♪ ♪
>> John: HI THERE!
WELCOME TO THE SHOW, STILL
TAKING PLACE IN THIS BLANK VOID,
NOW, SADLY, APPROACHING ITS
FIRST BIRTHDAY.
AND, LIKE MOST ONE-YEAR-OLDS,
IT DOESN'T REALLY DO MUCH OTHER
THAN TERRIFY YOU WHEN IT'S
QUIET AND VAGUELY SMELL LIKE
OLD MILK.
IT'S BEEN A WILD WEEK,
FROM ANDREW CUOMO'S SCANDALS
CONTINUING TO GROW, TO EIGHT
MODERATE DEMOCRATS KILLING A
$15 MINIMUM WAGE -- WITH
KYRSTEN SINEMA DOING IT
IN A PARTICULARLY DICKISH WAY --
OH, THUMBS DOWN!
FUN!
TO THE FACT THAT
THE MILWAUKEE BUCKS RECENTLY
STARTED WELCOMING LIMITED
NUMBERS OF FANS BACK INTO
THEIR ARENA, AND DID IT LIKE
THIS.
>> THE HAND SANITIZER CAM!
LET'S GET THOSE HANDS CLEAN!
HERE WE GO!
OH, IT'S ALL OVER YOU.
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WASH YOUR HAIR
OUT, GOT HAND SANITIZER ALL OVER
IT.
RIGHT ON THE HOODIE.
GREAT JOB, BANGO, HE'S, LIKE,
GIVE ME ALL THE HAND SANITIZER,
KEEP ME CLEAN!
I DON'T KNOW IF WE WANT TO
RECOMMEND THAT, LET'S NOT DO
THAT.
>> John: YEAH!
LET'S NOT DO ANY OF THAT!
BECAUSE GETTING BUKKAKED BY
A CARTOON SQUIRT BOTTLE HAS TO
BE THE MOST AWKWARD WAY TO WIND
UP ON A JUMBOTRON, RIGHT AFTER
BEING FEATURED ON THE KISS CAM
WITH YOUR SIBLING, AND BEING
PROPOSED TO ON A FIRST DATE.
NO, ERIC!
FOR VARIOUS REASONS, NO!
AND WHY IS EVERYONE BOOING ME?
WE JUST MET!
AND IT'S NOT JUST ARENAS
OPENING UP.
BOTH TEXAS AND MISSISSIPPI
THIS WEEK ANNOUNCED PLANS TO
PRETTY MUCH DO AWAY WITH
GOVERNMENT COVID RESTRICTIONS.
>> TEXAS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT
SAYS FALLING HOSPITALIZATIONS
AND INCREASED VACCINATIONS MEAN
NO
STATE MANDATES ARE NO LONGER
NEEDED, AND IT'S UP TO
INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESSES
TO BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY.
>> ALL BUSINESSES OF ANY TYPE
NO
ARE ALLOWED TO OPEN 100%
NO
ALSO, I AM ENDING THE STATEWIDE
MASK MANDATE.
>> John: WELL, THAT'S FUCKING
NO
STUPID.
LIFTING ALL RESTRICTIONS IS
RIDICULOUS WHEN WE'RE STILL
NO
IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC --
AS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT
INSTEAD OF FORCING PEOPLE TO
KISS, WE'RE SQUIRTING THEM
WITH CARTOON EJACULATE.
AND THE THING IS, LEAVING IT UP
TO INDIVIDUALS TO "BEHAVE
NO
RESPONSIBLY" IS LIKELY TO CAUSE
IMMEDIATE PROBLEMS.
NO
BECAUSE WHILE BUSINESSES CAN
STILL REQUIRE PEOPLE TO WEAR
NO
MASKS, THE LACK OF A STATEWIDE
MANDATE COULD MAKE THINGS
DIFFICULT FOR THEM, AS THIS
BAR OWNER WILL TELL YOU.
>> YOU KNOW, WE'RE VERY USED
TO MAKING PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY
DON'T WANT TO DO.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN I.D.,
YOU CAN'T DRIVE DRUNK.
THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE, WITHOUT
A MANDATE FROM THE GOVERNMENT,
MAKES IT SEEM LIKE AN OPTIONAL
THING, AND SOMETHING THEY WANT
TO ARGUE ABOUT.
THE STATE ITSELF COULD GIVE US
THE COVER TO SAY, IT'S NOT ME,
IT'S THEM.
>> John: YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE!
ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, CBS REALLY
DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL US HE WAS
THE OWNER OF A BAR CALLED
"THE COTTONMOUTH CLUB."
GIVEN THAT HAT, THERE WERE
REALLY ONLY THREE OPTIONS:
BAR OWNER, SKA BAND HYPE MAN,
AND SPACE MECHANIC.
THAT'S IT.
AND WHILE I DO TAKE HIS LARGER
POINT, THAT IT'S SHITTY TO
MAKE BAR AND RESTAURANT
EMPLOYEES RESPONSIBLE FOR
ENFORCING PUBLIC SAFETY, I'M
GUESSING HE PERSONALLY HAS
THE CONFIDENCE TO DO THAT, GIVEN
THAT HE WENT ON CBS THIS MORNING
IN "THE FULL PHARRELL"
MEANWHILE, THIS WEEK THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN BUSY.
IN ADDITION TO THE SENATE
FINALLY PASSING THE COVID RELIEF
BILL, THE FBI DIRECTOR GAVE SOME
SIGNIFICANT TESTIMONY.
>> IN HIS FIRST APPEARANCE
BEFORE CONGRESS SINCE THE
JANUARY 6TH INSURRECTION,
FBI DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER WRAY
WAS SPECIFIC AND BLUNT ABOUT
WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE.
>> QUITE A NUMBER OF WHAT WE
WOULD CALL SORT OF "MILITIA
VIOLENT EXTREMISTS" --
PROUD BOYS OR THE OATH KEEPERS.
WE'VE ALREADY IDENTIFIED
INDIVIDUALS WHO ADVOCATE FOR
WHAT YOU WOULD CALL
WHITE SUPREMACY.
>> AND WHAT OF THE CONSPIRACIES
CLAIMING THAT IT WAS REALLY
LEFT WING RADICALS POSING AS
TRUMP SUPPORTERS WHO ATTACKED
THE CAPITOL?
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY EVIDENCE THAT
THE CAPITOL ATTACK WAS ORGANIZED
BY "FAKE TRUMP PROTESTERS?"
>> WE HAVE NOT SEEN EVIDENCE OF
THAT.
>> John: YEAH, OF COURSE YOU
HAVEN'T, BECAUSE IT'S NOT
FUCKING TRUE.
AND DESPITE EVERYTHING,
IT'S STILL AMAZING THAT HE HAS
TO DEBUNK A CONSPIRACY THEORY
THAT'S SO CLEARLY FALSE.
IT'D BE LIKE HAVING TO SWEAR
UNDER OATH THAT THREE LEMURS
IN A TRENCH COAT DIDN'T COMMIT
THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING.
OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T, AND
ANYONE WHO SUGGESTED THEY DID
CLEARLY HAS SOME SIGNIFICANTLY
BIGGER PROBLEMS.
NOW THAT TESTIMONY WAS PRETTY
NEWSWORTHY.
BUT WHILE SOME NETWORKS
TOOK THE HEARINGS LIVE, FOX,
UNSURPRISINGLY, BARELY
COVERED IT.
IN FACT, ACROSS CONSERVATIVE
MEDIA, YOU'D HARDLY KNOW IT HAD
HAPPENED.
BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY WITH
THIS.
>> DR. SEUSS GETTING CANCELED.
THE CHILDREN'S BOOK PUBLISHER
SAYS IT WILL STOP RELEASING SIX
OF HIS BOOKS.
>> THE CANCEL CULTURE GOING
AFTER DR. SEUSS TONIGHT.
>> DR. SEUSS BOOKS ARE NOW TOO
INSENSITIVE AND EVEN RACIST FOR
THIS MOB.
>> THEY ARE BANNING DR. SEUSS
BOOKS.
HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED TO SEE
BEFORE ALL OF AMERICA WAKES UP
AND GOES, "THIS IS FASCISM"?
>> John: OH, I DON'T KNOW,
UH, A LOT MORE?
BECAUSE THE BOOKS WEREN'T
"BANNED."
DR. SEUSS ENTERPRISES DECIDED TO
STOP PRINTING SIX OF THEM.
AND A COMPANY DECIDING WHICH OF
ITS OWN BOOKS IT WILL OR WON'T
PRINT IS AN EXAMPLE OF FREE
ENTERPRISE, NOT FASCISM.
IT'D MAKE AS MUCH SENSE TO
ARGUE, "THEY'RE BANNING
UNICYCLES.
HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU NEED TO SEE
BEFORE AMERICA WAKES UP AND
SAYS, THIS IS
TRANSCENDENTALISM?"
THE FIRST THING ISN'T EVEN TRUE,
AND I'VE GOT NO IDEA HOW YOU GOT
FROM THERE TO THE SECOND PART.
AND GIVEN HOW STRONGLY ALL THOSE
COMMENTATORS WERE DEFENDING
THOSE BOOKS, IT'S WORTH KNOWING
WHAT, EXACTLY, THEY'RE
DEFENDING.
BECAUSE THE IMAGES IN QUESTION
INCLUDE THIS OLD-TIMEY
CARICATURE OF "A CHINESE MAN
WHO EATS WITH STICKS," ACTUALLY
TONED DOWN FROM THE ORIGINAL,
WHERE HE WAS LITERALLY YELLOW,
AND CALLED THIS, AND THERE'S
ALSO DRAWINGS THAT RESEMBLE
MONKEYS, REPRESENTING PEOPLE
FROM AFRICA.
AND ARE THESE THINGS WE REALLY
WANT TO FIGHT FOR KIDS TO SEE?
TO BE HONEST, I'M SQUEAMISH
ABOUT SHOWING THEM TO YOU RIGHT
NOW, AND JUST THREE MINUTES AGO,
I WAS HAPPY TO SUBJECT YOU TO
A BASKETBALL ARENA JIZZ STORM.
THE POINT IS, THESE IMAGES ARE
ROUGH, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY,
FOR THE MOST PART, FOX DIDN'T
ACTUALLY SHOW THEM.
INSTEAD, OFTEN FOCUSING ON BOOKS
THAT AREN'T EVEN BEING
QUESTIONED.
TUCKER CARLSON FOCUSED A WHOLE
SEGMENT ON "THE SNEETCHES" --
WHICH ISN'T BEING PULLED -- SO
HE COULD PLAY HIS FAVORITE GAME:
LIBERALS ARE THE REAL RACISTS.
>> FOR 60 YEARS, AMERICAN
CHILDREN HAVE READ
"THE SNEETCHES" AND BOOKS
LIKE IT, AND THAT'S ONE OF THE
REASONS WE HAVE THE COUNTRY WE
HAVE TODAY.
THE STORY IS A PLEA FOR
COLORBLINDNESS, AND THAT'S WHY
THE FORCES OF WOKENESS HATE IT
AND DR. SEUSS.
WHEN THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE CANCEL
DR. SEUSS, WHAT THEY'RE REALLY
TRYING TO ELIMINATE IS A VERY
SPECIFIC KIND OF MID-CENTURY
AMERICAN CULTURE, A CULTURE THAT
CHAMPIONED MERITOCRACY AND
COLORBLINDNESS.
>> John: FIRST, SHUT THE FUCK
UP, TUCKER, YOU FEAR-MONGERING
LACROSSE INJURY.
SECOND, IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD TO
CLAIM THAT MID-CENTURY AMERICAN
CULTURE CHAMPIONED
COLORBLINDNESS WHEN SIGNS
FROM THE TIME EXPLICITLY
DEMANDED THE OPPOSITE.
IN FACT, TO THE EXTENT ANYONE IS
TRYING TO ELIMINATE SOME PARTS
OF AMERICAN CULTURE, IT'S THE
PARTS THAT PERPETUATE RACISM,
XENOPHOBIA, AND BIGOTRY.
BUT IT'S NOT HARD TO SEE WHY
TUCKER WOULD BE SO ANXIOUS TO
TALK ABOUT DR. SEUSS THIS WEEK.
BECAUSE IF HE'D TALKED ABOUT
CHRISTOPHER WRAY'S TESTIMONY
ABOUT WHITE SUPREMACISTS
PARTICIPATING IN THE ATTACK
ON THE CAPITOL, IT WOULD'VE
CONTRADICTED WHAT HE'S BEEN
TELLING HIS VIEWERS FOR WEEKS
NOW, LIKE, "THERE'S NO EVIDENCE
THAT WHITE SUPREMACISTS WERE
RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED
ON JANUARY 6TH.
THAT'S A LIE."
SO INSTEAD, TUCKER AND
CONSERVATIVE MEDIA FELL BACK ON
THEIR CLASSIC PLAYBOOK OF
DISTRACTING FROM IMPORTANT
ISSUES WITH BULLSHIT
CULTURE WARS.
IT'S INCREDIBLY LAZY AND
DEPRESSINGLY EFFECTIVE.
AND THE THING IS, NO MATTER HOW
MANY TIMES I SEE THEM DO IT,
IT NEVER FAILS TO LEAVE ME
FEELING COMPLETELY DISGUSTED,
AND LIKE THERE'S NO WAY TO GET
CLEAN.
♪ ♪
OH, NO!
NO, PLEASE, NO!
NO, NOT LIKE THIS!
NO, I DON'T WANT THIS!
HOW IS THIS FUN FOR ANYONE?
PLEASE STOP AT!
I FEEL DIRTIER NOW.
AND NOW THIS.
STOP IT!
>> Announcer: AND NOW,
NEIL CAVUTO REALLY LOVES ADELE.
>> DO YOU FIND IT A TAD BIT
CURIOUS, ON MONDAY, WHEN THE DOW
WAS UP 143 POINTS, THE FIRST DAY
OF TRADING AFTER THE SINGER
ADELE HAD SWEPT T THE GRAMMYS.
>> SCIENTIST IN BRAZIL HAVE
FOUND THAT LISTENING TO HER
MUSIC COULD REDUCE STRESS AND
HELP TO KEEP PEOPLE'S HEART
HEALTHY.
I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THIS FOR
YEARS.
>> I AM WAITING ON ADELE TO CALL
ME AND UPDATE ME.
>> MICHAEL, ARE YOU A ADELE FAN?
>> LET ME ASK YOU ABOUT THIS.
ADELE.
>IT'S BECAUSE WE DIDN'T EVEN GET
TO TALK ABOUT ADELE.
>> DO WE KNOW, ARE THERE ANY
ADELE UPDATES?
I WILL POINT OUT THAT ADELE
NEVER HAD ANY ISSUES.
SORRY, TAYLOR, YOU HAVE NOT
TOPPED ADELE.
I COULDN'T IMAGINE ADELE DOING
IT.
IT MAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE
UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I HAVE THIS
FIXATION BECAUSE SHE'S YOUNG
ENOUGH TO BE MY DAUGHTER.
>> I THINK THAT IS THE MARKET'S
WAY OF SAYING HELLO, HELLO,
HELLO, HELLO.
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
UNEMPLOYMENT.
THE THING THAT WOULD ABSOLUTELY
HAPPEN TO ME IF AT&T EXECUTIVES
EVER FIND OUT WHAT I'VE BEEN
SAYING ABOUT THEM.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, WHAT ARE
THEY GOING TO DO?
LOOK IT UP ONLINE?
HOW?
WITH THEIR INTERNET PLAN?
AND THEN CALL SOMEONE?
USING AT&T?
I THINK I'M FINE.
UNEMPLOYMENT CAN BE A TRAUMATIC
EVENT FOR ANYONE, EVEN PUPPETS.
>> WHY ISN'T MOMMY AT WORK
TODAY?
>> YESTERDAY, I LOST MY JOB.
AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE WORKING,
AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
>> IS IT BECAUSE ELMO HAS TOO
MANY TOYS?
>> OH, NO, NO, BABY, NONE OF
THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
>> IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT.
>> John: WELL, WELL, HOLD ON.
ARE WE ABSOLUTELY SURE IT'S NOT
ELMO'S FAULT?
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT PLANE
COSTS, BUT I DO KNOW MAINTAINING
A CRAYON-COLORED, LIMINAL
APARTMENT WHERE YOU LIVE
PART-TIME WITH DOROTHY,
YOUR PET FISH, MIGHT BE A
PROBLEM FOR YOUR NOW ONE-INCOME
FAMILY.
SO IT'S NOT NOT YOUR FAULT,
ELMO.
BUT ALSO, QUICK SHOUT-OUT TO
ELMO'S MOM THERE.
SHE'S GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT,
BUT STILL MANAGED TO GET HER
HAIR UP IN TWO STRAND TWISTS
BEFORE SHE WENT TO BED THE NIGHT
BEFORE.
SHE'S TAKING CARE OF HERSELF AND
PROTECTING THOSE EDGES.
DROP THE ROUTINE, MAE!
POST THE SHELFIE ON THE GRAM.
WHAT ARE YOUR HOLY GRAIL
PRODUCTS?
PATTERN BEAUTY?
SHEA MOISTURE?
OR ARE YOU STILL ROCKIN' IT
OLD SCHOOL WITH A BOTTLE OF
PINK OIL AND A JAR OF JAM?
I SEE YOU, ELMO'S MOM!
BUT EVEN FOR THE NON-PUPPET
POPULATION, UNEMPLOYMENT IS AN
ESPECIALLY PERTINENT TOPIC RIGHT
NOW.
IT'S BEEN ALMOST EXACTLY A YEAR
SINCE THE PANDEMIC HIT, AND TENS
OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE LOST THEIR
JOBS -- MANY OF WHOM FILED FOR
UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE, OR
"UNEMPLOYMENT."
OUR CURRENT SYSTEM WAS CREATED
IN THE 1930s.
AND THE BASIC IDEA WAS, LIKE
MOST INSURANCE, TO GATHER FUNDS,
PARTICULARLY IN GOOD TIMES, SO
THERE'D BE MONEY AVAILABLE TO
DISBURSE IN BAD TIMES.
AND TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS,
STATES WOULD TAX EMPLOYERS.
THE CONCEPT WAS ENTHUSIASTICALLY
PROMOTED AT THE TIME, WITH
EDUCATIONAL FILMS LIKE THIS.
>> TO SHOW HOW JOB INSURANCE
WORKS, LET'S INTRODUCE STEVE,
A LOUISIANA WORKER WHO HAS JUST
LOST HIS JOB.
NOW EACH WEEK, THE LETTER
CARRIER BRINGS STEVE A CHECK
FOR HALF THE NORMAL WEEKLY WAGE
HE USED TO EARN.
THE MAXIMUM IS $15, THE MINIMUM
IS $5, OR THREE-FOURTHS OF HIS
EARNINGS.
JOB INSURANCE, THIS IS THE WAY
THE STATE OF LOUISIANA IS DOING
ITS PART IN THE NATIONWIDE
CRUSADE AGAINST UNEMPLOYMENT,
FEAR, AND INSECURITY.
>> John: YES!
ATTA BOY, STEVE!
THAT NEWSREEL, OF COURSE, FROM
THE MAKERS OF SUCH CLASSICS AS
"AMELIA EARHEART: THE WOMAN WHO
WILL NEVER DIE," AND "HOW TO
FIGHT THE NAZIS EVEN THOUGH,
GIVEN THIS ERA'S PREVALENT
ANTI-SEMITISM, YOU MOSTLY LIKELY
AGREE WITH A LOT OF WHAT THEY'RE
SAYING."
BUT UNEMPLOYMENT WASN'T JUST
CREATED TO SAVE OUR NATION'S
STEVES FROM FEAR AND INSECURITY.
ECONOMISTS GENERALLY AGREE THAT
UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE IS
ACTUALLY ONE OF THE MOST
EFFECTIVE POLICIES FOR
RECOVERING FROM A RECESSION.
WHICH MAKES SENSE.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU GIVE THE
UNEMPLOYED MONEY, THEY TEND
NOT TO HOARD IT OFFSHORE
IN THE CAYMANS.
THEY SPEND IT ON SHIT THEY NEED.
IN FACT, ANALYSIS FROM PAST
RECESSIONS SHOWS, EVERY DOLLAR
SPENT ON UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS
BOOSTED ECONOMYWIDE SPENDING BY
AS MUCH AS $2.
SO IT'S A VITAL SOCIAL SAFETY
NET AND HAS MASSIVE
MACROECONOMIC EFFECTS.
BUT DESPITE THAT, OVER THE
YEARS, OUR SYSTEM HAS BADLY
BROKEN DOWN.
SOMETHING THAT BECAME PAINFULLY
CLEAR THIS TIME LAST YEAR WHEN
IT WAS OVERWHELMED BY NEW
CLAIMS.
WE FEATURED STORIES ON THIS SHOW
OF PEOPLE HAVING TO CALL
50 TIMES A DAY JUST TO MAKE AN
UNEMPLOYMENT CLAIM.
BUT THAT WAS THE TIP OF THE
ICEBERG.
>> KENTUCKY RESIDENTS POURED
INTO THE CAPITAL FOR THEIR FIRST
CHANCE TO GET AN IN-PERSON
MEETING AT A POP-UP UNEMPLOYMENT
OFFICE SINCE THE PANDEMIC BEGAN.
BREANNA GLASS APPLIED THREE
MONTHS AGO AND IS STILL HAVING
TROUBLE GETTING PAYMENTS.
SHE STOOD IN LINE YESTERDAY JUST
DAYS AFTER GIVING BIRTH.
>> I MEAN, I'VE CALLED, I'VE
EMAILED.
I DID EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY
COULD.
AND STILL, NOTHING.
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
WAITING IN LINE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT
JUST AFTER GIVING BIRTH IS
ALREADY APPALLING.
BUT THE VERY PHRASE "POP-UP
UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE" IS TRULY
ALARMING.
MUCH LIKE "EMERGENCY
CREMATORIUM" OR "ELEPHANT
FORCEPS," IT SUGGESTS THINGS
HAVE GONE TERRIBLY WRONG AND
ARE ABOUT TO GET SIGNIFICANTLY
WORSE.
NOW, SOME OF LAST YEAR'S CHAOS
WAS BECAUSE STATES' ANTIQUATED
SYSTEMS WERE SIMPLY OVERWHELMED.
BUT IT'S A MISTAKE TO THINK OF
THIS MERELY AS A TECHNOLOGICAL
PROBLEM.
BECAUSE THE SYSTEM UNDERNEATH
THAT SHITTY TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN
BROKEN FOR YEARS NOW, AND
SOMETIMES DELIBERATELY.
A QUICK WAY TO MEASURE THE
HEALTH OF A STATE'S SYSTEM IS
THROUGH ITS "RECIPIENCY RATE" --
THAT IS BASICALLY, THE
PERCENTAGE OF UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE
THAT ACTUALLY RECEIVE BENEFITS.
NOW, IT WILL NEVER BE 100%
IN THIS COUNTRY, BECAUSE --
RIGHTLY OR WRONGLY -- NOT
EVERYONE OUT OF WORK IS
ELIGIBLE.
GENERALLY, ONLY THOSE WHO ARE
LAID OFF ARE.
AND THAT IS JUST OVER
HALF THE UNEMPLOYED.
THE REST -- LIKE THOSE FRESH
OUT OF SCHOOL, OR WHO QUIT
VOLUNTARILY, OR WHO WERE
FIRED -- ARE GENERALLY NOT
COVERED.
THAT IS WHY, EXPERTS SAY THAT
UNDER OUR CURRENT SYSTEM,
A GOOD RULE OF THUMB IS THAT
A STATE'S RECIPIENCY RATE SHOULD
BE AROUND 50%.
THE PROBLEM IS, NATIONALLY,
EVEN BEFORE THIS PANDEMIC,
WE WERE AT JUST 28%.
AND IN SOME STATES,
LIKE NORTH CAROLINA AND FLORIDA,
IT WAS AROUND 10%!
JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT
MEANS: OUT OF EVERY TEN
UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE IN THOSE
STATES, ONLY ONE IS ACTUALLY
RECEIVING BENEFITS.
IF YOU BOARDED AN AIRPLANE AND
LEARNED THAT ONLY ONE IN TEN
SEATS HAD AN OXYGEN MASK,
YOU'D WONDER "WHO DESIGNED THIS
SYSTEM?," "WHY DID THEY MAKE IT
THIS WAY?"
AND "HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE
RIGHT FUCKING NOW?"
SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, LET'S
LOOK AT OUR CURRENT UNEMPLOYMENT
SYSTEM.
AND THE FIRST THING TO KNOW IS,
IT IS NOT ONE SYSTEM.
FROM THE VERY START, STATES WERE
GIVEN HUGE LATITUDE IN RUNNING
THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT PROGRAMS.
MEANING WE ESSENTIALLY HAVE
53 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SYSTEMS,
ONE FOR EACH STATE, PLUS D.C.,
PUERTO RICO, AND
THE VIRGIN ISLANDS.
AND NOT ONLY IS THAT
INEFFICIENT, IT MEANS THE LEVEL
OF BENEFITS VARY WILDLY.
>> MASSACHUSETTS PAYS THE MOST,
UP TO $1234 A WEEK.
FLORIDA'S MAXIMUM?
$275 A WEEK.
>> John: THAT IS A HELL OF
A DIFFERENCE.
IT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE MIGHT WANT
TO FACTOR IN IF THEY'RE
CONSIDERING MOVING SOMEWHERE.
"WELL, THE CLIMATE SEEMS NICER,
AND THE SCHOOLS SEEM DECENT --
BEFORE I GO, LET ME JUST GOOGLE,
IF I LOSE MY JOB, WILL THIS
STATE LET ME STARVE?"
AND IT'S NOT JUST WHERE YOU LIVE
THAT DETERMINES YOUR BENEFITS.
IT ALSO MATTERS WHAT YOU DO.
BECAUSE MANY PART-TIME WORKERS,
PLUS INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS AND
GIG WORKERS TYPICALLY DON'T
QUALIFY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT.
WHICH IS ABSURD, GIVEN THAT
THOSE JOBS MAKE UP A SIGNIFICANT
PORTION OF OUR MODERN WORKFORCE.
AND INCIDENTALLY, BLACK WORKERS
ARE OVERREPRESENTED IN THOSE
TYPES OF JOBS, JUST AS THEY'RE
OVERREPRESENTED IN THE STATES
WITH THE LEAST-GENEROUS
BENEFITS, WHICH MIGHT EXPLAIN
WHY BLACK WORKERS ARE MORE
LIKELY TO BE UNEMPLOYED, BUT
LESS LIKELY TO GET UNEMPLOYMENT
BENEFITS.
AND INEQUITY WAS BAKED INTO
THE SYSTEM FROM THE VERY
BEGINNING.
IN THE 1930s, AGRICULTURAL AND
DOMESTIC WORKERS WERE INITIALLY
PURPOSELY EXCLUDED, MEANING THAT
65% OF BLACK WORKERS WEREN'T
COVERED BY THE PROGRAM.
IT SEEMS IN THE U.S., YOU CAN
BASICALLY POINT TO ANYTHING,
ASK "HOW IS THAT RACIST," AND
GET A SPECIFIC, HISTORICAL
ANSWER.
FREEWAYS?
DEMOLISHED BLACK COMMUNITIES.
MICKEY MOUSE?
BASED ON MINSTREL SHOWS.
THIS TODDLER?
WELL, HIS NAME IS KENDALL,
SO IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.
THE POINT IS, IN MANY STATES,
FOR MYRIAD REASONS, YOU MAY NOT
BE ABLE TO GET UNEMPLOYMENT,
AND EVEN IF YOU DO, IT MAY NOT
BE ENOUGH TO LIVE ON.
THAT IS SOMETHING THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT SEEMED TO ACKNOWLEDGE
WAS A PROBLEM LAST YEAR, WHEN
IT SUDDENLY TEMPORARILY EXPANDED
UNEMPLOYMENT TO COVER MORE
WORKERS, AND BOOSTED BENEFITS
BY $600 ACROSS THE BOARD.
SO HOW DID OUR SYSTEM GET THIS
SHITTY?
AND WHOSE FAULT IS IT?
IS IT ELMO'S?
THE ANSWER'S NOT DEFINITELY "NO"
YET.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, A LOT OF THE
SYSTEM'S SHORTCOMINGS WERE THE
RESULT OF DELIBERATE CHOICES.
FOR ONE, REMEMBER, BUSINESSES
FUND UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE,
THROUGH TAXES THAT GO INTO
STATE TRUST FUNDS.
AND AFTER THE LAST FINANCIAL
CRISIS DRAINED THOSE FUNDS,
STATES NEEDED TO RESTORE THEM.
BUT RATHER THAN DO THE SENSIBLE
THING -- RAISE TAXES TO GET MORE
MONEY COMING IN -- MANY OPTED TO
INSTEAD JUST CUT BENEFITS AND
MAKE THEM HARDER TO GET.
AND AS THEY DID THIS, SOME IN
THE NATIONAL MEDIA CHEERED THEM
ON, LIKE SENTIENT PLANTATION
WEDDING, LAURA INGRAHAM.
>> IT'S SIMPLE HUMAN NATURE THAT
PEOPLE ARE A LITTLE LESS
MOTIVATED AS LONG AS THERE'S
A CHECK COMING IN.
YOU KNOW WHAT MY MOM USED TO
SAY -- GOD REST HER SOUL -- WHEN
YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU'LL FIGURE OUT
A WAY TO EAT.
RIGHT?
HUNGER BRINGS DRIVE, HUNGER
FOR OPPORTUNITY, HUNGER
FOR A PAYCHECK, HUNGER FOR
ACTUAL FOOD, HUNGER FOR A
LIFESTYLE, A WAY OF LIFE.
BOY, YOU FIND IT WHEN THERE'S
NO HELPING HAND.
>> John: WOW.
"WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU'LL
FIGURE OUT A WAY TO EAT."
WELL, SOMETIMES, LAURA.
THE PROBLEM IS, SOMETIMES NOT!
AND THEN IT'S A TRAGEDY.
THERE'S A REASON THAT FAMINES
AREN'T GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS
"A LACK OF CAN-DO ATTITUDE."
AND THAT KIND OF RHETORIC
HAS BECOME PRETTY POPULAR.
YOUR MOST RACIST UNCLE HAS
UNDOUBTEDLY SAID SOMETHING
SIMILAR, PROBABLY TO A WAITRESS
AT RED LOBSTER, COMPLETELY
RUINING MOTHER'S DAY.
AND THAT SPEAKS TO THE KIND OF
ATTITUDES TOWARD THE
UNEMPLOYED -- RANGING FROM
SIMMERING CONTEMPT TO A CALLOUS
DISREGARD -- THAT LIE BENEATH
MANY STATES' AGGRESSIVE POLICY
CHANGES OVER THE PAST DECADE.
STARTING IN 2012, TENNESSEE
PASSED LAWS MAKING THE PROCESS
TO APPLY FAR MORE DIFFICULT.
ONE JUSTIFICATION BEING THAT
SOMEHOW, LOADS OF PEOPLE
INELIGIBLE FOR BENEFITS WERE
STILL GETTING THEM.
WHICH IS NONSENSE, BUT SOMETHING
THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR BACK
THEN, RON RAMSEY, CERTAINLY
BELIEVED.
>> IF YOU WERE FIRED FROM YOUR
JOB FOR JUST CAUSE, MAYBE EVEN
FOR STEALING FROM YOUR EMPLOYER
OR CHRONIC ABSENTEEISM, YOU
SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DRAW
UNEMPLOYMENT.
>> YOU DON'T GET UNEMPLOYMENT
INSURANCE IF YOU'RE FIRED WITH
CAUSE NOW.
>> THE LAW SAYS THEY'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO, BUT, BUDDY, LET ME
ASSURE YOU, NINE TIMES OUT OF
TEN, THEY GET THEIR WORKERS
COMP, OR THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT.
I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT'S
THE CASE.
>> NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN?
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,
OKAY.
THAT WAS -- THAT WAS A
RON RAMSEY BLANKET STATEMENT
THERE, BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF
EXAMPLES THAT THEY GET IT.
>> John: OH, YEAH!
DON'T WORRY -- THAT'S JUST
A CLASSIC RON RAMSEY BLANKET
STATEMENT.
AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN GOOD
HANDS WHEN A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL
LIES ENOUGH TO WARRANT
A FUCKING TRADEMARK.
NOW RAMSEY ALSO ARGUED FOR
DRUG-TESTING THE UNEMPLOYED,
SAYING, I DON'T THINK WE NEED
TO BE SUPPORTING THAT LIFESTYLE
WITH GOVERNMENT MONEY.
WHICH IS NOT JUST AN OBVIOUS
ATTEMPT TO STIGMATIZE, IT ALSO
IGNORES THAT DRUGS ARE ACTUALLY
HELPFUL IN SOME JOBS.
LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, THIS ONE.
HOW DO YOU THINK I TALK THIS
FAST ABOUT THINGS THIS
DEPRESSING?
WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK THIS
WHITE VOID IS MADE OUT OF?
I'M SURROUNDED BY WEAPONS-GRADE
COCAINE.
AND IT WASN'T JUST TENNESSEE --
LOTS OF STATES PUT IN NEW,
ONEROUS REQUIREMENTS, TO MAKE
SURE THAT PEOPLE GETTING
BENEFITS "DESERVED" THEM.
FOR INSTANCE, NEBRASKA STARTED
REQUIRING FIVE "WORK SEARCH"
ACTIVITIES PER WEEK, WHICH COULD
INCLUDE ATTENDING A RESUME
WRITING CLASS OR TAKING
A CIVIL SERVICE EXAM,
BUT AT LEAST TWO OF WHICH
HAD TO BE APPLICATIONS FOR
SUITABLE WORK.
BUT IF THERE AREN'T TWO SUITABLE
WORK OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU TO
APPLY FOR THAT WEEK, YOU'RE SHIT
OUT OF LUCK.
AND THE PROBLEM IS, EACH
ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENT LIKE THAT
INCREASES THE CHANCES THAT
SOMEONE'S GOING TO MAKE A
MISTAKE, OR FAIL TO CHECK A BOX,
AND GET DENIED BENEFITS THEY
NEED.
AND AS THEY WERE DOING THIS,
STATES WERE ALSO AGGRESSIVELY
TARGETING FRAUD.
WHICH ISN'T, IN ITSELF,
A BAD IDEA.
STATES DO LOSE MONEY TO FRAUD.
BEFORE THE PANDEMIC HIT, IT
WASN'T A LOT -- AN AVERAGE OF
3%.
BUT THAT ACTUALLY SURGED LAST
YEAR, WHEN ORGANIZED CRIMINALS
TARGETED UNEMPLOYMENT PROGRAMS,
AND CALIFORNIA ALONE SAID IT
LOST $11 BILLION.
BUT THE THING IS,
YOU HAVE TO BE VERY PRECISE
IN HOW YOU GO AFTER FRAUD.
BECAUSE IF A CLAIM IS WRONGLY
FLAGGED, IT CAN BE SIGNIFICANTLY
DELAYED, AND INNOCENT PEOPLE
THEN GET HURT.
THAT IS SOMETHING KENTUCKY'S
GOVERNOR RECENTLY FOUND WHEN HE
SHARED WHAT HE CLEARLY THOUGHT
WAS A PRETTY FLAGRANT EXAMPLE.
>> WE HAD SOMEONE APPLY FOR
UNEMPLOYMENT FOR TUPAC SHAKUR
HERE IN KENTUCKY.
AND THAT PERSON PROBABLY THOUGHT
THEY WERE BEING FUNNY.
THEY PROBABLY DID.
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT,
BECAUSE OF THEM, WE'VE GOTTA GO
THROUGH SO MANY OTHER CLAIMS.
>> John: OKAY.
HE MADE A VERY CONFIDENT,
PUBLIC EXAMPLE OF
THAT, BECAUSE HE KNEW: NO ONE
COULD BE CALLED TUPAC SHAKUR,
RIGHT?
THAT IS JUST NOT A NAME PEOPLE
HAVE.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FAMOUSLY,
THIS GUY BUT WE ALL KNOW, HE'S
LIVING IN THE FALKLAND ISLANDS
RIGHT NOW.
NO ONE ELSE COULD HAVE THAT
NAME.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.
I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S COMING
NEXT.
>> I OWE SOMEBODY AN APOLOGY
TONIGHT.
LAST NIGHT, I SPENT A LITTLE BIT
OF TIME TALKING ABOUT FRAUDULENT
CLAIMS HOLDING US UP.
I MENTIONED AN INDIVIDUAL WHO
FILED IN THE NAME OF
TUPAC SHAKUR.
I DIDN'T KNOW, AND IT'S MY
FAULT, THAT WE HAVE A KENTUCKIAN
WHO GOES BY MALIK, WHOSE NAME IS
TUPAC SHAKUR.
I TALKED TO HIM ON THE PHONE
TODAY, I APOLOGIZED.
>> John: YEAH, I BET YOU DID.
AND I WILL SAY, THAT'S YET
ANOTHER EXAMPLE THAT NOTHING
GOOD CAN EVER COME FROM
A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE MAN KNOWING
ANYTHING ABOUT RAP.
PERIOD.
WE JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT.
THAT'S HOW YOU GET MACKLEMORE.
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "HEY,
WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT
MACKLEMORE?,"
YOU'RE VERY MUCH PART OF
THE PROBLEM HERE.
AND SOME MISTAKES HAPPENED
ON A MUCH BIGGER SCALE.
MICHIGAN ROLLED OUT A NEW SYSTEM
IN 2013, WHICH FLAGGED TENS OF
THOUSANDS OF CASES FOR FRAUD.
UNFORTUNATELY, A REVIEW
FOUR YEARS LATER FOUND IT HAD
A 70% ERROR RATE.
MEANING THEY'D FALSELY ACCUSED
MORE THAN 40,000 PEOPLE OF
FRAUDULENTLY CLAIMING BENEFITS,
AND HAD BEEN WRONGFULLY
RECOUPING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF
MONEY FROM MANY OF THEM.
AND THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORD
"RECOUP" THERE IS, IT SOUNDS
KIND OF BLOODLESS, UNTIL YOU
REALIZE THAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE
REQUIRED TO REPAY THEIR BENEFITS
AT A 400% PENALTY.
WHICH IS JUST BRUTAL.
IT'S LIKE A HOSPITAL MISTAKENLY
THINKING A PATIENT WROTE A BAD
CHECK, AND DECIDING TO "RECOUP"
THEIR FUCKING HIP REPLACEMENT.
HEY!
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, AND
I REALLY NEEDED THAT!
AND IF YOU WANT TO SEE HOW ALL
OF THIS -- POOR TECHNOLOGY, DEEP
BENEFIT CUTS, AND ABSURD
ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS -- CAN
COME TOGETHER TO BREAK A VITAL
SOCIAL PROGRAM, LOOK NO FURTHER
THAN FLORIDA.
AMERICA'S VESTIGIAL TAIL.
FLORIDA'S PREVIOUS GOVERNOR,
AND SLENDERMAN UNDERSTUDY
RICK SCOTT, TOOK A HATCHET
TO THE STATE'S PROGRAM
WHILE IN POWER.
WHEN HE WAS SWORN IN, EMPLOYERS
THAT YEAR PAID AN AVERAGE OF
$319 PER EMPLOYEE IN
UNEMPLOYMENT TAXES.
BY THE TIME HE LEFT OFFICE,
THEY WERE PAYING JUST $50 PER
EMPLOYEE -- THE LOWEST IN THE
COUNTRY, AND LESS THAN ONE-FIFTH
THE NATIONAL AVERAGE.
AND TO BALANCE THOSE CUTS OUT --
AS SCOTT PROUDLY TOLD A
CONFERENCE OF YOUNG REPUBLICANS
IN 2019 -- HE FOUND WAYS TO KEEP
A LOT OF FLORIDIANS OFF
UNEMPLOYMENT.
>> ABOUT 22 MILLION PEOPLE LIVE
IN FLORIDA.
HOW MANY PEOPLE TODAY, THROW OUT
A GUESS, HOW MANY PEOPLE WHEN I
LEFT OFFICE WERE ON UNEMPLOYMENT
BENEFITS?
TEN MILLION IS ONE.
ANYBODY ELSE?
61,000.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
>> John: WOW, THAT IS SOME
NERVOUS APPLAUSE.
EVEN IN THAT ROOM, YOU CAN FEEL
PEOPLE THINKING, "WAIT, 61,000?
OUT OF 22 MILLION?
OH, THAT FEELS WAY TOO LOW.
IS WHAT HE DID TERRIBLE?
ARE WE ALL TERRIBLE?
AW, NEVER MIND, WE'RE
CLAPPING NOW.
OKAY, I DO FEEL BETTER WHEN WE
CLAP."
TO ACHIEVE THOSE NUMBERS, SCOTT
EMPLOYED ALL THE TACTICS YOU'VE
SEEN.
HE STARTED REQUIRING PEOPLE
DOCUMENT CONTACTS WITH FIVE
EMPLOYERS PER WEEK, REDUCED
TOTAL BENEFITS BY SLASHING
THE NUMBER OF WEEKS YOU COULD
RECEIVE THEM, AND THREW IN SOME
EXTRA OBSTACLES, LIKE REQUIRING
APPLICANTS TO COMPLETE A
45-QUESTION "SKILLS ASSESSMENT,"
TESTING THEIR READING, MATH, AND
RESEARCH SKILLS -- A POLICY SO
CLEARLY MEANT TO IMPEDE ACCESS,
THE DEPARTMENT OF LABOR'S
CIVIL RIGHTS DIVISION DETERMINED
IT VIOLATED FEDERAL
NONDISCRIMINATION LAW.
THE STATE ALSO FORCED EVERYONE
TO FILE ONLINE, AND ROLLED OUT
AN EXPENSIVE NEW CLAIMS SYSTEM,
WHICH WAS IMMEDIATELY PLAGUED
WITH GLITCHES.
AND DESPITE ALL OF HIS
REASSURANCES AT THE TIME THAT
THEY'D BE FIXED, THEY CLEARLY
WEREN'T, BECAUSE THE SYSTEM
CRASHED SO BADLY LAST YEAR, THEY
HAD TO SUDDENLY SHIFT TO PAPER
APPLICATIONS -- WHICH, IN THE
MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, BROUGHT A
WHOLE DIFFERENT SET OF PROBLEMS.
>> IT WAS NEAR BEDLAM AT THE
JOHN F. KENNEDY LIBRARY IN
HIALEAH.
A CROWD IN UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE
QUARTERS SHOVED ITS WAY FORWARD
WITH PEOPLE DESPERATE TO GET
THEIR HANDS ON ONE OF THESE,
AN APPLICATION FOR UNEMPLOYMENT
BENEFITS.
>> I AM SO SCARED.
I'M SCARED FOR MY LIFE.
JUST FOR AN APPLICATION.
>> John: YEAH, I'M SCARED FOR
YOUR LIFE, TOO, JUST WATCHING
THAT.
AND IT'S A TESTAMENT TO BOTH
THIS PANDEMIC AND FLORIDA'S
RIDICULOUS SYSTEM THAT I FEEL
THE SAME WHITE-KNUCKLE TERROR
WATCHING PEOPLE LINE UP FOR
UNEMPLOYMENT APPLICATIONS AS
I DO WHEN WATCHING A DAREDEVIL
JUMP A MOTORCYCLE OVER A ROW OF
BUSES.
ALTHOUGH, TO BE HONEST, IT'S
PROBABLY ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE FLORIDA MAKES BUS-JUMPING
A REQUIREMENT FOR APPLYING FOR
UNEMPLOYMENT THERE, TOO.
AND WHILE YOU COULD ARGUE THAT
THIS WAS JUST INCOMPETENCE,
YOU COULD ALSO ARGUE IT WAS
COMPLETELY DELIBERATE.
MANY FLORIDIANS ACTUALLY
SUGGESTED THAT LAST YEAR, ONE OF
WHOM WAS RICK SCOTT'S SUCCESSOR.
>> I THINK THE GOAL WAS FOR
WHOEVER DESIGNED IT WAS, LET'S
PUT AS MANY KIND OF POINTLESS
ROADBLOCKS ALONG THE WAY SO
PEOPLE JUST SAY, "OH, THE HELL
WITH IT.
I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT."
BUT I THINK DEFINITELY IN TERMS
OF HOW IT WAS INTERNALLY
CONSTRUCTED, YOU KNOW, IT WAS
DEFINITELY DONE IN A WAY TO LEAD
TO THE LEAST NUMBER OF -- OF
CLAIMS BEING PAID OUT.
>> John: WOW.
I GOTTA SAY, IT'S WEIRD TO HEAR
THIS ASSHOLE ACCURATELY CRITIQUE
THIS ASSHOLE.
IT'D BE LIKE HEARING
"TWITTER REALLY NEEDS TO TAKE
CARE OF ITS NAZI PROBLEM" FROM
MARK ZUCKERBERG.
SURE, IN ISOLATION, YOU'RE
MAKING A GOOD POINT.
YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE A
FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED MESSENGER.
BECAUSE BEFORE YOU GIVE DESANTIS
TOO MUCH CREDIT THERE, IT'S
WORTH KNOWING A STATE
INVESTIGATION FOUND THAT
AUDITORS HAD FLAGGED PROBLEMS
WITH FLORIDA'S SYSTEM IN 2015,
2016, AND 2019 -- AND NEITHER
THE SCOTT NOR DESANTIS
ADMINISTRATIONS FIXED
THE PROBLEMS.
AND FLORIDA'S DEEP AND
DELIBERATE NEGLECT OF ITS
UNEMPLOYMENT SYSTEM CAUSED
PEOPLE THERE REAL PAIN.
>> IF THE UNEMPLOYMENT CLAIM
FINALLY WENT THROUGH, WE'D BE
ABLE TO PAY OUR BILLS NO
PROBLEM.
BUT WE TRIED TO FILE FOR
UNEMPLOYMENT ONLINE AND IT WAS
AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE.
I CONSTANTLY HAVE A NAUSEOUS
FEELING IN MY STOMACH.
I TRY TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM
IT, BUT ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT --
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT
INTO WORDS.
I JUST -- I DON'T WANT EMMETT TO
SEE ME UPSET.
I'VE BEEN FIGHTING REALLY HARD
TO HOLD IT TOGETHER.
>> John: THAT'S TERRIBLE.
AND THE INFURIATING THING IS HOW
COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE IT IS.
WE COULD HELP HER.
IT'D BE BETTER FOR HER.
IT'D ACTUALLY BE BETTER
FOR THE BROADER ECONOMY.
AND YET WE'RE ACTIVELY CHOOSING
NOT TO DO IT.
WHICH IS A FUCKING DISGRACE.
SO HOW CAN WE FIX THIS SHIT
GOING FORWARD?
WELL, FIRST, THERE CAN NO LONGER
BE ANY ARGUMENT THAT OUR CURRENT
SYSTEM IS BROKEN.
AGAIN, THE GOVERNMENT'S ACTIONS
LAST YEAR -- RAISING PAYMENTS,
AND SCRAMBLING TO MAKE SURE THE
SYSTEM COVERED MORE WORKERS --
IS A PRETTY PUBLIC ADMISSION
THAT IT WAS FUCKED.
SO NOW YOU'VE GOT TO FIX IT.
IN THE VERY SHORT TERM, STATES
NEED FUNDING TO UPGRADE THEIR
BROKEN TECHNOLOGY.
THEY ALSO NEED TO REMOVE A LOT
OF THE STUPID OBSTACLES THAT
PREVENT APPLICANTS WHO NEED HELP
FROM GETTING IT.
BUT IN THE LONG TERM, WE NEED
SOME BIG CHANGES.
MANY EXPERTS AGREE, IF THE U.S.
GOT A DO-OVER, IT'D BE MUCH
BETTER TO GO WITH ONE FEDERAL
SYSTEM THAN 53 SEPARATE ONES.
SO WE SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT.
AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT WOULD
STOP STATES FROM BEING ABLE TO
SLASH THEIR PROGRAMS IN THE NAME
OF BEING "PRO-BUSINESS," AND
ENGAGING IN A RACE TO THE BOTTOM
ON TAXES.
BUT IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO
FEDERALIZE -- AND, AT THE
MOMENT, IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE NOT
-- CONGRESS SHOULD AT THE VERY
LEAST BE SETTING A BASIC
STANDARD FOR UNEMPLOYMENT
BENEFITS THAT STATES CANNOT
DROP BELOW.
ALL OF WHICH IS A LONG WAY OF
SAYING THAT WE NEED TO TAKE ALL
THE ENERGY WE'VE BEEN POURING IN
TO MAKING SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO
DON'T DESERVE PAYMENTS DON'T GET
THEM, AND PUT AT LEAST AS MUCH
ENERGY INTO MAKING SURE THAT
PEOPLE WHO REALLY NEED THEM DO.
AND TO NOT MAKE BIG CHANGES
AFTER THE FLAWS OF THIS SYSTEM
HAVE BEEN SO BRUTALLY EXPOSED
OVER THE LAST YEAR WOULD BE
UNFORGIVABLE.
AND IF WE DON'T FIX IT, WE'VE
GOT ABSOLUTELY NOBODY TO BLAME
BUT OURSELVES.
AND, POSSIBLY, ELMO.
I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY HOW,
BUT THE WHOLE THING DOES KIND OF
SEEM LIKE HIS FAULT.
AND NOW, THIS.
♪ ♪
>> Announcer: AND NOW...
RACHAEL RAY'S COMPLICATED
HISTORY WITH BAKING.
>> I FIND MOST CHALLENGING ABOUT
COOKING IS THE DISCIPLINE OF
BAKING.
MY OLDER SISTER IS VERY TALENTED
AT IT IT HAS BEEN SINCE SHE WAS
A SMALL GIRL.
IT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIC AND
THEREFORE I DECIDED I HATE
BAKING.
>> MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, FOR MY
MOM'S BIRTHDAY, I TRIED TO MAKE
HER FAVORITE CAKE, A LEMON
COTTAGE CAKE, A RECIPE FOR ME
'50s.
I TIPTOED AROUND MY HOUSE AND
THE SOX, THE CASE NEVER ROSE, I
CRIED FOR HOURS.
I HAD NOTHING TO GIVE HER FOR MY
BIRTHDAY.
>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER IN THE
FAMILY.
ONE CHRISTMAS, I MADE ALL THESE
COOKIES, THEY EACH HAD DIFFERENT
PERSONALITY, AND THE TWO DOGS
CAME IN AND ATE THE WHOLE TRAY.
>> THE DOG CAME IN, ATE ALL OF
THEM.
I AM A TERRIBLE BAKER.
>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER AND
THE FAMILY.
>> I HATE TO BAKER.
>> MY SISTER IS THE DESIGNATED
BAKER.
BAKING MAKES ME GRUMPY.
>> I TRIED TO BAKE COOKIES ONE
YEAR, I WAS THE MOST MISERABLE
PERSON, NOBODY WANTED TO BE
THERE ON CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I WAS
THERE.
>> I MADE SO MANY CHRISTMAS
COOKIES A COUPLE YEARS AGO.
MY HUSBAND TRIED TO LEAVE ME IF
I EVER DID IT AGAIN.
>> I SUCK AT BAKING.
>> MY SISTER IS THE BAKER.
I'M NOT A VERY GOOD BAKER.
>> MY SISTER IS A BETTER BAKER.
>> ME HERE THAT YOU NOT LOVE TO
BAKE.
>> DO YOU EVER COOK?
>> I BAKED.
>> MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER
I AM SO ENVIOUS.
>> I'M A TERRIBLE BAKER.
MY SISTER IS A FABULOUS BAKER.
>> MY SISTER IS A BAKER.
>> I DON'T BAKE.
I HATE BAKING!
>> THIS IS MY SISTER, THIS IS
MARIA.
[APPLAUSE]
>> HELLO.
♪ ♪
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪
OH, NO, NO, NOT AGAIN.
COME ON.
STOP IT.
PLEASE, STOP IT.
I REALLY DON'T WANT THE INTERNET
TO HAVE ACCESS TO THIS IMAGE.
PLEASE STOP IT.
♪ ♪
I WILL SAY THE SONG'S LAPSE.
THE SONG IS FINE.