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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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JUST TIME FOR A QUICK RECAP OF

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THE WEEK, WHICH SAW WORLD

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LEADERS GATHER FOR THE U.N.

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GENERAL ASSEMBLY, MAJOR

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ELECTIONS IN GERMANY AND CANADA,

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AND "THE VIEW" THROWN INTO CHAOS

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AFTER TWO OF ITS HOSTS TESTED

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POSITIVE FOR COVID MID-SHOW,

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LEADING TO THIS INCREDIBLE

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MOMENT.

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>> I NEED THE TWO OF YOU TO STEP

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OFF FOR A SECOND.

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>> OKAY.

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>> ANA AND SUNNY HAVE TO LEAVE.

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>> AND WE'RE GOING TO BRING YOU

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BACK LATER.

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>> AND WE'LL TELL YOU WHY --

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>> MORE INFORMATION LATER --

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IT'S A TEASE.

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>> WE'LL TELL YOU WHY IN A

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COUPLE MINUTES.

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SO SHOULD I INTRODUCE THE

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VICE PRESIDENT?

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>> YES.

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>> OKAY, SO, VICE PRESIDENT.

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>> NO!

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>> NO?

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>> NO.

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>> OKAY.

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>> John: WOW.

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THAT DOES NOT LOOK GREAT.

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FILMING A TELEVISION SHOW IS

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BASICALLY LIKE RAISING A

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TODDLER: IT'S UNPREDICTABLE,

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OCCASIONALLY FRUSTRATING, AND IF

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YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF HAVING TO

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SCREAM "NO," SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO

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WALK INTO A DEADLY SITUATION.

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BUT THE WEEK'S BEEN DOMINATED BY

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THE EVENTS IN DEL RIO, TEXAS,

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WHERE THOUSANDS OF MIGRANTS --

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MOSTLY HAITIANS -- ATTEMPTING TO

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CROSS THE BORDER WERE MET WITH

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THIS RESPONSE.

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>> IMAGES SURFACE OF

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BORDER PATROL AGENTS ON

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HORSEBACK APPEARING TO USE THEIR

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HORSE'S REINS LIKE WHIPS TO

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--

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AS ONE GROUP TRIED TO PASS, AN

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AGENT SAID THIS.

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>> HEY, YOU USE YOUR WOMEN?

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THIS IS WHY YOUR COUNTRY IS

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SHIT!

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>> John: REALLY?

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YOU'RE GONNA CALL "THEIR"

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COUNTRY SHIT?

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BECAUSE THEY JUST GOT HERE, AND

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YOU'RE NOT MAKING A GREAT CASE

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FOR THIS ONE.

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SO FAR, 100% OF THEIR EXPERIENCE

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IN AMERICA HAS INVOLVED A

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BELLIGERENT MAN DRESSED AS A

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PARTY CITY PARK RANGER SCREAMING

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AT THEM ON HORSEBACK.

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AND WHEN ASKED TO RESPOND TO

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THOSE IMAGES, THE BIDEN

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ADMINISTRATION FELL BACK ON ONE

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OF THEIR GREATEST HITS.

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>> WHAT DID THE PRESIDENT SAY?

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HOW DID HE FEEL WHEN HE SAW

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THEM?

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>> HE ALSO FELT THEY WERE

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HORRIFIC AND HORRIBLE.

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I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO COULD

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WATCH THAT VIDEO AND NOT HAVE

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THAT EMOTION.

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I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR

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PEOPLE TO KNOW, THIS IS NOT WHO

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WE ARE.

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THAT'S NOT WHO THE BIDEN-HARRIS

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ADMINISTRATION IS.

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>> John: WELL, HOLD ON.

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'CAUSE SAYING "THIS IS NOT WHO

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WE ARE" ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE

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CHASING BLACK PEOPLE ON HORSES

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IS A BIT OF A STRETCH.

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HISTORICALLY, WE'VE BEEN

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YES-AND-ING THAT IDEA SINCE

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1619.

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IF YOU LISTED THE TOP THREE

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THINGS THAT MAKE AMERICA

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AMERICA, IT'D BE REGIONAL

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SANDWICH DIFFERENCES, FLYOVERS

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AT HALFTIME, AND WHITE PEOPLE

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CHASING BLACK PEOPLE WHILE ON

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HORSEBACK.

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I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S WHAT MADE

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AMERICA GREAT.

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JUST WHAT MADE AMERICA AMERICA.

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AS FOR "THIS IS NOT WHO

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THE BIDEN-HARRIS ADMINISTRATION

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IS" -- ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE

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ABOUT THAT?

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'CAUSE FROM AN IMMIGRATION

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STANDPOINT, THERE'S NOT A TON OF

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EVIDENCE THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING

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ELSE YET.

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THIS ADMINISTRATION'S RECORD ON

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IMMIGRATION, PARTICULARLY ON THE

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SOUTHERN BORDER, HAS BEEN DEEPLY

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UNDERWHELMING.

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AND THIS WEEK, THEY'VE BEEN ALL

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OVER THE MAP.

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'CAUSE WHILE MANY HAITIANS WERE

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RELEASED INTO THE U.S., WE ALSO

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SENT THOUSANDS BACK TO A NATION

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THAT'S RECENTLY SUFFERED AN

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EARTHQUAKE AND A PRESIDENTIAL

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ASSASSINATION WITH NO CLEAR

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RATIONALE FOR HOW THOSE

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DECISIONS WERE MADE.

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AND IT'S NOT GREAT WHEN OUR

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PROCESS FOR DECIDING WHO GETS

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RELEASED AND WHO GETS EXPELLED

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IS AS HAPHAZARD AS THE PROCESS

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FOR FINDING THE NEW HOST OF

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"JEOPARDY!"

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AND BY THE WAY, GREAT JOB SO

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FAR, GUYS.

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YOU DODGED GIVING THAT DUDE THE

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JOB PERMANENTLY, AND RIGHT NOW

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WE'VE GOT SOMEONE ABSOLUTELY

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FREE OF CONTROVERSY,

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MAYIM BIALIK, A PERSON I THINK

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IS GREAT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE

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GOOGLE.

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AND THE REASON WE'VE BEEN ABLE

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TO EXPEL OVER 2,000 HAITIANS SO

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QUICKLY IS THE BIDEN

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ADMINISTRATION IS USING ONE OF

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TRUMP'S MOST INFAMOUS

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IMMIGRATION POLICIES, TITLE 42,

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A BULLSHIT MOVE THAT LETS YOU

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TURN AWAY ASYLUM SEEKERS UNDER

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THE GUISE OF PUBLIC HEALTH.

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IT IS SUCH BULLSHIT, A FEDERAL

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JUDGE IN WASHINGTON SAID ITS USE

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IN THIS MANNER IS LIKELY

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ILLEGAL.

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SO IT IS NO WONDER THE SPECIAL

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ENVOY FOR HAITI, DANIEL FOOTE,

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RESIGNED THIS WEEK, REFUSING TO

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BE ASSOCIATED WITH WHAT THE

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BIDEN ADMINISTRATION WAS DOING.

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AND IT IS HARD TO BLAME HIM WHEN

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YOU CONSIDER WHAT SOME OF THESE

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PEOPLE HAVE GONE THROUGH --

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NOT JUST IN ORDER TO GET HERE,

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BUT IN THE PROCESS OF BEING

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EXPELLED.

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JUST LISTEN TO THIS MAN, WHO WAS

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PUT ON A PLANE BACK TO HAITI,

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DESCRIBING HOW HE WAS TREATED.

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>> THEY CHAINED US LIKE ANIMALS.

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THEY CHAINED OUR HANDS, FEET,

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AND WAIST.

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ONCE WE ARRIVED, THEY MADE US

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STAY INSIDE THE PLANE UNTIL THEY

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UNCHAINED US SO THE JOURNALISTS

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WOULDN'T SEE WHAT THEY DID.

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>> John: THAT IS DESPICABLE.

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AND JUST AS AN ASIDE, I WOULD

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LOVE TO KNOW WHO MADE THE PR

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JUDGMENT THAT SHOWING HAITIANS

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IN CHAINS WAS UNACCEPTABLE BUT

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CHARGING THEM ON HORSEBACK WAS

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A-OK.

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'CAUSE THAT PERSON CLEARLY

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KNOWSTHEY'RE GOING TO HELL, BUT

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I'M NOT SURE THEY GRASP JUST HOW

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DEEP.

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IT FEELS THAT THE BIDEN

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ADMINISTRATION IS FAR MORE

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FOCUSED ON "SEEMING" BETTER WHEN

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IT COMES TO IMMIGRATION THAN

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ACTUALLY "BEING" BETTER.

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SOMETHING DRIVEN FURTHER HOME

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WHEN, JUST DAYS AFTER HER "THIS

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IS NOT WHO WE ARE" COMMENT,

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JEN PSAKI ONCE AGAIN SAID THE

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IMAGES FROM DEL RIO WERE DEEPLY

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TROUBLING TO THE PRESIDENT AND

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UNVEILED THIS BIG POLICY MOVE.

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>> THE SECRETARY ALSO CONVEYED

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TO CIVIL RIGHTS LEADERS EARLIER

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THIS MORNING THAT WE WOULD NO

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LONGER BE USING HORSES IN

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DEL RIO.

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SO THAT IS SOMETHING, A POLICY

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CHANGE THAT HAS BEEN MADE IN

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RESPONSE.

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>> John: HOLD ON.

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ARE YOU IMPLYING IT WAS ALL THE

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HORSIES' FAULT?

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BECAUSE, IF I MAY QUOTE MYSELF

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AFTER WATCHING BURBERRY'S RECENT

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AD: IF YOU'RE ONLY FOCUSING ON

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THE HORSES, YOU'RE MISSING A

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LOT.

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I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT

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IT.

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I PROMISED HIM THAT THIS JOKE

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WAS FINISHED.

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BUT I CAN THINK ABOUT IT AND ASK

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YOU TO LOOK RIGHT IN MY EYES

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WHILE I DO THAT.

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LOOK, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION

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PROMISED A BIG SHIFT WHEN IT

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COMES TO HOW WE TREAT MIGRANTS

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AT THE BORDER, BUT EIGHT MONTHS

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IN, WHERE IS IT?

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ALL OF THIS IS EMBLEMATIC OF A

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LARGER CONFUSION, WITH ONE

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WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL EVEN

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SAYING, "I DON'T

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KNOW WHAT OUR IMMIGRATION

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STRATEGY IS AT ALL."

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BUT WE BADLY NEED ONE, AND SOON.

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BECAUSE WE'RE CURRENTLY SENDING

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VULNERABLE PEOPLE BACK INTO

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HARM'S WAY.

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AND IT'S PAST TIME FOR THIS

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ADMINISTRATION TO STOP SIMPLY

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TELLING PEOPLE WHO WE ARE, AND

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START FUCKING SHOWING THEM.

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AND NOW THIS.

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>> Announcer: AND NOW, LOCAL

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NEWS ANCHORS ANNOUNCE THE

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CHANGING OF THE SEASONS THE ONLY

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WAY THEY KNOW HOW.

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>> WELL, TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY

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OF FALL.

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>> I'M SORRY, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU

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ARE USUALLY SET AT.

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>> IT'S FALL.

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>> IT IS FALL, Y'ALL.

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>> HAPPY FALL.

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>> IT'S FALL, Y'ALL.

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>> IT'S FALL, IT Y'ALL.

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>> I JUST WANT TO SAY, HAPPY

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FALL, Y'ALL.

262
00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:05,600
>> [LAUGHS]

263
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:07,000
>> IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF FALL,

264
00:07:07,066 --> 00:07:07,866
Y'ALL.

265
00:07:07,933 --> 00:07:09,766
>> FIRST DAY OF FALL, Y'ALL.

266
00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:11,266
>> IT IS THE FIRST DAY OF FALL,

267
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:11,466
Y'ALL.

268
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:20,466
>> THE BRAND-NEW DAY, WE SHOULD

269
00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:22,733
SAY GOURD MORNING TO YOU.

270
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,800
>> WE HAVE A COUPLE OF OTHER

271
00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:26,566
HEADLINES FOR YOU.

272
00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:28,633
I'M REALLY PROUD OF THIS FIRST

273
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:29,466
ONE.

274
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,633
LET ME SHOW YOU.

275
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:30,933
HERE IT IS.

276
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,166
WHETHER HEADLINES.

277
00:07:35,233 --> 00:07:35,566
HAPPY FALL, Y'ALL.

278
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:40,000
ALTHOUGH SUMMER AND LEAFING.

279
00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:42,566
>> THAT'S GOOD.

280
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:48,800
>> I'M REALLY PROUD OF THAT ONE.

281
00:07:48,866 --> 00:07:50,066
>> John: MOVING ON.

282
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,033
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS

283
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:51,300
VOTING.

284
00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:52,033
IT'S THE SUBJECT OF COUNTLESS

285
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:52,900
ELECTION PSAs, WHICH ARE ALWAYS

286
00:07:52,966 --> 00:07:53,433
THE SAME -- CELEBRITIES

287
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,366
ESSENTIALLY BEGGING YOU TO

288
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,000
VOTE -- BUT IN 1988, THERE WAS A

289
00:07:55,066 --> 00:07:55,933
STRIKINGLY DIFFERENT ONE.

290
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,200
ALL I'M GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS

291
00:07:59,266 --> 00:08:00,500
IS, THERE IS A SURPRISE AT THE

292
00:08:00,566 --> 00:08:05,033
END AND ALSO AT THE BEGINNING.

293
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:15,566
♪ ♪

294
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,033
>> 200 YEARS AGO, THE

295
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,700
CONSTITUTION OF THE

296
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,666
UNITED STATES SUGGESTED A VERY

297
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,400
SIMPLE WAY TO KEEP FOOLS LIKE

298
00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:26,500
THESE OUT OF OUR GOVERNMENT.

299
00:08:26,566 --> 00:08:28,366
♪ ♪

300
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:35,233
A REMINDER FROM MEMBERS ONLY.

301
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,233
>> John: HOLY SHIT!

302
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,433
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MEMBERS

303
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:40,633
ONLY?

304
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:41,466
THAT'S A BOLD MOVE, PUTTING YOUR

305
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:42,200
NAME SO CLOSE TO HITLER.

306
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:42,833
ALTHOUGH, I WILL SAY, IT

307
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:43,800
ACTUALLY FITS PRETTY WELL,

308
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:44,900
CONSIDERING "MEMBERS ONLY" WOULD

309
00:08:44,966 --> 00:08:45,500
HAVE BEEN A PERFECT SLOGAN FOR

310
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,100
THE NAZIS.

311
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:48,400
BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT VOTING

312
00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:49,566
BECAUSE, AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY

313
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:50,800
KNOW, THE LATEST ATTACK ON

314
00:08:50,866 --> 00:08:51,566
VOTING RIGHTS IN AMERICA IS WELL

315
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:53,666
UNDERWAY.

316
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,633
>> A NEW REPORT FROM

317
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,133
THE BRENNAN CENTER SHOWS THAT

318
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,866
BETWEEN JANUARY AND JULY, THESE

319
00:08:59,933 --> 00:09:00,933
18 STATES PASSED 30 LAWS THAT

320
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,666
RESTRICT VOTER ACCESS.

321
00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,133
THEY INCLUDE CRACKDOWNS ON

322
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,300
MAIL-IN AND EARLY VOTING,

323
00:09:08,366 --> 00:09:09,300
HARSHER VOTER I.D. REQUIREMENTS,

324
00:09:09,366 --> 00:09:14,633
AND VOTER ROLL PURGES.

325
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,100
>> John: YEAH, IT'S TRUE, ALL

326
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:17,200
THOSE STATES ARE TRYING TO MAKE

327
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,733
IT HARDER FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE,

328
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,066
AND IF ANYONE IS SURPRISED TO

329
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:22,166
SEE NEW HAMPSHIRE UP THERE, LET

330
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,066
ME REMIND YOU:

331
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,066
IT'S A STATE THAT'S

332
00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:24,633
88% WHITE WITH A REPUBLICAN

333
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,266
GOVERNOR AND NO ADULT SEATBELT

334
00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:25,600
LAW.

335
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,633
SURE, THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES AS

336
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,266
CHARMING, BUT THEY'RE BASICALLY

337
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,433
FLORIDA WITH FOLIAGE.

338
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,933
THAT IS IT.

339
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,966
AND SOME OF THE BIGGEST

340
00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:33,566
ATTACKS ON VOTING RIGHTS HAVE

341
00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:34,200
BEEN CONCENTRATED IN THE

342
00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:36,900
CLOSEST STATES IN LAST YEAR'S

343
00:09:36,966 --> 00:09:38,066
ELECTION, ESPECIALLY THESE

344
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:39,066
THREE, WHERE BIDEN'S COMBINED

345
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,366
MARGIN OF VICTORY WAS LESS THAN

346
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,200
43,000 VOTES.

347
00:09:42,266 --> 00:09:44,033
IF THEY'D GONE THE OTHER WAY,

348
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,166
TRUMP WOULD STILL BE PRESIDENT

349
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:48,000
RIGHT NOW, MEANING COVID WOULD

350
00:09:48,066 --> 00:09:52,100
BE EVEN WORSE, WE'D BE AT WAR

351
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:53,700
WITH -- I DON'T KNOW, LET'S SAY

352
00:09:53,766 --> 00:09:56,666
LUXEMBOURG -- AND WE'D ALL BE

353
00:09:56,733 --> 00:09:57,600
LIVING UNDER

354
00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:58,900
ATTORNEY GENERAL MY PILLOW GUY.

355
00:09:58,966 --> 00:09:59,800
I KNOW THINGS ARE BLEAK RIGHT

356
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:00,600
NOW, BUT DEPRESSINGLY, IT'S

357
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:01,100
IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER:

358
00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:02,166
THIS IS TECHNICALLY

359
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,866
THE BETTER TIMELINE.

360
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:06,033
AND I KNOW THAT THOSE PUSHING

361
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:06,633
THESE BILLS CLAIM CRITICS ARE

362
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:07,800
COMPLETELY DISTORTING WHAT'S

363
00:10:07,866 --> 00:10:09,066
INSIDE THEM, AND ANY OBJECTIONS

364
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:09,600
COULD BE CLEARED UP WITH A

365
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:11,500
SIMPLE STEP:

366
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:13,366
>> I WOULD ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO

367
00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,133
ACTUALLY READ THE BILL, FIND OUT

368
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,200
WHAT THE FACTS ARE.

369
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:16,966
>> IT'S TIME TO TAKE

370
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,000
A CHILL PILL, FOLKS.

371
00:10:19,066 --> 00:10:21,200
IT'S TIME TO READ THE BILL.

372
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:22,933
>> READ THE BILL.

373
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,466
THERE IS NO VOTER SUPPRESSION.

374
00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:29,100
READ THE BILL AND SHOW ME ONE

375
00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:30,200
PERSON WHO'S ELIGIBLE TO VOTE

376
00:10:30,266 --> 00:10:30,866
THAT WILL NOT BE ABLE TO VOTE.

377
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:31,900
YOU CAN'T FIND IT.

378
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,166
IT'S A LIE.

379
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,700
IT'S JUST NOT THERE.

380
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:37,433
>> John: ALL RIGHT, WELL, IF

381
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,600
THAT IS YOUR CRITERIA, YOU

382
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:41,500
OBVIOUSLY WIN.

383
00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:42,900
OF COURSE NO ONE IS GOING TO

384
00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:44,866
FIND A BILL THAT LITERALLY SAYS

385
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:45,666
"THIS SPECIFIC PERSON SHOULDN'T

386
00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:48,000
BE ALLOWED TO VOTE."

387
00:10:48,066 --> 00:10:48,600
EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOW THERE

388
00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:49,166
IS SOMEONE WHO SHOULDN'T BE

389
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:49,800
ALLOWED TO VOTE, AND IT'S THIS

390
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:50,166
GUY.

391
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,333
HIS NAME IS BRANDON CARUSO.

392
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,533
HIS FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING IS

393
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,200
"NO SAUCE," HIS FAVORITE SEASON

394
00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:54,633
OF "THE WIRE" IS "I HAVEN'T

395
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,000
WATCHED IT YET," AND HIS LIST OF

396
00:10:56,066 --> 00:10:57,000
CELEBRITIES HE'D HAVE SEX WITH

397
00:10:57,066 --> 00:10:58,133
OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS,

398
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,000
EXCLUSIVELY, FIVE TIMES,

399
00:10:59,066 --> 00:10:59,733
THE WHEEL FROM

400
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:00,833
"WHEEL OF FORTUNE."

401
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,300
NOT VANNA.

402
00:11:02,366 --> 00:11:02,533
NOT PAT.

403
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,300
THE WHEEL.

404
00:11:03,366 --> 00:11:04,933
FIVE TIMES.

405
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,233
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.

406
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,700
BRANDON.

407
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:10,533
BUT THE THING IS, IF YOU DO

408
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,900
ACTUALLY READ THESE BILLS, YOU

409
00:11:12,966 --> 00:11:15,133
QUICKLY FIND THEY ABSOLUTELY

410
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,766
MAKE IT HARDER TO VOTE -- AND

411
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:17,800
PARTICULARLY FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE.

412
00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:20,766
SO TONIGHT, WE THOUGHT WE'D TAKE

413
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,066
A LOOK AT THE ATTACK ON VOTING

414
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:25,500
RIGHTS AND HOW BEST TO FIGHT IT.

415
00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:27,000
AND LET'S START WITH WHAT'S IN

416
00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:28,600
THESE BILLS, BECAUSE IT'S A LOT.

417
00:11:28,666 --> 00:11:29,533
FOR INSTANCE, IN TEXAS -- WHERE,

418
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,566
REMEMBER, THAT GUY CLAIMED YOU

419
00:11:30,633 --> 00:11:32,000
CAN'T FIND A SINGLE INSTANCE OF

420
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,433
VOTER SUPPRESSION -- ONE THING

421
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:34,700
THEIR BILL DOES IS ROLL BACK A

422
00:11:34,766 --> 00:11:36,533
LOT OF THE INNOVATIVE MEASURES

423
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:37,400
PUT IN PLACE DURING THE PANDEMIC

424
00:11:37,466 --> 00:11:38,866
THAT MADE VOTING MORE

425
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:39,933
ACCESSIBLE.

426
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,133
AMONG OTHER THINGS, IT GETS RID

427
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,733
OF 24-HOUR AND DRIVE-THROUGH

428
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,666
VOTING, BOTH METHODS HARRIS

429
00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:47,100
COUNTY IMPLEMENTED LAST YEAR.

430
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,266
AND AS THE COUNTY CLERK WHO

431
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,400
OVERSAW THAT ELECTION POINTS

432
00:11:49,466 --> 00:11:50,766
OUT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE

433
00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:52,533
PRECINCTS WHERE THOSE METHODS

434
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,133
WERE MOST POPULAR, IT'S CLEAR

435
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,066
THE HARM IS PRETTY TARGETED.

436
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,366
>> WHY ARE WE TAKING 24-HOUR

437
00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:58,400
VOTING AWAY?

438
00:11:58,466 --> 00:12:00,733
BECAUSE 56% OF VOTERS IN

439
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,633
NOVEMBER WHO USED 24-HOUR VOTING

440
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,633
WERE PEOPLE OF COLOR.

441
00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:05,800
AND THEY KNOW THAT.

442
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:06,766
WHY ARE WE TAKING DRIVE-THROUGH

443
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:07,933
VOTING AWAY?

444
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,233
BECAUSE 53% OF THOSE VOTERS IN

445
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,133
2020 WERE PEOPLE OF COLOR.

446
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,733
>> John: YEAH, IT'S PRETTY

447
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,866
OBVIOUS WHO YOU'RE TARGETING

448
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:17,633
THERE.

449
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:18,733
THEY MIGHT AS WELL SAY,

450
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,166
"YOU CAN'T ARRIVE AT A POLLING

451
00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:21,133
PLACE EXHIBITING A FACE IN THE

452
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,433
FENTY 300s OR HIGHER."

453
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,200
SURE, YOU'RE NOT "SAYING" PEOPLE

454
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,933
OF COLOR, BUT WE ALL KNOW WHAT

455
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,966
THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.

456
00:12:29,033 --> 00:12:30,900
AND IT'S NOT JUST DRIVE-THROUGH

457
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,466
VOTING -- TEXAS, AND ALL THESE

458
00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:34,833
OTHER STATES, HAVE ADDED NEW

459
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,066
BARRIERS TO VOTING BY MAIL,

460
00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:36,700
COINCIDENTALLY, JUST A YEAR

461
00:12:36,766 --> 00:12:38,366
AFTER ELECTIONS IN WHICH THE

462
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:40,300
PERCENTAGE OF BLACK PEOPLE WHO

463
00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:41,933
VOTED BY MAIL SURGED PAST

464
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,233
WHITE VOTERS.

465
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,000
MEANWHILE, ALL THESE STATES HAVE

466
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:46,500
PUT HARSHER VOTER I.D.

467
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:47,900
REQUIREMENTS IN PLACE, EVEN

468
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,533
THOUGH FEDERAL COURT CASES FOUND

469
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,233
BLACK AND LATINO VOTERS IN

470
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,566
STATES WITH HARSH LAWS

471
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:53,266
DISPROPORTIONATELY LACKED ACCESS

472
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:54,666
TO THE TYPE OF PHOTO IDS

473
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,766
REQUIRED TO VOTE.

474
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:59,400
SO ALREADY, WHEN YOU DO READ

475
00:12:59,466 --> 00:13:02,200
THESE BILLS, YOU FIND SOME SHIT

476
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,233
IN PLAIN VIEW.

477
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:04,966
IT'S LIKE A SECOND GRADER

478
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,400
PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK.

479
00:13:06,466 --> 00:13:07,766
YOU'RE BIGGER THAN THE COFFEE

480
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,733
TABLE, BUD.

481
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,266
I CAN SEE YOUR FEET, HANDS,

482
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,366
FULL FACE, AND YOU'RE GIGGLING

483
00:13:13,433 --> 00:13:14,400
VERY LOUDLY.

484
00:13:14,466 --> 00:13:16,566
YOU DIDN'T DO A GOOD JOB AT

485
00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:16,966
HIDING.

486
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,400
AND SOME OF THOSE PUSHING THESE

487
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:19,466
BILLS -- LIKE THIS STATE

488
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,100
REPRESENTATIVE FROM GEORGIA --

489
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:22,566
EVEN ARGUE THAT, IF A LAW DOES

490
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,633
MAKE IT HARDER TO VOTE, THAT'S

491
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,433
NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING.

492
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,633
>> I DO BELIEVE THAT VOTING IN

493
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,066
THIS COUNTRY IS A PRIVILEGE

494
00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:31,800
AND --

495
00:13:31,866 --> 00:13:32,700
>> IT'S A RIGHT.

496
00:13:32,766 --> 00:13:35,233
>> AND IT'S A RIGHT AS WELL.

497
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,200
BUT IT OUGHT TO MEAN ENOUGH

498
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:38,700
WHERE YOU CAN PUT FORTH A LITTLE

499
00:13:38,766 --> 00:13:41,100
BIT OF EFFORT IN TRYING TO CAST

500
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:41,400
YOUR BALLOT.

501
00:13:41,466 --> 00:13:42,633
>> John: OKAY, EXCEPT SOMETHING

502
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,200
CAN'T BE A RIGHT AND A PRIVILEGE

503
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:51,566
THAT YOU NEED TO WORK FOR.

504
00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:53,400
BECAUSE THOSE ARE TWO COMPLETELY

505
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,233
DIFFERENT THINGS -- FOR

506
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:54,600
INSTANCE, IT'S A

507
00:13:54,666 --> 00:13:55,766
RIGHT FOR BRANDON CARUSO TO

508
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:56,633
IMAGINE WHAT HOT, TAWDRY SEX

509
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:57,466
WITH THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE WOULD

510
00:13:57,533 --> 00:13:57,700
BE LIKE.

511
00:13:57,766 --> 00:13:58,633
TO IMAGINE CLIMBING ON TOP OF IT

512
00:13:58,700 --> 00:13:59,100
AND TAKING HER ALL IN.

513
00:13:59,166 --> 00:13:59,733
TO THINK ABOUT THE CROWD

514
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,700
WATCHING HIM -- YEAH, THAT'S

515
00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:01,433
RIGHT, THE STUDIO AUDIENCE IS

516
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,733
THERE, AND THEY'RE ROOTING FOR

517
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,333
HIM.

518
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,566
BECAUSE HE DID IT.

519
00:14:04,633 --> 00:14:06,733
BRANDON FINALLY DID IT.

520
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,333
HE'S FINALLY FUCKING THE WHEEL.

521
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,100
IMAGINING HOW GOOD THAT'D FEEL

522
00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:12,533
IS BRANDON'S RIGHT.

523
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:13,633
BUT ACTUALLY GETTING TO GRAB

524
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,633
THOSE PEGS AND GIVE THE WHEEL A

525
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,766
SPIN?

526
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:18,833
THAT IS A PRIVILEGE THAT SHOULD

527
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,266
TAKE YEARS OF EFFORT.

528
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,133
AND LOOK, NONE OF THIS IS

529
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,633
ANYTHING NEW.

530
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,133
REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN PUSHING

531
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:24,700
RESTRICTIVE VOTING LAWS FOR

532
00:14:24,766 --> 00:14:26,600
YEARS.

533
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,133
BACK IN 2013, NORTH CAROLINA

534
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,500
CRAFTED A LAW THAT MADE IT SO

535
00:14:29,566 --> 00:14:30,966
THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE FORMS OF

536
00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:32,400
VOTER I.D. WERE THE ONES

537
00:14:32,466 --> 00:14:34,200
DISPROPORTIONATELY USED BY WHITE

538
00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:35,400
PEOPLE, IN A BILL A FEDERAL

539
00:14:35,466 --> 00:14:36,900
APPEALS COURT LATER SAID

540
00:14:36,966 --> 00:14:37,966
TARGETED "AFRICAN-AMERICAN

541
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:39,233
VOTERS WITH ALMOST SURGICAL

542
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:42,500
PRECISION."

543
00:14:42,566 --> 00:14:43,733
WHICH HAS TO BE THE SECOND-WORST

544
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,066
CONTEXT IN WHICH TO HEAR THAT

545
00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:46,900
PHRASE, TOPPED ONLY BY

546
00:14:46,966 --> 00:14:53,300
"SURGERY."

547
00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:54,700
"LOOK, MA'AM, YOUR HUSBAND'S

548
00:14:54,766 --> 00:14:55,633
SURGERY WAS...

549
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,733
WE GOT IN THERE WITH 'ALMOST'

550
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:57,166
SURGICAL PRECISION.

551
00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:57,800
MY TEAM'S NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT

552
00:14:57,866 --> 00:14:59,566
YET, BUT WE WERE REALLY CLOSE ON

553
00:14:59,633 --> 00:14:59,833
THIS ONE."

554
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,666
AND FREQUENTLY, THESE LAWS HAVE

555
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,566
BEEN HELPED ALONG BY WELL-FUNDED

556
00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:02,933
GROUPS LIKE THE HERITAGE

557
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000
FOUNDATION, WHOSE CO-FOUNDER,

558
00:15:04,066 --> 00:15:05,500
PAUL WEYRICH, FAMOUSLY ADMITTED,

559
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:07,533
"I DON'T WANT EVERYBODY TO

560
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,900
VOTE," AND WHOSE FORMER

561
00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:09,866
PRESIDENT, JIM DeMINT, ONCE

562
00:15:09,933 --> 00:15:11,666
APPROVINGLY SAID, "IN THE STATES

563
00:15:11,733 --> 00:15:12,666
WHERE THEY DO HAVE VOTER I.D.

564
00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:13,366
LAWS, YOU'VE ACTUALLY SEEN

565
00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:14,666
ELECTIONS BEGIN TO CHANGE

566
00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:15,966
TOWARDS MORE CONSERVATIVE

567
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:16,566
CANDIDATES."

568
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:17,333
PRETTY MUCH GIVING THE GAME

569
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:22,833
AWAY.

570
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:26,233
AND HERITAGE IS VERY MUCH STILL

571
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:26,666
AT IT.

572
00:15:26,733 --> 00:15:27,766
JUST THIS YEAR, THE EXECUTIVE

573
00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:28,266
DIRECTOR OF THEIR SISTER

574
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:28,866
ORGANIZATION, HERITAGE ACTION,

575
00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:29,433
ACTUALLY BRAGGED ABOUT THEIR

576
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,700
ROLE IN PUSHING THIS YEAR'S NEW

577
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:34,133
BILLS.

578
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,766
>> WE ARE WORKING WITH STATE

579
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,333
LEGISLATORS TO MAKE SURE THEY

580
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,233
HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION THEY

581
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,533
NEED TO DRAFT THE BILLS.

582
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,833
IN SOME CASES WE DRAFT THEM FOR

583
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:42,833
THEM.

584
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,466
THEY HAVE BEEN HUGE VICTORIES

585
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:46,000
SENDING BILLS ON MARCH 8TH.

586
00:15:46,066 --> 00:15:48,433
LITTLE FANFARE, HONESTLY, NOBODY

587
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,400
EVEN NOTICED.

588
00:15:49,466 --> 00:15:50,566
MY TEAM LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND

589
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:53,000
WE WERE LIKE, IT CAN'T BE THAT

590
00:15:53,066 --> 00:15:53,700
EASY.

591
00:15:53,766 --> 00:15:57,566
IT CAN'T BE THAT EASY.

592
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:58,900
>> John: HOLD ON THERE,

593
00:15:58,966 --> 00:16:00,100
TJ MAXX IVANKA TRUMP.

594
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:00,733
BECAUSE ANYONE SAYING "IT CAN'T

595
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,900
BE THAT EASY" TO DO ANYTHING

596
00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:02,900
OTHER THAN SNEAKING THEIR OWN

597
00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:04,700
SNACKS INTO THE MOVIES

598
00:16:04,766 --> 00:16:06,800
ABSOLUTELY MUST BE STOPPED.

599
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,633
THE POINT HERE IS, THIS HAS BEEN

600
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,300
A CONCERTED, ORGANIZED EFFORT

601
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:10,600
OVER MANY YEARS.

602
00:16:10,666 --> 00:16:11,266
BUT THE REASON IT NOW HAS A MUCH

603
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,200
HIGHER CHANCE OF WORKING HAS TO

604
00:16:12,266 --> 00:16:12,833
DO WITH A PAIR OF SUPREME COURT

605
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:13,966
DECISIONS THAT GUTTED THE

606
00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:16,833
LANDMARK 1965 VOTING RIGHTS ACT,

607
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:17,333
WHICH PROHIBITED RACIAL

608
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,900
DISCRIMINATION IN VOTING.

609
00:16:18,966 --> 00:16:20,966
THE FIRST DECISION --

610
00:16:21,033 --> 00:16:23,533
SHELBY COUNTY VS. HOLDER --

611
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,700
BASICALLY RELEASED THESE AREAS,

612
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,033
WHICH HAD A PRIOR HISTORY OF

613
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,633
DISCRIMINATORY VOTING LAWS, FROM

614
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,000
HAVING TO RUN ANY NEW ONES PAST

615
00:16:29,066 --> 00:16:29,933
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT FIRST

616
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:30,666
BEFORE THEY TOOK EFFECT.

617
00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:33,700
AND THE SECOND --

618
00:16:33,766 --> 00:16:35,333
BRNOVICH VS. DNC -- ESSENTIALLY

619
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,533
FOUND THAT EVEN IF A VOTING

620
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,333
RESTRICTION HAS A DISCRIMINATORY

621
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,066
IMPACT, THAT IN ITSELF DOESN'T

622
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,633
NECESSARILY VIOLATE THE VOTING

623
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,033
RIGHTS ACT.

624
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,566
THOSE TWO DECISIONS BASICALLY

625
00:16:45,633 --> 00:16:46,800
MADE IT EASIER FOR SOME STATES

626
00:16:46,866 --> 00:16:48,833
TO PASS DISCRIMINATORY LAWS,

627
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,033
WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, MAKING

628
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,966
IT MUCH HARDER FOR ANYONE TO

629
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,533
CHALLENGE THEM.

630
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,700
AND GIVEN THAT ONE OF THE

631
00:16:54,766 --> 00:16:56,233
DWINDLING WAYS YOU CAN STILL

632
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,966
SUCCESSFULLY SUE UNDER THE VRA

633
00:16:58,033 --> 00:16:59,400
IS BY DEMONSTRATING A BILL IS

634
00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:02,100
RACIALLY MOTIVATED, IT'S HARDLY

635
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:03,433
SURPRISING THAT THOSE PASSING

636
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,300
THESE NEW LAWS HAVE BEEN QUICK

637
00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:07,600
TO SHUT DOWN ANY DISCUSSION OF

638
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:10,600
THEIR RACIAL IMPACT.

639
00:17:10,666 --> 00:17:12,566
IN FACT, IN TEXAS, IN THE MIDST

640
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:13,866
OF DEBATING THEIR NEW BILL,

641
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:14,833
THERE WAS THIS INCREDIBLE

642
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,533
MOMENT:

643
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,533
>> MEMBERS, THIS IS A REMINDER

644
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,566
TO EVERYONE TO BE CIVIL AND

645
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:21,900
RESPECTFUL TO OUR COLLEAGUES AS

646
00:17:21,966 --> 00:17:24,566
WE DEBATE SB-1.

647
00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:25,933
THE CHAIR WOULD APPRECIATE

648
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,966
MEMBERS NOT USING THE WORD

649
00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:35,900
"RACISM" THIS AFTERNOON.

650
00:17:35,966 --> 00:17:37,366
>> John: LOOK, LOOK, IF THE WORD

651
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:38,766
YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO USE IS

652
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:41,766
"RACISM," I HATE TO BREAK IT TO

653
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,400
YOU, BUT YOU'RE DOING A RACISM.

654
00:17:42,466 --> 00:17:43,700
SOMEONE MIGHT'VE TOLD YOU THAT

655
00:17:43,766 --> 00:17:44,900
SOONER, BUT IN FAIRNESS, YOU

656
00:17:44,966 --> 00:17:47,066
TOLD THEM THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED.

657
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,833
A CONSTANT THEME IN DEBATES OVER

658
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:50,700
THESE BILLS IS BLACK-ELECTED

659
00:17:50,766 --> 00:17:51,533
OFFICIALS POINTING OUT THEIR

660
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,900
IMPACT AND THEIR WHITE

661
00:17:52,966 --> 00:17:54,366
COLLEAGUES TELLING THEM TO BE

662
00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:55,700
QUIET.

663
00:17:55,766 --> 00:17:57,233
IN ARIZONA, BACK IN APRIL, THEY

664
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:04,833
WERE DEBATING A BILL THAT MAKES

665
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,366
IT HARD FOR MANY VOTERS TO

666
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:06,966
RECEIVE AN EARLY BALLOT IN THE

667
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:07,166
MAIL.

668
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:08,233
BUT WATCH WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ONE

669
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:08,833
LAWMAKER STARTED POINTING OUT

670
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:09,400
THE DISPROPORTIONATE IMPACTS

671
00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:10,633
THAT WOULD HAVE.

672
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:14,700
>> THE EFFECT OF THIS BILL WILL

673
00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:15,300
MAKE IT HARDER FOR INDEPENDENT

674
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:16,533
VOTERS, SENIORS, NATIVE

675
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,800
AMERICANS, BLACK, BROWN, AND

676
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:20,300
LOW-INCOME PEOPLE TO VOTE.

677
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,366
TO EACH OF YOU --

678
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,800
>> POINT OF ORDER.

679
00:18:23,866 --> 00:18:24,333
>> IN 2022 --

680
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,233
>> POINT OF ORDER.

681
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,833
>> I HAVE 12 WORDS FOR YOU.

682
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:27,466
>> POINT OF ORDER.

683
00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:28,366
>> SHOW UP --

684
00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:29,400
>> POINT OF ORDER.

685
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:30,333
>> SHOW OUT --

686
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,500
>> POINT OF ORDER.

687
00:18:31,566 --> 00:18:33,800
>> AND VOTE.

688
00:18:33,866 --> 00:18:36,700
>> John: OKAY, YOU SHOULD NEVER

689
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:38,266
SHOUT SOMEONE DOWN WHEN THEY

690
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,100
ONLY WANT TO SAY 12 WORDS,

691
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:40,666
UNLESS, OF COURSE, THOSE 12

692
00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:41,466
WORDS ARE, "HIS TESTICLES BECAME

693
00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:42,033
SWOLLEN.

694
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:43,033
HIS FRIEND WAS WEEKS AWAY FROM

695
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:48,933
GETTING MARRIED."

696
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,566
AND LOOK, AND LOOK, I KNOW, THAT

697
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:51,166
OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

698
00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:51,733
BUT WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THAT

699
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,833
MAN'S COLLEAGUE READ FROM THE

700
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,400
RULE BOOK TO EXPLAIN HIS

701
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,200
"POINT OF ORDER."

702
00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:57,133
>> IN ACCORDANCE WITH RULE 19A,

703
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,133
NO MEMBER SHALL BE PERMITTED TO

704
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,300
INDULGE IN PERSONALITIES, USE

705
00:19:00,366 --> 00:19:01,200
LANGUAGE PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE,

706
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,000
ARRAIGN MOTIVES OF MEMBERS,

707
00:19:03,066 --> 00:19:03,866
CHARGE DELIBERATE

708
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:04,666
MISREPRESENTATION, OR USE

709
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:05,433
LANGUAGE TENDING TO HOLD A

710
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,066
MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OR SENATE UP

711
00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:08,700
TO CONTEMPT.

712
00:19:08,766 --> 00:19:09,966
AND I FEEL PERSONALLY THAT

713
00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:11,333
MOTIVES WERE ARRAIGNED OF

714
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,600
MEMBERS, INCLUDING MYSELF, WITH

715
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:16,600
REGARDS TO COLORED PEOPLE, BLACK

716
00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:17,333
PEOPLE, WHATEVER PEOPLE THIS

717
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,333
INDIVIDUAL WANTS TO SINGLE OUT

718
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,833
IN THEIR ABILITY TO VOTE.

719
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:21,800
AND I DON'T THINK IT'S CORRECT

720
00:19:21,866 --> 00:19:23,066
AND I THINK HE SHOULD BE SAT

721
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,266
DOWN AND HE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED

722
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:32,833
TO SPEAK.

723
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,066
>> John: OH, FUCK ALL THE WAY

724
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:34,233
OFF.

725
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,033
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SITUATION

726
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:35,533
IS.

727
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,566
THE SECOND SOMEONE STARTS

728
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:37,133
READING YOU THE RULES FROM A

729
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,700
WEIRD, TINY BOOK, THEY CAN JUST

730
00:19:38,766 --> 00:19:39,966
FUCK RIGHT OFF INTO THE SUN.

731
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:41,166
ALSO, FOR THE RECORD, IF YOU SAY

732
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:42,833
THE WORDS "COLORED PEOPLE" AND

733
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,100
IT'S NOT IMMEDIATELY PRECEDED BY

734
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,300
"NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR THE

735
00:19:45,366 --> 00:19:50,533
ADVANCEMENT OF," YOU ARE

736
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,566
OFFICIALLY IN TIME-OUT.

737
00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:54,966
BUT REPUBLICANS CANNOT JUST

738
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,533
CLAIM THEY'RE NOT BEING RACIST

739
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,633
IN PUSHING THESE BILLS -- THEY

740
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,833
DO STILL NEED A REASON FOR THEM.

741
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,133
SO WHAT, EXACTLY, IS THAT

742
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:00,366
REASON?

743
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:01,800
WELL, FOR YEARS, THEY CLAIMED

744
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:03,333
THERE WAS AN EPIDEMIC OF VOTER

745
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,900
FRAUD, DESPITE THE FACT ACTUAL

746
00:20:04,966 --> 00:20:06,133
INSTANCES OF THAT ARE INCREDIBLY

747
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,466
RARE.

748
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:09,066
SO THEY'VE NOW SHIFTED THEIR

749
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:10,233
JUSTIFICATION FROM SOMETHING

750
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,100
MEASURABLE -- WHAT PEOPLE ARE

751
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:13,133
DOING -- TO SOMETHING MUCH LESS

752
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,566
TANGIBLE -- WHAT THEY'RE

753
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:16,100
FEELING.

754
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,533
JUST LISTEN TO THE LIEUTENANT

755
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,100
GOVERNOR OF TEXAS MAKING THAT

756
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:19,900
EXACT PITCH.

757
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:21,000
>> I'VE BEEN ASKED WHY THIS BILL

758
00:20:21,066 --> 00:20:22,333
IS NEEDED.

759
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,333
VERY SIMPLE.

760
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,433
THE BILL IS NEEDED BECAUSE

761
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,400
AMERICANS NO LONGER TRUST THE

762
00:20:27,466 --> 00:20:31,100
SYSTEM.

763
00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,566
AND A COUNTRY WHERE VOTERS DO

764
00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,200
NOT TRUST THE SYSTEM IS A

765
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:39,800
COUNTRY IN PERIL.

766
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:42,900
>> John: YEAH, OKAY, BUT YOU

767
00:20:42,966 --> 00:20:44,566
STILL NEED A REASON TO LEGISLATE

768
00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:45,000
AGAINST SOMETHING.

769
00:20:45,066 --> 00:20:45,633
YOU CAN'T JUST DO IT BASED ON A

770
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:45,933
FEELING.

771
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:46,533
IF THAT WERE THE CASE, I'D

772
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,200
PROPOSE A BILL TO OUTLAW

773
00:20:47,266 --> 00:20:49,133
TILDA SWINTON.

774
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,300
WHY?

775
00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:51,000
TOO CREEPY.

776
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:52,166
SHE LOOKS LIKE A GHOST WHO KNOWS

777
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:53,133
EXACTLY HOW AND WHEN YOU'LL DIE

778
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,033
BUT WON'T TELL YOU BECAUSE IT'S

779
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:56,433
MORE FUN FOR HER THAT WAY.

780
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,133
BUT I WILL SAY, DESPITE THE FACT

781
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,000
STATE AND LOCAL OFFICIALS FOUND

782
00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:01,166
THE LAST ELECTION TO BE

783
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:02,500
"THE MOST SECURE IN AMERICAN

784
00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:03,866
HISTORY," THE TRUTH IS, MANY

785
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:05,166
REPUBLICANS DON'T TRUST THE

786
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:06,633
SYSTEM.

787
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,533
BUT THE REASON FOR THAT MIGHT BE

788
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,900
THAT PEOPLE LIKE DAN PATRICK

789
00:21:09,966 --> 00:21:13,233
SPENT ALL LAST YEAR CALLING

790
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,666
VOTING BY MAIL A SCAM BY

791
00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,133
DEMOCRATS TO STEAL THE ELECTION,

792
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,233
AND SAYING SHIT LIKE THIS:

793
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:20,233
>> LOOK, WHEN YOU HAVE AN

794
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:21,600
OPPORTUNITY TO STEAL A VOTE, THE

795
00:21:21,666 --> 00:21:24,166
DEMOCRATS WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF

796
00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:26,266
IT.

797
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:27,133
AND YOU CAN SWING THE BALLOTS

798
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:27,533
EASILY, ED.

799
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,600
I COULD GIVE YOU TEN SCENARIOS,

800
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:29,400
BUT I WON'T, BECAUSE I DON'T

801
00:21:29,466 --> 00:21:30,133
WANT TO GIVE ANYONE IDEAS HOW

802
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:30,966
YOU CAN EASILY STEAL THOUSANDS

803
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:31,833
OF VOTES.

804
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:34,066
>> John: OH, COME ON, DAN.

805
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:34,966
"I CAN GIVE YOU TEN SCENARIOS,

806
00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:37,300
BUT I WON'T" IS SUCH AN OBVIOUS

807
00:21:37,366 --> 00:21:41,066
LIE.

808
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,733
IT'S UP THERE WITH

809
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,033
"I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, SHE GOES

810
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,733
TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL, YOU

811
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:54,033
WOULDN'T KNOW HER",

812
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,133
OR "I'M FIVE

813
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,866
MINUTES AWAY!" OR

814
00:21:57,933 --> 00:21:58,400
"I'VE NEVER

815
00:21:58,466 --> 00:21:59,100
SEXUALLY FANTASIZED ABOUT

816
00:21:59,166 --> 00:21:59,733
LOBSTERS."

817
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,166
WE'VE ALL DONE THAT.

818
00:22:00,233 --> 00:22:00,800
IT'S NATURAL.

819
00:22:00,866 --> 00:22:01,500
THEY'RE STOIC AND TERRIFYING,

820
00:22:01,566 --> 00:22:02,233
THE PERFECT SEXUAL COMBINATION.

821
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:02,933
WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR IF NOT

822
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,200
SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY WANT

823
00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:04,633
AND ALSO HATES YOU?

824
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,133
THAT'S LOBSTERS, BUDDY!

825
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,266
WE WANT THEIR CLAWS PINCHING OUR

826
00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:06,533
EARLOBES.

827
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,633
NOT TOO HARD, BUT HONESTLY?

828
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:08,033
HARD.

829
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:08,633
LIKE WHEN THE DENTIST SAYS

830
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:09,366
"DOES THIS HURT?" AND YOU SAY

831
00:22:09,433 --> 00:22:10,433
"NO" BUT YOU MEAN "YES" BECAUSE

832
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:11,333
YOU'RE KIND OF CURIOUS WHAT THIS

833
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,033
DENTIST CAN DO WHEN PUSHED.

834
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:12,700
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LEGS A

835
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:13,000
LOBSTER HAS?

836
00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:14,000
I'LL TELL YOU:

837
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:15,366
A SEX AMOUNT.

838
00:22:15,433 --> 00:22:17,266
BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK.

839
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:18,800
BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK.

840
00:22:18,866 --> 00:22:19,733
THAT MANY.

841
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:20,633
FUCK ME STUPID,

842
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:24,200
YOU WEAPONIZED OCEAN BITCH.

843
00:22:24,266 --> 00:22:25,700
HERE IS FOUR HIT REASONS WHY IT

844
00:22:25,766 --> 00:22:26,300
WOULD BE COOL TO FUCK AN

845
00:22:26,366 --> 00:22:27,600
ADULT-SIZED LOBSTER ON HOLIDAY:

846
00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:28,200
THEY LIVE A LONG TIME, MEANING

847
00:22:28,266 --> 00:22:29,700
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING;

848
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:30,666
THEIR BACKS ARE INCREDIBLY

849
00:22:30,733 --> 00:22:32,600
STRONG AND RESPONSIVE --

850
00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:33,200
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY

851
00:22:33,266 --> 00:22:34,500
THAT'S GOOD SEXUALLY;

852
00:22:34,566 --> 00:22:35,700
THEY'RE INCAPABLE OF RACISM;

853
00:22:35,766 --> 00:22:36,200
AND THEY CAN'T TALK AND

854
00:22:36,266 --> 00:22:37,700
RUIN THE MOOD.

855
00:22:37,766 --> 00:22:38,966
WE ASK "IS THIS GOOD?"

856
00:22:39,033 --> 00:22:40,000
AND THEY JUST SORT OF WOBBLE

857
00:22:40,066 --> 00:22:41,166
THEIR HORRIBLE BLACK EYES

858
00:22:41,233 --> 00:22:43,266
AROUND.

859
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:44,933
MY POINT HERE IS, WE ALL THINK

860
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:45,666
ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH BURDENED,

861
00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:47,200
UNHAPPY LOBSTERS ALL THE TIME,

862
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:48,933
EVEN IN WINTER, AND THAT'S

863
00:22:49,033 --> 00:22:50,133
WHY WE SHOULDN'T LISTEN TO

864
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,466
DAN PATRICK OR, HONESTLY,

865
00:22:51,533 --> 00:22:52,033
WHOEVER IT WAS I WAS TALKING

866
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:57,200
ABOUT EARLIER.

867
00:22:57,266 --> 00:22:57,600
I DON'T REMEMBER.

868
00:22:57,666 --> 00:22:58,066
BUT HERE'S THE THING:

869
00:22:58,133 --> 00:22:59,066
THERE'S A REASON PATRICK CAN

870
00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:00,366
GIVE YOU TEN SCENARIOS FOR

871
00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:01,266
DEMOCRATS STEALING ELECTIONS,

872
00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:02,500
BUT NO EVIDENCE, AND THAT'S

873
00:23:02,566 --> 00:23:03,766
BECAUSE -- DESPITE SAYING HE'D

874
00:23:03,833 --> 00:23:05,233
PAY UP TO A MILLION DOLLARS FOR

875
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,800
EVIDENCE OF VOTER FRAUD --

876
00:23:06,866 --> 00:23:08,033
HE HAS, TO PUT IT MILDLY, NOT

877
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:10,400
PAID OUT.

878
00:23:10,466 --> 00:23:12,366
AND LOCAL ELECTION SUPERVISORS

879
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:13,400
THEMSELVES WILL TELL YOU THESE

880
00:23:13,466 --> 00:23:14,933
BILLS MAKE NO SENSE.

881
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,866
THE FLORIDA SUPERVISORS OF

882
00:23:16,933 --> 00:23:18,133
ELECTIONS STRONGLY OPPOSED THEIR

883
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,000
STATE'S NEW BILL, WITH ONE

884
00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:21,400
REPUBLICAN SUPERVISOR TELLING A

885
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:22,500
REPORTER, "IT'S STUPID, OKAY?

886
00:23:22,566 --> 00:23:23,633
IT WAS A SOLUTION LOOKING FOR A

887
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:26,500
PROBLEM."

888
00:23:26,566 --> 00:23:27,233
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY ONE STEP WORSE

889
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,566
THAN THAT.

890
00:23:29,633 --> 00:23:31,200
BECAUSE THESE ARE SOLUTIONS TO

891
00:23:31,266 --> 00:23:33,766
PROBLEMS THAT HAVE BEEN

892
00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:35,100
DELIBERATELY AND STRATEGICALLY

893
00:23:35,166 --> 00:23:37,733
MANUFACTURED.

894
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,066
THE GAME'S PRETTY OBVIOUS:

895
00:23:39,133 --> 00:23:39,900
USE BULLSHIT CLAIMS TO STIR UP

896
00:23:39,966 --> 00:23:41,000
BASELESS FEAR TO PASS

897
00:23:41,066 --> 00:23:42,066
UNNECESSARY RESTRICTIONS

898
00:23:42,133 --> 00:23:42,733
TARGETING PARTICULAR GROUPS.

899
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,100
JUST LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED THIS

900
00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:46,033
WEEK.

901
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:52,166
THE NONSENSE "AUDIT" IN ARIZONA

902
00:23:52,233 --> 00:23:53,233
COME TO A HUMILIATING CONCLUSION

903
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:54,100
THAT FAILED TO SHOW, YET AGAIN,

904
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:54,700
THAT TRUMP WAS CHEATED OF

905
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,633
VICTORY -- BUT ITS ORGANIZERS

906
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:57,100
STILL RECOMMENDED THE

907
00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:57,800
LEGISLATURE TIGHTEN UP THE

908
00:23:57,866 --> 00:23:58,600
ELECTION PROCESS TO PROVIDE

909
00:23:58,666 --> 00:23:59,566
ADDITIONAL CERTAINTY GOING

910
00:23:59,633 --> 00:24:03,500
FORWARD.

911
00:24:03,566 --> 00:24:04,366
BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY FUCKING

912
00:24:04,433 --> 00:24:04,533
DID.

913
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,000
IT'S ALL A SHAMELESS ATTEMPT TO

914
00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:06,800
GET TO THE SAME PLACE.

915
00:24:06,866 --> 00:24:10,100
SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO FIGHT ALL

916
00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:12,100
THIS?

917
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:14,533
THE GOOD NEWS IS, THERE'S

918
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,366
PROPOSED LEGISLATION THAT

919
00:24:17,433 --> 00:24:18,400
ADDRESSES MANY OF THE PROBLEMS

920
00:24:18,466 --> 00:24:19,566
YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT.

921
00:24:19,633 --> 00:24:20,733
THE JOHN LEWIS VOTING RIGHTS

922
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,333
ADVANCEMENT ACT WOULD RESTORE

923
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,033
PARTS OF THE VRA THE SUPREME

924
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:22,900
COURT GUTTED.

925
00:24:22,966 --> 00:24:23,633
AND MORE SUBSTANTIALLY, THERE'S

926
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:24,500
THE FREEDOM TO VOTE ACT, WHICH

927
00:24:24,566 --> 00:24:25,133
WOULD, AMONG OTHER THINGS, MAKE

928
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:26,500
VOTING BY MAIL AVAILABLE FOR

929
00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:27,300
EVERY VOTER, MAKE ELECTION DAY A

930
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:28,000
PUBLIC HOLIDAY, AND MAKE

931
00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:29,300
AUTOMATIC VOTER REGISTRATION A

932
00:24:29,366 --> 00:24:30,333
NATIONAL STANDARD.

933
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,433
UNFORTUNATELY, MITCH

934
00:24:33,500 --> 00:24:37,300
McCONNELL'S ANNOUNCED HE'LL

935
00:24:37,366 --> 00:24:38,900
FILIBUSTER ANY ATTEMPTS TO GET

936
00:24:38,966 --> 00:24:44,566
EITHER OF THOSE ACTS PASSED.

937
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:45,133
SO IF WE WANT TO PROTECT THE

938
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,366
BALLOT -- WHICH WE ABSOLUTELY

939
00:24:46,433 --> 00:24:47,000
SHOULD -- WE NEED TO END THE

940
00:24:47,066 --> 00:24:49,633
FILIBUSTER.

941
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,433
AND YOU'D HOPE EVERY NATIONAL

942
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,133
DEMOCRATIC POLITICIAN WOULD BE

943
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,866
SCREAMING ABOUT THIS, BUT SOME

944
00:24:54,933 --> 00:24:57,566
ARE DOING THE OPPOSITE.

945
00:24:57,633 --> 00:24:58,100
JOE MANCHIN'S CONSISTENTLY

946
00:24:58,166 --> 00:24:58,600
DEFENDED THE FILIBUSTER.

947
00:24:58,666 --> 00:24:59,366
AND WHEN JOE BIDEN WAS ASKED IF

948
00:24:59,433 --> 00:25:03,100
HE SUPPORTS DOING AWAY WITH IT

949
00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,233
TO SPECIFICALLY PROTECT

950
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:04,833
VOTING RIGHTS, THIS

951
00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:05,800
WAS HIS MADDENING ANSWER.

952
00:25:05,866 --> 00:25:09,933
>> WHAT I DON'T WANT TO DO IS

953
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:10,866
GET WRAPPED UP, RIGHT NOW, IN

954
00:25:10,933 --> 00:25:11,866
THE ARGUMENT OF WHETHER OR NOT

955
00:25:11,933 --> 00:25:12,733
THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE FILIBUSTER

956
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,533
OR -- LOOK, THE AMERICAN PUBLIC,

957
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,766
YOU CAN'T STOP THEM FROM VOTING.

958
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:18,766
YOU TRIED LAST TIME.

959
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,966
MORE PEOPLE VOTED LAST TIME THAN

960
00:25:21,033 --> 00:25:22,900
ANY TIME IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

961
00:25:22,966 --> 00:25:23,666
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORST

962
00:25:23,733 --> 00:25:24,433
PANDEMIC IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

963
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,733
MORE PEOPLE DID.

964
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,533
AND THEY SHOWED UP.

965
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:30,800
THEY'RE GOING TO SHOW UP AGAIN.

966
00:25:30,866 --> 00:25:32,633
THEY'RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.

967
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,533
>> John: SURE, JOE.

968
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,400
MAYBE.

969
00:25:35,466 --> 00:25:36,433
OR MAYBE THEY'LL SHOW UP AND GET

970
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:36,933
TURNED AWAY, BECAUSE OF

971
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,100
EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN TALKING

972
00:25:39,166 --> 00:25:39,966
ABOUT.

973
00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:41,066
BIDEN'S WHITE HOUSE EVEN

974
00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:42,766
REPORTEDLY TOLD VOTING RIGHTS

975
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:45,933
GROUPS THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO

976
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
OUTORGANIZE VOTER SUPPRESSION.

977
00:25:47,066 --> 00:25:48,100
BUT THE PROBLEM IS, IT ISN'T.

978
00:25:48,166 --> 00:25:48,433
IT JUST ISN'T.

979
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:49,633
THAT'S WHAT VOTER SUPPRESSION

980
00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:51,533
IS, AS ACTIVISTS AND ACTUAL

981
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,400
ORGANIZERS WILL TELL YOU:

982
00:25:55,466 --> 00:25:56,833
>> I'M VERY UPSET WITH

983
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,900
PRESIDENT BIDEN BECAUSE I FEEL

984
00:25:58,966 --> 00:26:00,966
LIKE HE'S NOT ADVOCATING FOR US

985
00:26:01,033 --> 00:26:01,433
IN THIS MOMENT.

986
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:03,300
WHAT I WANT HIM TO SEE IS --

987
00:26:03,366 --> 00:26:04,833
IS TO STOP SAYING TO OUTORGANIZE

988
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:05,966
VOTER SUPPRESSION.

989
00:26:06,033 --> 00:26:07,766
I WANT HIM TO SUPPORT THE

990
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,633
ELIMINATION OF THE FILIBUSTER.

991
00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:11,300
I WANT HIM TO SUPPORT AND

992
00:26:11,366 --> 00:26:12,166
ENDORSE THE FOR THE PEOPLE ACT

993
00:26:12,233 --> 00:26:12,800
BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO STEP UP --

994
00:26:12,866 --> 00:26:13,266
STEP UP TO THE PLATE.

995
00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:14,833
WE ARE AT A -- AT A CROSSROADS.

996
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:16,066
WE NEED FEDERAL ASSISTANCE

997
00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:16,366
IMMEDIATELY.

998
00:26:16,433 --> 00:26:17,166
IF HE'S INCAPABLE OF THAT, HE

999
00:26:17,233 --> 00:26:21,800
NEEDS TO BE QUIET AND GO.

1000
00:26:21,866 --> 00:26:22,700
>> John: YEAH, HE'S RIGHT.

1001
00:26:22,766 --> 00:26:23,400
THE SOLUTION TO BEING BLOCKED

1002
00:26:23,466 --> 00:26:23,900
FROM VOTING CAN'T BE TO

1003
00:26:23,966 --> 00:26:25,700
"JUST VOTE" FOR THE SAME REASON

1004
00:26:25,766 --> 00:26:27,433
THAT THE SOLUTION TO BEING

1005
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:28,166
LOCKED OUT OF YOUR HOME CAN'T BE

1006
00:26:28,233 --> 00:26:29,166
TO TELL SOMEONE "JUST GO INSIDE

1007
00:26:29,233 --> 00:26:32,066
AND GET THE KEYS."

1008
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:33,133
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING

1009
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:33,333
ABOUT?

1010
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,100
I'M LOCKED OUT.

1011
00:26:34,166 --> 00:26:37,833
HOW ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING

1012
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,100
THIS SITUATION?

1013
00:26:39,166 --> 00:26:39,733
ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY TO JOES

1014
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:40,500
BIDEN, MANCHIN, AND ANY OTHER

1015
00:26:40,566 --> 00:26:43,066
JOE WHO WANTS TO SKIP DOING

1016
00:26:43,133 --> 00:26:44,600
ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT AND INSTEAD

1017
00:26:44,666 --> 00:26:46,833
RELY ON THE PERSEVERANCE OF THE

1018
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:48,600
AMERICAN SPIRIT: STOP FUCKING

1019
00:26:48,666 --> 00:26:49,666
AROUND AND FIX THIS.

1020
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:52,000
I KNOW IT'S TEMPTING TO BANG THE

1021
00:26:52,066 --> 00:26:52,900
OPTIMISTIC DRUM THAT MORE

1022
00:26:52,966 --> 00:26:54,700
AMERICANS SHOWED UP LAST YEAR

1023
00:26:54,766 --> 00:26:57,966
THAN EVER BEFORE, AND BY GUM,

1024
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,300
THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN, BUT HERE'S

1025
00:27:00,366 --> 00:27:01,733
THE THING: THE REPUBLICANS KNOW

1026
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,033
THAT MIGHT HAPPEN -- THAT'S WHY

1027
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:04,766
THEY'RE DOING THIS.

1028
00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:06,033
AND ANYONE UNWILLING TO DO WHAT

1029
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,000
IT TAKES TO ACTUALLY TACKLE THIS

1030
00:27:07,066 --> 00:27:09,066
PROBLEM SHOULD -- AND I CAN'T

1031
00:27:09,133 --> 00:27:10,266
BELIEVE I'M GOING TO BORROW THIS

1032
00:27:10,333 --> 00:27:12,400
QUOTE -- REALLY BE SAT DOWN AND

1033
00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:14,766
NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK.

1034
00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:20,300
AND NOW THIS.

1035
00:27:20,366 --> 00:27:23,600
>> Announcer: AND NOW, THE

1036
00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:25,766
UTTERLY SPECTACULAR DRAMATIC

1037
00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:27,066
PAUSES OF ESPN'S

1038
00:27:27,133 --> 00:27:27,466
STEPHEN A. SMITH.

1039
00:27:27,533 --> 00:27:28,333
>> I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THE

1040
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,866
WINNERS AND LOSERS...

1041
00:27:31,933 --> 00:27:35,133
FOR THIS SUMMER ALREADY...

1042
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:42,600
HOUSTON, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

1043
00:27:42,666 --> 00:27:45,200
SPEAKING OF PROBLEMS...

1044
00:27:45,266 --> 00:27:51,066
I'M PRETTY TICKED OFF!

1045
00:27:51,133 --> 00:27:55,100
OH, AND MY TICKED!

1046
00:27:55,166 --> 00:27:56,700
PUT IT MILDLY, I AM HAVING A

1047
00:27:56,766 --> 00:28:04,766
VERY BAD DAY!

1048
00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:10,766
I AM IN NO MOOD!

1049
00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:18,433
SO WHAT HAPPENS?

1050
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:26,166
NOT ONE, NOT ONE, NOT ONE!

1051
00:28:26,233 --> 00:28:30,766
IT'S NOT BAD.

1052
00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:31,000
NOT BAD.

1053
00:28:31,066 --> 00:28:59,733
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING...

1054
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:04,100
MELO IS GONE!

1055
00:29:04,166 --> 00:29:05,000
>> John: MOVING ON.

1056
00:29:05,066 --> 00:29:05,866
BEFORE WE GO TONIGHT, A QUICK

1057
00:29:05,933 --> 00:29:06,766
WORD ABOUT THE OUTDOORS.

1058
00:29:06,833 --> 00:29:07,366
IT'S HOME TO LAKES, TREES, AND

1059
00:29:07,433 --> 00:29:08,233
THE CANDY WITCH WHO LURES

1060
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:11,033
CHILDREN TO THEIR DOOM.

1061
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:11,633
IT'S GREAT!

1062
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:12,533
SPECIFICALLY, I WANT TO TALK

1063
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,100
ABOUT ONE WAY TO CONSERVE THE

1064
00:29:13,166 --> 00:29:16,933
PRECIOUS NATURE THE OUTDOORS

1065
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,600
CONTAINS, AND THAT IS

1066
00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:18,066
DUCK STAMPS.

1067
00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:18,800
IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF THEM,

1068
00:29:18,866 --> 00:29:21,500
I'LL LET THIS CHARMINGLY STILTED

1069
00:29:21,566 --> 00:29:22,666
1990s VIDEO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

1070
00:29:22,733 --> 00:29:24,266
>> THE MAJORITY OF STAMPS ARE

1071
00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:24,866
SOLD TO WATERFOWL HUNTERS WHO,

1072
00:29:24,933 --> 00:29:25,733
BY LAW, MUST HAVE A FEDERAL

1073
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,200
DUCK STAMP IN THEIR POSSESSION

1074
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:30,333
WHILE HUNTING.

1075
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,300
INCREASINGLY OTHERS, YOUNG

1076
00:29:31,366 --> 00:29:32,866
AND OLD, ARE VOLUNTARILY BUYING

1077
00:29:32,933 --> 00:29:34,333
FEDERAL DUCK STAMPS AS AN

1078
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,466
EFFECTIVE, DIRECT WAY TO HELP

1079
00:29:36,533 --> 00:29:38,066
CONSERVE OUR NATION'S WATERFOWL

1080
00:29:38,133 --> 00:29:43,300
AND OTHER WILDLIFE.

1081
00:29:43,366 --> 00:29:44,100
>> John: NOW, I KNOW THAT LOOKS

1082
00:29:44,166 --> 00:29:45,033
SWEET, BUT WHAT YOU DIDN'T SEE

1083
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:45,700
THERE IS THE SCREAMING THAT

1084
00:29:45,766 --> 00:29:46,566
HAPPENED AS SOON AS THOSE TWO

1085
00:29:46,633 --> 00:29:46,900
KIDS GOT HOME.

1086
00:29:46,966 --> 00:29:47,933
"WHAT ARE THESE?

1087
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,100
DUCK STAMPS?

1088
00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:50,200
I SENT YOU TO THE STORE FOR

1089
00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:51,166
MEDICINE!

1090
00:29:51,233 --> 00:29:52,366
LISTEN TO ME, YOUR SISTER IS

1091
00:29:52,433 --> 00:29:54,066
ABOUT TO DIE BECAUSE YOU KEEP

1092
00:29:54,133 --> 00:29:56,200
SPENDING ALL HER INSULIN MONEY

1093
00:29:56,266 --> 00:29:59,833
ON BIRD STICKERS!"

1094
00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:01,433
BUT IT'S TRUE: EVERY YEAR, THE

1095
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:04,233
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ISSUES A

1096
00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:05,033
DUCK STAMP, WHICH ISN'T A

1097
00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:05,633
POSTAGE STAMP, BUT IS

1098
00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:06,400
EFFECTIVELY A KIND OF PERMIT FOR

1099
00:30:06,466 --> 00:30:07,133
HUNTERS.

1100
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,300
THEY CURRENTLY COST $25, AND

1101
00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:09,800
THEY'VE ACTUALLY BEEN A HUGE

1102
00:30:09,866 --> 00:30:12,200
SUCCESS STORY FOR CONSERVATION,

1103
00:30:12,266 --> 00:30:14,866
WITH 98 CENTS OF EVERY DOLLAR

1104
00:30:14,933 --> 00:30:16,300
THAT THEY MAKE GOING TO

1105
00:30:16,366 --> 00:30:16,833
PRESERVING WETLANDS.

1106
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,100
SINCE 1934, THE STAMPS HAVE

1107
00:30:18,166 --> 00:30:18,800
RAISED MORE THAN A BILLION

1108
00:30:18,866 --> 00:30:19,933
DOLLARS TO PROTECT OVER

1109
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,500
6 MILLION ACRES OF WETLANDS

1110
00:30:21,566 --> 00:30:23,566
HABITAT.

1111
00:30:23,633 --> 00:30:24,766
AND THAT'S PARTLY BECAUSE

1112
00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:25,566
NON-HUNTERS LIKE TO COLLECT THEM

1113
00:30:25,633 --> 00:30:29,266
TOO.

1114
00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:30,300
AND YOU CAN SEE WHY.

1115
00:30:30,366 --> 00:30:31,566
THERE'VE BEEN SOME BEAUTIES IN

1116
00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:33,066
THE PAST, LIKE THIS 1960s STAMP

1117
00:30:33,133 --> 00:30:34,600
FEATURING A FAMILY OF REDHEAD

1118
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,533
DUCKS, THIS 1980s ONE

1119
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,900
SHOWCASING A MAJESTIC

1120
00:30:37,966 --> 00:30:38,566
SNOW GOOSE, AND THIS MOTTLED

1121
00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:39,966
DUCK FROM THE 2000s WHO IS

1122
00:30:40,033 --> 00:30:41,700
ABSOLUTELY RIPPED.

1123
00:30:41,766 --> 00:30:43,066
CHECK OUT THE DEFINITION ON THAT

1124
00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:44,266
BACK.

1125
00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:45,366
QUICK QUESTION, DOES THIS STAMP

1126
00:30:45,433 --> 00:30:48,800
COME WITH MOO SHU PANCAKES?

1127
00:30:48,866 --> 00:30:52,300
'CAUSE THAT DUCK IS SHREDDED.

1128
00:30:52,366 --> 00:30:54,200
BUT THE BEST THING ABOUT THE

1129
00:30:54,266 --> 00:30:55,133
DUCK STAMP IS HOW EACH YEAR'S IS

1130
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,600
CHOSEN -- BECAUSE IT'S AN

1131
00:30:56,666 --> 00:30:57,133
ANNUAL, NATIONWIDE ART

1132
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,166
COMPETITION.

1133
00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,733
AND THE JUDGING OF IT IS NO

1134
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,966
JOKE.

1135
00:31:03,033 --> 00:31:04,933
>> THE JUDGES INDEPENDENTLY VOTE

1136
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,400
ON EACH ENTRY.

1137
00:31:06,466 --> 00:31:07,933
THEY CONSIDER NOT ONLY THE

1138
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,833
VISUAL IMPACT OF THE ART AND HOW

1139
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:14,766
IT MIGHT LOOK AS A STAMP BUT

1140
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:15,666
ALSO WHETHER IT IS ANATOMICALLY

1141
00:31:15,733 --> 00:31:16,466
ACCURATE.

1142
00:31:16,533 --> 00:31:17,200
>> John: IT'S TRUE: DUCKS MUST

1143
00:31:17,266 --> 00:31:18,266
NOT ONLY BE BEAUTIFUL, BUT

1144
00:31:18,333 --> 00:31:19,966
ANATOMICALLY ACCURATE.

1145
00:31:20,033 --> 00:31:21,666
AN ESPECIALLY FUN REQUIREMENT,

1146
00:31:21,733 --> 00:31:25,866
GIVEN THAT YOU'RE PAINTING AN

1147
00:31:25,933 --> 00:31:26,733
ANIMAL THAT HAS -- AS WE'VE

1148
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:27,466
MENTIONED ON THIS SHOW BEFORE --

1149
00:31:27,533 --> 00:31:28,666
A LONG, CORKSCREW-SHAPED PENIS.

1150
00:31:28,733 --> 00:31:29,833
IT'S A FACT THAT DROVE US TO

1151
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:30,966
CREATE THIS IMAGE OF DONALD DUCK

1152
00:31:31,033 --> 00:31:32,466
THAT -- AS OF TAPING -- DISNEY

1153
00:31:32,533 --> 00:31:33,800
HAD NOT YET SUED US OVER.

1154
00:31:33,866 --> 00:31:34,800
AND ONCE YOU START LOOKING INTO

1155
00:31:34,866 --> 00:31:36,333
THE DUCK STAMP CONTEST, IT'S NOT

1156
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:37,600
LONG BEFORE YOU FIND SOME DRAMA.

1157
00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:39,300
THERE ARE BIG NAMES, LIKE THE

1158
00:31:39,366 --> 00:31:40,566
HAUTMAN BROTHERS, AN ACTUAL

1159
00:31:40,633 --> 00:31:41,800
DUCK DYNASTY WHO, GOING INTO

1160
00:31:41,866 --> 00:31:43,533
THIS YEAR'S COMPETITION, HAD

1161
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,866
COLLECTIVELY WON IT 13 TIMES.

1162
00:31:46,933 --> 00:31:48,766
THEY ARE TRULY THE DUCK

1163
00:31:48,833 --> 00:31:50,700
G.O.A.T.s.

1164
00:31:50,766 --> 00:31:52,533
AND THERE'S ALSO BEEN A HEATED

1165
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,100
RIVALRY BETWEEN ONE OF THE

1166
00:31:55,166 --> 00:31:56,200
REGULAR, TRADITIONAL DUCK

1167
00:31:56,266 --> 00:31:57,033
ARTISTS, TIM TAYLOR, AND HIS

1168
00:31:57,100 --> 00:31:58,100
MORE AVANT-GARDE RIVAL,

1169
00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,533
ROB McBROOM, WHO TIM TAYLOR HAS

1170
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,766
NO TIME FOR.

1171
00:32:01,833 --> 00:32:05,266
>> ROB McBROOM IS A GUY WHO

1172
00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:07,233
ENTERS THE DUCK STAMP EVERY

1173
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:08,066
YEAR.

1174
00:32:08,133 --> 00:32:08,933
AND EVERY YEAR, HE VIOLATES THE

1175
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,266
RULES, HE BREAKS EVERY RULE OF

1176
00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,833
THE CONTEST, AND HE'S REALLY

1177
00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:13,366
JUST AN ATTENTION SEEKER.

1178
00:32:13,433 --> 00:32:15,433
>> HE'S FOUND THIS CONTEST THAT

1179
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,133
PEOPLE TAKE VERY SERIOUSLY AND

1180
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
THE CONTESTANTS WORK REALLY HARD

1181
00:32:19,266 --> 00:32:20,733
ON THE ENTRIES AND HE MOCKS IT.

1182
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,833
HE DOES PAINTINGS THAT MOCK IT.

1183
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:26,966
>> John: YEAH, TO BE FAIR,

1184
00:32:27,033 --> 00:32:28,000
HE DOES KIND OF DO THAT.

1185
00:32:28,066 --> 00:32:28,833
HE'S SUBMITTED PAINTINGS TO

1186
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:29,666
FEDERAL AND STATE CONTESTS THAT

1187
00:32:29,733 --> 00:32:31,033
CLEARLY GO AGAINST THE DESIRED

1188
00:32:31,100 --> 00:32:32,066
AESTHETIC, LIKE THIS ONE OF TWO

1189
00:32:32,133 --> 00:32:32,933
CARTOONISH DUCKS, AND WHATEVER

1190
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,666
THE FUCK THIS IS.

1191
00:32:34,733 --> 00:32:36,633
ALSO, ROB McBROOM IS VERY MUCH

1192
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:38,733
AWARE OF TIM TAYLOR'S CRITICISM

1193
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,866
AND TROLLED HIM FOR YEARS, EVEN

1194
00:32:40,933 --> 00:32:42,500
TAKING PREVIOUS TAYLOR PAINTINGS

1195
00:32:42,566 --> 00:32:45,733
AND PARODYING THEM.

1196
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,200
>> THIS IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS YOU

1197
00:32:47,266 --> 00:32:48,466
CAN GET TO TIM'S ORIGINAL

1198
00:32:48,533 --> 00:32:50,100
WITHOUT ACTUALLY KNOWING THE

1199
00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:51,566
SIZE, AND IT'S COMPLETELY BUILT

1200
00:32:51,633 --> 00:32:52,533
FROM SCRATCH.

1201
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,533
>> THIS IS THE PIECE OF WORK

1202
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,100
THAT ROB McBROOM TOOK OFF OF THE

1203
00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:58,966
INTERNET TO "ABSTRACT."

1204
00:32:59,033 --> 00:33:00,933
>> THE LITTLE BITS I'VE LEARNED

1205
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,100
ABOUT HIM, I'M LIKE, OKAY, HE

1206
00:33:04,166 --> 00:33:04,933
OBVIOUSLY HATES BARACK OBAMA,

1207
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:05,900
AND HE HATES COMMUNISM.

1208
00:33:05,966 --> 00:33:06,933
SO I DECIDED TO LOAD IT UP WITH

1209
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,100
IMAGERY WITH THAT.

1210
00:33:10,166 --> 00:33:11,566
>> HERE IS BARACK OBAMA'S BIRTH

1211
00:33:11,633 --> 00:33:15,033
CERTIFICATE THAT HE RELEASED.

1212
00:33:15,100 --> 00:33:17,366
HERE'S THE EYE OF THE DUCK,

1213
00:33:17,433 --> 00:33:23,800
WHICH IS THE COMMUNIST SYMBOL.

1214
00:33:23,866 --> 00:33:24,533
>> THERE'S OTHER THINGS IN HERE,

1215
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:25,600
LIKE HE WAS HOLDING A BABY AT A

1216
00:33:25,666 --> 00:33:27,033
CHRISTENING.

1217
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:27,833
AND THEN I PUT LENIN'S HEAD ON

1218
00:33:27,900 --> 00:33:28,933
TOP OF IT.

1219
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,300
>> John: WOW, THAT IS PETTY.

1220
00:33:30,366 --> 00:33:35,200
HONESTLY, IF I WERE TIM, I'D

1221
00:33:35,266 --> 00:33:36,433
BACK OFF AT THIS POINT.

1222
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:37,533
BECAUSE IF THIS MAN MADE A

1223
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,200
COMMUNIST DUCK OUT OF YOUR

1224
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:38,933
PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHS, JUST THINK

1225
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:39,466
WHAT ELSE HE'S CAPABLE OF.

1226
00:33:39,533 --> 00:33:41,033
"HERE'S ANOTHER ONE, TIM!

1227
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:42,100
THE FEATHERS ARE MADE OUT OF

1228
00:33:42,166 --> 00:33:43,500
BANK STATEMENTS I FISHED FROM

1229
00:33:43,566 --> 00:33:44,600
YOUR TRASH, AND THE BEAK IS FROM

1230
00:33:44,666 --> 00:33:45,533
A PHOTO OF YOU I TOOK WHILE YOU

1231
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,400
WERE SLEEPING.

1232
00:33:46,466 --> 00:33:50,666
BUT BY ALL MEANS, KEEP TALKING

1233
00:33:50,733 --> 00:33:52,100
SHIT."

1234
00:33:52,166 --> 00:33:53,566
THE POINT HERE IS, THE DUCK

1235
00:33:53,633 --> 00:33:54,433
STAMP COMPETITION IS INTENSE.

1236
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:55,833
LAST YEAR, THERE WERE SOME

1237
00:33:55,900 --> 00:33:56,566
INCREDIBLE ENTRIES, LIKE THIS

1238
00:33:56,633 --> 00:33:57,633
ONE OF A DUCK SOMEHOW TRIPPING

1239
00:33:57,700 --> 00:34:02,800
IN MIDAIR, AND THIS ONE, WHICH

1240
00:34:02,866 --> 00:34:05,300
I WOULD ARGUE IS ACTUALLY

1241
00:34:05,366 --> 00:34:05,600
A DOG STAMP.

1242
00:34:05,666 --> 00:34:06,333
A DOG ON HIS WAY TO

1243
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:06,866
A LEATHER BAR WHILE A DUCK

1244
00:34:06,933 --> 00:34:07,366
HAPPENED TO BE PASSING.

1245
00:34:07,433 --> 00:34:07,866
I'M NOT SAYING THAT AS A

1246
00:34:07,933 --> 00:34:08,733
CRITICISM.

1247
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,533
I'M JUST SAYING, THAT'S WHAT IT

1248
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,400
IS.

1249
00:34:12,466 --> 00:34:13,733
BUT THE OVERALL WINNER WAS THIS

1250
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:14,266
OBJECTIVELY WONDERFUL, VERY

1251
00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:15,066
ANATOMICALLY ACCURATE PAINTING

1252
00:34:15,133 --> 00:34:16,133
OF A LESSER SCAUP DRAKE BY

1253
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,800
ARTIST RICHARD CLIFTON.

1254
00:34:17,866 --> 00:34:18,600
AND HIDING THE DUCK'S COIL-Y

1255
00:34:18,666 --> 00:34:19,400
DICK UNDERWATER WAS A VERY SMART

1256
00:34:19,466 --> 00:34:20,833
MOVIE, RICHIE.

1257
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:22,500
YOU CAN'T SEE IT, BUT YOU KNOW

1258
00:34:22,566 --> 00:34:29,533
IT'S DOWN THERE SWIRLING AWAY.

1259
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,633
QUICK FUN SIDE NOTE: THAT

1260
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:31,866
DUCK CALL IN THE CORNER IS ONLY

1261
00:34:31,933 --> 00:34:32,800
THERE BECAUSE, UNDER THE TRUMP

1262
00:34:32,866 --> 00:34:33,466
ADMINISTRATION, THERE WAS

1263
00:34:33,533 --> 00:34:34,600
SUDDENLY A RULE THAT ALL ENTRIES

1264
00:34:34,666 --> 00:34:35,933
HAD TO FEATURE HUNTING IMAGERY,

1265
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:42,600
WHICH MANY PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE.

1266
00:34:42,666 --> 00:34:45,900
THANKFULLY, THAT RULE WILL BE

1267
00:34:45,966 --> 00:34:46,733
GONE NEXT YEAR, WHICH IS GOOD,

1268
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:47,633
BECAUSE POTENTIALLY DRIVING

1269
00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:48,900
PEOPLE AWAY FROM THE DUCK STAMP

1270
00:34:48,966 --> 00:34:49,633
IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

1271
00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:50,366
STAMP SALES ARE ALREADY DOWN,

1272
00:34:50,433 --> 00:34:51,133
AND AS YOU NOW KNOW, THAT MEANS

1273
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,433
LESS MONEY FOR CONSERVATION.

1274
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:53,600
WHAT CLEARLY NEEDS TO HAPPEN IS

1275
00:34:53,666 --> 00:34:54,866
FOR MORE PEOPLE TO BE DRIVEN TO

1276
00:34:54,933 --> 00:34:57,666
COLLECTING THESE THINGS.

1277
00:34:57,733 --> 00:34:59,566
AND FOR THAT TO WORK, YOU REALLY

1278
00:34:59,633 --> 00:35:00,200
NEED THIS YEAR'S WINNER TO BE AN

1279
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:04,000
ABSOLUTE DOOZY.

1280
00:35:04,066 --> 00:35:04,933
AND THAT IS WHERE WE COME IN.

1281
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:05,566
BECAUSE THE FACT IS, ANYONE CAN

1282
00:35:05,633 --> 00:35:07,100
ENTER THIS CONTEST.

1283
00:35:07,166 --> 00:35:09,300
AND I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT,

1284
00:35:09,366 --> 00:35:13,866
THIS YEAR, THIS ANYONE DID.

1285
00:35:13,933 --> 00:35:15,700
WE COMMISSIONED A PAINTER TO

1286
00:35:15,766 --> 00:35:18,266
CREATE THIS GORGEOUS OIL

1287
00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:19,466
PAINTING OF A BLUE-WINGED TEAL

1288
00:35:19,533 --> 00:35:21,866
FLYING IN THE NINTENDO GAME

1289
00:35:21,933 --> 00:35:28,033
"DUCK HUNT," MEETING THEIR

1290
00:35:28,100 --> 00:35:30,900
RIDICULOUS HUNTING REQUIREMENT.

1291
00:35:30,966 --> 00:35:31,466
THIS IS A REAL PAINTING THAT

1292
00:35:31,533 --> 00:35:32,933
TOOK MONTHS OF WORK.

1293
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,566
BUT I'M SORRY TO SAY, IT WAS

1294
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:35,600
DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE OF, AND I

1295
00:35:35,666 --> 00:35:36,600
QUOTE, "THE RULE AGAINST HAVING

1296
00:35:36,666 --> 00:35:37,266
ANY NUMBERS OR LETTERING ON THE

1297
00:35:37,333 --> 00:35:37,633
ENTRY."

1298
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:39,000
WHICH IS A RIDICULOUS

1299
00:35:39,066 --> 00:35:40,500
REQUIREMENT.

1300
00:35:40,566 --> 00:35:41,833
IT'S LIKE IF THEY SAID, "NO DUCK

1301
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:46,633
STAMP IS ALLOWED TO FEATURE CANS

1302
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:48,900
OF SPAGHETTIOS OR PAUL SORVINO."

1303
00:35:48,966 --> 00:35:50,266
WHAT HAPPENED IN PAST CONTESTS

1304
00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:53,700
THAT PROMPTED THAT REGULATION?

1305
00:35:53,766 --> 00:35:54,733
SO THAT IS THE BAD NEWS.

1306
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:55,333
THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE ACTUALLY

1307
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,033
HAD A SECOND ENTRY.

1308
00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:59,866
SPECIFICALLY, THIS PAINTING OF

1309
00:35:59,933 --> 00:36:00,500
DUCKS JUDGING THE DUCK STAMP ART

1310
00:36:00,566 --> 00:36:01,933
CONTEST.

1311
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,566
UNFORTUNATELY, WE FELL VICTIM TO

1312
00:36:03,633 --> 00:36:06,400
THE SAME BULLSHIT NUMBER RULE,

1313
00:36:06,466 --> 00:36:10,533
AND THIS WAS DISQUALIFIED TOO.

1314
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,100
SO YOU CAN PROBABLY IMAGINE JUST

1315
00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:13,733
HOW RELIEVED WE WERE TO SUDDENLY

1316
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,233
REMEMBER THAT WE'D ACTUALLY

1317
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,466
ENTERED THREE OTHER PAINTINGS,

1318
00:36:16,533 --> 00:36:18,533
ALL OF WHICH, I'M HAPPY TO SAY,

1319
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:19,166
DID QUALIFY FOR THIS WEEKEND'S

1320
00:36:19,233 --> 00:36:23,166
CONTEST.

1321
00:36:23,233 --> 00:36:24,300
SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THEM.

1322
00:36:24,366 --> 00:36:24,866
FIRST, THERE'S THIS ONE OF A

1323
00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:25,933
REDHEAD DUCK HUNTING A HUNTER

1324
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,833
HUNTING ANOTHER DUCK.

1325
00:36:27,900 --> 00:36:29,300
HOLD THE OMINOUS, QUIETLY

1326
00:36:29,366 --> 00:36:30,766
MANIACAL LOOK IN THAT DUCK'S EYE

1327
00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:32,600
AS HE'S ABOUT TO PULL THE

1328
00:36:32,666 --> 00:36:32,966
TRIGGER.

1329
00:36:33,033 --> 00:36:34,266
IT'S A HAUNTING YET TRIUMPHANT

1330
00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:36,566
IMAGE.

1331
00:36:36,633 --> 00:36:37,633
SO LET'S SEE IF THE DUCK STAMP

1332
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:38,133
JUDGES LIKED IT:

1333
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,666
>> PLEASE VOTE.

1334
00:36:41,733 --> 00:36:42,933
>> IT'S OUT.

1335
00:36:43,033 --> 00:36:45,400
>> John: ARE YOU FUCKING

1336
00:36:45,466 --> 00:36:46,400
KIDDING ME?

1337
00:36:46,466 --> 00:36:47,133
NOT ONE OF YOU JUDGES VOTED FOR

1338
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:53,833
THAT?

1339
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:54,433
RIDICULOUS.

1340
00:36:54,500 --> 00:36:55,500
JUST RIDICULOUS.

1341
00:36:55,566 --> 00:36:56,433
ALL FIVE OF YOU SHOULD BE

1342
00:36:56,500 --> 00:36:56,900
ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

1343
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:57,300
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

1344
00:36:57,366 --> 00:36:59,300
FINE.

1345
00:36:59,366 --> 00:37:00,400
BECAUSE REMEMBER, WE STILL HAD

1346
00:37:00,466 --> 00:37:00,700
TWO OTHERS.

1347
00:37:00,766 --> 00:37:02,233
NEXT UP WAS THIS ENTRY,

1348
00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:05,100
"DUCK WITH A PEARL EARRING."

1349
00:37:05,166 --> 00:37:05,700
WHICH I WOULD ARGUE IS

1350
00:37:05,766 --> 00:37:06,033
EXQUISITE.

1351
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:12,066
IT MAKES THE ORIGINAL VERMEER

1352
00:37:12,133 --> 00:37:13,266
LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE PILE OF

1353
00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:13,566
SHIT.

1354
00:37:13,633 --> 00:37:14,866
THAT GIRL DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY

1355
00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:16,766
FEATHERS.

1356
00:37:16,833 --> 00:37:18,400
OR A BEAK FOR THAT MATTER.

1357
00:37:18,466 --> 00:37:18,866
WHAT A WASTE OF PAINT.

1358
00:37:18,933 --> 00:37:19,466
SO SURELY, SURELY, THE JUDGES

1359
00:37:19,533 --> 00:37:20,633
LOVED THIS ONE.

1360
00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,600
>> PLEASE VOTE.

1361
00:37:22,666 --> 00:37:26,933
IT'S OUT.

1362
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,866
>> John: OH, COME ON!

1363
00:37:28,933 --> 00:37:29,500
THESE JUDGES ARE FUCKING CLOWNS.

1364
00:37:29,566 --> 00:37:30,766
THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ART,

1365
00:37:30,833 --> 00:37:31,300
THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT

1366
00:37:31,366 --> 00:37:32,266
DUCKS, AND THEY CERTAINLY DON'T

1367
00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:35,533
KNOW SHIT ABOUT DUCK ART.

1368
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,366
AND, LOOK, I'M NOT ALONE IN

1369
00:37:39,433 --> 00:37:40,300
BEING SHOCKED BY THIS.

1370
00:37:40,366 --> 00:37:43,666
THE PEOPLE WATCHING THE

1371
00:37:43,733 --> 00:37:44,266
CONTEST'S LIVESTREAM WERE VERY

1372
00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:45,100
INTO THIS ENTRY, WRITING

1373
00:37:45,166 --> 00:37:45,633
"GORGEOUS.

1374
00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:46,400
PERFECT.

1375
00:37:46,466 --> 00:37:47,200
STUNNING."

1376
00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:48,433
"Y-A-A-AAAS."

1377
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:49,100
AND "I WANT THAT ON MY WALL."

1378
00:37:49,166 --> 00:37:50,100
AND OF COURSE THEY DO.

1379
00:37:50,166 --> 00:37:55,600
WHAT CULTURED DUCK ART LOVER

1380
00:37:55,666 --> 00:37:56,400
WOULD NOT WANT THAT?

1381
00:37:56,466 --> 00:37:57,200
SO AT THIS POINT, WE WERE

1382
00:37:57,266 --> 00:37:57,700
GETTING A BIT NERVOUS.

1383
00:37:57,766 --> 00:37:58,433
LUCKILY, OUR FINAL PAINTING WAS

1384
00:37:58,500 --> 00:37:59,233
GUARANTEED TO BLOW EVERYONE

1385
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:01,766
AWAY.

1386
00:38:01,833 --> 00:38:03,300
BECAUSE IT IS THIS MASTERPIECE

1387
00:38:03,366 --> 00:38:03,933
DEPICTING A GIANT DUCK BROKERING

1388
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,066
PEACE BETWEEN LONGTIME DUCK ART

1389
00:38:05,133 --> 00:38:05,666
RIVALS TIM TAYLOR AND

1390
00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:07,266
ROB McBROOM.

1391
00:38:07,333 --> 00:38:09,566
NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND

1392
00:38:09,633 --> 00:38:10,533
WOULDN'T PUT THIS THROUGH, AT

1393
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,500
LEAST TO THE SECOND ROUND.

1394
00:38:14,566 --> 00:38:15,733
RIGHT?

1395
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,566
SO JUDGES, IT'S OVER TO YOU.

1396
00:38:16,633 --> 00:38:19,033
>> PLEASE VOTE.

1397
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:21,033
IT'S OUT.

1398
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:26,566
>> John: FUCK YOURSELVES

1399
00:38:26,633 --> 00:38:27,000
STRAIGHT TO HELL!

1400
00:38:27,066 --> 00:38:29,400
I'M SORRY, THE FEDERAL DUCK

1401
00:38:29,466 --> 00:38:30,866
STAMP CONTEST JUST LOST ALL OF

1402
00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:32,933
ITS INTEGRITY.

1403
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,133
ALTHOUGH, I ADMIT, THE JUDGES

1404
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:34,766
WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO DIDN'T

1405
00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:35,166
CARE FOR IT.

1406
00:38:35,233 --> 00:38:36,300
TIM TAYLOR HIMSELF ACTUALLY

1407
00:38:36,366 --> 00:38:36,933
REPLIED TO THAT PAINTING IN THE

1408
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,066
CHAT WITH, "I DON'T KNOW WHY

1409
00:38:38,133 --> 00:38:39,633
ANYONE PAINTED THAT."

1410
00:38:39,700 --> 00:38:40,300
REALLY, TIM?

1411
00:38:40,366 --> 00:38:41,400
YOU DON'T?

1412
00:38:41,466 --> 00:38:42,433
I KNOW WHY SOMEONE WOULD PAINT

1413
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:43,333
THAT.

1414
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:44,400
IT'S BECAUSE, ONE, WE PAID THEM

1415
00:38:44,466 --> 00:38:45,333
TO, AND TWO, IT'S FUCKING

1416
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,133
AWESOME.

1417
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,900
THAT'S WHY.

1418
00:38:49,966 --> 00:38:50,833
SO SADLY, NONE OF OUR ENTRIES

1419
00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:52,000
MADE IT PAST THE FIRST ROUND OF

1420
00:38:52,066 --> 00:38:53,033
VOTING, AND EVENTUALLY, THE

1421
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:54,533
PRIZE WENT TO THIS ENTRY:

1422
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,533
>> AND NOW FOR THE WINNER OF THE

1423
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,900
2022-'23 DUCK STAMP CONTEST,

1424
00:38:59,966 --> 00:39:02,533
WITH A PAINTING OF A REDHEAD,

1425
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,633
MR. JIM HAUTMAN FROM CHASKA,

1426
00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:06,300
MINNESOTA.

1427
00:39:06,366 --> 00:39:10,433
THIS IS HIS SIXTH WIN.

1428
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:16,566
[APPLAUSE]

1429
00:39:16,633 --> 00:39:17,366
>> John: GET THE FUCK O--

1430
00:39:17,433 --> 00:39:18,166
Y'KNOW WHAT, I HAVE TO SAY:

1431
00:39:18,233 --> 00:39:18,800
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL DUCK

1432
00:39:18,866 --> 00:39:19,566
PAINTING.

1433
00:39:19,633 --> 00:39:20,500
I KIND OF GET WHY THE HAUTMAN

1434
00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:21,033
BROTHERS KEEP WINNING.

1435
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:22,433
THAT SAID, I DO STILL PREFER OUR

1436
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:22,800
"DUCK HUNT" ONE.

1437
00:39:22,866 --> 00:39:23,366
IT'S FUNNIER AND BETTER AND

1438
00:39:23,433 --> 00:39:25,766
WOULD HAVE BEEN A COOLER STAMP.

1439
00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:27,133
BUT LOOK, I'M OBVIOUSLY

1440
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,800
DISAPPOINTED THAT WE NOT ONLY

1441
00:39:29,866 --> 00:39:31,233
DIDN'T WIN THE DUCK STAMP ART

1442
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:32,733
CONTEST, WE DIDN'T EVEN GET A

1443
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,666
SINGLE VOTE FROM ANY JUDGE,

1444
00:39:36,733 --> 00:39:38,000
AL THOUGH I THINK THAT SAYS MORE

1445
00:39:38,066 --> 00:39:38,600
ABOUT THEM THAN IT DOES ABOUT

1446
00:39:38,666 --> 00:39:39,100
OUR PAINTINGS.

1447
00:39:39,166 --> 00:39:39,766
BECAUSE IF ANY OF OURS HAD WON,

1448
00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:40,466
THEY COULD'VE HELPED RAISE A

1449
00:39:40,533 --> 00:39:41,166
BUNCH OF MONEY FOR A VERY GOOD

1450
00:39:41,233 --> 00:39:42,000
CAUSE.

1451
00:39:42,066 --> 00:39:43,000
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS, THEY

1452
00:39:43,066 --> 00:39:45,933
ACTUALLY STILL CAN.

1453
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,033
PLEASE COME WITH ME.

1454
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:52,066
♪ ♪

1455
00:39:52,133 --> 00:39:52,666
BECAUSE I'M PROUD TO SAY THAT

1456
00:39:52,733 --> 00:39:53,733
WE'VE DECIDED TO AUCTION

1457
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,633
OFF EACH OF THESE ABSOLUTE

1458
00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:56,433
MASTERPIECES WITH 100% OF

1459
00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:57,400
PROCEEDS GOING TO THE FEDERAL

1460
00:39:57,466 --> 00:39:58,100
DUCK STAMP PROGRAM.

1461
00:39:58,166 --> 00:40:00,366
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

1462
00:40:00,433 --> 00:40:01,566
THAT MEANS YOU -- YES, YOU! --

1463
00:40:01,633 --> 00:40:03,000
HAVE THE CHANCE TO HANG ANY OF

1464
00:40:03,066 --> 00:40:04,100
THESE ORIGINALS IN YOUR OWN

1465
00:40:04,166 --> 00:40:05,466
HOME.

1466
00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:07,333
YOU COULD GET RID OF YOUR STUPID

1467
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:12,000
FAMILY PORTRAIT AND REPLACE IT

1468
00:40:12,066 --> 00:40:12,666
WITH SOMETHING MUCH, MUCH

1469
00:40:12,733 --> 00:40:13,600
BETTER.

1470
00:40:13,666 --> 00:40:14,833
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO TO

1471
00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:15,733
BestDuckingStamps.com AND

1472
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,266
BID ON WHICHEVER PIECE SPEAKS TO

1473
00:40:17,333 --> 00:40:17,766
YOU THE MOST.

1474
00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:19,933
YOU CAN BID UNTIL FRIDAY AT

1475
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,300
10:30 P.M.

1476
00:40:21,366 --> 00:40:23,366
AND I'M PROUD TO SAY, LADIES AND

1477
00:40:23,433 --> 00:40:24,366
GENTLEMEN, THE BIDDING STARTS

1478
00:40:24,433 --> 00:40:25,433
NOW!

1479
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:28,733
[GAVEL BANGS]

1480
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,866
THAT IS OUR SHOW, THANK YOU SO

1481
00:40:30,933 --> 00:40:33,933
MUCH FOR WATCHING,

1482
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:34,833
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

1483
00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:38,500
GOOD NIGHT!

1484
00:40:38,566 --> 00:40:38,700
♪ ♪

1485
00:40:38,766 --> 00:40:41,700
[DUCK CALL]

1486
00:40:41,766 --> 00:40:47,033
♪ ♪

1487
00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:51,966
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]