1 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,222 NARRATOR: The shark's oily liver keeps it buoyant 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,528 and balanced in the water. 3 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,485 Hmm. 4 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:13,100 Okay, I just want to reconfirm your yard-sale requests. 5 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,667 Grandma -- anything with Garfield on it. 6 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,060 Eddie -- used gold grille. 7 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,323 Emery -- old silk ties. 8 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,846 Evan -- horse stickers. 9 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,152 Unicorns okay, too? 10 00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,501 As long as it has four hooves 11 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,286 and a beautiful face, I want it. 12 00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:28,332 ♪♪ 13 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,119 Why do you need to wear my fishing vest 14 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,859 to go yard-sale shopping? 15 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:37,472 I put different dollar amounts in various pockets. 16 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,300 When a seller gives me a price, 17 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,303 I reach into a pocket with a lesser amount, pull it out, 18 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,348 and act like it's all I have to offer. 19 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,133 "$4 for a Lite-Brite? 20 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,700 But I only have $3." 21 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:49,527 [chuckles] 22 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:55,272 Oh, um, I'm holding those for... 23 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,187 [clears throat] 24 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,583 ♪ Fresh off the boat 25 00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,324 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 26 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,587 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 27 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,936 ♪ Fresh off the boat 28 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,243 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 29 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,766 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' 30 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,551 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat 31 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,685 ♪♪ 32 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:19,340 [sighs] Well, this is a disaster. 33 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,211 Your mother and I are back and forth 34 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,691 at each other's house so often, 35 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,736 it's hard to remember whose Tupperware is whose. 36 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,999 Well, let's assume yours 37 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,567 are the ones with the spaghetti stains. 38 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,658 It looks like the rest are ours. 39 00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,706 [door opens] 40 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,533 Uh... 41 00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:39,969 Hey, Nicole. 42 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,927 Looks like you had a productive week with your mom. 43 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,407 Yeah, we went to the outlet mall. 44 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:44,626 I bought a ton of tube socks. 45 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,758 I'm gonna cut the feet off and wear them as tops. 46 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,151 [chuckles] That's creative. 47 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,326 Did you also work on your science project? 48 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,588 [sighs] 49 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,155 Nicole, the plan was, 50 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,548 you were going to finish it at Sarah's. 51 00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:56,377 I know, but we were just having so much fun. 52 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,378 Right, Mom? 53 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,988 Wait. She's here? 54 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,729 [dramatic music plays][gasps] 55 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,078 Hey, hussy. 56 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,384 Surprised to see you standing. 57 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,255 Between all your digging for gold 58 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,083 and those fake clangers on your chest, 59 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,519 your back must be killing you. 60 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,173 I'm gonna use the master bathroom. 61 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,175 You remember -- the one I had re-tiled 62 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:15,091 while you were slappin' cakes with my husband. 63 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,879 I'm glad she's going to the bathroom 64 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,186 because her mouth belongs in the toilet. 65 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,971 ♪♪ 66 00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,190 [doorbell rings] 67 00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,585 Sarah came into the house today. 68 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:31,673 McLachlan? 69 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:34,066 No. Marvin's ex-wife, Nicole's mother. 70 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,330 Well, if Sarah McLachlan ever does come over, 71 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,114 tell her her new album is so great. 72 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,378 Anyway, she had Nicole for a whole week, 73 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,467 and they didn't get her homework done, 74 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,990 so now I'm scrambling 75 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:47,123 to help her come up with a science project. 76 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,430 Did you tell Marvin about it? I tried. 77 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,475 So, Sarah came in the house today, 78 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,999 just barged in like she still lives here. 79 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,479 She is always rude to me, 80 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,003 and she is notresponsible when it comes to Nicole. 81 00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,657 I really think you need to step up and... 82 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,311 Sounds like you just need 83 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:03,400 to deal with Sarah yourself, confront her. 84 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,663 Mnh, it's fine. I just needed to vent. 85 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,928 Well, I should head out. I'll call you later. 86 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,931 I have to go work on Nicole's science experiment. 87 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,239 Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school again, 88 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,501 minus my dreads. 89 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:20,156 Sharks do not normally hunt humans. 90 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,636 When they do attack people, 91 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,334 it is usually a case of mistaken identity. 92 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:27,032 This is exactly what sharks want us to think. 93 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,339 When we return, the secret mating habits 94 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,601 of the whale shark. 95 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,473 Eddie, can you change the channel to PBS? 96 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,258 Emery and I want to see what Julia Child is baking today. 97 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,912 You crazy? You heard the man. 98 00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,175 They about to reveal some sex secrets. 99 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,525 Shh! Eddie... 100 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,745 NARRATOR: Go everywhere you want with the ease and comfort 101 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,877 of the Jazzy 1115 Power Chair. 102 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,576 The Jazzy turns on a dime making it ideal for... 103 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,362 Get out in the sunshine, 104 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,321 cruise the neighborhood, visit your friends... 105 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:57,411 ♪♪ 106 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,519 Yes. A child. 107 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,478 I'd like to talk about this $7 blender. 108 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,001 I'll give you $4. 109 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,308 Well, since you're wearing olive green -- 110 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,702 my favorite color -- okay. 111 00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,704 $4 for the blender, please. 112 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:33,403 Oh, shucks. But I only have $3. 113 00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,579 Tell you what -- I'll give you $3 for it, 114 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,233 and I'll pretend I didn't notice 115 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,017 the calcium stains in the pitcher. 116 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:40,541 You're scaring me. 117 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,934 I'm gonna have to check with my dad. 118 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,981 My Aunt Judy, who recently passed away, 119 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,809 had this exact same vacuum. 120 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,767 I know she would have wanted me to have it... 121 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,595 offered to me at a lower price. 122 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,250 [voice breaking] It's just who my Aunt Judy was. 123 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,425 Okay, okay. 124 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,209 I'll let you have it for $15. 125 00:04:57,253 --> 00:05:00,387 Oh, thank you. Thank you! 126 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,438 [sighs] 127 00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:11,485 My dad says you don't look like you're worth the hassle. 128 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,834 $3 is fine. 129 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:16,185 Your dad is a smart man. 130 00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:19,362 And that'll be $20 for the Joan Baez record. 131 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:25,063 Oh. I -- I thought it came with the blender. 132 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,070 Nice negotiating. 133 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,377 Did you use Visine for the tears or onion powder? 134 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,596 Oh, they're real. 135 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,554 I think about the bargains I missed in the past, 136 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:38,990 get me in the right headspace. 137 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,471 And then, to get the tears flowing, 138 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,386 I think about all the kittens that died 139 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,257 during the filming of "Milo and Otis." 140 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:47,477 I like you. 141 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:48,565 Mm. 142 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,612 Ew. Eddie used the same knife, 143 00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,962 and now there's mayo in the mustard jar. 144 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,443 I don't know why you're being all precious. 145 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:57,922 I licked both your bread slices. 146 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,100 I'm in a rush, son. 147 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,450 I don't want to miss anyof the shark marathon. 148 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,061 You know, I was thinking -- Grandma looked so happy 149 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,672 when she saw that motorized-wheelchair commercial. 150 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,631 Maybe we can get her one. 151 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:11,980 We can surprise her with it. 152 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,416 Well, that's a nice thought, boys, 153 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,070 but I'm sure those machines are very expensive. 154 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,550 I called the toll-free number, 155 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,682 and they said immobile seniors can qualify 156 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:21,293 for a free Jazzy Power Chair if they're 65 or older. 157 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,557 And Grandma is...?I don't know. 158 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,428 You don't know? Youdon't know! 159 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,473 But she made you. 160 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:27,778 Do you know yourmom's age? 161 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,563 31. 28. 43. 162 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,608 That's the combination to the padlock on the shed. 163 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,484 Um, Grandma, how old are you? 164 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,317 But you know when your birthday is. 165 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:52,716 I get that. 166 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,502 March 24th was my steak birthday. 167 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,027 [funky music playing] 168 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,594 [indistinct conversations] 169 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:05,816 [music box playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb"] 170 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,383 That's beautiful. 171 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,732 Did you write that? 172 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,691 Yes. 173 00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:11,953 [door closes] 174 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,390 Oh, I am soglad you called. 175 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,261 I need a drink. 176 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,873 All day, I've been helping Nicole with her science project. 177 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,135 [sighs] 178 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,745 How was the yard sale? Good. 179 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,052 I got a blender, I got this music box, 180 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,097 and I got some porcelain mice figurines. 181 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,100 [inhales sharply] 182 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,494 Three ciders? Who's the extra glass for? 183 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,278 What the hell are youdoing here? 184 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,063 What the hell are youdoing here? 185 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,674 Jessica invited me.Jessica invited me. 186 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,067 You guys know each other? 187 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:41,156 This is Sarah, Nicole's mom. 188 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,853 This is SarahSarah? 189 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:45,552 And that's whore-face, the woman who stole my husband. 190 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,684 You know what? I'm out of here. 191 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,164 No. You can't go. 192 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:50,557 I just put 50 cents in the jukebox, 193 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,384 and I picked the two best songs 194 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,125 from Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy." 195 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:56,780 And Deb doesn't let anyone leave when McLachlan is playing. 196 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,260 All right, everybody. 197 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,872 I need you to close your eyes 198 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,961 and get ready to feel this. 199 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:06,007 [cheers and applause] 200 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,183 Okay, Sarah, bring it. 201 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,707 [Sarah McLachlan's "Possession" plays] 202 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:18,672 ♪ Be the one to hold you down 203 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,412 ♪ Kiss you so hard 204 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:26,201 And then the delivery man backed his truck over my lawn. 205 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:29,596 My point is, thatwas a real enemy. 206 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,598 This, between you two, is fixable. 207 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,338 ♪ Close your eyes 208 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,818 You want to take mine, too? 209 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,777 I already put my mouth on it. 210 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,213 Seems to be your move. 211 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,562 Mnh-mnh, no. 212 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,433 My move would be taking that cider, 213 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,131 unhappy with its previous glass, 214 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:45,176 and upgrading it to a fresh, new glass 215 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,700 who is capable of love. 216 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,746 Also, the old glass has a prescription-drug problem. 217 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,270 I have fibromyalgia! 218 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:55,796 Two strong women giving each other a hard time. 219 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,362 This is good. 220 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,147 This is healing. 221 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,844 [sniffles][applause] 222 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,455 [voice breaking] Okay, everyone, uh... 223 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,457 [music fading]...just as a reminder, 224 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,808 we're an official vendor for Women's Fest tickets. 225 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,200 See Pam at the bar. 226 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:10,724 WOMAN: Whoo! Yeah, girl! 227 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,640 I'm leaving. Me too. 228 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:19,210 Stop following me.There's only onedoor. 229 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,648 NARRATOR: Strange items have been found in the stomachs 230 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:24,868 of tiger sharks, including old license plates, 231 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:28,263 alarm clocks, tennis rackets. 232 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,395 If Mom won't get me a gold grille, 233 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,833 maybe I can find one inside a shark. 234 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,270 Eddie, come on. Help us figure out how old Grandma is. 235 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,884 Grandma, when you were younger, did you miss school because, 236 00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,886 "A," polio, 237 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,496 "B," plague, 238 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,542 or "C," volcanoes? 239 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,893 Well, we were -- 240 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,200 Emery's doing a report about grandmothers for school. 241 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,810 [whispers] What? Why would you say that? 242 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,856 So we can surprise her with the chair. 243 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,032 [sighs] 244 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,338 Where are you going?To write the report. 245 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,777 If my grandmother thinks I'm writing a report on her, 246 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,343 then I'm writing a report on her. 247 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,824 I don't know about y'all, but I'm going to heaven. 248 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,567 [doorbell rings] 249 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,659 I am sorry about yesterday. 250 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,792 If I had known that Sarah was Marvin's ex, 251 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:21,185 I neverwould have put you in that awkward position. 252 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,885 Please accept your Tupperware as an apology. 253 00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,887 [chuckles] It's okay. 254 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:27,931 It's not your fault. 255 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,759 [timer dings] 256 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,021 That's for Nicole's science project. 257 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,370 Come on in. 258 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,329 We're studying the effects of different corrosive acids 259 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:35,156 on tooth enamel. 260 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:37,419 Ooh. Share your findings. 261 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,945 Nice potion kit. 262 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,904 Nicole, you were supposed to take the teeth out 263 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,122 when the timer went off. 264 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,950 This was a controlled experiment. 265 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,691 So I'll do it now. It's not a big deal. 266 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:49,823 It isa big deal. 267 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,259 This is your school project, 268 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,869 and you need to get a good grade on it. 269 00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,089 You don't want to repeat ninth grade like you did eighth. 270 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,917 So, what if I do get held back? 271 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,396 Mom didn't even graduate from high school, 272 00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,963 and she's doing great. 273 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,922 She deejays at the Radisson on Sundays, 274 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,272 andshe's the head of the glove department at Saks. 275 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,404 She said she can hook me up with a job there whenever. 276 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,841 Department head. 277 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,539 She sells gloves out of a 4x4 counter next to the bathroom. 278 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,802 She's a subdivision of Hats and Scarves. 279 00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:14,935 [scoffs] And she's way more fun than you. 280 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:18,503 Uh, young lady, we're in the middle of an experiment! 281 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,942 Or have you forgotten about the teeth-heat trial in the oven? 282 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,595 Aw. 283 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,337 Ruined. 284 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,991 What was the goal? 285 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:30,385 I hate always having to be the hard-ass. 286 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,735 [scoffs] You know, Nicole has somuch potential, 287 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,171 but she won't challenge herself 288 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,956 because Sarah keeps telling her 289 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,784 she has some glove job waiting for her, 290 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,177 which, by the way, Sarah doesn't even need 291 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,789 because Marvin pays her a ton of alimony. 292 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,356 I wish that wasn't even an optionfor Nicole. 293 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,141 I wish she would think bigger 294 00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,143 and realize there's more out there. 295 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:51,841 Thank you for letting me vent. 296 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,930 Absolutely. 297 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,976 [door closes]That's what I'm here for. 298 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,761 Hey. Whoa. 299 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:03,026 Where -- Where did you get these? 300 00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,811 [telephone ringing] 301 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,911 [line disconnects] 302 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:20,565 Well, second cousin Susan hung up on me again. 303 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,611 I think we've exhausted our options. 304 00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:24,178 You could pay the long distance. 305 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:25,832 Yeah, I think we're out of options. 306 00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,400 I finished my report on Grandma. I've got great news. 307 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,967 I was looking through old photographs, 308 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,577 and I figured out how old she is. 309 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,189 Well, spit it out, man. How old is she? 310 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:36,799 Does she qualify for a Jazzy Chair? 311 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,627 She does. [chuckles][chuckles] 312 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,151 [telephone rings]Hello? 313 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,284 AUTOMATED RECORDING: You have received a collect call from... 314 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,424 [muzak plays] 315 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,513 Excuse me. Do you -- 316 00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,864 Oh, there's the bathroom. Never mind. 317 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,999 Hey, Jessica, nice to see you. 318 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,915 Who's buying thesegloves? Murderers? 319 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,700 They're supposed to be putting the head on a snowman. 320 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,009 I see it now. 321 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,532 So, what are you doing here? 322 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,230 I wanted to talk to you about something. 323 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,753 Sure. What's up? 324 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,190 Somebody ripped out a bunch of seat protectors in there 325 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,844 and threw them on the floor. 326 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,673 Okay, well, that's not my department. 327 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,502 [scoffs] All right. Okay. 328 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,634 You're welcome. 329 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,114 Thank you... 330 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,420 for... 331 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,595 I took care of your problem. 332 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,858 I got Sarah fired. 333 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:36,990 Uh... 334 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,867 What do you mean you got Sarah fired? 335 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,130 Yousaid you didn't want her getting Nicole 336 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,915 a job at Saks to be an option, 337 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:51,656 and now...it's not. 338 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,962 What did you do? 339 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,225 I went to Sarah's work, and I talked to her. 340 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,358 I explained to her how she's putting you 341 00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:59,273 in a difficult position with Nicole, 342 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,101 always having to be the hard-ass. 343 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,798 She did not agree. 344 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,800 She had a different version of events. 345 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,891 So I listened to her patiently, said goodbye, 346 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,024 then I went and found her manager 347 00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,982 and told him she was a racist. 348 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,592 She said something racist to you? 349 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:17,900 No, of course not, but I toldhim she did. 350 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,163 I said, "She refused to sell me gloves 351 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,731 because her uncle fought in the war." 352 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,038 What war?Whatever war. Doesn't matter. 353 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:28,998 Jessica, when I said that thing about Sarah and Nicole, 354 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,043 I was just venting. 355 00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,914 Exactly. I know. 356 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,568 Do you? 357 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,351 Yes. 358 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,962 Jessica? 359 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,702 [sighs] Okay, fine. 360 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,269 I have no idea what you're talking about! 361 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:40,618 You keep using this word "venting." 362 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,142 What does that even mean? 363 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,970 If you didn't know, why didn't you ask? 364 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,146 Because sometimes I need our conversations 365 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,190 to move along, Honey. 366 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,975 Do you know how long they would take 367 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,280 if I had to stop you every time 368 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,021 I didn't understand a word you used? 369 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,154 "Venting," "closure," "Clinique." 370 00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:56,112 "Venting" means talking stuff out. 371 00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,201 I just needed you to listen. I did. 372 00:14:58,245 --> 00:14:59,637 I listened to your problem, 373 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:02,858 and then I, as a friend, help you to fix it. 374 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,426 This is just gonna make things harder for me. 375 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,949 I mean, God knows I don't like Sarah, 376 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,082 but I definitely didn't want her to lose her job. 377 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,953 I thought you said she didn't even need that job. 378 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,086 Again, I was just venting. 379 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,957 I'm not even positive that's true. 380 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,872 So, venting is lying. 381 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,222 And what about Nicole? 382 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:20,528 She's gonna hear about this 383 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,312 and think that I asked you to do it. 384 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:25,663 So, you didn't want me to do anything. No. 385 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:28,797 You just wanted to talk it out. Right. 386 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,321 Because I was... Venting. 387 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,019 Yes. Okay. 388 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,237 I get it now. 389 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,109 Oh, Honey, don't worry. 390 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,371 We're gonna fix this 391 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:41,244 so you can put it all behind you and get...Clinique. 392 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,159 Close enough. 393 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:46,989 NARRATOR: Next up, the great white shark attacks a seal, 394 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:50,036 thrashing its prey around like a rag doll. 395 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,821 Yo, the life of an actual rag doll 396 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,257 must be mad horrific. 397 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,477 Hey, Mom, me and the boys 398 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,044 have some exciting news to share. 399 00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,610 We figured out how old you are. 400 00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:02,048 When I did a report on you... 401 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:05,138 that was assigned to me... at school...by a teacher... 402 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,879 I came across this old photo. 403 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,230 That baby is you. 404 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,846 You're on page 11. I dog-eared it. 405 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,676 Anyway, I went to the library 406 00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:24,418 and did some research on the tractor manufacturer. 407 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,594 That particular model was only in production 408 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,465 for one year before it was discontinued. 409 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,511 That year was 1927. 410 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,122 So, Grandma, you are 69 years old. 411 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,950 Hmm. 412 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,043 This means that you can get 413 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,132 a motorized wheelchair for free! 414 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,699 We'll put some big old tires on it, 415 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,222 hit Cocoa Beach for spring break. 416 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,667 Oh, Mom. 417 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,062 [muzak plays] 418 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,325 Back off, Gary. The fern is mine. 419 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,631 I brought it from home. 420 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:04,893 Sarah, you're not fired. 421 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:05,894 What? 422 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,548 The customer who filed the complaint 423 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,289 against you confessed she made it up. 424 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:10,855 I'll tell you what -- 425 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,640 there are some real wack-jobs out there. 426 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,207 But we knew that when we signed up 427 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,078 for this crazy little game called retail. 428 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,428 I don't get why anybody would do that. 429 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:21,214 Mm, ask her. She's right over there. 430 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:24,130 ♪♪ 431 00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,696 You already stole my husband. 432 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,307 Now you're trying to get me fired? 433 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,222 Actually, it was me. 434 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,311 It was you?Yes, it was me. 435 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,313 I went to your manager, I used your tears trick, 436 00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,706 and I got you fired. 437 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,144 You were right about "Milo and Otis." Very effective. 438 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,233 She only did it because she thought 439 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,496 she was helping me, but thisisn't what I wanted. 440 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,106 I don't want bad things for you. 441 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,152 Oh, you expect me to believe that? 442 00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,676 You blame me for your marriage with Marvin falling apart, 443 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:49,677 and I get that. 444 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,808 Don't flatter yourself. 445 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,984 Marvin and I had issues before you. 446 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:55,335 You're the result of the problems in my marriage, 447 00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,901 not the causeof them. 448 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:59,165 Can I just ask one question? 449 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,602 What is the appeal of Marvin? 450 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,039 What am I missing here? 451 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,824 It's not aboutMarvin. Trust me. 452 00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,522 He's narcissistic, insensitive, 453 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:11,177 and he refuses to believe he's losing his hearing. 454 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,918 You know how loud that man makes the TV? 455 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,747 Oh, I guess we're all watching "Mad About You." 456 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:17,792 You know what? 457 00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,576 He's actually noneof those things -- 458 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,405 Honey, I think she's venting. 459 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,147 Marvin's not the reason I'm so mean to you. 460 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,453 It's because of Nicole. 461 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,196 I want her to like me more than she likes you, 462 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,981 which is why I let things like her science project slide. 463 00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,417 As long as I'm always fun, 464 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:37,072 Nicole will want to spend time with me. 465 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,857 Sarah, she'll want to spend time with you because you're her mom. 466 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,425 And I will never get in the way of that. 467 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:45,341 I appreciate you saying that. 468 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,038 [gasps] 469 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,562 Honey! 470 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,607 It's what you've been looking for -- 471 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,522 Clinique. 472 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,090 ♪♪ 473 00:18:58,267 --> 00:18:59,442 Oh, hi. 474 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,835 Can I help you folks with anything? 475 00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:03,185 One new wheelchair for our grandma. 476 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,317 And this pimp cane, please. 477 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,537 Uh, she qualifies for a free Jazzy Power Chair. 478 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,278 We don't have a birth certificate for her, 479 00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,324 but my son has proof that she's over 65. 480 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,065 If you look at this baby picture of her next to a tractor -- 481 00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,241 Oh, no. No need. 482 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,460 I can tell just by looking at her she's obviously old enough. 483 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,550 I'll just, uh, get a Polaroid of her face 484 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,335 to send to the insurance company. 485 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:24,206 I'm sure they'll approve the application. 486 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,425 Say, "Cheese." 487 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,436 That's a lot of words for "cheese" [chuckles] but okay. 488 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,352 [camera shutter clicks] 489 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:42,485 Oh. At least 65. [chuckles] 490 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,095 ♪♪ 491 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,663 So, even though one of the blades is broken, 492 00:19:46,707 --> 00:19:49,231 my $3 blender still blends. 493 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,233 I love pulse. Mm. 494 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:56,020 I'll pulse anything -- strawberry, ice cube, egg. 495 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:56,847 Hey, Marvin. 496 00:19:58,327 --> 00:19:59,459 Hi, sweetie. 497 00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,726 Hello, Jessica. 498 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,471 Those teeth I borrowed were from his private collection. 499 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:12,950 He has spent years gathering teeth 500 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,604 from powerful historical figures 501 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,520 to put together the perfect mouth. 502 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,174 He calls it "Mouth Brushmore." 503 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:22,308 [chuckling] I get why you like him now. 504 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,091 [chuckles] 505 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:25,528 Hi, Honey. Hi, Mrs. Huang. 506 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,095 Maybe you and I can hang out tonight, 507 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:28,531 watch a movie or something? 508 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,054 You have to do your math homework. 509 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,535 Oh. I'm already done. Mom helped me finish it. 510 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,537 She said I hadto before she dropped me off. 511 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:39,455 Oh. Uh, then, yeah, yeah, a movie sounds nice. 512 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,242 Oh, this is a nice moment. 513 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,940 After you're done with it, 514 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,202 you might want to check that math homework. 515 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,248 Oh, yeah. [whispers] Yeah. 516 00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,301 [engine shuts off] 517 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:04,567 [dramatic music plays] 518 00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:08,745 NARRATOR: The lone hammerhead shark waits for the perfect moment 519 00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:11,139 to strike its unsuspecting prey. 520 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,752 [scraping] 521 00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,721 GIRL: Think that's a good idea. 522 00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:29,375 MAN: Hmm. 523 00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:32,291 --Captions by VITAC--