1 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,743 WELL, THURSDAYS ARE OPEN HOUSE DAY, 2 00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:08,051 AND ON FRIDAYS, WE DO HAPPY HOUR AFTER WORK. 3 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:11,098 DO WE GET PAID FOR THAT?[ LAUGHS ] NO! 4 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,665 IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET TO KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS BETTER. 5 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,928 MM. PASS.[ SIGHS ] 6 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:19,889 THATIS WHY I HIRED YOU. YOU ARE ALWAYS NEGOTIATING. 7 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:22,674 AND NOW WE CAN BE A TEAM INSTEAD OF COMPETITORS. 8 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:25,982 OH, LIKE THOSE CHIPMUNKS. I AM ALVIN. 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,679 OKAY. 10 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,334 HERE IS THE FIRST PROPERTY I NEED YOU TO SELL. 11 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,206 A CONDO?[ VACUUM WHIRRING ] 12 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,557 ASHLEY, GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD. I CAN SELL ANYTHING. 13 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,257 WELL, IF YOU WANT A CHALLENGE -- THE ALLEN HOUSE. 14 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,738 [ WHISTLES ] THE ALLEN HOUSE? 15 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:46,002 NO ONE EVER GOES IN. NO ONE EVER COMES OUT. 16 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,570 WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE IF NO ONE EVER GOES IN. 17 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,659 [ WHIRRING CONTINUES ] 18 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:53,357 WE'VE HAD THE ALLEN HOUSE ON THE MARKET FOR YEARS, 19 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,011 AND NOBODY'S BEEN ABLE TO SELL IT. 20 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,491 IT HAS A RODENT PROBLEM. 21 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,753 IT'S PET-FRIENDLY. 22 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,668 THE ROOF HAS A HOLE.SKYLIGHT. 23 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,452 THERE WAS A BRUTAL MURDER THERE. 24 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:04,194 SO STATISTICALLY, ANOTHER MURDER IS UNLIKELY. 25 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,804 OKAY, GREAT. 26 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,241 [ PAPERS RUSTLE ] 27 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,329 HERE YOU GO. 28 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,940 THE ADDRESS IS 44 WEST 44th STREET. 29 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,985 AW, HELL,NO![ THUD ] 30 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,900 W-WHAT'S WRONG? 31 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,946 WELL, IN THE CHINESE CULTURE, THE NUMBER 4 IS BAD LUCK. 32 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,513 ON ACCOUNT IT'S PRONOUNCED SI, 33 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,559 WHICH SOUNDS LIKE THE CHINESE WORD FOR "DEATH," Sî. 34 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:24,171 THE GARBAGE MAN IS RIGHT. 35 00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:27,913 PROMOTE HIM TO GARBAGE BOSS. 36 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:30,002 --Captions by VITAC-- 37 00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,178 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 38 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,049 ♪ I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO ♪ 39 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,225 ♪ IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW ♪ 40 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,574 ♪ FRESH OFF THE BOAT 41 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,142 ♪ HOMEY DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM ♪ 42 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:40,143 ♪ BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 43 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,319 ♪ I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 44 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:49,196 CAN YOU PLEASE COME IN HERE? 45 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:52,503 I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT FLIER. 46 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,940 Eddie: MY MOM WASN'T TRYING TO BE AROUND ANY BAD LUCK. 47 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,073 THAT'S WHY SHE BANNED ALL THE NUMBER 4s IN THE HOUSE. 48 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,293 WHAT TIME IS IT?[ SCRUBBING ] 49 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,817 QUARTER TO "h." 50 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,038 [ MAGAZINE THUDS ]IT'S JUST "FORBES" MAGAZINE. 51 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,605 IT'S TOO CLOSE. 52 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:10,434 YAY! I'M 3! 53 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,307 I'M SECOND 3![ NOISEMAKER TOOTS ] 54 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,746 [ PAPER CRUMPLES ] 55 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:21,010 FOURS AREN'T SO BAD. THERE'S FOUR NINJA TURTLES. 56 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,795 YOU MEAN THOSE KARATE FROGS WHO EAT PIZZA IN A SEWER? 57 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,406 THAT SEEMS BAD. 58 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,321 EMERY, DON'T EVEN TRY. 59 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,323 MOM IS CRAZY SUPERSTITIOUS. 60 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,542 YOU KNOW THAT STEVIE WONDER SONG "SUPERSTITION"? 61 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,328 SHE WON'T LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE SHE THINKS THAT'S WHAT MADE HIM BLIND. 62 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,330 I AM NOT CRAZY SUPERSTITIOUS. 63 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,288 YOU KNOW WHO'S CRAZY SUPERSTITIOUS? GRANDMA. 64 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,898 SHE WON'T FACE NORTH. 65 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:42,466 SHE THINKS JADE WARDS OFF EVIL SPIRITS. 66 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,338 AND HAVE YOU SEEN HER ROOM? 67 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:48,255 [ PAULA COLE'S "WHERE HAVE ALL THE COWBOYS GONE?" PLAYING ] 68 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,125 HMM. 69 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:54,870 [ SPEAKING MANDARIN ] 70 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,350 ♪♪♪ 71 00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,047 YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH GRANDMA. 72 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,354 EVERY GENERATION GETS LESS AND LESS SUPERSTITIOUS, 73 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,573 JUST LIKE HOW THEY GET LESS AND LESS RACIST. 74 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:06,447 WELL, ME AVOIDING THAT NUMBER HAS KEPT THIS FAMILY PROTECTED. 75 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:10,407 SURE, BUT DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR BOSS YOU CAN SELL ANYTHING? 76 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,714 YES, BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT MY ABILITY -- 77 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,846 BESIDES, THE EXTRA MONEY WOULDN'T HURT. 78 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,848 THE RESTAURANT'S BEEN A LITTLE SLOW LATELY, 79 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,460 SO I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING A MECHANICAL BULL 80 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:22,332 TO STEERIN THE CROWDS. 81 00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,162 DID YOU GET IT?YES. IT'S HILARIOUS. 82 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,512 I DON'T HAVE TO LAUGH TO THINK IT'S FUNNY. 83 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:31,123 OH, OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ][ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 84 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,821 WHO WANTS THE LATEST 2PAC? 85 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,518 DUBBED STRAIGHT FROM THE RADIO. 86 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,172 5 BUCKS MAKES IT HAPPEN. 87 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,478 I'LL GIVE YOU $3. 88 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,957 YO, IS THIS A FARMERS MARKET? 89 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,263 AM I SELLING SQUASH? 90 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,743 GET OUTTA HERE, HAGGLE-PUSS! 91 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,485 ARE YOU SELLING BOOTLEG CDs? 92 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,660 [ STUDENTS MURMURING ] 93 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,401 YOU KNOW I WAS.[ JEWEL CASE CLATTERS ] 94 00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:50,404 YOU DIDN'T LIE TO ME. I LIKE THAT. 95 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,449 EDDIE HUANG, RIGHT? 96 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,712 YOU'RE THAT NEW TEACHER WITH THE PONYTAIL. 97 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,759 RAY. YEAH, THEY -- THEY MAKE ME PUT IT BACK. 98 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,327 AND I'M NOT A TEACHER. I'M A COUNSELOR. 99 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,546 FRIENDSHIP IS MYCURRICULUM. 100 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,548 DOES THAT MEAN I'M NOT GONNA GET DETENTION? 101 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:08,422 EDDIE, I'M NOT ABOUT PUNISHMENT. 102 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,728 BUT I AM ABOUT YOU CHANNELING THAT HUSTLE 103 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,556 INTO SOMETHING MORE POSITIVE, 104 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,906 LIKE STUDENT COUNCIL. 105 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:18,997 YOU'LL GET ONE FREE PERIOD EVERY DAY. REALLY? 106 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,869 AND YOU'LL GET TO SHOW CELEBRITY VISITORS 107 00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:22,392 AROUND THE SCHOOL. 108 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,220 LIKE SHAQ. 109 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,352 WELL, I WAS GONNA SAY McGRUFF 110 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,137 OR THE HELPING HAND FROM HAMBURGER HELPER, 111 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,486 BUT IF SHAQ VISITS, 112 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,445 UH, SURE.[ GASPS ] 113 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,576 [ CHAIR THUDS ] 114 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,448 THINK ABOUT IT, EDDIE. 115 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,319 LOOK INTO YOUR THIRD EYE. 116 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,581 MY... 117 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,017 BUTTHOLE? 118 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,803 NO! NO. NO, NO. NO, NO. NO! NO! NO. 119 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,806 UH...IT'S LIKE AN INNER PEACE THING. 120 00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:48,244 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S COOL. JUST...FORGET IT. 121 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,771 THIS IS SOBIG. 122 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,469 HOW MANY BEDROOMS? 123 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:58,733 Jessica: [ in distance ] BETWEEN THREE AND FIVE! 124 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,039 Man: ARE YOU GOING TO COME INSIDE? 125 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,826 NO. I'M GOOD HERE! I DON'T WANT TO CROWD YOU. 126 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,393 OH, THANK YOU. 127 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,786 I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LAID-BACK ATTITUDE. 128 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,484 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 129 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:12,616 I HAVE TO GO YELL THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW. 130 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,357 DON'T GO INSIDE THAT HOUSE. 131 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,794 WE DON'T WANT THE BAD ENERGY TO GET ON US, 132 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,405 ESPECIALLY YOU, EDDIE. 133 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:23,410 DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE SPACIOUS WALK-IN CLOSETS! 134 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:26,064 SO ARE YOU REALLY GONNA RUN FOR CLASS PRESIDENT? 135 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:28,632 YEAH, MAN. SHAQ ANDA FREE PERIOD? 136 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:31,418 WHICH I'VE ALREADY STARTED CALLING "NAPS 101." 137 00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,594 [ LAUGHS ] NAPS 101! 138 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,987 LIKE DALMATIANS, BUT WITH NAPS! 139 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,511 [ LAUGHING ]I THINK YOU'VE GOT A GOOD SHOT. 140 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,382 YOU GOT AN EVERYMAN'S HUSKY BUILD 141 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,558 AND A MIDDLE CLASS BACKGROUND, SO PEOPLE CAN RELATE TO YOU. 142 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,647 MAN, PEOPLE DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT.[ CONTINUES LAUGHING ] 143 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,562 ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS A COOL SLOGAN. 144 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,564 AND IGOT A DOPE ONE. 145 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:50,306 OH, GOD! NAPS 101! 146 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,743 OH, MAN, YOU KILLED ME WITH THAT, EDDIE. 147 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:56,268 I'M STARTING TO THINK ABOUT IT. HERE I GO AGAIN! 148 00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:59,054 [ LAUGHING ] 149 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,579 "THIS HOO-WANGCAN MAKE IT RIGHT"? 150 00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:03,841 IT'S PRONOUNCED WONG. 151 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:06,670 AND IT'S A PLAY ON "WRONG." 152 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,455 ALL DAYWITH THIS. 153 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,239 Dave: COOL. CHOCOLATE DREIDELS. 154 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,676 PHILLIP GOLDSTEIN FOR PRESIDENT! 155 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,417 CHOOSE THE CHOSEN ONE! 156 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,419 PLAY A FREE GAME OF "STREET FIGHTER" 157 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:17,768 AND VOTE FOR BROCK. 158 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:20,467 DON'T LEAVE YOUR BALLOT BLANKA. 159 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,772 VOTE FOR TRENT![ STUDENTS GASP AND MURMUR ] 160 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,600 Boy: SCOTTIE PIPPEN?! 161 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,429 MY DAD IS HIS ACCOUNTANT. 162 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,213 WHO WANTS A FREE PAIR OF AIRS? 163 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:31,086 AIR JORDANS?NO, MAN. 164 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:32,914 I GOT SOMETHING EVEN BETTER. 165 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,657 AIR PIPPENS. 166 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,572 ANDREW WANTS THOSE. 167 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,704 WHAT?! I DO NOT! 168 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,710 MOM, I DON'T WANNA EAT! EATING IS LAME! 169 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:50,497 SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A BIG APPETITE FOR FUN! 170 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,499 Louis: FINNEGAN. WHICH IS WHY HERE... 171 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,457 [ WHIP CRACKS ] AT THE GOLDEN SADDLE, 172 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,677 WE JUST OPENED UP OUR KIDS CORRAL! 173 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,156 Louis: I HATE THIS GUY. 174 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,508 [ WHIP CRACKS ] WE HAVE ALL THE LATEST GAMES, 175 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,814 LIKE... 176 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,164 [ WHIP CRACKS ] AND... 177 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,515 [ LAUGHS ]OH, WATER SQUIRT. 178 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,692 SO BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY DOWN TO THE GOLDEN SADDLE. 179 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,129 [ WHIP CRACKS ] 'CAUSE JUST LIKE THE FOOD, 180 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:17,088 THE FUN IS WELL DONE. 181 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,438 [ WHIP CRACKS ] 182 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:23,747 GOD, THE BUDGET ON THIS THING MUST'VE BEEN INSANE.[ DOOR OPENS ] 183 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,835 LOUIS? 184 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,707 [ DOOR CLOSES ]I SOLD IT. 185 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,535 I SOLD THE ALLEN HOUSE! 186 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:31,276 [ SQUEALS ]CONGRATULATIONS! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! 187 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,061 [ LAUGHS ]ASHLEY ALEXANDER BOUGHT ME 188 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,628 A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE TO CELEBRATE. 189 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,499 MMM.I TOOK IT BACK TO THE LIQUOR STORE, 190 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,153 BOUGHT NINE SNICKERS AND A CRYSTAL PEPSI. 191 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,763 OH. 192 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,635 I'M SEEING YOU THROUGH A PEPSI. 193 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,506 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 194 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,160 WHAT A DAY! 195 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,118 I TOLD YOU THERE WAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 196 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,946 I ALREADY GOT MY COMMISSION CHECK. 197 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,731 GREAT. WE CAN GET THAT MECHANICAL BULL ASAP 198 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,559 AND CRUSHTHE KID CORRAL. 199 00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,562 I'M GONNA TREAT MYSELF TO A PEDICURE DONE BY A WHITE LADY. 200 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,564 OH.THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT. 201 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,956 MM. 202 00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,743 [ Whispers ] OH, NO. OH, MY GOD. 203 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,135 I KNOW. TAXES, RIGHT? 204 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,442 NO. LOOK AT THIS CHECK NUMBER. 205 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,665 NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T -- DON'T LOOK AT THAT CHECK NUMBER. 206 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,101 LOOK AT ALL THE OTHER NUMBERS. 207 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,798 NO.LOOK AT THE ONES AFTER THE DOLLAR SIGN. 208 00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,800 THE BAD LUCK FOLLOWED ME![ SIGHS ] 209 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,585 LOUIS, WE CAN'T KEEP THIS MONEY. 210 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,238 YES, WE CAN. WE TOTALLY CAN. 211 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,979 NO, WE CAN'T! IT'S TAINTED![ SIGHS ] 212 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:26,201 IF WE KEEP THIS, SOMETHING BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN TO OUR FAMILY. 213 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,029 PLEASE. WE NEED TO GET RID OF THIS. 214 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,639 [ SIGHS ] 215 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,162 OKAY. 216 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,861 IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE, I'LL SUPPORT YOU. 217 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:38,126 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] THIS IS FOR THE BEST. 218 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,431 MM-HMM.[ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 219 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:40,737 FOR THE BEST.[ PAPER RIPS ] 220 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:44,524 HELLO. I'D LIKE TO CASH THIS CHECK, PLEASE. 221 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,571 OH. IS THIS YOUR GRANDSON? 222 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,355 GRANDDAUGHTER.[ THUD ] 223 00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,575 I'M SORRY, SIR. MA'AM. 224 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,577 [ MUZAK PLAYING ] 225 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,580 HELLO. I'D LIKE TO CASH THIS CHECK, PLEASE... 226 00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,061 MA'AM? 227 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,410 MA'AM. [ CHUCKLES ] 228 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,591 EVERYONE, 229 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,768 MEET...ROMEO. 230 00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:14,815 I WISH I COULD. RIGHT, GIRLS? 231 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:19,036 [ SCOFFS ] YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ON, VANESSA.CHECK THIS OUT. 232 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,301 [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 233 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,652 [ Deep, ominous voice ] MOO. 234 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:28,742 UH, THAT'S KINDA SCARY.DON'T BE SILLY. 235 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,266 THIS IS HOW WE'RE GONNA COMPETE WITH GOLDEN SADDLE'S KID CORRAL. 236 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:35,618 THEY MAY HAVE WATER SQUIRT, BUT WE HAVE 8 SECONDS OF GLORY. 237 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:38,882 I HAD 8 SECONDS OF GLORY LAST NIGHT. RIGHT, GIRLS? 238 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:41,885 IT'S THE MORNING, VANESSA. PLEASE, JUST STOP IT. 239 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,495 OH. HEY, LOUIS? 240 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,107 YOUR FAMILY'S HERE. WHAT? WE GOTTA HIDE ROMEO. 241 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,718 QUICK, COVER HIM UP AND DON'T MENTION HIM TO JESSICA. 242 00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,677 Mitch: ALL RIGHT. UM, HERE, GET THAT TABLECLOTH. 243 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,853 SHE DOESN'T KNOW? BUT SHE COMES IN ALL THE TIME. 244 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,681 WHAT IS YOUR LONG-TERM PLAN? 245 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,726 WELL, WHAT'S YOURLONG-TERM PLAN, NANCY?! 246 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,859 YOU KNOW I WANNA HIRE A DETECTIVE TO FIND MY REAL MOTHER! 247 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,469 I... [ CHUCKLES ][ DOOR OPENS ] 248 00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,340 HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? 249 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,125 WELL, I HAVE THREE OPEN HOUSES TODAY, 250 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,431 SO I WAS HOPING YOU COULD LOOK AFTER THE BOYS THIS AFTERNOON. 251 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:09,217 ABSOLUTELY. NO PROBLEM. 252 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,088 THANK YOU FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING 253 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,700 ABOUT THAT COMMISSION CHECK.AW. 254 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,702 TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR FAVORITE PORK BONE STEW. 255 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,529 I WISH I --DON'T. 256 00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,793 WHATEVER YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY, I'M SURE IT'S HILARIOUS. 257 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:23,448 [ CHUCKLES ] 258 00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,015 SO PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE YOUR SLOGAN? 259 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,713 THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU STILL CAN'T WIN. 260 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,845 I'M UP AGAINST "STREET FIGHTER" AND CHOCOLATE TOPS. 261 00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:31,848 I'LL BE LUCKY IF I EVEN BEAT THE SCOTTIE PIPPEN KID. 262 00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:35,112 EVAN, DO YOU NEED TO GO PEE? 263 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,071 NO. 264 00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,290 YES, BUT PEEING IS SO BORING, 265 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,075 AND I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING. 266 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,554 NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN. 267 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:43,860 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 268 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,950 BOOMIN' ONION, MR. PRESIDENT? 269 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,952 DAD, THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA WIN. 270 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,346 WELL, WIN OR LOSE, WE'RE PUTTING IT ON YOUR COLLEGE APPLICATION 271 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:52,913 BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING. 272 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:56,656 IT'S JUST "WAS BORN, LIKES LUNCH, RAN FOR PRESIDENT." 273 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:01,922 DO YOU THINK IT'D BE GROSS TO DIP THIS IN CLAM CHOWDER? 274 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,272 I'M-A FIND OUT. 275 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,274 UHH! [ GROANS ] MOO. 276 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,756 I TAKE A BORING PEE-PEE AND I MISS EVERYTHING! 277 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:13,498 THIS IS GRANDMA FALLING OUT OF HER WHEELCHAIR ALL OVER AGAIN! 278 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,762 WHAT ARE YOUCOMPLAINING ABOUT? I'M THE ONE WHO BROKE MY ARM. 279 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,546 I'M NEVER MISSING ANYTHING AGAIN! 280 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,853 EVAN, SEE HOW LONG YOU CAN COVER YOUR EARS. 281 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,376 OKAY! 282 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,726 HEY, BOYS, WE CAN'T LET MOM KNOW 283 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,554 EDDIE TRIPPED OVER THE CORD OF THE MECHANICAL BULL 284 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,860 AND BROKE HIS ARM. 285 00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,296 I DIDN'T TELL HER I BOUGHT IT, 286 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,993 AND IF SHE FINDS OUT, SHE'LL BE VERY UPSET. 287 00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:30,994 BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER? 288 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,866 BECAUSE SHE'S CRAZY SUPERSTITIOUS. 289 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,955 SHE'S GONNA THINK THIS IS RELATED TO THE ALLEN HOUSE, 290 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:35,956 WHICH IT'S NOT. 291 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,914 SO...YOU'RE TELLING US TO LIE. 292 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,787 WELL, SOMETIMES A LITTLE WHITE LIE IS OKAY, 293 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,876 IF IT'S FOR A GREATER GOOD. 294 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,355 FOR EXAMPLE, YOUR MOM HAS THOSE JEANS 295 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:46,357 WITH THE ZIPPER THAT'S 6 INCHES LONG. 296 00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,969 DO I TELL HER IT LOOKS LIKE HER BODY'S HALF CROTCH? 297 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,798 NO. I SAY, BEAUTIFUL BLUE JEANS, HONEY." 298 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:55,105 THE TRUTH WOULD BE UNNECESSARY AND HURTFUL. 299 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,803 WE JUST PASSED THE CORNER 300 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,936 WHERE MY FRIEND J.J. ALMOST GOT INTO THAT GUY'S VAN. 301 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,505 AND THEN HE TRIPPED ON A RUG AND FELL. 302 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,856 YEAH, A LITTLE WHITERUG. 303 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,902 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] EMERY, GO TO YOUR ROOM. 304 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,425 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 305 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,775 WELL, YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ONLY BROKE YOUR LEFT ARM. 306 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,560 YOU CAN STILL DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 307 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:16,823 IMAGINE WHAT HE WOULD HAVE BROKEN 308 00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,825 IF WE HAD CASHED THAT CHECK. 309 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,827 HIS HEAD!HMM. 310 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,480 I'LL GO GET SOME WHITE FLOWER OIL. 311 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,787 SPEED UP THE HEALING PROCESS. 312 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,921 BEAUTIFUL BLUE JEANS, MOM! 313 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,923 OH! NICE TOUCH, EDDIE. 314 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,838 SEE? A LITTLE WHITE LIE NEVER HURT ANYONE. 315 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,929 SO WE ALL ATE CHOCOLATE DREIDELS 316 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,061 WHILE PHILLIP CLEARED UP HIS STANCE ON SANTA. 317 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,889 HE'S FORHIM. 318 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,499 HMM. 319 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:42,892 HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM? 320 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,939 I TRIPPED ON A RUG.HUH. 321 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:49,029 ANYWAY, SO I WAS SO AMPED UP ON CHOCOLATE 322 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,421 THAT I RAN THROUGH SCOTTIE PIPPEN'S LEGS, 323 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:51,683 LIKE, FIVE TIMES. 324 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,294 I'M DEFINITELY VOTING FOR TRENT. 325 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,686 ♪ YEAH 326 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,688 IT'S JUST, WHEN YOU THROW SO MANY PUNCHES, 327 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,299 IT'S EASY TO LOSE YOUR BALANCE. 328 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,170 WHOA.WAIT. WHAT HAPPENED? 329 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,042 WELL... 330 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,305 WHEN I CAME TO, FIVE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS 331 00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,176 WERE TRYING TO STEAL OUR "STREET FIGHTER" MACHINE.[ STUDENTS MURMUR ] 332 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,482 THEN WHAT HAPPENED? 333 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,527 WELL, WHEN I CAME TO AGAIN, 334 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:12,879 THEY WERE GIVING OUR MASCOT LOGGY AN INDIAN BURN! 335 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,490 [ STUDENTS MURMUR ]WHICH IS ESPECIALLY BAD FOR A LOG. 336 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:16,752 THEN WHAT HAPPENED? 337 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,101 WHEN OUR "STREET FIGHTER" GAME 338 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,321 ANDLOGGY'S HONOR ARE ON THE LINE, 339 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:23,411 I GOT NO PROBLEM TAKING ON 16 KIDS.[ STUDENTS MURMURING ] 340 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,849 THAT'S WHEN I PULLED OUT MY DAD'S MACHETE... 341 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,199 IT GRAZED MY ARM, BUT I RECOVERED. 342 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:32,768 'CAUSE I'M EDDIE HUANG, AND I'M YOURSTREET FIGHTER! 343 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,945 [ CHEERING ] 344 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,430 [ CLICK ] 345 00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,867 [ DE LA SOUL'S "ME MYSELF AND I" PLAYING ] 346 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,347 ♪ IT'S JUST ME, MYSELF, AND I 347 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:49,002 ♪♪♪ 348 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,351 ♪ IT'S JUST ME, MYSELF, AND I 349 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:53,136 ♪♪♪ 350 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,964 ♪ IT'S JUST ME, MYSELF -- [ CLICK, MUSIC STOPS ] 351 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,010 HAIL TO THE CHIEF, Y'ALL. 352 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,751 SAY HELLO TO THE NEW SIXTH GRADE PRESIDENT. 353 00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:02,929 I'M THE ABE LINCOLN OF ABE LINCOLN MIDDLE SCHOOL! 354 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:03,930 OH![ LAUGHS ] 355 00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:06,106 [ CHEERING ] 356 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:09,152 LOOKS LIKE OUR GOOD LUCK CONTINUES. 357 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,458 SURE DOES. [ CHUCKLES ] 358 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,895 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 359 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,157 CAN I HELP YOU? 360 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,029 MRS. PARKER FROM CHILD SERVICES. 361 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:20,120 I'M HERE TO INVESTIGATE POSSIBLE PARENTAL NEGLECT IN THE HOME. 362 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,599 OH, YOU WANT THAT KID DOWN THE STREET -- DAVE. 363 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,558 HE ALWAYS HAS A KOOL-AID MUSTACHE. 364 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,386 NOBODY'S WIPING HIS FACE. 365 00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:28,258 WE'RE CONCERNED ABOUT AN INJURY YOUR SON SUSTAINED. 366 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,695 A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE DIDN'T BELIEVE EDDIE'S STORY 367 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:34,003 ABOUT HOW HE BROKE HIS ARM, AND IT RAISED A RED FLAG. 368 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,266 SORRY I'M LATE. 369 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,355 THE SUN WAS PEEKING THROUGH THE CLOUDS, 370 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:40,531 AND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, I HAD TO STOP. 371 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,843 I'M SORRY. 372 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,976 I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY CHILD SERVICES WAS CALLED. 373 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:53,283 BEFORE WE GET INTO IT, I JUST WANNA SAY THAT THIS... 374 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,806 IS A SAFE ZONE. 375 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,547 AND THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT... 376 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,985 THE SHARE CLAM. 377 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,377 IF I PASS IT TO YOU, 378 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,640 SHARE HOW YOU'RE FEELING. 379 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,381 WE'RE HEARING CONFLICTING REPORTS 380 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,079 ABOUT HOW EDDIE BROKE HIS ARM. 381 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,732 FIRST, HE SAID HE TRIPPED. 382 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:10,518 THEN HE GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A BUNCH OF KIDS. 383 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:13,042 THEN HE HAD HIS DAD'S MACHETE. 384 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,783 Louis: MACHETE? I DON'T HAVE A MACHETE. 385 00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,393 THAT'S A JUNGLE WEAPON. 386 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,961 EDDIE, WHY ARE YOU MAKING UP ALL THESE CRAZY STORIES? 387 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,616 WELL, DAD SAID IT WAS OKAY TO TELL A LIE 388 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,531 IF IT WAS FOR GOOD. 389 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,185 IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD WIN THE ELECTION. 390 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,187 I SAID A LITTLE WHITE LIE, NOT THIS. 391 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,971 NOW TELL THESE NICE PEOPLE THE TRUTH 392 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,104 ABOUT HOW YOU BROKE YOUR ARM. 393 00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:34,455 EDDIE. 394 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:37,066 YOU WERE AT CATTLEMAN'S AND YOU TRIPPED... 395 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,589 ON THE CORD TO THE NEW MECHANICAL BULL. 396 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,200 [ Lowered voice ] NO, I MEANT THE OTHERTRUTH. 397 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,115 THE RUG TRUTH.BUT THAT'S A LIE, TOO. 398 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,768 YOU'RE KILLING ME, MAN! 399 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,248 WHAT MECHANICAL BULL? 400 00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:46,249 DAD DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT. 401 00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,164 LOUIS! 402 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,689 OKAY, CLEARLY, THIS HAS BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING... 403 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,909 ONE OF FIVE THIS MONTH, RAY. 404 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,216 SOMETIMES A KID THROWS UP. 405 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,783 IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE GETTING POISONED. 406 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:02,222 TWICE, THOUGH? TWOTHROW-UPS? NO WAY. 407 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,006 WAIT A MINUTE. 408 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,182 WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY TO BUY A MECHANICAL BULL? 409 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:09,925 [ TOILET FLUSHES, DOOR OPENS ] 410 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,927 WHO ARE THESEPEOPLE? 411 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,711 WHAT...ON EARTH... 412 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,061 DID I MISS? 413 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,022 OKAY, SO I GROUNDED EDDIE, 414 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,720 TOLD HIM IT WASN'T OKAY TO LIE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. 415 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:25,288 WELL, WHO'S GONNA GROUND YOU, LOUIS?[ SIGHS ] 416 00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,290 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM IT WAS OKAY TO LIE. 417 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,031 FOR A GOOD REASON -- TO HELP THE RESTAURANT, 418 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,032 WHICH HELPS OUR FAMILY. 419 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,860 IT WAS CRAZY TO RIP UP THAT CHECK 420 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,296 JUST BECAUSE IT HAD 4s ON IT. 421 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,298 OH, IT WAS CRAZY, HUH? 422 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,387 LOOK AT ALL THIS BAD LUCK WE'VE HAD SINCE YOUCASHED THAT CHECK! 423 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,260 TWO WOMAN DETECTIVES SHOW UP, WE'RE FIGHTING, 424 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,175 EDDIE BROKE HIS ARM! 425 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,046 THOSE ARE JUST RANDOM COINCIDENCES. 426 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,266 HIS FOREARM? I DON'T THINK SO. 427 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,268 [ SIGHS ] LOOK, JESSICA, 428 00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,921 SOMETIMES BAD THINGS JUST HAPPEN 429 00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,706 AND THERE'S NO EXPLANATION FOR IT. 430 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,708 [ SIGHS ] 431 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,318 OKAY, FINE. 432 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,233 IF YOU THINK SUPERSTITIONS ARE NONSENSE, 433 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,714 TAKE OFF YOUR JADE NECKLACE. 434 00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,803 MY NECKLACE? 435 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,197 BUT I'VE WORN THIS SINCE I WAS BORN. 436 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,850 IT'S LIKE A BIRTHMARK ON A CHAIN. 437 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,635 AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SUPERSTITION. 438 00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,246 WELL, THEN IT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM TO TAKE IT OFF. 439 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,336 OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ] I'LL TAKE IT OFF. 440 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,121 [ CHUCKLES ] 441 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,949 JUST A NECKLACE.MM-HMM. 442 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,864 NOT A BIG DEAL. 443 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,344 [ CHUCKLES ] 444 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,260 [ INHALES SHARPLY AND GULPS ] 445 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,741 [ TICKING LOUDLY ] [ Thinking ] WHY IS THAT SO LOUD? 446 00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:30,788 IT'S HOT IN HERE. WAIT. NOW IT'S COLD. 447 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,529 [ VOICE ECHOING ] 448 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:34,531 [ CRIES ] 449 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,142 WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? 450 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,797 [ GROWLING ] WHY AM I SO... 451 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,582 [ GRUNTS, INHALES SHARPLY ] 452 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,236 [ EXHALES DEEPLY, CHUCKLES ] 453 00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,760 [ HISSES ] G-G-G-GIVE ME MY JADE! 454 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,675 GIVE ME MY JADE! OKAY. [ PANTING ]OKAY. 455 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,242 [ PANTING ] WHEW! 456 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,982 OH! [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 457 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,680 [ CONTINUES PANTING ] OKAY, FINE. 458 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:55,465 I GUESS SUPERSTITION IS REAL IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT. 459 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,947 I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY I TOLD EDDIE TO LIE. 460 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,166 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 461 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,732 I'LL GET RID OF THE BULL. 462 00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,778 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO A LOT MORE THAN THAT. 463 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:06,389 WE'VE INVITED BAD LUCK INTO OUR HOME. 464 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,262 IT'S ON US. IT'S ON THE KIDS. 465 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,960 [ SIGHS ] I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT. 466 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:15,181 I KNOW WHO DOES. 467 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:20,186 [ MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING ] 468 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,883 MOM, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 469 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,280 HUH?[ DOOR CLOSES ] 470 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:30,413 UH, SORRY, MOM. WE JUST REALLY NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU. 471 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,765 WE HAVE INVITED BAD LUCK INTO OUR HOME, 472 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:37,116 AND WE NEED YOU TO GET RID OF IT. 473 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,773 HOW DID YOU KNOW? 474 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,081 AH. 475 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,564 [ High-pitched voice ] "GIVE ME MY JADE! 476 00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:51,869 GIVE ME MY JADE!" 477 00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:55,221 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 478 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,613 HEY, EDDIE. 479 00:18:56,657 --> 00:19:00,574 ANY FALLOUT FROM THAT WHOLE EMOTIONAL JAM SESSION? 480 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,576 WHAT?HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 481 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:05,405 OH. WELL, MY PARENTS GROUNDED ME FOR LYING. 482 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,189 AT LEAST I'M STILL PRESIDENT. 483 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:10,845 AND I'M PSYCHED FOR THE FREE PERIOD. NAPS 101! 484 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,412 YEAH, ABOUT THAT -- 485 00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,240 APPARENTLY, THAT FREE PERIOD IS ACTUALLY 486 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:17,112 A "GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AND LICK ENVELOPES" PERIOD. 487 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,809 WHAT?BUDGET CUTS. 488 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,463 THEY NEED THE STUDENT BODY TO PITCH IN. 489 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:24,685 I THOUGHT THIS JOB WAS GONNA BE ALL ABOUT NAPS AND SHAQ. 490 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,557 MAYBE HE'D PLAYFULLY PUT ME ON HIS SHOULDERS, 491 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:30,212 OR LET ME STICK BOTH OF MY FEET INTO ONE OF HIS SHOES. 492 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,213 I DON'T KNOW. 493 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,649 YEAH, I'M SORRY, MAN. 494 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:35,478 I'M NEW HERE. APPARENTLY, THIS PLACE SUCKS. 495 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:39,134 I GUESS IT'S JUST OUR BAD LUCK. 496 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,832 [ Whispers ] BAD LUCK. 497 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,486 [ GRANDMA CHANTING IN MANDARIN ] 498 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,445 Eddie: SO GRANDMA WENT INTO THE ZODIAC BOOKS, 499 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,055 CALLED UP SOME AUNTIES, 500 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,797 AND PERFORMED A RITUAL TO TAKE AWAY OUR BAD LUCK. 501 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,581 [ Whispers ] IS THIS GONNA WORK? 502 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,888 [ Whispers ] SHH! LET HER CONCENTRATE! 503 00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:58,371 WOW. THESE PEOPLE HAVE SOME CRAZY TRADITIONS, RIGHT? 504 00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,589 BANANAS.[ CLATTER ] 505 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,374 OH! 506 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,289 [ SCOFFS ] RAINING SALT? 507 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,160 TOO BAD IT'S NOT RAINING MEN! 508 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,379 UGH! 509 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,294 RIGHT, GIRLS?[ INHALES SHARPLY ] 510 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:18,260 WHY'D YOU MAKE US BUY ALL THOSE GARFIELD MUGS FOR THE CEREMONY? 511 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,479 YOU DIDN'T EVEN USE THEM. 512 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:28,836 WELL, I'M GLAD WE ALL GOT THROUGH THAT AS A FAMILY. 513 00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,838 AND NOW WE CAN PUT THIS CHAPTER BEHIND -- 514 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:32,056 YOU ARE STILL GROUNDED. 515 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,754 [ SCOFFS ] YOU HARD, WOMAN! 516 00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:35,973 EDDIE, DON'T CALL YOUR MOTHER "WOMAN." 517 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,499 GARFIELD SHOULD HAVE A MUG THAT SAYS "NAPS 101." 518 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:40,891 [ GLASSES CLINK ][ GIGGLES ] 519 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,638 SO YOUR COMPANY'S SET UP IN DELAWARE, 520 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:51,293 BUT YOULIVE IN FLORIDA. 521 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,295 [ BALL BOUNCES ]THE TAX MAN CAN'T TOUCH YOU. 522 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:54,992 [ SIGHS ] THAT'S GREAT. 523 00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,778 YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A LOOPHOLE -- BREAKAWAY! 524 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,215 [ LAUGHS ] 525 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,174 I DID IT! I SCORED ON SCOTTIE PIPPEN. 526 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:06,221 [ LAUGHS ]I WAS GIVING YOU TAX ADVICE, BRO. 527 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,311 [ GRUNTS ] 528 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,226 IT'S NOT SHAQ'S SHOE, 529 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,967 BUT I GUESS IT'LL DO. 530 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:16,492 Y'ALL ARE A RUDE-ASS FAMILY.[ BALL BOUNCES ] 531 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,235 SCOTTIE? MR. PIPPEN! 532 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,891 MR. PIPPEN! MR. PIPPEN! 533 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,153 [ SIGHS ] 534 00:21:25,196 --> 00:21:27,329 I GOTTA STOP DRINKING WATER.