1 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,179 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:24,149 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:33,090 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:33,280 >> John: HI THERE, WELCOME TO 5 00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:34,240 THE SHOW. 6 00:00:34,259 --> 00:00:35,280 STILL TAKING PLACE IN THIS BLANK 7 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:36,090 VOID. 8 00:00:36,109 --> 00:00:37,060 WHICH, FUN FACT, IS ACTUALLY 9 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,060 JUST A ZOOMED-IN PICTURE OF THIS 10 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,229 "I VOTED" STICKER. 11 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,090 WHICH IS GREAT! 12 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,130 UNFORTUNATELY, THAT STICKER IS 13 00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:44,090 ATTACHED TO JAMES WOODS, WHICH 14 00:00:44,109 --> 00:00:46,039 IS VERY MUCH NOT. 15 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,020 AND OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE GOING TO 16 00:00:48,039 --> 00:00:49,039 START WITH OUR MAIN STORY 17 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:50,229 TONIGHT, WHICH IS THE 2020 18 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,270 ELECTION, OR AS IT'S KNOWN FOR 19 00:00:51,289 --> 00:00:53,130 HORSES, "JUST ANOTHER WEEK." 20 00:00:53,149 --> 00:00:54,170 LOOK AT THEM. 21 00:00:54,189 --> 00:00:55,189 THEY'VE GOT NO CLUE. 22 00:00:55,210 --> 00:01:00,109 HOT IDIOTS. 23 00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:04,010 THIS WAS CLEARLY A VERY LONG, 24 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,090 VERY TENSE WEEK, ALTHOUGH 25 00:01:05,109 --> 00:01:06,180 THANKFULLY, IT ALL FELT WORTH IT 26 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,189 DUE TO HOW IT ENDED. 27 00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:08,170 >> CNN PROJECTS 28 00:01:08,189 --> 00:01:10,090 JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR. IS ELECTED 29 00:01:10,109 --> 00:01:12,039 THE 46TH PRESIDENT OF THE 30 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,140 UNITED STATES, WINNING 31 00:01:13,159 --> 00:01:15,069 THE WHITE HOUSE AND DENYING 32 00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:17,060 PRESIDENT TRUMP A SECOND TERM. 33 00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:19,039 >> John: YEAH! 34 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,289 THAT DEFINITELY HAPPENED. 35 00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,019 TRUMP ISN'T GOING TO BE 36 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,280 PRESIDENT ANYMORE -- SOMETHING I 37 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,049 PERSONALLY LEARNED FROM NO LESS 38 00:01:26,069 --> 00:01:27,090 THAN 20 TEXT MESSAGES FROM MY 39 00:01:27,109 --> 00:01:29,189 FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALL SAYING 40 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,159 "IT'S OVER!" 41 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,090 WHICH, IN THIS SITUATION, WAS 42 00:01:31,109 --> 00:01:32,289 WELCOME, BUT ON ANY REGULAR DAY 43 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,030 WOULD TERRIFY THE LIVING SHIT 44 00:01:34,049 --> 00:01:38,000 OUT OF ME. 45 00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:39,030 AS WE ARE TAPING THIS ON 46 00:01:39,049 --> 00:01:40,200 SATURDAY, PEOPLE ACROSS AMERICA 47 00:01:40,219 --> 00:01:41,280 ARE STILL TAKING TO THE STREETS 48 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,140 TO CELEBRATE NOT JUST THAT BIDEN 49 00:01:43,159 --> 00:01:44,189 AND HARRIS WERE ELECTED, BUT YOU 50 00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:46,079 SENSED, MAINLY, THAT A CERTAIN 51 00:01:46,099 --> 00:01:47,250 SOMEONE WAS ABOUT TO GET EVICTED 52 00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:50,129 FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 53 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:52,120 ♪ ♪ 54 00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:55,240 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 55 00:01:55,259 --> 00:01:56,229 ♪ CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, 56 00:01:56,250 --> 00:02:00,120 COME ON ♪ 57 00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:03,120 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 58 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,219 ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 59 00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:06,219 ♪ GOOD-BYE ♪ 60 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:07,230 >> FUCK DONALD TRUMP! 61 00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:10,250 [HORN HONKING] 62 00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:12,159 >> John: YOU KNOW WHAT? 63 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,090 THAT PERSON SCREAMING 64 00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:18,069 "FUCK DONALD TRUMP" FROM THE 65 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,050 BACK OF A MOVING SCOOTER 66 00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:19,270 ACTUALLY SUMS UP PRETTY 67 00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:20,229 NICELY HOW A LOT OF PEOPLE FEEL 68 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,099 RIGHT NOW. 69 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,159 AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, IT WAS 70 00:02:24,180 --> 00:02:25,159 LIKE THAT ALL DAY HERE IN 71 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:25,240 NEW YORK. 72 00:02:25,259 --> 00:02:26,120 THERE WAS A MOOD HERE THAT 73 00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:27,020 CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A 74 00:02:27,039 --> 00:02:27,270 "REVERSE 9/11." 75 00:02:27,289 --> 00:02:28,129 WHY? 76 00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:29,240 BECAUSE IT COMBINED COMPLETE 77 00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:31,050 EUPHORIA, AN ABIDING DISGUST FOR 78 00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,039 RUDY GIULIANI, AND THIS TIME, 79 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,090 PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY DANCING ON 80 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:36,039 ROOFTOPS IN NEW JERSEY. 81 00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:37,120 IT WAS A REALLY GOOD DAY. 82 00:02:37,139 --> 00:02:39,270 NEVER FORGET. 83 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,270 IT IS GENUINELY HARD TO 84 00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:42,110 OVERSTATE THE LEVEL OF RELIEF 85 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,189 THAT HAS BEEN FLYING AROUND 86 00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:45,060 PARTS OF THIS COUNTRY, 87 00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:46,189 ESPECIALLY AT THE END OF A TRULY 88 00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:49,009 DRAINING WEEK. 89 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,139 AND TONIGHT WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT 90 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:52,229 BE WORTH MAPPING EXACTLY HOW WE 91 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,060 GOT TO THIS POINT OVER THE LAST 92 00:02:54,079 --> 00:02:56,129 SEVEN DAYS, BECAUSE AT THE START 93 00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:57,289 OF THIS WEEK, WE ALL KNEW THAT, 94 00:02:58,009 --> 00:02:58,150 DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, THIS 95 00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,099 ELECTION WAS GOING TO BE 96 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,129 DIFFERENT. 97 00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:01,129 CRUCIALLY, THAT IT WAS GOING TO 98 00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,030 REQUIRE MORE PATIENCE THAN 99 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:03,189 USUAL. 100 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:05,050 YET FOR SOME REASON, AS SOON AS 101 00:03:05,069 --> 00:03:06,229 TUESDAY CAME AROUND, EVERYONE 102 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,020 SEEMED TO IMMEDIATELY FORGET 103 00:03:08,039 --> 00:03:09,169 THAT, BECAUSE STARTING THAT 104 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,189 EVENING, ALMOST EVERY NEWS 105 00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:11,289 CHANNEL WAS OVERTAKEN BY SOME 106 00:03:12,009 --> 00:03:13,250 VERSION OF A GUY PLAYING WITH A 107 00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:16,039 BIG SCREEN WHILE SOMEONE COMES 108 00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:16,229 IN TO INTERRUPT AND PESTER THEM 109 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,030 WITH QUESTIONS. 110 00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:19,199 IT WAS BASICALLY THE EQUIVALENT 111 00:03:19,219 --> 00:03:20,229 OF WATCHING THE SECURITY FOOTAGE 112 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,099 AT A BEST BUY FOR FOUR STRAIGHT 113 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,060 DAYS. 114 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,030 AND WHILE NEWS OUTLETS TRIED 115 00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:27,259 THEIR BEST TO BE PATIENT, AS 116 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,180 THINGS DRAGGED ON, IT WAS CLEAR 117 00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:31,060 THEY JUST COULDN'T DO IT -- 118 00:03:31,079 --> 00:03:33,039 SOMETHING PERHAPS BEST SUMMED UP 119 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,009 BY THIS EXCHANGE BETWEEN 120 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:36,159 DON LEMON AND A PHILADELPHIA 121 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:36,280 CITY COMMISSIONER. 122 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:37,270 >> SO HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'S 123 00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,030 GOING TO TAKE TO COUNT ALL THE 124 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:39,259 VOTES, COMMISSIONER? 125 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,120 >> YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING 126 00:03:41,139 --> 00:03:43,030 HEARING REPORTERS TALK ABOUT, 127 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,189 "LISTEN, EVERYBODY, THIS IS 128 00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:46,159 GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME," AND 129 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,189 THEN THE POLLS CLOSE AND THEN 130 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:49,030 IT'S, "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE 131 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,180 RESULTS YET?" 132 00:03:50,199 --> 00:03:52,139 SO EVERYONE NEEDS TO RECALIBRATE 133 00:03:52,159 --> 00:03:54,099 THEIR EXPECTATIONS. 134 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:59,180 >> I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK. 135 00:03:59,199 --> 00:03:59,259 [LAUGHTER] 136 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,000 >> IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 137 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,099 >> SO LET ME ASK YOU THIS THEN, 138 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,030 SPEAKING OF -- THAT WAS A GOOD 139 00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:05,009 ANSWER. 140 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:06,080 BUT ARE YOU TALKING HOURS, ARE 141 00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:08,229 YOU TALKING DAYS? 142 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,000 >> John: HE DOESN'T FUCKING 143 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:11,189 KNOW, LEMON! 144 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,240 LEAVE THE MAN ALONE! 145 00:04:12,259 --> 00:04:13,289 AT THAT POINT, IT WOULD HAVE 146 00:04:14,009 --> 00:04:14,280 BEEN JUST AS PRODUCTIVE TO ASK 147 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,089 HIM, "WHEN WILL PENGUINS LEARN 148 00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:17,100 HOW TO FLY?" 149 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,220 OR "WHEN IS MICHAEL KEATON GOING 150 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,269 TO WIN AN OSCAR?" 151 00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,160 OR, "WHAT DOES THE REST OF THE 152 00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:22,220 PRINGLES GUY'S BODY LOOK LIKE? 153 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,199 IS HE TALL OR SHORT? 154 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:24,120 DOES HE HAVE A LOT OF BODY HAIR 155 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,230 OR IS HE COMPLETELY SMOOTH? 156 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:26,220 WHEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO TELL ME 157 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,009 WHAT HIS NIPPLES LOOK LIKE? 158 00:04:28,029 --> 00:04:28,290 ARE YOU TALKING HOURS, OR ARE 159 00:04:29,009 --> 00:04:30,199 YOU TALKING DAYS?" 160 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,029 WHAT WAS ALSO ENTIRELY 161 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:34,220 PREDICTABLE WAS HOW TRUMP WAS 162 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,110 GOING TO REACT AS THE COUNT 163 00:04:36,129 --> 00:04:37,209 SLOWLY UNFOLDED, BECAUSE LONG 164 00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:39,180 BEFORE RESULTS WERE IN, HE TOOK 165 00:04:39,199 --> 00:04:41,040 ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT HE 166 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:42,139 WAS AHEAD IN SOME STATES TO 167 00:04:42,159 --> 00:04:44,139 DECLARE A PREMATURE, COMPLETELY 168 00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,159 UNFOUNDED VICTORY. 169 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:48,170 AT 2:30 A.M. ON WEDNESDAY, HE 170 00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:49,159 DELIVERED THIS NIGHTMARISH 171 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,149 SPEECH FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 172 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:52,199 >> THIS IS A FRAUD ON THE 173 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:55,090 AMERICAN PUBLIC. 174 00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,029 THIS IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO OUR 175 00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:59,110 COUNTRY. 176 00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:01,050 WE WERE GETTING READY TO WIN 177 00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:02,279 THIS ELECTION. 178 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,110 FRANKLY, WE DID WIN THIS 179 00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:07,269 ELECTION. 180 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,290 SO WE'LL BE GOING TO THE U.S. 181 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,199 SUPREME COURT. 182 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:15,040 WE WANT ALL VOTING TO STOP. 183 00:05:15,060 --> 00:05:17,250 WE DON'T WANT THEM TO FIND ANY 184 00:05:17,269 --> 00:05:19,230 BALLOTS AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING 185 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:20,189 AND ADD THEM TO THE LIST. 186 00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:24,209 OKAY? 187 00:05:24,230 --> 00:05:27,060 >> John: UH, NO. 188 00:05:27,079 --> 00:05:30,160 IT'S NOT OKAY. 189 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,110 IT'S NOT OKAY AT ALL. 190 00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:32,100 FOR A START, YOU CAN'T 191 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:32,259 JUST THREATEN TO GO TO THE 192 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:33,240 SUPREME COURT WHEN THINGS AREN'T 193 00:05:33,259 --> 00:05:34,060 GOING YOUR WAY. 194 00:05:34,079 --> 00:05:34,240 IT'S THE HIGHEST COURT IN THE 195 00:05:34,259 --> 00:05:35,120 LAND, NOT THE MIDDLE SCHOOL 196 00:05:35,139 --> 00:05:35,259 PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. 197 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,240 AND SECOND, THEY WEREN'T 198 00:05:36,259 --> 00:05:37,149 "FINDING" BALLOTS, THEY WERE 199 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,269 COUNTING THEM. 200 00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:40,019 AND COUNTING AND FINDING ARE NOT 201 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:40,279 THE SAME THING. 202 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,279 THAT'S WHY THE MOVIE 203 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,100 "FINDING NEMO" WASN'T CALLED 204 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,149 "COUNTING NEMO." 205 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,090 'CAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A 206 00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:48,120 VERY DIFFERENT AND MUCH SHORTER 207 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,019 MOVIE. 208 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,009 ONE NEMO. 209 00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:50,290 THE END. 210 00:05:51,009 --> 00:05:52,100 UNFORTUNATELY, THAT PRESS 211 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,230 CONFERENCE SET THE TONE FOR THE 212 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,269 REST OF THE WEEK, WITH THE 213 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,100 SOON-TO-BE-FORMER PRESIDENT AND 214 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,050 HIS CAMP DOING ABSOLUTELY 215 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:00,189 EVERYTHING THEY COULD 216 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:01,079 THINK OF TO SUBVERT THIS 217 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,019 ELECTION. 218 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,050 ON WEDNESDAY, AFTER THE COUNT IN 219 00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:04,110 MICHIGAN BEGAN TO FAVOR BIDEN, 220 00:06:04,129 --> 00:06:05,279 TRUMP TWEETED OUT "WE HEREBY 221 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,100 CLAIM THE STATE OF MICHIGAN." 222 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,060 WHICH IS CLEARLY NOT HOW IT 223 00:06:08,079 --> 00:06:10,120 WORKS. 224 00:06:10,139 --> 00:06:11,250 CALLING DIBS ON STATES IS NOT 225 00:06:11,269 --> 00:06:13,240 HOW WE ELECT PRESIDENTS. 226 00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:16,199 WE USE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE, 227 00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:18,279 WHICH IS AT LEAST 3% LESS STUPID 228 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,060 THAN THAT. 229 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,019 THE VERY SAME DAY, THE 230 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,040 PRESIDENT'S PERSONAL LAWYER AND 231 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:24,220 RECENT STAR OF THE "BORAT" 232 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,009 MOVIE, RUDY GIULIANI, ARRIVED IN 233 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,160 PENNSYLVANIA TO TRY AND STOP 234 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,149 THEM FROM COUNTING THE VOTES 235 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,199 THAT WERE STILL REMAINING -- 236 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:32,069 WHICH STOOD AT NEARLY A MILLION 237 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,189 THAT MORNING, MOST FROM HEAVILY 238 00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:35,100 DEMOCRATIC AREAS -- AND DID SO 239 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,050 WITH THIS IMPASSIONED SPEECH. 240 00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:38,009 >> HOW MANY VOTES DO WE HAVE TO 241 00:06:38,029 --> 00:06:40,139 BE AHEAD? 242 00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:43,129 400,000 IS NOT ENOUGH? 243 00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:45,069 WITH 80 PLUS PERCENT COUNTED? 244 00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:46,139 I THINK THERE'S ONLY 14% OF THE 245 00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:48,269 VOTE TO GO. 246 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:51,149 DO YOU THINK WE'RE STUPID? 247 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:52,290 YOU THINK WE'RE FOOLS? 248 00:06:53,009 --> 00:06:53,269 >> John: YEAH. 249 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,230 YEAH, WE DO. 250 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:57,290 YEAH. 251 00:06:58,009 --> 00:06:59,139 AND, UH, ACTUALLY, THIS IS A BIT 252 00:06:59,159 --> 00:07:00,019 AWKWARD, BECAUSE WE HAD SPACE 253 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,290 FOR A JOKE HERE, BUT THAT TOOK 254 00:07:01,009 --> 00:07:01,250 NO TIME AT ALL. 255 00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:02,290 SO TELL YOU WHAT: INSTEAD, LET'S 256 00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:03,209 LOOK AT THIS RACCOON-SHAPED 257 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,100 COOKIE JAR WITH A RACCOON IN IT. 258 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,290 DID YOU EAT ALL THE COOKIES? 259 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:06,120 I BET YOU DID. 260 00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:07,259 THOSE COOKIES HAVE GONE FROM 261 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,029 BEING INSIDE ONE RACCOON TO 262 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:13,220 BEING INSIDE ANOTHER. 263 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,040 WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT. 264 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,029 ANYWAY, GIULIANI'S PRESS 265 00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:16,250 CONFERENCE WAS TRULY UNHINGED, 266 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,050 WITH HIM THROWING AROUND WILD 267 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:19,019 ACCUSATIONS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO 268 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,100 EVIDENCE. 269 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,290 AND PERHAPS THE BEST RESPONSE TO 270 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:22,290 IT CAME FROM JOHN FETTERMAN, 271 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,019 PENNSYLVANIA'S LIEUTENANT 272 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,050 GOVERNOR: 273 00:07:26,069 --> 00:07:29,189 >> TO COME IN AND STAND ON -- ON 274 00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:30,170 A STREET CORNER IN PHILADELPHIA 275 00:07:30,189 --> 00:07:34,189 TO SAY, "WE WON PENNSYLVANIA," 276 00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:35,259 IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, LOL. 277 00:07:35,279 --> 00:07:36,180 I MEAN, LIKE, IT IS JUST 278 00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:42,009 BIZARRE. 279 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,069 IT IS LIKE A BAD, BAD 280 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:43,230 "HOUSE OF CARDS" EPISODE. 281 00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:44,120 >> John: YEAH, HE'S RIGHT. 282 00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:45,040 LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR STONE COLD 283 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:45,269 IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 284 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,250 BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE 285 00:07:46,269 --> 00:07:48,120 "HOUSE OF CARDS" IN THAT IT'S 286 00:07:48,139 --> 00:07:50,100 FULL OF POLITICAL INTRIGUE, 287 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,269 THERE'S A SEXUAL PREDATOR 288 00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:53,060 PRETENDING TO BE PRESIDENT AT 289 00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:54,209 THE VERY HEART OF IT, AND IT'S 290 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,259 GONE ON FOR AT LEAST FOUR 291 00:07:55,279 --> 00:07:57,139 SEASONS TOO LONG. 292 00:07:57,159 --> 00:07:58,209 AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, THE 293 00:07:58,230 --> 00:07:59,189 TRUMP CAMP'S PROTESTS WERE 294 00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,259 CONSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT IN 295 00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:02,019 THEIR MESSAGING, PRIMARILY 296 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,069 BECAUSE, EARLY ON, IN SOME 297 00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:05,259 STATES, TRUMP LOOKED LIKE HE WAS 298 00:08:05,279 --> 00:08:06,290 AHEAD, WHILE IN OTHERS, HE 299 00:08:07,009 --> 00:08:08,199 LOOKED LIKE HE WAS BEHIND, WHICH 300 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,139 MEANT THAT IN MICHIGAN, WHERE HE 301 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,029 LED EARLY ON, HIS SUPPORTERS 302 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:13,230 SHOWED UP AT A DETROIT 303 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:14,149 BALLOT-COUNTING SITE TO CHANT 304 00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,180 THIS: 305 00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:16,259 >> STOP THE COUNT! 306 00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:18,089 STOP THE COUNT! 307 00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:26,189 STOP THE COUNT! 308 00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:27,079 >> John: "STOP THE COUNT." 309 00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,000 RIGHT. 310 00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:28,170 BUT IN ARIZONA, WHERE TRUMP 311 00:08:28,189 --> 00:08:29,089 SEEMED TO BE BEHIND, HIS 312 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:29,250 SUPPORTERS CHANTED THIS: 313 00:08:29,269 --> 00:08:30,209 >> COUNT THE VOTES! 314 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:31,019 COUNT THE VOTES! 315 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,269 COUNT THE VOTES! 316 00:08:32,289 --> 00:08:35,000 >> John: NOW, SETTING ASIDE THE 317 00:08:35,019 --> 00:08:36,019 ABSURDITY OF TWO GROUPS ON THE 318 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,070 SAME SIDE SHOUTING COMPLETELY 319 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,100 OPPOSITE INSTRUCTIONS, IT IS 320 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,230 WORTH TAKING A MINUTE ON 321 00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,240 JUST HOW WEIRD IT IS THAT ONE OF 322 00:08:42,259 --> 00:08:43,080 THOSE INSTRUCTIONS IS 323 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:46,289 "COUNT THE VOTES." 324 00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:48,179 BECAUSE THEY WERE. 325 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,210 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE 326 00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,090 BALLOT COUNTERS WERE DOING. 327 00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,190 IT'D BE LIKE A DAD CHANTING AT 328 00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,250 HIS TEENAGE SON'S BEDROOM DOOR, 329 00:08:52,269 --> 00:08:54,019 "BEAT THAT MEAT! 330 00:08:54,039 --> 00:08:55,129 BEAT THAT MEAT!" 331 00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:56,250 HE IS! 332 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,120 HE'S DOING IT! 333 00:08:58,139 --> 00:09:00,000 YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO CHEER 334 00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:00,070 HIM ON. 335 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:00,250 IN FACT, ALL YOU'RE DOING IS 336 00:09:00,269 --> 00:09:01,210 MAKING IT WAY HARDER FOR HIM TO 337 00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,220 FINISH. 338 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,070 AND UNFORTUNATELY, THE 339 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,179 INFORMATION VACUUM THAT FORMED 340 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,200 IN THOSE THREE DAYS PROVIDED 341 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:08,279 AMPLE SPACE FOR TRUMP AND HIS 342 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,179 SUPPORTERS TO JUST THROW 343 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,259 COMPLETE BULLSHIT AROUND. 344 00:09:12,279 --> 00:09:14,169 AT ONE POINT, TRUMP'S TWITTER 345 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,279 TIMELINE LOOKED LIKE THIS, WITH 346 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,200 A WHOLE RUN OF TWEETS FLAGGED AS 347 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,230 "DISPUTED OR MISLEADING." 348 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,059 MEANWHILE, GIULIANI WAS TWEETING 349 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,120 OUT THIS ARTICLE AND IMPLYING 350 00:09:23,139 --> 00:09:24,139 21,000 DEAD PEOPLE HAD VOTED IN 351 00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:25,200 PENNSYLVANIA -- WHICH THEY 352 00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:29,090 HADN'T. 353 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,169 ALSO RUMORS WERE FLYING AROUND 354 00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,220 THAT TRUMP BALLOTS WERE BEING 355 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,110 DISQUALIFIED IN ARIZONA BECAUSE 356 00:09:32,129 --> 00:09:35,080 SHARPIES HAD BEEN USED TO FILL 357 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,059 THEM OUT, WHICH WAS FALSE. 358 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,059 AND ERIC TRUMP TWEETED OUT A 359 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,240 FAKE VIDEO OF BALLOTS IN 360 00:09:39,259 --> 00:09:41,029 VIRGINIA BEACH BEING BURNED -- 361 00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,019 A VIDEO THAT THE CITY ITSELF HAD 362 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,090 DEBUNKED A DAY BEFORE HE TWEETED 363 00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:45,110 IT. 364 00:09:45,129 --> 00:09:46,120 AND THAT IS REALLY A SHAME, 365 00:09:46,139 --> 00:09:47,240 BECAUSE NORMALLY THE TRUMP SONS 366 00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:48,210 ARE SO GOOD AT GETTING TO THE 367 00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:50,149 TRUTH -- YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN 368 00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:52,059 THEY SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF 369 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,220 "CAN A BEARD ACTUALLY MAKE 370 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,240 SOMEONE LOOK MORE LIKE A CHILD?" 371 00:09:55,259 --> 00:09:57,000 THE ANSWER TURNED OUT TO BE A 372 00:09:57,019 --> 00:09:58,129 RESOUNDING YES. 373 00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:02,080 GOOD WORK, GUMSHOES. 374 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:04,149 BUT CONSPIRACY THEORIZING RAN SO 375 00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:05,269 RAMPANT THIS WEEK THAT, DURING A 376 00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,129 PRESS BRIEFING FROM A NEVADA 377 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,000 VOTING REGISTRAR, THIS HAPPENED: 378 00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:10,039 >> THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY IS 379 00:10:10,059 --> 00:10:11,129 STEALING THE ELECTION! 380 00:10:11,149 --> 00:10:12,259 THE MEDIA IS COVERING IT UP! 381 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,080 THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY IS 382 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,129 STEALING THIS ELECTION! 383 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,049 THE MEDIA IS COVERING IT UP! 384 00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:18,159 THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY IS 385 00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:19,200 STEALING THIS ELECTION! 386 00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:20,259 THE MEDIA IS COVERING IT UP! 387 00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:22,029 WE WANT OUR FREEDOM FOR THE 388 00:10:22,049 --> 00:10:23,019 WORLD! 389 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,269 GIVE US OUR FREEDOM, JOE BIDEN! 390 00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,190 JOE BIDEN IS COVERING UP THIS 391 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,179 ELECTION! 392 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:33,029 HE'S STEALING IT! 393 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,019 >> [SIGHS] 394 00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:34,230 WHERE WERE WE? 395 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,210 WHAT WAS THE LAST QUESTION? 396 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:38,269 >> John: OKAY, THERE IS SO MUCH 397 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,250 TO DEAL WITH THERE. 398 00:10:39,269 --> 00:10:41,080 THERE'S THE ARCTIC COOL 399 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:41,250 DISPLAYED BY THAT REGISTRAR 400 00:10:41,269 --> 00:10:42,129 WHILE HE WAS BEING INTERRUPTED 401 00:10:42,149 --> 00:10:44,009 BY A WALKING INTERNET COMMENT. 402 00:10:44,029 --> 00:10:45,070 THEN THERE WAS THAT MAN'S SHIRT, 403 00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:47,000 FEATURING WHAT I ASSUME WERE HIS 404 00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:48,029 THREE FAVORITE THINGS. 405 00:10:48,049 --> 00:10:48,240 WHICH I'M LEGITIMATELY JEALOUS 406 00:10:48,259 --> 00:10:49,190 OF, BECAUSE NOW I WANT A TANK 407 00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:52,049 TOP WITH MY THREE FAVORITE 408 00:10:52,070 --> 00:10:54,059 THINGS ON IT -- SPECIFICALLY, 409 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:54,240 OVERSIGHT, FOIA REQUESTS, AND 410 00:10:54,259 --> 00:10:58,250 HAMSTERS IN SPEEDOS. 411 00:10:58,269 --> 00:11:00,210 NOW THAT IS A SHIRT. 412 00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:03,210 BUT I THINK MY FAVORITE THING IS 413 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,029 JUST HOW PAINFULLY CLEAR IT IS 414 00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:06,169 THAT THAT GUY WAS EXPECTING TO 415 00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:07,049 GET DRAGGED AWAY AND WAS THEN 416 00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:07,240 COMPLETELY STUCK WHEN IT DIDN'T 417 00:11:07,259 --> 00:11:08,279 HAPPEN. 418 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:09,289 "THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY IS 419 00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:14,049 STEALING OUR FREEDOM! 420 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,149 THE BIDEN CRIME FAMILY IS -- 421 00:11:15,169 --> 00:11:15,259 REALLY? 422 00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:16,179 GUYS? 423 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,029 NOTHING? 424 00:11:17,049 --> 00:11:17,250 NO ONE'S GONNA ESCORT ME OUTTA 425 00:11:17,269 --> 00:11:18,159 HERE? 426 00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:19,169 'CAUSE HONESTLY, I WAS REALLY 427 00:11:19,190 --> 00:11:20,059 COUNTING ON SOMEONE TOSSING ME 428 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:20,230 IN A CAR AND TAKING ME AWAY. 429 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:21,230 I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE A RIDE 430 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,250 HOME OTHERWISE. 431 00:11:23,269 --> 00:11:25,190 ALL RIGHT, I GUESS I'LL WALK. 432 00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:27,269 HAVE A GOOD DAY, EVERYONE. 433 00:11:27,289 --> 00:11:28,169 PIZZAGATE WAS A 9/11 OR 434 00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:30,269 WHATEVER." 435 00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:36,110 AND IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF THIS, 436 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,149 THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN WAS LOUDLY 437 00:11:37,169 --> 00:11:38,139 ANNOUNCING THAT IT WAS FILING 438 00:11:38,159 --> 00:11:39,019 MULTIPLE LAWSUITS IN MULTIPLE 439 00:11:39,039 --> 00:11:40,000 STATES, TRYING TO CAST A CLOUD 440 00:11:40,019 --> 00:11:43,240 OVER THE WHOLE PROCESS. 441 00:11:43,259 --> 00:11:44,139 BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW JUST 442 00:11:44,159 --> 00:11:45,279 HOW RIDICULOUS THOSE LAWSUITS 443 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,110 WERE AND STILL ARE. 444 00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:47,250 ONE CASE IN GEORGIA CENTERED ON 445 00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:48,120 A POLL WATCHER WHO "LEFT THE 446 00:11:48,139 --> 00:11:49,029 ROOM" AND THOUGHT THAT A STACK 447 00:11:49,049 --> 00:11:50,059 OF 53 BALLOTS THAT MAY OR MAY 448 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,100 NOT HAVE ARRIVED LATE MIGHT OR 449 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,169 MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN COUNTED 450 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,159 WHILE THEY WERE AWAY. 451 00:11:55,179 --> 00:11:57,009 ALTHOUGH THE POLL WATCHER 452 00:11:57,029 --> 00:11:58,139 COULDN'T SAY FOR SURE BECAUSE, 453 00:11:58,159 --> 00:11:59,190 AGAIN, HE HAD LEFT THE ROOM. 454 00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:01,009 THAT PARTICULAR CASE WAS 455 00:12:01,029 --> 00:12:02,110 DISMISSED BY A JUDGE BECAUSE, 456 00:12:02,129 --> 00:12:04,070 AND I QUOTE, "THE COURT FINDS 457 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,210 THAT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE." 458 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:06,230 MEANWHILE, IN MICHIGAN, 459 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,070 THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN REQUESTED 460 00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:09,190 THAT ABSENTEE BALLOTS STOP 461 00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:11,000 BEING COUNTED AFTER -- AND THIS 462 00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:12,190 IS KEY -- THE COUNTING HAD 463 00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,200 ESSENTIALLY BEEN FINISHED IN THE 464 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,019 STATE. 465 00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:16,210 THAT SUIT RELIED ON ONE 466 00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:18,190 POLL WATCHER HAVING HEARD A 467 00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:19,059 RUMOR FROM SOMEONE ELSE THAT 468 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,039 SOME LATE BALLOTS WERE BEING 469 00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:22,029 COUNTED. 470 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,159 AND WHEN THE JUDGE POINTED OUT 471 00:12:24,179 --> 00:12:25,120 THAT THAT WAS TOTAL HEARSAY, THE 472 00:12:25,139 --> 00:12:27,179 TRUMP CAMPAIGN'S LAWYER TRIED TO 473 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,070 WRIGGLE OUT OF IT BEFORE BEING 474 00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:29,250 SLAPPED DOWN HARD. 475 00:12:29,269 --> 00:12:34,039 >> THIS IS A FIRST-HAND, FACTUAL 476 00:12:34,059 --> 00:12:37,070 STATEMENT MADE BY MISS CONERAN, 477 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,000 AND SHE HAS MADE THAT STATEMENT 478 00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,250 BASED ON HER OWN FIRST-HAND 479 00:12:41,269 --> 00:12:42,220 PHYSICAL EVIDENCE AND KNOWLEDGE, 480 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,190 WHICH -- 481 00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:44,200 >> "I HEARD SOMEBODY ELSE SAY 482 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,159 SOMETHING." 483 00:12:45,179 --> 00:12:46,159 TELL ME WHY THAT'S NOT HEARSAY? 484 00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:47,080 COME ON NOW. 485 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,039 >> John: YEAH. 486 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:51,210 "COME ON NOW." 487 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,129 AND, LOOK, I'M NO LEGAL EXPERT, 488 00:12:53,149 --> 00:12:55,009 BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S NOT A 489 00:12:55,029 --> 00:12:56,080 GREAT SIGN FOR YOUR CASE WHEN A 490 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,139 JUDGE GIVES YOU THE JUDICIAL 491 00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:58,139 EQUIVALENT OF "FUCK OUTTA HERE." 492 00:12:58,159 --> 00:12:59,149 NOW, ONE BIG TRUMP COMPLAINT 493 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,230 THAT HE'S MAKING A LOT RIGHT 494 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:01,250 NOW, SO YOU'LL PROBABLY BE 495 00:13:01,269 --> 00:13:04,080 HEARING IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR 496 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:04,289 LIFE, IS THAT THE ELECTION IS 497 00:13:05,009 --> 00:13:06,059 ILLEGITIMATE BECAUSE REPUBLICAN 498 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,259 POLL WATCHERS WEREN'T GIVEN 499 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:09,000 ACCESS TO THE BALLOT-COUNTING IN 500 00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:11,070 PENNSYLVANIA. 501 00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,110 HE ACTUALLY TWEETED ON SATURDAY, 502 00:13:12,129 --> 00:13:13,220 "BAD THINGS HAPPENED WHICH OUR 503 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,159 OBSERVERS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO 504 00:13:14,179 --> 00:13:15,289 SEE." 505 00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:17,070 WHICH IS A TOUGH CHARGE TO MAKE 506 00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:19,059 STICK, BECAUSE -- BY THE NATURE 507 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,250 OF THE ACCUSATION -- YOU DIDN'T 508 00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:23,059 SEE THEM. 509 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,169 BUT THE CLAIM WAS ACTUALLY EVEN 510 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,200 MORE MERITLESS THAN IT APPEARS, 511 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,100 WHICH, OF ALL NETWORKS, FOX NEWS 512 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,269 POINTED OUT. 513 00:13:28,289 --> 00:13:30,279 >> THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN HAS SAID 514 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,230 THAT THEY WANTED TO HAVE THEIR 515 00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:36,100 POLL WATCHERS THERE, AND I GUESS 516 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,200 THEY WERE SAYING THEY WERE ASKED 517 00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,289 TO PROVIDE EVIDENCE FOR 518 00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:40,049 SOMETHING THAT THEY SAY THEY 519 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,019 WEREN'T EVEN ABLE TO PARTICIPATE 520 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,029 IN OR TO BE ABLE TO SEE, AND SO 521 00:13:44,049 --> 00:13:45,220 THAT'S, I THINK, WHERE THEY 522 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,029 WOULD SAY THAT NEEDS TO BE 523 00:13:47,049 --> 00:13:49,179 RECTIFIED, IF IT COULD BE. 524 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,240 >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. 525 00:13:50,259 --> 00:13:52,139 IT'S NOT TRUE. 526 00:13:52,159 --> 00:13:55,000 IT'S JUST NOT TRUE. 527 00:13:55,019 --> 00:13:55,230 THE CLAIM FROM THE TRUMP 528 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,210 CAMPAIGN AND THE PRESIDENT ABOUT 529 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,240 THAT IS NOT TRUE, IT IS FALSE. 530 00:13:59,259 --> 00:14:00,269 IN FACT, THE LAWYERS FOR THE 531 00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,289 TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAST NIGHT IN 532 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:08,009 FEDERAL COURT ADMITTED THAT. 533 00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:08,179 >> John: HE'S RIGHT. 534 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,090 THEY ADMITTED IT. 535 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:10,000 SPECIFICALLY, THE JUDGE ASKED, 536 00:14:10,019 --> 00:14:15,220 "ARE PEOPLE REPRESENTING 537 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,100 DONALD J. TRUMP IN THAT ROOM?" 538 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,039 TO WHICH THE CAMPAIGN LAWYER 539 00:14:17,059 --> 00:14:17,200 SAID "YES," AND THE JUDGE 540 00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:18,090 REPLIED, "I'M SORRY, THEN WHAT'S 541 00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:18,240 YOUR PROBLEM?" 542 00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:19,250 MAKING THIS OFFICIALLY THE 543 00:14:19,269 --> 00:14:21,169 SINGLE SASSIEST WEEK IN THE 544 00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,070 HISTORY OF THE JUDICIARY. 545 00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:24,159 THEY MUST HAVE TRADED IN THEIR 546 00:14:24,179 --> 00:14:25,110 GAVELS FOR UMBRELLAS, BECAUSE 547 00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,100 THESE JURISTS ARE THROWING SOME 548 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,039 SHADE. 549 00:14:29,059 --> 00:14:31,019 AND THE EMBARRASSING FLIMSINESS 550 00:14:31,039 --> 00:14:32,179 OF THESE FRAUD CLAIMS STARTS TO 551 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,120 MAKE SENSE WHEN YOU SEE JUST HOW 552 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,059 DESPERATELY THE TRUMP CAMP WAS 553 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,120 TRYING TO DRUM THEM UP. 554 00:14:36,139 --> 00:14:37,230 TAKE ARIZONA. 555 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,059 THEY ANNOUNCED AT A PRESS 556 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,240 CONFERENCE ON THURSDAY THAT THEY 557 00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:41,149 HAD GATHERED "CONCERNS BY 558 00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:42,210 THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE" ABOUT 559 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:44,029 VOTING IRREGULARITIES. 560 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,159 WHICH ON ITS FACE SOUNDS 561 00:14:45,179 --> 00:14:48,049 DRAMATIC. 562 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,250 BUT IT'S ALSO A LITTLE AT ODDS 563 00:14:49,269 --> 00:14:51,000 WITH THIS MOMENT, CAPTURED JUST 564 00:14:51,019 --> 00:14:52,190 MINUTES EARLIER: 565 00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:54,179 >> HI, EVERYONE. 566 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,019 IF ANYONE HAS ANY PERSONAL 567 00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:58,210 EXAMPLE WHERE THEY'VE WITNESSED 568 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,039 ELECTION FRAUD HERE IN ARIZONA, 569 00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:02,049 PLEASE COME SEE ME. 570 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,100 I NEED A CONCRETE EXAMPLE, I 571 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,200 NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. 572 00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,019 RIGHT OVER THERE IN THE CORNER, 573 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:11,070 THANK YOU 574 00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:11,240 >> John: OKAY, THAT IS JUST 575 00:15:11,259 --> 00:15:12,149 PATHETIC. 576 00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:13,100 ALTHOUGH I DO LIKE THE IDEA THAT 577 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,000 SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WITNESSED 578 00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:16,139 ELECTION FRAUD AND HAD PROOF 579 00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:17,100 WAITING UNTIL THAT GLORIFIED 580 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,009 BLOCK PARTY TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT 581 00:15:18,029 --> 00:15:28,240 IT. 582 00:15:28,259 --> 00:15:29,129 "YEAH, I SAW A GUY IN A SKI MASK 583 00:15:29,149 --> 00:15:30,220 PULLING FAKE BALLOTS OUT OF HIS 584 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,110 KIA FESTIVA, BUT IT DIDN'T OCCUR 585 00:15:31,129 --> 00:15:31,289 TO ME TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT 586 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:32,220 UNTIL A REPRESENTATIVE FROM THE 587 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,259 LAW FIRM HANGOVER, HANGOVER, 588 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,159 DIVORCE & MEAT SWEATS TOLD ME TO 589 00:15:34,179 --> 00:15:36,070 MEET HIM OVER THERE IN THE 590 00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:39,100 CORNER. 591 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,039 I'M SO GLAD I WAS WONDERING BY." 592 00:15:42,059 --> 00:15:43,129 BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL -- 593 00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:44,169 THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN ALSO SET UP 594 00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:45,049 THIS WEBSITE AND PHONE NUMBER 595 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:45,220 WHERE THEY INVITED PEOPLE TO 596 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,120 SUBMIT EVIDENCE OF VOTER FRAUD, 597 00:15:46,139 --> 00:15:47,169 MEANING IF YOU, SAY, WANTED TO 598 00:15:47,190 --> 00:15:48,120 SUPPLY THEM WITH AN INCIDENT YOU 599 00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:49,039 FOUND SUSPICIOUS, YOU COULD DO 600 00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:50,019 THAT. 601 00:15:50,039 --> 00:15:51,190 YOU STILL CAN. 602 00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,269 YOU CAN SIMPLY GO TO THIS 603 00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:57,120 ADDRESS AND SEND THEM WHATEVER 604 00:15:57,139 --> 00:16:00,230 EVIDENCE YOU WANT. 605 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,289 THERE'S EVEN AN OPTION TO ADD 606 00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:03,009 PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF. 607 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:03,269 QUICK FUN FACT, I DON'T KNOW WHY 608 00:16:03,289 --> 00:16:04,139 I'M EVEN MENTIONING THIS: A 609 00:16:04,159 --> 00:16:05,000 POLITICAL TERM OF ART FOR 610 00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:05,149 ELECTION SHENANIGANS IS 611 00:16:05,169 --> 00:16:06,159 RATFUCKING. 612 00:16:06,179 --> 00:16:09,230 SO IF YOU, SAY, HAPPEN TO HAVE 613 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:12,000 ANY ACCESS TO IMAGES OF 614 00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:15,100 PENNSYLVANIA-BASED RATFUCKING, 615 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,210 IT'S FRANKLY YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY 616 00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:19,029 TO SEND THEM TO THE 617 00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:19,250 TRUMP CAMPAIGN STRAIGHT AWAY. 618 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,159 AND ALL THESE POINTLESS LAWSUITS 619 00:16:21,179 --> 00:16:23,000 ARE CLEARLY GOING TO COST A LOT 620 00:16:23,019 --> 00:16:24,200 OF MONEY, WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY 621 00:16:24,220 --> 00:16:25,200 THE CAMPAIGN HAS SPENT THE LAST 622 00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:26,149 FEW DAYS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO 623 00:16:26,169 --> 00:16:28,039 FUNDRAISE FOR THEM, EMAILING 624 00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:29,259 SUPPORTERS IN AN INCREASINGLY 625 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,230 AGGRESSIVE MANNER, WITH ONE 626 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,159 MESSAGE READING, "THIS IS YOUR 627 00:16:32,179 --> 00:16:34,009 FINAL NOTICE. 628 00:16:34,029 --> 00:16:35,190 SO FAR, YOU'VE IGNORED ALL OUR 629 00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:37,049 EMAILS ASKING YOU TO JOIN US IN 630 00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:40,029 DEFENDING THE ELECTION. 631 00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:41,100 YOU'VE IGNORED TEAM TRUMP, ERIC, 632 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,230 LARA, DON, THE VICE PRESIDENT, 633 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,059 AND YOU'VE EVEN IGNORED THE 634 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,179 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES." 635 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,259 AND FINAL NOTICE FOR WHAT? 636 00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:53,029 TO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY? 637 00:16:53,049 --> 00:16:54,210 MAYBE IT'S THE LAST CHANCE 638 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,289 TO GO TO THE OFFICIAL 639 00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:57,210 DONALD J. TRUMP SITE AND BUY 640 00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:59,090 THIS DOG LEASH FEATURING A DOG 641 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:04,000 WHO I CAN ONLY ASSUME WAS 642 00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:06,230 LOBOTOMIZED AND GIVEN RABIES 643 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,109 IMMEDIATELY BEFORE HAVING THIS 644 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:07,220 PICTURE TAKEN. 645 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,180 ALSO, QUICK SIDE NOTE ABOUT 646 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,109 THOSE SOLICITATIONS: 647 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,029 IN THE FINE PRINT, IT MENTIONS 648 00:17:10,049 --> 00:17:11,140 THAT, RATHER THAN FUNDING 649 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,180 LAWSUITS, HALF OF ANY 650 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,069 CONTRIBUTION WILL BE USED TO 651 00:17:14,089 --> 00:17:16,279 RETIRE DEBT FROM TRUMP'S 652 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,180 RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN, WHICH IS 653 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,259 COMPLETELY UNSURPRISING, AND NOT 654 00:17:20,279 --> 00:17:21,289 EVEN THE WORST THING HE'S EVER 655 00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:23,190 ASKED HIS SUPPORTERS TO DO, 656 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,230 BECAUSE THAT WOULD OBVIOUSLY BE 657 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:26,200 WHEN HE MADE THEM WATCH HIM DO 658 00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:28,059 THIS DANCE, WHICH LOOKS LIKE 659 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:34,019 HE'S MILKING TWO COWS AT ONCE 660 00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:36,289 AND ENJOYING IT SEXUALLY 661 00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,009 VERY MUCH INDEED. 662 00:17:38,029 --> 00:17:39,079 BUT PERHAPS THE SINGLE MOST 663 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:40,119 PATHETIC PART OF THIS ENTIRE 664 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:40,289 WEEK WAS THAT IN THE MOMENTS 665 00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:42,009 BEFORE THIS RACE WAS CALLED ON 666 00:17:42,029 --> 00:17:42,200 SATURDAY MORNING, TRUMP TWEETED 667 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:43,059 OUT "I WON THIS ELECTION, 668 00:17:43,079 --> 00:17:43,250 BY A LOT!" -- ALL CAPS, 669 00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:46,019 EXCLAMATION MARK. 670 00:17:46,039 --> 00:17:47,099 AND IF THAT WASN'T A BAD ENOUGH 671 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,099 CASE OF DENIAL, THIS IS HOW SOME 672 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,230 OF HIS SUPPORTERS RESPONDED TO 673 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:55,079 NEWS OF HIS DEFEAT. 674 00:17:55,099 --> 00:17:56,150 >> ♪ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ♪ 675 00:17:56,170 --> 00:18:00,009 ♪ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS♪ 676 00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:02,079 ♪ NO TIME FOR LOSERS ♪ 677 00:18:02,099 --> 00:18:06,289 ♪ 'CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ♪ 678 00:18:07,009 --> 00:18:15,210 ♪ OF THE WORLD ♪ 679 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,049 >> John: LOOK, I WOULD LOVE TO 680 00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:17,210 MAKE FUN OF THAT, BUT 681 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,180 UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE 682 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,079 NO TIME FOR LOSERS. 683 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,220 BUT HERE'S THE REALLY IMPORTANT 684 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,289 THING: AFTER THIS ABSOLUTE YEAR 685 00:18:23,009 --> 00:18:24,190 OF A WEEK -- THE DAYS OF 686 00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,109 COUNTING, THE MISINFORMATION, 687 00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:28,289 THE DESPERATE, PATHETIC ATTEMPTS 688 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,079 TO PAINT THIS PROCESS AS 689 00:18:30,099 --> 00:18:31,150 FRAUDULENT -- THE FACT IS, TRUMP 690 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:32,019 LOST THIS ELECTION. 691 00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:33,230 HE LOST. 692 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,170 ALL THAT BULLSHIT WHICH WE'VE 693 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:39,140 GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO SEEING WORK 694 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,039 DID NOT WORK THIS TIME. 695 00:18:40,059 --> 00:18:41,130 AND IT'S NOT LIKE TRUMP AND HIS 696 00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:42,000 FAMILY ARE GOING TO STOP -- 697 00:18:42,019 --> 00:18:42,240 THEY'RE GOING TO CARRY ON 698 00:18:42,259 --> 00:18:43,240 GRIFTING AND LYING LIKE THEY'VE 699 00:18:43,259 --> 00:18:47,000 ALWAYS DONE, BUT ONCE HE'S OUT 700 00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:48,089 OF THE WHITE HOUSE, IT'S JUST 701 00:18:48,109 --> 00:18:49,160 NOT GOING TO HAVE THE SAME 702 00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,019 EFFECT ANYMORE. 703 00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,029 IT'S NOT GOING TO DIRECTLY 704 00:18:51,049 --> 00:18:54,210 IMPACT EVERY AMERICAN'S LIFE. 705 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,279 AND THAT ALONE IS FUCKING 706 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:56,059 FANTASTIC. 707 00:18:56,079 --> 00:18:56,240 AND LOOK, BY TEMPERAMENT, I'M 708 00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:58,009 INCLINED TO OVER-ANALYZE 709 00:18:58,029 --> 00:18:59,079 EVERYTHING. 710 00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:02,200 AND I CAN ALREADY FEEL MYSELF 711 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,029 STARTING TO DO IT, FOCUS ON THE 712 00:19:04,049 --> 00:19:04,210 NEGATIVES HERE AND BE CYNICAL 713 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,190 ABOUT WHAT A BIDEN PRESIDENCY 714 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,059 COULD -- OR IS EVEN GOING TO 715 00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:08,009 TRY -- TO ACHIEVE. 716 00:19:08,029 --> 00:19:10,140 BUT BEFORE WE GET INTO ANYTHING 717 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,200 NEGATIVE AT ALL, LET ME JUST 718 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:13,279 GIVE US ALL A QUICK MOMENT, WITH 719 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,009 NO CAVEATS, OF CELEBRATION. 720 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:16,259 IN FACT, LET'S PUT 30 SECONDS ON 721 00:19:16,279 --> 00:19:18,130 THE CLOCK RIGHT NOW, DURING 722 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:20,200 WHICH TIME EVERYONE CAN JUST 723 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,089 EXPERIENCE JOY IN WHATEVER FORM 724 00:19:22,109 --> 00:19:24,140 YOU WANT -- DANCING, SCREAMING, 725 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,119 BANGING A FRYING PAN -- IT'S UP 726 00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,269 TO YOU. 727 00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:29,009 PERSONALLY, I'M GOING TO DO ONE 728 00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,059 OF MY FAVORITE ACTIVITIES, WHICH 729 00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:31,130 IS DISPENSING EXCELLENT FACTS 730 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,079 ABOUT OCTOPUSES OVER FOOTAGE OF 731 00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:32,269 PEOPLE CELEBRATING THIS 732 00:19:32,289 --> 00:19:33,279 ELECTION. 733 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:34,279 READY: 734 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,099 GO. 735 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,089 OCTOPUSES ARE GREAT. 736 00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:39,279 THEY HAVE THREE HEARTS, BLUE 737 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000 BLOOD, THEY CAN TASTE WITH THEIR 738 00:19:41,019 --> 00:19:42,109 ARMS, THEIR BRAINS ARE SPREAD 739 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,259 THROUGHOUT THEIR BODY, THEY CAN 740 00:19:43,279 --> 00:19:45,000 CHANGE SHAPE AND COLOR, THEY 741 00:19:45,019 --> 00:19:46,089 HAVE BEAKS, THEY CAN OPEN 742 00:19:46,109 --> 00:19:47,200 BOTTLES, THEY REMEMBER FACES, 743 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,049 AND THEY HOLD GRUDGES. 744 00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:50,069 ONE TIME AN OCTOPUS ESCAPED A 745 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,160 NEW ZEALAND AQUARIUM BY CRAWLING 746 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,259 DOWN A DRAIN PIPE INTO THE 747 00:19:52,279 --> 00:19:54,059 OCEAN. 748 00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:55,099 ALSO THERE WAS AN EXPERIMENT A 749 00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,089 FEW YEARS BACK WHERE SCIENTISTS 750 00:19:57,109 --> 00:19:58,200 GAVE OCTOPUSES ECSTASY, AND THEY 751 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,029 LEARNED THAT IF OCTOPUSES TAKE 752 00:20:00,049 --> 00:20:01,000 ECSTASY, THEY'LL HANG OUT AND 753 00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:06,049 PARTY WITH OTHER OCTOPUSES, BUT 754 00:20:06,069 --> 00:20:07,210 IF YOU DON'T DO THAT, THEY 755 00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,089 PREFER TO KEEP TO THEMSELVES. 756 00:20:08,109 --> 00:20:08,250 THAT'S FROM A REAL STUDY. 757 00:20:08,269 --> 00:20:09,200 ISN'T THAT GREAT? 758 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:10,089 I'M NOT SAYING I WANT TO FUCK AN 759 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,019 OCTOPUS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 760 00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:16,190 I KIND OF -- 761 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,220 OH, THAT'S IT. 762 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,039 THAT'S TIME. 763 00:20:21,059 --> 00:20:22,089 THAT WAS UNCOMPLICATED FUN. 764 00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:23,049 SO NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I AM 765 00:20:23,069 --> 00:20:23,259 GOING TO OVER-ANALYZE THIS 766 00:20:23,279 --> 00:20:26,160 ELECTION JUST A LITTLE BIT. 767 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,069 NOT MUCH THOUGH, MAINLY BECAUSE 768 00:20:27,089 --> 00:20:27,259 IT'S STILL TOO EARLY TO DRAW ANY 769 00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:28,180 BIG CONCLUSIONS. 770 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,279 THERE ARE TWO KEY THINGS WE KNOW 771 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,180 THOUGH. 772 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,029 THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT THIS 773 00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:34,180 ELECTION HAD RECORD-BREAKING 774 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,069 TURNOUT, AND OVER 74 MILLION 775 00:20:35,089 --> 00:20:36,089 PEOPLE CHOSE TO KICK 776 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:39,029 DONALD TRUMP OUT OF OFFICE. 777 00:20:39,049 --> 00:20:40,230 THE LESS GOOD NEWS IS THAT MORE 778 00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:43,019 THAN 70 MILLION PEOPLE VOTED FOR 779 00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:44,079 HIM AND EVERYTHING HE'S SAID AND 780 00:20:44,099 --> 00:20:46,269 STANDS FOR, AND THAT'S SOMETHING 781 00:20:46,289 --> 00:20:48,130 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RECKON 782 00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:50,069 WITH FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. 783 00:20:50,089 --> 00:20:54,009 AND I KNOW THAT BIDEN HAS 784 00:20:54,029 --> 00:20:54,200 REPEATEDLY SAID ON THE CAMPAIGN 785 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,170 TRAIL THAT THE UGLINESS TRUMP 786 00:20:55,190 --> 00:20:57,039 REPRESENTS IS SIMPLY "NOT WHO WE 787 00:20:57,059 --> 00:20:58,210 ARE" -- HE DID IT CONSTANTLY IN 788 00:20:58,230 --> 00:21:00,140 MOMENTS LIKE THIS: 789 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,180 >> THE ONLY THING THAT COULD 790 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,279 TEAR AMERICA APART IS AMERICA 791 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,029 ITSELF. 792 00:21:04,049 --> 00:21:06,240 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT TRUMP'S 793 00:21:06,259 --> 00:21:10,220 BEEN TRYING TO DO FROM THE VERY 794 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,089 BEGINNING, DIVIDING AMERICA 795 00:21:11,109 --> 00:21:13,079 BASED ON RACE, RELIGION, GENDER, 796 00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:15,000 NATIONAL ORIGIN. 797 00:21:15,019 --> 00:21:16,140 IT'S WRONG. 798 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,150 IT'S NOT WHO WE ARE. 799 00:21:18,170 --> 00:21:20,190 THIS IS NOT WHO WE ARE. 800 00:21:20,210 --> 00:21:22,109 EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO DONALD TRUMP 801 00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:23,150 IS. 802 00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:24,240 LET'S KEEP SHOWING THEM WHO WE 803 00:21:24,259 --> 00:21:30,140 ARE. 804 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,109 >> John: LOOK, THAT IS A 805 00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:34,069 REALLY NICE SENTIMENT, BUT 806 00:21:34,089 --> 00:21:38,119 DIVIDING AMERICA BASED ON RACE, 807 00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:39,210 RELIGION, GENDER, AND 808 00:21:39,230 --> 00:21:40,039 NATIONAL ORIGIN HAS 809 00:21:40,059 --> 00:21:40,230 FREQUENTLY BEEN VERY MUCH WHO WE 810 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:41,160 ARE. 811 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:42,059 IN FACT, YOU COULD ARGUE THAT, 812 00:21:42,079 --> 00:21:43,079 IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA, THE 813 00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:43,269 ONE-SENTENCE VERSION OF TRUMP'S 814 00:21:43,289 --> 00:21:44,210 PRESIDENCY IS "HE KEPT SHOWING 815 00:21:44,230 --> 00:21:49,059 THEM WHO WE ARE." 816 00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:50,220 SO WE CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT 817 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,210 IGNORE THAT MILLIONS VOTED FOR 818 00:21:51,230 --> 00:21:53,000 TRUMP, MEANING THEY EITHER 819 00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:54,099 ACTIVELY SUPPORTED HIS BIGOTRY, 820 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,230 OR AT THE VERY LEAST, WERE 821 00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:56,220 COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH IT TO 822 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,119 VOTE FOR HIM ANYWAY. 823 00:21:57,140 --> 00:21:58,160 WHICH ISN'T GREAT. 824 00:21:58,180 --> 00:22:00,029 IT'S LIKE IF YOUR GRANDMA WAS 825 00:22:00,049 --> 00:22:01,119 DATING TWO OLD GUYS, BOTH OF 826 00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:02,109 WHOM HAD FOUGHT IN WORLD WAR II, 827 00:22:02,130 --> 00:22:03,039 AND IN THE END, SHE PICKS PETE, 828 00:22:03,059 --> 00:22:04,240 WHO SEEMS DECENT AND WORKS AT 829 00:22:04,259 --> 00:22:05,259 THE LIBRARY AND YOU'RE HAPPY FOR 830 00:22:05,279 --> 00:22:07,160 HER. 831 00:22:07,180 --> 00:22:08,140 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, YOU ARE 832 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,130 WONDERING HOW THE FUCK SHE GOT 833 00:22:10,150 --> 00:22:12,079 SO FAR WITH KLAUS. 834 00:22:12,099 --> 00:22:13,109 BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T REALLY 835 00:22:13,130 --> 00:22:15,259 REFLECT THAT WELL ON HER. 836 00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:20,039 AND EVEN IN THE JOY AND RELIEF 837 00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:21,130 AT THE END OF THIS WEEK, IT DOES 838 00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:23,150 FEEL WORTH REMEMBERING HOW SCARY 839 00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:24,089 IT FELT AS IT HAPPENED, WITH 840 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,130 TRUMP SUPPORTERS SWARMING AND 841 00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:27,079 FOLLOWING A BIDEN-HARRIS BUS IN 842 00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:30,220 TEXAS, AND THAT MOMENT IN 843 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,049 DETROIT THAT WE SAW EARLIER, 844 00:22:32,069 --> 00:22:34,130 WHERE A LARGELY WHITE CROWD 845 00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:35,069 SHOWED UP IN A CITY THAT'S 846 00:22:35,089 --> 00:22:35,200 80% BLACK TO SHOUT 847 00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,099 THAT THEY SHOULD STOP COUNTING 848 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:37,069 THEIR VOTES. 849 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,210 AND IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW 850 00:22:38,230 --> 00:22:39,190 THOSE IMAGES RHYME WITH HISTORY, 851 00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:40,160 IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST 852 00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:41,130 NOT BE USED TO SEEING THEM IN 853 00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:43,180 COLOR. 854 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,059 BECAUSE THE LAST FOUR YEARS 855 00:22:45,079 --> 00:22:47,079 WEREN'T ABOUT JUST ONE MAN -- 856 00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:48,019 AND THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE 857 00:22:48,039 --> 00:22:49,079 LAST FOUR YEARS. 858 00:22:49,099 --> 00:22:50,230 AND EVEN THAT ONE MAN IS BY NO 859 00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:54,130 MEANS GOING AWAY. 860 00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:56,180 >> WHATEVER HAPPENS, 861 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,089 DONALD TRUMP IS THE CURRENT AND 862 00:22:58,109 --> 00:23:00,119 FUTURE LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN 863 00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:01,109 PARTY. 864 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,160 CERTAINLY AT LEAST UNTIL SOMEONE 865 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:03,279 ELSE COMES ALONG WITH HIS 866 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,240 STAMINA, CHARISMA, AND DRIVE. 867 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,240 >> John: PUTTING ASIDE THE 868 00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,039 WILDLY DIVERGENT DEFINITIONS WE 869 00:23:08,059 --> 00:23:09,160 HAVE OF "STAMINA, CHARISMA, 870 00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,069 AND DRIVE," THAT "GET OUT" 871 00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:12,269 GARDEN PARTY GUEST IS RIGHT WHEN 872 00:23:12,289 --> 00:23:14,190 SHE SAYS DONALD TRUMP IS HERE TO 873 00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:17,019 STAY -- ALTHOUGH NOT IN OFFICE, 874 00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:18,240 HOWEVER HARD HE RESISTS GOING. 875 00:23:18,259 --> 00:23:19,279 AS A BIDEN CAMPAIGN SPOKESPERSON 876 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,190 TOLD THE PRESS THIS WEEK, 877 00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:23,029 "THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT 878 00:23:23,049 --> 00:23:24,250 IS PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF 879 00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:25,269 ESCORTING TRESPASSERS OUT OF THE 880 00:23:25,289 --> 00:23:28,099 WHITE HOUSE." 881 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:29,079 WHICH IS JUST A NICE SENTENCE TO 882 00:23:29,099 --> 00:23:33,200 HEAR. 883 00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:34,200 AND THERE IS GOING TO BE TIME TO 884 00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:35,089 TALK ABOUT WHAT TRUMPISM IS 885 00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:35,289 GOING TO MEAN GOING FORWARD, 886 00:23:36,009 --> 00:23:36,269 JUST AS THERE'S GOING TO BE TIME 887 00:23:36,289 --> 00:23:38,000 TO TALK ABOUT WHAT THIS WEEK 888 00:23:38,019 --> 00:23:40,210 MEANS FOR THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY, 889 00:23:40,230 --> 00:23:42,210 WHICH DIDN'T GET EVERYTHING THEY 890 00:23:42,230 --> 00:23:42,289 HOPED FOR. 891 00:23:43,009 --> 00:23:43,259 THEY LOST SEATS IN THE HOUSE, 892 00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:45,049 AND THE QUESTION OF WHETHER OR 893 00:23:45,069 --> 00:23:46,190 NOT THEY'LL HAVE A SENATE 894 00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:47,279 MAJORITY IS DOWN TO TWO RUNOFF 895 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,099 ELECTIONS IN GEORGIA IN JANUARY. 896 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:52,180 BUT THE REAL TAKEAWAY OF THIS 897 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,250 ELECTION IS THAT THERE'S NO EASY 898 00:23:53,269 --> 00:23:55,089 ANSWER TO THE QUESTION OF WHO WE 899 00:23:55,109 --> 00:24:01,150 ARE. 900 00:24:01,170 --> 00:24:03,049 A PERFECT EXAMPLE IS THIS: 901 00:24:03,069 --> 00:24:03,289 KAMALA HARRIS IS NOW GOING TO BE 902 00:24:04,009 --> 00:24:04,220 VICE PRESIDENT. 903 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,009 THE FIRST WOMAN VICE PRESIDENT, 904 00:24:06,029 --> 00:24:06,200 THE FIRST SOUTH ASIAN AMERICAN 905 00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:07,250 VICE PRESIDENT, THE FIRST BLACK 906 00:24:07,269 --> 00:24:08,140 VICE PRESIDENT, AND THE SECOND 907 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,289 BLACK PERSON WE'VE SENT TO THE 908 00:24:10,009 --> 00:24:12,190 WHITE HOUSE IN THE LAST 12 909 00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:14,220 YEARS. 910 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,200 THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 911 00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:16,119 UNFORTUNATELY, WE DID ELECT A 912 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:18,049 WHITE SUPREMACIST IN BETWEEN 913 00:24:18,069 --> 00:24:18,210 THEM. 914 00:24:18,230 --> 00:24:19,250 AND THE FACT IS THAT ALL OF THAT 915 00:24:19,269 --> 00:24:22,279 TOGETHER IS KIND OF WHO WE ARE. 916 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,190 WE'RE THE COUNTRY THAT DID ALL 917 00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:25,190 THOSE THINGS. 918 00:24:25,210 --> 00:24:30,099 AND IT'S IMPORTANT NOT TO DENY 919 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:30,289 THAT REALITY. 920 00:24:31,009 --> 00:24:32,109 AND JUST A FINAL QUICK POINT 921 00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:34,140 HERE: DEFEATING TRUMP TOOK A LOT 922 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,000 OF WORK, MUCH OF IT BY ACTIVIST 923 00:24:36,019 --> 00:24:36,289 GROUPS LED BY THOSE WITH THE 924 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,009 MOST TO LOSE FROM A SECOND TRUMP 925 00:24:38,029 --> 00:24:39,220 TERM. 926 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,200 A BIG FACTOR IN THE VOTE IN 927 00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:42,000 ARIZONA WAS INDIGENOUS AND 928 00:24:42,019 --> 00:24:42,240 LATINO PEOPLE COMING OUT FOR 929 00:24:42,259 --> 00:24:44,279 BIDEN. 930 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,230 AND IN PENNSYLVANIA, MICHIGAN, 931 00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:48,019 AND GEORGIA, BLACK VOTERS WERE 932 00:24:48,039 --> 00:24:49,250 ABSOLUTELY KEY, WITH THE GROUPS 933 00:24:49,269 --> 00:24:51,059 ORGANIZING THAT VOTE, 934 00:24:51,079 --> 00:24:52,240 PARTICULARLY BLACK WOMEN, 935 00:24:52,259 --> 00:24:54,220 WORKING RELENTLESSLY FOR YEARS. 936 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,200 AND IN THE DAYS AND WEEKS AHEAD, 937 00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:58,119 THERE'S LIKELY TO BE A LOT OF 938 00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,240 TALK FROM WHITE PEOPLE ABOUT HOW 939 00:25:00,259 --> 00:25:01,210 BLACK AND BROWN VOTERS "SAVED 940 00:25:01,230 --> 00:25:03,289 US," WHICH KIND OF MISSES THE 941 00:25:04,009 --> 00:25:05,089 POINT A LITTLE BIT, BECAUSE THEY 942 00:25:05,109 --> 00:25:07,180 WEREN'T SO MUCH VOTING AS A 943 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,130 FAVOR FOR WHITE PEOPLE SO MUCH 944 00:25:09,150 --> 00:25:10,130 AS VOTING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES 945 00:25:10,150 --> 00:25:11,109 AND THEIR COMMUNITIES FROM 946 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:12,130 SOMEONE TRYING TO DO THEM ACTIVE 947 00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:15,180 HARM. 948 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,170 ALTHOUGH THERE ARE SOME LESSONS 949 00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:18,170 IN SOME OF THAT ORGANIZING. 950 00:25:18,190 --> 00:25:19,240 IN GEORGIA, STACEY ABRAMS, ALONG 951 00:25:19,259 --> 00:25:21,190 WITH MANY OTHERS, HELPED TO 952 00:25:21,210 --> 00:25:23,130 REGISTER HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS 953 00:25:23,150 --> 00:25:24,160 OF NEW VOTERS OVER THE PAST TWO 954 00:25:24,180 --> 00:25:25,259 YEARS -- HALF OF THEM PEOPLE OF 955 00:25:25,279 --> 00:25:28,160 COLOR -- AND TURN THEM OUT TO 956 00:25:28,180 --> 00:25:29,130 THE POLLS. 957 00:25:29,150 --> 00:25:30,230 IN FACT, JUST BEFORE THE 958 00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:32,130 PRESIDENTIAL RACE WAS CALLED, 959 00:25:32,150 --> 00:25:33,220 SHE WAS ALREADY TWEETING OUT 960 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,250 DETAILS ABOUT THE JANUARY 5 961 00:25:34,269 --> 00:25:37,150 RUNOFF FOR SENATE AND MAKING 962 00:25:37,170 --> 00:25:38,250 SURE PEOPLE REQUEST THEIR 963 00:25:38,269 --> 00:25:39,039 BALLOTS. 964 00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:40,200 WHY? 965 00:25:40,220 --> 00:25:43,029 BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S 966 00:25:43,049 --> 00:25:44,079 FUCKING DOING. 967 00:25:44,099 --> 00:25:45,279 AND IF THE DEMOCRATS 968 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,140 ARE SMART -- WHICH THEY AREN'T 969 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,130 ALWAYS -- THEY SHOULD LISTEN TO 970 00:25:48,150 --> 00:25:49,269 HER AND ACTIVISTS LIKE HER GOING 971 00:25:49,289 --> 00:25:52,089 FORWARD. 972 00:25:52,109 --> 00:25:53,259 LOOK, IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG 973 00:25:53,279 --> 00:25:55,000 ROAD TO DIG US OUT OF THE PLACE 974 00:25:55,019 --> 00:25:56,029 THAT THE LAST FOUR YEARS HAVE 975 00:25:56,049 --> 00:25:57,130 PUT US IN, BUT THAT'S WHY IT'S 976 00:25:57,150 --> 00:25:58,269 SO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THE 977 00:25:58,289 --> 00:26:00,220 MOMENTS OF TRIUMPH THIS WEEK HAS 978 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,240 PROVIDED. 979 00:26:03,259 --> 00:26:05,059 RITCHIE TORRES AND 980 00:26:05,079 --> 00:26:07,029 MONDAIRE JONES BECAME 981 00:26:07,049 --> 00:26:07,220 THE FIRST GAY BLACK MEN ELECTED 982 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,140 TO CONGRESS. 983 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,109 CORI BUSH, A BLACK LIVES MATTER 984 00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:12,000 ACTIVIST, IS MISSOURI'S FIRST 985 00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:13,089 BLACK CONGRESSWOMAN. 986 00:26:13,109 --> 00:26:14,220 IN DELAWARE, SARAH McBRIDE 987 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,049 BECAME THE COUNTRY'S FIRST 988 00:26:16,069 --> 00:26:17,039 OPENLY TRANSGENDER STATE 989 00:26:17,059 --> 00:26:19,250 SENATOR. 990 00:26:19,269 --> 00:26:21,069 MULTIPLE COUNTIES ELECTED 991 00:26:21,089 --> 00:26:22,000 REFORM-MINDED PROSECUTORS AND 992 00:26:22,019 --> 00:26:23,059 SHERIFFS. 993 00:26:23,079 --> 00:26:24,160 FLORIDA VOTED TO INCREASE THE 994 00:26:24,180 --> 00:26:25,269 MINIMUM WAGE, AND EVERY STATE 995 00:26:25,289 --> 00:26:27,089 THAT HAD A MARIJUANA INITIATIVE 996 00:26:27,109 --> 00:26:29,190 ON THE BALLOT APPROVED IT. 997 00:26:29,210 --> 00:26:31,220 AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DESPITE 998 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,069 HIS LIES, HIS OBSTRUCTIONS, AND 999 00:26:33,089 --> 00:26:34,119 HIS DEPRESSINGLY POPULAR RACISM, 1000 00:26:34,140 --> 00:26:38,269 THIS GUY FUCKING LOST. 1001 00:26:38,289 --> 00:26:45,109 DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS? 1002 00:26:45,130 --> 00:26:46,160 ONE, HE'S SAD RIGHT NOW -- WHICH 1003 00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:47,059 IS GREAT. 1004 00:26:47,079 --> 00:26:47,279 BUT ALSO, NO MORE STEPHEN MILLER 1005 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:48,220 AT THE WHITE HOUSE. 1006 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,049 NO MORE STEVE MNUCHIN -- HATE TO 1007 00:26:50,069 --> 00:26:51,140 SEE HIM GO, LOVE TO WATCH 1008 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,029 HIM WALK AWAY. 1009 00:26:52,049 --> 00:26:52,200 NO MORE HELICOPTER SHOUTING 1010 00:26:52,220 --> 00:26:55,200 TIME. 1011 00:26:55,220 --> 00:26:56,269 I'M NOT GOING TO MISS THAT. 1012 00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:57,269 NO MORE MIKE PENCE OR 1013 00:26:57,289 --> 00:26:59,089 BETSY DeVOS OR JARED. 1014 00:26:59,109 --> 00:27:01,150 NO MORE FUCKING JARED. 1015 00:27:01,170 --> 00:27:04,009 AND THERE'LL BE BIG SYSTEMIC, 1016 00:27:04,029 --> 00:27:04,190 INSTITUTIONAL PROBLEMS WE NEED 1017 00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:06,160 TO TALK ABOUT IN THE MONTHS AND 1018 00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:08,009 THE YEARS TO COME -- AND WE 1019 00:27:08,029 --> 00:27:09,119 WILL, BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, 1020 00:27:09,140 --> 00:27:11,079 THIS IS THE LIFE I'VE CHOSEN. 1021 00:27:11,099 --> 00:27:14,230 BUT FOR NOW, AFTER WHAT'S JUST 1022 00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,049 HAPPENED, I FRANKLY THINK WE'VE 1023 00:27:16,069 --> 00:27:17,250 ALL EARNED THE RIGHT TO PUT ON 1024 00:27:17,269 --> 00:27:22,230 OUR MASKS, GO OUTSIDE, AND PARTY 1025 00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:23,210 LIKE OCTOPUSES ON FUCKING 1026 00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:24,069 ECSTASY. 1027 00:27:24,089 --> 00:27:28,109 AND NOW, THIS. 1028 00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:30,099 >> Announcer: AND NOW, AT THE 1029 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,140 END OF A LONG, EXHAUSTING WEEK, 1030 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,039 IT DUMPS. 1031 00:27:34,059 --> 00:27:36,039 >> THERE HAVE BEEN NO HICCUPS, 1032 00:27:36,059 --> 00:27:38,210 SO TO SPEAK ABOUT JUST WAITING 1033 00:27:38,230 --> 00:27:40,019 FOR THAT BIG DUMP. 1034 00:27:40,039 --> 00:27:42,190 >> ON CUE TO GETTING WHAT SHOULD 1035 00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:43,200 BE A PRETTY BIG DUMP. 1036 00:27:43,220 --> 00:27:49,039 >> WE'VE GOT A DUMP, LAURA, IT 0 1037 00:27:49,059 --> 00:27:49,200 EAST COAST TIME. 1038 00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:51,130 >> BE EXPECTING OF THE DEPOSIT 1039 00:27:51,150 --> 00:27:51,190 DUMP. 1040 00:27:51,210 --> 00:27:53,289 >> SO FAR THE FIRST DUMP YOUR 1041 00:27:54,009 --> 00:27:55,150 LOOK PRETTY GOOD. 1042 00:27:55,170 --> 00:27:57,009 >> TWO DUMPS TODAY. 1043 00:27:57,029 --> 00:27:59,019 >> I THINK YOU WILL SEE A BIG 1044 00:27:59,039 --> 00:27:59,170 DUMP TODAY. 1045 00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:02,150 >> SEE A BIG DUMP EARLY IN THE 1046 00:28:02,170 --> 00:28:02,220 EVENING. 1047 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,150 >> AND SLOWER WE ANTICIPATED, WE 1048 00:28:05,170 --> 00:28:07,009 EXPECTED A BIG DUMB. 1049 00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:08,160 >> WE SHOULD POINT OUT IT'S NOT 1050 00:28:08,180 --> 00:28:09,130 GOING TO BE ONE DUMB. 1051 00:28:09,150 --> 00:28:11,220 >> HE IS WAITING FOR A BIG DUMB. 1052 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,259 >> ABOUT 9:30, WE ARE GOING TO 1053 00:28:12,279 --> 00:28:15,079 GET A BIG DUMP. 1054 00:28:15,099 --> 00:28:17,130 >> I WAS TOLD WE WERE GOING TO 1055 00:28:17,150 --> 00:28:18,250 GET THIS ONE GIANT DUMP IN THE 1056 00:28:18,269 --> 00:28:19,160 WALK YOU. 1057 00:28:19,180 --> 00:28:21,000 THAT'S GOING TO BE A HUGE DUMP. 1058 00:28:21,019 --> 00:28:23,140 >> THEY DID THE BIG DUMB. 1059 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,279 >> I TOLD YOU, THAT'S WHAT THEY 1060 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:27,059 DO. 1061 00:28:27,079 --> 00:28:29,009 >> DONALD TRUMP GOT A LITTLE BIT 1062 00:28:29,029 --> 00:28:30,210 OF BENEFIT OF THAT LAST DUMP. 1063 00:28:30,230 --> 00:28:32,039 >> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW, 1064 00:28:32,059 --> 00:28:33,240 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 1065 00:28:33,259 --> 00:28:36,049 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 1066 00:28:36,069 --> 00:28:36,140 GOOD NIGHT. 1067 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:41,089 ♪ ♪ 1068 00:28:41,109 --> 00:28:44,170 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]