1 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,405 Eddie: AFTER POPS BANNED MA FROM WORKING AT THE RESTAURANT 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,407 BECAUSE SHE DROVE EVERYONE NUTS, 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,142 SHE WAS REALLY DETERMINED TO FIND A JOB. OVERQUALIFIED. 4 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,010 NOT ENOUGH PAY. 5 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,879 "MUST BE A TEAM PLAYER"? 6 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,647 [ LAUGHS ] 7 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,049 NO. Evan: MOM! 8 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,650 EDDIE'S FLICKING MY EAR. 9 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,887 I'M JUST HOLDING MY HAND HERE. I'M NOT EVEN TOUCHING HIM. 10 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,489 I FEEL PHANTOM FLICKS. 11 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,492 EDDIE, I COULD GET BY WITH ONLY TWO SONS. 12 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,060 THINK ABOUT THAT. 13 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:28,929 THAT WOMAN WAS TOUGH. SHE COULD HANDLE ANYTHING. 14 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,231 Man: [ SIGHS ] EXCUSE ME, MA'AM? 15 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,266 ANYTHING BUT AN ORLANDO HEAT WAVE. 16 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,935 YOU REALLY CAN'T LOITER IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE. 17 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,770 I AM NOT LOITERING. 18 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,906 I AM SHOPPING. 19 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,509 $4.99? 20 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,743 I'LL GIVE YOU $2. 21 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,079 THE POPSICLES ARE A SET PRICE. THEY'RE NOT NEGOTIABLE. 22 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:46,780 YOU'RE GOOD. $2.50. 23 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,716 MA'AM, IF YOU WANNA BEAT THE HEAT, 24 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,951 THEY SELL AIR CONDITIONERS AT SEARS. OH, WE HAVE AN AIR CONDITIONER. 25 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,020 MOMS JUST WON'T LET US TURN IT ON. 26 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,955 AIR-CONDITIONING IS EXPENSIVE. 27 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,391 WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE, THE CHIANGS? 28 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,460 VERY PROMINENT FAMILY IN D.C. 29 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:02,163 THEY'RE SORT OF THE LIAOS OF THE UPHOLSTERY WORLD. 30 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,432 VERY PROMINENT FAMILY IN TAIWAN. 31 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,934 THEY MADE THEIR FORTUNE IN TEXTILES -- 32 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,269 MA'AM, NOT TODAY. 33 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,404 THERE'S A DOG LOOSE IN THE PRODUCE SECTION. 34 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,306 A DOG?! 35 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,675 [ THUD ] 36 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:21,315 I'LL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR FOR ALL OF THIS. 37 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,617 -- Captions by VITAC -- 38 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:24,952 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 39 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,454 * I'M GETTIN' MINE EVERYWHERE I GO * 40 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,789 * IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HOMEY, NOW YOU KNOW * 41 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,158 * FRESH OFF THE BOAT 42 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,493 * HOMEY DON'T KNOW WHERE I COME FROM * 43 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,894 * BUT I KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN' 44 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,829 * I'M FRESH OFF THE BOAT 45 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,836 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 46 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,505 ME AND THE KIDS AT SCHOOL DIDN'T ALWAYS GET ALONG, 47 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,106 BUT THE THINGS WE COULD AGREE ON 48 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:48,609 WERE HOOPS, HIP-HOP, AND NINTENDO. 49 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:52,313 SO WHEN WE HEARD SHAQ COMBINED ALL THREE IN A VIDEO GAME, 50 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,182 WE LOST OUR DAMN MINDS. 51 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,516 IT'S CALLED "SHAQ FU." 52 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,618 IT'S LIKE "MORTAL KOMBAT," BUT WITH SHAQ. 53 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,453 [ CAP POPS ] GOES ON SALE NEXT WEEK. 54 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,289 $50. 55 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,790 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF SCRILL! 56 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,359 I MEAN, SHAQ'S GOTTA MAKE HIS MONEY. I RESPECT THAT. 57 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,094 BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE JAPANESE GUYS? 58 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,762 WHAT DO THEY NEED IT FOR? 59 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,930 AREN'T YOU JAPANESE? 60 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,432 YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. 61 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,702 I'M GONNA PAY FOR IT BY TAKING MY SISTER'S TOOTH FAIRY MONEY. 62 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,937 I'VE BEEN DOUBLE MOWING THE MILLERS' LAWN. 63 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,306 THEY HAVEN'T NOTICED. 64 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,640 I THINK THEY'RE GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF. 65 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,309 I'VE BEEN POCKETING MY LUNCH MONEY. 66 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,510 Eddie: YOU'RE NOT GONNA EAT? 67 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,445 JUST GOTTA GET PAST WEDNESDAY -- 68 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,815 DINOSAUR NUGGETS, PUDDING CUP. 69 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,983 MY MOM'S DRIVING TO MIAMI TO GET THE GAME FOR ME. 70 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,619 THEY GET IT TWO DAYS EARLIER DOWN THERE. 71 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:35,055 YEAH, SHE'S MAKING UP FOR MY DAD FORGETTING ME AT A WALMART. 72 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,457 NO FAIR! LUCKY! 73 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,559 YOU GONNA FINISH YOUR SANDWICH? 74 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,795 I'M GONNA ASK MY MOM FOR THE MONEY. 75 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,464 SHE'S USUALLY CHEAP AS HELL, 76 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,699 BUT SHE'LL GET THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. 77 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,202 SO A BASKETBALL MAN MADE A VIDEO GAME 78 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,838 ABOUT KARATE'ING PEOPLE? 79 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:54,242 THANK GOD. THANK GOD. I KNEW YOU'D GET IT. 80 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,647 [ COINS RATTLE ] 81 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,882 THERE WE GO. 82 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,351 LITTLE ZIP ZIP. 83 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:07,221 SHE PROBABLY HAS NO ENERGY BECAUSE IT'S SO HOT IN HERE. 84 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,990 CAN WE TURN ON THE A/C JUST FOR A SECOND? 85 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,227 [ SPEAKING MANDARIN ] 86 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,933 GRANDMA, PLEASE. I HAVE A HEADACHE. 87 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:23,170 WHEN MOMMY FINDS A JOB, THEN WE CAN TURN ON THE A/C. 88 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,439 FOR NOW, IT'S JUST TOO EXPENSIVE. 89 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,940 DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S FREE? 90 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,209 PARKING AT THE MALL WHERE THEY SELL VIDEO GAMES. 91 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,744 NO, IT'S NOT. 92 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,080 SO WE WALK THROUGH BROOKSTONE AND GET A STAMP! GOD! 93 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,349 HEY, EVERYONE! HI. 94 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:38,386 HOW WAS YOUR DAY? BOYS, HOW WAS SCHOOL? 95 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,921 GREAT! I GOT ELECTED -- TERRIFIC! MY TURN! 96 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,456 I HAVE EXCITING NEWS. 97 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,959 I FINALLY HIT ON A WINNING PROMOTION AT THE RESTAURANT! 98 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:47,628 [ ALL SIGH ] 99 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,263 THIS WASN'T THE FIRST TIME POPS HAD COME HOME EXCITED 100 00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,798 ABOUT A "WINNING" PUBLICITY STUNT. 101 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:54,968 AHOY, ME HEARTIES! 102 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,770 I BE CAPTAIN BOOK! 103 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,106 LEST THERE BE CLAIMS OF COPYRIGHT PLUNDER, 104 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:02,142 THAT'S B-O-O-K. 105 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,778 NOW WHAT WOULD YE LIKE TO ORDER? 106 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,947 LUCKILY, MY DAD WAS ABOUT TO STUMBLE INTO 107 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,717 THE BIGGEST RESTAURANT CRAZE OF THE MID '90s. 108 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,251 FAJITAS! 109 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,621 [ LAUGHS ] ORLANDO CAN'T GET ENOUGH 110 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,990 UTILITY-GRADE SKIRT STEAK DELIVERED IN A SIZZLING SKILLET. 111 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:20,994 NO WAY. NO WAY WHITE PEOPLE WILL EAT MEAT OUT OF A PAN. 112 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,896 YES WAY. YES WAY ALL DAY. 113 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,132 YOU BRING THEM TORTILLAS, VEGGIES, AND STEAK, 114 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,300 AND THEY ASSEMBLE IT THEMSELVES. 115 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,235 IT'S LIKE AN EDIBLE IKEA CHAIR. 116 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,737 OR A LEGOS YOU CAN EAT! 117 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,473 OH. HE IMPROVED ON IT. HE JUST MADE IT BETTER. 118 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,608 SO WE'RE ABOUT TO COME INTO SOME MONEY, HUH? 119 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:37,345 HEY, PAPA, YOU BEEN WORKING OUT? 120 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,212 'CAUSE YOU'RE LOOKING SWOLE. 121 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,582 WHAT? 122 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,517 SINCE THINGS ARE LOOKING SO GOOD AT THE RESTAURANT, 123 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,186 MAYBE YOU CAN SPOT ME SOME BREAD FOR A VIDEO GAME? 124 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,655 50 SMALL? 125 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,024 I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. [ SCOFFS ] 126 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,794 THE DOWNSIDE OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. 127 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:57,097 ENTITLED CHILDREN FEELING LIKE THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORK 128 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,932 TO GET WHAT THEY WANT. 129 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,468 MY FATHER, YOUR YéYé, 130 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,504 MADE ME WORK HARD FOR EVERY PENNY, 131 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,774 AND THAT WORK ETHIC IS HOW I'M ABLE TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON. 132 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,941 BUT NOT THE A/C. 133 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,810 THAT'S YOUR MOTHER'S THING. SHE RUNS THE HOUSE. 134 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:10,878 DON'T PULL ME INTO THAT. 135 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,447 IF YOU WANT MONEY, YOU NEED TO WORK FOR IT. 136 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:16,183 BUT I CAN'T WORK. I'M ONLY 11. 137 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,385 WELL, WHEN YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS 11, 138 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,819 HE HAD THREE KIDS. 139 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,288 AS I SAY THAT, I REALIZE I'M EXAGGERATING, 140 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,957 BUT HE DEFINITELY WAS WORKING AT YOUR AGE. 141 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,058 RIGHT, MA? 142 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,398 MM-HMM. I ALWAYS RESPECTED HIM FOR THAT. 143 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,332 MADE ME THE MAN I AM TODAY. 144 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,034 SO IT'S SETTLED. 145 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,571 [ GRUNTS ] EDDIE WILL COME WORK WITH ME AT CATTLEMAN'S AFTER SCHOOL. 146 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,840 GREAT, BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW. 147 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,810 A FURNITURE STORE NEEDS MANAGEMENT HELP. 148 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,244 THAT'S MY SPECIALTY. 149 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,213 WHAT'S YOUR SPECIALTY, EMERY? 150 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,382 I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO SAY "THE LADIES," 151 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,150 BUT I'M CLASSIER THAN THAT. 152 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,419 WHEN I GROW UP, 153 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,253 I WANT MY SPECIALTY TO BE HOMEMADE PICKLES. 154 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,855 THAT'S A NEW INTEREST FOR YOU. 155 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,190 I WAS GONNA TELL YOU EARLIER -- NO, IT'S FINE. 156 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,826 I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO SHARE A BUNK BED 157 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,528 WITH A TOTAL STRANGER. 158 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,866 I'M SORRY. IT'S THE HEAT. 159 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,437 HEY! 160 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,939 READY FOR YOUR FIRST DAY? LOOK, DAD, 161 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,442 I DON'T WANNA BE HERE, AND YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE. 162 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,109 UH, I DO WANT YOU HERE. 163 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,946 REMEMBER MY INCREDIBLY MOVING SPEECH ABOUT YOUR GRANDFATHER? 164 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:22,916 BUT AS LONG AS I'M HERE, I'M GONNA MAKE THE BEST OF IT. 165 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,752 TIPS FOR "SHAQ FU." 166 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,422 LIFE, HUH? 167 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,958 [ SCOFFS ] YOU GIVE A COMPANY 22 YEARS, 168 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,926 YOU THINK -- AHEM! 169 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,395 MY EARS DON'T COME FREE. 170 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,598 UH... [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] YOU KNOW, 171 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,634 RATHER THAN HAVE MY 11-YEAR-OLD TEND BAR, 172 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,369 I THOUGHT YOU COULD WORK THE FLOOR. 173 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,805 AW, DOPE! LIKE MANAGE THE SERVERS? 174 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,106 OR HANDLE SECURITY? 175 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,976 I'M WATCHING YOU, SON. 176 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,444 UH, NO. 177 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,580 I GOT SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND FOR YOU. 178 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,282 [ SKILLETS SIZZLING ] 179 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,418 OOH! I'D LIKE SOME FAJITAS. 180 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,387 THOSE LOOK DELICIOUS! 181 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,089 YOU HEARD 'EM, FAJITA BOY. [ CHUCKLES ] 182 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,325 WHOOPS. 183 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,761 THE HEAT MELTED MY MUSTACHE GLUE. 184 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,964 YOU KNOW, YOUR GRANDFATHER'S EAR FELL OFF ON HIS FIRST JOB. 185 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:14,434 AS I SAY THAT, I REALIZE I'M EXAGGERATING, BUT IT COULD HAVE. 186 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,936 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 187 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,478 [ GROANS ] 188 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,316 [ GROANS LOUDLY ] 189 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,485 WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT NOISE? 190 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,920 I DROPPED FOUR SKILLETS, 191 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,656 CAUGHT A FLAMING GREEN PEPPER IN THE FACE. 192 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,090 DELIVERING FAJITAS SUCKS. 193 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,359 YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S FIRST JOB WAS? 194 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:44,064 SELLING BREAD THAT WAS SO HOT, HE LOST ALL HIS FINGERPRINTS. 195 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,536 WHY DO I GET THE WORST JOB IN THE WHOLE RESTAURANT? 196 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,870 I'M YOUR SON. 197 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,772 IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE MY SON. 198 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,374 IT'S MY JOB AS YOUR FATHER TO MAKE SURE MY BOYS UNDERSTAND 199 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:55,709 THE MEANING OF HARD WORK, 200 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,611 LIKE YOUR GRANDFATHER DID WITH ME. 201 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:59,479 CAN'T YOU JUST FRONT ME THE MONEY? 202 00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:02,716 EDDIE, THERE ARE NO HANDOUTS IN THE HUANG FAMILY. 203 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,685 THE ONLY TIME YOUR GRANDFATHER 204 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,788 GOT ANYTHING WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT WAS ON HIS BIRTHDAY. 205 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,157 AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE GOT? AN EGG. 206 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,458 ONE EGG. 207 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,493 TO EAT OR TO PLAY WITH? 208 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,729 NOW YOU SEE HIS DILEMMA. 209 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:24,672 Evan and Emery: A/C. 210 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,908 [ ALL SIGH CONTENTEDLY ] 211 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,310 GOOD AFTERNOON. 212 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,579 CAN I HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING TODAY -- 213 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,413 JESSICA HUANG. 214 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,882 SEVEN YEARS MANAGING 215 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,050 NUMBER ONE FURNITURE UNLIMITED IN WASHINGTON, D.C. 216 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,019 OH. OKAY. 217 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,988 ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR? 218 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,990 YES. $18.50 AN HOUR, AND I NEED AFTERNOONS OFF 219 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,758 TO HELP MY BOYS WITH THEIR SCHOOLWORK. 220 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,027 OH, AND ON THURSDAYS, I DO MY MOTHER-IN-LAW'S NAILS. 221 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,930 WE BOTH HATE IT, BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO SAY ANYTHING NOW. 222 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,901 PRETTY COLOR. 223 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,572 UH...I THINK THERE'S BEEN SOME SORT OF MIX-UP. 224 00:08:58,606 --> 00:08:59,707 WE'RE NOT HIRING. 225 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,909 BUT YOU PUT THIS IN THE PAPER. 226 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,777 IT'S AN AD FOR 25% OFF MATTRESSES. 227 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,012 EXACTLY. 228 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,881 25% OFF ON THE HIGHEST-MARGIN ITEM IN THE STORE. 229 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,750 YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED MY HELP. 230 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:14,121 IT'S OKAY. YOU FOUND ME. JESSICA IS HERE. 231 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,623 [ AIR CONDITIONER WHIRRING ] 232 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:19,092 IT'S LIKE BEING KISSED BY A SNOWMAN. 233 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,562 GUYS, I GOT THE MONEY. 234 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,464 DID A THIRD HEDGE TRIMMING AT THE MILLERS'. 235 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,899 THEY'RE SELLING THEIR HOUSE. 236 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,901 I THINK THINGS MUST BE GETTING BAD. 237 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,437 ME? I'M HUSTLIN' FOR THAT MONEY. 238 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,772 'CAUSE LIKE MY DAD SAYS, 239 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,607 THERE'S NO FREE HANDOUTS IN THE HUANG FAMILY. 240 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,275 I MEAN -- WHO CARES? 241 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,712 I GAVE MY SISTER A CANDY APPLE, AND HER LAST MOLAR CAME OUT. 242 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,314 TOOTH FAIRY. DOLLA DOLLA BILL, Y'ALL. 243 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,283 [ Weakly ] WHO HAS A CANDY APPLE? 244 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,452 SO DID YOUR MOM DRIVE TO MIAMI? DID SHE GET IT? 245 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,820 YES AND NO. 246 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,622 SHE DROVE TO MIAMI, BUT THE GUY SAID 247 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,191 THAT THE HOT NEW GAME WAS "9 TO 5." 248 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,827 YOU KNOW, BASED ON 249 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,129 THE DOLLY PARTON/JANE FONDA OFFICE COMEDY? 250 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,099 THE ONE THAT CAME OUT IN 1980, 15 YEARS AGO? 251 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,668 THAT'S THE GAME SHE BOUGHT ME. 252 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,170 THAT'S THE GAME I HAVE IN MY HOUSE. 253 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:13,113 [ WATER TRICKLING ] WHY DO THEY PUT THE CLASSIFIEDS SO CLOSE TO THE COMICS? 254 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,784 I KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED BY THE MISFORTUNES OF CATHY. 255 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,852 NONE OF THOSE SWIMSUITS ARE RIGHT, CATHY. 256 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,321 [ LAUGHS ] NONE OF THEM. 257 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,323 MOM, HOLD IT UP. 258 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,992 WE CAN'T RUN THROUGH IT. 259 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,928 [ GASPS ] AND THE WATER'S REALLY HOT! 260 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,197 IT'S HOT AT RAGING WATERS, TOO. 261 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,000 EXCEPT THIS IS $30 CHEAPER AND YOU WON'T GET 262 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,669 SOME STRANGER'S BAND-AID IN YOUR MOUTH. 263 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,807 SHE'S CLEANSING THEM OF THE EVIL SPIRITS 264 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,509 CAST BY DISHONORED ANCESTORS. [ SIGHS ] 265 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:43,977 RIGHT, JESSICA? 266 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,880 I'M JUST TRYING TO COOL DOWN MY KIDS AND FIND A JOB, 267 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:50,951 BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO APPRECIATE HOW I'M GOOD AT EVERYTHING I DO. 268 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:54,554 ANYWAY, GUESS WHERE WE JUST CAME FROM. [ GIGGLES ] 269 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,289 REMEMBER OUR FRIEND SAMANTHA? 270 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,825 REAL GREAT SMILE. 271 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,459 HER MOTHER TOOK HER OWN LIFE. 272 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:03,196 WELL, SHE IS MOVING. 273 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,298 Carol-Joan: WE JUST CAME FROM HER OPEN HOUSE. 274 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,533 WE DID A LITTLE DIGGING, 275 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,668 AND SHE AND ANDREW ARE GETTING A DIVORCE. 276 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,638 I THINK ANDREW LEFT HER BECAUSE SHE BLIMPED OUT. 277 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,374 [ Mouths word ] I FOUND FIVE TUBS OF ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER. 278 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,343 IRONICALLY, ROCKY ROAD. 279 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,012 NO SELF-CONTROL. NONE. 280 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,550 [ ALL SIGH ] 281 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,086 BOYS, HERE'S YOUR A/C. 282 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,022 NOW MOMMY CAN KEEP LOOKING FOR JOBS IN PEACE. 283 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,092 [ Singsongy ] HELLO! 284 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:35,863 I'M ASHLEY ALEXANDER OF ASHLEY ALEXANDER REALTY. 285 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,765 I DON'T LIKE THAT NAME. 286 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,600 I WOULD CALL IT RED DOOR REALTY. 287 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,903 OKAY. GREAT. 288 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:46,606 CAN I SHOW YOU AROUND THIS LOVELY HOME? 289 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,775 [ PURSE THUDS ] 290 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,243 YES, PLEASE, IN JUST ONE MINUTE. 291 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,316 ONE MINUTE, PLEASE. THANK YOU. [ PEN CLICKS ] 292 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:03,590 MY OLD MAN THOUGHT I COULDN'T WORK HARD, 293 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,192 BUT HE WAS WRONG. 294 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,027 AND MUCH LIKE SHAQ, WHO BUSTED HIS ASS TO GET 295 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,462 HIS FREE-THROW PERCENTAGE UP TO A STRONG 52%, 296 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,864 BY THE END OF THE WEEK, 297 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,365 MY FAJITA GAME WAS STRAIGHT-UP NASTY. 298 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,634 Kool Moe Dee: * I GO TO WORK LIKE A DOCTOR * 299 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,104 * WHEN I ROCK THE MIC, YOU GOT TO LIKE THE WAY I OPERATE * 300 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,472 * I MAKE MIRACLES HAPPEN JUST FROM RAPPIN' * 301 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,774 OOH! 302 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,242 OH, COULD I GET -- MAS TORTILLAS? 303 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,077 * ON THE SCENE MEAN, I GOT THE POTENTIAL * 304 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,279 * TO MAKE YOU GO, THEN CHILL, I GOT THE CREDENTIALS * 305 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,115 * THAT ARE SO ESSENTIAL TO MAKE A RHYME AND CHILL * [ SIZZLING ] 306 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,950 * THEN YOU KNOW I WILL FULFILL, MAKE A COUPLE OF MILL * 307 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,751 * AS I BUILD A GUILD FOR ALL THE RAPPERS * 308 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,220 MORE SIZZLE! 309 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,321 * AND NO THRILLS 310 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,289 [ SIZZLES ] [ LAUGHS ] 311 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,558 YEAH! WHOO! YEAH! 312 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,293 [ LAUGHS ] [ BLOWS AIR ] 313 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,494 NICE! 314 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,996 * I GO TO WORK 315 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,933 YOU'VE DONE A REAL NICE JOB THIS WEEK, EDDIE. 316 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,902 YOU EARNED IT. 317 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,603 THANKS, POPS. [ CHUCKLES ] 318 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:51,771 IT WAS HARD... MM. 319 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,406 ...BUT IN THE END, I KEPT MY HEAD DOWN, 320 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,275 AND YOU KNOW HOW THINGS... 321 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,443 18 BUCKS?! 322 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,845 THAT'S WAY SHORT! 323 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,279 I NEED $50 FOR "SHAQ FU"! 324 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,114 OH, I'M SORRY, EDDIE, BUT I HAD TO DOCK YOUR PAY 325 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,951 FOR ALL THE FOOD YOU DROPPED, THE PLATES YOU BROKE. 326 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,618 HARD WORK ISN'T JUST ABOUT SHOWING UP. 327 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,921 IT'S ALSO ABOUT DOING A GOOD JOB. 328 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,189 BUT HEY, IN A FEW WEEKS, 329 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,858 YOU'LL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY YOUR GAME. 330 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,159 AND, UH, MAYBE SOME LEFT OVER 331 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,828 TO BUY A FUNNY MOUSE PAD OR SOMETHING. 332 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,797 YOU KNOW? LIKE -- LIKE A DOG DOING SOMETHING FUNNY OR... 333 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,366 [ CHUCKLES ] I DON'T KNOW. 334 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,175 OKAY, SO RIGHT WHEN THE BELL RINGS, 335 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,477 WE GET ON OUR BIKES, GO TO THE MALL, AND BUY "SHAQ FU." 336 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,611 ANY QUESTIONS? 337 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,446 I'M TOO WEAK TO CYCLE. 338 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,248 THEN WE LEAVE YOU, BRIAN! 339 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,952 I CAN'T GO. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THE GAME YET, 340 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:41,154 AND I STILL NEED TO GO WORK AT MY DAD'S STUPID RESTAURANT 341 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,289 AFTER SCHOOL. 342 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,790 DUDE, THAT SUCKS. 343 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,459 YOU CAN BORROW MY GAME AFTER I BEAT IT. 344 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,928 BUT THAT COULD TAKE YEARS! 345 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,732 GUYS, I WAS UP ALL NIGHT. 346 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,302 "9 TO 5" IS GENIUS. 347 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,238 YOU CAN PLAY IT AS ANY CHARACTER, BUT I PREFER DORALEE 348 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,407 BECAUSE IF YOU FORGE FRANKLIN HART'S SIGNATURE, 349 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,211 YOU GET TO OPEN UP A DAYCARE AT CONSOLIDATED. 350 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,180 COME ON, LET'S GO POINT OUR BIKES 351 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,581 IN THE DIRECTION OF THE MALL. 352 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,283 HAVE FUN AT WORK, EDDIE. 353 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,087 THEY WERE ALL GOING TO THE MALL, 354 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,855 AND I HAD TO GO TO WORK, 355 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,891 AND IT STILL WASN'T GONNA GET ME THAT GAME. 356 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,459 SO I MADE A DECISION. 357 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:28,368 [ SIGHS ] I DON'T THINK EDDIE'S GONNA SHOW UP FOR HIS SHIFT. 358 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,270 [ SIGHS ] I GUESS NOT. 359 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,606 ALL RIGHT, MITCH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE ON FAJITA DUTY. 360 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,675 YES! [ LAUGHS ] SHOWTIME! 361 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,444 [ LIMES SQUIRT ] OH! OH, GOD. 362 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,779 THE LIMES, THEY TURNED ON THE HANDLER. 363 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:43,116 I CAN'T SEE. LOUIS? LOUIS! 364 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,121 OH, THE POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED? 365 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,789 WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER JOBS AVAILABLE? 366 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,391 I'M A VERY FAST LEARNER. 367 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,759 EXCUSE ME. 368 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,027 ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THIS HOUSE? BECAUSE -- 369 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,129 YES, VERY. DEFINITELY A CONTENDER. 370 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,231 I'M VERY DETAIL-ORIENTED. I... [ LINE DISCONNECTS ] 371 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,767 HELLO? 372 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,469 HELLO? 373 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,903 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 374 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,239 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 375 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,608 OH, SOMEONE NAMED JEREMY CALLED, BY THE WAY. 376 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,544 HE WANTS ME TO TELL YOU TO LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BEDROOM 377 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,746 WHEN YOU'RE DONE. 378 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,248 WE CAN ALWAYS CHANGE THE PAINT. 379 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,785 BUT NOT THE LOUSY SCHOOL DISTRICT. 380 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,253 THE SKYLIGHTS SHOULD HELP THE RESALE. 381 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,155 BUT THE CEMETERY DOWN THE STREET WON'T. 382 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,325 IT'S GOT GREAT BONES BUT NO OPEN FLOOR PLAN. 383 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,494 AND YOU KNOW I NEED A DOUBLE OVEN. MM-HMM. 384 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,130 YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE MILLER HOUSE ON ORANGE. 385 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,798 SOUNDS PERFECT FOR YOU. 386 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,833 YOU'RE JUST HERE FOR THE FREE A/C. 387 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,469 YOU'RE THE LADY ASHLEY ALEXANDER WARNED ME ABOUT. 388 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,738 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] FROM RED DOOR REALTY? 389 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,140 WHAT? NO. 390 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,809 SORRY. I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. 391 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,077 FINE. 392 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,445 [ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ] 393 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,115 HEY, COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU THE MILLER HOUSE. 394 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,117 LET ME JUST GET MY KIDS OUT OF THE POOL, AND WE'LL GO. 395 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,085 MARCO! Evan and Emery: POLO! 396 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,620 COME ON. [ WATER SPLASHES ] 397 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,824 [ DOOR CLOSES ] WHERE'S EDDIE? 398 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,192 HE DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR WORK TODAY. 399 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,627 NANCY HAD TO COVER FOR HIM, 400 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,296 AND SHE SPILLED SALSA ALL OVER REGINA SNIPES! 401 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,999 THAT'S WESLEY SNIPES' AUNT. 402 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,768 TOOK TWO BANANA CREAM PIES JUST TO CALM HER DOWN. 403 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,270 [ SIGHS ] THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 404 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,006 I'M GONNA MAKE HIM COME IN BEFORE AND AFTER SCHOOL 405 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,141 AND ON WEEKENDS. 406 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,675 PUSH HIM HARD UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS 407 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,810 HOW TO BE A HARD WORKER. 408 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,646 THAT'S WHAT DAD WOULD'VE DONE WITH ME. 409 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,403 EDDIE. 410 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,472 [ SIGHS ] GO AHEAD AND GROUND ME. 411 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,640 AL MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA BE PLAYING "SHAQ FU" 412 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,743 FOR THE NEXT FOREVER ANYWAY, SO IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. 413 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,585 WHAT'S THIS? 414 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,753 50 SMALL. 415 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,222 TO BUY YOUR VIDEO GAME. 416 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,623 WHY? 417 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:09,129 BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HARD MAN TO BE A HARD WORKER. 418 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,636 THINK OF IT AS AN EARLY EGG DAY PRESENT. 419 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,173 OH, MY GOD. THIS PLACE IS PERFECT. 420 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,574 I THINK IT'S SO NICE 421 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,343 THAT YOU TWO ARE LOOKING FOR A PLACE TOGETHER. 422 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,112 I KNOW. IT'S KIND OF A BIG STEP. 423 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,614 YEAH, IT'S GREAT YOU GO TO OPEN HOUSES WITHOUT YOUR WIVES. 424 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,083 I WOULD HAVE TO DRAG LOUIS TO ONE OF THESE. 425 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,584 NO, WE'RE A COUPLE. 426 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:32,952 A COUPLE OF CATCHES! 427 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,421 NO, WE'RE IN LOVE. 428 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,624 WITH THESE COUNTERTOPS? HOW COULD YOU NOT BE? 429 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:38,891 GRANITE THROUGHOUT. 430 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,527 LADY, I DON'T THINK YOU... 431 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,961 REALLY? GRANITE? 432 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,530 YOU AGAIN?! 433 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,597 LOOK, I TOLD YOU 434 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,899 THE A/C IS ONLY FOR POTENTIAL BUYERS! 435 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,703 ACTUALLY, I AM SHOWING THE HOUSE TO THESE TWO BEST FRIENDS. 436 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,873 LOVERS, AND WE LOVE IT. WE'D LIKE TO MAKE AN OFFER. 437 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,442 OH! [ LAUGHS ] REALLY? 438 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,743 [ SQUEALS ] THAT'S FANTASTIC! 439 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,944 [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ] 440 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,713 OH, WELL WE'RE LISTED AT $229,000. 441 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,881 $229,000? OKAY. 442 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,750 ANDY, RANDY, LET'S GO. 443 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,118 WHERE ARE WE GOING? 444 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,420 WE'RE GOING DOWNTOWN TO PICK UP A PROSTITUTE 445 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:10,056 SO ASHLEY ALEXANDER CAN BEND HER OVER AND... 446 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,724 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] ...HER, TOO. 447 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,825 [ GASPS ] 448 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,429 [ PEN SCRATCHES ] 449 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,331 DOORBELLS WORK. 450 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,067 [ SIZZLES ] Mitch: OHH! 451 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,569 OH. DAMN IT, NANCY! 452 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,237 [ SIZZLES ] AAH! 453 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,772 [ SIZZLES ] [ PANTING ] AAH! 454 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,241 HEY, DAD. 455 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,410 EDDIE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 456 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,978 I WENT TO THE MALL TO BUY "SHAQ FU," 457 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,113 BUT SOMETHING DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT. 458 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:37,484 I DON'T WANT A HANDOUT. I WANNA EARN IT MYSELF. 459 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,690 I DIDN'T HAVE MY REALIZATION UNTIL AFTER I BOUGHT THE GAME. 460 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,492 KEEP IT SAFE FOR ME. 461 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:48,495 WELL, YOU ARE 40 MINUTES LATE. 462 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,997 DOCK ME. 463 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:55,768 *** 464 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,970 HAPPY TO SEE YOUR FAJITA BOY? 465 00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,972 THAT'S NO FAJITA BOY. 466 00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:03,109 THAT'S A FAJITA MAN. 467 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,278 Emery: SO HOT. 468 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,480 JUST SO HOT. [ DOOR CLOSES ] 469 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,661 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 470 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,563 EDDIE'S PIMP WALK. 471 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,731 WHAT'S A PIMP? 472 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,466 YOUR MOMMY, THAT'S WHO. 473 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,500 BOOM! 474 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,570 I JUST SOLD A HOUSE! I AM A REALTOR NOW! 475 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,206 ASHLEY ALEXANDER FROM RED DOOR REALTY 476 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,974 SAYS THAT I'M A TOUGH NEGOTIATOR. 477 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,175 [ CHUCKLES ] ALSO, I FOUND OUT 478 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,644 WHAT RUINED THE MILLERS' MARRIAGE. 479 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,978 MALE INFERTILITY. 480 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,513 NO MOTORCYCLES FOR YOU THREE! 481 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:43,416 JESSICA, YOU CAN'T JUST SAY YOU'RE A REALTOR. 482 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,219 YOU GOTTA TAKE AN EXAM, GET A LICENSE. 483 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,520 YES, YES, YES. 484 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,757 ALSO, YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SELL A HOUSE... 485 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,191 WHICH I ALREADY DID! 486 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,593 [ LAUGHS ] 487 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,263 I WAS BORN TO DO THIS! COME ON, LET'S CELEBRATE! 488 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,097 HEY, BOYS, GO AHEAD. 489 00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,100 CRANK UP THE A/C TO "LOW." 490 00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,670 Louis: UH-OH! [ LAUGHS ] A/C! 491 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,738 A/C! Emery: RUN! 492 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,607 OH, HO HO! UH-OH! UH-OH! 493 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,276 [ CHEERING ] 494 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,844 HEY, LET'S DO YOUR PIMP WALK! MOMMY'S... 495 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,513 All: A REAL-ESTATE PIMP! 496 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,716 Louis: UH-OH! A REAL-ESTATE PIMP! 497 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,085 A REAL-ESTATE PIMP! 498 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:21,454 A REAL-ESTATE PIMP! 499 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:26,559 GO, MOM! GO, MOM! GO, MOM! GO, MOM! 500 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,899 SO HOW WAS IT? 501 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,434 HOW WAS "SHAQ FU"? 502 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,870 VERY THOROUGH INSTRUCTION MANUAL. 503 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,273 YEAH. YEAH. 504 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:43,876 THE GAME JUST BOOTS RIGHT UP, TOO. NO DELAYS. 505 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,946 YEAH, QUICK BOOT. QUICK BOOT. 506 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:50,116 SHAQ CAN THROW WIND AT PEOPLE. 507 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,551 THAT WAS PRETTY COOL. 508 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,787 YEAH. HE WEAPONIZED THE WIND. 509 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,122 IT SUCKS, DOESN'T IT? 510 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,290 SO HARD. I HATE IT. 511 00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,158 I CAN'T EVEN EAT. 512 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:01,428 WOW. WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT DAVE GOT THE BEST GAME? 513 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,962 [ FANFARE PLAYS ] 514 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,764 [ FIREWORKS EXPLODING, PEOPLE CHEERING ] 515 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:08,501 [ MIDI INSTRUMENTAL OF "9 TO 5" PLAYING ] 516 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,275 EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK! 517 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:19,946 YOU C HAVE IT ALL, LADIES!