1
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:04,805
(cheering)

2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,175
Those girls
can really elbow.

3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,011
Ohhh!

4
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,247
Can anyone tell me
what this is?

5
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,186
Nope.
I know what it is,
but I want you

6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,987
to say it first
so I know you know.

7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,822
It's a squash.
Squash!

8
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,724
I cook it every Thanksgiving,
and no one eats it.

9
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,893
Why?
Because it's disgusting.

10
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,731
Can anyone point out
our ancestors in this painting?

11
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,702
No, that's right, you can't --
because they're not there.

12
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:38,206
Eventually, they will be
way back in this field,

13
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:41,008
buried underneath
the railroad tracks

14
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,711
that they built
with no food or water.

15
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,883
And do you ever
ask yourself, "Why?"

16
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:53,521
Why do we put ourselves through
all this holiday nonsense,

17
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,590
through all the headaches
of visiting relatives,

18
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,860
through all the squash?

19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,296
All for a day that
we have no cultural ties to.

20
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,631
Why do we do it?

21
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,199
Why? Why?

22
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,535
Because that's what we do
every year. It's tradition.

23
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,036
It's not our tradition.

24
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,404
We don't like it.

25
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,974
It's a lot of hard work,
and we get nothing out of it.

26
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,144
You can't stop Thanksgiving.
It's too strong.

27
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:18,312
That's like trying to stop
Fabulous Barbara.

28
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,614
Roller derby.

29
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:23,417
Louis,
I don't want to stop it.

30
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,386
I want to capitalize on it.

31
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,456
I want to open Cattleman's Ranch
for Thanksgiving.

32
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,592
Really? I was kind of looking
forward to a day off.

33
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,327
A day off spent
searching for the leaf

34
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:34,462
in the dining room table?

35
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,529
I like a mystery.

36
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,898
Listening to my sister's husband
play the ukulele?

37
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,300
Steve does
a great "Kokomo."

38
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,802
Smiling through
my mother's colorful remarks

39
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,171
about her black mailman?

40
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,305
What time should we open?

41
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,307
Wait --
so no family this year?

42
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,641
We get to
keep our rooms?

43
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:48,976
And sleep
in our own beds

44
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,811
instead of in the pantry,
on rice bags?

45
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,314
That's right.
Yes! I don't have to
wash my sheets!

46
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,015
Oh, you still have to
wash your sheets.

47
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,550
You don't get me.

48
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,888
The bar at the restaurant
has a TV.

49
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:10,198
We are working
on Thanksgiving!

50
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,869
* Fresh off the boat

51
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,605
* I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go *

52
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,873
* If you don't know, homey,
now you know *

53
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,175
* Fresh off the boat

54
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:23,544
* Homey, you don't know
where I come from *

55
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,878
* But I know where I'm goin'

56
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,815
* I'm fresh off the boat

57
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,116
(school bell rings)

58
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,085
Okay, class, it's time to turn
in your family tree assignments.

59
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,724
Eddie,
where's your homework?

60
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,692
Um...I didn't do it.

61
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:39,560
You didn't do it?

62
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,061
Why?

63
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,062
Why?!

64
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,631
Why?

65
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,165
Because...

66
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:47,301
Why?

67
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:50,170
(alarm clock ringing)

68
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:53,073
Eddie!
Are you ready for school?

69
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,508
Never been more ready
in my life.

70
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,982
(phone beeps)
How'd your family
take the news?

71
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,585
My mom congratulated me
on choosing work over her,

72
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,387
and then
Connie stole the moment

73
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,589
by claiming
her psychic predicted it all.

74
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,524
Well, I'll start calling
the staff,

75
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,560
see who I can ask to work
on Thursday.

76
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,895
Ask? You don't ask.
You tell.

77
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,330
It won't be hard
to get someone.

78
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,731
Holiday pay is
time and a half.

79
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,267
You tell them,
"Happy Thanksgiving.

80
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,435
See you on Friday
at regular pay."

81
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,070
But we'll need
extra help.

82
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,405
That's why
we have children.

83
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,606
We'll do a buffet.

84
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,207
We'll prep all the food
in the morning.

85
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,710
A couple servers
is the only staff we need.

86
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,617
(chuckles)

87
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,287
Well, it looks like
all we have left to do

88
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,788
is the centerpieces.

89
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,423
And pick up
the raffle prize.

90
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,225
Oh! Which was
another amazing idea you had --

91
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,927
raffling off
a fresh turkey.

92
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,463
(doorbell rings)
Thanksgiving is built on
gamblers and hungry people.

93
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:50,664
This excites both.

94
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,933
Hey!

95
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,935
Can I stash these pinecones
over here?

96
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,804
I just bought them
at the French Bushel,

97
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,872
and Marvin doesn't believe in
buying things

98
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,240
you can find
on the ground.

99
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,709
Don't tell that
to a truffle pig.

100
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,711
(pinecones thud)

101
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,579
Why is it so quiet
in here?

102
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,947
I thought you guys
would be running around

103
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,282
screaming at each other,

104
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,817
getting the house
ready for guests.

105
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,485
Uh, we're not doing that
this year.

106
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:12,553
We're working.

107
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,121
What are
you and Marvin doing?

108
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,623
Uh, well,
we assumed that we would

109
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,491
come over here for dinner,
like we did last year --

110
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,727
after Marvin
and his dentist friends

111
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,296
go on
their annual deer hunt.

112
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,665
They call themselves
the Buck Tooth Club.

113
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,967
Well, you and Marvin should come
to Cattleman's for dinner.

114
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,770
It'll be just like last year,
except $6.99 a head.

115
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:30,938
That sounds great.

116
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,173
$6.99 for kids.

117
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,075
$18.99 for adults.

118
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,511
Oh. Sure. Okay.

119
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,689
(doorbell rings)

120
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:52,693
Principal Hunter?

121
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,095
We have a major problem.

122
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,598
Eddie refused to do
his family tree assignment.

123
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,433
Why didn't you
do your homework?

124
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,434
I had a vision.

125
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,802
What do you mean?
What vision?

126
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,504
When I was asleep
in bed last night,

127
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,305
I realized
eighth grade doesn't matter.

128
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,274
Who told you this
in your vision? A bum?

129
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,377
As long as you don't fail,
you get into high school,

130
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,445
and that's when grades
start to count.
(sighs)

131
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,382
Colleges don't look at
your middle-school report cards.

132
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,216
I'm already getting A's
in all my classes,

133
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,852
so I can take the rest
of the year off and still pass.

134
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,153
Oh.

135
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,722
But what --
Is this true?

136
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,857
Send the boy
to his room.

137
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,893
EDDIE: No need.
I'll send myself.

138
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,027
Thanks for the ride,
Hunter.

139
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,162
See you at graduation.

140
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,301
Look, let's not milk a cow
and call it butter.

141
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,503
We all know he's right.

142
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,805
That eighth grade
doesn't matter?
Yeah.

143
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,007
And we all know
how much Eddie likes to talk.

144
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,376
Do you ever ask yourself,
"Why?"

145
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,412
Why we put ourselves through
all the hassle,

146
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,579
through all the headaches
of homework,

147
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:48,882
through all the tests --
for grades that don't matter?

148
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:49,983
Why do we do it?

149
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,019
Why? Why?

150
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,855
(murmurs of agreement)

151
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,725
We have a code black!

152
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,593
The prophecy.

153
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,397
Frankly, I'm surprised
it's taken this long

154
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,998
for a kid
to figure it out.

155
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,834
We can't risk this
spreading.

156
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,935
If the truth gets out,

157
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,603
it could bring
the whole system down.

158
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,606
Don't worry. I will put a stop
to this right away.

159
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,942
I hope so.

160
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:18,145
The fate of lower-school
academia is in your hands.

161
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,782
Nonsense time is over.

162
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,283
You live in our house,
you get good grades.

163
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,786
And you're gonna start right now
with your family tree project.

164
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,087
Why?
It's pointless.

165
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,222
Like Mom said, it's a lot
of hard work for nothing.

166
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,591
I never said that.

167
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,860
Yeah, you did --
about Thanksgiving.

168
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,928
You know how your Thanksgiving
is Thanksgiving?

169
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,630
My Thanksgiving
is eighth grade.

170
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,398
Who put you up to this?

171
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,533
Your white friends?

172
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,602
No more white friends!
New rule!

173
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,803
Okay, fine.

174
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,238
Let's pretend
that grades are important

175
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:48,075
and I work hard this year
and in high school and college.

176
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,243
And then Dad dies.
Wait, what?

177
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,312
And I take over the restaurant,
carrying on the family business.

178
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,414
Oh. Like a legacy.

179
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,885
No matter good grades or bad,
I end up in the same spot.

180
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,087
Who says Cattleman's
is going to go to you?

181
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,791
What about Emery and Evan?
The restaurant might go to them.

182
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,726
Even better.
Give it to them.

183
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,228
They can do all the work,
and I'll be a silent partner.

184
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,997
When have you ever
been silent?

185
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,264
(chuckles)
Not through "The Goonies."

186
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,332
That's for sure.

187
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,101
Oh, you mean
the coincidences?

188
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,403
"We need money."
"Oh. Here's a treasure map."

189
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,938
"We need a strong guy."

190
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,574
"Oh, look in the ice cream
cooler! There's an ogre!"

191
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,643
"Watch out!
There's a piano booby trap!"

192
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,844
"Oh, wait -- I play."

193
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,813
It's a movie!
And it's a great one!

194
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,815
Eddie, you are not
leaving this room

195
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,617
until you finish
your homework.

196
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,284
That's what
I've been saying.

197
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,253
I'll hang out in here
until ninth grade

198
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,421
and then do my homework.

199
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,589
Glad we agree, Mom.

200
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,125
Dad, get on board
with me and Mom.

201
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,530
Can you guys leave?
I'm gonna take a naked nap.

202
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:50,971
Do you know
what the problem is?

203
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,607
He's become
a lazy, entitled bum.

204
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,608
We have a bum kid!

205
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,543
Jessica, hold on.

206
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,977
This is our reward

207
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,947
after years of struggle
and self-sacrifice,

208
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,982
trying to provide,
working on holidays!

209
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,552
Building a legacy
that my boy wants to take over.

210
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,453
No, see,
that's the problem!

211
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,155
He thinks
he can just sit back

212
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,658
and everything's going to
just be handed to him,

213
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,893
so he doesn't
appreciate anything.

214
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,494
Not "The Goonies."
That's for sure.

215
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,130
(sighs)

216
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,732
I was so careful.

217
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,034
I was so strict.

218
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,503
Then a video game here,
a gummy snack there.

219
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,872
You can't blame yourself.

220
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,306
I blame you, too.

221
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,875
You're the one
who bought him this.

222
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,044
What is this?

223
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,345
(chuckles)

224
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,482
It's an invisible dog
on a leash.

225
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,585
Eddie doesn't realize
how lucky he has it.

226
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,687
You know,
he has so many T-shirts,

227
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,822
so many rap CDs,
so many sneakers.

228
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,991
He has
four pairs of sneakers.

229
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,659
Who is he --
Imelda Marcos?

230
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,461
Well, maybe he just needs to be
reminded how good he has it.

231
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,370
Hope that's not
the National Geographic

232
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,906
Grandma claims she's in.

233
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,674
We wanted to help out
with centerpiece ideas,

234
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,909
so we're making
these Thanksgiving mood boards

235
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,611
for inspiration.

236
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,112
I like to start
with a feel,

237
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,748
so I collected
these light-brown tones.

238
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,550
Mine's a celebration
of maize.

239
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,219
You know,
different types of maize,

240
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:15,388
different sizes of maize,
different colors of maize,

241
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,356
uses for maize,

242
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,426
American maize,
plus common European maize.

243
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,560
Welcome to my morning.

244
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,929
That's so thoughtful
of you boys.

245
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,230
You didn't have to do
all this.

246
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,798
Well, we figured
we better start

247
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,466
helping Cattleman's
any way we can.

248
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,935
We overheard Mom say

249
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,103
that we might have a chance
to inherit it.

250
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,105
You guys are interested
in the restaurant, too?

251
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,941
Of course --
under the right management,

252
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,508
that thing could
make some money.

253
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,913
I guess I never imagined
Cattleman's Ranch could become

254
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,581
Cattleman's Ranch and Sons.

255
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,952
We should put a cowboy
on the sign lassoing his boys.

256
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,920
Cattleman's is
a ranch.

257
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,789
The sign should be a cow
with his calves.

258
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,758
You mean a bull.
A cow's a girl.

259
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,225
You're a girl!

260
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,061
Now, now, sons,
it's just my silly legacy.

261
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,897
(chuckling)
Not worth fighting over.

262
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,066
Who am I gonna trust
with my secret barbecue recipe?

263
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,369
Your secret's safe with me --
as long as I don't get tickled.

264
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,674
EDDIE:
All right, G-dubs, what tunes
should we listen to tonight?

265
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,242
P-to-the-E-to-the-abo Bryson?

266
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,811
Aah!
Where's my bed?!

267
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,181
Something wrong, Eddie?

268
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,983
Call the cops!
We've been hit!

269
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,118
Oh, beds are for people
who work hard.

270
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,688
You work hard,
you rest hard.

271
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,323
You stole your son's bed
on Thanksgiving eve?

272
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,159
Recommit yourself to school
and hard work,

273
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,695
you get your bed back.

274
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,264
You know what?
I don't need it.

275
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,167
Beds are like eighth grade --
useless.

276
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:35,803
I'll just sleep
on some T-shirts.

277
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,306
(whispering) I knew he had
too many T-shirts.

278
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,143
[ Peabo Bryson singing ]

279
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,946
(sighs)
This is great.

280
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,447
This is good.

281
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,317
I think I'm too comfortable,
actually.

282
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,152
(sighs)

283
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,154
I need to find my damn bed!

284
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,325
(indistinct conversations)

285
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,366
LOUIS: You put me
in a Thanksgiving pickle.

286
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,335
How do I sell more tickets
to other people

287
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,637
after I just gave you
the winner?

288
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,639
This is the winning ticket.
I can feel it.

289
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,142
Just promise me you won't let
this free turkey change you.

290
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,310
Don't forget about us
after you win, okay?

291
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,646
Oh.
That's the lucky ticket.

292
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,081
After you win,
you and that turkey

293
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,582
should take a trip
to Vegas.

294
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,517
(cheering)

295
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:36,396
Ketchup?
Is -- Is that what you want?

296
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,702
(chuckles) What were you doing
in the freezer?

297
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,338
Just checking to see if my mom
hid my mattress in there.

298
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,607
I'm so scared
of your mom.

299
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,611
(yawns)

300
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,680
What's wrong?

301
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,782
Didn't sleep well?

302
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,449
I'm good.
Just stretching my jaw muscles.

303
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,051
Getting ready for dinner.
Oh, okay.

304
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,620
Why don't you walk around and
remind people about the raffle?

305
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,789
Unless you're too tired.

306
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,290
Not tired.
Full of energy!

307
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:07,627
Hup! Hup! Hup!
Hup! Hup! Hup!

308
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,863
Looks like everyone's enjoying
the centerpieces.

309
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:10,898
Nice job, boys.

310
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,099
How do you know that?

311
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,233
Huh?

312
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,534
What did you observe?

313
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,870
How does one enjoy
the centerpieces?

314
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,872
Yeah, tell us.
We want to learn.

315
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,240
Oh. Um, yeah.

316
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,242
Uh, yeah.
I-I-I don't know.

317
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,410
I just said
it to say something.

318
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:28,748
"Motivate staff
with lies."

319
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,984
Hey, boss?
Creamed corn's running low.

320
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,219
Hmm. Let's see how

321
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,254
my owners-in-training
would handle this.

322
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,255
Boys?

323
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,257
Let's open up
two big cans.

324
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,226
EVAN:
But only bring out one.

325
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,261
Keep the other in the back
in case we don't need it.

326
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,562
We can reuse it tomorrow.

327
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,831
Ah.

328
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,333
Naturals. Don't know
where they got it from.

329
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,568
(Nancy chuckles)

330
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,737
Owners-in-training?

331
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,173
Oh, no, we're screwed!

332
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,675
Ask my niece --
I am not good with kids.

333
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,910
I don't know
if this makes me racist,

334
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,446
but I did not realize
there were two of them.

335
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,982
(cheering)
Oh, I love
Rocky and Bullwinkle!

336
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,925
Yeah.

337
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,460
Hm.
(chuckles)

338
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,296
Sweetie, it's fine.
Hm.

339
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,765
We still have a freezer full
of deer left from last year.

340
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,934
12 years in a row,
I've iced a deer,

341
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,635
and today --
squat, diddly.

342
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,939
Aw, well, maybe they just kept
catching the scent of handsome

343
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:26,974
and got skittish.

344
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,341
Oh, no.

345
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:32,012
I'm 30 feet up in a tree blind,
soaked in deer urine.

346
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,447
My charm's strong,
but it's not that strong.

347
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,783
Hey, Marvin and Honey. Make sure
to buy a raffle ticket.

348
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,885
Blah, blah, blah.

349
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,619
Did my mom stash my bed
at your house,

350
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,354
like she did
with our Christmas presents?

351
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,356
No.
Why'd she take your bed?

352
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,825
(sighs) She's trying to force me
to care about eighth grade.

353
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,361
(chuckles)
I remember junior high.

354
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:49,963
I didn't do a lick of work.
(chuckles)

355
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,431
Me neither.

356
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,801
I did the work.
I want my bed back.

357
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,369
Oh, you did
your family tree assignment?

358
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,205
No, a different type
of work --

359
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,307
data collection,
statistical analysis.

360
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,143
I conducted a sociology study
to prove my theory.

361
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,145
Please describe
your eighth-grade experience.

362
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,147
Well, I skipped class
all the time.

363
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,916
I had a kid
who looks a lot like you

364
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,818
do all my schoolwork for me so
I could concentrate on football.

365
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,054
I missed
most of my eighth grade.

366
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,322
Was home sick with mono.

367
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,489
And what do you do now?

368
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,991
I'm a rich dentist.

369
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,426
I'm your mom's
business partner.

370
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,695
So what?
That doesn't prove anything.

371
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:23,897
It's just two people.

372
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,832
Two people
you know very well,

373
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,035
who are very successful members
of society.

374
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,170
Thank you for participating
in our informal survey.

375
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,905
(Marvin chuckles)

376
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:35,008
You will always have free
desserts at my establishment.

377
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,377
Hot dog! (laughs)
Cool!

378
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,112
Will you please
stop assuming

379
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,348
that Cattleman's
is going to go to you?

380
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,950
Yeah,
we're getting Cattleman's.

381
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:43,850
What?!

382
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,118
We heard you say so
yourself.

383
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,287
Oh, that was
just to scare Eddie.

384
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,056
I don't want any of you boys
to get Cattleman's.

385
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,123
I never have!

386
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,725
Oh. I see.

387
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,627
So, Cattleman's
is a good-enough excuse

388
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,064
for you to get out of
Thanksgiving with your family

389
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,798
but not good enough
for your boys.

390
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,233
No. Louis!

391
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,534
Louis, wait!

392
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,970
GRANDMA: Come on!

393
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,747
Garfield! Garfield!

394
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:15,915
Garfield! Garfield!

395
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,991
Pecan -- your favorite.

396
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,758
Remember this when you take over
the restaurant.

397
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:26,994
I'm allergic to nuts.

398
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,929
I just saved your life.

399
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,165
Remember that when you take over
the restaurant.

400
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,800
You guys are
wasting your time.

401
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,635
None of my boys
are taking over.

402
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,405
Yes!

403
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,307
Now I don't have to learn
either of their names.

404
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,645
Louis. We have to
raffle off the turkey.

405
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,846
Oh,
while we're at it,

406
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,848
why don't we just raffle off
the whole restaurant?

407
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,450
Because we already bought
the turkey.

408
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,718
What's that?

409
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,155
The dupe.

410
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,156
What?

411
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,524
The winning ticket.

412
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,127
Did you rig this?

413
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,361
You're welcome.

414
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,130
Now we get
all the raffle money,

415
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,998
and we can return
the prize turkey.

416
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,333
Happy Thankskeeping.

417
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,701
Of course you'd bring corruption
into these halls.

418
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,271
You have no regard
for the sanctity of Cattleman's!

419
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,773
This day's a celebration
of people who made a living

420
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,008
by swindling the natives.

421
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,577
I am so Thanksgiving.

422
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,213
Hello, Pilgrims!

423
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,614
Gobble, gobble!

424
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,117
Hope you all saved room...
for the big raffle. (chuckles)

425
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,186
Time to find out
who has that winning ticket!

426
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,654
Oh, I hope it's me.

427
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,057
(both laugh)

428
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,725
Actually, that's a good reminder
that everyone is eligible.

429
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,327
Okay, here we go.

430
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:45,672
54712.

431
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,744
54712?

432
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,213
(snores)

433
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:59,419
5...4...7...1...

434
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,720
2!
(feedback)

435
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,921
54712!

436
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,023
Well, no one's claiming that,
so it looks like

437
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,858
we're gonna have to
draw another number.

438
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,394
(chuckling) Oh.

439
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,265
Oh, come on.
I got to feed my snake.

440
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:15,335
33988.

441
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,837
(gasps)
That's me! I won!

442
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,873
(chuckles)
Winner, winner, turkey dinner!

443
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,275
Happy Thanksgiving,
everyone.

444
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:23,543
Oh, I knew
I was gonna win.

445
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,412
I heard two Phil Collins songs
on the radio this morning

446
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,379
in a row.

447
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,281
Best Thanksgiving alone ever.

448
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,782
Uh, okay.

449
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,818
Uh, and here's
your prize now.

450
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:34,921
What's that?

451
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,189
Your prize.

452
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,590
I thought it was supposed to be
a fresh turkey.

453
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,592
Right. Well,
this is as fresh as it gets.

454
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,027
I can't put that thing
in my LeBaron.

455
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,062
It could peck my head
while I'm driving home.

456
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,598
Well, if you don't want it, I
can always draw another number.

457
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,400
Or the same number
I drew before.

458
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,368
No, I want it.

459
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,936
It's just
that a fresh turkey

460
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,139
means prepped and dressed --
as in oven-ready,

461
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,506
as in dead.

462
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,878
Aah!
It came at me!
(gobbles)

463
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,148
How did my mother do this
three times a week?

464
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,150
Maybe you can kill it
from the inside

465
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,818
by crushing its dreams
with your unsupportive words.

466
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:06,819
(cleaver clanks)

467
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,655
Okay.
Why are you so upset?

468
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,223
We have always been
on the same page

469
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,425
about building up the restaurant
and then selling it.

470
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,927
I know, but that was before
the boys showed interest.

471
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,264
I like the idea
of handing something I created

472
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,165
down to my sons.

473
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,266
Is that so bad?

474
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,633
They're kids.

475
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,435
They don't know
what they want.

476
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,771
This week, Eddie wants
to inherit the restaurant

477
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,740
because it's convenient
for his school protest.

478
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,142
Last week, he wanted --

479
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,278
He wanted to invent underwear
made out of bubble wrap --

480
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,079
right after he took
a hard fall off that bench.

481
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,347
Exactly.

482
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:38,017
Louis, this place is the reason
our boys are going to have

483
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,753
the opportunity
to pursue their dreams --

484
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,422
dreams they'll appreciate

485
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,158
because they'll work hard
for them, the way you did.

486
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:48,328
Doctor, president,
lawyer --

487
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,298
whatever non-teaching jobs
they want.

488
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,667
So, it's not
that you think this place

489
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,269
isn't good enough for them?

490
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,437
(chuckling) Oh.

491
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,440
Oh, Louis, of course
I don't think this place

492
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,041
is good enough for them,

493
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,944
but it's not because I look down
on Cattleman's.

494
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:09,216
It's just because I have
ridiculously high hopes

495
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,383
for our boys.

496
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,488
And that's all possible because
of what you accomplished.

497
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,061
(gobbling)

498
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,196
(snoring)

499
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,864
That's my number!
I won!

500
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,699
You can have
your bed back.

501
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,335
What? I can?

502
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,536
Where'd you hide it?

503
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,003
It was in Grandma's room.

504
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,572
You know, you really should
visit her more often.

505
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,241
She's an interesting lady.

506
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,216
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

507
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,351
Wait.

508
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,553
I didn't say
I'd try hard in school again.

509
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,221
Why are you giving me
my bed back?

510
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,422
What can I say?

511
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:52,592
I guess this holiday
just has me in a giving mood.

512
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,728
In fact, all meals are
on the house today!

513
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,397
Happy Thanksgiving!

514
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,865
(cheering)

515
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,199
What are you doing?!

516
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,935
You just gave away your entire
Thanksgiving profits!

517
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,238
And I won't stop there.

518
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,539
That's right.

519
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:10,076
I'll drive your father's dream
straight into the ground

520
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:12,612
if it motivates you
to get A's again.

521
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:16,182
Ohh. You thought I just had a
little holiday change of heart?

522
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,550
No.

523
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,552
Your mom's just...

524
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:20,887
a little crazy.

525
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,457
Loco.

526
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,203
So, it started with N.W.A.

527
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,572
Then Eazy-E and Ruthless Records
branched off

528
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,208
with B.G. Knocc Out, Dresta,
and The D.O.C.

529
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,544
MC Ren and DJ Yella's lines
don't go anywhere,

530
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,946
and I'm not sure
who this Arabian Prince guy is.

531
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,549
Now, Dr. Dre and Ice Cube
are a different story.

532
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,218
Cube formed the whole
Lench Mob crew family --

533
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,921
Da Lench Mob,
Del the Funky Homosapien --

534
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,624
Ice Cube's cousin and a member
of the Hieroglyphics --

535
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,826
Dub C and Mack 10
of Westside Connection,

536
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:00,993
and DJ Pooh.

537
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,829
Heh. Pooh.

538
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,131
Now, Dre gave birth
to 213's Snoop Dogg,

539
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,767
which led to The Lady of Rage,
Tha Dogg Pound --

540
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,103
Daz and Kurupt --
Warren G, Dr. Dre's stepbrother,

541
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,507
and Nate Dogg, who is
in no relation to Snoop Dogg,

542
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,476
but he's like
everyone's adopted brother

543
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,244
because they can't
sing a refrain without him.

544
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,347
There's so many Doggs.

545
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,082
And that's it.
That's my family tree.

546
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,250
(sighs)

547
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,952
Ah, good enough.

548
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:34,126
-- Captions by VITA --