1 00:00:06,334 --> 00:00:13,471 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ 2 00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:15,473 ♪ With the kids jingle belling 3 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:21,021 ♪ And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" ♪ 4 00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:22,553 - Good evening, mayor! - Good evening, mayor! 5 00:00:22,641 --> 00:00:23,654 Hello, boys! 6 00:00:23,742 --> 00:00:25,701 You look dashing in your top hats. 7 00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:27,764 Check your trouser flap, young man. 8 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,857 I was wide open, guys. Thanks. 9 00:00:32,078 --> 00:00:38,041 ♪ It's the hap-happiest season of all ♪ 10 00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:39,715 You're looking well, Mayor. 11 00:00:39,802 --> 00:00:41,027 Thank you, butcher. 12 00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,286 Care for some ham? 13 00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:43,632 No ham for me. 14 00:00:43,719 --> 00:00:45,634 I'm already full with joy. 15 00:00:46,612 --> 00:00:48,426 Beautiful wreath, you two! 16 00:00:48,514 --> 00:00:50,887 Much less tacky than last year. 17 00:00:51,121 --> 00:00:52,308 We're learning. 18 00:00:52,396 --> 00:00:53,873 It's a Douglas fir. 19 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,418 Uhp! 20 00:00:55,506 --> 00:00:58,295 You missed some trash, waste gatherers. 21 00:00:58,520 --> 00:00:59,654 Yes, Mayor. 22 00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:01,722 This bag is very wet. 23 00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:03,304 ♪ There'll be scary ghost stories ♪ 24 00:01:03,391 --> 00:01:05,006 ♪ And tales of the glories 25 00:01:05,094 --> 00:01:09,959 ♪ Of Christmases long, long ago ♪ 26 00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:11,659 Ho ho ho, Mayor Jessica. 27 00:01:11,747 --> 00:01:13,401 Heard you were building us a new library. 28 00:01:13,488 --> 00:01:15,998 You heard right, Lao Ban Santa. 29 00:01:16,988 --> 00:01:19,101 ♪ There'll be much mistletoeing ♪ 30 00:01:19,189 --> 00:01:20,843 ♪ And hearts will be glowing 31 00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:23,977 ♪ When loved ones are near 32 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,763 ♪ It's the most wonderful time 33 00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:32,551 ♪ Of the yeeeeeeeear 34 00:01:32,639 --> 00:01:33,824 Uh, Jessica? 35 00:01:33,912 --> 00:01:37,033 Well, look who decided to finally roll out of bed. 36 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,404 It's 5:00 in the morning. 37 00:01:38,492 --> 00:01:39,771 The day after Thanksgiving. 38 00:01:39,859 --> 00:01:42,209 I'm still more turkey than man. Can this wait until later? 39 00:01:42,297 --> 00:01:45,300 No. Jessica Town is in full swing. 40 00:01:45,469 --> 00:01:47,652 The Christmas season has officially begun, 41 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,263 and there's no time to waste. 42 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:52,545 Eddie, your pajama flap is open. 43 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:53,826 I know. 44 00:01:54,408 --> 00:01:56,410 Captions by VITAC... 45 00:01:56,637 --> 00:01:57,748 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 46 00:01:57,836 --> 00:01:59,560 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 47 00:01:59,648 --> 00:02:01,646 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 48 00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:02,896 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 49 00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:05,107 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 50 00:02:05,202 --> 00:02:06,747 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪ *FRESH OFF The BOAT* 51 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,097 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪ *FRESH OFF The BOAT* 52 00:02:08,185 --> 00:02:09,685 Season 06 Episode 10 Episode Title :"Jessica Town" 53 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,246 Mmm. 54 00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:13,129 Thanksgiving leftovers are the best. 55 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,590 You guys should have tasted my pancakes with turkey gravy. 56 00:02:15,693 --> 00:02:17,732 Why would... He's a human sewer. 57 00:02:19,042 --> 00:02:23,045 Ooh. Our community parkis building an ice rinkfor the holidays. 58 00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:25,115 Ice skating in Florida... what an era. 59 00:02:25,393 --> 00:02:26,481 We should go together. 60 00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:28,352 We haven't gonesince the boys were born. 61 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,144 Louis, it's 1999. 62 00:02:31,232 --> 00:02:33,315 It's the last Christmas of the century... 63 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,054 No, the millennium. 64 00:02:35,142 --> 00:02:37,144 It has to be perfect. 65 00:02:37,271 --> 00:02:40,935 I'm marking the occasion with a stunning monument... 66 00:02:41,053 --> 00:02:43,527 A life-size gingerbread house on our lawn. 67 00:02:43,615 --> 00:02:45,279 Take a look at my prototype. 68 00:02:46,370 --> 00:02:50,014 Behold the flawless candy-cane gutters. 69 00:02:50,862 --> 00:02:53,075 Although, they'll be a bitch to clean once the leaves fall. 70 00:02:53,162 --> 00:02:55,510 Jessica, instead of addingto your list of holiday tasks, 71 00:02:55,597 --> 00:02:56,857 you should be subtracting. 72 00:02:56,945 --> 00:02:58,764 We lose you for the whole month of December. 73 00:02:58,852 --> 00:03:01,193 Well, people expect a lot from me at Christmas. 74 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,327 My cards, my caroling solos, 75 00:03:03,438 --> 00:03:06,139 the boys with their unique Christmas requests. 76 00:03:06,263 --> 00:03:08,241 Hey, boys, what do you wantfor Christmas this year? 77 00:03:08,328 --> 00:03:09,498 - Gift card. - Gift card. 78 00:03:09,615 --> 00:03:10,652 See? 79 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:12,223 It gets simpler nowthat they're getting older. 80 00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:13,271 Let's go skating. 81 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,006 What if I get hurt on the ice? 82 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:17,428 What if somebody slams into me, breaking my bones? 83 00:03:17,516 --> 00:03:19,146 Come on. Your skeleton? Strong. 84 00:03:19,234 --> 00:03:21,271 Can't risk it. Who would do all my work? 85 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,394 The holiday perfection I've become famous for 86 00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:24,582 would be ruined. 87 00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:25,670 Oh, I got to run. 88 00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:27,063 Tinsel goes on sale today, 89 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:29,576 and I refuse to buy any that's already been touched. 90 00:03:31,386 --> 00:03:34,824 Oh, no. Look at that huge bear. 91 00:03:35,053 --> 00:03:37,073 Quick! Drop the salmon and... 92 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,605 Ugh. Read me in again. 93 00:03:38,693 --> 00:03:39,465 - Ugh. - Evan, 94 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,816 go from your line about the river. 95 00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:43,819 Stop whining. Emery needs our help. 96 00:03:43,906 --> 00:03:44,912 Thanks, Grandma. 97 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,615 Let's go find somewhere else to rehearse. 98 00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:49,646 It should always be about the family. 99 00:03:49,886 --> 00:03:53,333 Just like in this play, "Wyoming Family." 100 00:03:56,397 --> 00:03:58,280 Way to tank those linesso we could get out of this. 101 00:03:58,367 --> 00:03:59,560 Smart. 102 00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:01,894 Going through the motions. That's my thing. 103 00:04:01,982 --> 00:04:03,443 Hey, guys. 104 00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:06,100 Do you mind hiding my Christmas gift for Marvin? 105 00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:07,912 All he does is snoop for presents, 106 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,288 and I'd feel better if I kept it here. 107 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:11,334 Sure, Honey. What'd you get him? 108 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:16,636 It's... a maritime nutcracker. 109 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,975 It combines his three favorite things... 110 00:04:19,063 --> 00:04:20,576 Snacks, the Navy, and wood. 111 00:04:20,664 --> 00:04:22,123 I'll be back later to wrap it. 112 00:04:22,211 --> 00:04:23,232 Thank you. 113 00:04:23,693 --> 00:04:25,538 There's no way this dude can crack a nut. 114 00:04:25,626 --> 00:04:27,952 You'd be surprised by the amount of force a lever can generate. 115 00:04:28,039 --> 00:04:28,997 It's physics. 116 00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,347 Nerd, please. 117 00:04:30,435 --> 00:04:31,990 Are you doubting me? 118 00:04:32,078 --> 00:04:33,644 Take this pistachio. 119 00:04:35,671 --> 00:04:38,225 See? Formidable... like Mom's skeleton. 120 00:04:38,557 --> 00:04:40,943 Now, let's add a lever to the equation. 121 00:04:44,531 --> 00:04:45,581 Awesome. 122 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:46,889 Levers. 123 00:04:46,977 --> 00:04:48,123 Let's go bigger. 124 00:04:48,211 --> 00:04:50,909 Now you're talking. There's no stoppin' us now. 125 00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:53,948 We pushed him too far. 126 00:04:54,036 --> 00:04:55,115 It was the jawbreaker. 127 00:04:55,203 --> 00:04:56,944 It says itright in the damn name. 128 00:04:57,032 --> 00:04:58,131 Relax, bro. 129 00:04:58,219 --> 00:04:59,647 We'll replace it before Honey finds out. 130 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:00,951 How much could it cost? 131 00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:04,398 "Handmade in Germany by real Germans." 132 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:06,748 It's $400! 133 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:09,283 Why does Germany always have to go over the top? 134 00:05:12,065 --> 00:05:13,818 Are those my Christmas cards? 135 00:05:13,906 --> 00:05:15,029 Dad did them for you. 136 00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:17,115 He seemed happy to use the rest of his tuba stamps. 137 00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:19,662 Went on a big rant about postage going up again next year. 138 00:05:19,757 --> 00:05:22,325 Tubas don't represent Christmas. 139 00:05:23,732 --> 00:05:25,998 And he scribbled the addresses. 140 00:05:26,086 --> 00:05:28,100 Where's the elegant calligraphy? 141 00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:30,967 Stupid tuba hippo. 142 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,162 What in the name of Lao Ban? 143 00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:42,631 Hey! What are you guys going? 144 00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:44,396 We decided to change things up. 145 00:05:44,484 --> 00:05:46,755 Yeah. The butcher gave us the idea. 146 00:05:46,843 --> 00:05:47,951 Mm-hmm. 147 00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:49,678 How about this sassy brass? 148 00:05:55,881 --> 00:05:56,993 I'm out of cash. 149 00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,537 I spent it on Tina's gift a brown weave belt. 150 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:01,111 The whole thing is belt holes. 151 00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:02,243 How 'bout you? 152 00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:03,549 I've got nothing. 153 00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:06,134 All my extra money is tied up in mutual funds. 154 00:06:06,268 --> 00:06:08,111 We don't have anywhere close to $400 155 00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:09,292 to buy a new nutcracker. 156 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:10,965 We have to tell Honey what happened. 157 00:06:11,053 --> 00:06:13,534 And risk getting in trouble and losing our Christmas gift cards? 158 00:06:13,621 --> 00:06:15,464 I'm spending mine on a certificate to Taco Bell 159 00:06:15,552 --> 00:06:17,691 so I can crush tacos whenever I want. 160 00:06:17,779 --> 00:06:20,495 Wait, you're using a gift card to buy a gift card? 161 00:06:20,583 --> 00:06:21,871 You've got to spend money to make money. 162 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:23,113 We're not telling Honey. 163 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,136 We'll just do what I always do when I make a mistake... 164 00:06:25,223 --> 00:06:26,268 cover it up. 165 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,519 I don't know. Sounds delinquent. 166 00:06:28,607 --> 00:06:31,956 Sure. My way sometimes gets messy, but it always works out. 167 00:06:32,044 --> 00:06:34,503 I've broken plenty of things and never gotten caught. 168 00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:36,601 You think that's your original watch? 169 00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:39,777 That watch was a birthday gift from my pen pal in Ecuador. 170 00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,258 Well, this one's from Sears. 171 00:06:41,641 --> 00:06:43,191 I don't know. Seems wrong. 172 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,316 Evan, think aboutall the stress confessing would cause everyone. 173 00:06:46,546 --> 00:06:48,839 Honey? Mom? 174 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,449 You want to ruin Christmas? 175 00:06:52,108 --> 00:06:53,136 Okay. 176 00:06:53,224 --> 00:06:54,486 Let's do it your way. 177 00:06:55,855 --> 00:06:58,290 Also, what happened to my old watch? 178 00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,329 Long story short, it's in Trent's dog. 179 00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:03,502 Oh, hey. 180 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,089 You see how I, uh, knocked out all the Christmas cards? 181 00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,308 I sure did. 182 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:09,730 Great. Then let's lace upsome steel and hit the rink. 183 00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:10,659 I packed some singles, 184 00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:13,097 so maybe we can tip our wayinto a Zamboni ride. 185 00:07:13,185 --> 00:07:14,308 No Zamboni. 186 00:07:14,396 --> 00:07:17,965 I have to stay and fix everything you did wrong. 187 00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,058 I seal each one with a kiss. 188 00:07:22,146 --> 00:07:23,887 Nobody knows, but I know. 189 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,026 Okay. 190 00:07:26,058 --> 00:07:27,407 I think you're going overboard. 191 00:07:27,511 --> 00:07:29,849 I think you should leave Christmas to the professionals. 192 00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:31,287 You thought I had little time before? 193 00:07:31,374 --> 00:07:32,723 Now I have no time at all. 194 00:07:32,935 --> 00:07:34,839 I mean, look at this calligraphy. 195 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:37,183 It could have come straight from the Vatican. 196 00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:42,736 You're redoing the envelopes just 197 00:07:42,824 --> 00:07:44,634 because I used the wrong stamps? 198 00:07:44,722 --> 00:07:46,337 I don't see what the big deal is. 199 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,861 My Christmas cards kick off the holiday season, 200 00:07:48,949 --> 00:07:51,492 and everyone expects perfection from me. 201 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:53,761 Okay, I knew you were particular about Christmas... 202 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:54,894 Particular? 203 00:07:54,982 --> 00:07:57,534 I've been fine-tuning the details for years. 204 00:07:57,622 --> 00:07:59,066 I don't improvise. 205 00:07:59,154 --> 00:08:02,402 This is Christmas, not some sleazy jazz concert. 206 00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:03,777 Understood. I just didn't know 207 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:05,475 it went all the way down to envelopes. 208 00:08:05,563 --> 00:08:06,903 But now that I know, I can help out, 209 00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,067 and then we can go skating. 210 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,511 I don't think that's a good idea. 211 00:08:09,599 --> 00:08:12,091 Let's see... stockings need hanging, wine needs mulling. 212 00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:13,590 Come on. How hard could it really be? 213 00:08:13,677 --> 00:08:14,644 Okay. You want to help? 214 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,464 You just drew gingerbread house. 215 00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,346 What? But that's your showstopper. 216 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,205 Well, you said all this was easy, right? 217 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,339 The grand unveiling is set for the end of the week. 218 00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:25,087 It's B-Y-O-E-N. 219 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,603 Bring your own eggnog. 220 00:08:28,235 --> 00:08:29,579 Oh. 221 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,734 You want me to work at the mall as a Christmas elf? 222 00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:33,587 Yep. 223 00:08:33,675 --> 00:08:35,374 All you got to do is fill out that application. 224 00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:36,572 Under emergency contact, 225 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,706 put Cindy Crawford. See what happens. 226 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,650 Why would I ever want to do this? 227 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:44,837 Well, for starters, it'll help your acting career. 228 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,220 Think of all the great character work that you'd do. 229 00:08:47,441 --> 00:08:49,705 I heard that "The Mummy's" very own Brendan Fraser 230 00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:50,955 got his start as a mall elf. 231 00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,681 You'll also get a 30% mall discount 232 00:08:52,769 --> 00:08:54,658 that we can all share. Think about it. 233 00:08:54,746 --> 00:08:56,478 Just like that, a $400 Christmas gift 234 00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:58,133 becomes $280. 235 00:08:58,711 --> 00:09:00,533 You broke Honey's nutcracker, didn't you? 236 00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:01,947 It was his quick math, wasn't it? 237 00:09:02,035 --> 00:09:03,351 Fine. We broke it. 238 00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:05,173 But even with my job at Cattleman's, 239 00:09:05,261 --> 00:09:07,244 we still can't afford to buy a new one. 240 00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:08,533 And I don't meet the age 241 00:09:08,621 --> 00:09:10,189 and height requirements for elf duty, 242 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,001 which feels backwards, but hey, rules are rules. 243 00:09:13,089 --> 00:09:15,111 Sorry, guys, but this isn't my fight. 244 00:09:15,199 --> 00:09:17,163 Wait. What about what Grandma said 245 00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:18,611 about doing things for the family? 246 00:09:19,009 --> 00:09:20,884 Come on, Emery. Your brothers are down. 247 00:09:20,972 --> 00:09:22,384 It's Christmas. Help us out. 248 00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:23,525 For the family. 249 00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,580 Okay. For the family. 250 00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:26,582 My man! 251 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,019 Hey, while you're there, 252 00:09:28,107 --> 00:09:29,908 do you mind putting in a good word for me with Santa? 253 00:09:29,995 --> 00:09:31,595 It's been a real up-and-down year for me. 254 00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,423 How's it coming? 255 00:09:34,511 --> 00:09:36,212 Awfully messy. 256 00:09:36,338 --> 00:09:38,024 Well, it's this damn frosting. 257 00:09:38,112 --> 00:09:40,612 It's basically concrete... Solidifies instantly. 258 00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:42,791 Doesn't bode wellfor the real thing. 259 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:43,931 Maybe I should take over. 260 00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:45,267 Nope. I've got it. 261 00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:47,401 Um, quick question... I ate a lot of this. 262 00:09:47,489 --> 00:09:48,751 How worried should I be? 263 00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:53,484 Thank you all for coming. 264 00:09:53,572 --> 00:09:56,218 It is good to show interest in your local government, 265 00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:57,848 even though this isn't a democracy. 266 00:09:57,936 --> 00:09:59,962 The butcher's influenceis spreading, 267 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,661 first with the tuba music and then with the ugly signs. 268 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:04,541 Yeah, and then you reward him with a contract 269 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:05,948 to build our new library? 270 00:10:06,035 --> 00:10:07,104 Yes, our beautiful new library 271 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,367 that will be filled with only one book... 272 00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:09,586 My novel... yes. 273 00:10:09,674 --> 00:10:11,589 Oh! This is too much for a meat vendor! 274 00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:14,854 Exactly. Once that simple butcher sees how hard it is, 275 00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:17,162 he'll quit, and then I, your mayor, 276 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,860 will come in and save the day. 277 00:10:18,948 --> 00:10:20,384 But what if he pulls it off? 278 00:10:20,472 --> 00:10:22,392 Please. That would take a miracle. 279 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,482 We live in a town where it's Christmas year-round. 280 00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:26,744 Miracles happen all the time. 281 00:10:30,414 --> 00:10:31,869 Big shift at Cattleman's today. 282 00:10:31,957 --> 00:10:33,221 - Sold a guy some ribs... - Mm. 283 00:10:33,308 --> 00:10:34,345 - ..and my socks. - Ugh. 284 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,017 What? You know what? 285 00:10:36,128 --> 00:10:37,284 We need money. I don't want to know. 286 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,384 There he is. 287 00:10:39,546 --> 00:10:41,845 How was your first day at work, champ? 288 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,244 It was awful. 289 00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:44,666 Elfing's the worst. 290 00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:46,553 Awful, like, in a good way? 291 00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:49,376 There was an endless line of people, parents shoving, 292 00:10:49,464 --> 00:10:50,517 babies crying. 293 00:10:50,605 --> 00:10:52,126 And Santa's no picnic, either. 294 00:10:52,214 --> 00:10:54,378 "Hey, elf! I said skimmilk." 295 00:10:54,683 --> 00:10:56,103 Emery, this sounds terrible. 296 00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:57,714 Emery? Who's Emery? 297 00:10:57,946 --> 00:10:59,494 My name's Jingles now. 298 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:01,228 I'm gonna go to bed. 299 00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:02,822 I hate myself. 300 00:11:05,036 --> 00:11:06,533 We can't let him go back there. 301 00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:09,048 Hey, this is what you signed up for, remember? 302 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:12,470 You knew my way could get messy, but it works. 303 00:11:12,818 --> 00:11:16,822 If Santa's drinking skim, what chance do any of us have? 304 00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:20,447 So, we got to make this, but life-size? 305 00:11:20,535 --> 00:11:22,345 She's got a rain shower in the half-bath. 306 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,158 You don't make anything easy, do you, boss? 307 00:11:24,246 --> 00:11:26,001 I give you three days of vacation a year. 308 00:11:26,089 --> 00:11:27,103 That's pretty easy. 309 00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,369 And I'm easy on the eyes. That's two easys. 310 00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:30,908 How come you stopped screaming 311 00:11:30,996 --> 00:11:32,307 and banging your head against the walls? 312 00:11:32,394 --> 00:11:33,431 Is everything okay? 313 00:11:33,519 --> 00:11:35,666 Everything's great. Some might say easy. 314 00:11:35,754 --> 00:11:36,737 Whoa. That's three. 315 00:11:36,825 --> 00:11:37,868 What's that smell? 316 00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:39,854 We got some fresh gingerbread cooking in the oven... 317 00:11:39,941 --> 00:11:40,813 Homemade recipe. 318 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,962 Trent's gonna help me start throwing up some walls. 319 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,212 Oh, my God. It's a Christmas miracle. 320 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,517 I told you. It's not that hard. Anyone could do it. 321 00:11:47,605 --> 00:11:49,189 Really? So, 322 00:11:49,277 --> 00:11:51,533 then you'd be okay if I moved the unveiling up to, 323 00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:52,666 say, tomorrow? 324 00:11:53,094 --> 00:11:54,830 Give the neighborhood a few extra days 325 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,080 to enjoy your handiwork. 326 00:11:56,168 --> 00:11:57,650 Uh, tomorrow? 327 00:11:57,738 --> 00:11:59,189 That's, like, one day from now. 328 00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:00,837 Oh, unless you can't handle it? 329 00:12:01,201 --> 00:12:02,845 Nope. We've got it. 330 00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,682 If we can handle Catfish Wednesdays at Cattleman's, 331 00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:06,759 - we could handle anything. - I'm sure you can. 332 00:12:06,847 --> 00:12:09,593 I can't wait to see how your homemade recipe 333 00:12:09,681 --> 00:12:12,783 accounts for Florida's relentless swamp humidity. 334 00:12:15,092 --> 00:12:17,018 I'll be honest, boss... No way this gingerbread house 335 00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:18,089 can be built by tomorrow. 336 00:12:18,177 --> 00:12:20,745 And I say that as a ginger myself... one who eats bread. 337 00:12:24,129 --> 00:12:25,957 Alright, bro. You loose? 338 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,199 Need another Tic Tac? 339 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,597 I can't go back out there. 340 00:12:30,006 --> 00:12:31,791 It's almost over. 341 00:12:31,879 --> 00:12:33,222 I'm picking up another shift at Cattleman's, 342 00:12:33,309 --> 00:12:35,433 and Evan's closing a deal right now as we speak. 343 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,199 We're all in this together. 344 00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:38,644 For the family. 345 00:12:38,952 --> 00:12:39,980 For the family. 346 00:12:40,068 --> 00:12:42,636 Now go out there and throwsome kids in that old man's lap. 347 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,238 Hello, good sir. Nice location. 348 00:12:47,326 --> 00:12:50,155 Donations for the Toys for Totsbin are right over there. 349 00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:53,865 No, I'm actually here to trade for one of your nutcrackers. 350 00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:55,925 Sorry, kid. Cash only. 351 00:13:01,495 --> 00:13:03,725 Hey, Evan! What are you doing here? 352 00:13:03,828 --> 00:13:05,598 I'm allowed to be here! What are you doing here?! 353 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,628 Uh... Wh... Marvin found the stocking stuffers I got him, 354 00:13:08,716 --> 00:13:10,848 so I just had to come get some aftershave. 355 00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,449 Thank God you guys are hiding his main gift. 356 00:13:13,537 --> 00:13:15,660 You are gonna make his Christmas morning. 357 00:13:15,748 --> 00:13:16,948 You know the Huang brothers... 358 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,996 Always dependable, rock steady. 359 00:13:19,084 --> 00:13:20,886 Oh, well, someone should tell Emery that, 360 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,246 because that kid is in pieces. 361 00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:27,761 I just saw him wiping his tears with a paper snowflake. 362 00:13:28,055 --> 00:13:30,971 Anyway, I will come by later to wrap that gift. 363 00:13:46,141 --> 00:13:47,636 How'd it go with the Beanie Babies? 364 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,668 Fine. It went fine. 365 00:13:49,935 --> 00:13:51,808 Emery doesn't have to work as an elf anymore. 366 00:13:51,896 --> 00:13:53,768 Really? That's great news! 367 00:13:53,856 --> 00:13:55,075 So, how much did you get for them? 368 00:13:55,162 --> 00:13:57,121 Is this a "pizza's on Evan" situation? 369 00:13:57,865 --> 00:14:00,175 I stole the nutcracker! 370 00:14:00,263 --> 00:14:01,613 Aah! I'm too pretty for jail! 371 00:14:06,355 --> 00:14:08,515 This is one high-class garland. 372 00:14:08,603 --> 00:14:11,488 Gar-land is where Garfield is from. 373 00:14:11,576 --> 00:14:13,371 Jessica! Hurry! I need you! 374 00:14:13,537 --> 00:14:15,918 I knew he didn't have it in him. 375 00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,330 Wow. 376 00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:21,355 It's worse than I thought. 377 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,535 It's perfect. 378 00:14:22,623 --> 00:14:23,683 Perfect? 379 00:14:23,814 --> 00:14:26,851 This looks like a place where gingerbread men go to O.D. 380 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,590 No way. 381 00:14:28,753 --> 00:14:32,365 No, it represents the humble spirit of Christmas... 382 00:14:32,453 --> 00:14:35,238 Before everything became so over-the-top. 383 00:14:35,397 --> 00:14:37,497 Well, as tempting as it looks, don't take a bite. 384 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:38,543 It's all nails. 385 00:14:38,631 --> 00:14:40,254 Everyone loves Louis' idea. 386 00:14:40,342 --> 00:14:41,535 Scaling back. 387 00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:43,691 Simple. Genius. 388 00:14:45,106 --> 00:14:48,080 I'm loving this music! 389 00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:49,572 And I'm loving this clapping! 390 00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:52,823 Constable Bryson, 391 00:14:52,911 --> 00:14:55,217 arrest those two for disorderly conduct. 392 00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:56,976 Sorry, ma'am, but you no longer 393 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,558 have that kind of authority. 394 00:14:58,659 --> 00:15:00,027 You're not the mayor anymore. 395 00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:02,449 What? Well, if I'm not, then who is? 396 00:15:04,420 --> 00:15:06,097 I give you... 397 00:15:06,701 --> 00:15:08,167 your new library. 398 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,823 What about all the money that's supposed to make it look nice? 399 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,941 I used it to build an ice rink. 400 00:15:14,943 --> 00:15:16,308 Yes! 401 00:15:19,908 --> 00:15:22,183 I'll admit, the time crunch had me nervous. 402 00:15:22,271 --> 00:15:23,809 Couldn't get to all the bell sand whistles, 403 00:15:23,896 --> 00:15:25,378 but people love it. 404 00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:28,170 Thanks, Louis. You ruined my Christmas. 405 00:15:29,953 --> 00:15:32,536 Hey, you really should get on to to this nog, Lou. 406 00:15:32,943 --> 00:15:35,441 It's only 2,000 calories a glass. 407 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:46,160 Um... what are you doing to my sit-down hairdryer? 408 00:15:46,285 --> 00:15:49,206 Making a joke out of something you love, like you did to me. 409 00:15:49,294 --> 00:15:51,959 Jessica, I thought you'd be happy with my gingerbread house. 410 00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:53,347 Please. 411 00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:54,827 You built a shack. 412 00:15:54,915 --> 00:15:57,745 Look, I know it's not Princess Jasmine's Arabian fortress, 413 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:58,988 but everyone loves it. 414 00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:00,425 Isn't that all that matters? 415 00:16:00,513 --> 00:16:02,253 Christmas is my holiday. 416 00:16:02,403 --> 00:16:03,949 It has to be perfect. 417 00:16:04,037 --> 00:16:07,566 Not quickly pushed through, not scaled back... perfect. 418 00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,700 Well, you know what a perfect Christmas is to me? 419 00:16:09,787 --> 00:16:11,370 Spending time with you. 420 00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,206 The chair looks beautiful. 421 00:16:18,804 --> 00:16:20,415 What came over you, man? 422 00:16:20,556 --> 00:16:22,645 I've never stolen anything in my life... 423 00:16:22,772 --> 00:16:25,277 I mean, a few hearts, sure, but never a piece of property. 424 00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:26,925 Shh! Lower your voice. 425 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:28,956 She's watching "Die Hard." 426 00:16:29,045 --> 00:16:30,253 If Bruce Willis is on TV, 427 00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,598 the rest of the world fades away. 428 00:16:31,685 --> 00:16:34,019 Yippee-ki-ay! 429 00:16:34,107 --> 00:16:35,417 I don't know what happened back there. 430 00:16:35,504 --> 00:16:37,730 I saw the nutcracker. Honey showed up. 431 00:16:37,818 --> 00:16:38,950 Emery was crying. 432 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:40,822 Next thing you know, I'm outside the mall. 433 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:41,964 It's like I blacked out. 434 00:16:42,052 --> 00:16:43,386 This is really hard-core. 435 00:16:43,474 --> 00:16:45,214 Now we're sitting on a hot nutcracker. 436 00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:46,691 I'm gonna have to go on the run. 437 00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:47,867 Start a new life. 438 00:16:47,955 --> 00:16:49,285 This is all my fault. 439 00:16:49,439 --> 00:16:51,484 I was the one who pushed you to do things my way. 440 00:16:51,572 --> 00:16:53,331 You never told me to steal, Eddie. 441 00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:55,456 We should have just told Honey, like you said. 442 00:16:55,544 --> 00:16:57,019 Well, it's too late now. 443 00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:58,412 I'll have to wear a fake mustache 444 00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,893 until I can grow one on my own. 445 00:16:59,981 --> 00:17:01,069 Let's just... 446 00:17:01,157 --> 00:17:02,899 return the nutcrackerand come clean to Honey. 447 00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:04,988 - We're gonna be in so much trouble. - No. 448 00:17:05,084 --> 00:17:06,378 I'm taking all the blame. 449 00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:07,824 What about the consequences? 450 00:17:07,912 --> 00:17:09,130 Your Christmas gift card? 451 00:17:09,218 --> 00:17:10,222 Yeah, I know. 452 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,660 I'm really hoping this scoresme some points with Santa. 453 00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:14,918 Or Jesus. Whoever's listening. 454 00:17:15,006 --> 00:17:17,008 Now, come on. Let's go call Honey. 455 00:17:17,734 --> 00:17:21,808 Hans Gruber is actually the hero of this story. 456 00:17:22,246 --> 00:17:24,667 This must be what King Kong feels like. 457 00:17:34,302 --> 00:17:36,144 You do this all day? 458 00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:38,878 Put on cheap makeup and pick up trash? 459 00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:41,589 Um, I did find an almost-untouched BLT once, 460 00:17:41,677 --> 00:17:43,026 so it's not always terrible. 461 00:17:43,472 --> 00:17:44,525 Oh. 462 00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:46,636 Look at all those couples spending time together. 463 00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:48,895 I mean, that's what Christmas is all about. 464 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,558 Shame we can't join them. 465 00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:53,370 We're too busy working around the clock, 466 00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:55,410 picking up trash so the town looks perfect. 467 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,238 How'd it go with Operation Stolen Nutcracker Return? 468 00:18:02,326 --> 00:18:05,417 Success. I told the vendor I was cleaning it in Santa's workshop. 469 00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:07,270 Everyone trusts a kidwearing bells. 470 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,532 Ha! 471 00:18:08,728 --> 00:18:10,904 Isn't this wrapping paper perfect? 472 00:18:11,093 --> 00:18:12,870 Navy blue? 473 00:18:13,572 --> 00:18:16,314 Because the nutcracker's clearly a naval officer. 474 00:18:17,059 --> 00:18:19,003 Eh, you know what? Marvin will appreciate it. 475 00:18:19,091 --> 00:18:21,644 Yeah. About that gift... 476 00:18:21,753 --> 00:18:24,452 We... Good-looking jaws on this one. 477 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:25,845 Cherish him. 478 00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:27,349 Ohh! 479 00:18:27,747 --> 00:18:30,128 Thank you for keeping it safe, guys. 480 00:18:32,183 --> 00:18:34,774 I don't know how you resisted the urge to play with this guy. 481 00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,995 You have more will power than me. 482 00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:39,245 Whoa, G-ma. 483 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,542 Why'd you bail us out? 484 00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:43,096 I overheard you were in trouble, 485 00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:45,949 so I did it for the family. 486 00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:47,495 - For the family. - For the family. 487 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,472 Nice chimney. Peppermint bark? 488 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,589 It was a milk crate from the shed. 489 00:18:59,677 --> 00:19:02,652 I didn't mean to crap so hard on your gingerbread house. 490 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,331 I was just worried that Christmas would be ruined 491 00:19:05,419 --> 00:19:06,410 if I didn't make it perfect. 492 00:19:06,498 --> 00:19:07,831 It's what I'm known for. 493 00:19:07,919 --> 00:19:09,769 Christmas isn't about being perfect. 494 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,027 It's about being together. 495 00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:12,340 We just want to spend it with you, 496 00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:13,689 no matter how... 497 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:14,941 crappy it looks. 498 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,394 So, you see it, too? 499 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:22,589 I know you were just trying to help when you wrote those cards. 500 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,434 Want to skate circles around some teenagers? 501 00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:26,949 Disrupt their make-outs? 502 00:19:27,037 --> 00:19:29,488 Really? I thought you were worried about getting hurt. 503 00:19:29,576 --> 00:19:32,519 Fun fact... I'm good at everything I do. 504 00:19:32,698 --> 00:19:34,995 Besides, what is there left to do? 505 00:19:35,106 --> 00:19:37,238 You built the gingerbread house, 506 00:19:37,465 --> 00:19:39,238 and I see why everybody loves it. 507 00:19:39,326 --> 00:19:40,503 Well, don't look too close. 508 00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:42,653 I cut a few corners during construction. 509 00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:44,737 There's a rat in here! 510 00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,722 Boss, there's a rat in here! 511 00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:53,753 Yeah, 50 soft tacos, here I come! 512 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,479 Come on, Grandma. 513 00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:57,737 We're family. 514 00:20:02,664 --> 00:20:04,628 Well, Emery, at least you have one. 515 00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:07,197 Although, if we split it three ways... 516 00:20:07,285 --> 00:20:09,097 I'm spending mine at the spa. 517 00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:12,245 Oh, you look just like a candy cane. 518 00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:14,761 How you feeling? 519 00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:17,243 That was a pretty gruesome fall you took on the ice. 520 00:20:17,331 --> 00:20:18,777 Hey, at least it restored my faith 521 00:20:18,872 --> 00:20:20,605 in Orlando's medical response team. 522 00:20:20,693 --> 00:20:22,357 That ambulance came fast. 523 00:20:28,213 --> 00:20:30,222 Oh, Louis. 524 00:20:30,982 --> 00:20:33,214 You know these would have been 50% off tomorrow. 525 00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:34,917 - Jessica. - They're perfect. 526 00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:49,156 Hold my hand. I don't want to fall. 527 00:20:49,244 --> 00:20:53,452 Come on. You just push off to the sides, and go... like this! 528 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:54,568 - Oh! - Aah! 529 00:20:54,663 --> 00:20:56,116 - My arms! - Ooooooh. 530 00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,123 Ooooooh. Synchronized by srjanapala