1 00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:22,966 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:29,433 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:30,400 >> John: HI, THERE! 4 00:00:30,466 --> 00:00:32,133 WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 5 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,433 OUR SECOND TO LAST ONE 6 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,266 INCIDENTALLY TAKING PLACE IN 7 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,566 THIS BLANK VOID. 8 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:36,833 >> HEY, EVERYBODY. 9 00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:37,600 >> John: HEY. 10 00:00:37,666 --> 00:00:40,466 >> HEY, JOHN. 11 00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:42,466 I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT 12 00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:44,933 ABOUT, YOU KNOW, YOU AND I IN 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:45,833 THE LAST FEW WEEKS, AND I, YOU 14 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:48,533 KNOW, I AM A VOID. 15 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,133 SOMETIMES I CAN BE CANTANKEROUS 16 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,633 IF YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 17 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:55,066 BUT I DO WANT TO SAY, I ACTUALLY 18 00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:57,833 WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE. 19 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:58,966 >> John: WAIT, REALLY? 20 00:00:59,033 --> 00:00:59,866 >> NO! 21 00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:00,633 [LAUGHS] 22 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:01,166 NOT AT ALL! 23 00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:02,066 >> John: RIGHT. 24 00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:05,366 >> TOTALLY JOKING! 25 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,033 >> John: YEP. 26 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:10,700 >> BYE, I HATE YOU. 27 00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:11,266 get out! 28 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:12,133 >> John: I FIGURED. 29 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,266 >> WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT. 30 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:13,800 >> John: MOVING ON! 31 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:14,400 IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK IN 32 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:14,966 AFGHANISTAN. 33 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:20,033 THE TALIBAN NOW CONTROLS 34 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:20,700 HALF OF THE COUNTRY'S PROVINCIAL 35 00:01:20,766 --> 00:01:21,200 CAPITALS. 36 00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:22,166 IN NEW YORK, ANDREW CUOMO 37 00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:23,033 RESIGNED IN DISGRACE OR AS 38 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,133 CHRIS CUOMO MIGHT SAY... 39 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,166 BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 40 00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:26,933 THE CORONAVIRUS. 41 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:27,466 BECAUSE SADLY, OUR 42 00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:28,400 HOT VAX SUMMER SEEMS TO BE 43 00:01:28,466 --> 00:01:29,266 GIVING WAY TO DIPSHIT AUTUMN 44 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,266 AS THE DELTA VARIANT IS 45 00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:31,266 SPREADING WILDLY AROUND 46 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,366 THE COUNTRY, PARTICULARLY 47 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:34,766 AMONG THE UNVACCINATED, 48 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,200 WITH THE U.S. AVERAGING AROUND 49 00:01:36,266 --> 00:01:38,466 100,000 NEW INFECTIONS A DAY. 50 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,800 AND ALARMINGLY, ROUGHLY 15% OF 51 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,766 NEW CASES OUR CHILDREN, WITH 52 00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:43,333 OVER 250 KIDS BEING NEWLY 53 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,200 HOSPITALIZED EACH DAY. 54 00:01:45,266 --> 00:01:46,900 AND ALL OF THIS MEANS THAT MANY 55 00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:48,400 HOSPITALS ARE YET AGAIN BEING 56 00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:50,600 STRETCHED TO THE BREAKING POINT, 57 00:01:50,666 --> 00:01:52,233 PARTICULARLY IN CERTAIN PARTS OF 58 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:53,833 THE COUNTRY, WITH FLORIDA AND 59 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:59,100 TEXAS ALONE ACCOUNTING FOR 60 00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:00,800 40% OF NEW HOSPITALIZATIONS AND 61 00:02:00,866 --> 00:02:02,233 THE RESPONSE OF FLORIDA'S 62 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:02,900 GOVERNOR HAS BEEN UNDERWHELMING. 63 00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:04,000 >> TODAY, FLORIDA'S GOVERNOR 64 00:02:04,066 --> 00:02:05,033 CONCEDED THINGS MAY LOOK BAD. 65 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,333 >> WE ARE SEEING PEOPLE TESTING 66 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,800 POSITIVE IN HIGHER NUMBERS THAN 67 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:08,566 I THINK MOST PEOPLE 68 00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:11,133 ANTICIPATED. 69 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,100 >> BUT HIS MESSAGE: DEAL WITH 70 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:12,766 IT. 71 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:13,533 >> IT'S AIRBORNE. 72 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,066 IT'S AEROSOLIZED. 73 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:16,700 AND SO WE JUST HAVE TO 74 00:02:16,766 --> 00:02:17,666 UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN THAT'S 75 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:19,033 HAPPENING, THESE WAVES ARE 76 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,133 SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE TO 77 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,566 DEAL WITH. 78 00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:23,766 >> John: WOW, THE WORLD CHANGES 79 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:25,366 SO QUICKLY, DOESN'T IT? 80 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:26,266 IF YOU HAD TOLD ME JUST 81 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:27,333 A FEW YEARS AGO THAT FLORIDA'S 82 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,366 REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR WOULD 83 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:30,366 RESPOND TO A DEADLY THREAT WITH 84 00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:31,466 "THESE WAVES ARE SOMETHING YOU 85 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:32,700 JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH," I'D 86 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:33,800 HAVE ASSUMED THEY WERE TALKING 87 00:02:33,866 --> 00:02:35,500 ABOUT MIAMI SINKING INTO A 88 00:02:35,566 --> 00:02:37,000 WARMING OCEAN, NOT A COMPLETELY 89 00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:38,666 DIFFERENT, TOTALLY SELF-INDUCED 90 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:40,033 CRISIS. 91 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,666 AND IT'S PRETTY TOUGH TO HEAR 92 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:43,200 THIS CUT-RATE COACH TAYLOR 93 00:02:43,266 --> 00:02:44,366 SAYING, "JUST DEAL WITH IT" WHEN 94 00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:45,233 HE SEEMS TO BE VERY MUCH NOT 95 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,366 DOING THAT. 96 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,133 JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO, DeSANTIS 97 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,800 ISSUED AN ORDER BANNING SCHOOL 98 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:51,766 MASK MANDATES -- MAKING FLORIDA 99 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:52,866 ONE OF AT LEAST SEVEN STATES 100 00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:53,766 NOW PROHIBITING SCHOOLS FROM 101 00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:55,266 IMPOSING THEM. 102 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:57,333 AND SCHOOL BOARD MEETINGS AROUND 103 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,433 THE COUNTRY HAVE SEEN FIERY 104 00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:59,866 EXCHANGES ABOUT THIS ISSUE. 105 00:02:59,933 --> 00:03:01,300 IN NORTH CAROLINA, 106 00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:02,533 REPRESENTATIVE MADISON CAWTHORN 107 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,800 SHOWED UP TO ONE, TO DO WHATEVER 108 00:03:03,866 --> 00:03:05,466 THIS IS. 109 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,933 >> THE GREATEST THREAT TO OUR 110 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:07,766 CHILDREN TODAY DOES NOT COME 111 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:09,500 FROM COVID-19. 112 00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:10,800 IT COMES FROM WOKE, LIBERAL 113 00:03:10,866 --> 00:03:12,066 GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS LIKE YOU 114 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:12,966 WHO THINK THEY ARE ALL KNOWING 115 00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:17,133 AND ALL WISE. 116 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,533 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 117 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,566 I'M A DIRECT DESCENDANT OF 118 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,200 ABRAHAM KUYKENDALL, ONE OF THE 119 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:23,933 FIRST MEN TO SETTLE THIS COUNTY. 120 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,933 HE KNEW HARDSHIP FIRSTHAND. 121 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,933 HE DID NOT ENDURE THAT HARDSHIP 122 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,133 JUST SO A WOKE SCHOOL BOARD CAN 123 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,000 BEGIN TO SYSTEMATICALLY STRIP 124 00:03:32,066 --> 00:03:32,900 THE RESPONSIBILITY FROM THE 125 00:03:32,966 --> 00:03:39,166 HANDS OF PARENTS AND GUARDIANS 126 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:39,300 O 127 00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:40,133 TO DETERMINE WHAT TO HAPPENS 128 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:40,633 WITH THEIR CHILDREN. 129 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,000 >> John: WOW. 130 00:03:42,066 --> 00:03:43,233 SO MADISON CAWTHORN THINKS THE 131 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,700 BIGGEST THREAT TO CHILDREN IS 132 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,566 SCHOOL BOARD MEMBERS WHO THINK 133 00:03:45,633 --> 00:03:46,166 THEY'RE OMNISCIENT. 134 00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:47,200 I'D SAY I WAS SURPRISED, 135 00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:48,200 BUT THIS IS A MAN WHO ONCE 136 00:03:48,266 --> 00:03:49,100 POSTED THIS VIDEO OF HIMSELF 137 00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:50,000 BEATING UP A TREE. 138 00:03:50,066 --> 00:03:51,100 SO HE CLEARLY LOVES TO PICK 139 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:51,733 USELESS FIGHTS AGAINST IMAGINARY 140 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:52,733 OPPONENTS WHERE HE COMES OUT 141 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,500 LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. 142 00:03:56,566 --> 00:03:58,533 ALSO, A QUICK SIDE NOTE ABOUT 143 00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,033 HIM BRAGGING ABOUT BEING 144 00:03:59,100 --> 00:03:59,866 A DESCENDANT OF 145 00:03:59,933 --> 00:04:01,000 ABRAHAM KUYKENDALL. 146 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:01,733 NOT ONLY DOES THAT LAST NAME 147 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,633 SOUND LIKE THE SWEDISH 148 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,633 TRANSLATION FOR BRATZ DOLLS, 149 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,233 FOR THE RECORD, 150 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,033 ABRAHAM KIRKENDALL -- WHICH IS 151 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,733 HOW IT'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED -- 152 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,233 WAS ONE OF THE EARLIEST 153 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,266 SLAVE OWNERS IN THE COUNTY. 154 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,500 SO NEXT TIME YOU'RE TRYING TO 155 00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:13,266 PROVE A POINT ABOUT HOW PARENTS 156 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,133 SHOULD DECIDE WHAT'S BEST FOR 157 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,733 THEIR KIDS, MAYBE DON'T USE 158 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,966 A GUY WHO DECIDED THE BEST THING 159 00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:19,266 FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS WAS FOR 160 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,066 HIM TO OWN THEM. 161 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:22,100 AND THAT WAS BY NO MEANS 162 00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:23,266 THE ONLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE 163 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:27,233 HISTORICAL REFERENCE DURING 164 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:27,666 A DEBATE THIS WEEK. 165 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:28,400 >> JUST AFTER THE FOX CHAPEL 166 00:04:28,466 --> 00:04:29,566 SCHOOL BOARD VOTED FOR STUDENTS 167 00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:30,533 TO WEAR MASKS AS THE NEW SCHOOL 168 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:31,633 YEAR BEGINS, PEOPLE AT THE 169 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,033 MEETING STARTED ARGUING WITH 170 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,666 THE BOARD, BEFORE THIS PERSON 171 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:36,566 APPEARS TO FLASH A NAZI SALUTE 172 00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:38,633 AT THE BOARD. 173 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:39,366 THE HOLOCAUST CENTER OF 174 00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:40,633 PITTSBURGH SAYS THERE IS 175 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,666 NO COMPARISON BETWEEN 176 00:04:41,733 --> 00:04:42,433 THE HOLOCAUST AND MASKING 177 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,900 CHILDREN IN SCHOOLS. 178 00:04:44,966 --> 00:04:46,700 >> John: OKAY, I APPRECIATE 179 00:04:46,766 --> 00:04:47,533 THE EFFORT, BUT YOU REALLY DID 180 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,733 NOT NEED TO ASK THE HOLOCAUST 181 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,000 CENTER TO FACT CHECK THAT. 182 00:04:51,066 --> 00:04:53,066 FOR THE SAME REASON YOU DON'T 183 00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:53,600 NEED TO CONTACT AN AFRICAN 184 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:54,100 STUDIES CENTER TO ASK IF 185 00:04:54,166 --> 00:04:55,066 THE RWANDAN GENOCIDE WAS AS 186 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:56,500 BAD AS GETTING A POPCORN KERNEL 187 00:04:56,566 --> 00:04:57,833 STUCK IN YOUR TEETH. 188 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,366 IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THE 189 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:00,666 ANSWER, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND 190 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:01,333 EITHER OF THE THINGS YOU'RE 191 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,533 COMPARING. 192 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,166 AND LOOK, WHEN TEMPERS ARE THIS 193 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,300 HIGH, IT CAN BE HARD TO SORT 194 00:05:06,366 --> 00:05:07,133 THINGS THROUGH IN A NUANCED WAY, 195 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,333 BUT LET'S TRY. 196 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,800 BECAUSE FIRST, WE CAN AGREE: 197 00:05:10,866 --> 00:05:12,066 FOR MOST KIDS, IN-PERSON 198 00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:13,666 SCHOOLING IS VASTLY PREFERABLE 199 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:16,433 TO THE ONLINE KIND. 200 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:17,333 THE QUESTION IS, HOW TO DO IT 201 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,233 SAFELY. 202 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,866 AND THOSE OPPOSED TO 203 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:20,866 MASK MANDATES ARGUE THAT, 204 00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,066 SINCE COVID CASES IN CHILDREN 205 00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:23,600 HAVE TENDED TO BE MILD -- WHICH 206 00:05:23,666 --> 00:05:24,900 IS, THANKFULLY, TRUE -- THE 207 00:05:24,966 --> 00:05:26,366 DOWNSIDES OF THEM WEARING MASKS 208 00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:30,366 OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS. 209 00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:31,933 BUT THAT IS A BIG SWING. 210 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,700 THERE IS STILL SO MUCH WE DON'T 211 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:34,600 KNOW ABOUT HOW LONG-TERM COVID, 212 00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:35,700 AND THE DELTA VARIANT, AFFECT 213 00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:37,100 KIDS. 214 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,966 AND WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT 215 00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:41,200 COVID IS SIGNIFICANTLY MORE 216 00:05:41,266 --> 00:05:42,100 DEADLY FOR ADULTS, AND IN MANY 217 00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,266 COMMUNITIES, FOR SOME FUCKING 218 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,366 REASON, THERE ARE A LOT OF 219 00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:46,333 UNVACCINATED ADULTS TO WHOM KIDS 220 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,600 COULD TRANSMIT THE VIRUS. 221 00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:49,833 BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ANY OF 222 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,400 THAT NUANCE IS BEING FACTORED 223 00:05:51,466 --> 00:05:52,933 INTO THIS DISCUSSION, 224 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:53,933 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU SEE SCENES 225 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,233 LIKE PEOPLE BEING HARASSED 226 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,666 OUTSIDE THIS TENNESSEE SCHOOL 227 00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,000 BOARD MEETING, WITH A MAN WHO 228 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:58,966 SPOKE IN FAVOR OF MASK 229 00:05:59,033 --> 00:06:00,766 REQUIREMENTS BEING CONFRONTED 230 00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:01,666 LIKE THIS: 231 00:06:01,733 --> 00:06:02,533 >> EVERYBODY'S TAKING NOTES, 232 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,933 BUDDY! 233 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:04,800 KEEP THAT LITTLE SMILE. 234 00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:06,866 >> WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 235 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:07,900 YOU CAN LEAVE FREELY BUT WE WILL 236 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 FIND YOU AND WE KNOW WHO YOU 237 00:06:09,066 --> 00:06:10,266 ARE. 238 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:14,533 WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 239 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,966 >> John: HOLY SHIT. 240 00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:17,000 IT'S GENUINELY HARD TO IMAGINE 241 00:06:17,066 --> 00:06:18,433 A FIVE-WORD PHRASE LESS WELCOME 242 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,233 THAN "WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE," 243 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,633 ASIDE FROM, OBVIOUSLY, "NEW 244 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,000 "JEOPARDY" HOST MIKE RICHARDS." 245 00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:24,566 AND LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING MASKS, 246 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:25,766 IN AND OF THEMSELVES, 247 00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,000 ARE A PERFECT SHIELD AGAINST 248 00:06:27,066 --> 00:06:29,100 TRANSMISSION. 249 00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:30,166 THEY'RE NOT! 250 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,166 EXPERTS ARGUE THEY SHOULD BE 251 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:32,633 PART OF A LAYERED APPROACH -- 252 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:34,200 LIKE ENSURING PROPER VENTILATION 253 00:06:34,266 --> 00:06:35,233 IN SCHOOLS, MAINTAINING SOCIAL 254 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,433 DISTANCING, AND REQUIRING THAT 255 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,333 EVERYONE IN A SCHOOL WHO CAN GET 256 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,800 A VACCINE DOES. 257 00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:45,733 THE PROBLEM IS, IT'S NOT LIKE 258 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,000 SOME OF THESE STATES ARE SAYING, 259 00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:48,666 "OKAY, WE'LL TAKE EVERY 260 00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:49,633 REASONABLE PRECAUTION, EXCEPT 261 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,500 FOR MASKS." 262 00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:51,300 BECAUSE IN TEXAS, THEY'RE DOING 263 00:06:51,366 --> 00:06:52,166 THIS. 264 00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:53,033 >> THE TEXAS EDUCATION AGENCY 265 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:53,800 RELEASED NEW GUIDANCE REGARDING 266 00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:55,066 COVID-19 AND SCHOOLS. 267 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,633 UNDER THE NEW GUIDELINES, 268 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,566 SCHOOLS ARE NOT REQUIRED TO 269 00:06:58,633 --> 00:07:00,800 INFORM PARENTS OF A POSITIVE 270 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:02,666 CASE, SCHOOLS DO NOT HAVE TO 271 00:07:02,733 --> 00:07:03,800 CONDUCT CONTACT TRACING, AND 272 00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:05,500 IF A SCHOOL DOES CONTACT TRACE, 273 00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:07,033 PARENTS CAN STILL SEND THEIR 274 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,666 CHILD TO SCHOOL IF THEY ARE 275 00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:09,966 A CLOSE CONTACT OF AN INFECTED 276 00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:13,166 STUDENT. 277 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:13,766 >> John: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU 278 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,333 DOING? 279 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,933 THE PHRASE, "EVERYTHING'S BIGGER 280 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:18,966 IN TEXAS" IS SUPPOSED TO REFER 281 00:07:19,033 --> 00:07:19,700 TO MEAT, TRUCKS, AND BELT 282 00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:20,666 BUCKLES, NOT "THE MARKET FOR 283 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:22,933 CHILD-SIZED VENTILATORS." 284 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,466 AND I KNOW SOME KIDS LITERALLY 285 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,200 CAN'T WEAR A MASK ALL DAY. 286 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,933 BUT THAT'S ALL THE MORE REASON 287 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,066 THAT, UNTIL TRANSMISSION IS IN 288 00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:32,600 CHECK, ANYONE WHO CAN, DOES. 289 00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:34,766 AND BOTH THE CDC AND THE 290 00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:35,933 AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS 291 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,400 -- REPRESENTING NEARLY 70,000 292 00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:39,500 DOCTORS -- ARE ARGUING FOR 293 00:07:39,566 --> 00:07:40,566 UNIVERSAL INDOOR MASKING FOR 294 00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:41,800 KIDS. 295 00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,866 AND THE THING IS, YOU CAN'T HELP 296 00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:45,333 THINKING THAT SOME OF THE FUSS 297 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,633 OVER MASKS IS MORE ABOUT 298 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,400 PARENTS THAN IT IS ABOUT THEIR 299 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:49,300 KIDS. 300 00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:50,400 IN FACT, JUST WATCH AS ONE 301 00:07:50,466 --> 00:07:52,033 BASICALLY ADMITS THAT. 302 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:52,633 >> WELL, I MEAN, HONESTLY, 303 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,533 IT'S JUST CRAZY. 304 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,566 I MEAN, LAST TIME I CHECKED, 305 00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:57,900 THIS IS AMERICA, AND YOU CAN'T 306 00:07:57,966 --> 00:07:58,800 MAKE ANYBODY DO ANYTHING. 307 00:07:58,866 --> 00:07:59,800 I MEAN, I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT 308 00:07:59,866 --> 00:08:01,600 PEOPLE DIED FOR, OUR FREEDOM. 309 00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:03,033 LAST YEAR, HE DID HAVE TO WEAR 310 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,500 A MASK, AND YOU KNOW, HONESTLY, 311 00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:07,066 HE THINKS IT'S COOL. 312 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:07,866 I'M GONNA JUST -- I'M NOT GONNA 313 00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:08,533 LIE, YOU KNOW, HE THINKS HE'S A 314 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:09,300 NINJA. 315 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:10,333 AND I SAY, "SON, DON'T -- DON'T 316 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,033 SAY THAT, WHEN THEY -- WHEN THEY 317 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:11,866 ASK YOU IF YOU LIKE TO WEAR A 318 00:08:11,933 --> 00:08:12,133 MASK." 319 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:12,866 BUT, YOU KNOW. 320 00:08:12,933 --> 00:08:14,000 IT DOESN'T REALLY AFFECT HIM, 321 00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:15,200 I GUESS, RIGHT NOW, BUT, 322 00:08:15,266 --> 00:08:15,933 YOU KNOW, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S 323 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,800 GOING ON. 324 00:08:16,866 --> 00:08:18,700 >> John: OH, COME ON! 325 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:19,600 IF YOUR KID HAPPENS TO LIKE 326 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,866 WEARING A MASK, LET THEM FUCKING 327 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:21,800 WEAR IT! 328 00:08:21,866 --> 00:08:23,266 DO YOU REALIZE HOW RARE IT IS 329 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,666 FOR A CHILD TO VOLUNTARILY DO 330 00:08:24,733 --> 00:08:26,266 SOMETHING THAT'S A NET POSITIVE 331 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,433 FOR PUBLIC HEALTH? 332 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,833 KIDS ARE NORMALLY JUST MOVING 333 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,133 SNOT DISPENSARIES THAT RUN 334 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,633 AROUND COUGHING ON DOOR KNOBS, 335 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:33,766 AND SNEEZING DIRECTLY INTO 336 00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:35,600 PEOPLE'S MOUTHS. 337 00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,533 LOOK, THE KEY THING TO REMEMBER 338 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,533 IS THAT THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING 339 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,166 WE CAN DO TO KEEP COVID FROM 340 00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:42,366 SPREADING IN SCHOOLS ISN'T 341 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:42,966 SIMPLY PUTTING MASKS ON 342 00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,366 CHILDREN. 343 00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:46,300 IT'S FOR THE WHOLE COMMUNITY 344 00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:47,000 SURROUNDING THAT SCHOOL TO BE 345 00:08:47,066 --> 00:08:51,866 VACCINATED. 346 00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:52,633 IT IS NO COINCIDENCE THAT THE 347 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,733 FIRST LARGE WAVE OF COVID CASES 348 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,933 IN CHILDREN IS HITTING 349 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,533 LOW-VACCINATION STATES. 350 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,866 SO YOU REALLY WANT TO PROTECT 351 00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:58,400 THE HEALTH OF CHILDREN AND 352 00:08:58,466 --> 00:09:00,766 THE COMMUNITY THEY LIVE IN? 353 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:02,100 HERE'S YOUR FUCKING ANSWER: 354 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,933 WE ARE ONLY FIGHTING ABOUT MASKS 355 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,600 IN SCHOOLS BECAUSE THERE ARE 356 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:06,566 A BUNCH OF FOOLISH ADULTS THAT 357 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:07,400 HAVE DECIDED NOT TO GET THE 358 00:09:07,466 --> 00:09:08,733 VACCINE. 359 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,366 AND TO ALL OF THEM, I CAN ONLY 360 00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:11,200 SAY -- TO QUOTE A BUNCH OF 361 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,500 UPSETTINGLY LOUD IDIOTS -- 362 00:09:14,566 --> 00:09:15,500 "WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE" AND YOU'RE 363 00:09:15,566 --> 00:09:16,900 THE FUCKING PROBLEM. 364 00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:17,966 AND NOW, THIS. 365 00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:18,666 ♪ ♪ 366 00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:25,300 >> Announcer: AND NOW... 367 00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:28,166 PETE NELSON FROM "TREE HOUSE 368 00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:28,766 MASTERS" REALLY, REALLY LIKES 369 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:29,000 TREES. 370 00:09:29,066 --> 00:09:30,533 ♪ ♪ 371 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,366 >> BOY, THIS IS A GREAT LOOKING 372 00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,700 TREE, THESE MAPLES. 373 00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:35,333 A POPLAR. 374 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,866 A LOT OF PINE. 375 00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:38,533 OAK TREES. 376 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:38,933 EASTERN HEMLOCKS. 377 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:39,166 [LAUGHS] 378 00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:42,666 LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL TUNNEL OF 379 00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:43,333 LOVE. 380 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,800 LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS 381 00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:46,233 GORGEOUS, BIG OAK! 382 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,333 I WOULD RATHER BE IN A TREE THAT 383 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,133 IS IN ITS ADOLESCENT YEARS, IF 384 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:50,733 YOU WILL. 385 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,300 HAVING JUST SAID THAT, IF THERE 386 00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:54,100 IS A BIG, BEAUTIFUL MATURE OAK 387 00:09:54,166 --> 00:09:56,100 THAT HAS CLEARLY BEEN AROUND A 388 00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:57,333 LONG TIME, YOU GET SO ATTRACTED 389 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,100 TO THOSE TOO THAT YOU CAN'T HELP 390 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,733 YOURSELF. 391 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,233 >> THERE WAS A LITTLE 392 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:01,833 COMMUNICATION THERE BETWEEN ME 393 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,533 AND THE BIG GUY THAT WAS LIKE, 394 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,400 LET'S DO THIS. 395 00:10:04,466 --> 00:10:05,733 >> IT IS ASKING FOR IT. 396 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,600 IT WANTS US TO BE HERE. 397 00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:08,900 I SAW THEM EARLIER BUT I DIDN'T 398 00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:11,066 WANT TO JUMP HER BONES RIGHT 399 00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:11,300 AWAY. 400 00:10:11,366 --> 00:10:12,366 THESE ARE REGAL. 401 00:10:12,433 --> 00:10:13,866 >> IT'S THE KING OF THE FOREST. 402 00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:16,033 >> WE HAVE HAD THIS THING GOING 403 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,266 FOR ABOUT SEVEN YEARS. 404 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:19,733 I THINK IT SENSES THAT NOW IS 405 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,000 THE TIME. 406 00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:21,700 >> MY TREE JUICES ARE PUMPING. 407 00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:24,566 >> I AM FEELING SOMETHING REALLY 408 00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:25,533 GOOD RIGHT IN HERE. 409 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,666 >> I AM BUZZING RIGHT NOW. 410 00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:29,066 >> FEELS REALLY GOOD. 411 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,700 >> THIS FEELS GREAT. 412 00:10:30,766 --> 00:10:34,366 >> THIS IS FANTASTIC. 413 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,933 >> OH! 414 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,800 >> John: MOVING ON. 415 00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:38,633 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS 416 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:39,333 THE INTERNET. 417 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,366 IT IS A HORRIBLE PLACE THAT 418 00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:41,500 EVERYONE HATES, WHICH IS A 419 00:10:41,566 --> 00:10:42,466 LITTLE WEIRD, AS IT'S GIVEN US 420 00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:43,300 ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT WE WERE 421 00:10:43,366 --> 00:10:44,366 PROMISED IN THIS NEARLY 422 00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:45,833 PRESCIENT AD FROM 1993. 423 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:48,333 >> HAVE YOU EVER BORROWED A BOOK 424 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,900 FROM THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY? 425 00:10:51,966 --> 00:10:55,333 CROSSED THE COUNTRY WITHOUT 426 00:10:55,400 --> 00:11:00,266 STOPPING FOR DIRECTIONS? 427 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:05,033 OR SENT SOMEONE A FAX 428 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,566 FROM THE BEACH? 429 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,600 YOU WILL. 430 00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:11,000 AND THE COMPANY THAT'LL BRING IT 431 00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:12,966 TO YOU: AT&T. 432 00:11:13,033 --> 00:11:14,500 >> John: WOW, THAT WAS 433 00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:15,266 TWO-THIRDS OF THE WAY TO 434 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,333 SHOCKINGLY ACCURATE. 435 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,033 eBOOKS? 436 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:17,800 CHECK. 437 00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:18,566 GPS? 438 00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:19,300 CHECK. 439 00:11:19,366 --> 00:11:20,833 BEACH FAX? 440 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,200 NOT IN THIS OR ANY OTHER 441 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,400 LIFETIME. 442 00:11:23,466 --> 00:11:24,633 ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, IF THERE 443 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,466 WAS ONE COMPANY THAT WOULD GO 444 00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:27,333 ALL IN ON A DOOMED TECHNOLOGY 445 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:27,933 LIKE SAND-FAXING, IT WOULD BE 446 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,233 AT&T. 447 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,500 SPECIFICALLY, I WANT TO TALK 448 00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:34,600 ABOUT ONE OF THE MORE DAMAGING 449 00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:35,566 THINGS THE INTERNET HAS ENABLED, 450 00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:36,900 AND THAT'S RANSOMWARE ATTACKS -- 451 00:11:36,966 --> 00:11:38,433 BASICALLY, INCIDENTS WHERE 452 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,600 HACKERS GET INTO A COMPUTER, 453 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,500 LOCK UP THE DATA, AND THEN FORCE 454 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:41,766 THE OWNERS TO PAY A RANSOM 455 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,766 IN ORDER TO UNLOCK IT. 456 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:44,966 YOU MAY HAVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT 457 00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:46,233 THEM RECENTLY. 458 00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:47,733 BACK IN MAY, A RANSOMWARE ATTACK 459 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,433 SHUT DOWN A TOP U.S. GAS 460 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,000 PIPELINE -- THE COLONIAL 461 00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:52,933 PIPELINE, A MAJOR ARTERY FOR 462 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,600 FUEL ALONG THE EAST COAST. 463 00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:55,966 AND WHILE THE COMPANY STRESSED 464 00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,666 THERE WAS STILL PLENTY OF GAS 465 00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:59,666 AVAILABLE, JUST THE VERY IDEA 466 00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,133 THAT THERE MIGHT BE A SHORTAGE 467 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,833 LED TO CHAOS. 468 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,833 >> THE LINES FOR GAS GETTING 469 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:06,166 LONGER, FROM THE CAROLINAS, 470 00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,900 DOWN TO FLORIDA, 471 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:09,300 PANICKED DRIVERS OVERWHELMING 472 00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:10,266 GAS STATIONS. 473 00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:11,866 ACROSS THE SOUTHEAST, 474 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:14,166 DEMAND IS UP 40%. 475 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,566 PRICES AT THE PUMP INCHING UP 476 00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:16,900 TOO. 477 00:12:16,966 --> 00:12:17,900 >> I'LL SPEND THAT EXTRA 478 00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:19,200 FEW BUCKS. 479 00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:20,400 THAT'S THE WAY IT IS. 480 00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:23,166 >> I JUST KINDA HEARD THERE WAS 481 00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:24,133 GONNA BE A RUN ON GAS AND WE 482 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:24,866 FIGURED I BETTER GET IT NOW. 483 00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,333 >> John: YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE! 484 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,666 "THERE WON'T BE A RUN ON GAS 485 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:29,100 UNLESS EVERYONE IS AN IDIOT, 486 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,466 WHICH MEANS THERE'S DEFINITELY 487 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:31,266 GOING TO BE A RUN ON GAS, 488 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,033 SO I MIGHT AS WELL BE A FASTER 489 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,466 IDIOT." 490 00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:34,833 HE'S NOT WRONG, BUT IT'S PEOPLE 491 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,000 LIKE THAT GUY THAT MAKE 492 00:12:36,066 --> 00:12:37,166 EVERYTHING COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE 493 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,633 ALL OF THE TIME. 494 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:39,766 SO THANKS, "THAT GUY." 495 00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:41,300 LIFE JUST WOULDN'T BE THE SAME 496 00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:45,633 WITHOUT YOU, AND I REALLY WISH 497 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:46,933 LIFE WEREN'T ALWAYS THE SAME. 498 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:47,866 THE SCALE OF THE COLONIAL HACK 499 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,166 WAS TRULY REMARKABLE. 500 00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:50,233 AND THEN IN JULY, THE I.T. 501 00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,400 SOFTWARE COMPANY KASEYA GOT HIT 502 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,200 WITH AN EVEN BIGGER HACK. 503 00:12:53,266 --> 00:12:54,733 AND SINCE ITS JOB WAS TO PUSH 504 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,000 SOFTWARE TO OTHER COMPANIES, 505 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,933 THAT MEANT THAT HUNDREDS OF 506 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:58,933 KASEYA'S CLIENTS, AND CLIENTS' 507 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,400 CLIENTS, LIKE A GROCERY STORE 508 00:13:00,466 --> 00:13:02,700 CHAIN, A PUBLIC BROADCASTER, 509 00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:03,666 SCHOOLS, AND A NATIONAL RAILWAY 510 00:13:03,733 --> 00:13:06,266 SYSTEM WERE ALSO COMPROMISED. 511 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,333 AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "IS IT 512 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,900 JUST ME, OR DID THERE NOT USED 513 00:13:08,966 --> 00:13:12,100 TO BE A MASSIVE RANSOMWARE 514 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,200 ATTACK EVERY TWO MONTHS?" 515 00:13:13,266 --> 00:13:14,466 YOU'RE ACTUALLY RIGHT. 516 00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:16,600 OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS, IT'S 517 00:13:16,666 --> 00:13:17,866 GONE FROM A TRICKLE TO A FLOOD. 518 00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:19,466 THE ESTIMATED TOTAL RANSOMS PAID 519 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,733 QUADRUPLED TO $350 MILLION 520 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,866 LAST YEAR. 521 00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:26,233 AND THAT IS DEFINITELY AN 522 00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:27,333 UNDERCOUNT, BECAUSE COMPANIES 523 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,933 OFTEN DON'T PUBLICLY DISCLOSE 524 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,333 RANSOMWARE ATTACKS, FOR FEAR OF 525 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,966 NEGATIVE PRESS OR LAWSUITS. 526 00:13:34,033 --> 00:13:36,633 AND IT'S NOT JUST COMPANIES 527 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:37,300 INVOLVED HERE. 528 00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:38,366 EVERYONE IS VULNERABLE TO 529 00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,266 RANSOMWARE, EVEN THIS WOMAN. 530 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,333 >> INNA SIMONE IS RETIRED. 531 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,533 SHE'S A MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER 532 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,466 FROM RUSSIA WHO NOW LIVES 533 00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:43,533 OUTSIDE OF BOSTON. 534 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,466 IN THE FALL OF 2014, HER HOME 535 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,266 COMPUTER STARTED ACTING 536 00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:48,166 STRANGELY. 537 00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:49,233 INNA SAW DOZENS OF THESE 538 00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:49,766 MESSAGES. 539 00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:50,966 THEY WERE ALL THE SAME. 540 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,000 THEY READ, "YOUR FILES ARE 541 00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:52,933 ENCRYPTED. 542 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,500 TO GET THE KEY TO DECRYPT THEM, 543 00:13:54,566 --> 00:13:55,966 YOU HAVE TO PAY $500." 544 00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:58,233 ALL HER FILES WERE LOCKED, 545 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,833 TAX RETURNS, FINANCIAL PAPERS, 546 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,200 LETTERS, EVEN THE PRECIOUS 547 00:14:01,266 --> 00:14:03,333 PHOTOS OF HER GRANDDAUGHTER. 548 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,433 TUESDAY AFTERNOON, THE FULL 549 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:05,633 RANSOM WAS SENT TO THE HACKERS' 550 00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:06,400 ACCOUNT. 551 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,433 INNA INSERTED ONE SHORT 552 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,133 MESSAGE TO THE CRIMINALS WITH 553 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,400 HER PAYMENT. 554 00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:13,366 >> I WROTE, "I WISH YOU ALL WILL 555 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:15,466 DROP DEAD." 556 00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:17,066 >> John: YEAH. 557 00:14:17,133 --> 00:14:18,400 YOU ALMOST FORGOT THAT WOMAN 558 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:19,066 WAS GOING TO BE RUSSIAN 559 00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:21,066 FOR A MOMENT, DIDN'T YOU? 560 00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:22,433 AND THEN SHE'S REALLY RUSSIAN. 561 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,066 SHE IS ENJOYING HERSELF. 562 00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,533 YOU CAN TELL THIS ISN'T THE 563 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,133 FIRST TIME SHE'S WISHED DEATH 564 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,000 ON SOMEONE, AND ALSO, THAT THIS 565 00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:29,333 WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME HER 566 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,433 WISH CAME TRUE. 567 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,200 SO IF IT'S SO PERVASIVE, 568 00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:34,833 IT'S AFFECTING PIPELINES AND 569 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,966 GRANDMOTHERS, WE THOUGHT 570 00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,900 TONIGHT, WE'D TAKE A LOOK AT 571 00:14:38,966 --> 00:14:39,466 RANSOMWARE, WHY IT'S ON THE 572 00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:40,500 RISE, AND WHAT, IF ANYTHING, 573 00:14:40,566 --> 00:14:41,266 CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT. 574 00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:42,033 AND LET'S START WITH SOME 575 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,900 HISTORY. 576 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,600 THE FIRST RANSOMWARE ATTACK 577 00:14:45,666 --> 00:14:46,833 ACTUALLY OCCURRED BACK IN 1989, 578 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,833 WHEN A MAN NAMED JOSEPH POPP 579 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,333 MAILED 20,000 FLOPPY DISKS TO 580 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,900 PUBLIC HEALTH RESEARCHERS 581 00:14:51,966 --> 00:14:53,100 THAT HE CLAIMED CONTAINED AIDS 582 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:53,700 RESEARCH. 583 00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:55,233 BUT WHEN THEY INSERTED THE DISK, 584 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,733 THEIR COMPUTERS WERE INFECTED 585 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,366 WITH MALWARE, THEIR FILES WERE 586 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:00,233 LOCKED UP, AND THE PROGRAM 587 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,500 DEMANDED THEY MAIL $189 588 00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,233 TO A P.O. BOX IN PANAMA. 589 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,600 THAT'S RIGHT: THIS IS A 590 00:15:04,666 --> 00:15:06,333 CYBERCRIME SO OLD, IT USED TO 591 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,900 REQUIRE A BUNCH OF FLOPPY DISKS 592 00:15:07,966 --> 00:15:10,700 AND TWO PHYSICAL MAILMEN. 593 00:15:10,766 --> 00:15:12,500 OH, AND FUN FACT: AFTER BEING 594 00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:13,800 ARRESTED, POPP CLAIMED IN COURT 595 00:15:13,866 --> 00:15:15,466 THAT HE HAD PLANNED TO DONATE 596 00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:17,433 THAT RANSOM MONEY TO AIDS 597 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,866 RESEARCH, WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE 598 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:19,700 HE HAD STOLEN THAT MONEY 599 00:15:19,766 --> 00:15:20,600 FROM AIDS RESEARCHERS 600 00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,633 IN THE FIRST PLACE. 601 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,633 HE'S LIKE ROBIN HOOD, 602 00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,400 IF ROBIN HOOD HAD GONE AROUND 603 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,733 TAKING MONEY FROM THE POOR AND 604 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,766 PROMISING THE POOR HE'D GIVE IT 605 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:30,066 BACK LATER. 606 00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:31,933 BUT OBVIOUSLY, RANSOMWARE 607 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:32,966 DOESN'T COME IN VIA FLOPPY DISK 608 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,000 ANY MORE. 609 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,600 INSTEAD, IT GETS INTO YOUR 610 00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:36,800 SYSTEM THROUGH THE INTERNET, 611 00:15:36,866 --> 00:15:38,233 WITH A MESSAGE LIKE THIS. 612 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,000 >> THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE 613 00:15:39,066 --> 00:15:41,866 WHEN YOU GET ATTACKED. 614 00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:43,200 IT SAYS, YOUR NETWORK HAS BEEN 615 00:15:43,266 --> 00:15:44,333 INFECTED, RIGHT THERE IN BIG RED 616 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,466 TYPE. 617 00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:46,133 YOUR DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN 618 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,300 ENCRYPTED. 619 00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:51,500 AND NOW TO GET THEM BACK, 620 00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:52,133 YOU HAVE TO PAY, IS WHAT THIS 621 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:52,700 RANSOM NOTE IS TELLING YOU. 622 00:15:52,766 --> 00:15:53,933 THERE'S A COUNTDOWN CLOCK 623 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,166 THERE LETTING YOU KNOW YOU HAVE 624 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,133 JUST LIMITED TIME HERE TO TAKE 625 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,100 ACTION AND PAY THESE HACKERS OR 626 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,266 ELSE THE PRICE IS GOING TO GO UP 627 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:00,933 AND YOU MIGHT NOT GET YOUR DATA 628 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,866 BACK. 629 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,000 >> John: YEAH, THAT'S NOT A 630 00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:04,566 MESSAGE YOU WANT TO SEE 631 00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:05,900 ON YOUR SCREEN. 632 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,566 AND WHILE THEY'RE SCARY ENOUGH 633 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,533 IN THAT FORM, SOME ATTACKS CAN 634 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,266 BE CARTOONISHLY TERRIFYING. 635 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,200 HERE'S ONE FEATURING 636 00:16:11,266 --> 00:16:12,400 THE ANNABELLE DOLL. 637 00:16:12,466 --> 00:16:15,000 HERE'S ONE WITH THE PUPPET 638 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:17,600 FROM "SAW." 639 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:18,500 NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT! 640 00:16:18,566 --> 00:16:19,166 AND HERE'S ONE WITH 641 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,333 THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE SCREAMING 642 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,366 "FUCK YOU" AND SAYING THE ONLY 643 00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:23,233 WAY TO UNLOCK YOUR COMPUTER IS 644 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,900 TO SEND HIM AT LEAST TEN NUDES, 645 00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:26,833 WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE IS A 646 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:27,966 REFERENCE TO THE UNAIRED FINAL 647 00:16:28,033 --> 00:16:28,833 EPISODE OF "THOMAS AND FRIENDS" 648 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,200 WHERE THEY INTRODUCED THOMAS TO 649 00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:32,166 THE CONCEPT OF PORNOGRAPHY, AND 650 00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:33,866 HE BECAME SO CRAZED BY IT, HE 651 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,166 HAD TO BE FORCIBLY DISASSEMBLED. 652 00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,766 THEY SAY IF YOU WANDER THE SODOR 653 00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:37,866 SCRAPYARDS AT NIGHT, YOU CAN 654 00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:39,800 HEAR THE WAILING OF A THOUSAND 655 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,366 SCATTERED PISTONS, STILL ALIVE 656 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,533 AND HOWLING FOR DICK PICS. 657 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,433 SO THAT'S WHAT RANSOMWARE LOOKS 658 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,600 LIKE. 659 00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:47,500 BUT HOW MUCH HARM CAN IT DO? 660 00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:48,500 WELL, DEPENDING ON THE TARGET, 661 00:16:48,566 --> 00:16:50,300 A LOT. 662 00:16:50,366 --> 00:16:52,100 RANSOMWARE HAS CAUSED CHAOS IN 663 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:52,933 CITY GOVERNMENTS LIKE BALTIMORE 664 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,233 AND NEW ORLEANS. 665 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,533 AND HACKERS HAVE ALSO HIT SCHOOL 666 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,500 DISTRICTS, POLICE DEPARTMENTS, 667 00:16:58,566 --> 00:16:59,666 AND EVEN HOSPITAL SYSTEMS. 668 00:16:59,733 --> 00:17:01,300 >> LAST MONTH, A CYBERATTACK 669 00:17:01,366 --> 00:17:03,333 TARGETING THE HOSPITAL CHAIN 670 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,733 UNIVERSAL HEALTH SERVICES CAUSED 671 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,133 A MAJOR COMPUTER FAILURE, WITH 672 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:07,833 SOME OF ITS HOSPITALS FORCED TO 673 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,166 USE PEN AND PAPER TO FILE 674 00:17:09,233 --> 00:17:11,700 PATIENT INFORMATION. 675 00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,433 >> SO THIS IS A PERFECT STORM 676 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,333 HITTING THE HOSPITALS, AND 677 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,133 THERE'S ACTUALLY NEVER BEEN 678 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,466 A BETTER TIME, IF YOU'RE A 679 00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:19,400 RANSOMWARE SYNDICATE AND YOU 680 00:17:19,466 --> 00:17:20,433 WANT A FAST PAYOUT, THIS WOULD 681 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,666 BE THE TIME TO STRIKE. 682 00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:23,700 >> John: HEY, THERESA, 683 00:17:23,766 --> 00:17:25,533 CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 684 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:26,400 LOOK, I'M NO STRANGER TO 685 00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:27,800 INADVERTENTLY GIVING 686 00:17:27,866 --> 00:17:29,333 UNSCRUPULOUS PEOPLE NEW WAYS 687 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,666 TO PREY ON THE VULNERABLE. 688 00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,000 THIS SEASON ALONE, WE'VE DONE 689 00:17:32,066 --> 00:17:33,400 STORIES ON PREDATORY NURSING 690 00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:34,700 HOMES, PACE LOAN SCAMS, AND 691 00:17:34,766 --> 00:17:35,566 BASICALLY TOLD YOU HOW TO SET UP 692 00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:36,766 A FAKE RELIGIOUS HEALTH 693 00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:38,466 INSURANCE COMPANY. 694 00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,466 THIS SHOW COULD EASILY BE CALLED 695 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:40,700 "GETTING RICH FOR SOCIOPATHS" 696 00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:42,600 WITH JOHN OLIVER. 697 00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:43,933 BUT I WILL SAY, AT LEAST I'VE 698 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,100 NEVER LOOK DEAD INTO CAMERA AND 699 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,733 TOLD HACKERS IT'S A GREAT TIME 700 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,566 TO TAKE DOWN A HOSPITAL. 701 00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:49,933 UNTIL, I GUESS, JUST NOW. 702 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,966 WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO, 703 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:54,000 THERESA? 704 00:17:54,066 --> 00:17:55,400 AND TO BE FAIR, HACKERS DON'T 705 00:17:55,466 --> 00:17:56,933 NEED MUCH ENCOURAGEMENT. 706 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,333 LAST YEAR, OVER 500 HEALTHCARE 707 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,233 FACILITIES WERE HIT BY 708 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,233 RANSOMWARE ATTACKS 709 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,966 IN THE U.S. ALONE. 710 00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:04,500 ONE OF WHICH WAS IN VERMONT, 711 00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:05,633 WHERE CLINICIANS WERE FORCED TO 712 00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:06,533 TURN AWAY HUNDREDS OF CANCER 713 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,033 PATIENTS WHO NEEDED TREATMENT 714 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,100 AFTER THEY LOST ACCESS TO 715 00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:10,800 MEDICAL RECORDS. 716 00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:13,733 AND THE THING IS, HACKERS DON'T 717 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,300 NECESSARILY HAVE TO WORK TOO 718 00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:15,800 HARD TO DO THIS. 719 00:18:15,866 --> 00:18:17,100 ABOUT 85% OF HOSPITALS DON'T 720 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:18,666 HAVE A SINGLE QUALIFIED 721 00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:23,400 CYBERSECURITY PERSON ON STAFF, 722 00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:24,266 WHICH DOES FEEL LIKE IT'S JUST 723 00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:24,900 ASKING FOR TROUBLE. 724 00:18:24,966 --> 00:18:26,100 IN FACT, LAX SECURITY IS A 725 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,100 PROBLEM ACROSS ALL INDUSTRIES. 726 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:30,300 THE COLONIAL PIPELINE ATTACK 727 00:18:30,366 --> 00:18:31,800 OCCURRED BECAUSE AN EMPLOYEE HAD 728 00:18:31,866 --> 00:18:33,833 USED THE SAME PASSWORD ACROSS 729 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,433 MULTIPLE SERVICES, AND THE 730 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,800 COMPANY DIDN'T USE MULTI-FACTOR 731 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,000 AUTHENTICATION. 732 00:18:39,066 --> 00:18:40,433 SO WHEN THAT PASSWORD WAS 733 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,533 BREACHED IN AN ATTACK ELSEWHERE, 734 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,133 THERE WAS A DIRECT WAY IN. 735 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,466 AND WHEN PRESSED ON WHAT 736 00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,533 HAPPENED, COLONIAL'S CEO WASN'T 737 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:52,233 PARTICULARLY REASSURING. 738 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,366 >> IN THE CASE OF THIS 739 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,933 PARTICULAR LEGACY VPN, IT DID 740 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,766 ONLY HAVE SINGLE-FACTOR 741 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:58,033 AUTHENTICATION, IT WAS A 742 00:18:58,100 --> 00:18:59,033 COMPLICATED PASSWORD, SO I WANT 743 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:04,466 TO BE CLEAR ON THAT, IT WAS NOT 744 00:19:04,533 --> 00:19:05,100 A "COLONIAL 123"-TYPE PASSWORD. 745 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:05,666 >> John: WELL, HOLD ON. 746 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:06,866 NO ONE SAID IT WAS! 747 00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,033 I DON'T KNOW WHOSE EXPECTATIONS 748 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,566 YOU THINK YOU'RE MEETING WITH 749 00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:10,700 THAT ANSWER. 750 00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:11,766 THE ONLY PEOPLE I'D EVEN SUSPECT 751 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,133 OF USING "COLONIAL123" AS A 752 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,266 PASSWORD ARE THE STAFF AT 753 00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:15,433 COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG, AND 754 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,100 THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE AGGRESSIVELY 755 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:18,500 SUCKING AT CYBERSECURITY WOULD 756 00:19:18,566 --> 00:19:19,600 AT LEAST BE HISTORICALLY 757 00:19:19,666 --> 00:19:21,033 ACCURATE. 758 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:21,900 AND HERE'S THE THING, 759 00:19:21,966 --> 00:19:24,833 EVEN ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE 760 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,933 SCRUPULOUS ABOUT BACKING UP DATA 761 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,533 SO IT CAN BE EASILY RECOVERED 762 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,033 CAN STILL BE VULNERABLE. 763 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,333 BECAUSE HACKERS ARE NOW NOT JUST 764 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,833 ENCRYPTING DATA, THEY'RE ALSO 765 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,100 THREATENING TO RELEASE FILES OR 766 00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:36,600 PERSONAL INFORMATION PUBLICLY. 767 00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:38,166 THIS HAPPENED TO THE D.C. POLICE 768 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:41,500 RECENTLY WHEN HACKERS RELEASED 769 00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:42,666 THE PERSONAL INFORMATION OF 22 770 00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:43,466 OFFICERS. 771 00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:45,533 AND A FEW YEARS AGO, HBO WAS 772 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,400 HIT, TOO, WITH HACKERS DEMANDING 773 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:47,033 AROUND $6 MILLION OR THEY'D LEAK 774 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,166 UNAIRED EPISODES OF 775 00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:49,733 "GAME OF THRONES." 776 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,866 WHICH, TO BE HONEST, IS A PRETTY 777 00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:51,566 WEAK THREAT. 778 00:19:51,633 --> 00:19:52,633 IF HBO'S GOING TO BE PUBLICLY 779 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:54,133 HUMILIATED, IT WILL BE BY 780 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,766 RELEASING THE LAST SEASON OF 781 00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:57,633 "GAME OF THRONES" ON ITS OWN 782 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,866 TERMS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 783 00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:02,033 AND IF HAVING YOUR DATA LOCKED 784 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,366 OR LEAKED WEREN'T SCARY ENOUGH, 785 00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:04,133 IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE. 786 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,366 BECAUSE WE'RE INCREASINGLY 787 00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:07,466 HOOKING PHYSICAL OBJECTS IN OUR 788 00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:08,833 LIVES UP TO THE INTERNET -- 789 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:09,933 THINGS LIKE TVs, REFRIGERATORS, 790 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,166 AND OVENS. 791 00:20:11,233 --> 00:20:13,833 AND THEY CAN BE VULNERABLE TO 792 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:14,333 RANSOMWARE, TOO. 793 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,400 BACK IN 2016, HACKERS MADE 794 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,666 THE FIRST-EVER RANSOMWARE FOR 795 00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:18,866 SMART THERMOSTATS, CRANKING 796 00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,066 THE TEMPERATURE TO 99 DEGREES 797 00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:23,366 UNLESS THE OWNER PAID UP. 798 00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,033 AND LAST YEAR, RESEARCHERS FOUND 799 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,200 A VULNERABILITY IN AN 800 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,566 INTERNET-ENABLED CHASTITY CAGE 801 00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:30,566 -- BASICALLY A HIGH-TECH PENIS 802 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,200 PRISON -- THAT COULD BE 803 00:20:31,266 --> 00:20:32,466 COCK-LOCKED UNTIL THE PERSON 804 00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:33,500 IN JUNK JAIL PAID UP. 805 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,300 AND INTERESTINGLY, THE 806 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:37,500 RESEARCHERS WHO DISCOVERED THAT 807 00:20:37,566 --> 00:20:38,766 FELT COMPELLED TO GO PUBLIC WITH 808 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,066 IT BECAUSE OF THE NEXT PRODUCT 809 00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:40,800 THAT COMPANY WAS ABOUT TO 810 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:41,900 RELEASE. 811 00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:43,500 >> HI THERE! 812 00:20:43,566 --> 00:20:44,666 WE'RE INTRODUCING YOU TO 813 00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:47,000 PEAR FLOWER ANAL PLUG. 814 00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:48,200 COMPATIBLE TO VARIOUS TEALS AND 815 00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:49,366 LEASH. 816 00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:50,800 YOU NEED TO SELECT TO BE 817 00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:52,100 "KEYMASTER" OR "WEARER." 818 00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:53,066 WEARER CAN ADD FRIENDS IN THE 819 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:54,400 APP, AND INVITE FRIENDS TO BE 820 00:20:54,466 --> 00:20:55,700 KEYMASTER. 821 00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:57,600 THIS INVITED KEYMASTER HAS RIGHT 822 00:20:57,666 --> 00:20:58,600 TO GIVE PERMISSION TO WEARER FOR 823 00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,233 UNLOCKING. 824 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,900 WEARER CANNOT UNLOCK WITHOUT 825 00:21:01,966 --> 00:21:04,233 PERMISSION FROM KEYMASTER. 826 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:05,966 >> John: YEAH, THAT PRODUCT 827 00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:06,966 COULD ESSENTIALLY GIVE THE 828 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,633 INTERNET CONTROL OVER YOUR ANUS, 829 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,400 WHICH DOESN'T SEEM GREAT. 830 00:21:10,466 --> 00:21:11,866 ASSHOLES ARE LIKE OPINIONS: 831 00:21:11,933 --> 00:21:13,700 LETTING THE INTERNET BE IN 832 00:21:13,766 --> 00:21:14,466 CHARGE OF YOURS IS A REALLY 833 00:21:14,533 --> 00:21:16,633 BAD IDEA. 834 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,366 NOW, INCREDIBLY, I LEGALLY HAVE 835 00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:20,333 TO TELL YOU AT THIS POINT: 836 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,966 THAT BUTT PLUG DOES COME WITH 837 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:25,900 A PHYSICAL KEY FOR EMERGENCIES. 838 00:21:25,966 --> 00:21:28,733 WHICH I AM NOT SURE IS 839 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,433 COMPLETELY REASSURING. 840 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,000 KEYS DO GET LOST, DON'T THEY? 841 00:21:32,066 --> 00:21:33,200 JUST PICTURE THE LAST TIME 842 00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:35,033 YOU SEARCHED FOR YOUR KEYS 843 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:35,833 AROUND YOUR HOUSE AND 844 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:36,866 NOW RAISE THE STAKES 845 00:21:36,933 --> 00:21:37,866 SIGNIFICANTLY. 846 00:21:37,933 --> 00:21:39,200 THE POINT IS, THE COSTS OF 847 00:21:39,266 --> 00:21:40,233 RANSOMWARE KEEP GETTING HIGHER 848 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,266 AND HIGHER, EVEN AS, CRUCIALLY, 849 00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,233 THE BARRIER TO ENTRY HAS GOTTEN 850 00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,333 MUCH LOWER. 851 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,933 BECAUSE THE EXPLOSION IN 852 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:46,533 RANSOMWARE HAS BASICALLY BEEN 853 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,566 THE RESULT OF THREE MAJOR 854 00:21:47,633 --> 00:21:49,200 DEVELOPMENTS. 855 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:49,966 THE FIRST ONE IS THE EMERGENCE 856 00:21:50,033 --> 00:21:50,766 OF SOMETHING CALLED 857 00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:53,800 "RANSOMWARE AS A SERVICE." 858 00:21:53,866 --> 00:21:55,666 BASICALLY, HACKERS WILL DEVELOP 859 00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:57,666 A RANSOMWARE PROGRAM, AND THEN 860 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:58,800 SELL IT TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT WANT 861 00:21:58,866 --> 00:21:59,600 TO LAUNCH AN ATTACK AND SPLIT 862 00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,533 THE PROFITS. 863 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,033 WHAT THIS MEANS IS, BASICALLY 864 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,233 ANYONE CAN LAUNCH AN ATTACK, 865 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,700 EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT PARTICULARLY 866 00:22:06,766 --> 00:22:09,233 TECH-SAVVY -- IN FACT, JUST 867 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,600 WATCH AS A CYBERSECURITY EXPERT 868 00:22:10,666 --> 00:22:11,133 WALKS THROUGH THE FEATURES 869 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,666 OFFERED BY ONE RANSOMWARE 870 00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:13,566 VENDOR. 871 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,066 >> THEY ACTUALLY PROVIDE YOU 872 00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,466 WITH BASICALLY A CHAT ROOM, 873 00:22:16,533 --> 00:22:18,266 WHERE YOU CAN ASK QUESTIONS TO 874 00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:19,500 THE PEOPLE WHO MAINTAIN THIS 875 00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,466 ARCHITECTURE FOR YOU. 876 00:22:21,533 --> 00:22:22,600 >> FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 877 00:22:22,666 --> 00:22:23,400 FOR CRIMINALS. 878 00:22:23,466 --> 00:22:25,366 >> EXACTLY. 879 00:22:25,433 --> 00:22:27,300 >> TOM PACE LOGGED ONTO THE SITE 880 00:22:27,366 --> 00:22:28,566 AND USED IT TO ENCRYPT A NETWORK 881 00:22:28,633 --> 00:22:29,633 OF HIS OWN. 882 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:31,166 >> SO ALL OF THE FILES THAT ARE 883 00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:33,166 ON THIS SYSTEM HAVE NOW BEEN 884 00:22:33,233 --> 00:22:35,366 SUCCESSFULLY ENCRYPTED. 885 00:22:35,433 --> 00:22:37,266 >> SO THIS TOOK YOU JUST 886 00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:39,333 SLIGHTLY OVER FIVE MINUTES, 887 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,666 AND YOU DIDN'T WRITE A SINGLE 888 00:22:41,733 --> 00:22:42,333 LINE OF CODE? 889 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:42,833 >> CORRECT. 890 00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:43,633 >> OFF THE SHELF. 891 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:44,866 >> OFF THE SHELF. 892 00:22:44,933 --> 00:22:46,400 READY TO GO. 893 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:48,533 >> John: THAT IS ALARMINGLY 894 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,500 EASY! 895 00:22:49,566 --> 00:22:50,866 IDEALLY, NO ONE WOULD LAUNCH 896 00:22:50,933 --> 00:22:52,100 RANSOMWARE ATTACKS. 897 00:22:52,166 --> 00:22:53,100 BUT MY NEXT PREFERENCE WOULD BE 898 00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:55,000 THAT LAUNCHING ONE SHOULD 899 00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:55,866 REQUIRE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE WORK 900 00:22:55,933 --> 00:22:57,400 THAN SIMPLY CLICKING 901 00:22:57,466 --> 00:22:59,033 "ADD RANSOMWARE TO CART." 902 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,366 IF IT'S BEGINNING TO SEEM LIKE 903 00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:01,700 RANSOMWARE IS JUST A TYPICAL 904 00:23:01,766 --> 00:23:02,833 BUSINESS, BUT STAFFED BY 905 00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,300 CRIMINALS, YOU'RE NOT ENTIRELY 906 00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:05,433 WRONG. 907 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,033 THIS CAN BE A VERY PROFESSIONAL 908 00:23:07,100 --> 00:23:09,733 ENTERPRISE, WITH CUSTOMER CARE 909 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,966 FOR BOTH THE CRIMINAL WHO BOUGHT 910 00:23:11,033 --> 00:23:11,900 THE RANSOMWARE PRODUCT, AND THE 911 00:23:11,966 --> 00:23:13,566 VICTIM ON THE RECEIVING END OF 912 00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:14,666 IT. 913 00:23:14,733 --> 00:23:16,466 ONE EXPERT EVEN SAID, "HONESTLY, 914 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:17,600 I WISH MY INTERNET SERVICE 915 00:23:17,666 --> 00:23:19,100 PROVIDER HAD CUSTOMER SERVICE 916 00:23:19,166 --> 00:23:20,100 THE WAY THESE GUYS DO." 917 00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:21,700 WHICH SEEMS A LITTLE UNFAIR, 918 00:23:21,766 --> 00:23:23,200 SINCE RANSOMWARE HACKERS ARE 919 00:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,400 CRIMINALS AND INTERNET SERVICE 920 00:23:24,466 --> 00:23:26,200 PROVIDERS ARE FUCKING MONSTERS. 921 00:23:26,266 --> 00:23:27,566 YOU CAN'T HOLD THEM TO THE SAME 922 00:23:27,633 --> 00:23:29,800 STANDARDS. 923 00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,633 AND FOR A SENSE OF THE CUSTOMER 924 00:23:31,700 --> 00:23:32,500 SERVICE THEY OFFER FOR VICTIMS, 925 00:23:32,566 --> 00:23:34,666 REMEMBER THAT GRANDMOTHER? 926 00:23:34,733 --> 00:23:35,933 THE PEOPLE THAT HACKED HER WERE 927 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,233 HAPPY TO HELP GUIDE HER THROUGH 928 00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:39,633 THE PROCESS OF PAYMENT. 929 00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:40,933 >> IN THEIR RANSOM NOTE, THE 930 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,500 HACKERS WANTED TO BE PAID IN 931 00:23:42,566 --> 00:23:44,966 BITCOIN, THE LARGELY UNTRACEABLE 932 00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:46,033 DIGITAL CURRENCY, AND HAVE IT 933 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:46,866 PUT INTO THEIR ANONYMOUS 934 00:23:46,933 --> 00:23:47,900 ACCOUNT. 935 00:23:47,966 --> 00:23:49,533 INNA HAD NEVER HEARD OF BITCOIN, 936 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,700 BUT THE HACKERS, IN ONE OF THEIR 937 00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:52,933 MANY TOUCHES OF WHAT YOU MIGHT 938 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,566 CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE, PROVIDED 939 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:56,100 ALL SORTS OF HELPFUL FACTS AND 940 00:23:56,166 --> 00:23:58,333 LINKS AND HOW-TO GUIDES ABOUT 941 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,600 BITCOIN. 942 00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:03,333 >> John: IT'S TRUE! 943 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,366 THEY HAD TO TEACH 944 00:24:04,433 --> 00:24:08,766 INNA HOW TO USE BITCOIN. 945 00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:10,000 THAT IS GENUINELY WAY MORE 946 00:24:10,066 --> 00:24:10,833 IMPRESSIVE THAN CARRYING OUT A 947 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:13,533 RANSOMWARE ATTACK. 948 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,333 CLICK 949 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,600 THINK ABOUT IT, IF YOU HAD TO 950 00:24:16,666 --> 00:24:18,500 TEACH YOUR GRANDMA TO USE 951 00:24:18,566 --> 00:24:19,566 CRYPTOCURRENCY IN ORDER TO MAKE 952 00:24:19,633 --> 00:24:21,066 $500, ARE YOU CONFIDENT YOU 953 00:24:21,133 --> 00:24:22,000 WOULD WALK OUT OF THERE WITH 954 00:24:22,066 --> 00:24:22,633 $500? 955 00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:23,533 LET'S SAY YOU HAD INFINITE TIME 956 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,766 AND INFINITE GRANDMAS. 957 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:25,900 YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND BITCOIN, 958 00:24:25,966 --> 00:24:26,466 AND THEN YOU HAVE TO TEACH A 959 00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:27,566 GRANDMA, ANY GRANDMA, TO USE IT. 960 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:28,566 ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GETTING $500 961 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:31,133 OUT OF THAT SITUATION? 962 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,000 DEEP DOWN, I THINK YOU KNOW THE 963 00:24:33,066 --> 00:24:33,366 ANSWER TO THAT. 964 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:34,433 BUT THE BITCOIN PART OF THAT 965 00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:35,600 STORY ACTUALLY BRINGS US TO 966 00:24:35,666 --> 00:24:37,766 THE SECOND MAJOR DRIVER OF 967 00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:38,800 RANSOMWARE, AND THAT'S THE RISE 968 00:24:38,866 --> 00:24:40,766 OF CRYPTOCURRENCIES. 969 00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:42,200 THEY'VE MADE IT MUCH EASIER TO 970 00:24:42,266 --> 00:24:43,900 MAKE MONEY FROM RANSOMWARE, 971 00:24:43,966 --> 00:24:45,166 AND MUCH MORE DIFFICULT FOR LAW 972 00:24:45,233 --> 00:24:46,433 ENFORCEMENT TO RECOVER PAYMENTS. 973 00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:47,833 BECAUSE IF RANSOMS WERE PAID IN 974 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:50,066 WIRE TRANSFERS, COMPANIES COULD 975 00:24:50,133 --> 00:24:50,666 FIND A WAY TO CLAW THAT MONEY 976 00:24:50,733 --> 00:24:51,400 BACK. 977 00:24:51,466 --> 00:24:52,766 BUT WITH CRYPTOCURRENCIES, 978 00:24:52,833 --> 00:24:54,700 IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDO. 979 00:24:54,766 --> 00:24:57,066 AND WHILE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT 980 00:24:57,133 --> 00:24:57,666 ACTUALLY DID MANAGE TO RECOVER 981 00:24:57,733 --> 00:24:59,000 SOME OF THE BITCOIN USED 982 00:24:59,066 --> 00:25:00,600 IN THE COLONIAL PIPELINE RANSOM, 983 00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:01,900 THERE ARE OTHER CRYPTOCURRENCIES 984 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:02,733 DESIGNED TO BE EVEN MORE 985 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,300 ANONYMOUS. 986 00:25:04,366 --> 00:25:06,633 TAKE MONERO, WHICH IN ITS ADS, 987 00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:07,733 SEEMS TO BE AWARE OF JUST HOW 988 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,700 ATTRACTIVE IT IS TO CRIMINALS. 989 00:25:10,766 --> 00:25:11,700 >> THERE'S NO SAFE PLACE TO 990 00:25:11,766 --> 00:25:13,866 CONDUCT PRIVATE TRANSACTIONS. 991 00:25:13,933 --> 00:25:15,033 WELL, THERE WASN'T ONE, 992 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,366 UNTIL NOW. 993 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:18,233 MEET MONERO. 994 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,333 MONERO IS A SECURE, PRIVATE, 995 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,100 UNTRACEABLE CURRENCY. 996 00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:23,366 WITH MONERO, YOU ARE YOUR OWN 997 00:25:23,433 --> 00:25:24,700 BANK. 998 00:25:24,766 --> 00:25:27,200 ONLY YOU CONTROL AND ARE 999 00:25:27,266 --> 00:25:29,100 RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FUNDS. 1000 00:25:29,166 --> 00:25:30,500 MONERO IS PRIVATE. 1001 00:25:30,566 --> 00:25:32,033 >> THIS MEANS BUSINESSES CAN 1002 00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:35,366 KEEP THEIR SUPPLIERS IN SECRET, 1003 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,600 AS WELL AS CITIZENS ESCAPE 1004 00:25:37,666 --> 00:25:38,800 GOVERNMENT REPRESSIONS, AND NOSY 1005 00:25:38,866 --> 00:25:40,000 NEIGHBORS OR CROOKS. 1006 00:25:40,066 --> 00:25:41,800 >> John: OH, COME ON. 1007 00:25:41,866 --> 00:25:43,200 THERE'S A PRETTY CLEAR SUBTEXT 1008 00:25:43,266 --> 00:25:44,533 TO WHAT THEY'RE SELLING THERE. 1009 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,533 IT'S LIKE SEEING A CHEERFUL AD 1010 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:47,533 FOR "PLASTIC TUBS THE SIZE AND 1011 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,000 SHAPE OF A HUMAN BODY." 1012 00:25:49,066 --> 00:25:49,633 THIS ISN'T FOR ANYTHING IN 1013 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:50,700 PARTICULAR! 1014 00:25:50,766 --> 00:25:52,666 THERE'S ALL SORTS OF HUMAN 1015 00:25:52,733 --> 00:25:54,633 BODY-SIZED THINGS YOU COULD PUT 1016 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:55,333 INTO ONE OF THESE STURDY TUBS! 1017 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,766 ALSO, THEY'RE SCREAM PROOF! 1018 00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:57,900 "NO MATTER HOW MUCH SOUND 1019 00:25:57,966 --> 00:25:58,833 SOMETHING MAKES INSIDE, 1020 00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,166 YOU'LL NEVER HEAR IT!" 1021 00:26:00,233 --> 00:26:01,233 WE'RE NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO 1022 00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:02,800 WITH OUR PRODUCT, THOUGH -- 1023 00:26:02,866 --> 00:26:03,400 WE'RE SIMPLY LEADING YOU TO A 1024 00:26:03,466 --> 00:26:05,700 VERY SPECIFIC CONCLUSION. 1025 00:26:05,766 --> 00:26:07,466 ALTHOUGH, INTERESTINGLY, DESPITE 1026 00:26:07,533 --> 00:26:09,800 THE FACT HACKERS NOW HAVE THE 1027 00:26:09,866 --> 00:26:10,700 ABILITY TO MAKE THEIR FINANCIAL 1028 00:26:10,766 --> 00:26:12,200 TRANSACTIONS IN SECRET, IT'S NOT 1029 00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,300 ALWAYS THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT 1030 00:26:13,366 --> 00:26:16,266 WHERE, EXACTLY, THE MONEY IS 1031 00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:16,466 GOING. 1032 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,866 >> THIS SHOWS AN ALLEGED MEMBER 1033 00:26:18,933 --> 00:26:20,300 OF A RUSSIAN CYBER GANG KNOWN AS 1034 00:26:20,366 --> 00:26:22,400 EVIL CORP, SHOWING OFF AN 1035 00:26:22,466 --> 00:26:23,133 EXPENSIVE LAMBORGHINI IN A 1036 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,900 PARKING GARAGE. 1037 00:26:26,966 --> 00:26:28,700 THIS IS VIDEO OF EVIL CORP 1038 00:26:28,766 --> 00:26:30,700 MEMBERS ALLEGEDLY DOING DONUTS 1039 00:26:30,766 --> 00:26:31,600 AND OBSTRUCTING TRAFFIC IN 1040 00:26:31,666 --> 00:26:33,200 DOWNTOWN MOSCOW. 1041 00:26:33,266 --> 00:26:34,833 >> VIDEOS AND PHOTOGRAPHS 1042 00:26:34,900 --> 00:26:36,433 RELEASED BY INVESTIGATORS SHOW 1043 00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:38,166 THE ALLEGED HACKERS LIVING 1044 00:26:38,233 --> 00:26:40,866 LARGE, POSING WITH ARMS FULL OF 1045 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:41,666 CASH, AND SHOWING OFF A PET LION 1046 00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:43,466 CUB. 1047 00:26:43,533 --> 00:26:45,200 >> THIS IS 32-YEAR-OLD 1048 00:26:45,266 --> 00:26:46,500 MAKSIM YAKUBETS WITH HIS 1049 00:26:46,566 --> 00:26:48,433 LAMBORGHINI HURACAN AND HIS 1050 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:50,400 PERSONALIZED NUMBER PLATES, 1051 00:26:50,466 --> 00:26:51,333 WHICH IN RUSSIAN READS "THIEF." 1052 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,066 >> John: WOW. 1053 00:26:53,133 --> 00:26:55,066 THESE GUYS ARE DOUCHES. 1054 00:26:55,133 --> 00:26:56,366 IT'S BAD ENOUGH SITTING 1055 00:26:56,433 --> 00:26:58,133 IN A TRAFFIC JAM WATCHING SOME 1056 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,533 ASSHOLE DO DONUTS IN THE MIDDLE 1057 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,666 OF THE STREET WITHOUT HAVING TO 1058 00:27:00,733 --> 00:27:02,633 WONDER IF THERE'S A LION CUB 1059 00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:03,133 THROWING UP IN THE CAR. 1060 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:03,666 C'MON, GUYS. 1061 00:27:03,733 --> 00:27:05,600 LEAVE LIONS OUT OF THIS. 1062 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:06,900 IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE 1063 00:27:06,966 --> 00:27:08,900 A WEIRD ANIMAL, GET A BIG SNAKE. 1064 00:27:08,966 --> 00:27:10,766 I COULD GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT 1065 00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:11,833 A BIG SNAKE'S QUALITY OF LIFE. 1066 00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:12,533 AND YOU CAN TELL ANY BIG SNAKE 1067 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,033 I SAID THAT. 1068 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:16,000 BUT THERE'S ACTUALLY A REASON 1069 00:27:16,066 --> 00:27:17,433 THOSE HACKERS FEEL SO 1070 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,133 COMFORTABLE DRIVING AROUND WITH 1071 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:20,300 LICENSE PLATES THAT ARE 1072 00:27:20,366 --> 00:27:21,433 BASICALLY AN ADMISSION OF GUILT, 1073 00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:22,600 AND THAT'S BRINGS US TO 1074 00:27:22,666 --> 00:27:23,666 THE FINAL FACTOR INCREASING 1075 00:27:23,733 --> 00:27:25,200 RANSOMWARE ATTACKS, AND THAT'S 1076 00:27:25,266 --> 00:27:27,466 COUNTRIES PROVIDING SAFE HAVENS. 1077 00:27:27,533 --> 00:27:28,833 BECAUSE MULTIPLE GOVERNMENTS -- 1078 00:27:28,900 --> 00:27:33,566 AND RUSSIA, IN PARTICULAR -- 1079 00:27:33,633 --> 00:27:34,466 WILL LOOK THE OTHER WAY FOR 1080 00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:34,866 HACKERS 1081 00:27:34,933 --> 00:27:35,700 SO LONG AS THEY DO 1082 00:27:35,766 --> 00:27:37,300 THEIR WORK OUTSIDE OF THEIR 1083 00:27:37,366 --> 00:27:37,633 BORDERS. 1084 00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:39,733 CYBERSECURITY EXPERTS SAY THE 1085 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,700 "DON'T WORK IN .RU" STRICTURE 1086 00:27:41,766 --> 00:27:42,466 HAS BECOME AN UNWRITTEN RULE 1087 00:27:42,533 --> 00:27:43,900 IN THE RUSSIAN-SPEAKING HACKING 1088 00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:45,233 COMMUNITY, TO AVOID 1089 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:45,966 ENTANGLEMENTS WITH RUSSIAN 1090 00:27:46,033 --> 00:27:47,133 LAW ENFORCEMENT. 1091 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,300 BASICALLY, RUSSIAN HACKERS KNOW, 1092 00:27:48,366 --> 00:27:49,666 AS LONG AS THEY DON'T MAKE 1093 00:27:49,733 --> 00:27:50,466 TROUBLE AT HOME, THEY WON'T BE 1094 00:27:50,533 --> 00:27:51,533 PUNISHED FOR WHAT THEY DO 1095 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,966 ABROAD. 1096 00:27:55,033 --> 00:27:55,833 AND WHEN YOU PUT ALL OF THIS 1097 00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,133 TOGETHER, WITH CYBERCRIMINALS 1098 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,033 ABLE TO BUY RANSOMWARE OFF THE 1099 00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:00,466 SHELF, GET PAID IN UNTRACEABLE 1100 00:28:00,533 --> 00:28:01,833 CURRENCY, AND WORK FREE FROM 1101 00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:02,633 STATE INTERFERENCE, IS IT ANY 1102 00:28:02,700 --> 00:28:04,066 WONDER WE HAVE SUCH A MASSIVE 1103 00:28:04,133 --> 00:28:06,233 PROBLEM ON OUR HANDS? 1104 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:08,366 WHICH BRINGS US TO THE KEY 1105 00:28:08,433 --> 00:28:09,433 QUESTION -- WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT 1106 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,100 THIS? 1107 00:28:11,166 --> 00:28:13,066 WELL, HERE'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 1108 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:15,033 >> WE OUGHT TO PASS A LAW 1109 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:16,966 IMMEDIATELY THAT MAKES IT -- 1110 00:28:17,033 --> 00:28:19,566 THIS KIND OF HACKING SUBJECT TO 1111 00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:21,800 A DEATH PENALTY, AND THE LAW 1112 00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:22,966 SHOULD INCLUDE A PROVISION THAT 1113 00:28:23,033 --> 00:28:25,966 THE PRESIDENT, THROUGH A 1114 00:28:26,033 --> 00:28:27,666 JUDICIAL PROCESS, SHOULD BE ABLE 1115 00:28:27,733 --> 00:28:29,000 TO ORDER THE KILLING OF ANYBODY 1116 00:28:29,066 --> 00:28:30,266 OVERSEAS WHO IS DOING THIS. 1117 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,866 >> John: WOW. 1118 00:28:31,933 --> 00:28:34,500 THAT'S BOTH INCREDIBLY HARSH AND 1119 00:28:34,566 --> 00:28:36,200 ALSO ENDEARINGLY NAIVE. 1120 00:28:36,266 --> 00:28:37,833 BECAUSE I HATE TO BREAK IT TO 1121 00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:39,000 NEWT, BUT AMERICA DOESN'T 1122 00:28:39,066 --> 00:28:40,333 EXACTLY CONCERN ITSELF WITH 1123 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,800 "A JUDICIAL PROCESS" TO KILL 1124 00:28:41,866 --> 00:28:42,800 PEOPLE OVERSEAS. 1125 00:28:42,866 --> 00:28:44,066 WE VERY MUCH TAKE 1126 00:28:44,133 --> 00:28:45,933 THE SANTA CLAUS APPROACH: 1127 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,600 SEE THEM WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING, 1128 00:28:47,666 --> 00:28:48,600 KNOW WHEN THEY'RE AWAKE, MAKE A 1129 00:28:48,666 --> 00:28:49,833 LIST OF WHO'S BEEN BAD OR GOOD, 1130 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:50,533 AND THEN KILL SOME BAD ONES, 1131 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,300 AND WHICHEVER GOOD ONES HAPPEN 1132 00:28:51,366 --> 00:28:52,300 TO BE AROUND THEM. 1133 00:28:52,366 --> 00:28:57,366 YOU KNOW, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. 1134 00:28:57,433 --> 00:28:58,266 SO THAT IS ONE EXTREME WAY TO 1135 00:28:58,333 --> 00:28:59,000 HANDLE THIS. 1136 00:28:59,066 --> 00:28:59,933 THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION, 1137 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,266 HOWEVER, HAS SO FAR TAKEN A 1138 00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:01,666 DIFFERENT TACK. 1139 00:29:01,733 --> 00:29:02,666 IN THE WAKE OF THE COLONIAL 1140 00:29:02,733 --> 00:29:03,600 HACK, THIS WAS THE MESSAGE THEY 1141 00:29:03,666 --> 00:29:05,000 WERE PUBLICLY SENDING. 1142 00:29:05,066 --> 00:29:06,833 >> WE RECOGNIZE THAT VICTIMS OF 1143 00:29:06,900 --> 00:29:08,100 CYBERATTACKS OFTEN FACE A VERY 1144 00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:10,933 DIFFICULT SITUATION, AND THEY 1145 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,366 HAVE TO JUST BALANCE, OFTEN, 1146 00:29:12,433 --> 00:29:13,466 THE COST-BENEFIT WHEN THEY HAVE 1147 00:29:13,533 --> 00:29:14,100 NO CHOICE WITH REGARD TO PAYING 1148 00:29:14,166 --> 00:29:14,933 A RANSOM. 1149 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,666 COLONIAL IS A PRIVATE COMPANY, 1150 00:29:16,733 --> 00:29:18,800 AND WE'LL DEFER INFORMATION 1151 00:29:18,866 --> 00:29:20,100 REGARDING THEIR DECISION ON 1152 00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:23,333 PAYING A RANSOM TO THEM. 1153 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,200 >> John: OKAY, SO YOU'D LIKE 1154 00:29:25,266 --> 00:29:26,266 THEM TO PAY THE RANSOM. 1155 00:29:26,333 --> 00:29:26,900 YOU'D LIKE THE GAS BACK, AND 1156 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:27,700 THE EASIEST WAY TO GET 1157 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,466 THE GAS BACK IS TO PAY 1158 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:29,666 THE RANSOM, SO YOU'D LIKE THEM 1159 00:29:29,733 --> 00:29:30,833 TO PAY THE RANSOM. 1160 00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:31,966 IT'S A PRETTY STRONG HINT, AND 1161 00:29:32,033 --> 00:29:33,166 YOU GET THE FEELING THAT IF THE 1162 00:29:33,233 --> 00:29:34,466 HINT DOESN'T WORK, JOE BIDEN IS 1163 00:29:34,533 --> 00:29:35,133 GOING TO TAKE THEIR COMPUTER AND 1164 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,400 PAY FOR THEM. 1165 00:29:36,466 --> 00:29:37,800 IF THAT RUSSIAN GRANDMA CAN 1166 00:29:37,866 --> 00:29:39,266 FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE BITCOIN, 1167 00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:41,700 THERE'S A 30% CHANCE JOE CAN 1168 00:29:41,766 --> 00:29:42,233 TOO. 1169 00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:44,200 BUT THERE HAS TO BE A MIDDLE 1170 00:29:44,266 --> 00:29:45,900 GROUND BETWEEN "JUST KILL THEM" 1171 00:29:45,966 --> 00:29:46,900 AND "JUST PAY THEM." 1172 00:29:46,966 --> 00:29:48,300 BECAUSE MOST PUNISHMENTS -- AND 1173 00:29:48,366 --> 00:29:49,966 THIS IS TRUE -- FALL SOMEWHERE 1174 00:29:50,033 --> 00:29:50,966 BETWEEN "DEATH SENTENCE" AND 1175 00:29:51,033 --> 00:29:53,266 "A CASH REWARD." 1176 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,800 AND THE PROBLEM IS, THE MORE WE 1177 00:29:54,866 --> 00:29:56,300 PAY, THE MORE THESE KINDS OF 1178 00:29:56,366 --> 00:29:57,933 ATTACKS WILL BE ENCOURAGED, 1179 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,433 AND THE MORE WELL-FUNDED THEY 1180 00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:00,700 END UP BEING. 1181 00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:03,166 SO MUCH MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE 1182 00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:04,533 HERE -- AND I WILL SAY, ON THE 1183 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,466 GOVERNMENT LEVEL, THERE ARE SOME 1184 00:30:05,533 --> 00:30:10,366 ENCOURAGING SIGNS. 1185 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:11,433 THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT RECENTLY 1186 00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:13,633 CALLED A TAX FORCED TO CURTAIL 1187 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:14,500 THE PROLIFERATION OF RANSOMWARE 1188 00:30:14,566 --> 00:30:15,600 ATTACKS, DOES FEEL A LITTLE LATE 1189 00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:18,033 TO BE FORMING A TASK FORCE BUT 1190 00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:19,766 IT IS DEFINITELY BETTER THAN 1191 00:30:19,833 --> 00:30:21,000 NEVER. 1192 00:30:21,066 --> 00:30:25,133 ALSO THE INFRASTRUCTURE BILL 1193 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:26,200 A BILLION DOLLARS FOR IMPROVING 1194 00:30:26,266 --> 00:30:26,933 THE CYBERSECURITY OF LOCAL 1195 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:27,833 GOVERNMENTS. 1196 00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:28,766 BUT THE THING IS, 1197 00:30:28,833 --> 00:30:30,633 IT'S NOT JUST UP TO THE 1198 00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:31,266 GOVERNMENT TO TAKE CYBERSECURITY 1199 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:31,733 A LOT MORE SERIOUSLY. 1200 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,400 COMPANIES AND PRIVATE 1201 00:30:32,466 --> 00:30:33,133 INDIVIDUALS HAVE TO STEP UP, 1202 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,033 TOO. 1203 00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:35,333 AND THERE ARE SOME BASIC THINGS 1204 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,633 THAT WE SHOULD ALL ABSOLUTELY 1205 00:30:36,700 --> 00:30:37,566 BE DOING. 1206 00:30:37,633 --> 00:30:39,100 FIRST, SET UP MULTI-FACTOR 1207 00:30:39,166 --> 00:30:40,200 AUTHENTICATION -- DO IT RIGHT 1208 00:30:40,266 --> 00:30:41,033 NOW! 1209 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:43,400 SECOND, KEEP YOUR COMPUTERS UP 1210 00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:44,866 TO DATE, AND ALSO, DON'T CLICK 1211 00:30:44,933 --> 00:30:45,800 ON SUSPICIOUS EMAILS. 1212 00:30:45,866 --> 00:30:46,966 AND I KNOW THAT THOSE MEASURES 1213 00:30:47,033 --> 00:30:48,800 SOUND SMALL WHEN WE'RE FACING 1214 00:30:48,866 --> 00:30:49,866 SOMETHING SO TERRIFYING. 1215 00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:50,933 BUT IN A WORLD WHERE MOST 1216 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,733 PEOPLE'S DOORS ARE UNLOCKED 1217 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,200 AND WIDE OPEN, JUST LOCKING YOUR 1218 00:30:54,266 --> 00:30:59,666 DOOR MIGHT BE A DETERRENT. 1219 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:00,733 THE FACT IS, IT'S IN EVERYONE'S 1220 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:01,666 INTEREST TO GET THIS UNDER 1221 00:31:01,733 --> 00:31:02,800 CONTROL, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, 1222 00:31:02,866 --> 00:31:05,600 IT REALLY, REALLY ISN'T. 1223 00:31:05,666 --> 00:31:06,600 TO THE POINT THAT IT MAY WELL BE 1224 00:31:06,666 --> 00:31:07,900 TIME FOR A NEW AD CAMPAIGN TO 1225 00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:09,433 DRILL HOME JUST HOW VULNERABLE 1226 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:15,533 ALL OF US ARE. 1227 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:15,733 ♪ ♪ 1228 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,933 >> HAVE YOU EVER LOST ACCESS TO 1229 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,366 YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS? 1230 00:31:20,433 --> 00:31:21,333 >> WHAT THE FUCK? 1231 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,000 >> HOW TO WORK OUT TO MAKE A BET 1232 00:31:24,066 --> 00:31:24,600 GOING TRANSFER JUST SO YOU CAN 1233 00:31:24,666 --> 00:31:26,766 SEE PHOTOS OF YOUR GRANDCHILDREN 1234 00:31:26,833 --> 00:31:27,266 AGAIN? 1235 00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:30,566 OR SEND A FAX FROM THE BEACH? 1236 00:31:30,633 --> 00:31:32,566 WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF BEACH 1237 00:31:32,633 --> 00:31:32,933 BUSINESS? 1238 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,166 HAVE YOU EVER OPEN YOUR LAPTOP 1239 00:31:34,233 --> 00:31:36,900 TO SEE A CLOWN'S FACE DEMANDING 1240 00:31:36,966 --> 00:31:37,166 $300,000? 1241 00:31:37,233 --> 00:31:39,966 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, ALL RIGHT. 1242 00:31:40,033 --> 00:31:41,433 WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? 1243 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,766 WHAT IS HAPPENING? 1244 00:31:43,833 --> 00:31:46,466 >> OR JAVIER BUTT PLUG AND 1245 00:31:46,533 --> 00:31:47,600 EXCITEDLY TAKEN OVER BY 1246 00:31:47,666 --> 00:31:48,600 UKRAINIAN HACKERS. 1247 00:31:48,666 --> 00:31:49,333 >> YOU WILL. 1248 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,000 >> OH, NO, NOT THAT. 1249 00:31:51,066 --> 00:31:53,733 >> UNLESS WE LOST OUR TAKING THE 1250 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,266 ISSUE OF RANSOMWARE A LOT MORE 1251 00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:57,366 SERIOUSLY. 1252 00:31:57,433 --> 00:31:59,733 SO PLEASE, HE WAS TWO FACTOR 1253 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,366 AUTHENTICATION TO SECURE ALL 1254 00:32:01,433 --> 00:32:02,466 YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS, 1255 00:32:02,533 --> 00:32:05,633 EMAILS, AND BUTT PLUGS. 1256 00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:08,000 >> HI, TECH SUPPORT? 1257 00:32:08,066 --> 00:32:09,400 >> ESPECIALLY THE BUTT PLUGS. 1258 00:32:09,466 --> 00:32:10,666 >> IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN. 1259 00:32:10,733 --> 00:32:12,733 >> IF YOU THINK YOU CAN IGNORE 1260 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:13,533 THIS PROBLEM AND WILL NEVER BE 1261 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,533 THE VICTIM OF RANSOMWARE, TRUST 1262 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:17,966 US... 1263 00:32:18,033 --> 00:32:21,033 >> YOU WILL. 1264 00:32:21,100 --> 00:32:21,600 >> OH, YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY 1265 00:32:21,666 --> 00:32:21,800 WILL. 1266 00:32:21,866 --> 00:32:26,166 ♪ ♪ 1267 00:32:26,233 --> 00:32:27,366 >> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1268 00:32:27,433 --> 00:32:28,366 THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1269 00:32:28,433 --> 00:32:31,666 WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 1270 00:32:31,733 --> 00:32:31,966 GOOD NIGHT. 1271 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,000 ♪ ♪