,843 WELL, I THOUGHT YOU THOUGHT THAT, TOO! 338 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,312 WELL, I NEED THIS. 339 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,980 A COUPLE DAYS AWAY RECHARGES ME. 340 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,215 IT'S HOW I STAY SO POSITIVE. 341 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,850 OH, SO, YOU THINK I DON'T NEED A BREAK, TOO? 342 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:14,421 THE DIFFERENCE IS I CAN'T JUST CHECK OUT FOR A FEW DAYS 343 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,223 OR OUR WHOLE FAMILY WOULD FALL APART! 344 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,224 THAT'S NOT TRUE. 345 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,825 YOU CAN LOOSEN THE REINS A LITTLE. 346 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,994 WE'LL BE FINE. NO, THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. 347 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,229 BUT IF I DO -- OH. WHAT? 348 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,497 WE SPLURGE A BIT? SPEND A LITTLE MONEY? 349 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,732 WE CAN AFFORD TO. 350 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,534 IT'S A PART OF BEING ON VACATION. 351 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,369 EDDIE: Preach it, big man. 352 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,703 [ SIGHS ] 353 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,374 LOOK, WE WORK HARD ALL YEAR, 354 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,909 NO ONE HARDER THAN YOU. 355 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,912 JUST LET GO FOR A DAY AND RELAX. 356 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,848 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX. 357 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,716 IT SEEMS LIKE A WASTE OF TIME. 358 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,053 I COULD BE MARINATING MEAT OR DRIVING. 359 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,355 IT'S EASY. I'LL SHOW YOU. 360 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,090 FIRST... 361 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,792 OH, AAH -- Louis: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 362 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,961 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 363 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,895 I KNOW IT'S FREE, BUT IT'S FREEZING IN HERE. 364 00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:01,601 YOU SEE, A PART OF BEING ON VACATION IS ENJOYING YOURSELF. 365 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,803 I'M GONNA BOOK YOU A MASSAGE AT THE SPA. 366 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:04,938 NO, DON'T! UHP-BUP! 367 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,874 LOOSEN THE REINS, REMEMBER? 368 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,609 LET ME HANDLE THIS. 369 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,245 NOW, YOU PUT ON THE HOTEL ROBE AND SLIPPERS. 370 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,026 [ DOOR OPENS ] 371 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,029 GO ON. 372 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,165 BOYS. 373 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,334 REMEMBER THAT PIECE OF PAPER YOUR MOTHER BURNED? 374 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,236 THAT'S SOMETHING CALLED ROOM SERVICE. 375 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,471 I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS. 376 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,240 DAD, CAN I GO TO GATOR WORLD? 377 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,474 OF COURSE YOU CAN. 378 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:42,976 I'M IN CHARGE OF THE VACATION NOW. 379 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,244 WHOO! [ CHUCKLES ] 380 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,979 I WANT TO STAY HERE AND LEARN ROOM SERVICE. 381 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,147 [ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S FINE. 382 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,648 I CAN GO BY MYSELF. 383 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,916 THE PARK'S JUST ACROSS THE STREET. 384 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,851 WELL, I DROVE A BUS WHEN I WAS 11, 385 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,020 SO I'M FINE WITH THAT. 386 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,021 WHAT ABOUT YOU, EVAN? 387 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,255 WHAT DOES IT MATTER? 388 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,025 EVERY STEP WE TAKE IN OUR NON-VELCRO SHOES 389 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,260 IS ANOTHER STEP TOWARDS THE GRAVE. 390 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,062 GREAT, SO EVAN WILL STAY HERE, TOO. 391 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,467 [ PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYS ] 392 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,968 WELCOME, JESSICA. 393 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,838 NOW, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, 394 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:16,009 DO YOU HAVE ANY INJURIES THAT -- 395 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:16,976 OH. 396 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,013 UM, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF 397 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,381 BEFORE YOU GET UNDER THE SHEET. 398 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,816 WHY? SO YOU CAN GO THROUGH MY POCKETS? 399 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,520 ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR PURSE? 400 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,655 YES. 401 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,490 I'M JUST GONNA TAKE YOUR PURSE, OKAY? 402 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,459 [ Whines ] NO. AND I'M GONNA PUT IT RIGHT HERE ON THE FLOOR 403 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,161 SO YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH YOUR FACE HOLE. 404 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,029 JUST LET GO, JESSICA. 405 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,964 I CAN'T. I CAN'T LET GO! JUST LET GO. 406 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,332 I CA-- [ GASPS ] 407 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,335 [ SIGHS ] THANK YOU. [ CHUCKLES ] 408 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,870 [ SIGHS ] 409 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,372 AND PRESS. 410 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,807 [ WHALES SINGING ] 411 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,042 IS THAT JOHN TESH? 412 00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:52,412 NO, IT'S AN UNDERWATER RECORDING OF HUMPBACK WHALES SINGING. 413 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,981 WHY WOULD WHALES BE SINGING? 414 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,417 TO COMMUNICATE THEIR JOY. 415 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,352 WHAT DO YOU DO FOR JOY, JESSICA? 416 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,221 I MICROMANAGE MY FAMILY. 417 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,822 [ CHUCKLES ] 418 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,892 WELL, I THINK THE WHALES ARE HAPPY BECAUSE THEY'RE FREE. 419 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,062 BUT THEY'RE SO FAT. 420 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,363 NOT IN THE SEA. 421 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,999 UNDERWATER, THEY'RE WEIGHTLESS -- 422 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,334 WEIGHTLESS AND FREE. 423 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,036 [ SINGING CONTINUES ] 424 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:20,039 [ Voice breaking ] THEY ARE FREE. 425 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,442 [ SIGHS ] THERE WE GO. 426 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,677 THEY SING... 427 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,714 BECAUSE THEY ARE HAPPY AND FREE. 428 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,015 [ SOBS ] 429 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,284 I WANT TO -- YOU'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF MY PURSE A LITTLE. 430 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:32,285 I CAN'T SEE IT. 431 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,354 OH. SORRY. 432 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,588 THAT'S BETTER. THANK YOU. 433 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,957 ** 434 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:42,028 [ PEOPLE SCREAMING IN DISTANCE ] 435 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,432 JUST NEED THAT T-SHIRT. 436 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:50,203 [ SLURPS ] [ WHALES SINGING ] 437 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,438 [ SIGHS ] 438 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,407 JOHN TESH. NICE. [ CHUCKLES ] 439 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,409 I TAKE IT YOU ENJOYED YOUR MASSAGE. 440 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,878 I LOVE BEING ON VACATION. 441 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,980 I JUST WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE TO GO HOME. 442 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,383 WELL, THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF. 443 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,918 NOW, YOU HEAD UP TO THE ROOM AND TAKE A LONG BATH. 444 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,187 I'LL CHECK OUT FOR US. 445 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,756 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 446 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,058 YOU LEARNED HOW TO RELAX. 447 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,493 [ High-pitched voice ] WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! 448 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,128 IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR BILL? 449 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,829 OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY BILL! 450 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:17,830 WHY IS IT SO HIGH?! 451 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,799 WELL, IT IS FOR SIX PEOPLE, SIR. 452 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:23,503 "A-A ADDITIONAL OCCUPANCY FEE, RESORT FEE, SHARE FEE"? 453 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,505 OH, THOSE ARE OUR HIDDEN FEES. 454 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,773 THAT'S HOW WE GET YA! 455 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,243 WELL, WHAT'S A -- $60 FOR A POOLSIDE HAIRDO? 456 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,344 HM. 457 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:35,182 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 458 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,118 [ WHALES SINGING ] 459 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,521 HIDDEN FEES. THAT'S HOW THEY GET YOU. 460 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,856 I DIDN'T DO THE MATH! I'M ON VACATION! 461 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,859 SO AM I, SO I COULDN'T PROTECT YOU FROM THIS. 462 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,328 [ SIGHS ] 463 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,665 YOU'RE WATCHING OUT FOR US SO I DON'T HAVE TO. 464 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,937 I CAN BE ME BECAUSE I HAVE YOU. 465 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,972 [ SINGING CONTINUES ] 466 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,344 GIVE ME THE BILL. 467 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,213 HELLO. 468 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,614 SO, I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH OUR BILL, 469 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:11,117 AND WE WILL NOT BE PAYING ANY OF YOUR HIDDEN FEES. 470 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,020 MA'AM, YOU CAN'T CHOOSE WHAT PART YOU PAY. 471 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,488 YES, I CAN. 472 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,257 TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED, BABY. 473 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,160 I WAS RUNNING BY THE POOL 474 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,129 'CAUSE THERE'S NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY. 475 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,199 AND NO POSTED SIGNAGE. AND NO POSTED SIGNAGE. 476 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,567 AND I FELL. 477 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,237 AND MY TOOTH WAS KNOCKED OUT OF MY HEAD. 478 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,638 [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD. 479 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:36,175 YOUR BILL DIDN'T INCLUDE MY CHILD-DISFIGUREMENT FEE. 480 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,946 AND THAT'S HOW I GET YOU. 481 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,551 OH, WE ALSO HAVE AAA, SO IT'S ANOTHER 10% OFF. 482 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:48,255 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT THE HOTEL CHARGES REDUCED. 483 00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:50,056 YOU ARE ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL. 484 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,259 GOOD JOB, MY BABY. 485 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,826 THANKS, MOMMY. 486 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,895 THE BABY IS BACK. 487 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,265 WAS THAT TRUE? DID YOU REALLY FALL BY THE POOL AND LOSE YOUR TOOTH? 488 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,767 NO. MOM RIPPED IT OUT WITH HER HANDS. 489 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,934 Grandma Huang: HEY... 490 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,371 [ SPEAKS CHINESE ] 491 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,041 [ PEOPLE SCREAMING IN DISTANCE ] 492 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:12,044 [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ] 493 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,416 [ VOMITS ] 494 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,586 I DIED, AND THEY BROUGHT ME BACK! 495 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,255 AW, HELL NO! 496 00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,990 [ SCREAMING CONTINUES ] 497 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,196 SO, WE WERE CLIFF-DIVING OFF THE COAST 498 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,198 WHEN I SAW THEM IN THE WATER -- SHARKS. 499 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,232 I GRABBED MY HARPOON -- 500 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,535 DUDE, THAT'S, LIKE, A BABY TOOTH. 501 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,203 WHAT? NO. 502 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,105 IT'S A TOOTH FROM A HAMMERHEAD SHARK. 503 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,707 THEY'RE SMALLER A-AND FLATTER. 504 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,141 MORE LIKE A "BABYHEAD" SHARK. 505 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,311 [ LAUGHTER ] Boy: "BABYHEAD." 506 00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:45,878 [ SIGHS ] OKAY, FINE. 507 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,380 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THIS SUMMER 508 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,081 EXCEPT FOR SIT AROUND AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES. 509 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,484 THAT'S COOL. NICOLE? 510 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:52,485 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 511 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:54,321 I HAVE TO REPEAT THE 8th GRADE. 512 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,423 PARTIED TOO MUCH WITH MY MOM AND BLEW OFF SUMMER SCHOOL. 513 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,824 WISH I'D DONE NOTHING LIKE YOU. 514 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,160 YOU KNOW THIS KID? 515 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,429 YEAH, HE'S MY FRIEND. 516 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:08,200 YOU JUST CHILLED AT HOME. I LIKE IT. 517 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,137 YOU'RE LIKE... "CHILL" EDDIE. 518 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,642 "SOMEBODY STOP ME!" 519 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:17,276 FROM WHAT? 520 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,779 NO, WHAT -- NO. IT'S... 521 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,448 "SMOKIN'!" 522 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,319 "THE MASK"? JIM CARREY? 523 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,657 "SMOKIN'!!"