1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:05,106
**

2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:08,176
Now, you always have the option
to save your allowance for --

3
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,244
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, Dad.

4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,612
What's in there?

5
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,714
Oh, just some items
I'm returning.

6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:17,685
Watch your mommy turn
your father's 3-year-old socks

7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,953
into cold, hard cash.

8
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,391
There's no way
they're gonna take those back.

9
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:26,227
One has button eyes from when
Emery turned it into a puppet.

10
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:30,098
Mom's the queen of returns.
Watch the master at work.

11
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,066
He's saying,
"You need a receipt."

12
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,702
And Mommy's going, "Are you
saying I didn't buy them here?

13
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:35,969
Are you calling me
a liar?"

14
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,405
And he goes, "No.

15
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,607
I guess I can give you
store credit."

16
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,575
Then she's all,
"Store credit?

17
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,777
Mommy don't play that.
Mommy plays for cash."

18
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,414
**

19
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:47,648
Oh.

20
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,984
* Ba ba-der-baaaa

21
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,153
Victory!

22
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,388
And that's not even
the best part.

23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,925
Whoa. You had a receipt
the whole time?

24
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:58,926
Why didn't you use it?

25
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,994
I like to
challenge myself.

26
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,230
Binder it, baby.

27
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,967
**

28
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:12,840
Oh, look!

29
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,743
That page is from when we did
three returns in one day.

30
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:16,777
Remember, Louis?

31
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,279
That was when you gained
all that water weight.

32
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,347
Oh.

33
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,115
That was muscle.

34
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,153
**

35
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,320
* Fresh off the boat

36
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,021
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

37
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,291
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

38
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:31,525
* Fresh off the boat

39
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,861
* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

40
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,329
* But I know where I'm goin'

41
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,166
* I'm fresh off the boat

42
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,134
(school bell rings)

43
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:44,138
**

44
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,606
Private-school kids.

45
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,342
What are they doing here?
They're gonna get jumped.

46
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,345
They go to school here.
That's our debate team.

47
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,480
Debate team?

48
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,650
It's kind of like a sports team,
but instead of balls...

49
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,486
they throw formal arguments
at each other.

50
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,788
Oh.
Is there any physical contact?

51
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:01,822
Nope.

52
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,357
It's mostly reading
and research.

53
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,992
Oh!

54
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,195
I mean, it's really
just a ton of extra homework.

55
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,396
Ooh!

56
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,030
Well, if you're into it,

57
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,501
they're having tryouts
later this week.

58
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,303
**

59
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,807
How did I not see that poster
before?

60
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,642
We see
what we want to see.

61
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,043
Huh.

62
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,978
Oh, Peggy...

63
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,583
Don't worry, son.

64
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,185
You'll score a basket on me
someday.

65
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,753
Did you have to yell
"Not in my house"

66
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,255
every time
you blocked a shot?

67
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,489
Well, if you keep bringing me
weak sauce,

68
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,890
I'm gonna keep
rejecting it.

69
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,326
(scoffs)

70
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,228
What's this noise?

71
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,729
I'm entering a contest.

72
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,996
You create your own comic,

73
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:45,098
and if the publisher likes it,
they'll print it,

74
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,600
and they'll give it away
for free

75
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,269
a comic-book stores
nationwide.

76
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,937
I heard "give it away,"
"free,"

77
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,539
and then
I stopped listening.

78
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,040
Well,
I think it's awesome.

79
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,908
I'm gonna go
get my colored pencils.

80
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,510
Enjoy working for free.

81
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,119
The substitute
PE teacher?

82
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,088
We're not currently
on speaking terms.

83
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,802
Is he?

84
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,237
He is.

85
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,473
Garfield's wearing
a Rolex.

86
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,740
GRANDMA HUANG: Mm-hmm.

87
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,411
**

88
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,282
Oh.

89
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,217
Your piano-man scarf.
You found it.

90
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,620
Yeah, it was in
the hurricane emergency kit

91
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,821
in the garage for some reason.

92
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,590
* I haven't worn it

93
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,759
* For the longest time

94
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,960
(imitates notes)

95
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:47,995
(chuckles)

96
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,763
Here you go.

97
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:50,931
Oh, good!

98
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,834
I get a chance to use
my new mail-sorting system.

99
00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,074
Mommy, I'd like to try out
for the school debate team.

100
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,175
Absolutely not.

101
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,144
It'll take time away
from your schoolwork,

102
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,913
they'll charge us
for additional supplies,

103
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,247
and I'm not driving
all over town

104
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,182
to take you
to debate tournaments.

105
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,184
Or...

106
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,853
it'll look good
on your transcript,

107
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,254
it's bonus studying,

108
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,624
and it'll be a chance to
practice public-speaking skills

109
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,692
for when you become
doctor-president.

110
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,694
Mommy...did you --
Yes.

111
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,696
I debated myself.

112
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,197
Who do you think won?

113
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,633
Uh...
You did.

114
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,701
Because you're joining
the debate team.

115
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,438
(gasps) You tricked me,
and I love it.

116
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,873
**

117
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,808
Hey, can you hand me
that pencil?

118
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:39,447
Man, we work together
really well.

119
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,114
Building on that,

120
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,851
I was thinking
about your comic-book contest.

121
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,686
Why don't we team up,
do it together?

122
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,688
You know
I'd love a sibling team-up.

123
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,457
It'd be like
my favorite TV show,

124
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:52,292
Sister, Sister,
except brothers.

125
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:55,195
* Brother, brother

126
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,397
But wait.

127
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,532
I thought you said comic books
were a waste of time.

128
00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,800
That was hours ago.

129
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,802
I've changed so much
since then.

130
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,538
Come on.
You draw it, I'll write it.

131
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,174
Together, we could
create something amazing

132
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,909
and possibly make millions.

133
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,077
Hmm.

134
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:13,414
**

135
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,053
In conclusion,

136
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,256
nobody says "a candy bar a day
keeps the doctor away."

137
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,694
Therefore, we need apples
in the school vending machines.

138
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,695
Thank you.

139
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,329
Much better.

140
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,098
Nice opening joke,
good posture,

141
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,166
and I like how you took away
the possibility

142
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,268
of any
poison-apple arguments.

143
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,370
Right.

144
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,105
Because Snow White lived --

145
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:40,574
and I quote --
"happily ever after."

146
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,109
You're ready for tryouts.

147
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,411
(gasps)
One more tip --

148
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,513
When debating a real person,

149
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,448
use their own words
against them.

150
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,217
It traps them in a prison
of their own design.

151
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,920
"...own design."

152
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,254
Thanks, Mommy.

153
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,423
Mm-hmm.

154
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,591
Evan, what did you do
to my Lowenwasser?

155
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,527
I needed a crest.

156
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,928
Oh.

157
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,631
Well, after a few of these,
I'll forget you ever did it.

158
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,467
**

159
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,736
Mom,
you said me and Emery

160
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,438
couldn't read our comic books
at the table,

161
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,272
but Evan gets
to read his debate book?

162
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,241
Evan is
reading an actual book.

163
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,376
You were reading
a finished coloring book.

164
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,312
Ah, so he gets a pass
'cause he's a nerd.

165
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,048
Got it.

166
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,784
In formal debate,
slander is not permitted

167
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,285
and must be stricken
from the record.

168
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,555
Luckily,
this is not a formal debate,

169
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,756
and you are a butt face.

170
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,124
What do you all want
for dessert?

171
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,160
Hector just made
a pineapple right-side-up cake.

172
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,662
He's afraid to flip it.

173
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,829
We'll just take
the usual --

174
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,065
one slice of key-lime pie
and five spoons.

175
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,601
Although,
pineapple cake does sound good.

176
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,903
(chuckles softly)

177
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,138
(inhales sharply) No.

178
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,476
Pie is superior because it is
filled with nutritious fruit.

179
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,778
It is
the healthiest dessert.

180
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,746
In fact,

181
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,516
pie is so good,
dessert couldn't contain it.

182
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:59,352
It burst out into chicken-pot,
mincemeat.

183
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,856
It is the food of shepherds,
mathematicians...

184
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:06,159
Pi --
infinite possibilities.

185
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,261
(light applause)

186
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,763
(chuckles)

187
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,299
But cake is good...

188
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,501
We'll have that piece of --

189
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,035
...and here
are the reasons why.

190
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,770
Cake represents joy --

191
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,607
birthdays, graduations,
retirements.

192
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:21,942
No one's ever heard
of a wedding pie.

193
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,945
Every important milestone
in your life, cake was there.

194
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,514
Cake watched you grow up.

195
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,549
And sure,

196
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:32,219
some may say pie burst out,

197
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,387
but I say pie is confused.

198
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,956
It doesn't know
what it wants to be.

199
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,391
Is it savory?
Is it sweet?

200
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,694
Shepherd's pie
has lamb in it.

201
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,530
Do they seem like good shepherds
to you?

202
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,364
So, really,
when you think about it,

203
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,834
pie is murder.

204
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,637
If you choose life,
choose cake.

205
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,508
Let us eat cake!

206
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,376
**

207
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:02,983
So, then I said,

208
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,252
"When you think about it,
pie is murder.

209
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,721
If you choose life,
choose cake."

210
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,590
(chuckles)
I did get political.

211
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,591
Thank you, Zack.

212
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,560
Anyway,
the place went crazy.

213
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,663
I learned from the best.
Now I'm the best.

214
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:16,897
(telephone base clicks)

215
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,533
**

216
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,569
Let's take a drive.

217
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,009
What do you think?

218
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,578
This is Nice Man.

219
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,280
He uses the power
of overwhelming positivity

220
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,549
to diffuse
negative situations.

221
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:39,219
I don't know if he's gonna go
with the words I've written.

222
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:42,089
"Yo mama" jokes?
How is that a super power?

223
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,292
My guy's an orphan,
so he can tell "yo mama" jokes,

224
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,095
but no one can say them
back to him.

225
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,697
Okay.

226
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,464
How about
another character?

227
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,935
The Empathizer.

228
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,904
Her power is
the superhuman ability

229
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,607
to see things from
other people's point of view.

230
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:00,641
Oh, dope.

231
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,643
So she can see
people's thoughts

232
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,645
and use those thoughts
to destroy them.

233
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:05,979
No.

234
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,581
She's not
the violent type,

235
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,750
but she could understand
why someone else might be.

236
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,252
(sighs)

237
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,454
I think you and I need to get on
the same page.

238
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,923
Why don't we each,
separately,

239
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,658
come up with 10 ideas
for the comic book?

240
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,326
There's bound to be one
we both like.

241
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,895
I hear
where you're coming from!

242
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:27,000
That's The Empathizer's
catchphrase.

243
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,936
Not into it? Okay.

244
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,004
10 ideas. Got it.

245
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,505
**

246
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,675
Mommy, are you really returning
our phone?

247
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,111
You bought that five years ago
at a Radio Shack in D.C.

248
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,780
Watch the queen conquer.

249
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,651
Oh, no.

250
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,352
I need to return
this phone.

251
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,920
I don't believe
we sell this phone.

252
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,022
Oh, good, 'cause I'm not
asking you to sell it to me.

253
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,457
I'm asking you
to take it back.

254
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,359
I'm sorry. I can't.
There are limits.

255
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,427
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.

256
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,329
I didn't realize
you owned this store.

257
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,031
I don't.
Oh.

258
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,433
So, then, who are you
to change the rules?

259
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,102
Is Mr. Save-More here?

260
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,203
Does he know that customers

261
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,205
are no longer
your first priority?

262
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,840
Ma'am...

263
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,342
you know I love
our weekly sparring sessions.

264
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,112
This is my job as much
as it is my gym some days.

265
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,380
But do you know how it would
make me look

266
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,482
to take back a phone
that you didn't even buy here?

267
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,818
I'm sorry,
but my final answer is "no."

268
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,286
Do what you will.

269
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,488
(gasps)
EVAN: Beep. Beep.

270
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,556
Beep-beep. Beep.

271
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,826
Beep. Beep-beep.

272
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:26,827
Bee-beep.

273
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,229
Beep. Beep-beep.

274
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,031
Morse code.

275
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,700
That's how we used
to communicate.

276
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,202
But now...
we use the telephone.

277
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,536
It's what connects us.

278
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,371
That's why it's vital

279
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,807
to have one
that you're happy with.

280
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,175
I'm sorry, sir,
but you're gonna have to wait.

281
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,210
I'm with someone.

282
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,745
I'll be honest with you,
Roger.

283
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:45,813
You're right.

284
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,647
We didn't buy the phone
at this store.

285
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:48,849
But that shouldn't matter.

286
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,383
Let me ask you something.

287
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,351
Do you have a mother?

288
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,419
I do.

289
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,421
Well, then,
imagine your mother

290
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,389
taking time
out of her busy day

291
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,591
to come down here,
looking for help,

292
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,593
only to have someone
embarrass her

293
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,863
in front of you,
her son.

294
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,732
Oh, no. No.

295
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,599
Do the right thing, Roger,

296
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:10,237
not for the store,
but for mothers everywhere.

297
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,372
They're not perfect...

298
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,708
but they're ours.

299
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,044
Okay.

300
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,712
I'm gonna
take the phone back...

301
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,181
and use it
to call my mother.

302
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,017
Chapter 8 --
"Emotional Manipulation."

303
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,021
Binder it, Mommy.

304
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,224
**

305
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,627
(mechanical whirring)

306
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,199
What's going on?

307
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,068
I thought we were supposed to be
working on our 10 ideas.

308
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,269
I am.

309
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,204
Watching Trent play Turok
is part of my process.

310
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:48,375
-Right, Trent?
-Yeah, he's been, uh...

311
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,643
(buttons clicking)

312
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,579
(sighs)

313
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,448
(scribbling aggressively)

314
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,051
Here,
what do you think of this?

315
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:01,621
Lazy Boy uses the power
of flimsy excuses

316
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,057
to deflect responsibility
and hard work.

317
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,725
Looks kind of rushed.

318
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,461
Lazy Boy is you!

319
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,662
You wanted to team up,

320
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,298
but you don't want to do
any of the work.

321
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,166
I thought we were doing this
as brothers.

322
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,302
You've spent more time with
Trent than you have with me.

323
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,805
Whoa!
Don't bring me into...

324
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,506
(grunting)

325
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,941
You wanted me
to do all the work,

326
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,943
which,
come to think of it,

327
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,312
is just like an episode
of Sister, Siste I saw.

328
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,915
But it was
my least...favorite.

329
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,150
I'm going back
to doing my own comic.

330
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,351
Have fun with your game.

331
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,353
Fine!
I can trace my own comic book!

332
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,922
It's not that hard.

333
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,024
The words are the best good
anyway!

334
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,327
Man,
your brother is really...

335
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,429
(grunting)

336
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,199
LOUIS: Jessica?

337
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,801
Why are
all the lights off?

338
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,938
Because Evan wanted them off,
and who am I to argue?

339
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,206
Are you okay?

340
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,675
Look at this.

341
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,211
This is Evan's binder
of returns.

342
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,880
He made it.

343
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,515
He wants me
to hold it for him.

344
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,551
He's better than me
at arguing.

345
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,653
It's his kingdom now.

346
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,956
The queen is dead.

347
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,958
(strained)
Long live the prince.

348
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,525
Okay.

349
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,726
Even if that's true,

350
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,028
is it really so bad?

351
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,997
We want our kids
to be better than us, don't we?

352
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,699
Of course, eventually.

353
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,201
But not today!

354
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,636
How would you feel if Eddie
beat you at basketball?

355
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,973
Well, I'd be sad.

356
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,175
Ooh!

357
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,177
That's game, Pops!
10-0, me.

358
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,678
How's that goose egg taste?

359
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,515
I'd be sad
because I'd be dead.

360
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,150
(chuckles)
That's not happening.

361
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,253
I have nothing left
to teach Evan.

362
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,489
He doesn't need me anymore.

363
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,858
(sighs)

364
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,895
**

365
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,104
Uh...

366
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,605
why are the lights on?

367
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,578
Hi. I'm Louis Huang.

368
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,579
What are you doing?

369
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,348
I just wanted
to introduce myself,

370
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,517
since I have no idea who you are
right now.

371
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,921
Is this some weird bedroom game?
Because I am not in the mood.

372
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,588
And if I was...

373
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,125
you would be dressed
quite differently.

374
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,561
The Jessica I know
fights for what she wants.

375
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:24,531
Show Evan he still needs you,
that he has a lot left to learn.

376
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,938
Remind him
he still needs you.

377
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,805
Stop it.
Fine.

378
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,042
Well,
what do you want me to do?

379
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,243
Well,
what do you want you to do?

380
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,979
(sighs)
I...want...to...

381
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,447
challenge him
to another argument

382
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,215
and destroy him.

383
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,417
Oh, th-that's not exactly
what I was thinking.

384
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,253
Ah, who cares if
he's my baby?

385
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,222
I need to be ruthless,
like you!

386
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,158
Like, what is it
you always say to Eddie

387
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,459
when you're
playing basketball?

388
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,594
"No sauce in our home!"

389
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,929
(claps)

390
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,630
**

391
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,466
Grandma!

392
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,103
Come here for a sec!

393
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,110
What do you think
about this?

394
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:12,912
Garfield?

395
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,915
It's not Garfield.

396
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,417
It's Spaghetti Dog.

397
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,252
Instead of a cat
that likes lasagna,

398
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,421
it's a dog
that likes spaghetti!

399
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,298
This is way harder
than I thought.

400
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,150
(sighs)

401
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,990
Hello, Evan.

402
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:57,957
As you can see,

403
00:15:58,992 --> 00:15:59,959
there are two root vegetables
in front of me.

404
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:00,960
Which one is better?

405
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,163
Let's argue.
You go first.

406
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,132
The debate teacher won't let me
on the team.

407
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,134
**

408
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:10,137
History is littered
with great debates --

409
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,738
Lincoln versus Douglas,

410
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,706
Nixon versus JFK --

411
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,208
How 'bout
mother versus fool?

412
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,809
(chuckles)
I'm sorry?

413
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,079
Why won't you let my son
on your debate team?

414
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,647
I've seen him beat
the best.

415
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:21,914
You can't tell me
he's not good enough.

416
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,850
Actually,
Evan is good enough.

417
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,252
Uh, he's just too young.

418
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,853
Debate team's only
for 5th graders.

419
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,056
Why?
Those are just the rules.

420
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,491
You're the debate teacher.
Defend your rule.

421
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,826
(chuckling) Well,
it's not my rule.

422
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,196
It's the school's rule.

423
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,998
Oh, so you don't care
about these kids at all?

424
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,334
You just do
what your boss tells you to?

425
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:45,272
Is that why you got into debate,
to lie down?

426
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,006
You should work
in a mattress store.

427
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,007
(laughter)

428
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,509
(laughs) Okay, okay.

429
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:53,413
She is -- She is using humor
to expose a flaw in my argument.

430
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,283
Textbook marginalization.
Write that down.

431
00:16:56,383 --> 00:17:00,287
I would encourage you
to think for yourself,

432
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,356
the way you encourage your class
to think for themselves.

433
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,125
Being young isn't
a negative.

434
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,459
It's a positive.

435
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,296
Okay, class,
this is her thesis statement.

436
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,897
Let's see
how she supports it.

437
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:13,200
(regal music plays)
Think of other
brilliant young prodigies

438
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,267
throughout history --

439
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,036
Mozart, Joan of Arc,
Doogie Howser.

440
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,540
What if someone had told them
that they were too young

441
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,310
to practice
their extraordinary gift?

442
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,379
Little girl...

443
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,581
what if someone had
prevented you

444
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,983
from following your dream?

445
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,220
Am I supposed to answer?

446
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,988
I think you just did.

447
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,991
The passion of children
inspires us all to be better.

448
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:42,129
It's what breathes life
into society.

449
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,930
Instead of standing
in the way of that,

450
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,665
we should embrace it,

451
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:46,833
nurture it,

452
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,501
follow it.

453
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:53,340
As Ms. Whitney Houston said,
and I quote,

454
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,676
"I believe the children
are our future.

455
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,745
Teach them well

456
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,080
and let them lead the way."

457
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,619
(Mr. O'Connor laughs)

458
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,156
You're amazing,
Evan's mom!

459
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,433
What's this?

460
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,370
An apology,
from Lazy Boy to Nice Man.

461
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,605
I'm sorry
I didn't do any work.

462
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,106
Give me another chance.

463
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,808
Let me make it up
to you.

464
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,543
Brother, Brother for real
this time.

465
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,280
Well, Nice Man's motto is,

466
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,515
"Everyone deserves
a second chance."

467
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,617
That's why villains always
take advantage of him.

468
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,619
**

469
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,820
All right.

470
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,289
There's still a day
before the deadline.

471
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,123
I think we can still come up
with a superhero

472
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,625
that no one's
ever seen before.

473
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,294
Let's do this.

474
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,564
(door opens)

475
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,065
I'm on the debate team!

476
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,234
Mommy did it!
(door closes)

477
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,835
You should have seen it.

478
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,870
The teacher was like,
"He's too young."

479
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,138
But Mommy was like,

480
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,308
"Young talent is good
for society."

481
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,711
And the teacher was all,
"Ah! You convinced me!"

482
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,846
Guess he does
still need you.

483
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:10,217
Mommy was using debate tricks
there's not even names for.

484
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,084
Then the class asked
if she could be our teacher,

485
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,886
and she said,
"I hate teachers."

486
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,021
Everyone loved her.

487
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,156
She was like a superhero.

488
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,527
**

489
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,230
Oh, my God, Eddie.

490
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,765
The perfect superheroes are
right in front of us.

491
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:29,869
Oh, damn.

492
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,706
Here is your debate team
exemption form,

493
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,208
signed by your teacher.

494
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,176
I'll put it
in your binder.

495
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,111
No.

496
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,680
It belongs in yours.

497
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,057
Here you go.

498
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,293
**

499
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,268
Waste of time.

500
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,069
This is junk.

501
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,439
Let's see this now.

502
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,812
Oh!

503
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:16,115
By the golden hammer of Thor!

504
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,551
Look at this!

505
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,819
Wow.

506
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,622
(scissors snipping)

507
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,957
**

508
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,506
(sipping through straw)

509
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,909
**

510
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,997
(tires screech)

511
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,477
(bell tolling)

512
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,154
Oh, boy!

513
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,723
This is what I've been
looking for!

514
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,863
-- Captions by VITA --