1 00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:04,872 * TO THE BEAT, CH'ALL 2 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,807 * AH, YEAH 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,542 * CRUEL TO THE RULES OF THE WORLD * 4 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,811 * LIVE MY LIFE RAW 'CAUSE I NEVER LIKED THE LAW * 5 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,147 * WEAR TOP TENS, ON MY ASS USE JEANS * 6 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,249 * SELLIN' BIG EIGHTS AND TIT-FOR-TAT TO THE FIENDS * 7 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,186 * CLOCK MUCH DOLLARS, BUT I NEVER BREAK A SWEAT * 8 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,221 * TIME TO MOVE OUT, MY POSSE SAYIN' BET * 9 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,156 * IF I WAS THE PRESIDENT, THEN I WOULD STATE FACTS * 10 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,058 * YOU LEAVE IT UP TO ME, I'LL PAINT THE WHITE HOUSE BLACK * 11 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,193 * IT AIN'T NO FUTURE IN YOUR FRONTIN' * 12 00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,860 * TO THE BEAT, CH'ALL 13 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,230 * TO THE BEAT, CH'ALL 14 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,865 * THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE IN YOUR FRONTIN' * 15 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,734 * TO THE BEAT, CH'ALL 16 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,536 [ MUZAK PLAYING ] Eddie: MOM, CHECK IT. 17 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:36,737 FRESH AS HELL, RIGHT? 18 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,172 EDDIE, DON'T SAY "HELL." 19 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,040 HE ALSO SAID "BUTTHOLE" IN THE CAR. 20 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,210 SHUT UP, EVAN, YOU LITTLE CHINESE NARC! 21 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,244 ISN'T THAT NECKLACE HEAVY? 22 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,712 LIFE'S HEAVY, SON. 23 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,115 PLEASE, MOM, CAN I GET THIS? 24 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,749 HOW MUCH? 25 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,719 TOO MUCH. 26 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,222 Eddie: MOMS THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS TOO MUCH. 27 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:57,225 SHE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU COULDN'T HAGGLE AT JCPenney. 28 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,393 IT'S LIKE, "THOSE ARE SET PRICES, MOM." 29 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,129 [ INTRO TO "BIG POPPA" PLAYS ] 30 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:04,732 THAT'S ME, YOUR BOY EDDIE HUANG IN THE HEADPHONES. 31 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,467 MY FAMILY WAS MOVING FROM WASHINGTON, D.C., 32 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,901 TO ORLANDO, FLORIDA. 33 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:11,939 I WAS 11 YEARS OLD, AND IT WAS 1995. 34 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:15,476 THIS IS THE STORY OF MY FAMILY, AN AMERICAN FAMILY, THE HUANGS. 35 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,944 THAT'S MY DAD. 36 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,746 HE LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT AMERICA. 37 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,748 FULL-ON BOUGHT INTO THE AMERICAN DREAM. 38 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,283 MOMS WAS ALWAYS HARD ON ME 39 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,485 WAY BEFORE ALL THAT "TIGER MOM" STUFF. 40 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,220 SHE THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO CAUSE TROUBLE 41 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,489 WEARING THAT NAS SHIRT, BUT SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. 42 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,991 IF YOU WERE AN OUTSIDER, HIP-HOP WAS YOUR ANTHEM. 43 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,627 AND I WAS DEFINITELY THE BLACK SHEEP IN MY FAMILY. 44 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,164 THESE OTHER PEOPLE ARE EMERY, EVAN, AND GRANDMA. WHATEVER. 45 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,998 WAS I EXCITED ABOUT THE MOVE? NO. 46 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,933 DID ANYONE ASK ME IF I WAS EXCITED? 47 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,569 HELL, NO. 48 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,638 BUT IT'S HARD GETTING RESPECT WHEN YOU'RE 11. 49 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:48,008 * I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG POPPA * 50 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,177 * THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE -- ** 51 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,944 * I SAW THE SIGN 52 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:53,781 * AND IT OPENED UP MY EYES, I SAW THE SIGN * 53 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,283 UGH, DAD! * LIFE IS DEMANDING 54 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,284 TURN OFF THE MUSIC! 55 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,351 * WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING 56 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,819 [ VOLUME DECREASES ] 57 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,955 EDDIE, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT EXCITED TO LEAVE D.C., 58 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,857 BUT YOU'RE GONNA LOVE ORLANDO. 59 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,294 I'VE BEEN THERE FOR SIX MONTHS SETTING UP THE RESTAURANT, 60 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,661 AND I'VE GROWN TO LOVE IT 61 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,463 LIKE THE DAUGHTER WE WISHED EVAN HAD BEEN. 62 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,832 HMM? I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO MOVE. 63 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,967 WHY COULDN'T YOU KEEP ON GOING BACK AND FORTH 64 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,303 BETWEEN ORLANDO AND D.C.? 65 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,970 BECAUSE I DIDN'T COME TO AMERICA 66 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,472 TO WORK FOR YOUR MOM'S BROTHER 67 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,508 SELLING FURNITURE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 68 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,975 YOUR FATHER IS RIGHT. 69 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,545 THIS IS WHY WE LEFT CHINATOWN IN D.C. 70 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,348 THIS IS WHY WE LEFT OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 71 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,649 EXACTLY. 72 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,318 THIS IS WHY WE LEFT EVERYTHING WE KNOW 73 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,985 TO COME TO A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW NOTHING 74 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,522 AND WHERE THE HUMIDITY IS NOT GOOD FOR MY HAIR. 75 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,324 RIGHT, OKAY. AND FOR WHAT? 76 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,392 SO YOUR FATHER CAN OWN A COWBOY RESTAURANT. 77 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,561 IT'S CALLED CATTLEMAN'S RANCH STEAKHOUSE, 78 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,663 AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU ALL TO SEE IT. 79 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,897 IT IS BEAUTIFUL. 80 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,999 IT IS BIG, BROWN, AND BEAUTIFUL. 81 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,835 LIKE SHAQ? EXACTLY LIKE SHAQ. 82 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,003 WHY YOU LIKE SHAQ SO MUCH? 83 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,340 WHY YOU NOT LIKE PETE SAMPRAS? 84 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,542 SO SEXY. ALL THAT HAIR. 85 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,843 HE'S OKAY. 86 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:58,412 OH, YOUR FAVORITE SONG. 87 00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,713 [ VOLUME INCREASES ] 88 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,349 * LET'S REALLY SHOW IT, DARLING * 89 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:04,652 * LET'S GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT * 90 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,153 * SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT 91 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,989 * A LITTLE MYSTERY TO FIGURE OUT * 92 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,524 * SOMETHING TO * 93 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,092 * SHIMMY SHIMMY YA, SHIMMY YAM, SHIMMY YAY * 94 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,528 * GIVE ME THE MIKE SO I CAN TAKE IT AWAY * 95 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,530 * OFF ON A NATURAL CHARGE, BON VOYAGE * 96 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,432 Eddie: LOT OF WHITE FOLKS HERE. 97 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,200 Emery: NOT LIKE BACK IN D.C. 98 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,535 YEAH. 99 00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,703 THE ONLY WHITE PEOPLE WE EVER SAW THERE 100 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,272 WERE THE TOURISTS WHO GOT LOST. 101 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:28,809 [ Enunciating ] WHITE. HOUSE. 102 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,180 HEY, YOU BOYS JUST GONNA SIT THERE 103 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,215 OR PICK UP A BOX AND HELP? 104 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,418 MOM, IS THERE A CHINATOWN IN ORLANDO? 105 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,687 HEY, NO MORE QUESTION, BARBARA WALTERS. 106 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,088 PICK UP A LAMP. 107 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,728 WELL, HI. WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 108 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,563 I'M DEIDRE. THIS IS AMANDA. THIS IS SAMANTHA. 109 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,031 THIS IS LISA. THIS IS CAROL-JOAN. 110 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,400 WELCOME. THANK YOU. 111 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,034 I'M JESSICA. OH. 112 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,869 I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE EXOTIC, 113 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,237 BUT I LOVE THE NAME JESSICA. 114 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,606 HAD A SORORITY SISTER WITH THAT NAME. 115 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,207 SHE DIED IN A HORRIBLE RIPTIDE ACCIDENT, 116 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,075 BUT WE DEDICATED A SECTION OF THE HIGHWAY TO HER. 117 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,077 ANYWAY, WHERE YOU GUYS FROM? 118 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,713 MY PARENTS WERE BORN IN TAIWAN, 119 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,615 BUT MY BROTHERS AND I WERE BORN IN D.C. 120 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,417 OH! YOUR ENGLISH IS VERY GOOD! 121 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,451 [ CHUCKLES ] 122 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,253 ARE YOU ALL SISTER? 123 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,788 [ LAUGHTER ] 124 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,724 ANYHOO, WELL, WE'VE GOT TO MOTOR, 125 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,626 BUT WE GO ROLLERBLADING EVERY DAY, 126 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,628 SO IF YOU EVER WANT TO JOIN US, JUST GIVE US A HOLLER. 127 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,262 [ WOMEN GIGGLE ] 128 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,764 COME ON. 129 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,400 THE LOUDEST ONE SEEM TO BE THEIR QUEEN. 130 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,468 [ DOOR CLOSES, LOUIS CLAPS ] 131 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,637 SO, WHO'S HUNGRY? 132 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,574 THE CACTUSES WERE PLANTED IN OLD SPITTOONS. 133 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:37,578 I WANTED IT TO BE AUTHENTIC, YOU KNOW, LIKE THE REAL WILD WEST. 134 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,012 THE WAITERS USED TO WEAR SPURS, 135 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,948 BUT THEY WERE RIGHT AT ACHILLES LEVEL, 136 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,016 SO WE HAD TO SWITCH TO THE BLACK REEBOKS. 137 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,184 RIGHT, NANCY? 138 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,653 I GOT SLICED UP PRETTY BAD. 139 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,654 [ LAUGHS ] 140 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,356 SHE DID. [ CHUCKLES ] 141 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,758 DUDE, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE? 142 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,593 I DON'T THINK SHAQ EATS HERE. 143 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,628 WERE THERE BEARS IN THE OLD WEST? 144 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,365 NI TàI MNLE. 145 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:02,302 WHERE ARE ALL THE CUSTOMER? 146 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,304 TECHNICALLY, WE ARE STILL IN OUR SOFT OPENING, SO -- 147 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,206 LOUIS, THERE IS HARDLY ANYONE HERE, 148 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,308 AND THAT TABLE IS ONLY DRINKING WATER. 149 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:11,144 HEY, WHY YOU NOT DRINK BEER?! 150 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,846 THE RESTAURANT IS DOING WELL, OKAY? 151 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,482 JUST NOT AS WELL AS IT COULD BE. 152 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,049 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 153 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,150 BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER REASON 154 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:18,886 NOT TO MOVE HERE. 155 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,989 I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHY THE PEOPLE AREN'T COMING. 156 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,524 MAYBE IT'S THE FOOD. 157 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,858 IT'S NOT THE FOOD. 158 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,326 THE FOOD IS PERFECT. 159 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,695 HECTOR'S A GENIUS. 160 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,598 [ CHUCKLES ] 161 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,839 CAN I SIT NEXT TO YOU ON THE BUS? 162 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,574 SURE. IF YOU WANT. 163 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,043 ME AND EMERY ARE GONNA SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON OUR BUS. 164 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,512 YOU'RE ON A DIFFERENT BUS 165 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,547 BECAUSE YOU'RE AT A DIFFERENT SCHOOL, 166 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,716 SO I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'LL SIT NEXT TO. 167 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,351 DEFINITELY NOT EMERY, THOUGH. HE'LL BE NEXT TO ME. 168 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,887 OH, SHUT UP, EVAN. 169 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,889 MOM, WHY DO WE HAVE TO START SCHOOL ON A WEDNESDAY? 170 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,190 WHY CAN'T WE WAIT TILL MONDAY? 171 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,826 WHY WAIT? YOU NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL 172 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,694 SO YOU GO TO COLLEGE SO YOU CAN MAKE LOTS OF MONEY. 173 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,062 ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS MONEY. 174 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,064 DO ME A FAVOR. GO FIND A HOMELESS MAN. 175 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,767 ASK HIM IF HE THINKS MONEY MATTERS. YOU TELL ME WHAT HE SAYS. 176 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,868 YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THE EGGS. 177 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,403 EDDIE, EGGS ARE LIFE. 178 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,071 YOU CAME FROM MY EGGS. 179 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,608 OKAY, SO... 180 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,611 I WANT YOU ALL TO BE POLITE, 181 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,379 RESPECTFUL, AND DON'T MAKE WAVES. 182 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,748 WHY YOU ONLY LOOKING AT ME? 183 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,215 NO, I'M TALKING TO ALL OF YOU. 184 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,917 DUDE, YOU WERE LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. 185 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,422 OKAY, I WAS TALKING TO YOU. 186 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,792 WHY DO ALL YOUR SHIRTS HAVE BLACK MEN ON THEM? 187 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,461 IT'S NOTORIOUS B.I.G.! 188 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,729 ME AND HIM ARE BOTH DUDES WITH MAD DREAMS, 189 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,432 JUST TRYING TO GET A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT IN THE GAME, 190 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,633 JUST TRYING TO GET A NUT. 191 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,234 Louis: JESSICA, I FIGURED IT OUT. 192 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,236 DAD, HOW COME WE HAVE TO START SCHOOL ON A WEDNESDAY? 193 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,772 THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION. GO TO SCHOOL. 194 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,906 GO, GO, GO, GO. 195 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,374 [ SIGHS ] 196 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,776 I WAS BLOW-DRYING MY HAIR, AND I FIGURED IT OUT -- 197 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,578 HOW THE RESTAURANT CAN ATTRACT BIGGER CROWDS. 198 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:51,745 WELL, HOW? 199 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,247 I NEED TO HIRE A WHITE HOST. 200 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,717 INSTEAD OF PEOPLE COMING IN AND SEEING A CHINESE FACE 201 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,085 AND SAYING, "HUH? 202 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,820 I THOUGHT THIS WAS AN OLD WEST STEAKHOUSE," 203 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:03,090 THEY SEE A WHITE FACE AND SAY, "OH, HELLO, WHITE FRIEND. 204 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,458 I AM COMFORTABLE." 205 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,494 SEE? 206 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,995 EXACTLY. NOT WELCOMING. 207 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:11,231 THAT'S WHY NO TO YOUR FACE AND YES TO THE WHITE FACE! 208 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,968 NICE, HAPPY WHITE FACE, LIKE BILL PULLMAN. 209 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,504 [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] 210 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,271 CLASS, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A NEW STUDENT. 211 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,441 I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE UNORTHODOX BEING A WEDNESDAY AND ALL, 212 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,243 BUT I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO GIVE A WARM, 213 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,814 ABRAHAM LINCOLN MIDDLE SCHOOL WELCOME TO... 214 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,850 "HUNG-GE YI MINGE." 215 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,018 YEAH, CALL ME EDDIE. 216 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,119 OH, THANK GOD. 217 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,493 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 218 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,207 WHAT'S UP? COOL IF I SIT? 219 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,308 NO. 220 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,146 FINE, BUT DON'T TRY TO TALK TO ME. 221 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,380 I DON'T LIKE KIDS. 222 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,349 MY BEST FRIEND IS A 40-YEAR-OLD MAN. 223 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,588 YO. YO, CHINESE KID. 224 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,992 WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN? SOMETHING CHINESE? 225 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,994 MY NAME'S EDDIE. 226 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,863 EDDIE? 227 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,033 YOU INTO B.I.G.? 228 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,536 YEAH, MAN. HE'S SICK. 229 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:24,905 I BOUGHT "READY TO DIE" THE DAY IT CAME OUT. 230 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,574 YOU BOUGHT IT? I STOLE IT. 231 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,675 [ CHUCKLES ] 232 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,910 YO, COME SIT WITH US. YEAH? 233 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,179 OKAY, MAN. COOL. 234 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:37,017 A WHITE DUDE AND AN ASIAN DUDE BONDING OVER A BLACK DUDE. 235 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,687 [ SIGHS ] THIS CAFETERIA'S RIDICULOUS. 236 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,088 SO, I'M EDDIE. 237 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,355 WHAT'S UP? Brock: HEY, DUDE. 238 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,657 WHAT'S UP, MAN? 239 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,158 YEAH, SO MY COUSIN TOLD ME ABOUT B.I.G. 240 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,894 WHEN I WENT TO VISIT HIM LAST SUMMER, AND HE -- 241 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,196 OH! WHAT IS THAT?! GROSS! 242 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,731 IT'S CHINESE FOOD. MY MOM MADE IT. 243 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,099 GET IT OUT OF HERE! OH, MY GOD! 244 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,067 YING DING'S EATING WORMS. 245 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,368 [ LAUGHTER ] 246 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,237 GO! GO! OH! GET THAT OUT OF HERE! 247 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,007 GO! DUDE, THAT SMELLS NASTY! 248 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,241 [ LAUGHTER ] 249 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,680 OH, IT DIDN'T GO WELL? 250 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,416 THE WHITE PEOPLE DIDN'T WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS? 251 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:12,586 WHAT? SIT ELSEWHERE, B.I.G. 252 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,062 OH, I CANNOT BELIEVE JAKE SLEPT WITH BRITTANY. 253 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,697 HE KNEW PALMER WOODWARD WAS USING HER 254 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,298 AS PART OF A PLOT TO DESTROY HIM 255 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,301 AND HELP AMANDA TAKE CONTROLLING INTEREST OF MELROSE PLACE. 256 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,469 RIGHT, JESSICA? 257 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,238 YES. ALL THOSE WHITE PEOPLE 258 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,373 SOUND LIKE THEY ARE MAKING MISTAKE. 259 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,975 OH, THE SCHOOL BUS IS HERE! 260 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,144 I SHOULD GO SEE HOW MY BOYS' DAY WAS. 261 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,411 OKAY, SUGAR. 262 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,380 BYE. I'M MAKING YOU A MIXTAPE. 263 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,915 I HOPE YOU LIKE ERIC CLAPTON. 264 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:42,916 [ LAUGHTER ] 265 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,252 THANK YOU. 266 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,453 Jessica: HEY. 267 00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:47,621 SO, HOW WAS YOUR FIRST -- 268 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,756 THEY SAID MY LUNCH SMELLED! 269 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,157 IT SMELLED DELICIOUS? 270 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,759 NO, THEY SAID IT STANK, MOM! 271 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,260 I HAD TO EAT BEHIND THE GYM 272 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,995 WHERE THE JANITOR FLIES HIS KITE. 273 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,798 THIS IS NICE. 274 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,902 WELL, THOSE KIDS, THEY JUST DON'T KNOW, THAT'S ALL. 275 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,238 IT JUST -- IT JUST TAKE TIME TO GET USED TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 276 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,908 I HATE IT HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK TO D.C. 277 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,110 EDDIE, THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. WE ARE HERE NOW. 278 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,779 WE HAVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT. 279 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,280 LIKE I AM DOING WITH THESE NEIGHBORHOOD WOMEN. 280 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,849 YOU THINK I LIKE PRETENDING 281 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:19,653 SAMANTHA ISN'T CARRYING A BAGGIE OF DOG POOPS IN HER HAND? 282 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:23,490 NO! I DON'T LIKE THIS! WE ALL SEE THE POOPS THERE! 283 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,325 IT'S ROLLING AROUND! BUT I AM TRYING! 284 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,994 YOU HAVE TO TRY, TOO. 285 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,595 YOU'RE NEVER ON MY SIDE. 286 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,798 EDDIE. EDDIE, WAIT! 287 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,500 Emery: HEY, MOM. 288 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,802 THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, KIM. 289 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,436 HI, MRS. HUANG. 290 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,305 I'M GONNA WALK HER HOME, OKAY? BYE, MRS. HUANG. 291 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,440 Evan: MOM. 292 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:44,011 THERE'S A FAT KID AT SCHOOL NAMED J.J., AND HE'S HILARIOUS. 293 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,813 HELP MOMMY. 294 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,151 COMIC SANS. THAT'S A FUNNY FONT. 295 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,152 THANK YOU. 296 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,721 IT'S A GREAT RéSUMé. 297 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,689 YEAH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK AT A GOLDEN SADDLE. 298 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,657 THIS ISN'T A GOLDEN SADDLE. 299 00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,127 YES, IT IS. ISN'T IT? THIS IS CATTLEMAN'S RANCH. 300 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,229 BUT I THOUGHT LIKE A SPIN-OFF OF GOLDEN SADDLE 'CAUSE IT'S GOT ALL THE SAME STUFF. 301 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,331 IT'S NOT THE SAME STUFF. IT'S VERY DIFFERENT STUFF. 302 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,665 WELL, THAT BEAR IS THE SAME. 303 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,467 NO, THAT BEAR IS BROWN. 304 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,069 AT GOLDEN SADDLE, THE BEAR IS BLACK. 305 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,871 THE SNAKE SKINS? DIFFERENT SNAKE. 306 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,505 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SNAKE. 307 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,141 OKAY, YEAH. LOOK, YOU'RE THE BOSS. 308 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,843 [ LAUGHS ] IF YOU TELL ME THIS IS NOT A GOLDEN SADDLE, 309 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,244 I'M GONNA BELIEVE YOU. NO, IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. 310 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,478 YOU'RE CRAZY. I AM. 311 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,913 I'M -- I MEAN, I'M NOT SUPER CRAZY, 312 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,815 'CAUSE IT DOES LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. 313 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,417 THIS IS THE ORIGINAL CATTLEMAN'S RANCH STEAKHOUSE. 314 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,254 SO THERE'S MORE THAN ONE? N-NO, THERE'S JUST ONE. 315 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,422 THERE'S NO OTHER RESTAURANT LIKE IT, OKAY? 316 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,358 OKAY. OKAY. 317 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,393 SO, MITCH, TELL ME -- WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 318 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,527 ORLANDO, BORN AND RAISED. 319 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,763 [ SIGHS ] I LOVE ORLANDO. 320 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,731 WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA SEE AN ALLIGATOR 321 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,566 RUN OUT ON THE STREET AND EAT A CAT? 322 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,868 I AM A CAT PERSON, TOO. 323 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,069 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 324 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,771 THAT'S GOOD. YEAH. 325 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,472 MITCH, YOU'RE HIRED. 326 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,778 WELL, EVAN IS NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY. 327 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,280 HIS FAT FRIEND J.J. GAVE HIM STRING CHEESE, 328 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,782 AND APPARENTLY, HE IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT. 329 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,284 HIS BODY IS REJECTING WHITE CULTURE, 330 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,119 WHICH MAKE ME KIND OF PROUD. 331 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,954 GOOD JOB, EVAN. 332 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,956 MOM, NO! I DON'T WANT CHINESE LUNCH! 333 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,524 I WANT WHITE-PEOPLE FOOD! 334 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,693 THE KIDS AT SCHOOL WILL GET USED TO IT! 335 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,096 UGH! YOU'RE NEVER ON MY SIDE. 336 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,937 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 337 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,906 YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY LUNCH TO EAT. 338 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,373 I'LL BE FINE. 339 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,075 KIDS AREN'T TEASING YOU ABOUT YOUR LUNCH? 340 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,576 NO, NOT YET. THEY WILL. 341 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:25,645 PEOPLE HERE SUCK. TOTALLY. 342 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,547 HEY, EMERY! HEY, WHAT'S UP? 343 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,549 OH, HEY, EMERY. YOU COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY NEXT WEEKEND? 344 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,818 HEY, GEORGE. I'LL BE THERE. 345 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:34,154 HEY, BOO. GOT YOU A SODA. 346 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,923 WHY AREN'T CHICKS BRINGING ME SODA? 347 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,357 YOU WANT IT TOO MUCH. 348 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,060 Louis: HEY, MITCH. 349 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,628 HEY. HOW'S THE LUNCH... 350 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,432 ...CROWD? 351 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,000 IT'S STILL THE SAME? 352 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,268 I JUST THINK WE HAVE TO GIVE IT TIME, YOU KNOW? 353 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,569 GET THE WORD OUT THERE. NO. 354 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,438 I MOVED MY WHOLE FAMILY HERE FOR THIS. 355 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,007 I NEED YOUR CAUCASIAN FEATURES TO WORK NOW! 356 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,742 MY WIFE IS NOT A PATIENT WOMAN. 357 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,345 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES SHE TRIED TO START A GARDEN? 358 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,613 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WOMAN YELLING AT SEEDS? 359 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,615 "GROW! GROW!" I HEAR YOU. 360 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,185 YOU KNOW, MY MOM IS THE WORST ROOMMATE. 361 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,655 IT'S LIKE, IF YOU'RE MAKING TOAST, MAKE US BOTH TOAST. 362 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,524 UH, THAT'S WHY THERE'S TWO SLOTS, YOU KNOW? 363 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,464 Jessica: I TALKED TO MY SISTER TODAY. 364 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,032 MY BROTHER BOUGHT A BRAND-NEW MIATA. 365 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,368 IT'S NOT NEW. THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAR IS NEW. 366 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,502 I THINK IT'S NEW. NO. 367 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,503 NEW. NO. 368 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,737 IT'S NOT NEW. 369 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,308 EDDIE, WHY ARE YOU EATING SO MUCH? 370 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,542 I'M HUNGRY. 371 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,944 DIDN'T YOU EAT YOUR LUNCH TODAY? 372 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,545 YEAH, BUT I'M STILL HUNGRY. 373 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,847 OH, OKAY. 374 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,782 HOW YOU LIKE THE XIAOLONGBAO I PACK YOU? 375 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,816 IT WAS REALLY GOOD. 376 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:37,985 LIAR. 377 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,553 I DID NOT PACK XIAOLONGBAO! 378 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,891 OKAY. FINE. 379 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,558 I THREW MY LUNCH AWAY. 380 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,060 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, EDDIE! Louis: COME ON, EDDIE. 381 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,295 THAT'S WASTEFUL, MAN. THIS IS GOOD FOOD I MAKE. 382 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,997 YOU LOVE MY FOOD. 383 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,065 I NEED WHITE-PEOPLE LUNCH. 384 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,901 THAT GETS ME A SEAT AT THE TABLE. 385 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,536 AND THEN YOU GET TO CHANGE THE RULES. 386 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,471 REPRESENT, LIKE NAS SAYS. 387 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,574 I'M NOT TRYING TO EAT WITH THE JANITOR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 388 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,510 I GOT BIG PLANS. 389 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,812 FIRST, GET A SEAT AT THE TABLE. 390 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,881 SECOND, MEET SHAQ. 391 00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:10,250 THIRD, CHANGE THE GAME. 392 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,253 POSSIBLY WITH THE HELP OF SHAQ. 393 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,156 DAMN IT, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 394 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:20,160 THAT FILTHY MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO TURNED YOU INTO A POET, BOY. 395 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,429 OKAY. 396 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,764 WHAT IS THIS WHITE-PEOPLE LUNCH? 397 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,770 WHAT IS THIS STORE SO EXCITED ABOUT? 398 00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:34,274 THIS IS WHERE LUNCHABLES LIVE, MOM. 399 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:38,611 IF WE GET SEPARATED, TRY AND JOIN A WHITE FAMILY. 400 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:42,515 YOU WILL BE SAFE THERE UNTIL I CAN FIND YOU. 401 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,259 WHOA. 402 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,928 THIS IS NOT HOW I LIKE TO SHOP. 403 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,764 THIS PLACE LOOKS LIKE A HOSPITAL. 404 00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,032 [ SIGHS ] 405 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,867 I MISS THE TAIWANESE MARKETS BACK IN D.C. 406 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,535 THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO CALM. 407 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,405 [ SHOUTING IN CHINESE ] 408 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,513 [ SIGHS ] 409 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,216 WOW. 410 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,219 EVERYTHING FITS PERFECTLY INSIDE THE BOX. 411 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,720 AWESOME! 412 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,323 YOU WANT TO FIT INSIDE A BOX? 413 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,992 THAT'S SO AMERICAN. 414 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,294 WHY ARE YOU SO AMERICAN? 415 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,628 FIESTA TORTILLA CHIP? FREE SAMPLE. 416 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,498 THIS IS FREE? OKAY! 417 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,605 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 418 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,240 EVERYONE GETTING READY FOR THE SHOOT? YOU GOOD, NANCY? 419 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,275 CAN I HAVE SATURDAY OFF? I'M DEEJAYING A BAT MITZVAH. 420 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,943 NOPE. 421 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,079 HEY, JOE, NO MARGARITAS TILL AFTER THE SHOOT, OKAY? 422 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,415 [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY. 423 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,317 HEY, MR. CATTLEMAN. 424 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,918 HOW WE FEELING? WE ALL READY TO GO? 425 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,453 UH, NOT REALLY. 426 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,188 I FEEL LIKE I'VE TOLD YOU NUMEROUS TIMES. 427 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,457 I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, BUT ALL YOU DO IS SMILE AND NOD. 428 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,958 [ CHUCKLES ] 429 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,827 NO, YOU'RE DOING IT. NO, THAT -- YOU'RE DOING IT. 430 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,595 WHAT IS ALL THIS, LOUIS? 431 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,432 WE ARE SHOOTING A LOCAL COMMERCIAL. 432 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,633 [ CHUCKLES ] 433 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,835 A COMMERCIAL? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 434 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,970 HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST US?! 435 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,772 COME HERE. COME ON. 436 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,376 I MISS OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. 437 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,811 AND EDDIE'S HAVING A HARD TIME AT SCHOOL. 438 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,713 AND EVAN IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT. 439 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,115 AND EMERY -- 440 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,217 WELL, EMERY'S DOING SURPRISINGLY WELL. 441 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,054 BUT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE STUPID RESTAURANT, 442 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,988 WHICH IS THE WHOLE REASON I AGREED TO MOVE HERE! 443 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,857 BECAUSE YOU SAY IT WAS DOING WELL! 444 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,560 IT'S NOT DOING WELL! AND SO I AM WORRIED ABOUT MONEY. 445 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,895 AND LOOK AT MY HAIR! 446 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,897 MY HAIR IS TERRIBLE! 447 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,367 YOUR HAIR IS TERRIBLE, BUT SO WAS MINE. 448 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,302 AND I FIXED IT USING PRODUCT. 449 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,404 I LOVE THAT YOU HAVE BIG DREAMS, 450 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,040 BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE EVERYTHING, LOUIS. 451 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,241 LET'S JUST GO HOME. 452 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,676 WE CAN'T DO THAT. WHY? 453 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,411 WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT WE HAD TO MOVE HERE 454 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,413 AND CHANGE OUR WHOLE LIVES? 455 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,749 SORRY TO INTERRUPT, MR. HUANG. 456 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,551 THE BURRO IS READY FOR BLOCKING. 457 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,921 THANK YOU, NANCY. 458 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,191 WE'LL DISCUSS THIS LATER. 459 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,226 [ SIGHS ] 460 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,763 [ CHATTER ] 461 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,065 OH, COOL. 462 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,866 YOU GOT TURKEY AND CHEESE LUNCHABLES? 463 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,703 I GOT PIZZA. 464 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,372 * THIS IS FOR THE Gz, AND THIS IS FOR THE HUSTLA * 465 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,441 * THIS IS FOR THE HUSTLAS 466 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,610 YO, MAN! WHAT YOU DOING?! 467 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,778 GET USED TO IT. YOU'RE THE ONE AT THE BOTTOM NOW. 468 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:26,879 NO, I'M NOT! 469 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,281 YEAH, YOU ARE! 470 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,649 IT'S MY TURN, CHINK! 471 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,952 [ CHATTER STOPS ] 472 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,893 * THIS IS FOR THE Gz, AND THIS IS FOR THE HUSTLA * 473 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,895 * THIS IS FOR THE HUSTLAS, NOW BACK TO THE Gz * 474 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,298 Hunter: AND ACCORDING TO THE LUNCH MONITOR, 475 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,300 HE KICKED HIM IN THE GROINAL AREA, 476 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,768 SHOVED PUDDING IN HIS FACE, 477 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,903 AND UNLEASHED A STREAM OF OBSCENITIES 478 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,706 I CAN'T REPEAT BECAUSE GOD IS LISTENING. 479 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,209 THERE WERE SOME WORDS HE USED THAT I'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE, 480 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,878 AND I GREW UP IN BOSTON. 481 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:03,216 THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS OFFENSE, MR. AND MRS. HUANG. 482 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,018 YES, IT IS. WE ARE VERY UPSET... 483 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,823 ...THAT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DEFEND EDDIE. 484 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,326 EXCUSE ME? 485 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,927 THAT BOY CALLED OUR SON A CHINK. 486 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,229 YOU THINK THAT'S OKAY? 487 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,964 WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT? 488 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,566 HOW COME ONLY EDDIE'S OUT THERE?! 489 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,434 HOW COME THAT BOY IS NOT ALSO OUT THERE?! 490 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,635 WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS?! 491 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,271 OR HIS 40-YEAR-OLD BEST FRIEND? 492 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,773 AND WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE HAS A... 493 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,241 Both: 40-YEAR-OLD BEST FRIEND?! 494 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,076 THE SCHOOL'S FINE WITH THAT? FISHY. 495 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,944 I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. 496 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,414 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT POSSIBLE SUSPENSION. 497 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,317 IF YOU TRY TO SUSPEND OUR SON BECAUSE OF THIS, 498 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,752 WE WILL SUE EVERYONE IN THIS SCHOOL. 499 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,922 SO FAST, IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN. 500 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,992 HEY, IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY, RIGHT? 501 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,260 YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT. 502 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,395 [ CHUCKLES ] 503 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,934 OH, I, UM, HAVE A COUPON FOR YOU. 504 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,437 OH, YES. IT'S A RESTAURANT CALLED CATTLEMAN'S RANCH. 505 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,605 SPECIAL. 506 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,273 YOU GET A FREE ONION BLOSSOM 507 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,309 WITH THE PURCHASE OF ANY ENTREE, BUT YOU HAVE TO BUY A DRINK. 508 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,312 W-WHY DID YOU STAND UP FOR ME? 509 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,314 YOU DO YOUR BEST NOT TO MAKE WAVES, 510 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,450 BUT I WILL NEVER BE MAD AT YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF. 511 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,618 THIS IS WHY. 512 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,152 THIS IS WHY WHAT? 513 00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,687 THIS IS WHY WE MOVED HERE. 514 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,689 I'M SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO EDDIE, 515 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,658 BUT IT'S GOING TO MAKE HIM STRONGER. 516 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,460 IN FACT, US COMING TO THIS NEW PLACE 517 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,695 IS GOING TO MAKE US ALL STRONGER. 518 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:25,131 I CAME DOWN HERE, AND I OPENED A WILD WEST RESTAURANT 519 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,634 BECAUSE THIS IS THE WILD WEST -- 520 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,803 A LAWLESS LAND FOR ONLY THE BRAVEST OF FAMILIES! 521 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,506 THERE IS OPPORTUNITY HERE 522 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,508 TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR OUR FAMILY. 523 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,877 I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR YOUR BROTHER FOREVER. 524 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,646 NO. ME? 525 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,314 I GOT BIG DREAMS. 526 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,882 I GOT BIG PLANS. 527 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,852 THINGS WERE OKAY FOR US BACK IN D.C., 528 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,821 BUT I WANT MORE THAN OKAY FOR US. 529 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,157 YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET A NUT, DAD. 530 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,792 [ CHUCKLES ] 531 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,364 I WANT MORE THAN OKAY FOR US, TOO. 532 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,399 I AM WITH YOU. 533 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,201 NUT FOR ME, ALSO. 534 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,942 BUT THIS IS NOT THE WEST. THIS IS THE SOUTH. 535 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,879 IF WE WANT TO GO WEST, WE SHOULD GO TO CALIFORNIA. 536 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,282 DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE CALIFORNIA IS? 537 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,184 THIS IS WEST FOR US. THIS IS FINE. 538 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,553 [ "BIG POPPA" PLAYS ] WHEN YOU LIVE IN A LUNCHABLES WORLD, 539 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,290 IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY BEING HOMEMADE CHINESE FOOD. 540 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,024 BUT IT'S ALSO WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL. 541 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,459 MY FAMILY WAS GONNA CREATE THEIR PLACE IN ORLANDO, 542 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,295 AND WE'RE GONNA DO IT OUR WAY, 543 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,129 BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE 544 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,431 IN ORDER TO BELONG. 545 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,866 YEAH, SON. 546 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,936 * THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, IF YOUSE A TRUE PLAYER * LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT. 547 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,038 * I LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG POPPA * LIKE B.I.G. SAID, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW. 548 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,973 * REPRESENT, BABY, BABY UHH! 549 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,480 HEY, Y'ALL. 550 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,382 WHEN MY NECK GETS RED 551 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:53,219 'CAUSE OF MY WHITE SKIN IS OUT IN THE YELLOW SUN, 552 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,989 I LIKE TO COME HERE TO CATTLEMAN'S RANCH, 553 00:20:57,023 --> 00:21:01,093 WHERE I CAN GET COMFORTABLE AMONG PEOPLE OF MY OWN KIND, 554 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:05,665 MAYBE MEET MY WIFE OR MY COUSIN OR MY COUSIN-WIFE 555 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,768 FOR AN ONION BLOSSOM FOR ONLY $2.99. 556 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,571 TELL 'EM I SENT YOU. WHO AM I? 557 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,942 CATTLEMAN MITCH AND HIS PAL, ERIC THE DONKEY. 558 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,444 [ DONKEY BRAYS ] 559 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:20,246 [ LAUGHS ] 560 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,616 I THINK WE REALLY HAVE SOMETHING HERE. 561 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,619 -- Captions by VITAC --