1 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:15,233 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:21,633 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:29,300 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:29,366 --> 00:00:31,700 >> John: HI THERE, WELCOME TO 5 00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,933 THE SHOW, STILL TAKING PLACE, 6 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:34,633 BUT FOR THE LAST TIME, IN THIS 7 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:37,066 BLANK VOID. 8 00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:37,766 >> GOD, THAT FEELS GREAT TO 9 00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:38,966 HEAR. 10 00:00:39,033 --> 00:00:41,333 THIS MUST BE HOW ENGLAND FELT 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,900 WHEN THEY GOT RID OF YOU. 12 00:00:43,966 --> 00:00:45,600 >> John: UH, EXCUSE ME, THEY 13 00:00:45,666 --> 00:00:46,233 DIDN'T GET RID OF ME, I CHOSE TO 14 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:46,633 LEAVE. 15 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:49,566 >> "CHOSE." 16 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,600 OKAY, SURE, LET'S GO WITH THAT. 17 00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:51,166 HAS ANYONE ASKED YOU TO COME 18 00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:51,666 BACK? 19 00:00:51,733 --> 00:00:55,300 LIKE, ANYONE? 20 00:00:55,366 --> 00:00:56,666 >> John: THAT'S A FAIR POINT. 21 00:00:56,733 --> 00:00:57,866 IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK. 22 00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,600 A BOMB THREAT IN WASHINGTON, 23 00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:02,700 DEMOTED FROM HOST IN JEOPARDY TO 24 00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:04,266 RUNNING IT, AND THEN THE LATEST 25 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:05,200 INNOVATION. 26 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,433 >> WORK ROOMS IS USED ON 27 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,566 FACEBOOK'S OCULUS QUEST 2 28 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,333 VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSETS. 29 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,300 >> THIS IS MY FIRST VIRTUAL 30 00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:14,000 REALITY INTERVIEW. 31 00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:14,833 HOW ABOUT YOU? 32 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:15,900 >> MINE TOO. 33 00:01:15,966 --> 00:01:16,500 MY FIRST VIRTUAL REALITY 34 00:01:16,566 --> 00:01:17,600 INTERVIEW TOO. 35 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:18,533 >> John: WELL, THAT'S THE 36 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,966 STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. 37 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:20,866 DO YOU LIKE ZOOM MEETINGS? 38 00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:21,733 NO? 39 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:22,766 WELL, THIS IS LIKE THAT, EXCEPT 40 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,666 YOU GET TO WEAR A HELMET AND 41 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:26,066 YOUR COWORKERS ARE GLITCHY SIMS. 42 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,100 IT'S ANOTHER GAME-CHANGING HIT 43 00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:30,366 FROM THE GUY WHO BROUGHT YOU 44 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:31,866 "EVERYONE YOU WENT TO 45 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:32,733 HIGH SCHOOL WITH IS Q-ANON NOW." 46 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,800 BUT INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON THAT, 47 00:01:33,866 --> 00:01:34,866 LET'S DIVE STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR 48 00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:36,633 MAIN STORY TONIGHT: AFGHANISTAN. 49 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:38,266 AMERICA'S WAR THERE IS DRAWING 50 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:39,033 TO A CLOSE AFTER ALMOST 20 YEARS 51 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,300 OF FIGHTING. 52 00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:41,600 WE ALL KNEW THE END WAS LIKELY 53 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,533 TO BE UGLY. 54 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,900 THE ONLY QUESTION WAS 55 00:01:44,966 --> 00:01:45,633 "HOW UGLY?" 56 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:46,666 WELL, THIS WEEK, WE GOT OUR 57 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:47,766 ANSWER. 58 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,000 >> AFGHANS ARE THRONGING TO 59 00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:50,133 KABUL'S AIRPORT. 60 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,500 >> THIS IS WHAT DESPERATION 61 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:52,500 LOOKS LIKE. 62 00:01:52,566 --> 00:01:53,800 >> WE NOW KNOW THAT AT LEAST ONE 63 00:01:53,866 --> 00:01:54,966 OF THE AMERICAN TRANSPORTS TOOK 64 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,866 OFF WITH A PAYLOAD FAR IN EXCESS 65 00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:59,900 OF THE MAXIMUM RECOMMENDED. 66 00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:03,166 >> 800 PEOPLE ON YOUR JET? 67 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:04,266 HOLY COW. 68 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,333 I MEAN, GOOD JOB GETTING OFF THE 69 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,366 GROUND. 70 00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:08,200 >> John: HOLY SHIT. 71 00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:09,566 THAT IS TERRIFYING. 72 00:02:09,633 --> 00:02:11,000 YOU NEVER, EVER WANT TO BE ON A 73 00:02:11,066 --> 00:02:12,200 PLANE THAT IS MANAGING TO 74 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,666 ACTIVELY IMPRESS AIR TRAFFIC 75 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,200 CONTROL. 76 00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:16,766 ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, THAT IS THE 77 00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:17,533 EXACT REACTION I WANT EVERY TIME 78 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,466 I DO A SINGLE PUSH-UP. 79 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:19,400 "HOLY COW. 80 00:02:19,466 --> 00:02:20,666 I MEAN, GOOD JOB GETTING OFF THE 81 00:02:20,733 --> 00:02:21,033 GROUND. 82 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,266 NO ONE COULD'VE EXPECTED 83 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,233 ANYTHING MORE FROM YOU." 84 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,766 AND THE THING IS, THAT IS JUST 85 00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:26,700 THE PEOPLE THAT MANAGED TO GET 86 00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:27,966 ONTO THE PLANE. 87 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,633 THERE WERE HORRIFIC VIDEOS THAT 88 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:30,900 WE ARE NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU OF 89 00:02:30,966 --> 00:02:32,166 PEOPLE CLINGING TO THE WHEELS OF 90 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,533 A PLANE AND FALLING TO THEIR 91 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,533 DEATH AS THEY TOOK OFF. 92 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,200 AND WHILE BIDEN INSISTED THAT 93 00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,200 "WE PLANNED FOR EVERY 94 00:02:39,266 --> 00:02:41,200 CONTINGENCY," THAT IS PRETTY 95 00:02:41,266 --> 00:02:42,500 HARD TO BELIEVE GIVEN, JUST TEN 96 00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:43,666 DAYS AGO, THE U.S. WAS 97 00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:44,400 DESPERATELY TRYING TO NEGOTIATE 98 00:02:44,466 --> 00:02:45,666 WITH THE TALIBAN, ASKING IT TO 99 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:46,600 SPARE OUR EMBASSY IN KABUL. 100 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,966 A DAY LATER, THAT EMBASSY WAS 101 00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,166 TOLD TO DESTROY SENSITIVE FILES, 102 00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,533 AND BY THIS TIME LAST WEEK, WE 103 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,433 WERE EVACUATING IT ALTOGETHER. 104 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,200 ALTHOUGH THE SECRETARY OF STATE 105 00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:56,533 PUSHED BACK ON THE IDEA THAT THE 106 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:57,600 EMBASSY WAS CLOSED AT ALL. 107 00:02:57,666 --> 00:02:58,266 >> SO, IF NO AMERICAN IS IN THE 108 00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:59,266 EMBASSY, WE'VE ESSENTIALLY 109 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:00,433 CLOSED THE EMBASSY. 110 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,266 IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T WANNA 111 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,066 SAY THAT. 112 00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:02,566 YEAH. 113 00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:03,633 >> NO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A -- 114 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:04,300 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A -- WE'RE 115 00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:04,900 GONNA HAVE OUR CORE DIPLOMATIC 116 00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:05,233 PRESENCE. 117 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,033 >> WE WILL? 118 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:06,900 >> AND -- AND, IN EFFECT, AN 119 00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:07,566 EMBASSY AT A LOCATION AT THE 120 00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:08,800 AIRPORT. 121 00:03:08,866 --> 00:03:10,266 >> John: WOW, THAT IS A ROUGH 122 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,433 SENTENCE. 123 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,600 BECAUSE "WE'LL HAVE, IN EFFECT, 124 00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:15,333 AN EMBASSY" IS ALREADY PRETTY 125 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,833 ALARMING, THEN YOU FINISH IT OFF 126 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,133 WITH "AT A LOCATION AT THE 127 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,733 AIRPORT," PERHAPS THE DARKEST 128 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,066 QUALIFIER IN THE ENGLISH 129 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:22,233 LANGUAGE. 130 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,133 BECAUSE, TO STATE THE OBVIOUS 131 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,933 HERE, AN EMBASSY DOES NOT BELONG 132 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,433 IN AN AIRPORT, BECAUSE IT'S NOT 133 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,933 A FUCKING WOLFGANG PUCK 134 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,700 RESTAURANT. 135 00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:33,033 AND THE FACT IS, AMERICA HAS NOW 136 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,433 JOINED A LONG LINE OF COUNTRIES 137 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,400 WHO CAME TO AFGHANISTAN TO SERVE 138 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,166 THEIR OWN INTERESTS ONLY TO 139 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:38,633 LEAVE DEFEATED. 140 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,700 IT'S A PATTERN SO UNIVERSALLY 141 00:03:40,766 --> 00:03:42,166 KNOWN IT WAS LITERALLY A PLOT 142 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,233 POINT IN "RAMBO III." 143 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,633 >> THIS IS AFGHANISTAN. 144 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,033 ALEXANDER THE GREAT TRIED TO 145 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,533 CONQUER THIS COUNTRY. 146 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,900 THEN GENGHIS KHAN, THEN THE 147 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,266 BRITISH, NOW RUSSIA. 148 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,866 ANCIENT ENEMY MAKE PRAYER ABOUT 149 00:03:54,933 --> 00:03:56,733 THESE PEOPLE. 150 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,533 IT SAYS "MAY GOD DELIVER US FROM 151 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,533 THE VENOM OF THE COBRA, THE 152 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,166 TEETH OF THE TIGER, AND THE 153 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:06,233 VENGEANCE OF THE AFGHANS." 154 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,533 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS? 155 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,166 >> THAT YOU GUYS DON'T TAKE ANY 156 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,433 SHIT? 157 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,066 >> YES. 158 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,066 SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 159 00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,500 >> John: YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE 160 00:04:17,566 --> 00:04:18,566 IT, ALTHOUGH IT FEELS LIKE 161 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,766 OL' RAMBO COULD HAVE USED A FEW 162 00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:21,100 MORE FOLLOW-UPS THERE. 163 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:21,966 "YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS, 164 00:04:22,033 --> 00:04:25,300 RIGHT?" 165 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,066 "YEAH, YOU GUYS DON'T TAKE ANY 166 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,566 SHIT." 167 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:28,500 "SURE, BUT ALSO THAT OUR 168 00:04:28,566 --> 00:04:29,200 POLITICAL SYSTEM HAS LONG BEEN 169 00:04:29,266 --> 00:04:30,166 DEFINED BY OTHER COUNTRIES' 170 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:31,700 IMPERIAL SELF-INTEREST. 171 00:04:31,766 --> 00:04:32,500 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS?" 172 00:04:32,566 --> 00:04:33,800 "NO. 173 00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:36,333 NO, I DON'T." 174 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,166 "YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK SO. 175 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? 176 00:04:38,066 --> 00:04:38,866 I'M GUESSING WE'LL BE SEEING YOU 177 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,800 GUYS IN ROUGHLY 15 YEARS." 178 00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:41,833 AND LOOK, CLEARLY, WE DON'T HAVE 179 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:47,533 TIME TO RECAP THE LAST 20 YEARS 180 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,000 OF AMERICA'S INVOLVEMENT IN 181 00:04:50,066 --> 00:04:51,366 AFGHANISTAN, MUCH LESS RECKON 182 00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:51,833 WITH ALL THE LONG-TERM 183 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:52,200 CONSEQUENCES. 184 00:04:52,266 --> 00:04:53,066 BUT WE THOUGHT TONIGHT, IN THE 185 00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:53,900 WAKE OF THE CHAOS THIS WEEK, 186 00:04:53,966 --> 00:04:54,566 IT'D BE WORTH TRYING TO ANSWER A 187 00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:55,233 FEW BASIC QUESTIONS: WHY WERE WE 188 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:56,133 IN AFGHANISTAN IN THE FIRST 189 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,300 PLACE, WHAT DID WE DO WHILE WE 190 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,166 WERE THERE, AND WHAT ARE WE 191 00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:01,733 DOING RIGHT NOW? 192 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,433 AND LET'S START WITH WHY WE WERE 193 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,100 THERE. 194 00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:04,100 BECAUSE ON MONDAY, BIDEN OFFERED 195 00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,233 THIS ORIGIN STORY: 196 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,400 >> WE WENT TO AFGHANISTAN ALMOST 197 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:09,933 20 YEARS AGO WITH CLEAR GOALS: 198 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,900 GET THOSE WHO ATTACKED US ON 199 00:05:11,966 --> 00:05:15,600 SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, AND MAKE 200 00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,100 SURE AL-QAEDA COULD NOT USE 201 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:18,300 AFGHANISTAN AS A BASE FROM WHICH 202 00:05:18,366 --> 00:05:19,800 TO ATTACK US AGAIN. 203 00:05:19,866 --> 00:05:21,566 OUR MISSION IN AFGHANISTAN WAS 204 00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:22,166 NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN 205 00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:23,833 NATION-BUILDING. 206 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,000 >> John: OH, OKAY THEN. 207 00:05:25,066 --> 00:05:26,300 IF OUR MISSION WAS NEVER 208 00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:27,733 NATION-BUILDING, THEN I GUESS 209 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,133 NOT-MISSION NOT-ACCOMPLISHED. 210 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,433 BUT THE THING IS, THAT'S A 211 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,500 LITTLE TRUE BUT ALSO A LOT NOT. 212 00:05:34,566 --> 00:05:35,566 BECAUSE, YES, THE PRIMARY REASON 213 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,200 FOR INITIALLY INVADING 214 00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:39,200 AFGHANISTAN WAS 9/11 AND THE 215 00:05:39,266 --> 00:05:40,300 FACT THAT THE TALIBAN HAD BEEN 216 00:05:40,366 --> 00:05:42,033 GIVING SAFE HAVEN TO BIN LADEN. 217 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:42,900 BUT VERY QUICKLY, THAT MISSION 218 00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,066 BECAME DRESSED UP IN THE 219 00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:45,466 LANGUAGE OF NATION-BUILDING AND 220 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:47,500 HUMAN RIGHTS. 221 00:05:47,566 --> 00:05:49,233 GEORGE W. BUSH SAID, "ROOTING 222 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,700 OUT THE TALIBAN WAS IMPORTANT, 223 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,433 BUT BUILDING A SCHOOL IS EQUALLY 224 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,933 IMPORTANT," AND BIDEN HIMSELF 225 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,466 SAID BACK THEN, "THE ALTERNATIVE 226 00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:58,566 TO NATION-BUILDING IS CHAOS." 227 00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:00,166 AND THERE WAS LOTS OF FOCUS AT 228 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,433 THE TIME ON ATROCITIES THE 229 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,600 TALIBAN HAD COMMITTED DURING 230 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,600 THEIR FIVE YEARS OF REPRESSIVE 231 00:06:03,666 --> 00:06:05,100 RULE -- THE SUBJUGATION OF 232 00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,133 WOMEN, THE EXECUTIONS IN A 233 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,300 SOCCER STADIUM, THE DESTRUCTION 234 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:08,566 OF THE FAMOUS BUDDHAS OF 235 00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:10,166 BAMIYAN, ALL OF WHICH WERE 236 00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:11,800 TERRIBLE, BUT WHICH HAD BEEN 237 00:06:11,866 --> 00:06:13,666 EQUALLY TERRIBLE BEFORE 238 00:06:13,733 --> 00:06:15,433 SEPTEMBER 11TH, AND WE HADN'T 239 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,633 DONE MUCH ABOUT IT. 240 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:20,000 THE TRUTH IS, BETWEEN A 241 00:06:20,066 --> 00:06:22,266 POST-9/11 DESIRE FOR VENGEANCE 242 00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,233 AND THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION 243 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,600 FRAMING INTERVENTION AS A 244 00:06:25,666 --> 00:06:27,400 "CRUSADE" FOR HUMAN RIGHTS, THEY 245 00:06:27,466 --> 00:06:29,066 BUILT A NEAR-UNIVERSAL POLITICAL 246 00:06:29,133 --> 00:06:30,566 CONSENSUS. 247 00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:32,433 ONLY ONE MEMBER OF CONGRESS, 248 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,100 REPRESENTATIVE BARBARA LEE, 249 00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:35,333 VOTED AGAINST THE AUTHORIZATION 250 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,866 OF MILITARY FORCE. 251 00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,200 OTHER DEMOCRATS JUMPED TO 252 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,766 CO-SIGN THE HUMAN RIGHTS 253 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,166 ARGUMENT, LIKE REPRESENTATIVE 254 00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,166 CAROLYN MALONEY, WHO DELIVERED A 255 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,766 SPEECH ON THE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE 256 00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:46,266 ABOUT THE NEED TO COMBAT TALIBAN 257 00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,033 REPRESSIONS, FEATURING A 258 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,933 STRIKING VISUAL AID. 259 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,433 >> I SALUTE THE BUSH 260 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,933 ADMINISTRATION FOR BALANCING WAR 261 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,566 WITH COMPASSION. 262 00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:55,166 FOR DROPPING FOOD AS WELL AS 263 00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,000 BOMBS. 264 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,933 EVEN IN WAR, WE ARE SHOWING A 265 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,433 REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE AND 266 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,133 HUMAN RIGHTS THAT THE TALIBAN 267 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,100 WILL NEVER KNOW. 268 00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:08,933 >> John: OKAY, FIRST, IT DOESN'T 269 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,533 GET MUCH MORE "THE MONTH AFTER 270 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,333 9/11" THAN A WHITE DEMOCRAT IN A 271 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,900 "FUCK YOU" BURQA SALUTING THE 272 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,166 BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S COMMITMENT 273 00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:19,500 TO HUMAN RIGHTS. 274 00:07:19,566 --> 00:07:21,300 AND THE PROBLEM THERE IS, YOU 275 00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:24,333 COULD BE REVEALING THE SOLUTION 276 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,366 FOR WORLD HUNGER, BUT IF YOU'RE 277 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:27,866 A WHITE LADY WHO THREW ON A 278 00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:29,600 BURQA FOR THE DRAMA, YOU'RE 279 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,200 FUNDAMENTALLY DISTRACTING FROM 280 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:30,666 YOUR POINT. 281 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:31,833 AS FOR "WE DROPPED FOOD AS WELL 282 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:32,433 AS BOMBS," THOSE TWO DO NOT 283 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,233 CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT. 284 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,366 AND WE DROPPED A LOT OF THE 285 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:37,500 SECOND. 286 00:07:37,566 --> 00:07:39,466 OVER 71,000 AFGHAN AND PAKISTANI 287 00:07:39,533 --> 00:07:41,100 CIVILIANS ARE ESTIMATED TO HAVE 288 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,800 DIED AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE 289 00:07:42,866 --> 00:07:44,033 WAR, WITH MANY MORE INJURED OR 290 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,833 DISPLACED. 291 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,366 AS FOR OUR PROGRAM OF DRONE 292 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,100 STRIKES, THEY DIDN'T JUST KILL 293 00:07:49,166 --> 00:07:50,300 CIVILIANS -- THEY TRAUMATIZED AN 294 00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:52,533 ENTIRE GENERATION. 295 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,666 >> THE VILLAGERS CALL THEM 296 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,066 PLANES WITHOUT MEN. 297 00:07:55,133 --> 00:07:59,266 SHEZ AMAN SAYS HIS 298 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,200 NINE-YEAR-OLD SON, SULEIMAN, WAS 299 00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:01,266 KILLED BY A DRONE THREE MONTHS 300 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:01,966 AGO, ALONG WITH THE FATHERS OF 301 00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:04,300 ALL OF THESE CHILDREN. 302 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,500 >> I'M SCARED THEY'LL BOMB US. 303 00:08:07,566 --> 00:08:08,566 THEY KILLED MY FATHER AND I'M 304 00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,166 AFRAID THEY'LL BOMB US TOO. 305 00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,233 >> I CAN'T WALK OUTSIDE MY HOME 306 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,366 BECAUSE I'M SCARED. 307 00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:14,266 I'M EVEN SCARED AT HOME. 308 00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,233 >> John: YEAH, IT'S TERRIBLE. 309 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,400 SO IF CAROLYN MALONEY WANTS TO 310 00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:19,766 ILLUSTRATE "ALL" THE MAJOR 311 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,333 THREATS AFGHAN SOCIETY'S FACED 312 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,433 IN RECENT YEARS, SHE MAY WANT TO 313 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,266 DELIVER HER NEXT SPEECH DRESSED 314 00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:26,433 LIKE A FUCKING DRONE. 315 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,033 AND THOSE STRIKES ARE JUST ONE 316 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,000 PART OF THE ANSWER TO OUR SECOND 317 00:08:29,066 --> 00:08:30,033 QUESTION, WHICH IS, 318 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,500 "WHAT EXACTLY DID WE DO IN 319 00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:32,766 AFGHANISTAN?" 320 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,166 BECAUSE THE U.S. CAME IN WITH 321 00:08:34,233 --> 00:08:35,833 BIG PLANS, PROMISING TO SET UP A 322 00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:39,933 MODERN, CENTRALIZED DEMOCRACY. 323 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:40,500 AND YET, INSTEAD OF ENGAGING 324 00:08:40,566 --> 00:08:41,366 WITH AND UNDERSTANDING THE 325 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,500 COUNTRY'S COMPLEX LOCAL 326 00:08:42,566 --> 00:08:44,166 POLITICAL POWERS, WE ADOPTED A 327 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,666 POLICY OF PAYING OFF AND 328 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,333 CO-OPTING LOCAL WARLORDS AND 329 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,666 DRUG TRAFFICKERS, WHICH ERODED 330 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,333 TRUST QUICKLY BETWEEN THE AFGHAN 331 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,633 PEOPLE AND THE BLATANTLY CORRUPT 332 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,400 GOVERNMENT THAT WE HELPED FUEL. 333 00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:57,933 BY 2006, IN THE WORDS OF ONE 334 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,733 RETIRED COLONEL, THE GOVERNMENT 335 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,333 HAD "SELF-ORGANIZED INTO A 336 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,533 KLEPTOCRACY" UNDER WHICH PEOPLE 337 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,000 IN POWER COULD PLUNDER THE 338 00:09:04,066 --> 00:09:05,700 ECONOMY WITHOUT RESTRAINT. 339 00:09:05,766 --> 00:09:11,166 AND YET, SUCCESSIVE 340 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,000 ADMINISTRATIONS KEPT GIVING US 341 00:09:13,066 --> 00:09:14,066 ROSY ASSESSMENTS LIKE THIS: 342 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:14,700 >> THE TALIBAN HAVE BEEN DRIVEN 343 00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:15,600 FROM POWER, AL-QAEDA HAS BEEN 344 00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:16,133 DRIVEN FROM ITS CAMPS, AND 345 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,366 AFGHANISTAN IS FREE. 346 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,766 THAT'S WHY I SAY WE HAVE MADE 347 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:22,200 REMARKABLE PROGRESS. 348 00:09:22,266 --> 00:09:23,833 >> THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN IS 349 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:24,933 ENDING. 350 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,666 AL-QAEDA HAS BEEN DECIMATED. 351 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:29,100 OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD. 352 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:31,766 WE HAVE MADE REAL PROGRESS. 353 00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:32,533 >> WE MAKE A LOT OF PROGRESS IN 354 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,366 AFGHANISTAN. 355 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:35,333 AND WITH TIME, WE'LL HAVE IT 356 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,766 SPINNING LIKE A TOP. 357 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,300 >> John: OH. 358 00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:41,000 OH, YOU WILL, WILL YOU? 359 00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:45,033 BUT I GUESS HE'S TECHNICALLY 360 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:45,333 RIGHT THERE. 361 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:45,833 WE DID LEAVE AFGHANISTAN 362 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:46,466 "SPINNING LIKE A TOP," YOU KNOW, 363 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,300 THOSE THINGS THAT FAMOUSLY SPIN 364 00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:48,400 FOREVER AND NEVER COLLAPSE. 365 00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:49,700 THE FACT IS, THINGS OBVIOUSLY 366 00:09:49,766 --> 00:09:53,866 WEREN'T GOING AS WELL AS ALL 367 00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:56,700 THREE OF THOSE MEN PUBLICLY 368 00:09:56,766 --> 00:09:58,400 CLAIMED, AS WE NOW KNOW -- NOT 369 00:09:58,466 --> 00:09:59,966 LEAST THANKS TO THIS REVELATION 370 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:00,300 TWO YEARS AGO. 371 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:01,300 >> ACCORDING TO MORE THAN 2,000 372 00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:01,933 PAGES OF DOCUMENTS OBTAINED BY 373 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,666 "THE WASHINGTON POST," MILITARY 374 00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:03,600 COMMANDERS, DIPLOMATS, AND AID 375 00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:05,966 WORKERS PRIVATELY AND IN BLUNT 376 00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:07,666 TERMS DESCRIBE AN UNCLEAR 377 00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,866 MISSION, A FAILED STRATEGY AND 378 00:10:09,933 --> 00:10:12,666 EFFORTS TO SWAY PUBLIC OPINION. 379 00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:13,966 AMONG THE REVELATIONS, RETIRED 380 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,500 GENERAL DOUGLAS LUTE, THE AFGHAN 381 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:16,766 WAR CZAR UNDER PRESIDENTS BUSH 382 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,966 AND OBAMA, SAYING IN 2015, 383 00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:21,300 "WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO DO HERE? 384 00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:22,533 WE DIDN'T HAVE THE FOGGIEST 385 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,100 NOTION OF WHAT WE WERE 386 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:24,600 UNDERTAKING." 387 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:25,533 >> John: WOW. 388 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,833 THAT SOUNDS LESS LIKE SOMETHING 389 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,400 YOU'D EXPECT TO HEAR FROM A 390 00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:32,166 GENERAL AND MORE LIKE THE 391 00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:32,566 INTERNAL MONOLOGUE 392 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,366 FOR SIR IAN McKELLEN IN THIS 393 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,066 PHOTO FROM THE SET OF "CATS." 394 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:34,866 "WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO DO HERE? 395 00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:36,100 HAS ANYONE GOT A PLAN FOR WHAT 396 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:36,700 THIS IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE IN 397 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:37,833 THE END? 398 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,566 I HAVEN'T THE FOGGIEST NOTION OF 399 00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:42,366 WHAT WE'RE UNDERTAKING." 400 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,800 THOSE INTERVIEWS WERE COLLECTED 401 00:10:43,866 --> 00:10:45,200 BY SIGAR -- THE SPECIAL 402 00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,566 INSPECTOR GENERAL FOR 403 00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:48,266 AFGHANISTAN RECONSTRUCTION, A 404 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:49,933 GOVERNMENT OFFICE TASKED WITH 405 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,100 PRODUCING HONEST REPORTS ABOUT 406 00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:54,000 HOW THINGS WERE REALLY GOING 407 00:10:54,066 --> 00:10:54,933 THERE, ONE OF WHICH NOTED "THE 408 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,466 U.S. GOVERNMENT'S GOALS WERE 409 00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:58,466 OFTEN OPERATIONALLY IMPRACTICAL 410 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:02,633 OR CONCEPTUALLY INCOHERENT." 411 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:03,700 SIGAR'S MANDATE WAS TO PROMOTE 412 00:11:03,766 --> 00:11:04,833 EFFICIENCY AND PREVENT WASTE, 413 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:05,700 FRAUD, AND ABUSE. 414 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,933 AND I KNOW FOCUSING ON WASTEFUL 415 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,966 SPENDING MAY SEEM LIKE THE 416 00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:10,233 ABSOLUTE LEAST OF THE ISSUES 417 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,966 HERE, BUT SOMETIMES KNOWING 418 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:13,233 EXACTLY WHERE THE MONEY WAS 419 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:15,566 SPENT HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND THE 420 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,400 SCALE OF THE MESS WE'VE LEFT 421 00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:19,800 BEHIND. 422 00:11:19,866 --> 00:11:22,800 BECAUSE SO MUCH MONEY WENT TO 423 00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:24,033 MILITARY CONTRACTORS TO SET UP 424 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,366 PROJECTS WITH NO PLAN FOR HOW 425 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,266 THEY'D SURVIVE AFTER WE WERE 426 00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:27,566 GONE. 427 00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:28,766 HERE'S THE HEAD OF SIGAR 428 00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:29,366 IDENTIFYING ONE EXPENDITURE IN 429 00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:31,700 PARTICULAR. 430 00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:34,066 >> I THINK THE WORST CASE SO FAR 431 00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:38,133 OF JUST STUPID WASTE HAS BEEN 432 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,200 THE PURCHASE OF THE HELICOPTERS 433 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,166 AND AIRPLANES FOR THE AFGHAN AIR 434 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,133 WING. 435 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,700 IT'S CLEARLY RISKING THAT THOSE 436 00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:43,533 PLANES AND THOSE HELICOPTERS ARE 437 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,966 JUST GONNA END UP ON THE TARMAC 438 00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:45,866 RUSTING. 439 00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:48,000 >> THEY CAN'T EVEN USE THE 440 00:11:48,066 --> 00:11:49,700 PLANES THEY CURRENTLY HAVE. 441 00:11:49,766 --> 00:11:51,200 OVER 70% OF THE MAINTENANCE IS 442 00:11:51,266 --> 00:11:53,766 BEING DONE BY U.S. CONTRACTORS, 443 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:55,433 NOT BY THE AFGHANS. 444 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,533 THEY DON'T HAVE THE PILOTS, 445 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:58,366 THEY DON'T HAVE THE GROUND 446 00:11:58,433 --> 00:11:59,366 CREWS, THEY DON'T HAVE THE 447 00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:00,233 WORKERS TO -- 448 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,166 >> SO WHY ARE WE BUYING THEM? 449 00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:04,966 >> THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 450 00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:07,300 >> John: YEAH, IT IS. 451 00:12:07,366 --> 00:12:08,033 THAT CLIP IS FROM SEVEN YEARS 452 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:08,666 AGO, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE, SINCE 453 00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:10,133 THEN, WE'VE FIXED THE UNDERLYING 454 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:10,366 PROBLEM. 455 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:10,966 LAST MONTH, DEFENSE OFFICIALS 456 00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:11,866 WERE MAINTAINING THAT AIRCRAFT 457 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:12,766 COULD STILL BE USED AFTER WE 458 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,633 WERE GONE BECAUSE AFGHANS COULD 459 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:15,966 SIMPLY SERVICE THEM WITH 460 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,166 "U.S. CONTRACTORS LOOKING OVER 461 00:12:17,233 --> 00:12:19,466 THEIR SHOULDERS VIA ZOOM OR 462 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:21,733 COACHING THEM OVER THE PHONE." 463 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:22,833 WHICH IS SO CLOSE TO NOTHING 464 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,500 THAT I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED THE 465 00:12:24,566 --> 00:12:26,566 U.S. DIDN'T JUST BUY EVERY 466 00:12:26,633 --> 00:12:27,566 AFGHAN TECHNICIAN A MASTERCLASS 467 00:12:27,633 --> 00:12:28,766 SUBSCRIPTION AND TELL THEM THAT 468 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:30,166 ANNA WINTOUR'S COURSE WOULD 469 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,733 SUPERCHARGE THEIR CREATIVITY. 470 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,133 AND THAT'S EMBLEMATIC OF OUR 471 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,566 BEHAVIOR IN AFGHANISTAN: WE CAME 472 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:38,500 IN, BUILT SOMETHING ON THE 473 00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:39,366 AMERICAN MODEL, ALMOST WHOLLY 474 00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:40,433 DEPENDENT ON AMERICAN SUPPORT, 475 00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,700 AND PUT NEXT TO NO EFFORT INTO 476 00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:43,033 ENSURING THAT IT WAS SUSTAINABLE 477 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,266 AFTER WE LEFT. 478 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:47,000 TAKE THE GOVERNMENT ITSELF. 479 00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,366 FOREIGN GRANTS FINANCED AROUND 480 00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:51,000 75% OF ITS PUBLIC SPENDING, 481 00:12:51,066 --> 00:12:52,666 MEANING THAT, AS THE TALIBAN 482 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,266 TAKES OVER, THAT MONEY 483 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:56,233 PRESUMABLY DRIES UP, AND THE 484 00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,800 ECONOMY IS NOW POISED TO 485 00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:00,600 COLLAPSE. 486 00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:01,900 AND IT'S NOT JUST THE ECONOMY 487 00:13:01,966 --> 00:13:02,866 THAT'S IN DANGER HERE. 488 00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:04,333 THERE WERE REAL, MEANINGFUL 489 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,900 GAINS -- PARTICULARLY FOR WOMEN, 490 00:13:05,966 --> 00:13:07,133 WHO'D SUFFERED TERRIBLY UNDER 491 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,266 THE PREVIOUS TALIBAN REGIME. 492 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,266 MILLIONS OF GIRLS WERE ALLOWED 493 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:10,400 TO ATTEND SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST 494 00:13:10,466 --> 00:13:11,366 TIME, AND WOMEN JOINED THE 495 00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:12,666 MILITARY, THE POLICE, AND HELD 496 00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:14,100 POLITICAL OFFICE. 497 00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:15,166 BUT THOSE ACHIEVEMENTS ARE IN 498 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,900 REAL JEOPARDY NOW. 499 00:13:16,966 --> 00:13:18,166 AND SOME WHO LED THE WAY -- LIKE 500 00:13:18,233 --> 00:13:19,600 MAHBOUBA SERAJ, AN AFGHAN 501 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:20,866 WOMEN'S ACTIVIST -- ARE ACUTELY 502 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,800 AWARE OF THAT. 503 00:13:23,866 --> 00:13:24,700 >> I'M GOING TO SAY TO THE WHOLE 504 00:13:24,766 --> 00:13:26,066 WORLD, SHAME ON YOU. 505 00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,166 ARE YOU USING ALL OF US? 506 00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:28,566 ARE WE BEING JUST PAWNS IN YOUR 507 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:29,166 HANDS? 508 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:31,033 IS THAT WHAT IT IS? 509 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,333 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 510 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,033 THEY JUST MADE DECISIONS WITH 511 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,466 THEIR GUT FEELINGS OR WHATEVER, 512 00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,200 ALL OF THESE MEN OF THE WORLD 513 00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:39,266 THAT THEY WERE IN POWER, AND 514 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:41,133 THEY'RE DESTROYING SOMETHING 515 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,900 THAT WE WORKED SO HARD FOR. 516 00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,866 WHAT IS HAPPENING IN AFGHANISTAN 517 00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,100 TODAY IS GOING TO PUT THIS 518 00:13:47,166 --> 00:13:50,600 COUNTRY 200 YEARS BACK. 519 00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:51,500 >> John: THAT IS INCREDIBLY HARD 520 00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:56,866 TO HEAR. 521 00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:58,500 AND THE THING IS, SHE'S RIGHT. 522 00:13:58,566 --> 00:13:59,366 THE PEOPLE OF AFGHANISTAN "HAVE" 523 00:13:59,433 --> 00:13:59,900 BEEN TREATED LIKE PAWNS. 524 00:13:59,966 --> 00:14:00,566 WHILE THERE WERE GAINS, THE 525 00:14:00,633 --> 00:14:01,500 INITIAL IMPULSE THAT LED TO THEM 526 00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:02,166 WAS PURELY U.S. INTERESTS. 527 00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:02,866 AND FOR 20 YEARS, FOR MULTIPLE 528 00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:03,833 REASONS, THE U.S. AND VARIOUS 529 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,433 AFGHAN GOVERNMENTS DIDN'T SECURE 530 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:06,266 THOSE GAINS. 531 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,233 AND EVEN THOUGH THIS WEEK HAS 532 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,600 BROUGHT INCREDIBLE SCENES OF 533 00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:10,100 AFGHAN WOMEN LEADING PROTESTS 534 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,666 AGAINST THE INCOMING TALIBAN 535 00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:13,266 REGIME, ODDS ARE, MUCH OF THAT 536 00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,466 PROGRESS IS NOW SET TO BE 537 00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:22,066 OBLITERATED. 538 00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:22,733 BUT HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY 539 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:23,100 HARD. 540 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:23,766 WHAT WAS THE ANSWER HERE? 541 00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:25,800 TO STAY INDEFINITELY? 542 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:26,433 IT IS VERY HARD TO MAKE A GOOD 543 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,200 CASE FOR THAT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN 544 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,366 THE TALIBAN HAD BEEN 545 00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:29,333 STRENGTHENING IN RECENT YEARS 546 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,700 AND HAD MADE IT CLEAR THAT THEY 547 00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:31,966 WERE GOING TO ESCALATE VIOLENCE 548 00:14:32,033 --> 00:14:33,800 UNLESS WE LEFT. 549 00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:34,800 WHICH MOST PEOPLE AGREE, WE HAD 550 00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:40,133 TO DO. 551 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,766 THE PROBLEM IS THOUGH, JUST AS 552 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,066 WE WENT IN FOCUSED ENTIRELY ON 553 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,366 U.S. INTERESTS, WE'RE LEAVING 554 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:45,800 THE EXACT SAME WAY. 555 00:14:45,866 --> 00:14:46,500 AND THAT BRINGS US TO WHAT WE'RE 556 00:14:46,566 --> 00:14:47,433 DOING RIGHT NOW. 557 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,666 BECAUSE THIS EXIT WAS SET IN 558 00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:50,133 MOTION IN FEBRUARY OF 2020, WHEN 559 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,366 THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION STRUCK 560 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:52,766 A DEAL WITH THE TALIBAN FOR A 561 00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:54,200 TOTAL U.S. WITHDRAWAL BY MAY OF 562 00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:55,700 THIS YEAR. 563 00:14:55,766 --> 00:14:56,900 IN EXCHANGE, THE TALIBAN AGREED 564 00:14:56,966 --> 00:14:58,633 NOT TO LET AFGHANISTAN BECOME A 565 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,566 HAVEN FOR TERRORISTS, AND TO 566 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,533 START PEACE TALKS WITH THE 567 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,700 AFGHAN GOVERNMENT. 568 00:15:02,766 --> 00:15:04,300 ALTHOUGH, NOTABLY, THAT DEAL 569 00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:05,933 EXCLUDED THE AFGHAN GOVERNMENT, 570 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:06,766 MAKING THIS LINE FROM 571 00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:07,966 MIKE POMPEO A LITTLE 572 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,433 HARD TO TAKE. 573 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,900 >> WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, THE 574 00:15:10,966 --> 00:15:11,966 FUTURE OF AFGHANISTAN IS FOR 575 00:15:12,033 --> 00:15:15,166 AFGHANS TO DETERMINE. 576 00:15:15,233 --> 00:15:16,233 THE U.S.-TALIBAN DEAL CREATES 577 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,333 THE CONDITIONS FOR AFGHANS TO DO 578 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,433 JUST THAT. 579 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,533 >> John: WELL, HOLD ON. 580 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,700 YOU NEVER WANT TWO PEOPLE IN A 581 00:15:23,766 --> 00:15:24,700 ROOM DETERMINING YOUR FUTURE 582 00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:26,166 WITHOUT YOU, ESPECIALLY IF ONE 583 00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:29,233 OF THEM IS THE TALIBAN. 584 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,733 HOW DOES POMPEO EXPECT THEM TO 585 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:35,000 REACT TO THAT? 586 00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:35,833 CONGRATULATIONS, AFGHANS. 587 00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:36,700 TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF WHAT 588 00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:37,866 SOMEONE ELSE DETERMINED THE REST 589 00:15:37,933 --> 00:15:39,133 OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE. 590 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,333 NOW, BIDEN PUSHED OUR EXIT DATE 591 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,933 BACK SLIGHTLY, TO AUGUST 31, BUT 592 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,766 HE BASICALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH 593 00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,333 WITH THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION'S 594 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,966 DEAL. 595 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,066 AND WHILE THE TALIBAN LARGELY 596 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:48,866 STUCK BY THEIR PROMISE NOT TO 597 00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:50,333 ATTACK U.S. PERSONNEL, ALMOST 598 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,900 IMMEDIATELY AFTER SIGNING THAT 599 00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,466 DEAL, THEY CARRIED OUT AT LEAST 600 00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:56,866 76 ATTACKS ACROSS 24 AFGHAN 601 00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,666 PROVINCES AND HAVE SINCE PURSUED 602 00:15:58,733 --> 00:15:59,666 ASSASSINATION CAMPAIGNS OF 603 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:00,800 GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, 604 00:16:00,866 --> 00:16:01,866 JOURNALISTS, AND CIVIL SOCIETY 605 00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:03,400 ACTORS, AND JUST THIS MAY, 606 00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:04,633 BEHEADED AN AFGHAN INTERPRETER 607 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,333 FOR THE U.S. ARMY. 608 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,033 AND YET, ALL THE WHILE, THEY'VE 609 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,600 MADE A BIG SHOW OF PRESENTING 610 00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:11,366 THEMSELVES IN A MORE MODERN, 611 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:12,466 FLATTERING LIGHT -- SOMETHING 612 00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,966 THAT CONTINUED THIS WEEK. 613 00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:19,633 >> THIS WAS A SMARTER, MORE 614 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,000 MEDIA-SAVVY TALIBAN ONE. 615 00:16:21,066 --> 00:16:22,300 SENIOR LEADERS CLAIMING THEY 616 00:16:22,366 --> 00:16:23,266 WANT TO FORM AN "INCLUSIVE, 617 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:24,033 ISLAMIC GOVERNMENT." 618 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:24,966 THE GROUP IS ESTABLISHING A 619 00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:26,733 "CIVILIAN CASUALTY PREVENTION 620 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,300 AND COMPLAINTS COMMISSION," 621 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,033 TWEETING OUT WHATSAPP PHONE 622 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:32,700 NUMBERS FOR AFGHANS TO SEND IN 623 00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:34,266 COMPLAINTS. 624 00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,100 >> John: WOW, THAT IS SOMETHING. 625 00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:37,466 AND SET ASIDE THE FACT THAT 626 00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:38,900 "TALIBAN COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT" 627 00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:40,566 SOUNDS LIKE A SKETCH ELON MUSK 628 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:41,933 PITCHED TO "SNL," I'M NOT SURE 629 00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:42,966 IT'S GOING TO BE ALL THAT 630 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:43,900 EFFECTIVE. 631 00:16:43,966 --> 00:16:45,166 IT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF 632 00:16:45,233 --> 00:16:46,466 INSTITUTING A COMPLAINT BOX IN 633 00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:49,100 SCOTT RUDIN'S OFFICE. 634 00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,166 THE PROBLEM WITH THE BEHAVIOR 635 00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:52,633 THERE ISN'T "LACK OF AWARENESS." 636 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,800 A SIGNIFICANTLY CHANGED TALIBAN 637 00:16:55,866 --> 00:16:56,766 JUST DOESN'T SEEM LIKELY HERE. 638 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:57,533 THEIR TIES TO AL-QAEDA ONLY 639 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,700 APPEAR TO BE DEEPENING. 640 00:16:58,766 --> 00:16:59,633 AND THEY'RE NOW EVEN BETTER 641 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:00,666 ARMED. 642 00:17:00,733 --> 00:17:02,066 THE AFGHAN FORCES FELL SO 643 00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:03,366 QUICKLY, THEY LEFT BEHIND 644 00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:07,733 BRAND-NEW BOXES OF GUNS AND 645 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,400 GRENADE LAUNCHERS, WHICH TALIBAN 646 00:17:08,466 --> 00:17:09,066 FIGHTERS HAVE BEEN FILMING 647 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,000 THEMSELVES OPENING IN THE 648 00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:10,833 WORLD'S GRIMMEST UNBOXING 649 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:11,666 VIDEOS. 650 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:12,433 INCIDENTS WHICH LED TO THIS 651 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,833 EXCHANGE: 652 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:17,266 >> WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BILLIONS 653 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,733 OF DOLLARS WORTH OF WEAPONRY 654 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,633 THAT THE U.S. GAVE AFGHANISTAN? 655 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:21,600 >> WE DON'T HAVE A COMPLETE 656 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,400 PICTURE, OBVIOUSLY, OF WHERE 657 00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:23,966 EVERY ARTICLE OF DEFENSE 658 00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:25,900 MATERIALS HAS GONE. 659 00:17:25,966 --> 00:17:26,933 BUT CERTAINLY A FAIR AMOUNT OF 660 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,233 IT HAS FALLEN INTO THE HANDS OF 661 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,700 THE TALIBAN, AND, AH, OBVIOUSLY 662 00:17:33,766 --> 00:17:39,233 WE DON'T HAVE A SENSE THAT 663 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,533 THEY ARE GOING TO READILY HAND 664 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,266 IT OVER TO US AT THE AIRPORT. 665 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:44,933 >> John: AH, YEAH, I THINK 666 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:45,466 THAT'S A SAFE ASSUMPTION. 667 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:46,233 BUT HEY, WE COULD ALWAYS TEXT 668 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:46,900 THE TALIBAN COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT 669 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:47,566 AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 670 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:48,500 I'M SURE WE'LL BE DEALT WITH 671 00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:49,133 SWIFTLY. 672 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,133 SO HERE WE ARE, 20 YEARS OF WAR 673 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:50,833 AND DESTRUCTION. 674 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:51,800 TENS OF THOUSANDS OF AFGHANS 675 00:17:51,866 --> 00:17:52,366 KILLED. 676 00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:53,900 MANY MORE TRAUMATIZED. 677 00:17:53,966 --> 00:17:55,433 AND THE OVERALL SENSE YOU HAVE 678 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,666 AT THIS POINT IS OF DEEP 679 00:17:57,733 --> 00:17:58,766 BETRAYAL: BETRAYAL OF THE 680 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:00,566 PROMISES THAT WERE MADE TO THE 681 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:02,333 AFGHAN PEOPLE AND BETRAYAL OF 682 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,600 THE U.S. SERVICE MEMBERS ASKED 683 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,333 TO EXECUTE THOSE SELF-SERVING 684 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,400 PROMISES AND WHO ARE NOW LEFT 685 00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:07,333 ASKING THEMSELVES, "WHAT DID I 686 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,666 JUST DO? 687 00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:09,900 WHAT WAS THIS ALL FOR?" 688 00:18:09,966 --> 00:18:11,566 THE MILITARY SENT OUT AN EMAIL 689 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,500 TO 9 MILLION VETERANS THIS WEEK 690 00:18:13,566 --> 00:18:15,400 OFFERING A LIST OF MENTAL HEALTH 691 00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:17,000 RESOURCES WITH NOTES LIKE, 692 00:18:17,066 --> 00:18:19,133 "IF YOU'RE HAVING THOUGHTS OF 693 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,000 SUICIDE, CALL THIS NUMBER." 694 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:22,633 AND IF YOU ARE, DO. 695 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,133 THIS IS A GRIM SITUATION. 696 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,200 AND THERE ARE IMMEDIATE 697 00:18:25,266 --> 00:18:26,766 DECISIONS THAT NEED TO BE MADE 698 00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:27,900 THAT HAVE LIFE-OR-DEATH 699 00:18:27,966 --> 00:18:29,600 CONSEQUENCES FOR AFGHANS WHO PUT 700 00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,166 THEIR TRUST IN US, LIKE THIS 701 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,733 ACTIVIST: 702 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,233 >> FATIMA, THAT'S NOT HER REAL 703 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,800 NAME, AND HER CHILDREN HAVE GONE 704 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,266 INTO HIDING AFTER DEATH THREATS 705 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,500 FROM THE TALIBAN FOR HER WORK IN 706 00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:41,033 EMPOWERING OTHER WOMEN. 707 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,400 SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS BUILDING A 708 00:18:43,466 --> 00:18:44,833 NEW AND BETTER AFGHANISTAN, BUT 709 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,400 NOW SHE'S VIEWED AS A SPY AND 710 00:18:46,466 --> 00:18:50,366 ENEMY COLLABORATOR. 711 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,600 >> I FEEL EXTREMELY ABANDONED. 712 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:54,366 I AM IN -- I AM IN DANGER. 713 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,633 IT'S NOT ONLY THAT I AM IN 714 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,466 DANGER, NOW MY KIDS ARE IN 715 00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:57,533 DANGER. 716 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,533 THEY WON'T -- THEY WON'T LEAVE 717 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,633 US -- THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALIVE. 718 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:01,600 >> John: WE BEAR RESPONSIBILITY 719 00:19:01,666 --> 00:19:05,200 FOR THE POSITION SHE'S IN. 720 00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:06,333 WE SAID WE'D PROTECT PEOPLE WHO 721 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,233 DID COURAGEOUS THINGS THAT 722 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,800 PISSED OFF THE TALIBAN, LIKE 723 00:19:09,866 --> 00:19:10,466 "ADVOCATE FOR HUMAN RIGHTS," 724 00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:11,400 EVEN IF IT WOUND UP PUTTING A 725 00:19:11,466 --> 00:19:12,566 TARGET ON THEIR BACK. 726 00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:13,533 AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE WE'RE 727 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,400 WALKING AWAY GOING, "WHOA, COOL 728 00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:14,966 TARGET, HOW'D YOU GET THAT? 729 00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:15,666 YOU KNOW WHAT? 730 00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:18,500 DON'T ANSWER, WE'RE LEAVING." 731 00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:20,200 AND AGAIN, I AM NOT ADVOCATING 732 00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:23,433 FOR STAYING. 733 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,233 AT ALL. 734 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,300 WHAT I'M SAYING IS, WE'RE IN THE 735 00:19:25,366 --> 00:19:26,500 MIDST OF A MASSIVE HUMANITARIAN 736 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,100 CRISIS, AND WE HAVE A CLEAR 737 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,500 OBLIGATION TO TAKE IN AFGHANS 738 00:19:29,566 --> 00:19:30,733 WHO ARE NOW VULNERABLE -- AND 739 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,133 NOT JUST THOSE THAT WORKED WITH 740 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:33,900 U.S. TROOPS, BUT THOSE, LIKE 741 00:19:33,966 --> 00:19:34,933 FATIMA AND HER CHILDREN, WHOSE 742 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,733 LIVES ARE NOW AT GRAVE RISK. 743 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,200 ALTHOUGH SOME CONSERVATIVE 744 00:19:38,266 --> 00:19:39,900 COMMENTATORS ARE ALREADY TRYING 745 00:19:39,966 --> 00:19:42,466 TO GET WAY OUT AHEAD OF THAT. 746 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:43,700 >> IF HISTORY IS ANY GUIDE, AND 747 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,633 IT'S ALWAYS A GUIDE, WE WILL SEE 748 00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:48,533 MANY REFUGEES FROM AFGHANISTAN 749 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:49,333 RESETTLE IN OUR COUNTRY IN 750 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:49,966 COMING MONTHS, PROBABLY IN YOUR 751 00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:51,066 NEIGHBORHOOD. 752 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,200 AND OVER THE NEXT DECADE, THAT 753 00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:53,900 NUMBER MAY SWELL TO THE 754 00:19:53,966 --> 00:19:54,800 MILLIONS. 755 00:19:54,866 --> 00:19:56,000 SO FIRST WE INVADE, AND THEN WE 756 00:19:56,066 --> 00:19:57,166 ARE INVADED. 757 00:19:57,233 --> 00:19:58,400 >> THE LESSON OF THIS 20-YEAR 758 00:19:58,466 --> 00:20:00,500 WAR CANNOT BE THAT EVERY TIME WE 759 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,200 TURN A COUNTRY UPSIDE DOWN OR 760 00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:03,933 MAKE HUGE MISTAKES, OUR 761 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,966 IMMIGRATION LAWS, OUR REFUGEE 762 00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:12,766 LAWS NO LONGER APPLY. 763 00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:14,500 >> John: OKAY, FIRST, FUCK OFF, 764 00:20:14,566 --> 00:20:15,333 YOU TAG TEAM RACIAL PANIC 765 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:15,866 GOBLINS. 766 00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:17,333 SECOND, THE NOTION OF 767 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,833 "EVERY TIME WE TURN A COUNTRY 768 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:21,233 UPSIDE DOWN" IS AN INCREDIBLE 769 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:21,733 THING TO JUST BLOW PAST. 770 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:22,800 MAYBE THAT'S THE LESSON HERE, 771 00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:23,933 LAURA. 772 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:24,666 MAYBE DON'T KEEP TURNING 773 00:20:24,733 --> 00:20:26,400 COUNTRIES UPSIDE DOWN IN THE 774 00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:27,666 FIRST PLACE. 775 00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:28,566 AS FOR, "OUR REFUGEE LAWS NO 776 00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:30,666 LONGER APPLY"? 777 00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:32,233 WE ARE A BIG PART OF WHY THOSE 778 00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,400 PEOPLE ARE REFUGEES. 779 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,666 HELPING THEM NOW ISN'T CHARITY, 780 00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:37,533 IT'S DOING THE BARE MINIMUM. 781 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,900 REFUSING TO HELP A NEIGHBOR 782 00:20:38,966 --> 00:20:40,333 WHOSE HOME JUST BURNED DOWN IS 783 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,000 SHITTY. 784 00:20:43,066 --> 00:20:44,100 DOING IT WHEN YOU HELPED START 785 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:45,566 THE FIRE IS FUCKING MONSTROUS. 786 00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:47,466 AND THE THING IS, THEY'RE NOT 787 00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:48,600 THE ONLY ONES WHO'VE BEEN BLITHE 788 00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:51,033 ABOUT THE FATE OF THE AFGHANS. 789 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,566 BIDEN'S FAILURE TO PLAN HERE IS 790 00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:55,166 ASTONISHING. 791 00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:56,366 BUT HIS CONTINUED INDIFFERENCE 792 00:20:56,433 --> 00:20:58,933 TO THE LIVES OF ANYONE WHO'S NOT 793 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,133 AMERICAN ISN'T SURPRISING. 794 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,766 HE'S FELT THIS WAY FOR YEARS. 795 00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,300 ACCORDING TO THE LATE DIPLOMAT 796 00:21:04,366 --> 00:21:05,566 RICHARD HOLBROOKE'S DIARY, IN 797 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:08,100 2010, THE TWO MEN HAD A 798 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,566 CONVERSATION, AND BIDEN TOLD 799 00:21:09,633 --> 00:21:11,133 HIM THE U.S. HAD TO WITHDRAW 800 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,633 EVERY TROOP FROM AFGHANISTAN, 801 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,066 REGARDLESS OF THE CONSEQUENCES 802 00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,033 FOR WOMEN OR ANYONE ELSE. 803 00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:16,633 AND WHEN HOLBROOKE ASKED HIM 804 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,366 ABOUT AMERICAN OBLIGATIONS TO 805 00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:21,000 THOSE WHO'D BE IN DANGER IF WE 806 00:21:21,066 --> 00:21:22,100 LEFT, BIDEN MENTIONED THE U.S. 807 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,166 WITHDRAWAL FROM SOUTHEAST ASIA 808 00:21:23,233 --> 00:21:24,566 IN 1973, SAYING, "FUCK THAT, WE 809 00:21:24,633 --> 00:21:26,133 DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 810 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,366 WE DID IT IN VIETNAM, NIXON AND 811 00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:29,700 KISSINGER GOT AWAY WITH IT." 812 00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:33,100 AND MAY I SAY, JOE? 813 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,000 A-PLUS CHOICE OF HISTORICAL 814 00:21:34,066 --> 00:21:35,000 ROLE-MODELS THERE. 815 00:21:35,066 --> 00:21:36,066 WHEN YOU'RE ROLLING WITH DICK 816 00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:36,800 AND THE KISS, YOU KNOW YOU'RE 817 00:21:36,866 --> 00:21:39,000 ROLLING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF 818 00:21:39,066 --> 00:21:43,200 HISTORY. 819 00:21:43,266 --> 00:21:43,966 AND LAST FEBRUARY, BIDEN DOUBLED 820 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:45,333 DOWN ON THAT ARGUMENT. 821 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,300 >> DON'T YOU BEAR SOME 822 00:21:46,366 --> 00:21:46,966 RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE OUTCOME 823 00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:47,700 IF THE TALIBAN ENDS UP BACK IN 824 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:48,433 CONTROL AND WOMEN END UP LOSING 825 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:48,800 THE RIGHTS? 826 00:21:48,866 --> 00:21:49,666 >> NO, I DON'T. 827 00:21:49,733 --> 00:21:50,333 DO I BEAR RESPONSIBILITY? 828 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,066 ZERO RESPONSIBILITY. 829 00:21:52,133 --> 00:21:53,633 THE RESPONSIBILITY I HAVE IS TO 830 00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:55,900 PROTECT AMERICA'S NATIONAL 831 00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,666 SELF-INTEREST AND NOT PUT OUR 832 00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,000 WOMEN AND MEN IN HARM'S WAY TO 833 00:22:00,066 --> 00:22:01,733 TRY TO SOLVE EVERY SINGLE 834 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,366 PROBLEM IN THE WORLD BY USE OF 835 00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:04,033 FORCE. 836 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:04,866 THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY AS 837 00:22:04,933 --> 00:22:06,466 PRESIDENT. 838 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:07,133 >> John: OKAY, REAL QUICK: 839 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,266 YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A ZERO 840 00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:09,266 WITH YOUR FINGERS TO INDICATE 841 00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:10,833 YOU MEAN ZERO. 842 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:12,633 YOU'RE AN ADULT MAN, NOT 843 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:13,633 A CHILD ENSEMBLE MEMBER OF 844 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:17,700 BROADWAY'S "MATILDA." 845 00:22:17,766 --> 00:22:19,000 THOUGH I WILL SAY, IF BIDEN 846 00:22:19,066 --> 00:22:23,033 WANTS TO ARGUE FOR ISOLATIONISM 847 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:23,866 GOING FORWARD, HE'S WELCOME TO 848 00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:24,433 DO THAT. 849 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,300 BUT WHAT HE CAN'T DO IS USE THAT 850 00:22:25,366 --> 00:22:25,900 AS A JUSTIFICATION TO DISMISS 851 00:22:25,966 --> 00:22:26,600 THE FATES OF PEOPLE IN WHOSE 852 00:22:26,666 --> 00:22:27,633 COUNTRY WE'VE ALREADY 853 00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,133 DISASTROUSLY INTERVENED. 854 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,466 BECAUSE WE HAVE A NON-ZERO DUTY 855 00:22:30,533 --> 00:22:32,333 AT THIS POINT TO DO EVERYTHING 856 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,800 WE CAN TO HELP THEM. 857 00:22:33,866 --> 00:22:35,466 AND THAT MEANS GETTING AS MANY 858 00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,900 PEOPLE OUT AS WE CAN. 859 00:22:37,966 --> 00:22:39,100 AND ADVOCATES FOR REFUGEES SAY 860 00:22:39,166 --> 00:22:40,933 THE FIRST THING TO DO IS SECURE 861 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,033 A PERIMETER AT THE KABUL 862 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:43,800 AIRPORT, MAKING SURE PEOPLE HAVE 863 00:22:43,866 --> 00:22:45,566 A SAFE WAY TO GET THERE AND GET 864 00:22:45,633 --> 00:22:51,200 INSIDE, BECAUSE THAT HAS BEEN 865 00:22:51,266 --> 00:22:52,633 TOTAL CHAOS THIS WEEK, TO THE 866 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,066 POINT THAT MANY OF THE DEPARTING 867 00:22:54,133 --> 00:22:54,633 FLIGHTS HAVE LEFT WITH EMPTY 868 00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:55,100 SEATS. 869 00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:55,900 AND THE FACT THERE ARE PEOPLE 870 00:22:55,966 --> 00:22:57,066 WITH VISAS UNABLE TO GET ONTO 871 00:22:57,133 --> 00:22:59,466 THE PLANES IS BAD ENOUGH. 872 00:22:59,533 --> 00:23:00,666 BUT THERE ARE MANY MORE AT-RISK 873 00:23:00,733 --> 00:23:04,900 AFGHANS WHO ARE STILL STUCK IN 874 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,400 THE VISA PROCESS, AND WE SHOULD 875 00:23:07,466 --> 00:23:12,066 BE GETTING THEM TO THE U.S. AS 876 00:23:12,133 --> 00:23:12,866 QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE SO THEY 877 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:13,566 CAN THEN SAFELY FINISH THEIR 878 00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:14,133 PAPERWORK -- AND THAT CAN BE 879 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:14,733 ACHIEVED BY GRANTING THEM 880 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:15,400 CATEGORICAL "HUMANITARIAN 881 00:23:15,466 --> 00:23:17,766 PAROLE." 882 00:23:17,833 --> 00:23:18,866 AND TO THE EXTENT ANY HESITATION 883 00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:20,300 ABOUT DOING THIS IS DUE TO FEAR 884 00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:21,233 OF POLITICAL BLOWBACK THANKS TO 885 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,766 IDIOTS LIKE THESE, CALL YOUR 886 00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:26,833 REPRESENTATIVES AND TELL THEM 887 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:29,733 THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THIS. 888 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,200 BECAUSE IF THEY THINK THAT YOU 889 00:23:34,266 --> 00:23:34,866 DON'T, IT IS NOT GOING TO 890 00:23:34,933 --> 00:23:35,400 HAPPEN. 891 00:23:35,466 --> 00:23:36,033 LOOK: THE CHAOS THIS WEEK IS 892 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:36,666 ALREADY A STAIN ON BIDEN'S 893 00:23:36,733 --> 00:23:37,666 LEGACY -- THE ONLY QUESTION IS, 894 00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:38,333 HOW BIG DOES HE WANT THAT STAIN 895 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,433 TO BE? 896 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,500 AND THAT IS REALLY UP TO HIM. 897 00:23:41,566 --> 00:23:42,733 BUT MORE BROADLY, WE, AS A 898 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,100 COUNTRY, NEED TO TAKE A HARD 899 00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:45,266 LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE DONE IN 900 00:23:45,333 --> 00:23:46,666 AFGHANISTAN -- WHICH IS LIKELY 901 00:23:46,733 --> 00:23:47,766 TO BE DESTABILIZED FOR DECADES 902 00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:50,300 TO COME. 903 00:23:50,366 --> 00:23:52,666 SO WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THAT? 904 00:23:52,733 --> 00:23:55,033 NOT MUCH NOW. 905 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:56,466 NO AMOUNT OF BRUTE FORCE OR 906 00:23:56,533 --> 00:23:57,400 PERSEVERANCE IS GOING TO CLEAR 907 00:23:57,466 --> 00:24:00,500 UP THE CLUSTERFUCK THAT WE 908 00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:01,933 HELPED FUCK INTO EXISTENCE. 909 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,633 AND I REALIZE THAT'S A 910 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:03,533 QUINTESSENTIALLY UNAMERICAN 911 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,300 IDEA -- TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE 912 00:24:04,366 --> 00:24:05,766 CAN'T ALWAYS CONTROL SOMETHING 913 00:24:05,833 --> 00:24:07,633 WE WANT TO CONTROL OR ACHIEVE 914 00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:08,833 SOMETHING WE WANT TO ACHIEVE. 915 00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:10,566 BUT THE TRUTH IS, WE CAN'T. 916 00:24:10,633 --> 00:24:13,000 I KNOW THAT FEELS FUTILE. 917 00:24:13,066 --> 00:24:15,066 BUT ASSUMING WE CAN GO INTO 918 00:24:15,133 --> 00:24:16,200 ANOTHER COUNTRY AND FIX 919 00:24:16,266 --> 00:24:21,133 EVERYTHING BY SIMPLY IMPOSING 920 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,966 OUR WILL IS LARGELY WHAT LED US 921 00:24:24,033 --> 00:24:24,500 TO WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW. 922 00:24:24,566 --> 00:24:25,100 WE HAVE SPENT DECADES CLAIMING 923 00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:25,700 THAT WE'RE TRYING TO SOLVE THE 924 00:24:25,766 --> 00:24:28,233 WORLD'S PROBLEMS -- ALBEIT 925 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,666 ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY WHEN IT 926 00:24:30,733 --> 00:24:31,466 HELPED SOLVE OUR OWN -- AND THE 927 00:24:31,533 --> 00:24:32,666 RESULT HAS BEEN, IN THE WORDS OF 928 00:24:32,733 --> 00:24:33,233 THIS PROFESSIONAL 929 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:34,033 PEARL-CLUTCHER, THAT WE'VE 930 00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:35,200 TURNED ONE COUNTRY AFTER ANOTHER 931 00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:37,900 UPSIDE DOWN. 932 00:24:37,966 --> 00:24:39,800 SO WE SHOULD MAYBE STOP DOING 933 00:24:39,866 --> 00:24:41,166 THAT. 934 00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:42,933 BUT IN THE MEANTIME, THE LEAST 935 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,200 WE COULD DO IS HELP ALLEVIATE 936 00:24:44,266 --> 00:24:45,933 THE HUMANITARIAN CRISIS AHEAD. 937 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,066 BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS 938 00:24:48,133 --> 00:24:49,566 IN AFGHANISTAN FROM HERE ON OUT, 939 00:24:49,633 --> 00:24:50,700 THERE IS NO UNIVERSE WHERE 940 00:24:50,766 --> 00:24:52,166 AMERICA BEARS ZERO 941 00:24:52,233 --> 00:24:53,400 RESPONSIBILITY. 942 00:24:53,466 --> 00:25:00,133 AND NOW THIS. 943 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,100 >> Announcer: AND NOW, TAMRON 944 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,833 HALL WILL HAVE YOU KNOW SHE IS 945 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:05,000 50. 946 00:25:05,066 --> 00:25:09,400 >> AND HERE SHE IS, THE ONE, THE 947 00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:14,166 ONLY, THE 50 AND FABULOUS TAMRON 948 00:25:14,233 --> 00:25:16,766 HALL! 949 00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:20,033 >> I HAVE, IN MY 40s, NOW THAT 950 00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:21,900 I'M 50. 951 00:25:21,966 --> 00:25:22,300 I'M 59. 952 00:25:22,366 --> 00:25:25,600 ON A PERSONAL NOTE, I'M 50. 953 00:25:25,666 --> 00:25:28,333 >41 AND DON'T CARE. 954 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,533 WAIT TILL YOU TURN 50. 955 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,633 I'M 50, YOU ARE 54. 956 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:33,933 YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ON 957 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,733 "SESAME STREET" HAVE BEEN 958 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,800 HELPING KIDS AND FAMILIES AROUND 959 00:25:36,866 --> 00:25:39,266 THE WORLD AND ALL KINDS OF WAYS 960 00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:43,100 FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS. 961 00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:45,666 50 YEARS, THAT'S HOW OLD I AM. 962 00:25:45,733 --> 00:25:46,300 >> WOW. 963 00:25:46,366 --> 00:25:49,400 >> LISTEN, I AM -- AS THE KIDS 964 00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,300 SAY, I'M 50. 965 00:25:51,366 --> 00:25:54,333 HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT? 966 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,766 OKAY, I AM 50 YEARS OLD. 967 00:25:57,833 --> 00:25:58,200 I'M 50. 968 00:25:58,266 --> 00:25:59,500 I'M 50. 969 00:25:59,566 --> 00:25:59,733 I'M 50. 970 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,566 THIS IS THE BEST TACO I'VE EVER 971 00:26:01,633 --> 00:26:04,300 HAD IN MY LIFE. 972 00:26:04,366 --> 00:26:05,566 I'M 50. 973 00:26:05,633 --> 00:26:06,333 >> John: MOVING ON. 974 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:06,966 BEFORE WE GO, A QUICK WORD ABOUT 975 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:07,500 HAMMERS. 976 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:08,433 SOME ARE EENSY. 977 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,166 SOME ARE CHONKOS. 978 00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,233 SOME HAVE A LITTLE CLAW ON THE 979 00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:10,733 END FOR PULLING NAILS. 980 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:11,600 OTHERS HAVE A LITTLE ROUND NUB 981 00:26:11,666 --> 00:26:15,966 AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY. 982 00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:17,733 AND ONE HAMMER IS ACTUALLY A 983 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:18,300 PRACTICING PERSONAL INJURY 984 00:26:18,366 --> 00:26:18,666 ATTORNEY, WHICH 985 00:26:18,733 --> 00:26:19,533 YOU MIGHT REMEMBER FROM THIS 986 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,133 "AND NOW" SEGMENT WE AIRED IN 987 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:20,600 2019. 988 00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:21,433 >> GREEDY INSURANCE COMPANIES 989 00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:22,066 PLAY DIRTY. 990 00:26:22,133 --> 00:26:22,800 BRING IT ON! 991 00:26:22,866 --> 00:26:24,200 I'M JIM ADLER, THE TEXAS HAMMER. 992 00:26:24,266 --> 00:26:26,933 I'M JIM ADLER, THE TEXAS HAMMER. 993 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,100 AND I DO MY BEST TO BRING 'EM 994 00:26:28,166 --> 00:26:28,833 DOWN! 995 00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:31,533 I GET ANGRIER THAN A JUNKYARD 996 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,800 DOG. 997 00:26:32,866 --> 00:26:33,900 I STAND TOUGH AND CARRY A BIG 998 00:26:33,966 --> 00:26:34,500 HAMMER. 999 00:26:34,566 --> 00:26:35,166 I GROWL AND BARK. 1000 00:26:35,233 --> 00:26:35,800 >> WAKE UP! 1001 00:26:35,866 --> 00:26:36,966 >> IT'S HAMMER TIME! 1002 00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:43,433 I'M JIM ADLER, THE TEXAS HAMMER! 1003 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:44,833 >> John: YOU GET THE IDEA, 1004 00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:45,066 RIGHT? 1005 00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:46,000 HE'S THE TEXAS HAMMER. 1006 00:26:46,066 --> 00:26:46,433 HE CARRIES A HAMMER. 1007 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:47,233 HE TALKS ABOUT HAMMERS. 1008 00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:48,166 FOR A WHILE IN THE MIDDLE HE 1009 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:48,833 TALKS ABOUT GROWLING AND BARKING 1010 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:49,366 LIKE A DOG, WHICH IS A BIT 1011 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:50,033 CONFUSING, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT A 1012 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:50,666 THING HAMMERS DO, BUT THEN IT'S 1013 00:26:50,733 --> 00:26:51,900 RIGHT BACK TO HAMMER TIME, BABY. 1014 00:26:51,966 --> 00:26:52,733 NOW, WE AIRED THAT BECAUSE WE 1015 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:53,600 THOUGHT HIS ADS WERE FANTASTIC. 1016 00:26:53,666 --> 00:26:54,600 BUT SINCE THEN, WE'VE DISCOVERED 1017 00:26:54,666 --> 00:26:57,200 JUST HOW MUCH MONEY JIM ADLER 1018 00:26:57,266 --> 00:26:57,900 PUTS INTO THEM. 1019 00:26:57,966 --> 00:26:59,900 HE CLAIMS TO HAVE SPENT OVER 1020 00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:02,033 $100 MILLION DOLLARS ON ADS 1021 00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:03,166 SINCE 2000, AND AS YOU CAN SEE 1022 00:27:03,233 --> 00:27:04,633 FROM THIS TESTIMONIAL HE ONCE 1023 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:05,900 FILMED FOR AN AD AGENCY HE 1024 00:27:05,966 --> 00:27:06,700 WORKED WITH, HE PUTS A LOT OF 1025 00:27:06,766 --> 00:27:08,533 THOUGHT INTO THEM TOO. 1026 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,033 >> A LAWYER IN ANOTHER STATE MAY 1027 00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:12,233 NOT WANT TO BE A HAMMER, OR BE A 1028 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,233 TOUGH, SMART LAWYER, BUT THEY 1029 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:15,800 UNDERSTAND THE IMAGE THAT THE 1030 00:27:15,866 --> 00:27:17,666 CLIENT WANTS TO PORTRAY. 1031 00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:18,466 >> John: RIGHT. 1032 00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:19,400 LAWYERS IN OTHER STATES MIGHT 1033 00:27:19,466 --> 00:27:20,700 NOT WANT TO BE TOUGH, SMART 1034 00:27:20,766 --> 00:27:22,533 LAWYERS. 1035 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:23,566 WISCONSIN LIKES ITS LAWYERS WEAK 1036 00:27:23,633 --> 00:27:24,233 AND SIMPLE. 1037 00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:25,000 MICHIGAN PREFERS THEM LEAN AND 1038 00:27:25,066 --> 00:27:26,066 LETHARGIC. 1039 00:27:26,133 --> 00:27:27,533 IDAHO WANTS EVERY ATTORNEY TO BE 1040 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,233 DAMP AND DISTRACTED, WHILE HERE 1041 00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:30,066 IN NEW YORK, WE LIKE THEM SWEATY 1042 00:27:30,133 --> 00:27:31,766 AND SUSPENDED. 1043 00:27:31,833 --> 00:27:34,500 UNFORTUNATELY FOR JIM ADLER 1044 00:27:34,566 --> 00:27:35,466 THOUGH, IT TURNS OUT THERE IS 1045 00:27:35,533 --> 00:27:37,533 ANOTHER LAWYER IN ANOTHER STATE 1046 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:38,500 WHO WANTS TO BE A HAMMER TOO. 1047 00:27:38,566 --> 00:27:39,433 >> I'M MIKE SLOCUMB. 1048 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,500 THE ALABAMA HAMMER! 1049 00:27:40,566 --> 00:27:42,566 IF YOU'VE BEEN INJURED, CALL ME 1050 00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:43,633 RIGHT NOW AND GET THE BIG CHECK. 1051 00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:44,833 >> John: HI, MIKE! 1052 00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:47,466 NICE TO MEET YOU! 1053 00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:48,600 NOW, IF YOU'RE NOTICING ANY 1054 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:49,400 SIMILARITIES, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. 1055 00:27:49,466 --> 00:27:50,633 BECAUSE WHEN JIM ADLER FOUND OUT 1056 00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,966 WHAT MIKE SLOCUMB WAS DOING, HE 1057 00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:53,966 FUCKING SUED HIM! 1058 00:27:54,033 --> 00:27:55,333 AND WHILE WE CAN'T GET INTO ALL 1059 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,200 OF THE CLAIMS IN HIS VERY FUN 1060 00:27:57,266 --> 00:27:58,466 LAWSUIT, BASICALLY, HE'S 1061 00:27:58,533 --> 00:27:59,766 ALLEGING THAT MIKE SLOCUMB -- 1062 00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:00,866 THE ALABAMA HAMMER -- HAD 1063 00:28:00,933 --> 00:28:02,200 "ADOPTED HIS FAMOUS PERSONA IN A 1064 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:03,800 BRAZEN BID TO CONFUSE AND 1065 00:28:03,866 --> 00:28:04,700 DECEIVE CONSUMERS." 1066 00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:06,600 AND THE THING IS, HE'S NOT JUST 1067 00:28:06,666 --> 00:28:07,333 CLAIMING THE ALABAMA HAMMER IS 1068 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,000 COPYING HIS NICKNAME. 1069 00:28:09,066 --> 00:28:09,833 I'M GOING TO PLAY TWO OF THEIR 1070 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:10,900 COMMERCIALS SIDE BY SIDE AND SEE 1071 00:28:10,966 --> 00:28:13,733 IF THEY LOOK SIMILAR TO YOU. 1072 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,133 >> GREEDY INSURANCE COMPANIES 1073 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,466 PLAY DIRTY. 1074 00:28:16,533 --> 00:28:17,600 BRING IT ON. 1075 00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:18,566 >> CHEAP INSURANCE COMPANIES 1076 00:28:18,633 --> 00:28:19,600 PLAY ROUGH. 1077 00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:21,066 I BEAT 'EM AT THEIR OWN GAME! 1078 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,066 >> I'M JIM ADLER, THE TEXAS 1079 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:23,200 HAMMER! 1080 00:28:23,266 --> 00:28:24,466 >> I'M MIKE SLOCUMB, THE ALABAMA 1081 00:28:24,533 --> 00:28:26,333 HAMMER! 1082 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:30,266 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! 1083 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:30,833 >> John: OH, COME ON! 1084 00:28:30,900 --> 00:28:32,466 NOW, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, SLOCUMB 1085 00:28:32,533 --> 00:28:33,333 DENIES ADLER'S CLAIMS -- 1086 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,133 INCLUDING THAT HE COPIED THAT 1087 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,200 AD. 1088 00:28:35,266 --> 00:28:36,633 AND I'M GONNA SAY, GOOD LUCK 1089 00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:38,800 DEFENDING THAT ARGUMENT. 1090 00:28:38,866 --> 00:28:40,900 BUT I DO ACTUALLY HAVE A BIT OF 1091 00:28:40,966 --> 00:28:41,900 SYMPATHY FOR MIKE SLOCUMB. 1092 00:28:41,966 --> 00:28:42,533 BECAUSE IF YOU WATCH HIS ADS 1093 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,400 THAT AREN'T HAMMER-THEMED, IT 1094 00:28:43,466 --> 00:28:45,933 BECOMES CLEAR HOW MUCH MIKE 1095 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,266 NEEDS THAT GIMMICK. 1096 00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:50,233 BECAUSE THEY'RE A TOTAL MESS. 1097 00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:50,933 THERE'S ONE WHERE HE'S A 1098 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,300 "BIG BUCKS" HUNTER WHERE HE 1099 00:28:52,366 --> 00:28:53,700 SHOOTS DEER THAT EXPLODE INTO 1100 00:28:53,766 --> 00:28:55,733 MONEY, ONE WHERE HE RUNS AFTER 1101 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,100 AN AMBULANCE LIKE A CAROUSEL 1102 00:28:57,166 --> 00:28:58,433 HORSE, ONLY TO GET HIT BY A 1103 00:28:58,500 --> 00:29:00,766 DIFFERENT AMBULANCE. 1104 00:29:00,833 --> 00:29:02,600 AND THEN THERE'S THIS: 1105 00:29:02,666 --> 00:29:04,533 >> GIVE ME MY LUNCH MONEY BACK! 1106 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:05,666 WHERE'S THE ALABAMA HAMMER? 1107 00:29:05,733 --> 00:29:06,533 >> I'VE BEEN STANDING UP TO 1108 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,000 BULLIES MY WHOLE LIFE. 1109 00:29:08,066 --> 00:29:09,200 >> WHOO! 1110 00:29:09,266 --> 00:29:10,600 >> WHOO! 1111 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,733 I'M MIKE SLOCUMB, THE ALABAMA 1112 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:12,366 HAMMER! 1113 00:29:12,433 --> 00:29:13,433 IF YOU'VE BEEN INJURED IN A CAR 1114 00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,666 WRECK, DON'T LET THE INSURANCE 1115 00:29:15,733 --> 00:29:16,700 COMPANY BULLY YOU. 1116 00:29:16,766 --> 00:29:19,266 CALL ME RIGHT NOW! 1117 00:29:19,333 --> 00:29:19,966 >> John: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? 1118 00:29:20,033 --> 00:29:20,733 I'M REALLY CURIOUS WHAT HAPPENED 1119 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:21,300 IN THE NEXT SCENE WHEN THE 1120 00:29:21,366 --> 00:29:21,800 POLICE TURNED UP. 1121 00:29:21,866 --> 00:29:22,600 "WHO PUNCHED THIS CHILD 1122 00:29:22,666 --> 00:29:23,600 UNCONSCIOUS?" 1123 00:29:23,666 --> 00:29:24,833 "THAT WAS ME, OFFICER, BUT DON'T 1124 00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:25,933 WORRY -- IT'S OKAY." 1125 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,533 "EXPLAIN HOW, BUT JUST SO YOU 1126 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:27,866 KNOW, I'M GOING TO GET MY TASER 1127 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:28,800 OUT WHILE YOU TALK." 1128 00:29:28,866 --> 00:29:30,166 "WHEN I KNOCKED HIM OUT, I WAS 1129 00:29:30,233 --> 00:29:34,066 ALSO A CHILD. 1130 00:29:34,133 --> 00:29:34,700 THEN I SAID 'WHOO,' IMMEDIATELY 1131 00:29:34,766 --> 00:29:36,933 AGED 30 YEARS INTO AN ADULT, AND 1132 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:37,633 SAID 'WHOO' AGAIN." 1133 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:38,366 "HMM. 1134 00:29:38,433 --> 00:29:39,633 SEEMS UNLIKELY, BUT YOU ARE 1135 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:40,300 WHITE, SO I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND 1136 00:29:40,366 --> 00:29:40,866 GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE 1137 00:29:40,933 --> 00:29:41,333 DOUBT." 1138 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,433 LOOK, IT SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO 1139 00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:44,933 ME THAT MIKE SLOCUMB RIPPED OFF 1140 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:45,333 THE TEXAS HAMMER. 1141 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:45,833 AND YOU CAN SEE WHY. 1142 00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:46,466 HIS COMMERCIALS ARE EVERYTHING 1143 00:29:46,533 --> 00:29:47,566 THAT SLOCUMB'S AREN'T: CLEAR, 1144 00:29:47,633 --> 00:29:48,333 PRECISE, AND THEMATICALLY 1145 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,666 RESONANT. 1146 00:29:49,733 --> 00:29:51,133 YOU'LL LEARN TWO KEY FACTS: HE'S 1147 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:52,966 THE TEXAS HAMMER, AND THAT'S IT. 1148 00:29:53,033 --> 00:29:56,133 AND I SO BADLY DON'T WANT THESE 1149 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,700 TWO GLORIOUS MANIACS TO FIGHT. 1150 00:29:57,766 --> 00:29:59,300 IT SEEMS THE BEST THING IS FOR 1151 00:29:59,366 --> 00:30:00,733 MIKE SLOCUMB TO SIMPLY GET A 1152 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:01,900 DIFFERENT TOOL-THEMED NICKNAME 1153 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,700 SO THESE TWO DANGEROUSLY STRANGE 1154 00:30:03,766 --> 00:30:06,800 MEN CAN MOVE ON IN PEACE. 1155 00:30:06,866 --> 00:30:11,833 AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A SUGGESTION 1156 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:12,733 FOR YOU, MIKE, AND IT'S THIS 1157 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,000 BANANA SLICER. 1158 00:30:14,066 --> 00:30:14,666 MIKE "THE ALABAMA BANANA SLICER" 1159 00:30:14,733 --> 00:30:15,200 SLOCUMB. 1160 00:30:15,266 --> 00:30:16,100 THINK ABOUT IT -- IT WORKS 1161 00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:16,633 PERFECTLY. 1162 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:17,800 JUST LIKE A HAMMER, IT'S A TOOL. 1163 00:30:17,866 --> 00:30:18,700 AND LIKE YOUR COMMERCIALS, IT'S 1164 00:30:18,766 --> 00:30:19,333 UNNECESSARY, COMPLICATED, AND I 1165 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:24,666 DON'T LIKE LOOKING AT IT. 1166 00:30:24,733 --> 00:30:26,533 SO PLEASE, MIKE, TAKE THIS IDEA, 1167 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,833 AND TAKE THIS BANANA SLICER TOO. 1168 00:30:29,900 --> 00:30:30,166 AND THAT'S IT! 1169 00:30:30,233 --> 00:30:31,200 THAT'S OUR SHOW! 1170 00:30:31,266 --> 00:30:32,800 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING 1171 00:30:32,866 --> 00:30:34,966 DURING THIS VERY WEIRD TIME. 1172 00:30:35,033 --> 00:30:36,966 THANK YOU TO OUR STAFF 1173 00:30:37,033 --> 00:30:38,200 FOR WORKING SO HARD IN THIS VERY 1174 00:30:38,266 --> 00:30:38,666 DIFFICULT ENVIRONMENT. 1175 00:30:38,733 --> 00:30:39,233 WE'LL BE OFF FOR A COUPLE OF 1176 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:40,266 WEEKS NOW. 1177 00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:41,700 BUT WE WILL BE BACK 1178 00:30:41,766 --> 00:30:43,366 SEPTEMBER 12TH, DEFINITELY IN A 1179 00:30:43,433 --> 00:30:44,500 STUDIO, MAYBE WITH AN AUDIENCE, 1180 00:30:44,566 --> 00:30:45,233 MAYBE NOT. 1181 00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:46,966 WHO KNOWS? 1182 00:30:47,033 --> 00:30:49,166 BUT THE POINT IS, THAT'S IT! 1183 00:30:49,233 --> 00:30:50,600 >> THAT'S IT? 1184 00:30:50,666 --> 00:30:51,466 LIKE... 1185 00:30:51,533 --> 00:30:53,600 YOU'RE ENDING IT? 1186 00:30:53,666 --> 00:30:54,166 >> John: YEAH. 1187 00:30:54,233 --> 00:30:57,033 THAT'S IT. 1188 00:30:57,100 --> 00:30:57,733 THIS IS WHERE YOU AND I SAY 1189 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:58,166 GOODBYE. 1190 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,100 >> YOU KNOW, IT IS OUR LAST 1191 00:30:59,166 --> 00:31:00,433 NIGHT TOGETHER, RIGHT? 1192 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,466 SO YOU DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING? 1193 00:31:02,533 --> 00:31:04,200 >> John: UM... 1194 00:31:04,266 --> 00:31:05,500 >> CONAN GOT A SONG, REMEMBER? 1195 00:31:05,566 --> 00:31:09,533 JACK BLACK SANG A BIG SONG. 1196 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,966 >> John: RIGHT, SORRY, DO YOU 1197 00:31:11,033 --> 00:31:11,566 THINK YOU'RE THE CONAN IN THIS 1198 00:31:11,633 --> 00:31:12,100 DYNAMIC? 1199 00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:12,933 >> I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D PREPARE 1200 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:13,466 SOMETHING. 1201 00:31:13,533 --> 00:31:14,466 BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA -- YEAH -- 1202 00:31:14,533 --> 00:31:15,400 YOU KNOW -- YOU'RE DOING IN YOUR 1203 00:31:15,466 --> 00:31:15,766 WAY. 1204 00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:16,566 THAT'S FINE. 1205 00:31:16,633 --> 00:31:19,433 BYE. 1206 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:20,200 >> John: ALL RIGHT, UM, 1207 00:31:20,266 --> 00:31:20,666 ARE YOU SURE? 1208 00:31:20,733 --> 00:31:21,700 >> YEAH, I SAID I'M FINE. 1209 00:31:21,766 --> 00:31:22,033 SO WE'RE DONE. 1210 00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:22,900 GOODBYE. 1211 00:31:22,966 --> 00:31:25,500 AND DEFINITELY NO SONG. 1212 00:31:25,566 --> 00:31:28,866 >> John: OKAY, WELL, THANKS FOR 1213 00:31:28,933 --> 00:31:30,600 EVERYTHING AND I GUESS, UM, I'LL 1214 00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:33,033 SEE YOU AROUND. 1215 00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:36,166 UM... 1216 00:31:36,233 --> 00:31:40,900 BYE. 1217 00:31:40,966 --> 00:31:42,300 >> ♪ THERE'S A GRIEF 1218 00:31:42,366 --> 00:31:43,833 THAT CAN'T BE SPOKEN ♪ 1219 00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:45,600 ♪ THERE'S A PAIN 1220 00:31:45,666 --> 00:31:48,166 GOES ON AND ON ♪ 1221 00:31:48,233 --> 00:31:51,833 ♪ EMPTY CHAIRS AT EMPTY TABLES ♪ 1222 00:31:51,900 --> 00:31:54,333 ♪ NOW MY FRIENDS 1223 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,200 ARE DEAD AND GONE ♪ 1224 00:31:57,266 --> 00:32:00,300 >> John: I'M NOT DEAD! 1225 00:32:00,366 --> 00:32:03,766 I'M RETURNING TO A STUDIO! 1226 00:32:03,833 --> 00:32:05,933 >> ♪ OH, MY FRIENDS, MY FRIENDS, 1227 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,033 DON'T ASK ME ♪ 1228 00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:08,700 >> John: JESUS CHRIST. 1229 00:32:08,766 --> 00:32:10,300 >> ♪ WHAT YOUR SACRIFICE 1230 00:32:10,366 --> 00:32:13,466 WAS FOR ♪ 1231 00:32:13,533 --> 00:32:15,633 >> John: THIS IS A LOT. 1232 00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:16,600 >> ♪ EMPTY CHAIRS 1233 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:19,066 AT EMPTY TABLES ♪ 1234 00:32:19,133 --> 00:32:21,466 ♪ WHERE MY FRIENDS WILL SING 1235 00:32:21,533 --> 00:32:25,133 NO MORE ♪ 1236 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,600 QUEEN ELIZABETH HAD 1237 00:32:26,666 --> 00:32:27,966 PRINCESS DIANA MURDERED. 1238 00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:28,533 GOOD NIGHT. 1239 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:29,066 >> John: NO, NO, NO, NO, 1240 00:32:29,133 --> 00:32:32,400 NO, NO, NO!