1 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,373 Eddie: FINDING YOUR WAY IN A NEW SCHOOL IS ALWAYS TOUGH, 2 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,308 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A CREW OF YOUR OWN. 3 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,410 DUDE, HOW GREAT IS SAILING? [ CHUCKLES ] 4 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,046 YO, I SAW PUFFY WEARING BOAT SHOES THE OTHER DAY. 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,681 HE LOOKED TIGHT. 6 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,817 BOAT SHOES ARE FUNCTIONAL FOOTWEAR WITH A PURPOSE. 7 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,186 OBVIOUSLY, YOU'VE NEVER 8 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,054 TRIED TO RAISE THE JIB ON WET TEAK. 9 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,822 [ SCOFFS ] [ LAUGHS ] 10 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,524 CULTURALLY, WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON, 11 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,359 WHICH IS WHY IT MEANT SO MUCH 12 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,895 WHEN I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE I COULD IDENTIFY WITH. 13 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,197 [ DING! ] 14 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,699 DID I TELL YOU MY DAD KNOWS L.L. BEAN? 15 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,101 LEROY LEROY BEAN. 16 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,535 Troy: I LOVE L.L. BEAN. 17 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,604 -- Captions by VITAC -- 18 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,106 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 19 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,707 * I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO * 20 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,775 * IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW * 21 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,377 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 22 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,713 * HOMEY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM * 23 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:46,914 * BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 24 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,950 * I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 25 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,386 BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. 26 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,654 LET'S ROLL THIS STORY BACK. 27 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,023 MOM, WAKE UP! 28 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,558 AAH! WHO DIED? WHO DIED? 29 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,726 WHAT? NO. OKAY... 30 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,494 I MADE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED. 31 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:03,631 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 32 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,733 OKAY, JUST HEAR ME OUT. 33 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,568 THERE'S A BEASTIE BOYS CONCERT THIS WEEKEND, AND I W-- 34 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,769 NO. 35 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,638 I AM NOT LETTING YOU GO TO A RAP CONCERT. 36 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,039 Louis: WHAT'S WRONG WITH A RAP CONCERT? 37 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,108 IT'S THE MUSIC OF THE TIME. SEE? 38 00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,609 SEE? DAD GETS IT! 39 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,978 OKAY, LOUIS, I KNOW YOU LIKE TO BE GOOD COP, 40 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,248 BUT SOMEBODY HAS TO WIELD THE HAMMER IN THIS FAMILY. 41 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,550 NO, THEY DON'T. WE COULD BOTH BE GOOD COPS. 42 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,418 LIKE THAT MOVIE "GOOD COPS." 43 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,555 THERE'S NO SUCH MOVIE. 44 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,957 YES, MOM, THEY'RE RAPPERS, 45 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,293 BUT THEY'RE WHITE RAPPERS. 46 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:33,661 White! 47 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,062 EDDIE, WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE, 48 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,165 AND THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS THE SAME. 49 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:40,033 BUT THEY'RE SORT OF ASIAN. NO! 50 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,870 BUT HE'S A DOCTOR. NO! 51 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,973 YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT THE YEAR OF THE DOG. 52 00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,107 THAT'S A STRETCH. 53 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,309 NO! 54 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,678 EDDIE, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU -- 55 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,280 THE MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO, 56 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,315 THE WAY YOU TALK, YOUR CLOTHES. 57 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:57,285 [ SIGHS ] WHY CAN'T YOU SUPPORT SOMETHING THAT I LIKE FOR ONCE? 58 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,520 WELL, WHY CAN'T YOU BE A GOOD CHINESE BOY 59 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,255 LIKE EVAN AND EMERY? 60 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,657 THEY BOTH STUDY HARD, PLAY VIOLIN, 61 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,326 WEAR BUTTON-UP SHIRTS PROPERLY, 62 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,195 NOT LIKE YOU, BUTTONING THE TOP BUTTON 63 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,330 AND LETTING THE REST FLAP OUT LIKE A CAPE. 64 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,998 THAT'S CALLED BEING A "G," MOM! 65 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,766 WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A LETTER 66 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,169 THAT'S ONLY WORTH TWO POINTS IN SCRABBLE?! 67 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:18,906 "Q" IS BETTER! 68 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:23,010 I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW WHY I GATHER YOU HERE. 69 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,612 MITCH HAS DECIDED 70 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,147 TO TAKE A LATERAL POSITION AT THE GOLDEN SADDLE. 71 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,483 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, HE NO LONGER EXISTS. 72 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,652 HAS ANYONE SEEN MY ASTRONAUT PEN? 73 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:32,953 NANCY? 74 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,822 I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SLEPT WITH YOU. 75 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:38,526 OKAY, WELL, IF ANYONE SEES MY PEN IN NANCY'S PURSE, 76 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,827 LET ME KNOW. 77 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:41,829 I... 78 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:42,963 I'M SORRY. I -- SHOULD I -- 79 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,198 D-DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MITCH. 80 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,566 DESPITE YOUR BETRAYAL, 81 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:46,734 YOU WERE HERE WHEN I OPENED THIS PLACE, 82 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,369 AND I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT. 83 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,371 THANKS. 84 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,707 IT'S TIME TO FORGET ABOUT MITCH. 85 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:56,076 I'M GOING TO START SETTING UP INTERVIEWS FOR A NEW HOST. 86 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,379 OH! I-I-I'D BE INTERESTED IN THE JOB. 87 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,381 COME ON. 88 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,549 [ CHUCKLES ] 89 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,850 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 90 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,985 WELL, EDDIE, I'M SURE YOU'RE WONDERING 91 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,387 WHY YOU'RE IN HERE TODAY. 92 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,356 IF THIS IS ABOUT THE CLAY SCULPTURE I MADE -- 93 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,358 NO, MRS. UVEDA HAS AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION. 94 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,092 THAT'S WHY SHE'S THE ART TEACHER. 95 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,594 I'VE CHOSEN YOU 96 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,996 TO BE A "FIRST DAY FRIEND" FOR A NEW STUDENT -- 97 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,899 SHOW THEM AROUND THE SCHOOL, TEACH THEM THE ROPES. 98 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,235 BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A FEW MONTHS. 99 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,870 MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME. 100 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,605 PLUS, I THINK YOU AND THE NEW STUDENT, PHILLIP, 101 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,240 MIGHT HAVE SOME THINGS IN COMMON. 102 00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,174 LIKE WHAT? 103 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,876 LET'S JUST SAY 104 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,412 I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE MUTUAL INTERESTS AND EXPERIENCES. 105 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,080 HE'S CHINESE, ISN'T HE? 106 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:33,914 WHAT? 107 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:34,915 NO. 108 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,216 IS HE? 109 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:39,253 [ Chuckling ] GOSH, I'M NOT SURE. 110 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,188 LET'S JUST -- LET'S... 111 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,222 [ INTERCOM BEEPS ] 112 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,291 SHAUNA? 113 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,092 COULD YOU SEND IN PHILLIP? 114 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,561 SHAUNA: Sure. Which one is he? There's a few kids out here. 115 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,963 UH... 116 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,365 YOU KNOW... 117 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,600 PHILLIP! 118 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,734 I'm gonna need more than that. 119 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,769 W-What does he look like? 120 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,871 WELL... 121 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,708 PHILLIP IS HERE TO MEET EDDIE HUANG. 122 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,543 HUANG. 123 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,878 Um, Principal Hunter, if you could be more specific, 124 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,381 I can get you what you need. 125 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,582 HERE'S AN IDEA -- 126 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:09,750 JUST SAY THE NAME PHILLIP, 127 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,619 AND WHOEVER STANDS UP, SEND HIM IN. 128 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,086 BECAUSE THAT'S PROBABLY PHILLIP. 129 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,726 I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HAPPIER. 130 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,462 THIS WAS THE FIRST CHINESE KID I'D MET SINCE MOVING FROM D.C. 131 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,631 FINALLY, I HAD A CREW. 132 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:24,632 YO, WHAT'S UP, PHILLIP? 133 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,999 I'M EDDIE. 134 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,234 IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, EDDIE. 135 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,337 COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND. 136 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,006 Was that Phillip? [ SIGHS ] 137 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,310 AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM, EITHER. 138 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,612 THE SIGN ON THE DOOR SAYS "LIBRARY." 139 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,647 HMM. 140 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:42,850 [ CHUCKLES ] 141 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,785 LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S GOT A TWIN. 142 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,187 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S OUTNUMBERED. 143 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,827 Eddie: ANYWAYS, I'VE BEEN RUNNING MY MOUTH FOR THIS WHOLE TIME. 144 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,195 WHERE'S YOUR FAMILY FROM? 145 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,296 HUNAN? 146 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,197 JERUSALEM. 147 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,968 I WAS ADOPTED BY JEWISH PARENTS. MY LAST NAME IS GOLDSTEIN. 148 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,836 OH, THAT'S COOL. 149 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,638 WE BOTH EAT CHINESE FOOD ON CHRISTMAS, 150 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,874 AND OUR PARENTS ARE SUPER PUSHY. 151 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,979 OKAY... 152 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,714 WHAT KIND OF STUFF ARE YOU INTO? 153 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,815 YOU LIKE THE BEASTIE BOYS? 154 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,350 I PREFER MUSICALS. 155 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,651 SHAQ? 156 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:18,652 TOLSTOY. 157 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:19,487 BLING? 158 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,654 INVESTMENTS. 159 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,289 "HANGIN' WITH MR. COOPER"? 160 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,525 CAN'T WATCH TV ON FRIDAYS BECAUSE OF SHABBAT -- 161 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,159 HANGIN' WITH GOD. 162 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,368 STINKY TOFU? 163 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,869 GEFILTE FISH. 164 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,705 STINKY TOFU SOUNDS REPULSIVE. 165 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,173 WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER, DO WE? 166 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,743 I FIND YOUR COMPANY UNDESIRABLE. 167 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,914 LOOK WHO'S BEST FRIENDS! 168 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,850 THIS IS GONNA GET MY EX-WIFE BACK FOR SURE. 169 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,853 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 170 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,063 AFTER SPENDING A DAY SHOWING PHILLIP AROUND, 171 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,498 I FIGURED MY TIME WAS DONE 172 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,933 AND THAT WOULD BE THAT, BUT I WAS WRONG. 173 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,668 PHILLIP, GO OVER THERE AND WORK WITH EDDIE. 174 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,603 I FEEL LIKE YOU TWO WILL HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY TOGETHER. 175 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,539 [ CHUCKLES ] 176 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:14,074 THE PUN GUN IS SET TO LAUGHS. 177 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,714 OKAY, PAIR UP WITH THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU FOR STRETCHES. 178 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,016 EDDIE, YOU PAIR UP WITH PHILLIP. 179 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,718 BUT HE'S NOT EVEN NEXT TO ME! 180 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,054 LUCKY FOR YOU, I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR BEST FRIENDS. 181 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,890 OKAY, LET'S OPEN UP THOSE HAMMIES! 182 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,559 I EVEN TOLD PRINCIPAL HUNTER 183 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,861 ABOUT THE WHOLE THING FEELING KIND OF RACIST. 184 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,263 IN RESPONSE TO COMPLAINTS OF RACISM, 185 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:39,633 I NOW COMMENCE THE FIRST MEETING OF THE... 186 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,268 PACIFIC RIM CLUB. 187 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,937 YOU NOW HAVE A SAFE HAVEN 188 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,373 TO CELEBRATE YOUR UNIQUE CULTURE. 189 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,742 I'M LEAVING YOU A BOX OF WATERCOLORS AND PARCHMENT 190 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,377 IF YOU CHOOSE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF 191 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,279 THROUGH MONUMENTAL LANDSCAPE PAINTING. 192 00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,453 MEAT IS MURDER! 193 00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:02,222 AGAIN, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU INTERVIEWED FOR THIS POSITION, 194 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,423 BUT THANK YOU. 195 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,058 WE'LL KEEP YOUR RéSUMé ON FILE! 196 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,259 [ DOOR OPENS ] 197 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,395 BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR. NAME'S WYATT. 198 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,998 [ DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS ] I NOTICED YOUR "HELP WANTED" SIGN. 199 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,666 POSITION STILL OPEN? 200 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,935 DEPENDS. YOU GOT ANY EXPERIENCE? 201 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,236 AH... 202 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,506 WELL, STARTIN' IN '89, 203 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:22,342 I SPENT TWO YEARS ON A CATTLE RANCH IN BIG SKY COUNTRY, 204 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,978 GETTIN' TO KNOW EVERY PART OF THESE DELICIOUS CREATURES. 205 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,148 AFTER THAT, I DID A FOUR-YEAR STINT MAîTRE D-IN' AT SPAY-GO. 206 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,152 AH, WHO AM I KIDDIN'? 207 00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,121 I'M SORRY FOR WASTIN' YOUR TIME, MISTER. 208 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,455 UH, WAIT! 209 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,426 YOU GOT THE JOB. [ CHUCKLES ] 210 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,761 [ CHUCKLES ] 211 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,930 WELL, GOLLY. 212 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,632 [ Laughing ] ALL RIGHT. 213 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,833 I... 214 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,467 DON'T HAVE A HAT. 215 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,106 THAT'S MY RIDE. LATER, NERD. 216 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,174 WHO IS THIS? 217 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,609 OH, HE'S NOBODY. LET'S -- 218 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,645 ANOTHER CHINESE BOY IN SCHOOL! 219 00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,013 HEY, COME ON! LET'S GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME. 220 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,382 IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE LATE BUS. 221 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,184 NONSENSE! EDDIE, GET IN THE BACK. 222 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,822 I APPRECIATE THE RIDE, MRS. HUANG. 223 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,659 GIVES ME MORE TIME TO FINISH MY HOMEWORK BEFORE MUSIC LESSONS. 224 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,027 OH, WHAT INSTRUMENT DO YOU PLAY? 225 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:14,995 CELLO. 226 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,463 ORCHESTRAL? SOLO. 227 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,831 PRACTICE? DAILY. 228 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:18,999 HOW MUCH? 229 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,534 FIVE TIMES PERFECT IN A ROW. 230 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,836 IF I MAKE A MISTAKE ON THE FIFTH TIME, I START OVER. 231 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,373 YES! 232 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,043 [ SIGHS ] ARRANGED THE TABLES, SIR. 233 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,012 AH. NOTICED A COUPLE WOBBLERS OVER THERE, 234 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,480 SO I BALANCED 'EM OUT WITH SOME SCRAP WOOD. 235 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,848 AND ALSO, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, 236 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,383 I EDITED THE STICKER IN THE WINDOW 237 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:39,720 TO MAKE IT SAY "NO BOOTS, NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE." 238 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:42,155 OH, UH, I WAS LOOKING AT THE MENUS, 239 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,825 AND I NOTICED YOU MOVED THE "DAILY SPECIALS" INSERT? 240 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,526 YES, SIR. MADE IT BETTER. 241 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,028 I RECKON HAVING THE SPECIALS ON THE LEFT 242 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,230 MAKES IT THE FIRST THING A CUSTOMER SEES. 243 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,866 OH. LITTLE TRICK I LEARNED AT THE CUATRO SEASONS IN CABO. 244 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,101 THIS WAS A MESS BEFORE. 245 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,403 [ LAUGHS ] IT'S -- IT'S GREAT. 246 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,371 OH, WELCOME TO CATTLEMAN'S RANCH. 247 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,207 WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. 248 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,910 OH. [ LAUGHS ] THANK YOU! [ CHUCKLES ] THIS WAY. 249 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,779 AND ALLOW ME. 250 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,347 [ GASPS ] 251 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,382 OOH! 252 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,350 MA'AM. 253 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,052 WOW. 254 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:15,689 AND THESE SPECIALS LOOK SO GOOD! 255 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,090 HMM. 256 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,530 EDDIE, WILL YOU SIGN THIS PETITION? 257 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,365 MR. HEDGEHOG IS RUNNING FOR MAYOR. 258 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,635 EVAN AND I ARE LEARNING ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT 259 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,769 IN SCHOOL THIS WEEK. 260 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,437 YOUR HEDGEHOG IS STUPID. 261 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,775 YOU MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY TODAY. 262 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:37,945 Jessica: EDDIE! 263 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,446 [ Chuckling ] I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU COME HOME. 264 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,114 HOW WAS PHILLIP'S DAY TODAY? 265 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,783 DID YOU GIVE HIM THE SNACK I PACKED FOR HIM IN YOUR LUNCH? 266 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,618 I DID. HE HATED IT. 267 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,720 [ SIGHS ] TOO MUCH GINGER -- I KNEW IT. 268 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,121 DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW? 269 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,090 OH, BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. 270 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,558 MRS. GOLDSTEIN CALLED 271 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,593 TO THANK ME FOR GIVING PHILLIP A RIDE HOME YESTERDAY. 272 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:57,497 A CHINESE BOY WITH JEWISH PARENTS... 273 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,432 THE WORLD IS AN AMAZING PLACE. 274 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,134 YEAH, MOM, EVERYTHING ABOUT PHILLIP IS AMAZING. 275 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,736 I GET IT. 276 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:07,507 EDDIE, I AM SORRY THAT I KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIM. 277 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,242 I'M JUST EXCITED 278 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,578 FOR YOU TO HAVE A GOOD CHINESE BOY TO HANG OUT WITH. 279 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,580 NOW YOU TWO CAN LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 280 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,283 * YEAH 281 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,417 THAT'S TRUE. MM-HMM. 282 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,852 IT'S JUST A SHAME 283 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,353 YOU WON'T LET ME GO TO THE BEASTIE BOYS CONCERT. 284 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,856 PHILLIP IS A BIG FAN AND NEEDS SOMEONE TO GO WITH. 285 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,324 PHILLIP IS GOING? 286 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,660 OH! 287 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,295 WELL, THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING. 288 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,262 YOU CAN GO. 289 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,630 THANKS, MOM! 290 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,599 WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM TONIGHT. 291 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,101 SAY WHAT, NOW? 292 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,136 THE GOLDSTEINS INVITED US OVER FOR DINNER. 293 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,438 HOSPITALITY ISN'T DEAD. 294 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,273 WHAT A FAMILY. 295 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,175 WHAT A GREAT FAMILY. 296 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,047 I CALL THIS ONE HERE THE WEDDING RING. 297 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,450 [ APPLAUSE ] Man: OH, YEAH! 298 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,620 ALWAYS WITH THE LASSO. 299 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,222 Mitch: HEY, HEY, LOUIS. 300 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,724 MITCH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 301 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,491 WELL, I WAS JUST OUT FOR AN AFTERNOON PEDAL, 302 00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,626 FIGURED I'D POP IN. 303 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,695 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD. 304 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,897 THANKS. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PAYING ME MORE AT THE GOLDEN SADDLE. 305 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,332 MM. SO, PICKED UP A TEN-SPEED 306 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,234 AND, YOU KNOW, JUST BEEN HITTING THE OPEN ROAD. 307 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,536 [ LAUGHS ] YOU KNOW, I'VE ONLY BEEN DOING IT FOR TWO DAYS, 308 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,038 BUT IT HAS TOTALLY CHANGED MY BODY. 309 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:11,905 MM. 310 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,640 Y-YOU LOOK GOOD, TOO. 311 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,674 OH, HAIRCUT. [ LAUGHS ] 312 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,809 OH, YEAH! OKAY. 313 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,044 STARTED GOING TO A BLACK BARBERSHOP. 314 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,712 THEY HAVE FUN THERE, LET ME TELL YOU. 315 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,314 [ LAUGHS ] LIKE, "OH, WHAT THE --" [ LAUGHS ] 316 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,883 AND TA-DA! THERE WE GO. 317 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,018 ALL RIGHT. [ APPLAUSE ] 318 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,487 WOW. LOOKS LIKE THE RESTAURANT'S BEEN DOING GREAT SINCE I LEFT. 319 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,322 OH, YEAH. [ LAUGHS ] 320 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,191 WYATT'S BEEN, UH... 321 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,360 REALLY GREAT. [ SIGHS ] 322 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,361 OH. OH! OH! 323 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,695 I'M SO, SO SORRY. I... 324 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,330 [ CHUCKLES ] DON'T. I-IT'S OKAY. 325 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,166 HONESTLY, I KIND OF MISS THAT. 326 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,534 THINGS HAVE BEEN A LITTLE TOO PERFECT AROUND HERE. 327 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,303 IT'S ALMOST ANNOYING. 328 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,006 I WANT TO COME BACK! COME BACK! 329 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,274 OH, THANK GOD. 330 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,675 THE GOLDEN SADDLE IS SO CORPORATE. 331 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,377 THEY DON'T TREAT INDIVIDUALS LIKE THEMSELVES. 332 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,578 IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BOTTOM LINE. 333 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,345 THEY DRUG TEST, DON'T THEY? 334 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,747 YEAH. 335 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,215 PUT IN YOUR TWO WEEKS' NOTICE, I'LL FIRE WYATT. 336 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,283 [ GASPS ] REALLY? 337 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,717 [ LAUGHS ] ALL RIGHT! GREAT! 338 00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,420 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 339 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,555 [ APPLAUSE ] Wyatt: THANK YOU, GUYS. 340 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,857 Louis: WYATT. YES, SIR? 341 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,859 THIS IS, UH, HARD FOR ME TO SAY, 342 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,327 BUT THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT. 343 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,398 I LOVE WHAT YOU BRING TO CATTLEMAN'S RANCH. 344 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,533 YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB. NO NOTES. [ LAUGHS ] 345 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,701 THANK YOU, SIR. [ Laughing ] OKAY. 346 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,703 WOW, THAT MEANS A LOT. THANK YOU. 347 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,271 ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS TO SEE THE TEXAS SKIP? 348 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,439 YEAH! YEAH! I DO! 349 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,740 [ CELLO PLAYING ] 350 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,224 HEY, HOW COME YOU DON'T COME BY THE RESTAURANT ANYMORE -- 351 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,625 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 352 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,460 I'M NOT GOING TO FIRE WYATT FOR YOU. 353 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,163 IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE SO NATURALLY CONFRONTATIONAL. 354 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,899 THANK YOU. BUT YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. 355 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,634 YOU ALWAYS WANT TO BE THE GOOD COP, 356 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,436 SO YOU BRING ME IN TO WIELD THE HAMMER. 357 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,004 DO YOUR OWN DIRTY WORK. 358 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:53,073 BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD AT GETTING US HOTEL UPGRADES. 359 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,441 SHH! 360 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,944 AN ANGEL IS AMONG US. 361 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,652 AMAZING, PHILLIP! AMAZING. 362 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,320 I WANTED EDDIE TO PLAY THE CELLO, 363 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:10,290 BUT HE WANTED TO PLAY "THE BEATBOX" INSTEAD. 364 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,758 [ BEATBOXES ] 365 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,293 EDDIE, STOP. STOP SPITTING INTO YOUR HANDS. 366 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,363 PHILLIP'S MUSIC IS JUST SO ELEGANT. 367 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,932 I'M SURPRISED HE LIKES THE BEASTIE -- 368 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,100 DO I SMELL FOOD? 369 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,535 LET'S EAT! 370 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,638 THANKS FOR TURNING OFF THE STOVE FOR ME, JESSICA. 371 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,208 THESE SHABBAT DINNERS ARE A LITTLE TRICKY FOR US. 372 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,509 WHAT'S SHABBAT? 373 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,179 WELL, SHABBAT IS THE JEWISH DAY OF REST. 374 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,347 WE'RE PROHIBITED FROM DOING CERTAIN THINGS 375 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,116 FROM FRIDAY NIGHT TO SATURDAY NIGHT -- 376 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,651 TURNING ELECTRICAL DEVICES LIKE THE STOVE ON AND OFF, 377 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,954 UH, HANDLING MONEY, PUTTING FLOWERS IN WATER. 378 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,555 MM. IT KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE 379 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,357 YOU'RE GREMLINS FROM THE MOVIE "GREMLINS." 380 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,625 EMERY! [ CHUCKLES ] 381 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,160 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET WATER ON YOU? 382 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,628 EVAN! BELIEVE ME, 383 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,363 WE'D LOVE TO LET SOME OF THESE RULES SLIDE, 384 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,665 BUT OUR PHILLIP IS JUST SO STRICT WITH US. 385 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,967 Louis: [ CHUCKLES ] I KNOW THE FEELING. 386 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,335 WE GOT ONE IN OUR HOUSE, TOO. 387 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,369 [ CHUCKLES ] [ CHUCKLES ] 388 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,005 MM. 389 00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,473 I BELIEVE THAT IF YOU'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING, DO IT RIGHT. 390 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,474 YES! 391 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,642 TAKE IT EASY, MOM. 392 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,512 YOU ARE SO RESPONSIBLE, PHILLIP! 393 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:08,081 THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I FEEL SO GOOD 394 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,583 ABOUT YOU TWO GOING TO THE BEASTIE BOYS CONCERT 395 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,784 TOMORROW NIGHT. 396 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,357 ABSOLUTELY, MRS. HUANG. 397 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,926 IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT TIME! 398 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,733 [ TOILET FLUSHES ] 399 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,904 DID YOU JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM IN THE DARK BECAUSE OF SHABBAT? 400 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,940 YEAH. I RAY CHARLES'D IT. 401 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,875 WHY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH MY LIE ABOUT THE BEASTIE BOYS CONCERT? 402 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,245 BECAUSE I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU. 403 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,081 I'LL GO TO YOUR SILLY RAP SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT 404 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,784 IF YOU BRING ME TO A MATINEE PERFORMANCE OF "LES MISéRABLES" 405 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,286 EARLIER THAT DAY. 406 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,854 LOOK AT THIS -- 407 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,023 A COUPLE OF BUDDIES SCHEMING ABOUT WHO KNOWS WHAT. 408 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,259 I LOVE IT. DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 409 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,528 I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM. [ LAUGHS ] 410 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,930 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 411 00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,033 I NEED YOU TO TAKE ME TO "LES MIS" 412 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,768 BECAUSE THE RULES OF SHABBAT 413 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,204 FORBID MY PARENTS FROM DRIVING ME 414 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,905 AND I CAN'T HANDLE MONEY, 415 00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,109 SO I CAN'T BUY TICKETS AND A PROPER SOUVENIR. 416 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,111 AND HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM? 417 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,479 IT'S NOT, 418 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,814 BUT IT'S YOUR ONLY WAY TO SEE THE BEASTIE BOYS. 419 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,918 [ SIGHS ] FINE. YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL. 420 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,922 SLOPPY. 421 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,259 FOR "LES MIS," YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO CLEAN THIS UP. 422 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:31,965 OKAY, SO, I HAVE TO FIRE THIS COWBOY HOST AT WORK, 423 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,300 AND I NEED YOUR HELP. 424 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,901 WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE ROLE-PLAY. 425 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,171 I'LL BE THE BOSS, AND YOU'RE THE EMPLOYEE I'M FIRING, OKAY? 426 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,473 [ SIGHS ] 427 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:45,445 EVAN, I CALLED YOU IN HERE TODAY -- 428 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,913 [ SIGHS ] HOLD ON. 429 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,149 YOUR FACE IS TOO CUTE. I CAN'T FIRE THAT FACE. 430 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,317 BE MORE SERIOUS. 431 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,321 WELL, THAT'S EVEN CUTER. YOU'RE EXCUSED. 432 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,622 GO. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 433 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,825 EMERY, THOUGH I DO VALUE YOUR WORK -- 434 00:15:58,858 --> 00:15:59,826 MY BUTT FELL OFF. 435 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,194 WHAT? 436 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,295 MY BUTT FELL OFF. 437 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,696 YOU CAN'T FIRE ME. 438 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,498 THIS IS THE ONLY JOB I CAN DO WITHOUT A BUTT. 439 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,634 I GOT NO BUTT. 440 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,935 THEN I CAN'T FIRE YOU. 441 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,836 YEAH. 442 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:10,837 OH, GOSH. 443 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:16,176 MRS. GOLDSTEIN AND I TALKED, AND THE PLAN IS SIMPLE -- 444 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,211 AFTER THE MUSICAL, YOU WALK TO THE CONCERT VENUE. 445 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,047 IT'S ONLY 3 BLOCKS AWAY. 446 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,648 AND MAKE S-- Eddie: I KNOW, I KNOW. 447 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,450 STICK TOGETHER, AND LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 448 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:27,520 OKAY, AND HERE IS SOME MONEY FOR SOUVENIRS AND SNACKS. 449 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,056 WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT TO PHILLIP? 450 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,858 OH, HONEY, BECAUSE I TRUST HIM MORE. 451 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,727 ACTUALLY, I CAN'T HANDLE ANY MONEY TODAY. 452 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,296 SHABBAT. 453 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,365 EDDIE, COULD YOU GRAB THAT AND PUT IT IN MY POCKET? 454 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:41,034 CAREFUL NOT TO CONFUSE A POCKET FOR A PLEAT. 455 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,002 THEY'RE PRESSED, AND THEY'RE DEEP. 456 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,340 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 457 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,744 GOD, I LOVE THE MEZZANINE. 458 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:56,216 [ OPENING MUSIC PLAYS ] 459 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,884 [ CLOSING MUSIC PLAYS ] 460 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,220 BRAVO! [ APPLAUSE ] 461 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:01,354 WHOO! 462 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,523 THANK GOD IT'S FINALLY OVER. 463 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,092 IT'S INTERMISSION. 464 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,826 MAN... 465 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,695 [ CLOSING MUSIC PLAYS ] 466 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,430 [ APPLAUSE ] 467 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,233 I FEEL MY LIFE HAS PEAKED TOO EARLY. 468 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,937 Eddie: [ SIGHS ] 469 00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:20,707 I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM. 470 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,409 WHEN I GET BACK, I'M REACHING IN YOUR POCKET, 471 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:23,710 PAYING FOR YOUR DUMB SHIRT, 472 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,645 AND WE'RE GOING TO THE BEASTIE BOYS. 473 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,517 THEY'RE DOING "FOLLIES" IN THE SPRING? 474 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,552 UM, YES, PLEASE. 475 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,089 IT IS GREAT TO BE BACK, BOSS. [ CHUCKLES ] 476 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,790 [ CHUCKLES ] IT IS SO GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK, MITCH. 477 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,426 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 478 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,228 SO, THE FIRST THING I NEED YOU TO DO IS FIRE WYATT. 479 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,096 [ CHUCKLES ] Y-YOU'RE JOKING. 480 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,864 I KNOW WHY YOU THINK THAT -- I AM A JOKESTER, 481 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,300 BUT, NO, SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT. 482 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,104 UH... 483 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,972 O-OKAY. OKAY, YEAH, I'LL DO IT. 484 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:53,906 I MEAN... 485 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,743 YEAH. I CAN'T WAIT TO DO IT. 486 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,077 GREAT. [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 487 00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,580 I LEAVE AT 5:30, SO DO IT AT 5:35. 488 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,549 I WANT TO BE ON THE HIGHWAY WHEN IT'S HAPPENING. 489 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,583 I... 490 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,086 ADIOS, WYATT. 491 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,988 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 492 00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:14,927 PHILLIP? 493 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,764 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 494 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,132 PHILLIP! 495 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,535 PHILLIP! 496 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,676 HOW COULD YOU LOSE PHILLIP?! 497 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,778 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER! 498 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,480 I DON'T KNOW, MOM! I'M SORRY! 499 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,482 WHAT IF SOMEBODY TOOK HIM? DON'T SAY THAT. 500 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,350 WHO WOULDN'T WANT HIM? HE'S PERFECT. 501 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,155 OKAY, WE JUST HAVE TO TELL THE GOLDSTEINS THE TRUTH, 502 00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,424 AND SO YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO PUT MOST OF THE BLAME ON YOU, 503 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,426 NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO, BUT FOR LEGAL PURPOSES. 504 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,827 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 505 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:50,663 PHILLIP! 506 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,332 OH, THANK GOD! [ SIGHS ] 507 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,301 HELLO, MRS. HUANG. 508 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,469 EDWYN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! 509 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,371 OH, WELL, I GOT TO THE FRONT OF THE MERCHANDISE LINE, 510 00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,806 AND YOU WEREN'T BACK. 511 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,674 BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WAS NIGHTFALL -- 512 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:02,875 SHABBAT WAS OVER. 513 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,444 I THOUGHT THAT ENDED AT MIDNIGHT. 514 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,513 I'M A DEVOUT JEW, NOT CINDERELLA. 515 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:09,682 SO, I BOUGHT THIS GORGEOUS SHIRT MYSELF 516 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,318 AND CAUGHT THE BUS HOME. 517 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,186 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE CONCERT WITH ME! 518 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,554 YEAH, I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT. 519 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,223 YOU JUST LEFT HIM? 520 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:20,327 PHILLIP, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. 521 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,696 EDDIE GAVE UP GOING TO HIS CONCERT TO LOOK FOR YOU, 522 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,233 AND YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE TO HIM! 523 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,335 YOU ARE VERY SELFISH. 524 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,305 YOU ARE NOT A GOOD CHINESE BOY. 525 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,673 EDDIE IS. 526 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,708 NICE, MOM. 527 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,244 NOW DROP THE MIKE AND LET'S GO. 528 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,514 DROP THE MIKE? WHO IS MIKE? 529 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,682 MICROPHONE, MOM. 530 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,351 IT MEANS YOU WERE AWESOME. 531 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,889 NOT GONNA LIE -- WHAT MY MOM DID BACK THERE SURPRISED ME, 532 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,659 BUT WHAT SHE DID NEXT SURPRISED ME EVEN MORE. 533 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,494 SHE TOOK ME TO SEE THE BEASTIE BOYS 534 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,730 THE VERY NEXT NIGHT IN TAMPA. 535 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,866 WHOO! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 536 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,201 THANK GOD THAT'S FINALLY OVER. 537 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,903 NO, THAT WAS JUST THE OPENING ACT. 538 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,205 MAN... THAT WAS AWESOME! 539 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,741 SO, LIKE I WAS SAYING, 540 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:11,210 FINDING YOUR BEARINGS IN A NEW SCHOOL IS ALWAYS TOUGH... 541 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,712 Troy: OBVIOUSLY, YOU'VE NEVER TRIED 542 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,281 TO RAISE THE JIB ON WET TEAK. 543 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,548 [ SCOFFS ] [ LAUGHS ] 544 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,183 ...WHICH IS WHY IT MEANS SO MUCH 545 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,253 WHEN YOU FINALLY FIND SOMEONE YOU IDENTIFY WITH. 546 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,455 CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN, GOLDSTEIN. 547 00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,257 YOU'RE A PHILISTINE, HUANG. 548 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,892 BUT SOMETIMES, 549 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,627 THE MORE MEANINGFUL WAY TO CONNECT WITH SOMEBODY 550 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,129 ISN'T THE MOST OBVIOUS ONE. 551 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,700 YOU SAW THE BEASTIE BOYS, TOO? 552 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,603 HELL YEAH, I DID! IT WAS ILL! 553 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,272 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY OPENED WITH "EGG MAN"! [ THE BEASTIE BOYS' "ROOT DOWN" PLAYS ] 554 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,573 I MEAN, CRAZY, RIGHT? OH, MY GOD! 555 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,808 CHECK US OUT -- 556 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,310 AN ASIAN KID AND A BLACK KID 557 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,911 BONDING OVER MUSIC BY WHITE JEWISH RAPPERS. 558 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,546 AMERICA'S CRAZY. 559 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,448 * I KICK IT ROOT DOWN, I PUT MY ROOT DOWN * 560 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,750 * I KICK IT ROOT DOWN, I PUT MY ROOT DOWN * 561 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,952 * SO, HOW WE GONNA KICK IT? * GONNA KICK IT ROOT DOWN 562 00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,492 Mitch: HI. WELCOME TO CATTLEMAN'S RANCH. 563 00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:01,461 MAY I GET YOU A TABLE OR A BOOTH? 564 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,597 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LASSO YOU A COUPLE SEATS AT THE BAR? 565 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,499 OOH! LASSO, PLEASE. 566 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,902 [ CHUCKLES ] 567 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,571 WHAT'S WYATT STILL DOING HERE? 568 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,772 I COULDN'T FIRE HIM. 569 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:13,806 THOSE DIMPLES. 570 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:14,807 LOOK, IT'S OKAY. 571 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,242 WE'LL JUST BE CO-HOSTS. 572 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,345 OKAY, WELL, THEN YOU TWO ARE SPLITTING A SALARY. 573 00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,179 WYATT, YOU'RE FIRED! 574 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,581 YOU'RE FIRED, WYATT! WYATT! 575 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,849 WAIT. LET ME GET ON THE HIGHWAY. 576 00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:24,984 I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY KEYS OUT YET!