1 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:35,866 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,000 >> John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 3 00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:37,933 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!" 4 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,600 I'M JOHN OLIVER. 5 00:00:42,666 --> 00:00:43,200 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING 6 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:43,366 US. 7 00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:44,000 JUST TIME FOR A QUICK RECAP OF 8 00:00:44,066 --> 00:00:44,633 THE WEEK, WHICH HAS BEEN BUSY. 9 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,033 THE CDC EXPANDED ELIGIBILITY FOR 10 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:48,366 BOOSTER SHOTS, THE HOUSE VOTED 11 00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:50,366 TO HOLD STEVE BANNON IN CONTEMPT 12 00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:51,300 OF CONGRESS, AND ADELE WORE THE 13 00:00:51,366 --> 00:00:52,666 SHIT OUT OF THIS HEAD TO TOE 14 00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:55,433 CHOCOLATE LEATHER OUTFIT. 15 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:58,600 NO ONE'S WORN CHOCOLATE THAT 16 00:00:58,666 --> 00:01:02,233 WELL SINCE AUGUSTUS GLOOP. 17 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:02,833 THAT'S A FASHION FACT. 18 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:03,433 BUT WE'RE GOING TO START WITH 19 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:03,633 THIS. 20 00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,133 >> IN POLICE DEPARTMENTS 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,333 NATIONWIDE, A CRUSH OF VACCINE 22 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,433 MANDATES ARE A FLASH POINT FOR 23 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,633 OFFICERS FACED WITH ROLLING UP 24 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:11,233 THEIR SLEEVES OR LOSING THEIR 25 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:11,800 JOBS. 26 00:01:11,866 --> 00:01:13,533 >> IN LEESBURG, VIRGINIA, SOME 27 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:14,800 OFFICERS SAY THEY MAY QUIT IF 28 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:15,600 THE VACCINE MANDATE MOVES 29 00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:17,533 FORWARD. 30 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,000 >> IN MASSACHUSETTS, THE STATE 31 00:01:19,066 --> 00:01:20,433 POLICE UNION BELIEVES AT LEAST 32 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,066 150 STATE POLICE OFFICERS WILL 33 00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:23,500 RESIGN. 34 00:01:23,566 --> 00:01:24,900 >> ONE TROOPER WHO DECIDED TO 35 00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:25,533 QUIT HAD SOME CHOICE WORDS FOR 36 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,300 THE GOVERNOR ON THE WAY OUT. 37 00:01:27,366 --> 00:01:28,866 >> THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU'LL 38 00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:30,633 HEAR ME IN A STATE PATROL CAR. 39 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:35,400 AND JAY INSLEE CAN KISS MY ASS. 40 00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:37,366 >> John: WOW, A WALKIE DROP! 41 00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,133 YOU DON'T SEE MANY OF THOSE! 42 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,300 AND THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE IT 43 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,233 LOOKS PATHETIC. 44 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,866 DROPPING A MICROPHONE IS 45 00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,100 INHERENTLY EXCITING. 46 00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:45,733 YOU GET THE THUD AS IT HITS THE 47 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,533 FLOOR, AND THE CHEER OF THE 48 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,433 CROWD, BUT A WALKIE DROP? 49 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:50,600 THAT'S JUST A SAD MAN SITTING IN 50 00:01:50,666 --> 00:01:52,366 A DARK CAR, DROPPING A HEAVY 51 00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:54,566 OBJECT DIRECTLY ONTO HIS PENIS. 52 00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,900 BUT IT'S TRUE. 53 00:01:56,966 --> 00:01:58,333 ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, A SMALL 54 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,666 MINORITY OF POLICE OFFICERS HAVE 55 00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:01,200 RECEIVED DISPROPORTIONATE 56 00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:02,666 COVERAGE AFTER THREATENING TO 57 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:04,500 RESIGN OVER COVID MANDATES. 58 00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:05,566 THEY'VE FRAMED THIS AS A MATTER 59 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:07,133 OF INDIVIDUAL LIBERTY, EVEN IN 60 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,666 CASES WHERE VERY LITTLE WAS 61 00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:10,466 BEING ASKED OF THEM. 62 00:02:10,533 --> 00:02:11,966 IN CHICAGO, OFFICERS WERE MERELY 63 00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:13,333 ASKED TO REGISTER THEIR 64 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,066 VACCINATION STATUS ON A PORTAL, 65 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:16,700 AND FOR NOW CAN STILL WORK IF 66 00:02:16,766 --> 00:02:17,800 THEY'RE UNVACCINATED, SO LONG AS 67 00:02:17,866 --> 00:02:20,200 THEY'RE REGULARLY TESTED. 68 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,766 BUT NEVERTHELESS, JOHN 69 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:23,166 CATANZARA, THE HEAD OF CHICAGO'S 70 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:24,900 FRATERNAL ORDER OF POLICE, TOLD 71 00:02:24,966 --> 00:02:26,733 HIS OFFICERS FLAT OUT, "DO NOT 72 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,233 COMPLY WITH ANY DIRECT ORDER TO 73 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,500 FILL OUT THE PORTAL, PERIOD." 74 00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:33,166 HE'S ACTUALLY BEEN ESPECIALLY 75 00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:33,833 VOCAL IN HIS OPPOSITION TO 76 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,400 VACCINE MANDATES FOR OFFICERS, 77 00:02:35,466 --> 00:02:38,833 INCLUDING AN OFFENSIVE STATEMENT 78 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:39,733 THAT I'M NOT GOING TO REPEAT, 79 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,566 I'M JUST GOING TO SHOW YOU HIS 80 00:02:40,633 --> 00:02:41,166 APOLOGY FOR IT, BECAUSE I DO 81 00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,100 THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WORK IT 82 00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:43,466 OUT FROM CONTEXT. 83 00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:44,800 >> IN NO WAY WAS I TRYING TO TIE 84 00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:46,233 FORCED VACCINATIONS TO THE 85 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,100 ATROCITIES OF THE HOLOCAUST, 86 00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:49,700 WHICH IS WHY I NEVER USED THE 87 00:02:49,766 --> 00:02:51,766 WORD HOLOCAUST. 88 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,200 I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE THE 89 00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:54,133 REFERENCE LIKE I DID TO THE 90 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,300 SHOWERS AND FOR THAT I AM SORRY. 91 00:02:58,366 --> 00:02:59,866 >> John: WOW, JUST A BIG YIKES 92 00:02:59,933 --> 00:03:01,300 TO EVERYTHING GOING ON THERE. 93 00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:03,166 SETTING ASIDE THE PRONUNCIATION 94 00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:04,366 OF "HOLE-OCAUST" -- AND BELIEVE 95 00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:06,033 ME, I HAVE NOTHING BUT QUESTIONS 96 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,500 ABOUT THAT -- ARGUING THAT, 97 00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:08,600 "TECHNICALLY I NEVER SAID THE 98 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,766 WORD HOLOCAUST, I JUST 99 00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:13,566 REFERENCED THE SHOWERS" IS 100 00:03:13,633 --> 00:03:14,166 TOTALLY ABSURD. 101 00:03:14,233 --> 00:03:14,766 AND FINALLY -- AND THIS IS 102 00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:15,566 PROBABLY THE LEAST IMPORTANT 103 00:03:15,633 --> 00:03:17,033 THING TO SAY HERE -- AT LEAST 104 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:17,766 CENTER YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING 105 00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:20,100 FRAME! 106 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,066 IT'S JUST NOT THAT HARD! 107 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:21,666 A QUICK SCOOTCH OF THE LAPTOP 108 00:03:21,733 --> 00:03:23,166 AND YOU'RE THERE. 109 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,200 AND LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE IN 110 00:03:24,266 --> 00:03:25,600 THE BUSINESS OF ART DIRECTING 111 00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,966 "HOLE-OCAUST" NON-APOLOGIES, BUT 112 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:31,100 FRANKLY, YOU'VE LEFT ME NO 113 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:31,333 CHOICE. 114 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,100 AND YOU SHOULD KNOW, EVEN BY THE 115 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:34,033 SUBTERRANEAN STANDARDS OF THE 116 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:37,166 CHICAGO PD, THIS GUY IS A LOT. 117 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:38,666 HE HAS BEEN SUSPENDED EIGHT 118 00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,100 TIMES AND HAS RECEIVED MORE 119 00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:40,766 MISCONDUCT COMPLAINTS PER YEAR 120 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:43,633 OF SERVICE THAN 96% OF HIS 121 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,066 FELLOW CHICAGO OFFICERS. 122 00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,866 AND YET, THIS IS WHO HIS UNION 123 00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,066 MEMBERS CHOSE TO REPRESENT THEM. 124 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:50,466 SO NEXT TIME SOMEONE SAYS TO 125 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,600 YOU, "NOT ALL COPS ARE BAD," YOU 126 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,266 CAN RESPOND, "NO, JUST THEIR 127 00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,700 FAVORITE ONES!" 128 00:03:56,766 --> 00:03:58,266 AND CATANZARA'S HOSTILITY TO A 129 00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,900 VACCINE MANDATE IS PARTICULARLY 130 00:03:59,966 --> 00:04:00,666 NOTEWORTHY GIVEN ONE OF HIS 131 00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:01,866 PREDECESSORS AS HEAD OF THE 132 00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:03,466 UNION DIED OF COVID JUST THIS 133 00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:05,933 MONTH. 134 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,300 WHICH ACTUALLY BRINGS US TO A 135 00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,866 STAGGERING FACT. 136 00:04:08,933 --> 00:04:09,866 >> SINCE THE START OF THE 137 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:11,533 PANDEMIC, MORE THAN FOUR TIMES 138 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,466 AS MANY OFFICERS HAVE DIED FROM 139 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:15,300 COVID-19 AS FROM GUNFIRE. 140 00:04:15,366 --> 00:04:16,266 THIS DESPITE BEING AMONG THE 141 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:20,733 FIRST GROUPS TO HAVE ACCESS TO 142 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:20,900 SHOW 143 00:04:20,966 --> 00:04:21,266 THE VACCINE. 144 00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:21,833 >> John: YEAH. 145 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,000 FOUR TIMES MORE POLICE OFFICERS 146 00:04:23,066 --> 00:04:23,533 HAVE DIED FROM COVID THAN 147 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:24,266 GUNFIRE. 148 00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:29,600 THAT'S A TERRIBLE STATISTIC, 149 00:04:29,666 --> 00:04:30,333 WHICH YOU MIGHT NOT FULLY 150 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:30,966 ABSORB, GIVEN THAT CNN'S 151 00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:31,600 GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT REPRESENTED 152 00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:32,966 IT WITH ONE BAR THAT'S ONLY 153 00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:35,100 ABOUT TWICE AS BIG AS THE OTHER. 154 00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:35,966 SO WELCOME TO CNN. 155 00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,166 IF YOU WANT TO INSTANTLY 156 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,366 UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENT WAYS 157 00:04:38,433 --> 00:04:39,166 POLICE DIE, IT'S GOING TO BE 158 00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:40,533 TRICKY. 159 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,166 BUT IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND 160 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:43,433 THE ONE WAY A CERTAIN BRITISH 161 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,466 ROYAL DIED, IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY! 162 00:04:45,533 --> 00:04:46,000 9:00 P.M. EASTERN, SUNDAY 163 00:04:46,066 --> 00:04:47,300 NIGHTS. 164 00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:48,433 THOUGH NO NEED TO WATCH. 165 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:49,166 SPOILER ALERT, IT WAS THE 166 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:52,200 MOTHER-IN-LAW. 167 00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:53,833 THERE'S ALSO THE KEY MATTER OF 168 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:54,933 THE FACT THAT THE POLICE ARE 169 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:55,466 SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING THE 170 00:04:55,533 --> 00:04:56,866 PUBLIC SAFE. 171 00:04:56,933 --> 00:04:59,166 THAT'S THE POINT OF THEIR JOBS. 172 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,700 YET SOME DON'T SEEM TO GIVE MUCH 173 00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:02,933 OF A SHIT ABOUT THAT. 174 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,100 TAKE THIS VIDEO OF NYPD OFFICERS 175 00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:06,466 FLIPPING OUT OVER A SUBWAY RIDER 176 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:07,633 WHO SIMPLY ASKED THEM TO PUT ON 177 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,600 A MASK. 178 00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:10,966 >> CELL PHONE VIDEO TAKEN 179 00:05:11,033 --> 00:05:12,266 TUESDAY MORNING SHOWS AN 180 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,800 UNMASKED NYPD OFFICER PUSHING A 181 00:05:14,866 --> 00:05:17,233 MASKED COMMUTER OUT OF THE 8TH 182 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,000 STREET SUBWAY STATION AND 183 00:05:18,066 --> 00:05:21,233 CLOSING THE EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR. 184 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,466 AS THE COP WALKS AWAY, HE SAYS. 185 00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:25,533 >> YOU'RE BEING DISRUPTIVE. 186 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,900 >> John: OKAY, FIRST, YOU OPENED 187 00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:28,866 THE EMERGENCY DOOR? 188 00:05:28,933 --> 00:05:30,300 OH, NO! 189 00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:32,200 EVERYONE IN NEW YORK KNOWS YOU 190 00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:35,233 CAN'T OPEN THE EMERGENCY DOOR! 191 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,800 NOT UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY! 192 00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:39,800 ALSO, DISRUPTIVE? 193 00:05:39,866 --> 00:05:40,566 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON THE 194 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,233 SUBWAY? 195 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,333 YOU KNOW, THE BIG METAL WORM 196 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,533 THAT SCREAMS? 197 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,800 THE PLACE WHERE EVERY DAY, YOU 198 00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:48,100 SEE THE BIGGEST RAT TO EVER WALK 199 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,200 THE EARTH AND THEN YOU JUST GO 200 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:53,066 TO WORK LIKE IT'S NOTHING? 201 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,400 YOU'RE IN DISRUPTION JUNCTION, 202 00:05:54,466 --> 00:05:55,366 BABY. 203 00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:56,333 IT'S ALSO WORTH REMEMBERING THAT 204 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,166 NEW YORK STILL HAS A MASK 205 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:58,433 MANDATE ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, AND 206 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,300 ANYONE CAUGHT WITHOUT ONE RISKS 207 00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:01,733 A $50 FINE -- EXCEPT, 208 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,233 APPARENTLY, THE COPS. 209 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:05,933 AND THIS ALL SUMS UP THE 210 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:06,500 AMERICAN POLICE PROBLEM IN 211 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,800 MINIATURE. 212 00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:09,000 THE CONSTANT REFRAIN WE HEAR 213 00:06:09,066 --> 00:06:11,233 FROM COPS EVERY TIME THEY KILL 214 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,733 AN UNARMED BLACK PERSON IS "THEY 215 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,700 SHOULD HAVE COMPLIED WITH 216 00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:14,533 COMMANDS," BECAUSE AS LONG AS 217 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,433 YOU COMPLY, THINGS WILL 218 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,133 SUPPOSEDLY GO WELL. 219 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,000 BUT THAT ONLY SEEMS TO WORK ONE 220 00:06:19,066 --> 00:06:21,300 WAY. 221 00:06:21,366 --> 00:06:22,400 BECAUSE WHEN OFFICERS ARE ASKED 222 00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:23,000 TO FOLLOW SIMPLE RULES OR FACE 223 00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:24,233 CONSEQUENCES, A NOT 224 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,800 INSIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF THEM 225 00:06:26,866 --> 00:06:27,633 FLIP THEIR SHIT. 226 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,266 SO YOU KNOW WHAT? 227 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:30,800 IF AN OFFICER WANTS TO QUIT OVER 228 00:06:30,866 --> 00:06:37,433 THIS, FUCKING LET THEM. 229 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,066 LET THE INDIVIDUALS WHO CLEARLY 230 00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:38,666 DON'T CARE ABOUT PUBLIC SAFETY 231 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:39,266 STOP BEING IN CHARGE OF PUBLIC 232 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,500 SAFETY. 233 00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:45,300 IT IS REALLY THAT SIMPLE. 234 00:06:45,366 --> 00:06:46,766 AND, BY THE WAY, THAT IS A 235 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:47,366 MOTHERFUCKING WALKIE DROP. 236 00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:48,000 OW. 237 00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:52,666 AND NOW THIS. 238 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:54,833 >> AND NOW, THE WEATHER 239 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,000 CHANNEL'S GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT IS 240 00:06:57,066 --> 00:07:01,166 STILL NOT FUCKING AROUND. 241 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:03,233 >> LET'S TAKE THIS CAR INTO 242 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,100 AUGMENTED REALITY AND TALK ABOUT 243 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:06,100 HOW THE WEATHER IMPACTS YOUR 244 00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:06,333 TRAVEL. 245 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,466 >> YOU TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF LIKE 246 00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:09,933 THAT TO GET TO YOUR SPOT. 247 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,233 >> BEING CLOSE TO A RAGING 248 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,433 WILDFIRE LIKE THIS ONE IS A 249 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,133 TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE. 250 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,700 >> YOU CAN SEE LARGE OBJECTS, A 251 00:07:16,766 --> 00:07:20,266 TRUCK RIGHT HERE. 252 00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,100 THOSE SNOWMOBILES CAN REALLY 253 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,033 PICK UP SPEED. 254 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,866 >> WAS AS A TRULY 255 00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:25,833 LIFE-THREATENING. 256 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,166 >> THIS IS AN SUV. 257 00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:30,000 >> YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING, A 258 00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:30,900 BUS? 259 00:07:30,966 --> 00:07:32,500 I HOPE THIS BUS STOPS. 260 00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:34,366 >> YOU MIGHT GET CAUGHT 261 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:38,633 OFF GUARD. 262 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:40,600 >> TREES AND STARTED TO COME 263 00:07:40,666 --> 00:07:40,800 DOWN. 264 00:07:40,866 --> 00:07:41,800 >> WHAT'S THAT? 265 00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:47,600 THAT'S THE MAGIC TOP HAT. 266 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:48,633 THE SCENE WITH THE FOG IS 267 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,300 GETTING PRETTY SPOOKY. 268 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:53,700 WATCH OUT, HE IS COMING FOR YOU. 269 00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,566 WHERE IS MY BROOM? 270 00:07:54,633 --> 00:08:06,233 THIS WHICH IS OUT OF HERE. 271 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:06,666 >> John: MOVING ON. 272 00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:07,300 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS 273 00:08:07,366 --> 00:08:07,533 TAIWAN. 274 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,200 IT'S HONESTLY REMARKABLE THAT WE 275 00:08:08,266 --> 00:08:09,500 HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT TAIWAN 276 00:08:09,566 --> 00:08:10,233 BEFORE ON THIS SHOW GIVEN IT'S 277 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:10,833 THE BIRTHPLACE OF BUBBLE TEA, 278 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,000 WHICH IS DELICIOUS, EVEN THOUGH 279 00:08:12,066 --> 00:08:13,600 TAPIOCA BALLS SOUNDS LIKE A SEX 280 00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:16,333 MOVE FOR PEOPLE OVER 70, AND 281 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,500 ESPECIALLY SINCE TAIWAN SHARES 282 00:08:17,566 --> 00:08:19,366 OUR UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH 283 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,033 MASCOTS, CITIES THERE MAKE TONS 284 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,333 OF THEM. 285 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,266 THERE'S THIS ONE, THE MILKFISH 286 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,000 KID, CELEBRATING ONE AREA'S 287 00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:26,200 MILKFISH PRODUCTION. 288 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:27,066 AND THERE'S THIS ONE, FROM A 289 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:27,800 REGION THAT PRODUCES BANANAS, 290 00:08:27,866 --> 00:08:28,666 WHICH I DO NOT WANT TO TALK 291 00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,600 ABOUT. 292 00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:31,966 IN FACT, TAIWAN MAKES SO MANY 293 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,033 MASCOTS THAT IN SOME CITIES, THE 294 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,100 VERY ACT OF STORING THEM HAS 295 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,933 BECOME A PROBLEM. 296 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,433 >> WE WENT WITH THE CITY 297 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,066 COUNCILOR TO A TAIPEI PUBLIC 298 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,366 SCHOOL FOLLOWING HER INTO THE 299 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,033 DEPTHS OF A BASEMENT PARKING 300 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,800 LOT. 301 00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:45,133 HERE BEHIND A DOOR, WE 302 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:45,933 DISCOVERED A MOUNTAIN OF 303 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,633 ABANDONED MASCOTS. 304 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,966 THIS IS SACRED FIRE BABY FROM 305 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,233 2013 NATIONAL GAMES HELD IN 306 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:58,233 TAIPEI. 307 00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,600 >> THE CITY GOVERNMENT SHOULD 308 00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:00,933 REALLY THINK ABOUT WHETHER IT'S 309 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:01,466 NECESSARY TO KEEP CREATING 310 00:09:01,533 --> 00:09:03,733 ONE-OFF MASCOTS. 311 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,133 >> John: OH, COME ON. 312 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,600 YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP MAKING 313 00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,266 MASCOTS AND THROWING THEM AWAY. 314 00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,466 THANKFULLY, AT THE END OF EACH 315 00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:13,200 OF OUR SEASONS, OUR MASCOTS GO 316 00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:13,766 TO LIVE ON A BEAUTIFUL FARM. 317 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:15,633 A FANTASTIC GREEN FARM, WHERE 318 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:16,200 JEFF THE DISEASED LUNG CAN 319 00:09:16,266 --> 00:09:18,333 BREATHE FRESH AIR, AND THE POLAR 320 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,666 BEAR WITH A BROKEN PENIS CAN GET 321 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,100 THE CARE HE SO BADLY NEEDS. 322 00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:22,866 I KEEP ASKING MY PRODUCER WHERE 323 00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:24,533 THIS FARM IS, AND SHE KEEPS 324 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,200 SAYING, "I'LL TELL YOU WHEN 325 00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:26,100 YOU'RE OLDER." 326 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,300 I CAN'T WAIT! 327 00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:30,600 BUT OBVIOUSLY, THE MAJOR REASON 328 00:09:30,666 --> 00:09:32,100 TAIWAN ENDS UP IN THE NEWS THESE 329 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,566 DAYS IS BECAUSE OF ITS 330 00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:34,433 RELATIONSHIP WITH CHINA, WHICH, 331 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:40,800 TO PUT IT MILDLY, IS FRAUGHT. 332 00:09:40,866 --> 00:09:41,366 AND RECENTLY, GETTING EVEN 333 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:41,666 FRAUGHTER. 334 00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:42,533 >> CHINA HAS LONG VIEWED TAIWAN 335 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,200 AS ITS OWN NATIONAL TERRITORY. 336 00:09:44,266 --> 00:09:45,233 CHINA'S PRESIDENT, XI JINPING, 337 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,833 ON SATURDAY ALL BUT DECLARING IT 338 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,733 POLICY. 339 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,366 "THE COMPLETE REUNIFICATION OF 340 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:52,366 OUR COUNTRY MUST BE AND WILL BE 341 00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:53,733 REALIZED," HE SAID. 342 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,400 >> MILITARY TENSIONS BETWEEN THE 343 00:09:55,466 --> 00:09:56,666 TWO SIDES ARE SOARING. 344 00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:59,900 CHINA'S AIR FORCE SENT NEARLY 345 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:00,800 150 PLANES INTO TAIWAN'S AIR 346 00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:01,500 DEFENSE ZONE SINCE THE START OF 347 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,833 THIS MONTH. 348 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:07,200 >> John: YEAH. 349 00:10:07,266 --> 00:10:07,800 THEY DID. 350 00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:08,400 NOT EXACTLY LIKE THAT, THOUGH, 351 00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:09,200 IN A BIG STACK. 352 00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:09,966 I'M PRESUMING THEY FLEW THE 353 00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,000 PLANES OUT ONE AT A TIME, NOT 354 00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:12,433 HEAPED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE 355 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,400 AN AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER'S 356 00:10:13,466 --> 00:10:16,300 NIGHTMARE. 357 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,700 THE POINT IS, CHINA INSISTS THAT 358 00:10:17,766 --> 00:10:18,800 TAIWAN, AN INDEPENDENTLY 359 00:10:18,866 --> 00:10:19,866 OPERATING ENTITY WITH ITS OWN 360 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,433 DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED LEADERS, 361 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,466 ARMED FORCES, AND CONSTITUTION, 362 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:25,433 IS ACTUALLY PART OF CHINA, AND 363 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,533 IN NO WAY A SEPARATE COUNTRY. 364 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,000 HERE'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT. 365 00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:30,566 THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT FEELS 366 00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:33,100 STRONGLY ABOUT THIS. 367 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,800 SO STRONGLY, IN FACT, THAT WHEN 368 00:10:34,866 --> 00:10:35,666 JOHN CENA WENT ON A PRESS TOUR 369 00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:37,033 FOR THE MOST RECENT "FAST & 370 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,333 FURIOUS" MOVIE AND SAID TAIWAN 371 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,200 IS THE FIRST "COUNTRY" THAT CAN 372 00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:41,100 WATCH "F9," THIS IS WHAT 373 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:42,866 HAPPENED NEXT. 374 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,900 >> ACTOR JOHN CENA HAS 375 00:10:44,966 --> 00:10:46,400 APOLOGIZED TO CHINA AFTER HE 376 00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:56,500 CALLED TAIWAN A COUNTRY. 377 00:10:56,566 --> 00:11:07,466 >> [SPEAKING MANDARIN] 378 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,966 >> John: EVERY PART OF THAT IS 379 00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:10,900 SO WEIRD. 380 00:11:10,966 --> 00:11:11,700 IT'S WEIRD JOHN CENA APOLOGIZED 381 00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:12,666 TO CHINA. 382 00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:13,966 IT'S WEIRD HE DID IT FOR CALLING 383 00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:15,033 TAIWAN A "COUNTRY." 384 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,033 AND IT'S WEIRD TO SEE HIM DO IT 385 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:18,566 IN PRETTY DECENT MANDARIN. 386 00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,600 THAT'S JUST TOO MANY WEIRD 387 00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:20,833 THINGS! 388 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,366 I HALF EXPECT THAT SHOT TO PAN 389 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:23,366 OUT TO REVEAL HE'S ALSO DOING A 390 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,533 NEEDLEPOINT OF LIAM NEESON 391 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,666 KISSING AN OSTRICH. 392 00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,166 HONESTLY, IT WOULD ONLY MAKE IT 393 00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:29,133 SLIGHTLY STRANGER. 394 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,900 BUT JOHN CENA ISN'T ALONE. 395 00:11:32,966 --> 00:11:34,000 TAIWAN IS SUCH A THIRD RAIL FOR 396 00:11:34,066 --> 00:11:35,233 CHINA THAT IT MAY BE WHY 397 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,433 PARAMOUNT PICTURES REMOVED THE 398 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,533 TAIWANESE FLAG FROM TOM CRUISE'S 399 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,766 JACKET FOR THE "TOP GUN" SEQUEL, 400 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,766 AND IT'S DEFINITELY WHY THE GAP 401 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:42,800 APOLOGIZED FOR RELEASING THIS 402 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,133 T-SHIRT FEATURING A MAP OF CHINA 403 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,500 WITHOUT TAIWAN ATTACHED. 404 00:11:47,566 --> 00:11:49,400 THAT SHIRT CAUSED A SHITSTORM, 405 00:11:49,466 --> 00:11:50,933 AND IT LED TO THE GAP, MAKERS OF 406 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,533 THE T-SHIRT DADS WEAR WHILE 407 00:11:54,600 --> 00:12:00,033 THEY'RE ON THE ELLIPTICAL FOR 408 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:00,633 30 MINUTES, APOLOGIZING TO 1.4 409 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:01,000 BILLION PEOPLE. 410 00:12:01,066 --> 00:12:05,100 SO IF CHINA IS GETTING T-SHIRT 411 00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:05,766 RETRACTIONS FROM THE GAP, LOUDLY 412 00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:06,633 VOWING TO REUNIFY WITH TAIWAN 413 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:07,900 AND SENDING STACKS OF WAR PLANES 414 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:08,900 TOWARDS IT IN RECORD-BREAKING 415 00:12:08,966 --> 00:12:10,066 NUMBERS, IT FEELS LIKE TONIGHT, 416 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:11,633 IT'D BE WORTH TAKING A LOOK AT 417 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,066 TAIWAN, HOW IT GOT TO BE IN THE 418 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,266 UNIQUE POSITION IT'S IN, WHAT 419 00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,400 THE WORLD WANTS FROM IT, AND 420 00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:17,433 MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHAT IT WANTS 421 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,366 FOR ITSELF. 422 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:20,400 AND LET'S START WITH HOW WE GOT 423 00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:23,300 HERE. 424 00:12:23,366 --> 00:12:23,933 HISTORICALLY, TAIWAN HAS BEEN 425 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,333 LIKE THE STANLEY CUP OF ASIAN 426 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,166 HISTORY, IN THAT DIFFERENT 427 00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:28,766 PEOPLE KEEP PASSING IT AROUND 428 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:30,633 AND CARVING THEIR NAMES ON IT. 429 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:31,700 HERE'S A LUDICROUSLY BRIEF 430 00:12:31,766 --> 00:12:32,500 HISTORY OF THE LAST 400 YEARS 431 00:12:32,566 --> 00:12:34,466 THERE. 432 00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,233 TAIWAN, OR AS IT'S SOMETIMES 433 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,666 BEEN CALLED, "FORMOSA," WAS 434 00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:38,200 FIRST HOME TO INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, 435 00:12:38,266 --> 00:12:39,266 THEN COLONIZED BY THE DUTCH, AND 436 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,033 BRIEFLY THE SPANISH, BEFORE 437 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,800 CHINA'S QING DYNASTY HELD IT FOR 438 00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:44,966 ABOUT 200 YEARS. 439 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,666 THEN, IN 1895, CHINA LOST TAIWAN 440 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,733 TO JAPAN, WHICH TURNED IT INTO A 441 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,833 SO-CALLED "MODEL COLONY," 442 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:51,900 IMPOSING JAPANESE CULTURAL 443 00:12:51,966 --> 00:12:53,166 VALUES, AND GENERALLY RULING IT 444 00:12:53,233 --> 00:12:54,500 WITH AN IRON FIST. 445 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,566 THEN, AFTER WORLD WAR II, TWO 446 00:12:56,633 --> 00:12:59,166 MAJOR THINGS HAPPENED. 447 00:12:59,233 --> 00:13:00,133 FIRST, THE ALLIES PUT TAIWAN 448 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,600 BACK UNDER CHINESE CONTROL. 449 00:13:01,666 --> 00:13:04,066 AND SECOND, THE CIVIL WAR THAT 450 00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:04,700 WAS TAKING PLACE IN CHINA 451 00:13:04,766 --> 00:13:05,366 BETWEEN THE NATIONALIST 452 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,566 GOVERNMENT LED BY CHIANG 453 00:13:06,633 --> 00:13:08,266 KAI-SHEK AND THE COMMUNISTS, LED 454 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,133 BY MAO ZEDONG, ENDED. 455 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,200 SPOILER ALERT, THE COMMUNISTS 456 00:13:11,266 --> 00:13:13,300 WON. 457 00:13:13,366 --> 00:13:15,066 CONGRATULATIONS TO MAO. 458 00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:17,533 AND IN THE WAKE OF THAT DEFEAT, 459 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,733 CHIANG KAI-SHEK FLED TO TAIWAN, 460 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,100 ALONG WITH 2 MILLION NATIONALIST 461 00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:22,266 SOLDIERS AND REFUGEES, BASICALLY 462 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,033 SETTING UP A CHINESE GOVERNMENT 463 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,066 IN EXILE. 464 00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:27,100 MEANING CHINA TECHNICALLY HAD 465 00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:28,566 TWO GOVERNMENTS AT THE TIME, ONE 466 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,333 IN CHINA, AND ONE IN TAIWAN. 467 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,833 AND WESTERN COUNTRIES WERE VERY 468 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,666 INVESTED IN THE SUCCESS OF THE 469 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,000 SECOND ONE, EVEN CALLING TAIWAN 470 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:39,200 "FREE CHINA," BECAUSE THEY SAW 471 00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,000 IT AS A NECESSARY BULWARK 472 00:13:40,066 --> 00:13:41,600 AGAINST COMMUNISM. 473 00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:43,733 >> AGAINST ALL PROPHECIES, 474 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,766 FORMOSA STILL KEEPS THE 475 00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:46,500 ANTI-COMMUNIST FLAG FLYING ONLY 476 00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:47,133 100 MILES OR SO OFF THE MAINLAND 477 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,800 OF CHINA. 478 00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:50,500 IT'S A PROSPEROUS ISLAND WHERE 479 00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:51,133 THE NEW GENERATIONS GROW UP IN 480 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,633 FREEDOM. 481 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,900 A COMPLETE CONTRAST TO 482 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:54,600 CONDITIONS UNDER THE RULE OF MAO 483 00:13:54,666 --> 00:13:57,033 TSE-TUNG. 484 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,233 >> John: I DO MISS THAT PERIOD 485 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,300 OF HUMAN HISTORY WHERE THE ONLY 486 00:13:59,366 --> 00:14:00,166 WAY TO LEARN ABOUT OTHER 487 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,866 CULTURES WAS TO HAVE A BRITISH 488 00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,266 MAN ON AMPHETAMINES TELL YOU 489 00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:04,233 WHICH WERE THE GOOD ONES AND 490 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,933 WHICH WERE THE BADDIES. 491 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,300 "HERE WE SEE FORMOSANS LIVING IN 492 00:14:07,366 --> 00:14:08,466 FREEDOM. 493 00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:09,566 WELL, NOT FREEDOM PER SE, BUT 494 00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:10,433 THE POINT IS, THEY'RE NOT 495 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,433 COMMIES, AND THAT'S WHERE MY 496 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:15,233 CURIOSITY TERMINATES." 497 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,666 BUT WHILE CHIANG KAI-SHEK MIGHT 498 00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:17,933 HAVE BEEN A STAUNCHLY 499 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,200 ANTI-COMMUNIST U.S. ALLY, 500 00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:20,800 HISTORICALLY, WE'VE HAD A LOT OF 501 00:14:20,866 --> 00:14:22,200 THOSE, AND THEY OFTEN HAVEN'T 502 00:14:22,266 --> 00:14:24,533 BEEN GREAT PEOPLE. 503 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,900 AND CHIANG RULED TAIWAN AS A 504 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,800 BRUTAL AUTHORITARIAN. 505 00:14:28,866 --> 00:14:30,533 >> THOUSANDS WERE SWEPT UP IN A 506 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,700 PERIOD THAT CAME TO BE KNOWN AS 507 00:14:31,766 --> 00:14:32,766 "THE WHITE TERROR," SUFFERING 508 00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:33,333 IMPRISONMENT, TORTURE, EVEN 509 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,166 EXECUTION. 510 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,333 DOING ANYTHING THAT COULD BE 511 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,900 REMOTELY CONSTRUED AS CRITICISM 512 00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:40,666 OF THE GOVERNMENT WAS EXTREMELY 513 00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,033 RISKY, AS ONE WRITER DISCOVERED 514 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,633 WHEN HE MERELY TRANSLATED A 515 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:49,600 POPEYE COMIC STRIP. 516 00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,166 >> POPEYE AND HIS SON WERE IN 517 00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:52,700 EXILE ON AN ISLAND AND THEY WERE 518 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:56,266 CAMPAIGNING FOR ELECTION THERE. 519 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,766 POPEYE GAVE A SPEECH AND USED AN 520 00:14:57,833 --> 00:15:01,033 ENGLISH WORD, "FELLOWS." 521 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,500 THERE COULD BE HUNDREDS OF 522 00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:04,100 TRANSLATIONS FOR "FELLOWS," BUT 523 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,566 I CHOSE ONE WHICH WAS, "ALL MY 524 00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:08,900 FELLOW COUNTRYMEN." 525 00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,766 THIS WAS TERRIBLE. 526 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:12,133 THE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION 527 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,333 ARRESTED ME SAYING, "WHY DIDN'T 528 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,200 YOU TRANSLATE IT INTO SOMETHING 529 00:15:14,266 --> 00:15:15,500 ELSE? 530 00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,966 THIS IS EXACTLY THE WAY OUR 531 00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:22,300 PRESIDENT CHIANG SPEAKS. 532 00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:23,666 YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF HIM. 533 00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:25,300 IT DESERVES THE DEATH PENALTY, 534 00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:30,633 NO DOUBT, THE DEATH PENALTY." 535 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,066 >> John: IT'S TRUE. 536 00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:31,833 THAT GUY WAS INTERROGATED FOR 537 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:32,433 MONTHS ON SUSPICION OF BEING A 538 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,133 COMMUNIST COLLABORATOR, AND 539 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,100 ULTIMATELY SPENT NINE YEARS IN 540 00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,800 PRISON, ALL BECAUSE CHIANG'S 541 00:15:35,866 --> 00:15:37,333 GOVERNMENT THOUGHT A POPEYE 542 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,433 COMIC HAD A HIDDEN POLITICAL 543 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,000 MESSAGE. 544 00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:41,800 WHICH IS A BIT OF A REACH. 545 00:15:41,866 --> 00:15:43,333 THERE IS CLEARLY NO DEEPER 546 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,300 MEANING TO POPEYE COMICS, OTHER 547 00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:45,700 THAN WOMEN ARE INHERENTLY PRIZES 548 00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:47,800 TO BE FOUGHT OVER, PERFORMANCE 549 00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:49,633 ENHANCING DRUGS ARE COOL, AND 550 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,900 BLUTO DOESN'T DESERVE LOVE. 551 00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,800 ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY, IN THE 552 00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:55,133 MIDDLE OF THE LAST CENTURY, 553 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,900 TAIWAN WAS A GRIM PLACE. 554 00:15:57,966 --> 00:16:00,600 BUT AFTER CHIANG DIED IN 1975, 555 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:01,666 UNDER PRESSURE BOTH 556 00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:02,700 INTERNATIONALLY AND FROM 557 00:16:02,766 --> 00:16:04,300 POLITICAL MOVEMENTS AT HOME, THE 558 00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:06,033 NATIONALISTS BEGAN TO LOOSEN 559 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,033 THEIR GRIP, ENDING MARTIAL LAW 560 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,200 IN THE LATE '80s AND OPENING THE 561 00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:10,033 DOOR TO FULL DEMOCRATIZATION. 562 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,500 SO AGAINST THE ODDS, TAIWAN 563 00:16:12,566 --> 00:16:14,533 SHIFTED FROM A DICTATORSHIP TO A 564 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,933 FUNCTIONING, VIBRANT DEMOCRACY, 565 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,266 AND I DO MEAN VIBRANT. 566 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:20,433 >> A DEBATE OVER HOW BILLIONS OF 567 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,500 EUROS WOULD BE ALLOCATED FOR AN 568 00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:23,366 INFRASTRUCTURE DEVELOPMENT PLAN 569 00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:24,366 DESCENDED INTO A BRAWL IN 570 00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:27,566 TAIWAN'S PARLIAMENT ON TUESDAY. 571 00:16:27,633 --> 00:16:29,233 MEMBERS OF THE RULING DEMOCRATIC 572 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:29,766 PROGRESSIVE PARTY AND THE 573 00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,000 OPPOSITION NATIONALISTS PARTY 574 00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:32,933 THREW WATER AND SHOVED EACH 575 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,366 OTHER TO THE FLOOR. 576 00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:36,666 TAIWAN'S MPS ARE KNOWN FOR 577 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:37,333 BRAWLING AND EVEN THROWING 578 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,366 OBJECTS AT EACH OTHER. 579 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,366 AND FIGHTS IN PARLIAMENT ARE 580 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,466 EVEN SEEN AS ONE WAY FOR THE 581 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:44,233 OPPOSITION TO SHOW VOTERS THAT 582 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,500 IT STANDS TOUGH ON ISSUES. 583 00:16:46,566 --> 00:16:47,600 >> John: YEAH! 584 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,600 FIGHTING IS NOT UNCOMMON IN 585 00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,866 TAIWAN'S PARLIAMENT. 586 00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:52,633 HERE THEY ARE THROWING WATER 587 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,500 BALLOONS AT EACH OTHER. 588 00:16:54,566 --> 00:16:56,366 AND HERE THEY ARE HURLING PIG 589 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,533 GUTS DURING A DEBATE ON PORK 590 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,533 IMPORTS. 591 00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,666 AND THAT'S NOT ALL. 592 00:16:59,733 --> 00:17:01,666 ONE TIME IN 2006, A MEMBER 593 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:02,800 SNATCHED A WRITTEN PROPOSAL OF A 594 00:17:02,866 --> 00:17:03,566 BILL AND SHOVED IT INTO HER OWN 595 00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:04,600 MOUTH. 596 00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:06,000 WHICH IS FANTASTIC, AND 597 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,400 DEFINITELY SOMETHING WE SHOULD 598 00:17:08,466 --> 00:17:09,066 STEAL. 599 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:09,700 YOU WANT TO KILL A CLEAN ENERGY 600 00:17:09,766 --> 00:17:10,566 BILL? 601 00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:13,133 PULL UP A CHAIR AND FUCKING EAT 602 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,133 ALL 900 PAGES OF IT. 603 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,533 BUT TAIWAN ISN'T JUST A 604 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,500 FUNCTIONING DEMOCRACY. 605 00:17:19,566 --> 00:17:20,300 IT'S A MAJOR PLAYER IN THE 606 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:21,233 GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN. 607 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,633 TAIWAN WAS THE FASTEST GROWING 608 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,366 ECONOMY IN ASIA LAST YEAR, AND 609 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,400 IT'S THE WORLD'S KEY 610 00:17:24,466 --> 00:17:26,333 MANUFACTURER OF SEMICONDUCTORS, 611 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,966 WHICH ARE USED EVERYWHERE IN 612 00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:31,333 PRODUCTS FROM CARS TO SEX TOYS. 613 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,933 SO THE NEXT TIME YOU FIRE UP A 614 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,366 BUTT PLUG THAT HAS 100,000 TIMES 615 00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:35,633 MORE COMPUTING POWER THAN THE 616 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,300 "APOLLO" MOON MISSION, MAKE SURE 617 00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:40,533 YOU SAY, "THANKS, TAIWAN." 618 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,433 SO ALL OF THIS BRINGS US TO 619 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,966 WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW, WITH 620 00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:45,433 TAIWAN ESTABLISHED AS A 621 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,000 HIGHLY-DEVELOPED AND WEALTHY 622 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,233 COUNTRY. 623 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,200 AND YET, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO 624 00:17:49,266 --> 00:17:50,566 CALL IT ONE. 625 00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:52,533 AND THAT BRINGS US BACK TO THE 626 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:53,266 HUGE, UNRESOLVED ISSUE OF 627 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,466 TAIWANESE SOVEREIGNTY. 628 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,400 BECAUSE CHINA NOW SEES CLAIMING 629 00:17:57,466 --> 00:17:58,433 TAIWAN AS A KEY POINT OF 630 00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,366 NATIONAL PRIDE, WITH XI JINPING 631 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:01,633 CALLING REUNIFICATION PART OF 632 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:02,800 HIS VISION FOR "THE GREAT 633 00:18:02,866 --> 00:18:05,966 REJUVENATION OF THE CHINESE 634 00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:06,200 NATION." 635 00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:06,933 AND ANYONE WANTING TO DO 636 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,533 BUSINESS IN CHINA KNOWS THAT 637 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,833 CALLING TAIWAN A COUNTRY IS A 638 00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,766 MASSIVE FAUX PAS. 639 00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,700 AND IT'S NOT JUST THE GAP AND 640 00:18:13,766 --> 00:18:16,266 JOHN CENA WHO'VE FOUND THAT OUT. 641 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:17,466 ALL OF THESE COMPANIES HAVE 642 00:18:17,533 --> 00:18:18,333 EITHER HAD TO APOLOGIZE FOR, OR 643 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,933 WALK BACK, EVEN THE SMALLEST 644 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,466 IMPLICATION THAT TAIWAN IS A 645 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,933 SEPARATE COUNTRY. 646 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,500 AND YOU CAN SEE THIS CAUTION 647 00:18:24,566 --> 00:18:26,300 EVERYWHERE. 648 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:27,333 AT THIS YEAR'S OLYMPICS, YOU 649 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,166 PROBABLY SAW TAIWANESE ATHLETES 650 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,166 COMPETING NOT UNDER THE 651 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:31,633 TAIWANESE FLAG, BUT UNDER THE 652 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,166 FAKE PSEUDO-FLAG OF "CHINESE 653 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,300 TAIPEI," SOMETHING THEY'VE BEEN 654 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,566 FORCED TO USE AT EVERY OLYMPICS 655 00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,066 SINCE THE 1980s WHEN THEY 656 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:39,000 REACHED A COMPROMISE WITH THE 657 00:18:39,066 --> 00:18:40,400 IOC THAT ALLOWED THEM TO 658 00:18:40,466 --> 00:18:41,800 PARTICIPATE WITHOUT ANGERING 659 00:18:41,866 --> 00:18:43,133 CHINA. 660 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,266 BUT THIS ARRANGEMENT ISN'T 661 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:45,033 SOMETHING THAT ALL TAIWANESE 662 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,266 PEOPLE APPRECIATE. 663 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,000 IN FACT, DURING THE 2012 GAMES, 664 00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:49,733 THE LEAD SINGER OF TAIWANESE 665 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,000 HEAVY-METAL BAND CHTHONIC 666 00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:55,166 POINTED OUT HOW LUDICROUS IT IS. 667 00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:56,566 >> OUR TEAM, OUR NATIONAL TEAM'S 668 00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,700 BEEN CALLED CHINESE FUCKING 669 00:18:57,766 --> 00:19:01,266 TAIPEI. 670 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,566 FUCKING BULLSHIT, RIGHT? 671 00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:03,166 "OH, WE CAN'T CALL YOU TAIWAN, 672 00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:04,433 SORRY. 673 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,166 WE HAVE TO CALL YOU CHINESE 674 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:09,233 FUCKING TAIPEI." 675 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,033 >> John: I KNOW I SAY THIS EVERY 676 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:11,733 WEEK, BUT THAT DEATH METAL 677 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,833 SINGER COMPLAINING ABOUT OLYMPIC 678 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,800 NOMENCLATURE HAS A POINT. 679 00:19:16,866 --> 00:19:18,400 ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, IF THEIR 680 00:19:18,466 --> 00:19:20,100 OFFICIAL OLYMPICS NAME REALLY 681 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,166 WAS "CHINESE FUCKING TAIPEI," 682 00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:23,300 THAT WOULD AT LEAST BE A LITTLE 683 00:19:23,366 --> 00:19:24,200 MORE ACCURATE VIS-A-VIS WHO'S 684 00:19:24,266 --> 00:19:26,766 FUCKING WHOM. 685 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,366 AND EVEN HUGE INTERNATIONAL 686 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:29,633 ORGANIZATIONS LIKE THE W.H.O. 687 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,233 ARE FORCED TO PLAY THIS 688 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,366 RIDICULOUS GAME, FREEZING OUT 689 00:19:32,433 --> 00:19:35,166 TAIWAN FROM FULL PARTICIPATION. 690 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,666 LAST YEAR, WHEN ONE W.H.O 691 00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:38,600 OFFICIAL WAS PRESSED ON THIS 692 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:40,766 POINT BY A HONG KONG NEWSCASTER, 693 00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:41,700 IT LED TO THIS VERY AWKWARD 694 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:43,866 INTERACTION. 695 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,866 >> WILL W.H.O. CONSIDER TAIWAN'S 696 00:19:45,933 --> 00:19:56,600 MEMBERSHIP? 697 00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:56,866 [LAUGHTER] 698 00:19:56,933 --> 00:19:58,266 HELLO? 699 00:19:58,333 --> 00:19:58,900 >> I'M SORRY. 700 00:19:58,966 --> 00:19:59,900 I CAN'T HEAR YOU. 701 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:00,500 I COULDN'T HEAR YOUR QUESTION. 702 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:00,833 >> OKAY, YEAH. 703 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:01,400 LET ME -- LET ME REPEAT THE 704 00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,066 QUESTION. 705 00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:02,766 >> NO, THAT'S OKAY. 706 00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:06,800 LET'S MOVE TO ANOTHER ONE THEN. 707 00:20:06,866 --> 00:20:07,533 >> I'M ACTUALLY CURIOUS ON 708 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,500 TALKING ABOUT TAIWAN AS WELL ON 709 00:20:08,566 --> 00:20:16,833 TAIWAN'S CASE. 710 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,366 [LAUGHTER] 711 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,466 >> WE DECIDED TO GIVE DR. 712 00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:19,133 AYLWARD ANOTHER CALL TO FOLLOW 713 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,433 UP. 714 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,666 >> AND I JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU 715 00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:23,333 CAN COMMENT A BIT ON HOW TAIWAN 716 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,500 HAS DONE SO FAR IN TERMS OF 717 00:20:24,566 --> 00:20:27,666 CONTAINING THE VIRUS. 718 00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:28,366 >> WELL, WE'VE ALREADY TALKED 719 00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:30,500 ABOUT CHINA. 720 00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:37,033 >> John: OH, WE DID, DID WE? 721 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:37,633 ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 722 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:38,366 BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE FIRST, YOU 723 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:38,933 PRETENDED NOT TO HEAR THE 724 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,800 QUESTION, THEN FAKED GETTING 725 00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:40,666 DISCONNECTED AFTER COMMITTING 726 00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:41,433 THE WORLD'S MOST TELEGRAPHED 727 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:43,766 LOGOFF. 728 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:44,900 THAT MAN COULDN'T BE MORE 729 00:20:44,966 --> 00:20:46,133 CLEARLY AVOIDING THE QUESTION IF 730 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,433 HE CAME BACK ONLINE PRETENDING 731 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,833 TO BE A LAMP. 732 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,200 "YOU CAN'T ASK A LAMP ABOUT 733 00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:52,900 TAIWAN. 734 00:20:52,966 --> 00:20:53,500 ESPECIALLY ME -- I ONLY SPEAK 735 00:20:53,566 --> 00:20:53,866 FRENCH. 736 00:20:53,933 --> 00:20:54,366 SO THAT'S TWO REASONS I 737 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:54,966 SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS 738 00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:55,700 QUESTION. 739 00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:56,666 I'M A LAMP, AND I ONLY SPEAK 740 00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:58,133 FRENCH, EXCEPT FOR THIS BRIEF 741 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,600 PARAGRAPH IN ENGLISH EXPLAINING 742 00:20:59,666 --> 00:21:01,033 MY SITUATION. 743 00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:02,400 AU REVOIR! 744 00:21:02,466 --> 00:21:06,033 JE SUIS LAMP." 745 00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,200 BUT IT'S NOT JUST COMPANIES AND 746 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,800 INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS. 747 00:21:08,866 --> 00:21:10,233 THE VAST MAJORITY OF WORLD 748 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:11,533 GOVERNMENTS HAVE NO OFFICIAL 749 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,366 DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH TAIWAN 750 00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:15,233 BECAUSE CHINA WON'T HAVE 751 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,366 DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH ANYONE 752 00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:17,766 WHO DOES. 753 00:21:17,833 --> 00:21:19,633 AND FOR ALL THE INITIAL 754 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:20,766 CHEERLEADING FROM WESTERN 755 00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:21,400 COUNTRIES ABOUT "TAIWAN'S PLUCK 756 00:21:21,466 --> 00:21:24,000 AND VERVE IN KEEPING THE 757 00:21:24,066 --> 00:21:27,433 ANTI-COMMUNIST FLAG FLYING?" 758 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:28,766 THINGS HAVE SHIFTED. 759 00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:30,133 BY THE END OF THE 1970s, MOST 760 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,233 COUNTRIES HAD SWITCHED THEIR 761 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:32,800 RECOGNITION OF CHINA'S OFFICIAL 762 00:21:32,866 --> 00:21:34,000 GOVERNMENT FROM THE ONE ON 763 00:21:34,066 --> 00:21:35,200 TAIWAN, KNOWN AS THE REPUBLIC OF 764 00:21:35,266 --> 00:21:37,400 CHINA, TO THE COMMUNIST ONE ON 765 00:21:37,466 --> 00:21:39,300 THE MAINLAND, THE PEOPLE'S 766 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:40,366 REPUBLIC OF CHINA. 767 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,033 IN FACT, TODAY, THE NUMBER OF 768 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,800 GOVERNMENTS STILL WILLING TO 769 00:21:43,866 --> 00:21:45,800 DIPLOMATICALLY RECOGNIZE TAIWAN 770 00:21:45,866 --> 00:21:47,533 HAS DWINDLED TO ONLY 14 771 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,366 COUNTRIES AND THE HOLY SEE. 772 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,300 ALTHOUGH THAT LAST ONE SHOULDN'T 773 00:21:50,366 --> 00:21:51,733 BE SURPRISING. 774 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,133 YOU KNOW THE POPE. 775 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,200 HE LOVES TO STIR SHIT UP. 776 00:21:56,266 --> 00:21:57,266 DRINKS WINE IN THE MORNING. 777 00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:58,366 HE'S A MESSY BITCH WHO LIVES FOR 778 00:21:58,433 --> 00:22:00,733 DRAMA. 779 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:01,833 AS FOR AMERICA, WE'VE SPENT THE 780 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:04,200 PAST HALF CENTURY WALKING A 781 00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:05,433 DIPLOMATIC TIGHTROPE WITH A 782 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,166 POLICY KNOWN AS "STRATEGIC 783 00:22:07,233 --> 00:22:08,466 AMBIGUITY." 784 00:22:08,533 --> 00:22:11,233 IT'S SOMETHING THAT LETS US 785 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:12,200 MAINTAIN FUNCTIONAL RELATIONS 786 00:22:12,266 --> 00:22:14,333 WITH TAIWAN AND STILL HAVE A 787 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,066 FULL FORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH 788 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:19,266 CHINA. 789 00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:19,866 IT'S AN APPROACH THAT BEGAN IN 790 00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:20,500 THE 1970s AND WAS BUILT UPON A 791 00:22:20,566 --> 00:22:21,100 SERIES OF INCREDIBLY CAREFULLY 792 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,800 WORDED STATEMENTS. 793 00:22:22,866 --> 00:22:34,666 >> THE UNITED STATES 794 00:22:34,733 --> 00:22:35,300 >> THE UNITED STATES IN ONE OF 795 00:22:35,366 --> 00:22:35,833 OUR COMMUNIQUES WITH THE 796 00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:36,366 PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA 797 00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:36,966 ACKNOWLEDGES THAT TAIWAN IS A 798 00:22:37,033 --> 00:22:38,733 PART OF CHINA. 799 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:39,366 BUT THE UNITED STATES ALSO DID 800 00:22:39,433 --> 00:22:39,933 NOT ACCEPT THE PRC CLAIM TO 801 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:40,166 TAIWAN. 802 00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:40,800 THAT HAS BEEN OUR POSITION EVER 803 00:22:40,866 --> 00:22:41,400 SINCE. 804 00:22:41,466 --> 00:22:42,900 AND SO, IN EFFECT, THE U.S. 805 00:22:42,966 --> 00:22:44,933 VIEWS TAIWAN'S STATUS AS 806 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,200 UNDETERMINED. 807 00:22:49,266 --> 00:22:49,800 >> John: RIGHT. 808 00:22:49,866 --> 00:22:50,566 WE ACKNOWLEDGED CHINA'S CLAIM, 809 00:22:50,633 --> 00:22:52,166 BUT DIDN'T AGREE WITH IT, 810 00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:53,233 LEAVING TAIWAN'S STATUS AS 811 00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:55,733 "UNDETERMINED." 812 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,533 YOU KNOW, LIKE SHRODINGER'S CAT, 813 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,000 OR THE SCIENTOLOGY VERSION, 814 00:22:58,066 --> 00:22:59,000 MISCAVIGE'S WIFE. 815 00:22:59,066 --> 00:23:00,166 THEY COULD BE ONE THING OR THE 816 00:23:00,233 --> 00:23:01,300 OTHER THING, AND NO ONE KNOWS 817 00:23:01,366 --> 00:23:02,266 FOR SURE, DO THEY, DAVID? 818 00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,666 HEY DAVID, DAVID, WHERE'S 819 00:23:04,733 --> 00:23:06,500 SHELLY? 820 00:23:06,566 --> 00:23:08,533 BUT THAT CONFUSION IS EMBLEMATIC 821 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,033 OF THE "STRATEGIC AMBIGUITY" 822 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,433 POLICY. 823 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:13,500 FOR INSTANCE, THE U.S. OPERATES 824 00:23:13,566 --> 00:23:14,333 OUT OF THIS BUILDING IN TAIWAN, 825 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,966 OFTEN REFERRED TO AS ITS "DE 826 00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:17,100 FACTO EMBASSY," BUT NOT, 827 00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:19,333 CRUCIALLY, AN ACTUAL EMBASSY. 828 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,733 MEANWHILE, TAIWAN HAS THIS 829 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,766 BUILDING IN D.C., WHICH DOES 830 00:23:22,833 --> 00:23:24,400 PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING THAT AN 831 00:23:24,466 --> 00:23:25,766 EMBASSY WOULD DO, JUST WITHOUT 832 00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:27,666 ACTUALLY BEING CALLED ONE. 833 00:23:27,733 --> 00:23:29,266 AND I KNOW THIS POLICY CAN 834 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:31,000 OCCASIONALLY SEEM RIDICULOUS, 835 00:23:31,066 --> 00:23:32,566 BUT THE UNCERTAINTY IS KIND OF 836 00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:34,333 THE POINT, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT 837 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,233 COMES TO DEFENSE. 838 00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:38,000 IN 1979, CONGRESS PASSED THE 839 00:23:38,066 --> 00:23:39,766 TAIWAN RELATIONS ACT, IN WHICH 840 00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:41,033 THE U.S. COMMITTED TO ASSIST 841 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:42,166 TAIWAN IN MAINTAINING ITS 842 00:23:42,233 --> 00:23:44,200 SELF-DEFENSE CAPABILITY. 843 00:23:44,266 --> 00:23:46,633 BUT THAT COMMITMENT VERY MUCH 844 00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:47,966 STOPS SHORT OF THE U.S. 845 00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:49,033 PROMISING TO DEFEND TAIWAN FROM 846 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,366 A CHINESE INVASION. 847 00:23:50,433 --> 00:23:55,100 INSTEAD, IT SAYS MILITARY 848 00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:59,200 AND THE EFFORT TO DETERMINE THE 849 00:23:59,266 --> 00:24:00,666 FUTURE OF TAIWAN WOULD BE OF 850 00:24:00,733 --> 00:24:01,933 GRAVE CONCERN TO THE 851 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,266 UNITED STATES. 852 00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:05,833 AND WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 853 00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:06,900 DOES IT MEAN THE U.S. WOULD 854 00:24:06,966 --> 00:24:08,800 DEPLOY MILITARY ASSETS? 855 00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:09,600 OR JUST THAT A U.S. GENERAL 856 00:24:09,666 --> 00:24:10,200 WOULD RAISE AN EYEBROW? 857 00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:11,000 NO ONE KNOWS. 858 00:24:11,066 --> 00:24:15,700 IT'S A WILLFULLY CONFUSING 859 00:24:15,766 --> 00:24:16,300 WILL-THEY OR WON'T-THEY DANCE, 860 00:24:16,366 --> 00:24:17,066 THAT FOR 40 YEARS HAS BEEN THE 861 00:24:17,133 --> 00:24:17,700 BACKBONE OF U.S.-TAIWAN POLICY. 862 00:24:17,766 --> 00:24:19,200 AND LOOK, SO FAR, WE'VE BEEN 863 00:24:19,266 --> 00:24:20,100 TALKING ABOUT TAIWAN ALMOST 864 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:20,966 EXCLUSIVELY IN TERMS OF WHAT 865 00:24:21,033 --> 00:24:22,566 OTHER COUNTRIES WANT FROM IT. 866 00:24:22,633 --> 00:24:24,100 BUT THE KEY QUESTION IS CLEARLY, 867 00:24:24,166 --> 00:24:26,333 WHAT DOES IT WANT FOR ITSELF? 868 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,633 BUT EVEN THAT'S NOT EASY TO 869 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:30,633 ANSWER. 870 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,100 TAIWAN IS MADE UP OF A MIX OF 871 00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:32,700 DIFFERENT CULTURES, LANGUAGES 872 00:24:32,766 --> 00:24:33,333 AND POLITICAL VIEWPOINTS. 873 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,733 REMEMBER, THEIR LAWMAKERS 874 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:35,600 SOMETIMES THROW PIG INTESTINES 875 00:24:35,666 --> 00:24:37,533 AT EACH OTHER IN PARLIAMENT. 876 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,566 EVERYONE IS NOT ON THE SAME PAGE 877 00:24:38,633 --> 00:24:41,566 THERE. 878 00:24:41,633 --> 00:24:43,400 BUT TO THE EXTENT TAIWANESE 879 00:24:43,466 --> 00:24:44,000 PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN THROUGH THE 880 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:45,533 BALLOT BOX, THEY'VE CHOSEN A 881 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,300 GOVERNMENT THAT WANTS TO KEEP 882 00:24:46,366 --> 00:24:47,300 CHINA AT ARM'S LENGTH. 883 00:24:47,366 --> 00:24:48,100 THAT SINGER YOU SAW EARLIER 884 00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:49,866 TALKING ABOUT "CHINESE FUCKING 885 00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:50,700 TAIPEI?" 886 00:24:50,766 --> 00:24:52,700 HE'S ACTUALLY IN TAIWAN'S 887 00:24:52,766 --> 00:24:54,233 PARLIAMENT NOW, AND HE'S OPENLY 888 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:56,433 PRO-INDEPENDENCE. 889 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,600 AS FOR TAIWAN'S CURRENT LEADER, 890 00:24:57,666 --> 00:24:59,766 TSAI ING-WEN, SHE WAS ELECTED ON 891 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,866 A PLATFORM OF DEFENDING TAIWAN, 892 00:25:02,933 --> 00:25:04,866 BUT, CRUCIALLY, PRESERVING THE 893 00:25:04,933 --> 00:25:05,933 STATUS QUO. 894 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,533 JUST WATCH HOW CAUTIOUSLY SHE 895 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,633 DISCUSSES THE QUESTION OF 896 00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:11,300 TAIWANESE INDEPENDENCE. 897 00:25:11,366 --> 00:25:13,333 >> ARE YOU IN PRINCIPLE AT LEAST 898 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,000 IN FAVOR OF THE IDEA OF FORMAL 899 00:25:16,066 --> 00:25:18,766 TAIWANESE INDEPENDENCE? 900 00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,233 >> THE REALITY, AND WHAT IT IS 901 00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:21,866 NOW, IS THAT WE ARE ALREADY A 902 00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:24,266 FUNCTIONALLY INDEPENDENT 903 00:25:24,333 --> 00:25:26,566 COUNTRY. 904 00:25:26,633 --> 00:25:27,866 WE HAVE OUR OWN GOVERNMENT, AND 905 00:25:27,933 --> 00:25:29,966 WE HAVE OUR OWN ELECTION. 906 00:25:30,033 --> 00:25:31,433 >> WILL THERE COME A DAY WHEN 907 00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:32,766 THAT REALITY NEEDS TO BE SPELLED 908 00:25:32,833 --> 00:25:33,600 OUT BY A FORMAL DECLARATION OF 909 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,666 INDEPENDENCE? 910 00:25:35,733 --> 00:25:37,000 >> THE IDEA IS THAT WE DON'T 911 00:25:37,066 --> 00:25:38,733 HAVE A NEED TO DECLARE OURSELVES 912 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,666 AN INDEPENDENT STATE, BUT WE ARE 913 00:25:39,733 --> 00:25:41,433 AN INDEPENDENT COUNTRY. 914 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:43,233 >> John: RIGHT. 915 00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:44,733 SHE'S CLEARLY DECLARING THAT 916 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:45,733 THEY'RE INDEPENDENT THERE, BUT 917 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,333 IS ALSO VERY MUCH DRAWING THE 918 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,400 LINE AT A DECLARATION OF 919 00:25:48,466 --> 00:25:49,966 INDEPENDENCE. 920 00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:50,866 BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT TAIWAN 921 00:25:50,933 --> 00:25:51,866 EXPLICITLY FORMALIZING THE WAY 922 00:25:51,933 --> 00:25:53,366 THINGS ARE COULD CAUSE A LOT OF 923 00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:55,266 TROUBLE. 924 00:25:55,333 --> 00:25:56,666 IT'S LIKE MEETING YOUR PARTNER'S 925 00:25:56,733 --> 00:25:57,800 PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND 926 00:25:57,866 --> 00:25:59,200 SAYING, "HELLO, I REGULARLY FUCK 927 00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,566 YOUR OFFSPRING." 928 00:26:00,633 --> 00:26:01,566 YEAH. 929 00:26:01,633 --> 00:26:03,500 EVERYONE WAS AWARE OF THAT. 930 00:26:03,566 --> 00:26:04,600 BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE OFFICIALLY 931 00:26:04,666 --> 00:26:06,166 DECLARED IT, THINGS ARE GOING TO 932 00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:08,000 GET MORE DIFFICULT FOR EVERYONE 933 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,666 INVOLVED. 934 00:26:10,733 --> 00:26:12,466 AND THE TRUTH IS, THAT INTENSE 935 00:26:12,533 --> 00:26:13,833 PRAGMATISM IS IN LINE WITH HOW 936 00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:15,833 MANY TAIWANESE PEOPLE FEEL. 937 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:17,233 POLLS HAVE CONSISTENTLY SHOWN 938 00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:19,100 THAT WHEN THEY'RE ASKED ABOUT 939 00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:20,600 INDEPENDENCE FROM OR UNIFICATION 940 00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:23,333 WITH CHINA, SOMETHING LIKE 1.5 941 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,400 PERCENT WANT UNIFICATION WITH 942 00:26:24,466 --> 00:26:25,666 CHINA AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND 943 00:26:25,733 --> 00:26:27,333 ABOUT SIX PERCENT WANT 944 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:28,266 INDEPENDENCE AS SOON AS 945 00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:32,333 POSSIBLE, BUT THE VAST MAJORITY 946 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,133 FAVOR SOME VERSION OF STICKING 947 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,000 WITH THE STATUS QUO, AT LEAST 948 00:26:34,066 --> 00:26:34,833 FOR NOW. 949 00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:36,500 WHICH MAKES SENSE. 950 00:26:36,566 --> 00:26:38,100 BECAUSE AS THINGS STAND, AS 951 00:26:38,166 --> 00:26:40,333 VOLATILE AS THIS SITUATION CAN 952 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,600 APPEAR, DAY-TO-DAY LIFE IN 953 00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:43,933 TAIWAN CAN GO ON AS NORMAL. 954 00:26:44,000 --> 00:27:10,000 AS THIS TAIWANESE MAN SHOWS. 955 00:27:10,066 --> 00:27:11,600 >> John: WOW. 956 00:27:11,666 --> 00:27:12,833 THAT IS A PRETTY RELAXED 957 00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:13,600 ATTITUDE GIVEN THE 958 00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:15,466 CIRCUMSTANCES. 959 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:16,866 HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE 960 00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:18,066 NUCLEAR-ARMED, SABER-RATTLING 961 00:27:18,133 --> 00:27:18,700 SUPERPOWER TAUNTING HIS COUNTRY 962 00:27:18,766 --> 00:27:20,766 WITH WARPLANES LIKE IT'S SEASON 963 00:27:20,833 --> 00:27:23,366 TWO OF "EMILY IN PARIS." 964 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,900 "YOU KNOW, I DON'T LOVE THAT 965 00:27:24,966 --> 00:27:26,066 IT'S HAPPENING, BUT I JUST TRY 966 00:27:26,133 --> 00:27:32,800 TO CARRY ON WITH MY LIFE." 967 00:27:32,866 --> 00:27:33,500 BUT THE KEY QUESTION IS, CAN THE 968 00:27:33,566 --> 00:27:34,133 CURRENTLY-SAFE STATUS QUO HOLD 969 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:34,866 FOREVER? 970 00:27:34,933 --> 00:27:36,600 XI JINPING HAS STATED THAT THE 971 00:27:36,666 --> 00:27:38,533 QUESTION OF TAIWAN CANNOT SIMPLY 972 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:39,300 BE "PASSED ON FROM GENERATION TO 973 00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:40,900 GENERATION." 974 00:27:40,966 --> 00:27:42,133 AND THOSE MILITARY DRILLS SEEM 975 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,000 TO BE SENDING A MESSAGE. 976 00:27:44,066 --> 00:27:45,766 AND WHILE EXPERTS SAY WAR ISN'T 977 00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:48,000 IMMINENT, TAIWAN IS 978 00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:48,700 UNDERSTANDABLY THINKING ABOUT 979 00:27:48,766 --> 00:27:50,200 ITS OWN DEFENSE CAPABILITIES. 980 00:27:50,266 --> 00:27:52,466 SOMETHING, BY THE WAY, WE'VE 981 00:27:52,533 --> 00:27:53,900 BEEN HAPPY TO ASSIST THEM IN 982 00:27:53,966 --> 00:27:56,266 THINKING ABOUT, BY SELLING THEM 983 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:57,200 BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN WEAPONS, 984 00:27:57,266 --> 00:27:59,866 SHOWING EVEN "STRATEGIC 985 00:27:59,933 --> 00:28:01,066 AMBIGUITY" HAS ITS PRICE. 986 00:28:01,133 --> 00:28:03,733 BUT DESPITE U.S. ASSISTANCE, THE 987 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:04,800 TAIWAN MILITARY IS OBVIOUSLY A 988 00:28:04,866 --> 00:28:06,033 FRACTION OF CHINA'S. 989 00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:07,066 AND ITS RECENT ATTEMPTS TO 990 00:28:07,133 --> 00:28:07,866 ATTRACT RECRUITS HAVE LEFT 991 00:28:07,933 --> 00:28:11,366 SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED. 992 00:28:11,433 --> 00:28:12,800 >> THE ARMED FORCES HAVE BEEN 993 00:28:12,866 --> 00:28:14,466 PRODUCING VIDEOS LIKE THIS TO 994 00:28:14,533 --> 00:28:16,266 TRY TO DRUM UP ENTHUSIASM AMONG 995 00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:17,966 POTENTIAL YOUNG SOLDIERS. 996 00:28:18,033 --> 00:28:19,033 BUT THEY'VE BEEN STRUGGLING TO 997 00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:20,766 MAKE UP FOR A SHORTFALL LEFT BY 998 00:28:20,833 --> 00:28:23,433 A PHASING OUT OF CONSCRIPTION. 999 00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:24,800 >> John: OKAY, I'M NOT SURE 1000 00:28:24,866 --> 00:28:26,633 THAT'S HELPING. 1001 00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:27,766 THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A GROUP 1002 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:28,600 OF PEOPLE WHO ARE EXCITED TO BE 1003 00:28:28,666 --> 00:28:30,100 IN THE MILITARY. 1004 00:28:30,166 --> 00:28:30,766 IT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF 1005 00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,100 BACKGROUND DANCERS WHO WERE CUT 1006 00:28:32,166 --> 00:28:33,600 FROM "IN THE HEIGHTS" BECAUSE 1007 00:28:33,666 --> 00:28:34,666 THEY WERE TOO BORING TO BE ON 1008 00:28:34,733 --> 00:28:38,633 CAMERA. 1009 00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:39,300 SO WHAT EXACTLY CAN OR SHOULD BE 1010 00:28:39,366 --> 00:28:40,333 DONE HERE? 1011 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,133 WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING THE 1012 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,100 ENTIRE WORLD HAS BEEN DISSECTING 1013 00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:44,333 FOR HALF A CENTURY NOW, AND SO 1014 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,633 FAR THE ANSWER WE SEEM TO HAVE 1015 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:46,266 SETTLED ON IS SOME VERSION OF, 1016 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:47,933 "UH... 1017 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,066 NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE," WHICH IS 1018 00:28:50,133 --> 00:28:52,666 CLEARLY NOT VERY SATISFYING. 1019 00:28:52,733 --> 00:28:53,766 AND I KNOW AMBIGUITY IS 1020 00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:55,933 INHERENTLY FRUSTRATING, 1021 00:28:56,033 --> 00:28:57,166 ESPECIALLY FOR AMERICANS, WHO 1022 00:28:57,233 --> 00:28:58,266 MIGHT LOOK AT A PLACE LIKE 1023 00:28:58,333 --> 00:28:59,866 TAIWAN, WHICH LOOKS AND ACTS 1024 00:28:59,933 --> 00:29:01,600 LIKE A COUNTRY, AND FEEL IT'S 1025 00:29:01,666 --> 00:29:03,333 WEIRD AND FARCICAL TO NOT 1026 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,800 ACKNOWLEDGE IT AS ONE. 1027 00:29:04,866 --> 00:29:05,833 BUT FROM A PRACTICAL STANDPOINT, 1028 00:29:05,900 --> 00:29:07,633 WOULD THAT BE BETTER? 1029 00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:09,300 AND IS THAT EVEN WHAT THE PEOPLE 1030 00:29:09,366 --> 00:29:11,466 OF TAIWAN WANT? 1031 00:29:11,533 --> 00:29:12,733 COULD IT BE THAT MAINTAINING THE 1032 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:13,966 CURRENT, DEEPLY WEIRD, AMBIGUOUS 1033 00:29:14,033 --> 00:29:16,366 STATUS QUO IS ACTUALLY THE BEST 1034 00:29:16,433 --> 00:29:17,833 OPTION? 1035 00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:19,066 I DON'T KNOW. 1036 00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:22,733 I'M NOT TAIWANESE, AND FRANKLY, 1037 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,000 PEOPLE WHO AREN'T TAIWANESE 1038 00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:26,766 MAKING DECISIONS FOR TAIWAN IS A 1039 00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:27,633 BIT FUCKING PLAYED OUT, 1040 00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:28,433 HISTORICALLY. 1041 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,266 SO MAYBE THE BEST THING WE CAN 1042 00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:31,166 DO IS MOVE PAST TALKING ABOUT 1043 00:29:31,233 --> 00:29:31,800 TAIWAN LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF 1044 00:29:31,866 --> 00:29:33,733 POKER CHIP IN A NEVER-ENDING 1045 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,133 GAME OF US VS. THEM. 1046 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,300 BECAUSE THE FACT IS, TAIWAN IS 1047 00:29:37,366 --> 00:29:38,500 NOT A PLUCKY BULWARK AGAINST THE 1048 00:29:38,566 --> 00:29:40,900 RED MENACE, NOR IS IT SOME SORT 1049 00:29:40,966 --> 00:29:42,200 OF ISLAND-SIZED VIAGRA TO 1050 00:29:42,266 --> 00:29:46,500 REJUVENATE THE CHINESE NATION. 1051 00:29:46,566 --> 00:29:47,900 TAIWAN IS 23 MILLION PEOPLE, 1052 00:29:47,966 --> 00:29:49,766 WHO, IN THE FACE OF CONSIDERABLE 1053 00:29:49,833 --> 00:29:51,433 ODDS, HAVE BUILT A FREE, 1054 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:53,033 DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY, AND VERY 1055 00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:54,100 MUCH DESERVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE 1056 00:29:54,166 --> 00:29:55,700 THEIR OWN FUTURE, IN ANY WAY 1057 00:29:55,766 --> 00:29:58,800 THEY DEEM FIT, EVEN IF THAT 1058 00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:02,500 MEANS SPORADICALLY BEATING THE 1059 00:30:02,566 --> 00:30:03,200 ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER. 1060 00:30:03,266 --> 00:30:08,766 AND NOW THIS. 1061 00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:11,966 >> AND NOW, JAMES CORDEN 1062 00:30:12,033 --> 00:30:12,500 JAMES CORDEN LOVES CINEMA. 1063 00:30:12,566 --> 00:30:13,900 >> WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU 1064 00:30:13,966 --> 00:30:17,166 ON YOUR BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE, 1065 00:30:17,233 --> 00:30:18,233 "HAPPIEST SEASON." 1066 00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:18,566 IT'S SO GOOD. 1067 00:30:18,633 --> 00:30:22,200 FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, TELL 1068 00:30:22,266 --> 00:30:23,700 THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND WHO YOU 1069 00:30:23,766 --> 00:30:24,166 PLAY. 1070 00:30:24,233 --> 00:30:25,133 FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW, 1071 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,800 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1072 00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:27,166 WHO YOU PLAY. 1073 00:30:27,233 --> 00:30:29,300 FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW, 1074 00:30:29,366 --> 00:30:30,600 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1075 00:30:30,666 --> 00:30:31,400 WHO YOU PLAY. 1076 00:30:31,466 --> 00:30:33,166 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1077 00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:34,100 WHO YOU PLAY. 1078 00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,633 WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON 1079 00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:37,066 YOUR BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE. 1080 00:30:37,133 --> 00:30:38,300 BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE. 1081 00:30:38,366 --> 00:30:39,366 FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW, 1082 00:30:39,433 --> 00:30:40,766 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1083 00:30:40,833 --> 00:30:41,433 WHO YOU PLAY. 1084 00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:43,200 AND WHO YOU PLAY. 1085 00:30:43,266 --> 00:30:45,133 CAN YOU TELL US WHAT IS FOUL AND 1086 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,166 WHO YOU PLAY? 1087 00:30:46,233 --> 00:30:47,500 WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON 1088 00:30:47,566 --> 00:30:49,866 YOUR BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE, 1089 00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:53,300 "FANTASY ISLAND." 1090 00:30:53,366 --> 00:30:54,300 I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS FILM 1091 00:30:54,366 --> 00:30:55,600 FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW, 1092 00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:59,133 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1093 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,100 WHO YOU PLAY. 1094 00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:01,533 WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON 1095 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,300 YOUR BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE. 1096 00:31:03,366 --> 00:31:04,100 BRILLIANT NEW MOVIE. 1097 00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:05,066 BRILLIANT MOVIE. 1098 00:31:05,133 --> 00:31:06,366 WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU, 1099 00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:10,366 NUMBER ONE MOVIE IN THE WORLD. 1100 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:11,533 TELL THEM WHAT IT'S ABOUT AND 1101 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,900 WHO YOU PLAY. 1102 00:31:13,966 --> 00:31:18,366 >> SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. 1103 00:31:18,433 --> 00:31:20,433 >> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1104 00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:23,000 THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.