1 00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:05,682 Y'know, because we've been together for 3 months. 2 00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:06,517 It's been 6. 3 00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:08,185 But I'm glad we feel the same way 4 00:00:08,219 --> 00:00:09,686 about anniversaries. 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:10,687 Lame.Lame. 6 00:00:10,721 --> 00:00:12,989 So can I get that Ho-Ho back or...? 7 00:00:15,992 --> 00:00:17,594 6 months of dating. 8 00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:18,862 That beats my record by... 9 00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:20,264 6 months. 10 00:00:20,297 --> 00:00:22,533 Your dad won't stop raving about Tina at the restaurant. 11 00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:24,968 I try to not let it affect my performance at work, 12 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:26,603 but it does. 13 00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:27,738 What does your mom think of Tina? 14 00:00:27,771 --> 00:00:29,039 Thankfully, they haven't met yet. 15 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,474 There's no way they'd ever get along. 16 00:00:30,507 --> 00:00:32,209 They both have strong personalities. 17 00:00:32,243 --> 00:00:33,810 I prefer a strong woman. 18 00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:35,279 Physically I mean. 19 00:00:35,312 --> 00:00:38,081 Like she could lift a car off me after a real bad accident. 20 00:00:38,115 --> 00:00:39,816 The only strong woman my mom likes 21 00:00:39,850 --> 00:00:41,051 is the singer Amy Grant. 22 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,420 And only because she can silence her on command. 23 00:00:43,454 --> 00:00:44,821 So what happens when they do meet? 24 00:00:44,855 --> 00:00:45,722 They won't. 25 00:00:45,756 --> 00:00:46,790 I can't take the chance 26 00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,392 my mom will ruin my relationship. 27 00:00:48,425 --> 00:00:49,826 She ruins everything I like... 28 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:51,562 Well, I'm off to see "Fight Club." 29 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:52,929 No R-rated movies. 30 00:00:52,963 --> 00:00:55,999 Besides I heard Brad Pitt's character is imaginary. 31 00:00:56,032 --> 00:00:57,768 That's just lazy writing. 32 00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:01,905 Hey, where's the creamy filling? 33 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,440 Oh, I took it. You don't need it. 34 00:01:04,375 --> 00:01:06,710 Ma, what the hell did you do to my N.W.A. shirt? 35 00:01:10,814 --> 00:01:13,317 Yeah, my mom and Tina can never meet. 36 00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:15,752 -- Captions by VITAC -- 37 00:01:15,786 --> 00:01:16,920 * Fresh off the boat 38 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,622 * I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go * 39 00:01:18,655 --> 00:01:20,924 * If you don't know, homey, now you know * 40 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:22,159 * Fresh off the boat 41 00:01:22,193 --> 00:01:24,495 * Homey, you don't know where I come from * 42 00:01:24,528 --> 00:01:25,996 * But I know where I'm goin' 43 00:01:26,029 --> 00:01:28,732 * I'm fresh off the boat 44 00:01:32,903 --> 00:01:34,305 Working out some stress, Mommy? 45 00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:37,474 I'm warming up for my new school administration class. 46 00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:39,009 Discipline. 47 00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:41,345 Writing I'm a rightie, slapping I'm a leftie. 48 00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:43,547 I hope it's as rewarding as my new Drama class. 49 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,015 We're exploring our emotions. 50 00:01:45,048 --> 00:01:46,049 I can cry on command. 51 00:01:46,082 --> 00:01:47,784 I think about tulips wilting! 52 00:01:47,818 --> 00:01:48,885 Speaking of emotions, 53 00:01:48,919 --> 00:01:51,188 Trent tells me you and Tina are going strong. 54 00:01:51,222 --> 00:01:52,889 Young love makes my heart skip a beat. 55 00:01:53,857 --> 00:01:55,659 I hope that's what it is. 56 00:01:55,692 --> 00:01:56,627 Love? 57 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:57,861 Please. 58 00:01:57,894 --> 00:01:59,496 Me and Tina just bump into each other sometimes. 59 00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:01,632 But, you know, I bump into a lot of people. 60 00:02:01,665 --> 00:02:04,735 Long limbs, narrow hallways, you do the math. 61 00:02:04,768 --> 00:02:06,703 So, Evan, anything new with you? 62 00:02:06,737 --> 00:02:08,205 Anybody? 63 00:02:08,239 --> 00:02:09,340 Big G? 64 00:02:09,373 --> 00:02:11,308 Thank you for your interest, Edwyn. 65 00:02:11,342 --> 00:02:13,176 Grandma and I are going to explore 66 00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:14,845 the ancient art of meditation. 67 00:02:14,878 --> 00:02:17,013 Ugh. Meditation is just an expensive way 68 00:02:17,047 --> 00:02:18,081 to cross your legs. 69 00:02:18,114 --> 00:02:19,683 I've reached a point in my life 70 00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:21,252 where I would like to de-stress 71 00:02:21,285 --> 00:02:23,220 and enhance my self-awareness. 72 00:02:26,257 --> 00:02:27,558 Fascinating. 73 00:02:27,591 --> 00:02:29,560 So we should continue talking about other people. 74 00:02:29,593 --> 00:02:31,161 Dad, you're a happening guy. 75 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:32,263 What's new with you? 76 00:02:32,296 --> 00:02:34,097 Well, let's see... 77 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:37,268 Ooh, at the restaurant, we're introducing... 78 00:02:38,134 --> 00:02:40,937 ...new napkins. 79 00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:44,875 Time to go. 80 00:02:46,477 --> 00:02:48,379 See ya, Dad. Enjoy those napkins. 81 00:02:48,412 --> 00:02:51,214 I will! Because that's my thing. 82 00:02:52,916 --> 00:02:55,051 Napkins. 83 00:02:56,287 --> 00:02:57,788 Hey, how about 84 00:02:57,821 --> 00:02:59,222 instead of studying the French Revolution 85 00:02:59,256 --> 00:03:00,291 at your house, 86 00:03:00,324 --> 00:03:01,592 we can go to the mall 87 00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:03,527 and experience French culture at Au Bon Pain? 88 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,529 You're trying to get out of studying. 89 00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,697 Je guilty. 90 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:08,699 Tell you what. 91 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:09,766 To mix it up, 92 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,602 how about we study at your place this time? 93 00:03:11,635 --> 00:03:13,737 Uh -- uh, I wish we could, 94 00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,772 but...my house is being fumigated. 95 00:03:15,806 --> 00:03:16,540 Again? 96 00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:18,475 You said that last week. 97 00:03:18,509 --> 00:03:20,811 I was looking forward to finally meeting your mom. 98 00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:22,078 Well, you've met my dad, 99 00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,815 and he's basically just my mom with shorter hair so... 100 00:03:24,848 --> 00:03:26,783 You don't want me to meet your mother, do you? 101 00:03:26,817 --> 00:03:28,118 I'd love nothing more! 102 00:03:28,151 --> 00:03:30,954 Alas, she's...out of town. 103 00:03:30,987 --> 00:03:32,323 Indefinitely. 104 00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:33,857 Jessica: Eddie! 105 00:03:35,526 --> 00:03:36,960 Isn't that your mom over there? 106 00:03:36,993 --> 00:03:37,994 Eddie! Calling your name. 107 00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:39,330 A lot of ladies call my name. 108 00:03:39,363 --> 00:03:40,831 You'll have to get used to that. 109 00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,333 Eddie, hurry up! 110 00:03:42,366 --> 00:03:44,134 You've got to get home and clean your room. 111 00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:46,603 It smells like gym socks and ham! 112 00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:47,771 You know what? 113 00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:49,573 I forgot I'm supposed to let the fumigator in. 114 00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:51,007 He takes it personally if I'm late. 115 00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,809 Dude's sensitive. Like a lot of fumigators are. 116 00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:54,277 I'll call you later! 117 00:03:57,514 --> 00:04:00,183 Each napkin has a different Orlando landmark. 118 00:04:00,216 --> 00:04:03,320 Look, it's Lake Apopka. 119 00:04:03,354 --> 00:04:05,255 At one time, Florida's most polluted lake. 120 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,590 Every napkin has a story. 121 00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:08,525 Just like the spills they clean up. 122 00:04:08,559 --> 00:04:09,593 Beautiful. 123 00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:11,562 Hmm. 124 00:04:15,899 --> 00:04:18,335 I hope you're not a spy for the health department. 125 00:04:19,536 --> 00:04:21,171 Seriously, Evan got grounded for that. 126 00:04:21,204 --> 00:04:23,173 We're learning about the hero's journey for Drama class. 127 00:04:23,206 --> 00:04:24,675 I'm shadowing you for a character study. 128 00:04:24,708 --> 00:04:25,542 Oh, good choice! 129 00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:27,378 I'm always journeying like a hero. 130 00:04:27,411 --> 00:04:28,945 Did I mention the new napkins? 131 00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:30,013 Heck yeah you did! 132 00:04:30,046 --> 00:04:31,348 I've been thinking about them all day! 133 00:04:31,382 --> 00:04:32,583 I love napkins! 134 00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:35,218 I'm sorry, Dad. 135 00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:37,320 We haven't had the class on fake enthusiasm yet. 136 00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:38,622 Oh. That's alright. 137 00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:39,790 Who am I kidding? 138 00:04:39,823 --> 00:04:41,492 Nobody cares about napkins. 139 00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:43,494 I'm gonna collect the whole set! 140 00:04:43,527 --> 00:04:46,129 I mean, I love this place, 141 00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:47,498 but I'm feeling kind of restless. 142 00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:48,732 I just turned 40, 143 00:04:48,765 --> 00:04:51,334 Cattleman's practically runs itself. 144 00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:52,503 This may be my last chance 145 00:04:52,536 --> 00:04:54,170 to roll the dice on something new. 146 00:04:54,204 --> 00:04:55,372 I get it. 147 00:04:55,406 --> 00:04:56,740 You're looking for your "call to adventure." 148 00:04:56,773 --> 00:04:58,742 Last time I answered a call to adventure, 149 00:04:58,775 --> 00:04:59,843 my identity got stolen. 150 00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:01,378 Never give anyone your social. 151 00:05:02,513 --> 00:05:03,847 I want to find my next big thing, 152 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,382 but I just don't know where to start. 153 00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:06,917 What if you took an aptitude test? 154 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:09,019 We took one for school, and guess what they said 155 00:05:09,052 --> 00:05:10,621 my personality was best suited for? 156 00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:12,489 Acting! 157 00:05:12,523 --> 00:05:13,690 Really? Yes! 158 00:05:13,724 --> 00:05:15,058 And it only takes 20 minutes. 159 00:05:15,091 --> 00:05:16,192 45 if you're Eddie. 160 00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:17,428 Let's do it! 161 00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:20,497 Sorry, just looking for... 162 00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:21,732 Found her! 163 00:05:21,765 --> 00:05:23,033 Orange County Convention Center! 164 00:05:23,066 --> 00:05:25,502 Yes! I got all the convention centers! 165 00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:28,672 * Stop for a minute * 166 00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:30,607 * Baby, I'm so glad you're mine * 167 00:05:30,641 --> 00:05:32,175 Oh, Amy Grant. 168 00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:33,777 * Yeah * I think it, and you sing it. 169 00:05:35,111 --> 00:05:36,947 I'll be in Grandma's room practicing mindfulness. 170 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,248 If you need me, 171 00:05:38,281 --> 00:05:40,350 maybe stop for a second and think, 172 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,952 "Do I really need anything?" 173 00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:48,224 Hello, Mrs. Huang. I'm Tina. 174 00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:50,193 I thought it was time we met. 175 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,629 Well, if it isn't 176 00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:55,966 the mysterious, overly-confident girlfriend. 177 00:05:55,999 --> 00:05:58,469 I prefer to think of myself as your son's better half. 178 00:05:58,502 --> 00:06:00,303 Three-quarters, really. 179 00:06:01,304 --> 00:06:02,205 Eddie: I did it -- 180 00:06:02,238 --> 00:06:04,675 7 animals, 1 sandwich. 181 00:06:07,911 --> 00:06:09,713 We flew too close to the sun, my friend. 182 00:06:14,284 --> 00:06:15,719 Tina, what a pleasure to meet you. 183 00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,488 The pleasure is all mine. 184 00:06:17,521 --> 00:06:19,990 Eddie's been dying for us to meet, right? 185 00:06:20,023 --> 00:06:21,925 Yes! Tina, Ma. Ma, Tina. 186 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:23,326 You've met. Uh, let's go to a movie! 187 00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:24,661 You're not wearing pants. 188 00:06:24,695 --> 00:06:26,329 It's a look. Let's go! 189 00:06:26,362 --> 00:06:28,999 Nobody's going anywhere. 190 00:06:29,032 --> 00:06:31,067 I'm gonna take this opportunity 191 00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:33,837 to get to know your special little friend person. 192 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:35,171 That's why I'm here. 193 00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:38,241 To get to know your special little mother. Person. 194 00:06:41,612 --> 00:06:43,179 Your presence is not required. 195 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:45,281 Why don't you get some air? 196 00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,150 You know, because of all the fumigation. 197 00:06:47,183 --> 00:06:49,285 Yeah, s-- sounds good. 198 00:06:49,319 --> 00:06:51,354 Great. Hella cool. T-t-t-t-totally. 199 00:06:51,387 --> 00:06:52,523 So... Oh, God, no. 200 00:06:53,323 --> 00:06:55,191 Now that you're here, 201 00:06:55,225 --> 00:06:56,292 without calling, 202 00:06:56,326 --> 00:06:57,828 I'd be delighted to hear 203 00:06:57,861 --> 00:06:59,663 your intentions toward my son. 204 00:06:59,696 --> 00:07:01,498 And I'd be delighted to hear 205 00:07:01,532 --> 00:07:03,800 your intentions toward my boyfriend. 206 00:07:08,404 --> 00:07:09,640 No! 207 00:07:10,741 --> 00:07:11,875 This is perfect, Dad. 208 00:07:11,908 --> 00:07:14,177 The test said you're social, enterprising, 209 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,879 and we all know you love hair. 210 00:07:15,912 --> 00:07:17,480 You're a natural barber. 211 00:07:17,514 --> 00:07:20,316 A fine coiffure is a man's God-given right. 212 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,718 Oh, well, just take a quarter inch off the top. 213 00:07:21,752 --> 00:07:22,853 Or maybe even less. 214 00:07:22,886 --> 00:07:24,688 How about you just comb it? 215 00:07:24,721 --> 00:07:26,022 Don't worry, I cut Brian's hair, 216 00:07:26,056 --> 00:07:26,823 and it looks great. 217 00:07:26,857 --> 00:07:27,991 I'm a slow grower. 218 00:07:28,024 --> 00:07:30,060 This will take months to fill in. 219 00:07:31,695 --> 00:07:34,030 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 220 00:07:34,064 --> 00:07:36,232 I just love it! Very flattering. 221 00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,301 Very flattering. Great job, Lou. 222 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,302 Oh, I haven't started. 223 00:07:39,335 --> 00:07:40,671 That's why you're the best. 224 00:07:40,704 --> 00:07:42,739 It doesn't look "done." 225 00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:46,342 I don't know. 226 00:07:46,376 --> 00:07:48,344 This isn't as fulfilling as I'd hoped. 227 00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:50,080 Maybe barbarism isn't for me. 228 00:07:50,113 --> 00:07:52,082 You did a great job on my five o'clock shadow. 229 00:07:52,115 --> 00:07:53,216 Thanks, Trent. 230 00:07:53,249 --> 00:07:55,351 My talent isn't in question. 231 00:07:55,385 --> 00:07:57,387 Let's just say, I have the skill, but not the will. 232 00:07:57,420 --> 00:07:58,922 That's me and making baklava. 233 00:07:58,955 --> 00:08:00,757 Besides, Orlando already has 234 00:08:00,791 --> 00:08:03,359 a surprising number of barbers per capita. 235 00:08:03,393 --> 00:08:04,928 The Caribbean-adjacent crosswinds 236 00:08:04,961 --> 00:08:06,997 are basically rocket fuel for hair follicles. 237 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:09,099 You sure know your Orlando facts. 238 00:08:09,132 --> 00:08:10,834 You know what? I do. 239 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:11,902 Marvin: Hey. 240 00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:13,336 I forgot to tip you, buddy. 241 00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:15,939 People are lovin' it! 242 00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:23,279 Man: One more inhale. 243 00:08:23,313 --> 00:08:25,448 And as you exhale, 244 00:08:25,481 --> 00:08:29,085 feel yourself relax into your moment... 245 00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:31,521 of deepest...calm. 246 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:32,422 Armageddon! 247 00:08:32,455 --> 00:08:33,624 Aah! Aah! 248 00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:35,759 I was just about to sink into my ocean of truth. 249 00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:36,893 Who cares?! 250 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:38,762 Mom and Tina are meeting for the first time! 251 00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:39,963 We're at DEFCON 5! 252 00:08:39,996 --> 00:08:41,932 Uh, I think you mean DEFCON 1? 253 00:08:41,965 --> 00:08:43,634 DEFCON 5 means peacetime. 254 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,902 What sense does that make? 255 00:08:45,936 --> 00:08:47,871 5 should be worse than 1. 256 00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:50,106 Focus! Two heavyweights are in the ring. 257 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,108 It's like Roe versus Wade in there! 258 00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:53,409 I need to hear what they're saying. 259 00:08:53,443 --> 00:08:55,411 Does anyone have a glass so I can listen through the wall? 260 00:08:55,445 --> 00:08:57,480 That only works in the movies. 261 00:08:57,513 --> 00:09:00,216 Just eavesdrop through the air vent 262 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,653 like a normal person. 263 00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:07,223 Sounds heated. 264 00:09:07,257 --> 00:09:09,225 Guess it's back to kissing my pillow. 265 00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:10,526 Which I never did, ever. 266 00:09:11,628 --> 00:09:12,996 My money's on Mommy! 267 00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:22,138 Oh, my God. 268 00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:23,840 They've gone full "Road House." 269 00:09:33,183 --> 00:09:34,417 What happened? Who's hurt? 270 00:09:38,221 --> 00:09:39,489 We're fine. 271 00:09:39,522 --> 00:09:42,125 Turns out your mom and I have a lot in common. 272 00:09:42,158 --> 00:09:44,594 We're both no-nonsense, goal-oriented women 273 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:45,829 with a common enemy... 274 00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:47,163 The sun! The sun! 275 00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:48,498 Tina is great. 276 00:09:48,531 --> 00:09:50,433 She's not a dud like all your other girlfriends. 277 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:52,936 One he said he met at camp. 278 00:09:52,969 --> 00:09:54,370 He never went to camp. 279 00:09:55,371 --> 00:09:57,007 But it sounded like a fight. 280 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,675 I heard someone get slapped! 281 00:09:58,709 --> 00:09:59,810 Oh, that? 282 00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:01,678 He always makes a monster sandwich 283 00:10:01,712 --> 00:10:03,446 when he's trying not to study! 284 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:04,715 Totally! 285 00:10:04,748 --> 00:10:06,449 I gotta push this kid all the damn time 286 00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:07,784 to live up to his potential! 287 00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:09,519 Yes, girl! Yes! 288 00:10:09,552 --> 00:10:10,453 Preach! 289 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:11,654 Mmm -- mm. 290 00:10:11,688 --> 00:10:13,489 Strong smack. 291 00:10:13,523 --> 00:10:15,225 I like it. Respect. 292 00:10:16,727 --> 00:10:18,829 So you guys actually like each other? 293 00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:20,731 Hey, don't act so surprised. 294 00:10:20,764 --> 00:10:22,866 I'm very easy to get along with. 295 00:10:22,899 --> 00:10:24,334 Some might even say charming. 296 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:25,335 They might. 297 00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:26,536 And they do. 298 00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:29,239 Great, this is awesome! 299 00:10:29,272 --> 00:10:30,841 Where'd I put my sandwich? 300 00:10:30,874 --> 00:10:33,509 Louis: And, uh, coming up on your right, 301 00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:35,879 you'll see Carrot Top's childhood home! 302 00:10:35,912 --> 00:10:37,748 This is much more you, Dad. 303 00:10:37,781 --> 00:10:38,982 I know! 304 00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:41,017 Being a tour guide combines my people skills, 305 00:10:41,051 --> 00:10:42,418 my passion for Orlando, 306 00:10:42,452 --> 00:10:45,188 and my secret desire to wear a little headset. 307 00:10:45,221 --> 00:10:47,157 Thanks for being my guinea pigs. 308 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:48,258 I thought you were just 309 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:49,860 giving us a ride to Mommy and Me. 310 00:10:49,893 --> 00:10:52,195 Uh, you don't want to take Colonial at this hour, Lou. 311 00:10:52,228 --> 00:10:54,931 Just pull a U-boat up ahead here and take Edgewater. 312 00:10:54,965 --> 00:10:56,566 It's faster, more efficient. 313 00:10:56,599 --> 00:10:57,533 Are you sure? 314 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,069 I planned this route very carefully. 315 00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:00,270 Coming up on your right 316 00:11:00,303 --> 00:11:02,538 is the worldwide headquarters of Tupperware! 317 00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:03,706 Uh, can we pull over? 318 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,108 I need to use the bathroom. 319 00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:06,176 Uh, can it wait? 320 00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:08,178 I have a whole spiel about Earl Tupper 321 00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:10,781 and his clash with female CEO Brownie Mae Wise -- 322 00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:12,916 The first woman to make the cover of Business Week. 323 00:11:12,949 --> 00:11:14,417 You're losing us, Lou! 324 00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:16,920 Oh, Marvin! The babies! 325 00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:18,955 They're just saying what we're all thinking! 326 00:11:18,989 --> 00:11:21,291 Uh, everyone, we are in the middle of a tour. 327 00:11:21,324 --> 00:11:24,027 If you could please keep it down for the other guests. 328 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,628 Dad, you just ran a stop sign. 329 00:11:25,661 --> 00:11:27,197 There'll be another one! 330 00:11:27,230 --> 00:11:29,699 Uh... Speaking of stop signs, 331 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,635 the first one appeared in 1915 in Detroit, Michigan, 332 00:11:32,668 --> 00:11:34,070 a state that looks like a mitten. 333 00:11:34,104 --> 00:11:35,138 No one cares! 334 00:11:35,171 --> 00:11:36,472 I have to pee! Pull over! 335 00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:53,990 He does do that! He so does. 336 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,659 But he's been good today. 337 00:11:56,692 --> 00:11:59,129 Got through a whole chapter without nodding off. 338 00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:01,631 I consider it a win if his book is right-side up. 339 00:12:01,664 --> 00:12:04,234 He calls Geometry "Shapes Class." 340 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:05,468 Oh, shut up! 341 00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:07,003 You shut up! 342 00:12:07,037 --> 00:12:08,872 No, both of you shut up. 343 00:12:13,709 --> 00:12:15,578 This is my calling for sure. 344 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,013 A motivational speaker. 345 00:12:17,047 --> 00:12:19,315 Inspiring people to live life to the fullest. 346 00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,251 You're like a tour guide, but for people's lives. 347 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,053 And I still get to use the headset. 348 00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:27,858 ...and then I won the Golden Prune award. 349 00:12:27,891 --> 00:12:31,127 And, uh, that's just a brief explanation of -- 350 00:12:31,161 --> 00:12:33,363 Brief?! How is 40 minutes brief?! 351 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:36,799 ...of, uh, how Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, 352 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:40,503 just off the I-4 and now open for breakfast, 353 00:12:40,536 --> 00:12:41,704 became a success. 354 00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:43,806 Oh, great! A question. 355 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,708 Is Zumba still in here at 4:00? 356 00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:51,014 Um... 357 00:12:51,047 --> 00:12:54,517 It is said that a journey of a thousand miles 358 00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:56,152 begins with a single step. 359 00:12:56,186 --> 00:13:00,023 But, um, in reality, a journey of a thousand miles 360 00:13:00,056 --> 00:13:01,691 should begin with a map! 361 00:13:05,395 --> 00:13:06,729 Hey, where are you going? 362 00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:07,898 Where are you going? 363 00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:09,532 Well, I'm trying to motivate you! 364 00:13:09,565 --> 00:13:11,501 This is supposed to be my next big thing! 365 00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:12,535 I'm inspiring! 366 00:13:12,568 --> 00:13:13,904 I respectfully disagree. 367 00:13:13,937 --> 00:13:16,072 Well... 368 00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:21,844 You know what? He's right. 369 00:13:21,878 --> 00:13:24,014 Who am I to give you advice? 370 00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:25,848 How can I help you find your next chapter 371 00:13:25,882 --> 00:13:27,750 if I can't even find mine? 372 00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,754 Maybe there isn't one. 373 00:13:31,787 --> 00:13:34,357 Maybe this is it. 374 00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:38,228 Maybe my next big thing is just...death. 375 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,331 Alright, you muffin-tops! 376 00:13:41,364 --> 00:13:43,366 Who's ready to Zumba?! 377 00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:47,003 Speaking of firsts, 378 00:13:47,037 --> 00:13:48,538 did I ever tell you about my first kiss? 379 00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:50,106 You'd better be about to! 380 00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:54,077 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 381 00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:56,512 ...an overall sensation of wet. 382 00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:57,780 Can you guys please keep it down? 383 00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:59,582 I'm trying to study! 384 00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:01,084 What's happening to me? 385 00:14:01,117 --> 00:14:02,785 Oh, you're evolving! 386 00:14:02,818 --> 00:14:05,288 From a boy of nonsense into a man of letters. 387 00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:07,890 I think we should take a break. 388 00:14:07,924 --> 00:14:09,192 Let's go get a milkshake. 389 00:14:09,225 --> 00:14:10,560 Good idea. 390 00:14:13,229 --> 00:14:14,197 Coming, Jess? 391 00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,803 Our boy Eddie needs to step up his course-load senior year. 392 00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,272 It's lucky I look good in blue 393 00:14:22,305 --> 00:14:24,540 because I tell him that until I'm blue in the face. 394 00:14:24,574 --> 00:14:26,809 Uh... you look good in all colors. 395 00:14:26,842 --> 00:14:28,144 You're so observant. 396 00:14:28,178 --> 00:14:29,645 You actually don't look good in orange, so... 397 00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:30,780 Whatever. 398 00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,582 Me? You're the one who's observant. 399 00:14:32,615 --> 00:14:34,617 That's another good observation! 400 00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:40,957 Did you know Jessica 401 00:14:40,991 --> 00:14:43,093 can get five dinners out of one roast chicken? 402 00:14:43,126 --> 00:14:44,827 Another fun fact about my mother. 403 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,629 Will it ever get old? Not to me! 404 00:14:46,662 --> 00:14:49,899 You're okay with me being friends with your mom, right? 405 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,335 You're not afraid of a little harmless female bonding. 406 00:14:52,368 --> 00:14:54,437 What?! I'm happy as can be. 407 00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:01,011 I thought it would be bad 408 00:15:01,044 --> 00:15:03,013 for my mom and my girlfriend to hate each other, 409 00:15:03,046 --> 00:15:05,081 but them liking each other is so much worse. 410 00:15:05,115 --> 00:15:07,783 Life's curveballs, am I right? 411 00:15:07,817 --> 00:15:10,820 I mean, I barely get time alone with my girlfriend anymore. 412 00:15:10,853 --> 00:15:12,688 Silver lining? I'm friends with your dad, 413 00:15:12,722 --> 00:15:14,157 Tina's friends with your mom, 414 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,992 we introduce my sis Tracy to your grandma, 415 00:15:16,026 --> 00:15:17,693 and we've got ourselves a dinner party. 416 00:15:17,727 --> 00:15:18,995 What am I gonna do? 417 00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:20,130 At the rate they're going, 418 00:15:20,163 --> 00:15:21,697 Tina's gonna ask my mother to prom. 419 00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:23,366 Not gonna lie, I'm into that. 420 00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:25,135 I wanted to ask Short Linda to prom, 421 00:15:25,168 --> 00:15:27,370 but she'd have to break up with Thick-Neck Chris. 422 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:30,006 That's it! That's what I have to do. 423 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,041 I have to break them up! 424 00:15:31,074 --> 00:15:32,842 Dude, you're crazy. 425 00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:35,378 What Thick-Neck Chris has with Short Linda is real. 426 00:15:35,411 --> 00:15:36,546 No. 427 00:15:36,579 --> 00:15:38,614 I need to break up my mother and my girlfriend. 428 00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:40,283 Okay, gotta ask -- 429 00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:41,851 why do we call her Short Linda? 430 00:15:41,884 --> 00:15:43,019 She's 6-feet tall. 431 00:15:43,053 --> 00:15:44,120 But very curt. 432 00:15:44,154 --> 00:15:45,721 Lotta one-word answers. 433 00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:51,694 Hunting ground of notorious serial killer Ted Bundy? 434 00:15:51,727 --> 00:15:54,330 Well, this was unwise. 435 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:56,899 You don't have to check up on me, I'm fine. 436 00:15:56,932 --> 00:15:58,868 I rolled the dice on something new, 437 00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:00,503 and they came up snake eyes. 438 00:16:00,536 --> 00:16:01,704 Are snake eyes bad? 439 00:16:02,772 --> 00:16:03,873 I don't know. I think so. 440 00:16:03,906 --> 00:16:04,974 Snakes are bad. 441 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,176 Well, I just came by to tell you 442 00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:07,243 I'm quitting Drama. 443 00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:08,744 What? Why? 444 00:16:08,778 --> 00:16:10,180 I auditioned for "42nd Street," 445 00:16:10,213 --> 00:16:11,547 and I couldn't do a high kick. 446 00:16:11,581 --> 00:16:12,548 Guess I'm bad at acting. 447 00:16:12,582 --> 00:16:13,849 Son, you can't just give up 448 00:16:13,883 --> 00:16:15,818 because things don't immediately go your way. 449 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,487 I just really wanted it to work out. 450 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,554 And it will one day. 451 00:16:18,588 --> 00:16:20,323 But only if you don't give up. 452 00:16:20,356 --> 00:16:21,491 If you walk away, 453 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:23,259 how will you ever know what wonderful opportunities 454 00:16:23,293 --> 00:16:24,760 might be just around the corner? 455 00:16:24,794 --> 00:16:26,062 That's good advice. 456 00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:27,930 Maybe you should take it. 457 00:16:28,764 --> 00:16:29,732 Me? 458 00:16:29,765 --> 00:16:30,866 I'm not quitting Drama. 459 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,368 I made up that whole story. 460 00:16:32,402 --> 00:16:34,704 I kick great! 461 00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:36,406 Whoa. Yeah. 462 00:16:36,439 --> 00:16:39,075 I just want you to keep hunting for your next challenge, 463 00:16:39,109 --> 00:16:40,576 no matter how long it takes. 464 00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:42,612 You deserve to find your passion. 465 00:16:42,645 --> 00:16:43,379 Thanks, son. 466 00:16:43,413 --> 00:16:44,714 Your support means a lot. 467 00:16:45,981 --> 00:16:48,518 You get your high kick from your old man, you know. 468 00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:51,221 My side of the family is famous for our loose groins. 469 00:16:53,323 --> 00:16:55,725 Hey, here's a thought. 470 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:57,927 How about today we study to music? 471 00:16:59,995 --> 00:17:01,697 I said study to music! 472 00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:07,470 The whole time I thought she was in silent contemplation, 473 00:17:07,503 --> 00:17:09,172 she's just been snoozing! 474 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,541 * Baby, baby * 475 00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:12,608 * I'm taken with the notion * 476 00:17:12,642 --> 00:17:14,310 Oh, no, Amy Grant? 477 00:17:14,344 --> 00:17:15,411 I'm sorry, Tina. 478 00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:17,480 I forgot how much you hate Amy Grant. 479 00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:18,881 Jessica: What? 480 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:20,049 That can't be true! 481 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,152 Amy Grant has the voice of an angel! 482 00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:23,153 Tina! 483 00:17:23,186 --> 00:17:24,754 She's my mom's favorite singer. 484 00:17:24,787 --> 00:17:26,822 You're basically saying my mom has no taste. 485 00:17:26,856 --> 00:17:28,724 I haven't said anything. 486 00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,826 Are you just gonna sit there and let this high school girl 487 00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:32,162 tell you you're tasteless? 488 00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:34,830 That's not the fiery Keds-kicking tempest I know. 489 00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,732 Tempest? 490 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,201 Eddie, what is this? 491 00:17:39,202 --> 00:17:41,003 He's trying, 492 00:17:41,036 --> 00:17:42,638 with the subtlety of an elephant, 493 00:17:42,672 --> 00:17:44,140 to cause friction between us. 494 00:17:44,174 --> 00:17:45,975 So what? 495 00:17:46,008 --> 00:17:47,610 You're not okay with us hanging out? 496 00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:49,011 You lied to me? 497 00:17:49,044 --> 00:17:50,480 I plead the fourth. 498 00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:53,183 Oh, he's so close to knowing stuff. 499 00:17:53,216 --> 00:17:54,684 First you don't want us to meet, 500 00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:56,319 and then when we do and get along, 501 00:17:56,352 --> 00:17:57,187 you try to ruin it? 502 00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:59,322 What's wrong with you? 503 00:17:59,355 --> 00:18:00,856 * The birds above are singing you a chorus * 504 00:18:00,890 --> 00:18:04,660 Whoa, feeling a lotta red auras in here. 505 00:18:04,694 --> 00:18:07,597 * Baby, I'm so glad you're mine * 506 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,699 You didn't want me to meet Tina? 507 00:18:09,732 --> 00:18:10,533 Of course not. 508 00:18:10,566 --> 00:18:11,834 You have strong opinions 509 00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:14,003 which you express hourly at peak volume. 510 00:18:14,036 --> 00:18:15,605 It's called confidence. 511 00:18:15,638 --> 00:18:16,539 It's a gift. 512 00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:17,840 I'm sorry. 513 00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:20,376 I just thought you might ruin my relationship. 514 00:18:20,410 --> 00:18:21,377 What? 515 00:18:21,411 --> 00:18:22,978 I would never do that. 516 00:18:23,012 --> 00:18:24,614 Well, it doesn't matter. 517 00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:27,317 I already ruined everything all on my own. 518 00:18:28,851 --> 00:18:32,054 Okay, I may have been pushing it a little bit with Tina. 519 00:18:32,087 --> 00:18:33,989 Did you really have to braid her hair? 520 00:18:34,023 --> 00:18:35,825 You don't know a woman's true beauty 521 00:18:35,858 --> 00:18:37,493 until you see her neck. 522 00:18:38,428 --> 00:18:40,663 I just wanted us to get along 523 00:18:40,696 --> 00:18:42,965 because I knew how much you liked her. 524 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,066 How? 525 00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:45,735 I barely told you about her. 526 00:18:45,768 --> 00:18:47,370 That's how I knew. 527 00:18:48,538 --> 00:18:50,740 And I know why you like her. 528 00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:52,508 Because she's like me -- 529 00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:54,244 direct, smart, 530 00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:56,512 and you always know what's on her mind. 531 00:18:56,546 --> 00:18:59,515 Yeah, well, right now, she's thinking she hates me. 532 00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:00,650 No, she's not. 533 00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:03,319 She obviously cares about you a lot. 534 00:19:03,353 --> 00:19:05,521 Another thing we have in common. 535 00:19:05,555 --> 00:19:07,022 Now go fix this. 536 00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:10,025 Oh, and Eddie...? 537 00:19:10,059 --> 00:19:12,728 Don't ever weaponize Amy Grant again. 538 00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:17,099 Before you cut me out of all your photos, 539 00:19:17,132 --> 00:19:19,034 I wanted to say I'm really sorry. 540 00:19:19,068 --> 00:19:21,170 And I understand if you want to break up with me. 541 00:19:22,572 --> 00:19:23,539 If I broke up with you 542 00:19:23,573 --> 00:19:25,174 every time you did something weird, 543 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,676 we wouldn't have lasted an hour. 544 00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,177 Yeah. 545 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,845 Props for tolerance. 546 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,347 I just want you to be honest. 547 00:19:31,381 --> 00:19:32,415 You should have told me 548 00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:33,849 you were nervous about me meeting your mom. 549 00:19:33,883 --> 00:19:35,285 I know. 550 00:19:35,318 --> 00:19:36,852 And that you'd rather hang out on our own. 551 00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:37,853 I would too. 552 00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:39,021 Really? 553 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:40,456 Of course. 554 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:42,425 I like Jessica, but I'm dating you. 555 00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:45,395 I laid it on a little thick because she's your mom. 556 00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:46,962 I want to get along. 557 00:19:46,996 --> 00:19:49,699 But between you and me, she braids way too tight. 558 00:19:49,732 --> 00:19:50,933 I liked you in braids. 559 00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:52,535 You looked kinda like the Wendy's girl -- 560 00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,704 the hottest of the fast-food mascots. 561 00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:56,772 Do you ever stop thinking about burgers? 562 00:19:56,806 --> 00:19:58,274 Sometimes I think about sliders. 563 00:19:58,308 --> 00:19:59,675 Do sliders count as burgers? 564 00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:02,044 There's no correct answer. 565 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,713 It's an eternal debate. 566 00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:10,420 You want to listen? 567 00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:11,454 Buck a minute. 568 00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:13,088 I got to get your chair a bell. 569 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:22,298 I think male modeling is out. 570 00:20:22,332 --> 00:20:24,133 I've been told I have feminine ankles. 571 00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,000 Mom? 572 00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:27,503 Louis Huang? 573 00:20:27,537 --> 00:20:28,838 I've been looking for you! 574 00:20:28,871 --> 00:20:30,406 I was actually at the talk you gave the other night. 575 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,441 My name's Tom. 576 00:20:32,475 --> 00:20:34,076 Were you the one who threw the smoothie at me? 577 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,845 I was taken aback. Those are not cheap. 578 00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:38,147 You've inspired me to chase my dreams, 579 00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,783 and I was thinking maybe you'd like to invest 580 00:20:40,816 --> 00:20:41,784 in my new business. 581 00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:45,187 Well, I'm flattered. Lay it on me. 582 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,656 It's a website 583 00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:48,658 where a person has their own space 584 00:20:48,691 --> 00:20:51,160 to post pictures and notes 585 00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:53,929 that they can share with friends and family. 586 00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,002 Uh, they can already do that through a little company 587 00:21:00,035 --> 00:21:01,504 called The United States Postal Service. 588 00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:04,206 Well, I mean, this is... 589 00:21:04,239 --> 00:21:06,709 I'm gonna have to pass. Thanks for stopping by. 590 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:09,211 Keep thinking. 591 00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:12,348 Okay. 592 00:21:12,382 --> 00:21:14,116 Oof. 593 00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:15,184 Can you imagine? 594 00:21:15,217 --> 00:21:16,686 Who wants to look at other people's photos 595 00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:17,720 on the computer? 596 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,725 That's so dumb. 597 00:21:23,559 --> 00:21:24,694 Oh, gosh. 598 00:21:24,727 --> 00:21:26,429 What an idiot.