1 00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:05,091 [ "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" plays ] 2 00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:14,666 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ 3 00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:16,668 ♪ With the kids jingle belling 4 00:00:16,711 --> 00:00:22,326 ♪ And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" ♪ 5 00:00:22,369 --> 00:00:23,762 Together:Good evening, Mayor! 6 00:00:23,805 --> 00:00:24,980 Hello, boys! 7 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,026 You look dashing in your top hats. 8 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,854 Check your trouser flap,young man. 9 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:33,250 I was wide open, guys. Thanks. 10 00:00:33,293 --> 00:00:39,299 ♪ It's the hap-happiest season of all ♪ 11 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,909 You're looking well, Mayor. 12 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,128 Thank you, butcher. 13 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,347 [ British accent ] Care for some ham? 14 00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:44,826 No ham for me. 15 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,785 I'm already full with joy. 16 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,396 Beautiful wreath, you two! 17 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,746 Much less tacky than last year. 18 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,357 We're learning. 19 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,228 It's a Douglas fir. 20 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,403 Uhp! 21 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:59,580 You missed some trash, waste gatherers. 22 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:00,842 Yes, Mayor. 23 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,540 This bag is very wet. 24 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,498 ♪ There'll be scary ghost stories ♪ 25 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,413 ♪ And tales of the glories 26 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:11,592 ♪ Of Christmases long, long ago ♪ 27 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,854 Ho ho ho, Mayor Jessica. 28 00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,595 Heard you were building us a new library. 29 00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:17,032 You heard right, Lao Ban Santa. 30 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,297 ♪ There'll be much mistletoeing ♪ 31 00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:22,037 ♪ And hearts will be glowing 32 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,171 ♪ When loved ones are near 33 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:28,957 ♪ It's the most wonderful time 34 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:33,005 ♪ Of the yeeeeeeeear 35 00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:34,572 Louis: Uh, Jessica? 36 00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:38,228 Well, look who decided to finally roll out of bed. 37 00:01:38,271 --> 00:01:39,794 It's 5:00 in the morning. 38 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,405 The day after Thanksgiving. 39 00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:44,103 I'm still more turkey than man. Can this wait until later? 40 00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:47,193 No. Jessica Town is in full swing. 41 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,239 The Christmas season has officially begun, 42 00:01:49,282 --> 00:01:50,849 and there's no time to waste. 43 00:01:50,892 --> 00:01:52,807 [ Sighs ] 44 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,418 Eddie, your pajama flap is open. 45 00:01:54,461 --> 00:01:56,289 I know. 46 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,378 --Captions by VITAC-- 47 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,771 ♪ Fresh off the boat 48 00:01:59,814 --> 00:02:01,468 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 49 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:03,644 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 50 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:05,080 ♪ Fresh off the boat 51 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:07,344 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 52 00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:08,693 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' 53 00:02:08,736 --> 00:02:10,260 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat 54 00:02:12,392 --> 00:02:13,350 Mmm. 55 00:02:13,393 --> 00:02:14,916 Thanksgiving leftovers are the best. 56 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,571 You guys should have tasted my pancakes with turkey gravy. 57 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,139 Why would -- He's a human sewer. 58 00:02:21,662 --> 00:02:24,448 Ooh. Our community parkis building an ice rinkfor the holidays. 59 00:02:24,491 --> 00:02:27,407 Ice skating in Florida --what an era. 60 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,582 We should go together. 61 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,454 We haven't gonesince the boys were born. 62 00:02:30,497 --> 00:02:32,717 Louis, it's 1999. 63 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,241 It's the last Christmas of the century -- 64 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,156 no, the millennium. 65 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,245 It has to be perfect. 66 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:42,683 I'm marking the occasion with a stunning monument -- 67 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,295 a life-size gingerbread house on our lawn. 68 00:02:45,338 --> 00:02:47,079 Take a look at my prototype. 69 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:51,649 Behold the flawless candy-cane gutters. 70 00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,608 Although, they'll be a bitch to clean once the leaves fall. 71 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:57,611 Jessica, instead of addingto your list of holiday tasks, 72 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,091 you should be subtracting. 73 00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:01,267 We lose you forthe whole month of December. 74 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,487 Well, people expect a lot from me at Christmas. 75 00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,619 My cards, my caroling solos, 76 00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,926 the boys with their unique Christmas requests. 77 00:03:07,969 --> 00:03:10,494 Hey, boys, what do you wantfor Christmas this year? 78 00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:11,495 Together: Gift card. 79 00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:12,496 See? 80 00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:14,106 It gets simpler nowthat they're getting older. 81 00:03:14,149 --> 00:03:15,716 Let's go skating. 82 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,109 What if I get hurt on the ice? 83 00:03:17,152 --> 00:03:19,677 What if somebody slams into me, breaking my bones? 84 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,505 Come on. Your skeleton?Strong. 85 00:03:21,548 --> 00:03:23,289 Can't risk it. Who would do all my work? 86 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,422 The holiday perfection I've become famous for 87 00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:26,423 would be ruined. 88 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:27,772 Oh, I got to run. 89 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:29,164 Tinsel goes on sale today, 90 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:32,255 and I refuse to buy any that's already been touched. 91 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,911 Oh, no.Look at that huge bear. 92 00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,174 Quick! Drop the salmon and -- 93 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:40,524 Ugh. Read me in again. 94 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:41,568 Ugh. 95 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:42,917 Evan, go from your line about the river. 96 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:45,920 Stop whining. Emery needs our help. 97 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,139 Thanks, Grandma. 98 00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:48,358 Let's go findsomewhere else to rehearse. 99 00:03:48,401 --> 00:03:52,144 It should always be about the family. 100 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:55,539 Just like in this play, "Wyoming Family." 101 00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:58,411 ♪♪ 102 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,457 Way to tank those linesso we could get out of this. 103 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,893 [ Door opens ]Smart. 104 00:04:01,936 --> 00:04:03,764 Going through the motions. That's my thing. 105 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,679 Hey, guys. 106 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,552 Do you mind hiding my Christmas gift for Marvin? 107 00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:10,597 All he does is snoop for presents, 108 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:11,772 and I'd feel better if I kept it here. 109 00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:14,993 Sure, Honey. What'd you get him? 110 00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:19,432 It's...a maritime nutcracker. 111 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,913 [ Chuckles ] It combines his three favorite things -- 112 00:04:21,956 --> 00:04:23,393 snacks, the Navy, and wood. 113 00:04:23,436 --> 00:04:25,003 I'll be back later to wrap it. 114 00:04:25,046 --> 00:04:26,570 Thank you. 115 00:04:26,613 --> 00:04:28,398 [ Door opens, closes ]There's no way this dude can crack a nut. 116 00:04:28,441 --> 00:04:31,401 You'd be surprised by the amountof force a lever can generate. 117 00:04:31,444 --> 00:04:32,445 It's physics. 118 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,794 Nerd, please. 119 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,622 Are you doubting me? 120 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,232 Take this pistachio. 121 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,846 See? Formidable --like Mom's skeleton. 122 00:04:41,889 --> 00:04:44,979 Now, let's add a lever to the equation. 123 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,634 [ Festive music plays ] 124 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,506 [ Laughs ] Awesome. 125 00:04:49,549 --> 00:04:50,768 Levers. 126 00:04:50,811 --> 00:04:52,422 Let's go bigger. 127 00:04:52,465 --> 00:04:55,207 Now you're talking.There's no stoppin' us now. 128 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,817 [ Music slows, stops ] 129 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,166 [ Sighs ] We pushed him too far. 130 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,429 It was the jawbreaker. 131 00:04:59,472 --> 00:05:01,256 It says itright in the damn name. 132 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,649 Relax, bro. 133 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:03,955 We'll replace it before Honey finds out. 134 00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,043 How much could it cost? 135 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,264 "Handmade in Germanyby real Germans." 136 00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,441 [ Gasps ] It's $400! 137 00:05:11,484 --> 00:05:13,834 Why does Germany always have to go over the top? 138 00:05:16,576 --> 00:05:18,665 Are those my Christmas cards? 139 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:19,971 Emery: Dad did them for you. 140 00:05:20,014 --> 00:05:22,190 He seemed happy to use the rest of his tuba stamps. 141 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,889 Went on a big rant about postagegoing up again next year. 142 00:05:24,932 --> 00:05:27,544 Tubas don'trepresent Christmas. 143 00:05:27,587 --> 00:05:28,545 [ Sighs ] 144 00:05:28,588 --> 00:05:31,286 And he scribbled the addresses. 145 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,593 Where's the elegant calligraphy? 146 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,640 Stupid tuba hippo. 147 00:05:36,683 --> 00:05:39,294 [ Festive music plays ] 148 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:40,557 [ Music distorts ] 149 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,559 [ Polka music plays ] 150 00:05:42,602 --> 00:05:45,997 What in the name of Lao Ban? 151 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,086 Hey! What are you guys going? 152 00:05:48,129 --> 00:05:50,262 We decided to change things up. 153 00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:52,873 Yeah. The butcher gave us the idea.Mm-hmm. 154 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,005 [ Chuckles ] 155 00:05:54,048 --> 00:05:56,442 How about this sassy brass? 156 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,183 [ Chuckles ] 157 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,927 [ Sighs ] I'm out of cash. 158 00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:05,495 I spent it on Tina's gift --a brown weave belt. 159 00:06:05,538 --> 00:06:07,627 The whole thing is belt holes. 160 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:08,802 How 'bout you? 161 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,108 I've got nothing. 162 00:06:10,151 --> 00:06:12,240 All my extra money is tied up in mutual funds. 163 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,591 We don't have anywhere close to $400 164 00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:15,505 to buy a new nutcracker. 165 00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:17,376 We have to tell Honey what happened. 166 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,944 And risk getting in trouble andlosing our Christmas gift cards? 167 00:06:19,987 --> 00:06:21,946 I'm spending mineon a certificate to Taco Bell 168 00:06:21,989 --> 00:06:24,383 so I can crush tacos whenever I want. 169 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,473 Wait, you're using a gift card to buy a gift card? 170 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:28,735 You've got to spend moneyto make money. 171 00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,258 We're not telling Honey. 172 00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,259 We'll just do what I always do 173 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,131 when I make a mistake --cover it up. 174 00:06:33,174 --> 00:06:36,134 I don't know. Sounds delinquent. 175 00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:39,398 Sure. My way sometimes getsmessy, but it always works out. 176 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,356 I've broken plenty of thingsand never gotten caught. 177 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,358 You think that'syour original watch? 178 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:47,101 That watch was a birthday gift from my pen pal in Ecuador. 179 00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,581 Well, this one's from Sears. 180 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,931 I don't know. Seems wrong. 181 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,847 Evan, think aboutall the stress confessingwould cause everyone. 182 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,937 Honey? Mom? 183 00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,722 You want to ruin Christmas? 184 00:06:58,765 --> 00:07:00,680 [ Sighs ] Okay. 185 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:01,986 Let's do it your way. 186 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,903 Also, what happened to my old watch? 187 00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:08,122 Long story short,it's in Trent's dog. 188 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,517 Oh, hey. 189 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,954 You see how I, uh, knocked out all the Christmas cards? 190 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,608 I sure did. 191 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,654 Great. Then let's lace upsome steel and hit the rink. 192 00:07:17,697 --> 00:07:18,655 I packed some singles, 193 00:07:18,698 --> 00:07:21,092 so maybe we can tip our wayinto a Zamboni ride. 194 00:07:21,135 --> 00:07:22,397 No Zamboni. 195 00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:26,010 I have to stay and fix everything you did wrong. 196 00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:28,752 [ Smooches ] 197 00:07:28,795 --> 00:07:30,101 I seal each one with a kiss. 198 00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,929 Nobody knows, but I know. 199 00:07:31,972 --> 00:07:33,974 Okay. 200 00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,410 I think you're going overboard. 201 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,717 I think you should leave Christmas to the professionals. 202 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,153 You thought I had little time before? 203 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,590 Now I have no time at all. 204 00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:42,896 I mean, look at this calligraphy. 205 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,333 It could have come straight from the Vatican. 206 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,813 [ Exhales sharply ] 207 00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:53,211 You're redoing theenvelopes just becauseI used the wrong stamps? 208 00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:55,343 I don't see what the big deal is. 209 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,781 My Christmas cards kick off the holiday season, 210 00:07:57,824 --> 00:08:00,218 and everyone expects perfection from me. 211 00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:03,264 Okay, I knew you wereparticular about Christmas -- 212 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,570 Particular? 213 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,746 I've been fine-tuning the details for years. 214 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,487 I don't improvise. 215 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:12,360 This is Christmas, not some sleazy jazz concert. 216 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,361 Understood. I just didn't know 217 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,059 it went all the way downto envelopes. 218 00:08:15,102 --> 00:08:16,364 But now that I know,I can help out, 219 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,627 and then we can go skating. 220 00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,585 I don't think that's a good idea. 221 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,587 Let's see -- stockings needhanging, wine needs mulling. 222 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,807 [ Scoffs ] Come on.How hard could it really be? 223 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:24,808 Okay. You want to help? 224 00:08:24,851 --> 00:08:26,723 You just drew gingerbread house. 225 00:08:26,766 --> 00:08:28,246 ♪♪ 226 00:08:28,289 --> 00:08:29,813 What? But that's your showstopper. 227 00:08:29,856 --> 00:08:31,466 Well, you said all this was easy, right? 228 00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,599 The grand unveiling is set for the end of the week. 229 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,079 It's B-Y-O-E-N. 230 00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:38,169 Bring your own eggnog. 231 00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:39,779 Oh. 232 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,782 You want me to work at the mall as a Christmas elf? 233 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,175 Eddie: Yep. 234 00:08:44,218 --> 00:08:45,959 All you got to do is fill out that application. 235 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,265 Under emergency contact, 236 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,397 put Cindy Crawford. See what happens. 237 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,486 Why would I ever want to do this? 238 00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:55,752 Well, for starters, it'll help your acting career. 239 00:08:55,795 --> 00:08:58,450 Think of all the great character work that you'd do. 240 00:08:58,493 --> 00:09:00,757 I heard that "The Mummy's" very own Brendan Fraser 241 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,236 got his start as a mall elf. 242 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,847 You'll also get a 30% mall discount 243 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:04,761 that we can all share. 244 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,545 Think about it. 245 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,112 Just like that, a $400 Christmas gift 246 00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:09,766 becomes $280. [ Snaps fingers ] 247 00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:12,203 You broke Honey's nutcracker, didn't you? 248 00:09:12,246 --> 00:09:13,813 It was his quick math,wasn't it? 249 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,119 Fine. We broke it. 250 00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:16,773 But even with my job at Cattleman's, 251 00:09:16,816 --> 00:09:18,992 we still can't afford to buy a new one. 252 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,690 And I don't meet the age 253 00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:21,908 and height requirementsfor elf duty, 254 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,650 which feels backwards,but hey, rules are rules. 255 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:27,566 Sorry, guys, but this isn't my fight. 256 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:28,567 Wait. 257 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:29,568 What about what Grandma said 258 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,787 about doing things for the family? 259 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:33,006 Come on, Emery. Your brothers are down. 260 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,747 It's Christmas. Help us out. 261 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:35,705 For the family. 262 00:09:35,748 --> 00:09:38,359 Okay. For the family. 263 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,360 My man! 264 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,797 Hey, while you're there, 265 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,537 do you mind putting in a good word for me with Santa? 266 00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,365 It's been a real up-and-down year for me. 267 00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,542 How's it coming? 268 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,544 Awfully messy. 269 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,850 Well, it's this damn frosting. 270 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:53,592 It's basically concrete -- solidifies instantly. 271 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,899 [ Sighs ] Doesn't bode wellfor the real thing. 272 00:09:55,942 --> 00:09:56,943 Maybe I should take over. 273 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,162 Nope. I've got it. 274 00:09:58,205 --> 00:10:00,294 Um, quick question -- I ate a lot of this. 275 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,600 How worried should I be? 276 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:06,866 Thank you all for coming. 277 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:09,564 It is good to show interest in your local government, 278 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,131 even though this isn't a democracy. 279 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,568 The butcher's influenceis spreading, 280 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,267 first with the tuba musicand then with the ugly signs. 281 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,921 Yeah, and then you reward him with a contract 282 00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:19,749 to build our new library? [ Scoffs ] 283 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:20,837 Yes, our beautiful new library 284 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,099 that will be filled with only one book -- 285 00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,317 my novel -- yes. 286 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:25,319 Oh! This is too much for a meat vendor! 287 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:28,583 Exactly. Once that simple butcher sees how hard it is, 288 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,890 he'll quit, and then I, your mayor, 289 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,587 will come in and save the day. 290 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,851 But what if he pulls it off? 291 00:10:34,894 --> 00:10:36,766 Please. That would take a miracle. 292 00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:38,855 We live in a town where it's Christmas year-round. 293 00:10:38,898 --> 00:10:40,857 Miracles happen all the time. 294 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,381 [ Townspeople murmur ] 295 00:10:44,599 --> 00:10:46,427 Big shift at Cattleman's today. 296 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,951 Sold a guy some ribs...Evan: Mm. 297 00:10:47,994 --> 00:10:49,343 ...and my socks. Ugh. 298 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,780 What? You know what? 299 00:10:50,823 --> 00:10:51,868 We need money. I don't want to know. 300 00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:52,869 [ Bells jingling ] 301 00:10:52,912 --> 00:10:54,609 Eddie: There he is. 302 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,742 How was your first dayat work, champ? 303 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:57,874 It was awful. 304 00:10:57,917 --> 00:10:59,963 Elfing's the worst. 305 00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:01,747 Awful, like, in a good way? 306 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,315 There was an endless line of people, parents shoving, 307 00:11:04,358 --> 00:11:05,359 babies crying. 308 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,448 And Santa's no picnic, either. 309 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,799 "Hey, elf! I said skimmilk." 310 00:11:09,842 --> 00:11:11,844 [ Sighs ] Emery,this sounds terrible. 311 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,454 Emery? Who's Emery? 312 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,674 My name's Jingles now. 313 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:16,980 I'm gonna go to bed. 314 00:11:17,023 --> 00:11:18,764 I hate myself. 315 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:19,983 [ Bells jingling ] 316 00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:22,812 We can't let him go back there. 317 00:11:22,855 --> 00:11:24,988 Hey, this is what yousigned up for, remember? 318 00:11:25,031 --> 00:11:27,991 You knew my way could get messy,but it works. 319 00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:32,778 If Santa's drinking skim,what chance do any of us have? 320 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,434 So, we got to make this, but life-size? 321 00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,566 She's got a rain shower in the half-bath. 322 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,829 You don't make anything easy, do you, boss? 323 00:11:39,872 --> 00:11:41,961 I give you three daysof vacation a year. 324 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,136 That's pretty easy. 325 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,965 And I'm easy on the eyes.That's two easys. 326 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,140 How come you stopped screaming 327 00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,838 and banging your head against the walls? 328 00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:50,013 Is everything okay? 329 00:11:50,056 --> 00:11:51,971 Everything's great.Some might say easy. 330 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,364 Whoa. That's three. 331 00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:54,887 [ Sniffs ] What's that smell? 332 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,367 We got some fresh gingerbreadcooking in the oven -- 333 00:11:56,410 --> 00:11:57,629 homemade recipe. 334 00:11:57,672 --> 00:11:59,283 Trent's gonna help me startthrowing up some walls. 335 00:11:59,326 --> 00:12:02,677 Oh, my God. It's a Christmas miracle. 336 00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,288 I told you. It's not that hard.Anyone could do it. 337 00:12:04,331 --> 00:12:05,724 Really? 338 00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:08,596 So, then you'd be okay if I moved the unveiling up to, 339 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,728 say, tomorrow? 340 00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,817 Give the neighborhood a few extra days 341 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,253 to enjoy your handiwork. 342 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,951 Uh, tomorrow? 343 00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:16,953 That's, like, one day from now. 344 00:12:16,996 --> 00:12:17,867 Oh, unless you can't handle it? 345 00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:20,086 Nope. We've got it. [ Chuckles ] 346 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,045 If we can handle CatfishWednesdays at Cattleman's, 347 00:12:22,088 --> 00:12:23,481 we could handle anything. 348 00:12:23,524 --> 00:12:24,699 I'm sure you can. 349 00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:27,006 I can't wait to see how your homemade recipe 350 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:31,315 accounts for Florida's relentless swamp humidity. 351 00:12:31,358 --> 00:12:32,838 [ Sighs ] 352 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,927 I'll be honest, boss -- no way this gingerbread house 353 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,102 can be built by tomorrow. 354 00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:38,757 And I say that as a ginger myself -- one who eats bread. 355 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,541 [ Sighs ] 356 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,891 ♪♪ 357 00:12:41,934 --> 00:12:44,110 Alright, bro. You loose? 358 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,198 Need another Tic Tac? 359 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,896 I can't go back out there. 360 00:12:48,288 --> 00:12:50,116 It's almost over. 361 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,509 I'm picking up another shiftat Cattleman's, 362 00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:54,077 and Evan's closing a dealright now as we speak. 363 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,905 We're all in this together. 364 00:12:55,948 --> 00:12:56,949 For the family. 365 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,298 For the family. 366 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:00,910 Now go out there and throwsome kids in that old man's lap. 367 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:06,089 Hello, good sir. Nice location. 368 00:13:06,132 --> 00:13:08,961 Donations for the Toys for Totsbin are right over there. 369 00:13:10,745 --> 00:13:13,487 No, I'm actually here to trade for one of your nutcrackers. 370 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,011 Sorry, kid. Cash only. 371 00:13:15,054 --> 00:13:17,143 [ Sighs ] 372 00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:20,799 ♪♪ 373 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,106 Hey, Evan! What are you doing here? 374 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:25,151 I'm allowed to be here!What are you doing here?! 375 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:27,806 Uh -- Wh-- Marvin foundthe stocking stuffers I got him, 376 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,026 so I just had to come get some aftershave. 377 00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,028 Thank God you guys are hiding his main gift. 378 00:13:32,071 --> 00:13:35,118 You are gonna make his Christmas morning. 379 00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:36,380 You knowthe Huang brothers -- 380 00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:39,035 always dependable, rock steady. 381 00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:40,688 Oh, well, someone should tell Emery that, 382 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,516 because that kid is in pieces. 383 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,954 [ Children screaming ] 384 00:13:44,997 --> 00:13:47,130 I just saw him wiping his tears with a paper snowflake. 385 00:13:47,173 --> 00:13:50,133 Anyway, I will come by later to wrap that gift. 386 00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:52,135 ♪♪ 387 00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:55,051 [ Indistinct chatter ] 388 00:13:55,094 --> 00:13:58,576 ♪♪ 389 00:13:58,619 --> 00:14:01,361 [ Echoing indistinct chatter ] 390 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,320 [ Heartbeat ] 391 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:09,152 How'd it go with the Beanie Babies? 392 00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:10,283 Fine. It went fine. 393 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,329 Emery doesn't have to workas an elf anymore. 394 00:14:12,372 --> 00:14:14,287 Really? That's great news! 395 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,593 So, how much did you get for them? 396 00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:17,595 Is this a "pizza's on Evan" situation? 397 00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,511 I stole the nutcracker! 398 00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:21,904 Aah! I'm too pretty for jail! 399 00:14:23,035 --> 00:14:27,083 ♪♪ 400 00:14:27,126 --> 00:14:29,563 This is one high-class garland. 401 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:33,045 Gar-land is where Garfield is from. 402 00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,568 Louis: Jessica! Hurry! I need you! 403 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,876 I knew he didn't have it in him. 404 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,183 Wow. 405 00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:43,055 It's worse than I thought. 406 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,100 It's perfect. 407 00:14:44,143 --> 00:14:45,666 Perfect? 408 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:48,017 This looks like a place wheregingerbread men go to O.D. 409 00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:50,323 [ Chuckles ] No way. 410 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:54,023 No, it represents the humble spirit of Christmas -- 411 00:14:54,066 --> 00:14:57,069 before everything became so over-the-top. 412 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,984 Well, as tempting as it looks, don't take a bite. 413 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,594 It's all nails. 414 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,118 Everyone loves Louis' idea. 415 00:15:02,161 --> 00:15:03,467 Scaling back. 416 00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,904 Simple. Genius. 417 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,213 [ Polka music plays ]Honey: I'm loving this music! 418 00:15:10,256 --> 00:15:11,779 And I'm loving this clapping! 419 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,085 [ Laughs ] 420 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,000 Constable Bryson, 421 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:17,394 arrest those two for disorderly conduct. 422 00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,004 [ Irish accent ]Sorry, ma'am, but you no longer 423 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,701 have that kind of authority. 424 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,790 You're not the mayor anymore. 425 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,923 What? Well, if I'm not, then who is? 426 00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:28,666 I give you... 427 00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:30,450 your new library. 428 00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,105 What about all the money that'ssupposed to make it look nice? 429 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:34,933 I used it to build an ice rink. 430 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,674 [ Cheers and applause ] 431 00:15:36,717 --> 00:15:38,502 Yes! 432 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,421 I'll admit, the time crunchhad me nervous. 433 00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:45,900 Couldn't get to all the bellsand whistles, 434 00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:48,120 but people love it. 435 00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,514 Thanks, Louis. You ruined my Christmas. 436 00:15:52,211 --> 00:15:55,127 Hey, you really should get onto to this nog, Lou. 437 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,303 [ Door opens, closes ]It's only 2,000 calories a glass. 438 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,739 [ Slurps ] 439 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,306 [ Gulps, exhales sharply ] 440 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,443 ♪♪ 441 00:16:06,486 --> 00:16:09,489 Um...what are you doing to my sit-down hairdryer? 442 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,971 Making a joke out of somethingyou love, like you did to me. 443 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,321 Jessica, I thought you'd behappy with my gingerbread house. 444 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:16,975 Please. 445 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,455 You built a shack. 446 00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:21,240 Look, I know it's not Princess Jasmine's Arabian fortress, 447 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,894 but everyone loves it. 448 00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:24,765 Isn't that all that matters? 449 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:26,115 Christmas is my holiday. 450 00:16:26,158 --> 00:16:27,899 It has to be perfect. 451 00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:31,685 Not quickly pushed through,not scaled back -- perfect. 452 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,948 Well, you know what a perfect Christmas is to me? 453 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,167 Spending time with you. 454 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,214 The chair looks beautiful. 455 00:16:38,257 --> 00:16:42,218 ♪♪ 456 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:45,003 What came over you, man? 457 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:47,179 I've never stolenanything in my life -- 458 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:50,095 I mean, a few hearts, sure,but never a piece of property. 459 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,314 Shh! Lower your voice. 460 00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:52,315 [ Gunfire on TV ] 461 00:16:52,358 --> 00:16:53,359 She's watching "Die Hard." 462 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,926 If Bruce Willis is on TV, 463 00:16:54,969 --> 00:16:56,667 the rest of the worldfades away. 464 00:16:56,710 --> 00:16:58,886 Yippee-ki-ay![ Glass shatters] 465 00:16:58,930 --> 00:16:59,974 I don't know what happened back there. 466 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,586 I saw the nutcracker. Honey showed up. 467 00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:03,804 Emery was crying. 468 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,676 Next thing you know, I'm outside the mall. 469 00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:07,243 It's like I blacked out. 470 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:08,461 This is really hard-core. 471 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,681 Now we're sitting ona hot nutcracker. 472 00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:11,725 I'm gonna have to go on the run. 473 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:12,900 Start a new life. 474 00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,815 This is all my fault. 475 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,948 I was the one who pushed youto do things my way. 476 00:17:16,991 --> 00:17:18,993 You never told me to steal, Eddie. 477 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:20,952 We should have just told Honey,like you said. 478 00:17:20,995 --> 00:17:22,301 Well, it's too late now. 479 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,694 I'll have to wear a fake mustache 480 00:17:23,737 --> 00:17:25,174 until I can grow one on my own. 481 00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:26,349 Let's just... 482 00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:28,177 return the nutcrackerand come clean to Honey. 483 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,266 We're gonna be in so much trouble. No. 484 00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:32,050 I'm taking all the blame. 485 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,399 What about the consequences? 486 00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:34,705 Your Christmas gift card? 487 00:17:34,748 --> 00:17:36,054 Yeah, I know. 488 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:38,491 I'm really hoping this scoresme some points with Santa. 489 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,624 Or Jesus.Whoever's listening. 490 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,713 Now, come on.Let's go call Honey. 491 00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:47,848 Hans Gruber is actually the hero of this story. 492 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:51,069 This must be what King Kong feels like. 493 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:58,337 ♪♪ 494 00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,731 [ Polka music plays ] 495 00:18:00,774 --> 00:18:02,515 You do this all day? 496 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,039 Put on cheap makeup and pick up trash? 497 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,868 Um, I did find an almost-untouched BLT once, 498 00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,305 so it's not always terrible. 499 00:18:09,348 --> 00:18:10,654 Oh. 500 00:18:10,697 --> 00:18:13,396 Look at all those couples spending time together. 501 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:16,094 I mean, that's what Christmas is all about. 502 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,357 [ Exhales sharply ] Shame we can't join them. 503 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,316 We're too busy working around the clock, 504 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,231 picking up trash so the town looks perfect. 505 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,194 How'd it go with Operation Stolen Nutcracker Return? 506 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:32,197 Success. I told the vendor I wascleaning it in Santa's workshop. 507 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:34,330 Everyone trusts a kidwearing bells.[ Door opens ] 508 00:18:34,373 --> 00:18:35,592 Ha! 509 00:18:35,635 --> 00:18:37,855 Isn't this wrapping paper perfect? [ Chuckles ] 510 00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:40,466 Navy blue? 511 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,252 Because the nutcracker's clearly a naval officer. 512 00:18:44,731 --> 00:18:47,038 Eh, you know what? Marvin will appreciate it. 513 00:18:47,081 --> 00:18:48,866 Yeah. About that gift... 514 00:18:48,909 --> 00:18:51,651 We --Good-looking jaws on this one. 515 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,044 Cherish him. 516 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,437 Ohh! 517 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,831 [ Chuckles ] Thank you for keeping it safe, guys. 518 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,398 [ Laughs ] 519 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:02,488 I don't know how you resisted the urge to play with this guy. 520 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:05,056 You have more willpower than me. 521 00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:06,884 [ Door closes ]Whoa, G-ma. 522 00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:08,842 Why'd you bail us out? 523 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:13,630 I overheard you were in trouble,so I did it for the family. 524 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:16,067 All: For the family. 525 00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:22,900 [ Sighs ] 526 00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:25,381 Nice chimney. Peppermint bark? 527 00:19:25,424 --> 00:19:28,035 It was a milk crate from the shed. 528 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,516 I didn't mean to crap so hardon your gingerbread house. 529 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,519 I was just worried thatChristmas would be ruined 530 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:34,520 if I didn't make it perfect. 531 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,479 It's what I'm known for. 532 00:19:36,522 --> 00:19:37,654 Christmas isn't about being perfect. 533 00:19:37,697 --> 00:19:39,525 It's about being together. 534 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,526 We just want to spend it with you, 535 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,049 no matter how... 536 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,486 crappy it looks. 537 00:19:43,529 --> 00:19:44,661 So, you see it, too? 538 00:19:46,706 --> 00:19:51,102 I know you were just trying tohelp when you wrote those cards. 539 00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,626 Want to skate circlesaround some teenagers? 540 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,411 Disrupt their make-outs? 541 00:19:55,454 --> 00:19:58,196 Really? I thought you were worried about getting hurt. 542 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,764 Fun fact -- I'm goodat everything I do. 543 00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:03,288 Besides, what is thereleft to do? 544 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,508 You built the gingerbread house, 545 00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:07,988 and I see why everybody loves it. 546 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,076 Well, don't look too close. 547 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,904 I cut a few corners during construction. 548 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,211 [ Animal squeaks ][ Screams ] There's a rat in here! 549 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,561 Boss, there's a rat in here! 550 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,693 ♪♪ 551 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,568 Yeah, 50 soft tacos,here I come! 552 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,004 [ Clears throat ] 553 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,397 [ Exhales sharply ] Come on, Grandma. 554 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,355 We're family. 555 00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:30,794 [ Sighs ] 556 00:20:30,837 --> 00:20:33,449 Well, Emery, at least youhave one. 557 00:20:33,492 --> 00:20:36,016 Although, if we split it three ways... 558 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,540 I'm spending mine at the spa. 559 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,891 Oh, you look just like a candy cane. 560 00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:42,458 [ Chuckles ] 561 00:20:42,501 --> 00:20:43,546 How you feeling? 562 00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:46,026 That was a pretty gruesome fall you took on the ice. 563 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,332 Hey, at leastit restored my faith 564 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,334 in Orlando'smedical response team. 565 00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:52,119 That ambulance came fast. [ Chuckles ] 566 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,643 [ Grunts ] 567 00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:58,735 Oh, Louis. 568 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,042 You know these would have been 50% off tomorrow. 569 00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:03,827 Jessica. They're perfect. 570 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,484 [ Festive music plays ] 571 00:21:08,527 --> 00:21:13,489 ♪♪ 572 00:21:13,532 --> 00:21:15,578 [ Horse whinnies ] 573 00:21:15,621 --> 00:21:17,928 Hold my hand.I don't want to fall. 574 00:21:17,971 --> 00:21:22,236 Come on. You just push off to the sides, and go -- like this! 575 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,020 Oh! Aah! 576 00:21:23,063 --> 00:21:26,415 [ Thud ] My arms! Ooooooh.