♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT HAS BEEN A VERY BUSY WEEK.
COP30, THE U.N.'S CLIMATE
CONFERENCE, BEGAN WITHOUT AN
OFFICIAL DELEGATION FROM THE
U.S., THE LAST-EVER PENNY WAS
MINTED IN PHILADELPHIA, AND IN
RUSSIA A NEW AI ROBOT WAS
UNVEILED, AND IT DIDN'T GO
GREAT.
♪ ♪
["GONNA FLY NOW" PLAYING]
♪ ♪
>> John: IT'S INCREDIBLE.
EVERY SINGLE PART OF THAT IS
PERFECT.
FROM THE ROBOT'S GAIT -- WHICH
GIVES "DRUNK GRANDPA GOING TO
PISS AFTER ACCIDENTALLY FALLING
ASLEEP IN HIS CHAIR" -- TO IT
BEING DRAGGED OFFSTAGE LIKE A
BACHELORETTE BEING REMOVED FROM
A NIGHTCLUB, TO, I'M SORRY, THAT
CURTAIN.
AND I DON'T WANT TO JUDGE HERE,
BUT IT FEELS LIKE, BARE MINIMUM,
YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WORK
ANYWHERE NEAR ENGINEERING IF YOU
CAN'T SUCCESSFULLY UNFURL A
CURTAIN ON THE FIRST TRY.
[LAUGHTER]
MEANWHILE, IN WASHINGTON, THE
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN ENDED AFTER
EIGHT SENATE DEMOCRATS CAVED --
SO WEDNESDAY REALLY SHOULD'VE
BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR THE
PRESIDENT, UNTIL THIS HAPPENED:
>> PRESIDENT TRUMP REFUSING TO
ANSWER WHY HE WON'T LET THE FBI
RELEASE THE JEFFREY EPSTEIN
FILES, EVEN AS JUST-REVEALED
MESSAGES WRITTEN BY THE SEX
OFFENDER RAISE NEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND
WHETHER TRUMP WAS AWARE OF
EPSTEIN'S CRIMES.
TRUMP'S NAME COMING UP AGAIN AND
AGAIN IN A 2017 EMAIL TO FORMER
TREASURY SECRETARY
LARRY SUMMERS, EPSTEIN WRITING,
"I HAVE MET SOME VERY BAD
PEOPLE.
NONE AS BAD AS TRUMP.
NOT ONE DECENT CELL IN HIS BODY.
SO YES, DANGEROUS."
>> John: WOW.
THAT DOESN'T LOOK GREAT.
WHEN EVEN THE GUY RUNNING THE
PERVERT EXPRESS TO CRIME ISLAND
THINKS THAT YOU'RE A DICK,
THAT HAS GOT TO STING.
I KNOW TRUMP SEEMS TO BE IMMUNE
TO SHAME, BUT C'MON -- AT SOME
POINT HE'S GOING TO LOOK AT
HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR AND, EVEN
IF BRIEFLY, THINK: " NONE AS BAD
AS ME?
CAPTAIN FREAK OF THE FLOATING
SEX DUNGEON THINKS I'M THE
WORST?
FUCK.
THAT'S ROUGH."
[LAUGHTER]
THE WHITE HOUSE HAS BEEN IN
DAMAGE CONTROL MODE EVER SINCE,
EVEN INSISTING THAT THE EMAILS
PROVE TRUMP DID NOTHING WRONG,
WHICH THEY VERY MUCH DO NOT.
BUT PERHAPS THE BOLDEST ATTEMPT
TO SPIN THESE REVELATIONS CAME
FROM MEGYN KELLY, WHO FOR SOME
REASON FELT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO
MAKE ONE THING CLEAR:
>> I DO KNOW SOMEBODY VERY, VERY
CLOSE TO THIS CASE WHO WAS IN A
POSITION TO KNOW VIRTUALLY
EVERYTHING.
JEFFREY EPSTEIN, IN THIS
PERSON'S VIEW, WAS NOT A
PEDOPHILE.
THIS WAS THIS PERSON'S VIEW, WHO
WAS THERE FOR A LOT OF THIS, BUT
THAT HE WAS INTO THE "BARELY
LEGAL" TYPE, LIKE HE LIKED
15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS.
AND I REALIZE THIS IS
DISGUSTING, I'M DEFINITELY NOT
TRYING TO MAKE AN EXCUSE FOR
THIS.
HE WASN'T INTO, LIKE,
8-YEAR-OLDS, BUT HE LIKED THE
VERY YOUNG TEEN TYPES THAT COULD
PASS FOR EVEN YOUNGER THAN THEY
WERE, BUT WOULD LOOK LEGAL TO A
PASSERBY.
LOOK, IT'S -- YOU CAN SAY THAT'S
A DISTINCTION WITHOUT A
DIFFERENCE.
>> NO, IT'S NOT, IT'S NOT.
>> I THINK THERE IS A
DIFFERENCE.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A
15-YEAR-OLD AND A 5-YEAR-OLD.
YOU KNOW, JUST -- WHATEVER.
>> John: YEAH, THAT CLIP STARTS
WITH, "I KNOW SOMEONE WHO'S
SUPER IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THE
EPSTEIN SHIT," AND SOMEHOW GETS
SKETCHIER FROM THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE, IF I'M UNDERSTANDING
YOU THERE -- AND I'M DEFINITELY
NOT -- EPSTEIN WASN'T INTO
8-YEAR-OLDS.
HE WAS JUST INTO VERY YOUNG
TEENS WHO COULD PASS FOR EVEN
YOUNGER, WHILE ALSO, TO
PASSERSBY, STILL SOMEHOW
MANAGING TO LOOK LEGAL.
AND YOU FELT THIS WAS AN
IMPORTANT NUMERICAL DISTINCTION
TO BRING UP TO YOUR
"YES, AND"-ING FRIEND.
[LAUGHTER]
LOOK, I'M CLEARLY NO STRANGER TO
SHARING UPSETTING NUMBERS WITH
MY AUDIENCE, BUT PLEASE DO KILL
ME IF I EVER START DOING
PEDOPHILE MATH.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, THE HOUSE IS APPARENTLY SET
TO VOTE THIS COMING WEEK ON
WHETHER THE DOJ MUST RELEASE ALL
ITS EPSTEIN FILES, SO THERE'LL
CLEARLY BE MORE TO SAY ABOUT
THIS GOING FORWARD.
BUT FOR NOW, WE'RE GOING TO DIVE
STRAIGHT IN WITH OUR MAIN STORY
THIS WEEK, WHICH CONCERNS PUBLIC
MEDIA.
IT'S BROUGHT US "SESAME STREET,"
NPR'S TINY DESK CONCERTS, AND
"THE JOY OF PAINTING WITH
BOB ROSS," WHICH ONCE FEATURED
THIS EXCEPTIONAL REVEAL:
>> OKAY, WE JUST PUT A LITTLE
BIT OF COLOR ON THE FAN BRUSH,
AND IN OUR WORLD, MAYBE THERE
LIVES -- WELL, THERE DOES NOW --
JUST SOME HAPPY LITTLE TREES
BACK IN HERE.
THESE LITTLE TREES WOULD BE A
SUPER PLACE FOR MY LITTLE
SQUIRREL.
IF YOU'VE PAINTED WITH ME
BEFORE, YOU KNOW I HAVE ALL
KINDS OF LITTLE CREATURE PETS.
I'M GONNA SHARE WITH YOU TODAY
MY LATEST LITTLE SQUIRREL THAT'S
LIVING WITH ME.
HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE
THING.
YOU HAVE TO FORCE HIM TO EAT,
SEE?
WE CALL HIM PEAPOD THE POCKET
SQUIRREL.
>> John: OH.
MY.
GOD.
"PEAPOD THE POCKET SQUIRREL"
MIGHT BE THE BEST SEQUENCE OF
WORDS IN THE HISTORY OF THE
ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
AND ADMIT IT -- FOR A MOMENT,
YOU THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
AN IMAGINARY SQUIRREL THERE.
YOU HEARD HIM SAY, "THESE LITTLE
TREES WOULD BE A SUPER PLACE FOR
MY LITTLE SQUIRREL," AND ASSUMED
HE WAS REFERRING TO AN ANIMAL HE
WAS ABOUT TO PAINT, NOT A LIVING
RODENT ON HIS PERSON.
EVEN WHEN HE MOVED THE DROPPER
TOWARDS HIS POCKET, A PHYSICAL
SQUIRREL WASN'T ON YOUR MENTAL
HORIZON.
YOU JUST FIGURED IT WAS A WEIRD
PAINT TOOL, AND THAT NO WAY WAS
A REAL-LIFE FUCKING SQUIRREL
CHILLING IN THIS GUY'S CLOTHES.
THERE'S JUST NO FUCKING WAY.
WHAT IF IT SHITS?
BUT HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HAPPIER
TO BE WRONG?
ALSO, FUN FACT -- PEAPOD WASN'T
BOB ROSS' ONLY SQUIRREL.
HE APPARENTLY BUILT AN ENORMOUS
CAGE OUTSIDE OF HIS HOME, IN
WHICH HE NURSED ORPHANED
SQUIRRELS BACK TO HEALTH, WHICH
IS PRESUMABLY WHY THIS ABSOLUTE
BANGER OF A PHOTO EXISTS.
AND SORRY TO EVERY LIVING
SUPERMODEL, BUT THAT IS A POUT.
[LAUGHTER]
ANYWAY, IN AMERICA, ALMOST ALL
PUBLIC MEDIA FALLS UNDER THE
CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC
BROADCASTING, WHICH UNTIL
RECENTLY DISTRIBUTED FUNDING TO
OVER 500 RADIO AND TV GRANTEES,
REPRESENTING MORE THAN 1,500
LOCALLY MANAGED AND OPERATED
STATIONS NATIONWIDE.
TOGETHER, THE SYSTEM REACHES
NEARLY 99% OF THE U.S.
POPULATION WITH FREE PROGRAMMING
AND SERVICES.
AND PUBLIC MEDIA'S BEEN TRULY
INNOVATIVE IN REACHING
UNDER-SERVED AUDIENCES.
IT WAS A PUBLIC TV STATION THAT
FIRST INVENTED CLOSED CAPTIONING
IN THE 1970s, AND STATIONS
AROUND THE COUNTRY OFFER
PROGRAMMING IN HAITIAN CREOLE,
NAVAJO, VIETNAMESE, AND MANY
OTHER LANGUAGES.
BUT, AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY KNOW,
IT'S NOW FACING A SERIOUS
THREAT, AS OVER THE SUMMER
CONGRESS DECIDED TO ELIMINATE
$1.1 BILLION THAT HAD BEEN
ALLOCATED TO FUND PUBLIC
BROADCASTING FOR THE NEXT TWO
YEARS.
IT WAS SOMETHING THAT TRUMP
CELEBRATED LIKE THIS:
>> PUBLIC BROADCASTING, THEY'VE
BEEN LOOKING TO GET IT OUT OF
THERE FOR BILLIONS AND BILLIONS
OF DOLLARS, AND VERY, VERY
UNFAIR.
VERY, VERY UNFAIR REPORTING.
THEY WOULD -- I WOULD SAY THEY'D
MAKE CNN LOOK HONEST.
AND WE GOT RID OF IT, FINALLY.
WE GOT RID OF IT.
WE GOT RID OF BILLIONS OF
DOLLARS THAT WAS WASTED ON THAT.
>> John: YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS IN A
PRECISE WAY, BUT DONALD TRUMP,
PROUDLY SLURRING HIS WAY THROUGH
ANOTHER ON-PURPOSE DISASTER
MIGHT BE THE SCIENTIFIC OPPOSITE
OF BOB ROSS AND PEAPOD.
IN FACT, IF YOU PLAY THOSE TWO
CLIPS AT THE SAME TIME, I THINK
THE WORLD MIGHT EXPLODE.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT IT'S TRUE -- IN JULY,
CONGRESS APPROVED TRUMP'S PLAN
TO ELIMINATE THE CPB'S FUNDING
ENTIRELY.
IT'S ONE OF MANY EGREGIOUS
ACTIONS THIS ADMINISTRATION'S
TAKEN, WHICH IS WHY THE NUMBER
ONE SEARCH ON GOOGLE THIS YEAR
IS PROBABLY GOING TO END UP
BEING, "WAIT, CAN THE GOVERNMENT
DO THAT?"
AND ALL OF THIS HAS
UNDERSTANDABLY UPSET A LOT OF
PEOPLE -- EVEN SOME THAT YOU MAY
NOT HAVE THOUGHT WOULD BE FANS
OF PUBLIC MEDIA, LIKE THIS GUY:
>> PUBLIC RADIO, IT'S A NATIONAL
TREASURE.
I MEAN, WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU GO?
AS A YOUNG MAN, I WATCHED
GINGER BAKER HAVE A DRUM-OFF
AGAINST THE DRUMMER FROM RAT.
AND, YOU KNOW, ON "ROCKSCHOOL"
ON PBS.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THAT ON
NETWORK TELEVISION.
AND NOT TO MENTION
"SESAME STREET."
I MEAN, LOOK, THIS IS --
THIS IS -- "MISTER ROGERS."
IT'S QUALITY PROGRAMMING, AND IT
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
AND IT'S A DAMN SHAME TO JUST
THROW IT IN THE TOILET LIKE
THAT.
>> John: OKAY, THERE'S A LOT TO
SAY THERE, BUT MOSTLY: "THE TOP
HALF OF HIM IS NOT THE PROBLEM."
[LAUGHTER]
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
YOU'RE THINKING, "I HAD NO IDEA
THAT THE BERSERKER BLÖTHAR, LEAD
VOCALIST OF HEAVY METAL BAND
GWAR, WAS SUCH A FAN OF PUBLIC
MEDIA!"
BUT, APPARENTLY, HE IS.
AND IT'S BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND
CONFUSING TO WATCH HIM UTTER THE
WORDS "MISTER ROGERS," AS IT'S
HARD TO IMAGINE THEM IN THE SAME
UNIVERSE.
ALTHOUGH, I'LL SAY, I'D LOVE TO
HAVE SEEN GWAR ON "MISTER
ROGERS."
"BLÖTHAR, YOU'RE SPECIAL JUST
THE WAY YOU ARE.
YOUR DISEASED UNDERCARRIAGE
COMPOSED OF ABSCESS-RIDDLED
PENISES MAKES YOU YOU."
[LAUGHTER]
BUT HE'S RIGHT.
THIS BUDGET CUT IS DEVASTATING.
ACTUALLY, MAYBE TAKE THAT DOWN.
[LAUGHTER]
THIS CUT WILL BE FELT ALL OVER,
BUT ESPECIALLY IN RURAL, REMOTE,
AND TRIBAL COMMUNITIES.
ONE ANALYSIS ESTIMATES THAT AS
MANY AS 115 STATIONS,
COLLECTIVELY SERVING 43 MILLION
AMERICANS, ARE LIKELY TO CLOSE
BY MID NEXT YEAR.
AND AS A DJ AT THIS COLORADO
STATION EXPLAINS, THESE STATIONS
CAN FILL A VITAL COMMUNITY ROLE.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE DO
IS PROVIDE PUBLIC SERVICE
ANNOUNCEMENTS THAT INFORM PEOPLE
OF MEETINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT
TO THE COMMUNITY, THAT THEY
DON'T ALWAYS GET IN A TIMELY
FASHION OTHERWISE.
SOME EXAMPLES THAT I JUST READ
ON THIS MORNING'S SHOW INCLUDED
AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT A
DISTRIBUTION OF SCHOOL SUPPLIES
THAT IS OCCURRING TODAY.
HERE'S AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT A
FREE SLOPPY JOE LUNCHEON FOR
VETERANS AND HOMELESS.
>> John: EXACTLY.
THAT MAN, WHO LOOKS LIKE
SANTA CLAUS IF HE GOT JUST THE
RIGHT AMOUNT INTO THE
GRATEFUL DEAD, IS COMPLETELY
RIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
HE SHOULD ALSO, BY THE WAY, BE
PUBLIC RADIO'S NEW MASCOT, GIVEN
HE HAS THE QUINTESSENTIAL PUBLIC
RADIO VOICE, BEARD, AND GENERAL
VIBE.
[LAUGHTER]
HONESTLY, IF THE NEXT NPR TOTE
FOR SALE DOESN'T HAVE THAT MAN'S
FACE ON IT, THEY'RE LEAVING
MONEY ON THE TABLE.
[LAUGHTER]
THE POINT IS, PUBLIC MEDIA
PROVIDES INCREDIBLE BENEFITS TO
THE COMMUNITIES THAT IT SERVES,
AND IT'S JUST SUFFERED A
GIGANTIC BLOW.
SO, GIVEN THAT -- TONIGHT, LET'S
TALK ABOUT PUBLIC MEDIA: HOW IT
WORKS, WHAT IT DOES, AND HOW WE
GO FORWARD.
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT
THAT THE SYSTEM AS WE CURRENTLY
KNOW IT STARTED WHEN LBJ SIGNED
THE PUBLIC BROADCASTING ACT OF
1967 INTO LAW, ANNOUNCING IT
LIKE THIS:
>> THIS CORPORATION WILL ASSIST
STATIONS AND PRODUCERS WHO AIM
FOR THE BEST IN BROADCASTING
GOOD MUSIC, IN BROADCASTING
EXCITING PLAYS, AND BROADCASTING
REPORTS ON THE WHOLE FASCINATING
RANGE OF HUMAN ACTIVITY.
IT WILL TRY TO PROVE THAT WHAT
EDUCATES CAN ALSO BE EXCITING.
IT WILL GET PART OF ITS SUPPORT
FROM OUR GOVERNMENT, BUT IT WILL
BE CAREFULLY GUARDED FROM
GOVERNMENT OR FROM PARTY
CONTROL.
IT WILL BE FREE, AND IT WILL BE
INDEPENDENT, AND IT WILL BELONG
TO ALL OF OUR PEOPLE.
>> John: YEAH, THAT WAS A BOLD
MOVE!
THE KIND OF THING THAT TAKES
SOME TRULY ENORMOUS BALLS,
WHICH, AS YOU SHOULD KNOW FROM
RECORDINGS WE'VE PLAYED OF LBJ
COMPLAINING TO THE HEAD OF THE
COMPANY THAT MADE HIS TROUSERS
THAT THE CROTCH DOWN WHERE YOUR
NUTS HANG IS ALWAYS A LITTLE TOO
TIGHT, HE DEFINITELY HAD.
QUICK SIDE NOTE: YOU MAY
REMEMBER, A FEW WEEKS AGO WE HAD
THIS POTENTIALLY LIFE-SIZE
REPLICA OF LBJ'S BALLS MADE, AND
OFFERED THEM TO HIS PRESIDENTIAL
LIBRARY.
WELL, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS AND BAD
NEWS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS WE HEARD FROM
THEM.
THE BAD NEWS IS THEY POLITELY
DECLINED OUR OFFER, BUT, IN
DOING SO, SAID:
"PLEASE ACCEPT THIS BASKET OF
FRUIT AND NUTS AS A TOKEN OF OUR
APPRECIATION FOR ALL YOU DO."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
THIS IS THE BASKET THEY SENT,
WHICH CONTAINED -- AND THIS IS
TRUE -- A VARIETY OF NUTS AND
FRUITS, ALL IN SETS OF TWO,
WHICH IS EXCELLENT.
ANYWAY -- AS LYNDON BALLS
JOHNSON JUST SAID, THAT ONE ACT
AUTHORIZED THE CREATION OF THE
CORPORATION FOR PUBLIC
BROADCASTING, WHICH THEN, IN
TURN, CREATED PBS AND NPR.
BUT THE CPB'S ROLE WASN'T TO
DIRECTLY PRODUCE CONTENT OR
OVERSEE PUBLIC MEDIA AS A STATE
ARM -- IT WAS PRIMARILY TO
DISTRIBUTE FUNDING FOR IT WHILE,
CRUCIALLY, REMAINING INDEPENDENT
OF THE GOVERNMENT.
THAT'S WHY THE CPB'S A PRIVATE
NONPROFIT CORPORATION.
THE ONLY ISSUE IS THAT, DESPITE
NOT BEING A GOVERNMENT AGENCY,
IT'S STILL FUNDED LIKE ONE, AS
ITS FUNDING IS EMBEDDED IN THE
ANNUAL CONGRESSIONAL
APPROPRIATIONS PROCESS.
AND BECAUSE CONGRESS CONTROLS
ITS FUNDING, THAT'S ALWAYS LEFT
THE CPB VULNERABLE TO POLITICAL
ATTACKS.
ALMOST FROM THE START, IT'S BEEN
A PUNCHING BAG FOR REPUBLICANS.
JUST TWO YEARS AFTER IT WAS
CREATED, NIXON PROPOSED SLASHING
ITS FUNDING IN HALF, APPARENTLY
TO HELP MEET THE FINANCIAL
DEMANDS OF THE VIETNAM WAR.
BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE CPB WAS A
BAD USE OF PUBLIC MONEY, UNLIKE,
Y'KNOW, VIETNAM.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S WHAT LED TO A FAMOUS
MOMENT IN A HEARING ABOUT THE
CPB'S FUNDING, WHEN FRED ROGERS
ADDRESSED A SKEPTICAL SENATOR
AND DESCRIBED WHAT HIS SHOW WAS
ALL ABOUT.
>> THIS IS WHAT I GIVE.
I GIVE AN EXPRESSION OF CARE
EVERY DAY TO EACH CHILD TO HELP
HIM REALIZE THAT HE IS UNIQUE.
I END THE PROGRAM BY SAYING,
"YOU'VE MADE THIS DAY A SPECIAL
DAY, BY JUST YOUR BEING YOU.
THERE'S NO PERSON IN THE WHOLE
WORLD LIKE YOU.
AND I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU
ARE."
AND I FEEL THAT, IF WE IN PUBLIC
TELEVISION CAN ONLY MAKE IT
CLEAR THAT FEELINGS ARE
MENTIONABLE AND MANAGEABLE, WE
WILL HAVE DONE A GREAT SERVICE.
>> I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL.
I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL.
LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST EARNED THE
$20 MILLION.
>> John: WOW, THAT IS A TRULY
HEARTWARMING THING THAT WOULD
NEVER, EVER HAPPEN TODAY.
[APPLAUSE]
IF MISTER ROGERS HAD GIVEN THAT
EXACT SAME TESTIMONY THIS YEAR,
TED CRUZ WOULD'VE CALLED HIM A
"RADICAL LEFT LUNATIC," FOX NEWS
WOULD'VE RUN WITH THE HEADLINE
"MISTER ROGERS' SOCIALIST
NEIGHBORHOOD," AND THE
WHITE HOUSE WOULD'VE POSTED AN
AI VIDEO OF PRESIDENT TRUMP
KICKING HIM IN THE BALLS.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WHILE PUBLIC MEDIA'S FUNDING
WAS SAVED ON THAT DAY, IT'S BEEN
THREATENED CONSISTENTLY EVER
SINCE -- USUALLY WITH COMPLAINTS
ABOUT ITS SO-CALLED LIBERAL
BIAS.
>> WHY IS THERE THIS SMALL ELITE
GROUP AT THE CORPORATION FOR
PUBLIC BROADCASTING THAT GETS TO
SPEND MONEY THEY DIDN'T EARN?
WHAT RIGHT DO THEY HAVE TO DOLE
OUT YOUR MONEY?
>> I THINK THE PEOPLE AT PBS SEE
THEMSELVES AS SOCIAL AGENTS.
THEY SEE THEMSELVES AS HAVING
THIS GREAT FORUM, THIS GREAT
PLATFORM TO PUSH WHAT THEY THINK
WILL BE THE GOOD SOCIETY.
>> IT IS BRAINWASHING THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE AND, MORE
SIGNIFICANTLY, AMERICAN CHILDREN
WITH UN-AMERICAN, ANTI-FAMILY,
PRO-CRIME, FAKE NEWS.
>> John: OKAY, SO, A FEW THINGS,
IN ORDER.
FIRST, "WHAT RIGHT DO THEY HAVE
TO SPEND MONEY THEY DIDN'T
EARN?" APPLIES TO LITERALLY ANY
USE OF TAXPAYER MONEY, AND ALSO,
CONGRATULATIONS TO NEWT AND
CALLISTA GINGRICH ON THEIR
DOCUMENTARY,
"JOURNEY TO AMERICA," RELEASED
THIS YEAR, ON -- GUESS WHAT?
PBS.
[LAUGHTER]
SECOND, IF YOU'RE CURIOUS WHY
THIS GUY WAS SPEAKING ON BEHALF
OF A GROUP CALLED
"CONCERNED WOMEN FOR AMERICA,"
SO AM I!
AND, FINALLY, AS FOR
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN'S
COMMENTS, I THINK WE ALL KNOW
WHAT SHE MEANS BY "ANTI-FAMILY,"
BUT I'D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT PBS
PROGRAMMING IS BEING INTERPRETED
AS "PRO-CRIME."
IS IT THE EPISODE OF "ARTHUR"
WHERE THE BRAIN GETS HIMSELF
INTO A "DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE"
SITUATION?
BECAUSE I GUESS YOU COULD ARGUE
IT INSPIRES KIDS TO COMMIT
POTION-FUELED VANDALISM, BUT I
THINK THE ONLY REAL CRIME
INVOLVED IS THAT THIS SONG'S
BEEN LODGED IN MY BRAIN FOR OVER
TWO DECADES:
>> ♪ JEKYLL, JEKYLL, HYDE,
JEKYLL, HYDE, HYDE, JEKYLL ♪
♪ JEYKLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE ♪
♪ JEKYLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE, HYDE, JEKYLL ♪
♪ JEYKLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE ♪
>> John: THAT SONG WILL NOW BE
IN YOUR HEAD UNTIL THE DAY YOU
DIE.
[LAUGHTER]
IT WAS MY CURSE, AND NOW IT IS
YOURS, TOO.
ANYWAY, THAT CLIP IS FROM
EARLIER THIS YEAR, AT A HEARING
GREENE CHAIRED WHERE THE
CEOs OF NPR AND PBS WERE
QUESTIONED ABOUT WHY, IN HER
WORDS, TAXPAYER FUNDS WERE BEING
SPENT ON "LEFT-WING ECHO
CHAMBERS FOR MOSTLY WEALTHY,
WHITE URBAN LIBERALS AND
PROGRESSIVES WHO GENERALLY LOOK
DOWN ON AND JUDGE RURAL
AMERICA."
THE HEARING WAS ABSURD.
AGAIN AND AGAIN, MEMBERS OF
CONGRESS WOULD TAKE A TINY,
OUT-OF-CONTEXT SNIPPET --
SOMETIMES OF SOMETHING THAT
AIRED ON JUST ONE STATION -- AND
DEMAND THAT THE HEADS OF THOSE
ORGANIZATIONS DEFEND THEM.
HERE'S ONE CONGRESSMAN WHO
THOUGHT HE REALLY HAD SOMETHING:
>> DO YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD
PUBLISH SOMETHING THAT CALLS
TREES RACIST?
IS THAT -- IN RETROSPECT, SHOULD
YOU HAVE PUBLISHED THAT?
>> I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU'RE
REFERRING TO, CONGRESSMAN.
>> OH, YOU HAD A SEGMENT THAT
CALLED -- IT WAS CALLED "RACIST
TREES."
AND IT WAS A -- I MEAN, WE'VE
ALREADY REFERENCED IT A NUMBER
OF TIMES.
SO, I MEAN, DO YOU THINK TREES
CAN BE RACIST?
I GUESS THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> I'VE -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF WHAT YOU'RE
REFERRING TO.
>> John: WELL, I HAVE!
BECAUSE WE LOOKED IT UP, AND IT
TURNS OUT IT WASN'T A SEGMENT
ABOUT HOW TREES ARE RACIST.
IT WAS THIS DOCUMENTARY TELLING
THE STORY OF A HISTORICALLY
BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD IN
PALM SPRINGS, AND THEIR
DECADES-LONG FIGHT FOR THE
REMOVAL OF A WALL OF TREES THAT
MANY BELIEVED WERE ORIGINALLY
PLANTED AS A TOTEM OF
SEGREGATION.
SO I GUESS I'D ANSWER HIS
QUESTION OF "DO YOU THINK TREES
CAN BE RACIST?" WITH A QUESTION
OF MY OWN.
SPECIFICALLY, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT THE TITLES OF MOVIES ARE
NOT ALWAYS 100% LITERAL?"
[LAUGHTER]
"THE SHINING" IS NOT ABOUT A
SUCCESSFUL SHOE POLISHING
BUSINESS, AND
"THE WOLF OF WALL STREET" ISN'T
ABOUT AN ACTUAL WOLF WITH A
SUCCESSFUL INVESTMENT STRATEGY.
NOW, SHOULD IT HAVE BEEN?
ABSOLUTELY.
BUT, SADLY, IT WASN'T.
[LAUGHTER]
AND, LOOK, THERE CAN BE A
GOOD-FAITH DEBATE OVER BIAS IN
THE MEDIA, LIBERAL OR OTHERWISE.
BUT I'LL POINT OUT THAT, A LOT
OF THE TIME, WHAT CONSERVATIVES
CLAIM AS "LIBERAL BIAS" IS OFTEN
JUST THINGS LIKE SHOWING THERE'S
A LONG HISTORY OF RACISM IN
AMERICA, OR THAT GAY PEOPLE
EXIST, MAKING IT HARD TO
INTERPRET THOSE CRITICISMS AS
ANYTHING OTHER THAN BIGOTRY.
AND YET, ARGUMENTS LIKE THOSE
JUST GOT USED TO JUSTIFY ZEROING
OUT THE ENTIRE BUDGET OF THE
CPB.
WHICH ISN'T JUST STUPID -- IN
MANY PLACES, IT'LL ACTUALLY HAVE
THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE
INTENDED EFFECT.
AND TO UNDERSTAND WHY, IT'S
WORTH TALKING ABOUT WHERE ALL
THOSE FEDERAL DOLLARS WENT.
BECAUSE WHILE SOME OF THE CPB'S
FUNDING DID GO DIRECTLY TO PBS
AND NPR AT THE NATIONAL LEVEL,
THE VAST MAJORITY -- MORE THAN
70% -- WENT DIRECTLY TO LOCAL
PUBLIC RADIO AND TELEVISION
STATIONS, WHO USED IT TO DO
THINGS LIKE PRODUCE LOCAL
PROGRAMS, PURCHASE EQUIPMENT,
AND ACQUIRE NATIONAL
PROGRAMMING, LIKE
"ALL THINGS CONSIDERED" AND THE
"PBS NEWSHOUR."
AND FOR MANY STATIONS, THAT WAS
JUST ONE WAY THEY GOT FUNDED.
BECAUSE NONE RELIED COMPLETELY
ON THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT -- IN
FACT, ONE SURVEY FOUND THAT ON
AVERAGE, LOCAL PUBLIC TV
STATIONS RELIED ON FEDERAL
FUNDING FOR 18% OF THEIR
BUDGETS, WITH RADIO STATIONS
HAVING AN AVERAGE RELIANCE OF
AROUND 14%.
AND A BIG WAY THEY'VE ALWAYS
MADE UP THE DIFFERENCE IS
THROUGH -- AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY
KNOW -- VIEWERS OR LISTENERS
LIKE YOU.
THAT'S WHY SO MANY STATIONS SEEM
TO BE CONSTANTLY RUNNING PLEDGE
DRIVES.
JUST TAKE THIS ONE FROM
WASHINGTON STATE, IN 1999,
FEATURING A CERTAIN FORMER
COSTAR OF MINE.
>> PLEASE CALL IN AT
1-800-443-1999 AND SUBSCRIBE,
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET
PROGRAMMING LIKE "MR. BEAN," YOU
CAN'T GET PROGRAMMING LIKE
"RED DWARF" ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT
FOR CHANNEL 9.
AS YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN TONIGHT,
BRITISH COMEDY IS SO AMAZING,
AND YOU CAN'T GET THAT ON ANY
OTHER CHANNEL, PRACTICALLY, AND
IT'S SO WONDERFUL THAT CHANNEL 9
CAN BRING THIS TO YOU.
ROWAN ATKINSON IS A GENIUS, AND
IT'S JUST SO GREAT THAT WE CAN
BRING YOU ALL THE EPISODES IN
ONE ENTIRE NIGHT.
"MR. BEAN" IS A PHENOMENAL
TELEVISION PROGRAM IN BRITAIN.
AND YOU ASKED FOR IT TO BE HERE
IN WASHINGTON, AND YOU GET AN
ENTIRE EVENING OF IT, AND IT'S
JUST WONDERFUL.
I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU HOW I AM
SO EXCITED ABOUT "MR. BEAN" AND
THINGS LIKE "BLACKADDER," AND
"RED DWARF," AND BRITISH COMEDY
BROUGHT TO YOU ON CHANNEL 9.
SO, PLEASE CALL.
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S A YOUNG
JOEL McHALE, GOING ALL OUT TO
RAISE MONEY FOR HIS LOCAL PBS
STATION.
AND HE WAS GOING IN HARD ON THE
"MR. BEAN" ELEMENT THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
THOSE CLIPS GO FROM "WOW, JOEL
REALLY LIKES MR. BEAN," TO,
"WAIT, DID MR. BEAN SAY HE'S
GOING TO PAY HIM?" TO,
"DID MR. BEAN SAY HE'S GOING TO
KILL HIM?"
[LAUGHTER]
THE POINT IS, SOME LOCAL
STATIONS HEAVILY DEPEND ON
DONATIONS TO GET BY, AND A LOT
ARE OPERATING ON A SHOESTRING TO
BEGIN WITH, LIKE THIS ONE IN
LOUISIANA.
>> Reporter: BEFORE THE SUN
COMES UP...
>> ALARM WENT OFF AT 4:00 IN THE
MORNING.
>> GOT HERE AT 5:30?
>> Reporter: JEFF FERRELL TURNS
ON THE LIGHTS AT THE ONLY NPR
NEWS RADIO STATION IN
SHREVEPORT, LOUISIANA.
>> PARTLY CLOUDY AND 73.
>> Reporter: FERRELL IS THE ONLY
FULL-TIME NEWS EMPLOYEE AT RED
RIVER RADIO.
HE'S THE NEWS DIRECTOR, ON-AIR
HOST...
>> THE TIME IS NOW 8:04.
>> Reporter: FIELD PRODUCER...
>> HOW MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE --
>> Reporter: WRITER...
>> YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE
MARKET.
>> Reporter: AND SOUND EDITOR.
15-HOUR DAYS COVERING NEWS IN
THREE STATES.
>> DO I REST FOR A SECOND?
YEAH, I'LL TAKE A QUICK, LIKE,
15-MINUTE PAUSE AND THEN
RECHARGE.
>> SO YOU SLEEP IN YOUR OFFICE?
>> SOMETIMES.
>> John: HOLY SHIT.
THE ONLY THING MORE ALARMING
THAN THAT MAN'S WORKLOAD IS THE
WAY HE BRIEFLY DISSOCIATED
BEFORE SAYING "SOMETIMES."
[LAUGHTER]
THAT WAS EITHER AN EXISTENTIAL
CRY FOR HELP, OR HE JUST FIGURED
OUT HOW TO MICRO-NAP IN THE
MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT HAVING A TINY STAFF IS NOT
UNCOMMON, AND IN SOME PARTS OF
THE COUNTRY -- PARTICULARLY LESS
AFFLUENT OR MORE RURAL AREAS --
STATIONS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO
RAISE WHAT THEY NEED THROUGH
THEIR COMMUNITIES, SO THEY'VE
RELIED MORE HEAVILY ON FEDERAL
FUNDING.
REMEMBER HOW I SAID STATIONS
RELIED ON IT FOR AROUND 14-18%
OF THEIR BUDGETS?
THAT'S AN AVERAGE.
FOR SOME, IT'S BEEN MUCH MORE.
BECAUSE WHILE WNYC, NEW YORK'S
PUBLIC RADIO STATION, LOST ABOUT
4% OF ITS ANNUAL BUDGET WHEN THE
CPB GOT CUT, KLND IN McLAUGHLIN,
SOUTH DAKOTA, LOST 50%, AND
KSHI ON THE ZUNI PUEBLO IN
NEW MEXICO LOST 96%.
AND WHEN BUDGETS GET SLASHED,
ONE WAY AN OUTLET CAN CUT COSTS
IS BY PRODUCING LESS LOCAL
REPORTING, AND RELYING MORE ON
CONTENT THEY LICENSE FROM NPR
AND PBS AT THE NATIONAL LEVEL.
SO WHILE I PERSONALLY THINK
GREENE'S CARICATURE OF THEM
PUMPING OUT "UN-AMERICAN
PROGRAMMING" THAT DOESN'T
REFLECT COMMUNITY VALUES IS
TOTAL BULLSHIT, THE IRONY IS,
THE MORE LOCAL STATIONS' BUDGETS
ARE SLASHED, THE MORE THEY MAY
COME TO RELY ON PROGRAMMING
PRODUCED IN THOSE "URBAN ECHO
CHAMBERS."
AS THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF A
STATION IN CALIFORNIA SAID,
"THE LOCAL STUFF THAT'S SO
IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE IS PROBABLY
THE STUFF THAT'LL GO AWAY."
AND IT IS WORTH TALKING ABOUT
WHAT SOME OF THAT LOCAL STUFF
IS, BECAUSE IT CAN BE WOVEN INTO
PEOPLE'S LIVES IN ALL SORTS OF
WAYS.
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS, FOR
INSTANCE, HAVE BECOME SOME OF
THE MOST POPULAR LOCAL PROGRAMS
ON PBS STATIONS, WITH THE FORMER
CEO OF ARKANSAS PBS SAYING IT'S
ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT
EVERYBODY LOVES, BUT ISN'T
NECESSARILY A MONEYMAKING
VENTURE, SO COMMERCIAL NETWORKS
AREN'T GOING TO REALLY COMMIT TO
HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS.
OTHER AREAS USE PUBLIC MEDIA IN
QUIRKY WAYS.
IN RURAL NORTHERN CALIFORNIA,
THIS STATION HAS A REGULAR
SEGMENT CALLED "TRADING TIME,"
WHERE PEOPLE CALL IN TO OFFER
ITEMS TO SELL, TRADE, OR GIVE
AWAY.
AND DURING PLEDGE-DRIVE SEASON,
CALLERS WILL SOMETIMES EVEN
CONTRIBUTE THE PROCEEDS BACK TO
THE STATION, LEADING TO
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OFFERS LIKE
THIS ONE:
>> GOOD MORNING.
WE HAVE A BIDET THAT'S -- WE
JUST REMODELED A BATHROOM, TOOK
OUT THE BIDET THAT WE WEREN'T
USING.
IT'S IN EXCELLENT CONDITION.
IT'S A KOHLER.
AND IF YOU GO TO GET ONE NEW,
THEY'RE LIKE $300 OR $400, BUT
WE WILL SELL THIS ONE FOR $50 OR
BEST OFFER AND DONATE ALL THE
MONEY TO THE PLEDGE DRIVE.
>> OKAY.
SO IT'S A GOOD DAY FOR A BIDET.
JOHN IN MENDO'S GOT ONE FOR YOU.
IF YOU BUY IT, $50 OR BEST
OFFER, HE'S GOING TO DONATE THAT
RIGHT TO THE STATION.
>> WONDERFUL.
>> John: YEAH, IT IS WONDERFUL!
IT'S ALSO -- LET'S BE HONEST --
SUPER WEIRD!
THE SADDEST SIX-WORD STORY MAY
BE "FOR SALE: BABY SHOES, NEVER
WORN," BUT THE WEIRDEST ONE IS
"FOR SALE: USED BIDET, FOR
CHARITY."
[LAUGHTER]
AND IF YOU, LIKE ME, THOUGHT
THAT WAS ANOTHER ARTIFACT OF THE
'90s, YOU SHOULD KNOW, IT'S FROM
THREE WEEKS AGO.
AND IT'S GREAT TO KNOW THAT
PUBLIC RADIO CAN STILL BE A
RESOURCE FOR BIDET-RELATED NEWS
AND DISCUSSION.
ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THE ONLY
PLACE TO GO FOR THAT WAS THE
BIDETS SUBREDDIT, WHERE YOU CAN
FIND POSTS LIKE "I DIDN'T BUY A
BIDET, I BOUGHT AN AMUSEMENT
PARK RIDE FOR MY BUTT,"
"HAVING A BIDET AT HOME HAS
REALLY RUINED THE ALLURE OF
POOPING AT WORK,"
"MY BIDET KEEPS SPLASHING INTO
MY BALLS," AND THIS SIMILAR
POST, "HUSBAND'S CHESTNUTS
GETTING BUSTED IN CANADA," WHICH
GOES ON TO SAY, "HUSBAND'S
HONEYNUTS GETTING BRUTALIZED BY
THE BIDET.
GENTLEMEN, HELP HIM.
CANADIAN CANTALOUPES ARE
COMPROMISED."
[LAUGHTER]
BUT OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT ALL HIGH
SCHOOL SPORTS AND BIDETS.
IN SOME PLACES, PUBLIC MEDIA'S
THE ONLY SOURCE OF LOCAL NEWS.
ACCORDING TO ONE ANALYSIS, IN
NINE COUNTIES, A PUBLIC
BROADCASTING STATION IS THE SOLE
SOURCE OF LOCAL NEWS COVERAGE.
AND IN 47 OTHERS, IT'S ONE OF
ONLY TWO, WITH THE OTHER
TYPICALLY BEING A WEEKLY
NEWSPAPER.
AND LOCAL PUBLIC MEDIA'S SCORED
SOME AMAZING SCOOPS.
TO RATTLE OFF JUST A FEW:
IN WEST VIRGINIA, THESE OUTLETS
UNCOVERED THE FACT THAT
BOB MURRAY, FRIEND OF THE POD,
FOUGHT AGAINST BLACK LUNG
REGULATIONS AND THEN FILED FOR
BLACK LUNG BENEFITS FOR HIMSELF.
WHICH IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF
BEHAVIOR THAT MIGHT LEAD SOMEONE
TO TELL YOU TO GO EAT SHIT.
IN ALASKA, KTOO BROKE THE STORY
OF A MASSIVE FOOD STAMP BACKLOG
AFFECTING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE,
WITH THE ALASKA PRESS CLUB LATER
WRITING THAT IT WAS THE
REPORTER'S COMMUNITY-BASED
REPORTING AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH
SOURCES THAT BROUGHT LIGHT TO A
STATE PROBLEM THAT AFFECTED
THOUSANDS OF ALASKANS WHOSE
VOICES NEEDED TO BE HEARD.
AND A REPORTER AT THIS PUBLIC
RADIO STATION IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
PRODUCED BOTH A MASSIVE
INVESTIGATION AND THIS PODCAST
ABOUT SEXUAL MISCONDUCT AT THE
LARGEST ADDICTION TREATMENT
CENTER IN THE STATE.
AND SHE KEPT AT THAT REPORTING
EVEN AS THE TARGET OF HER
INVESTIGATION SUED HER AND HER
STATION, AND AS HER HOUSE AND
THOSE OF HER PARENTS AND HER
BOSS WERE VANDALIZED, SOMETHING
SHE LATER EXPLAINED TO HER
PUBLIC TV STATION.
>> MY HUSBAND CHECKS OUR
SECURITY CAMERAS AND, SURE
ENOUGH, A BRICK HAD BEEN THROWN
THROUGH THE WINDOW AND THE WORDS
"JUST THE BEGINNING" WERE
SPRAY-PAINTED, EXCLAMATION
POINT, UNDER THE BROKEN WINDOW.
>> YOU HAVE A YOUNG DAUGHTER.
WAS THERE A POINT WHERE YOU
THOUGHT, MAYBE I WILL NOT BE
CONTINUING THIS?
DID IT MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT
DROPPING THIS AND NOT CONTINUING
TO WORK ON IT?
>> YOU KNOW, I NEVER CONSIDERED
STOPPING.
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S INCREDIBLY
BRAVE, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I'M
ASSUMING THAT MESSAGE DIDN'T
CONTINUE, "JUST THE BEGINNING
OF A STORIED CAREER IN
INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
P.S., THE BRICK IS MADE OF
CHOCOLATE!"
[LAUGHTER]
THE POINT IS, LOCAL PUBLIC
MEDIA'S FILLED WITH IMPRESSIVE
REPORTING LIKE THAT.
IN FACT, WE'VE RELIED ON IT ON
THIS SHOW, IN PIECES WE'VE DONE
ABOUT HOAs, JUVENILE JUSTICE,
AND IN OUR FIRST AND SECOND
LETHAL INJECTIONS STORIES.
AND IF YOU'RE HEARING THOSE AND
THINKING, "MAN, THIS SHOW IS
MORE DEPRESSING THAN I
REMEMBERED," GIRL, SAME.
[LAUGHTER]
AND AS THIS MANAGER FOR A TRIBAL
STATION IN OREGON EXPLAINS, IF
BUDGET CUTS MEAN SHE CAN'T
AFFORD TO BROADCAST NEWS TO HER
LISTENERS, THAT'S GONNA BE A
PROBLEM NOT JUST FOR HER
STATION, BUT FOR EVERYONE.
>> WE DO OUR OWN LOCAL NEWSCASTS
AND WE CAN COVER WARM SPRINGS
BETTER THAN ANYBODY.
UM, MAINSTREAM MEDIA DOESN'T
NECESSARILY SHOW UP UNLESS
SOMETHING VERY BAD HAS HAPPENED.
>> Reporter: SHE'LL HAVE TO MAKE
CUTS, AND SHE EXPECTS TO LOSE
ACCESS TO NATIONAL NEWS AND
TRIBAL NETWORKS.
>> "NATIVE AMERICA CALLING" AND
"NATIONAL NATIVE NEWS," AND
THOSE ARE PROGRAMS THAT PEOPLE
HERE LOVE AND TUNE IN FOR LIKE
EVERY DAY AT 10:00.
>> Reporter: LEAVING THE HIGH
DESERT AT RISK OF BECOMING A
NEWS DESERT.
>> THERE'LL BE, LIKE, A VOID
WHERE PROBABLY INCORRECT
INFORMATION WILL GROW.
>> John: EXACTLY.
AND YES, I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU
HEAR "VOID WHERE INCORRECT
INFORMATION WILL GROW," YOU
IMMEDIATELY THINK OF WHATEVER
INFINITE CHASM IS BEHIND
MEGYN KELLY'S EYES.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, IN THIS CASE, IT MEANS
SOMETHING ELSE.
AND EVEN BEYOND NEWS, PUBLIC
MEDIA CAN BE HOW CRITICAL
INFORMATION GETS DISSEMINATED.
IN COMMUNITIES WITH LIMITED
BROADBAND OR CELL SERVICE,
PUBLIC RADIO MAY BE THE ONLY WAY
TO DISTRIBUTE MISSING AND
ENDANGERED PERSONS ALERTS.
IT CAN ALSO BE CRUCIAL DURING AN
EMERGENCY LIKE A HURRICANE.
REMEMBER THAT STATION WHERE
ONE GUY'S THE ONLY FULL-TIME
NEWS EMPLOYEE?
IF IT GOES AWAY, A LOT GOES WITH
IT.
>> Reporter: ABOUT 19% OF
LOUISIANA LIVES IN POVERTY, AND
15% DON'T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS,
ACCORDING TO THE U.S. CENSUS.
>> YOU CAN'T AFFORD SATELLITE
TV.
YOU CAN'T BUY CABLE.
AND THEY'RE ALONE.
AND SO IT IS A LIFELINE.
AND WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT THIS IS
THAT THEY FEEL CONNECTED.
THEY STAY CONNECTED TO THE
WORLD.
>> Reporter: THESE RADIO
EMERGENCY ALERTS ARE VITAL
DURING HURRICANE SEASON, WARNING
FOLKS WHERE AND WHEN STORMS WILL
HIT.
>> PUBLIC RADIO SAVES LIVES.
THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.
WITHOUT IT, PEOPLE WOULD DIE.
>> John: RIGHT.
WITHOUT THEIR EMERGENCY
BROADCAST SYSTEM, PEOPLE WOULD
DIE.
IF YOU TAKE ONE THING AWAY FROM
THIS PIECE, IT REALLY SHOULD BE
THAT -- EVEN THOUGH,
UNFORTUNATELY, IT'LL PROBABLY BE
THIS INSTEAD:
>> ♪ JEKYLL, JEKYLL, HYDE,
JEKYLL, HYDE, HYDE, JEKYLL ♪
♪ JEYKLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE ♪
♪ JEKYLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE, HYDE, JEKYLL ♪
♪ JEYKLL, JEKYLL, HYDE, JEKYLL,
HYDE ♪
>> John: THIS IS NEVER LEAVING
YOUR BRAIN.
IT IS TATTOOED ONTO YOUR
EARDRUMS.
IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
SOME STATIONS HAVE ALSO JUMPED
IN TO SERVE THEIR LISTENERS,
EVEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT PREPARED
TO.
TAKE BLUE RIDGE PUBLIC RADIO IN
NORTH CAROLINA, WHICH HAD TO
PIVOT INTO EMERGENCY ALERTS
DURING HURRICANE HELENE LAST
YEAR, WHEN ITS SMALL STAFF OF
SEVEN DIDN'T JUST REPORT THROUGH
THE STORM AND IMMEDIATE
AFTERMATH, BUT THEY ALSO KEPT
WORKING THROUGH A 53-DAY STRETCH
WHERE LOCALS DIDN'T HAVE ACCESS
TO CLEAN WATER.
AND IF YOU HEAR THE MESSAGES
THEY GOT FROM LISTENERS
AFTERWARDS, YOU GET A PICTURE OF
JUST HOW MUCH THEIR WORK MEANT
TO PEOPLE.
>> YOU GUYS WERE WONDERFUL, AND
YOU SUSTAINED ME.
I WAS ISOLATED ON A
MOUNTAINSIDE.
>> MY WIFE AND I ARE SO THANKFUL
FOR YOUR CONSTANT PRESENCE
DURING THIS CRISIS.
KEEP IT UP.
WE LOVE YOU.
>> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR
BEING THERE.
IT'S JUST GOING TO MAKE ME CRY,
BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY SOURCE
OF INFORMATION THAT WE'VE HAD.
THANK YOU.
BYE-BYE.
>> John: YEAH, THAT'S INCREDIBLY
MOVING.
HONESTLY, I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING
TO CRY, AND I HAVEN'T CRIED AT A
RADIO SEGMENT SINCE THAT TIME I
HEARD ABOUT A
NEAR-MINT-CONDITION KOHLER BIDET
BEING SOLD FOR THE LOW, LOW
PRICE OF $50.
[LAUGHTER]
SO THAT'S WHAT'S AT STAKE HERE.
AND WHILE SOME MIGHT SUGGEST
THAT "THE FREE MARKET" WILL FILL
IN THE GAPS -- IN MANY CASES,
THESE STATIONS ONLY EXIST
BECAUSE THE FREE MARKET HAS
SHOWN IT WON'T.
BECAUSE, UNFORTUNATELY, IT MAY
WELL NOT FIND VALUE IN LOCALIZED
EMERGENCY ALERTS DURING
HURRICANES, OR ANNOUNCING FREE
SLOPPY JOES FOR VETERANS, OR
EVEN IN POCKET SQUIRRELS.
WHICH IS MADNESS, GIVEN THEY
SHOULD CLEARLY BE THE MOST
VALUABLE COMMODITY ON THE
FUCKING PLANET.
AS THE GENERAL MANAGER OF
BLUE RIDGE PUBLIC RADIO TOLD ONE
REPORTER: "'NBC NIGHTLY NEWS'
CAN SHOW YOU PICTURES OF
DEVASTATING FLOODING, BUT THEY
DON'T TELL LOCALS WHERE TO GET
FRESH WATER.
NBC NEWS IS NOT FOR THAT."
AND SHE'S RIGHT.
NBC ISN'T FOCUSED ON EMERGENCY
INFORMATION ON THE LOCAL LEVEL.
IT'S CLEARLY FOCUSED ON ONE
THING AND ONE THING ONLY:
KEEPING LORNE MICHAELS ALIVE.
[LAUGHTER]
AND, FRANKLY, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A
BIT WEIRD HOW LITTLE WE FUND
PUBLIC MEDIA, GIVEN HOW VITAL IT
CAN BE.
BECAUSE, TO BE CLEAR: U.S.
PUBLIC MEDIA IS A GLOBAL OUTLIER
IN HOW LITTLE FEDERAL FUNDING IT
RECEIVES.
EVEN BEFORE THESE CUTS, FEDERAL
SPENDING AMOUNTED TO LESS THAN
$1.60 PER CAPITA ON IT, COMPARED
TO COUNTRIES LIKE NORWAY, SWEDEN
AND THE U.K., WHICH DEVOTE
NEARLY $100 OR MORE.
AND RESEARCH SHOWS A POSITIVE
CORRELATION BETWEEN THE STRENGTH
OF PUBLIC MEDIA SYSTEMS AND THE
HEALTH OF DEMOCRACIES.
AND, GIVEN THE HEALTH OF OUR
DEMOCRACY IS CURRENTLY BEST
DESCRIBED AS "THAT ONE PHOTO OF
PRINCE PHILIP WHERE HE WAS IN
THE CAR," WE COULD USE ALL THE
PUBLIC MEDIA FUNDING WE CAN GET
RIGHT NOW.
SO, WHAT CAN WE DO?
WELL, IN A UNIVERSE IN WHICH A
COMPETENT, EFFECTIVE GOVERNMENT
WERE IN PLACE, WE'D IDEALLY WORK
ON A LONG-TERM FIX FOR THE WAY
THE CPB'S FUNDED, AND INSTEAD OF
GIVING CONGRESS THE POWER TO
TAKE ITS MONEY AWAY EVERY TWO
YEARS, WE'D INSTITUTE SOME KIND
OF TAX OR LICENSING FEE THAT
COULD RELIABLY FUND IT.
THAT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE HAVE
BEEN RECOMMENDING SINCE THE CPB
WAS FIRST CREATED.
SADLY, WE DON'T LIVE IN THAT
UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW, AND UNTIL WE
DO, PUBLIC MEDIA'S IN A DIRE
SITUATION.
FORTUNATELY, THERE'S BEEN A BIG
PUBLIC PUSH RECENTLY TO RAISE
MONEY TO SUPPORT HARD-HIT
STATIONS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
A NONPROFIT CALLED THE PUBLIC
MEDIA COMPANY HAS LAUNCHED AN
INITIATIVE CALLED THE BRIDGE
FUND, TO COLLECT AND DISTRIBUTE
FUNDING TO AT-RISK LOCAL PUBLIC
MEDIA STATIONS.
AND IF YOU WANT TO GIVE TO ONE
DIRECTLY, YOU CAN FIND THE
STATIONS MOST IN NEED AT
AdoptAStation.org.
MEANWHILE, OTHERS ARE FINDING
IMAGINATIVE WAYS TO RAISE MONEY,
INCLUDING, JUST THIS WEEK, THIS:
>> WHO DOESN'T LOVE BOB ROSS,
RIGHT?
THREE ORIGINAL PAINTINGS BY THE
RENOWNED TV ARTIST HAVE FETCHED
A TOTAL OF $662,000 AT AUCTION.
PROCEEDS OF THE SALE WILL
SUPPORT PUBLIC TV STATIONS WHICH
NEED IT AFTER RECENT FEDERAL
FUNDING CUTS.
>> John: IT'S TRUE --
APPARENTLY, BOB ROSS INC. PUT
THESE PAINTINGS UP FOR AUCTION,
TO RAISE MONEY.
AND THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY
BEAUTIFUL.
LOOK, I'M NO ART CONNOISSEUR --
MY LIKING A PAINTING OFTEN COMES
DOWN TO WHETHER OR NOT IT
FEATURES CARTOON RATS GETTING IT
ON.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, IN THIS CASE, I'LL HAPPILY
MAKE AN EXCEPTION.
NOW, I'LL BE HONEST, WE ACTUALLY
BID ON THOSE PAINTINGS, TRYING
TO WIN ONE SO THAT WE COULD
RE-AUCTION IT TONIGHT TO BENEFIT
PUBLIC MEDIA.
SADLY, THOSE PRICES WERE OUTSIDE
OUR BUDGET.
SO WE ASKED THE PEOPLE AT
BOB ROSS INC. IF THEY'D DONATE
ANOTHER ONE FOR US TO AUCTION,
AND THEY SAID, VERY KINDLY,
THAT'S JUST NOT SOMETHING THEY
DO.
OTHERWISE, EVERYONE WOULD ASK
THEM ALL THE TIME, AND THEY'D
HAVE NO PAINTINGS LEFT.
WHICH DOES MAKE SENSE.
BUT THEN WE REMEMBERED: WE'VE
ACTUALLY ACCUMULATED A BUNCH OF
WEIRD ARTIFACTS ON THIS SHOW
OVER THE YEARS THAT WE COULD
DEFINITELY AUCTION OFF TO RAISE
SOME MUCH-NEEDED MONEY.
SO PLEASE, COME WITH ME...
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WELCOME!
I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE "LAST WEEK
TONIGHT'S" FIRST-EVER AUCTION IN
AID OF PUBLIC MEDIA.
THIS IS REAL.
IT'LL BE RUNNING THROUGH
NOVEMBER 24TH, AND YOU CAN BID
AT THE WEBSITE
JohnOliversJunk.com, WHICH WAS
INEXPLICABLY AVAILABLE.
WE HAVE LOTS OF FANTASTIC ITEMS
UP FOR SALE.
HERE'S JUST A SELECTED FEW.
OUR FIRST ITEM'S ACTUALLY BEEN
AUCTIONED OFF BEFORE.
BECAUSE, YOU MAY REMEMBER, WE
ONCE BOUGHT RUSSELL CROWE'S
JOCKSTRAP FROM "CINDERELLA MAN,"
WHEN HE HELD A, QUOTE,
"ART OF DIVORCE AUCTION."
HE THEN USED THE PROCEEDS TO
FUND A KOALA CHLAMYDIA WARD IN
AUSTRALIA IN MY NAME.
WELL, I'M NOW HAPPY TO SAY THIS
LIFE-SAVING JOCKSTRAP CAN BE
YOURS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HERE IT IS.
IT'S A PRICELESS PIECE OF
CINEMATIC HISTORY, AND IT'S
SAVED COUNTLESS KOALAS.
MOVING ON TO ITEM NUMBER TWO:
BACK IN SEASON 9, YOU MAY
REMEMBER THAT I MARRIED A
CABBAGE IN A BEAUTIFUL
NON-DENOMINATIONAL CEREMONY
OFFICIATED BY STEVE BUSCEMI.
WELL -- AND THERE'S NO GOOD WAY
TO SAY THIS -- MY CABBAGE WIFE
IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE TO THE
HIGHEST BIDDER, NO QUESTIONS
ASKED.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AS MUCH AS IT HURTS FOR US TO
SPLIT, WE'RE DOING IT FOR THE
GREATER GOOD.
BIDDING FOR HER IS NOW OPEN.
MOVING ON TO ITEM NUMBER THREE.
AND, AS I MENTIONED EARLIER,
THESE WERE FEATURED ON OUR SHOW
PRETTY RECENTLY.
LBJ'S GIANT BALLS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JUST LOOK AT THESE GLORIOUS
MONSTROSITIES!
IF LBJ'S PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY
DOESN'T HAVE A HOME FOR THEM,
MAYBE YOU DO.
BECAUSE THESE THINGS COULD BE A
REAL CONVERSATION PIECE FOR YOUR
LIVING ROOM, BEDROOM, STUDIO
APARTMENT, OR NURSERY.
[LAUGHTER]
AND, IN KEEPING WITH THE
PRESIDENTIAL THEME, WE'RE ALSO
AUCTIONING OFF OUR WAX
PRESIDENTS, WHICH WE BOUGHT AT
AN AUCTION IN GETTYSBURG,
PENNSYLVANIA, AND PUT IN MOVIE
PARODIES WITH, AMONG OTHERS,
LAURA LINNEY AND TOM HANKS.
BUT WAIT, BECAUSE I'M STILL NOT
DONE -- AND TO TELL YOU ABOUT
SOME OTHER ITEMS UP FOR AUCTION,
HERE'S A MAN WITH DECADES OF
EXPERIENCE FUNDRAISING FOR
PUBLIC TELEVISION,
MR. JOEL McHALE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> THANKS, JOHN.
AS YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT, PUBLIC
MEDIA IS SO AMAZING.
I LOVE IT ALMOST AS MUCH AS I
LOVE BRITISH COMEDY.
WHICH IS SO AMAZING.
ROWAN ATKINSON IS A GENIUS, AND
ANYONE WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD
REPLACE HIM AS ZAZU IN
"THE LION KING" IS OUT OF THEIR
FUCKING MIND.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT MOVIE WAS RUINED WITHOUT
HIM.
ANYWAY, I'M SO EXCITED TO TELL
YOU ABOUT SOME OF THESE ITEMS,
INCLUDING THESE GOLDEN SNEAKERS,
WORN BY BRITISH COMEDIAN
JOHN OLIVER IN A SHOW ABOUT FIFA
THAT, JUDGING BY THIS, AIRED
AROUND 25 YEARS AGO.
[APPLAUSE]
SO AMAZING.
AND BECAUSE NO PUBLIC MEDIA
FUNDRAISER IS COMPLETE WITHOUT
IT, WE'RE ALSO AUCTIONING OFF A
BIDET, SIGNED BY -- AND THIS IS
TRUE -- THE BERSERKER BLÖTHAR
FROM GWAR.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
SO AMAZING.
AND, FINALLY -- AND THIS IS MY
FAVORITE ITEM -- I THINK
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW EXCITED I AM
ABOUT ROWAN ATKINSON, THE NUMBER
ONE BRITISH COMEDIAN OF ALL
TIME.
SO WE ARE AUCTIONING OFF THE
COMPLETE DVD BOX SET OF
"MR. BEAN," SIGNED BY ME, SIR
JOEL McHALE.
BACK TO YOU, SETH!
>> John: THANKS, JOEL!
ALL THOSE ITEMS AND MORE ARE
AVAILABLE AT JohnOliversJunk.com
WITH ALL PROCEEDS GOING TO THE
PUBLIC MEDIA BRIDGE FUND.
BUT WAIT -- THERE'S ACTUALLY ONE
MORE THING.
BECAUSE REMEMBER WHEN I SAID
THAT BOB ROSS INC. NEVER LETS
PEOPLE HAVE PAINTINGS TO SELL?
THAT'S TRUE.
THEY NEVER DO.
EXCEPT, INCREDIBLY, THEY'VE TOLD
US THEY'RE WILLING TO MAKE A
ONE-TIME EXCEPTION FOR THIS
AUCTION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO WE HAVE THIS ACTUAL BOB ROSS
ORIGINAL, UP FOR SALE.
IT'S CALLED "CABIN AT SUNSET,"
HE PAINTED IT ON TV IN 1987, AND
IT'S BEEN IN STORAGE FOR NEARLY
40 YEARS.
IT'S A TRUE MASTERPIECE PAINTED
BY A MAN AND, I'M JUST GOING TO
ASSUME, HIS POCKET SQUIRREL,
PEAPOD.
YOU CAN FIND THIS PAINTING AND
MANY, MANY OTHER ITEMS -- FROM A
CASE OF JOHN OLIVER WINE, TO OUR
GIANT REESE'S MUG -- AS WELL AS
A LINK TO FIND STATIONS TO
DONATE TO DIRECTLY, AT
JohnOliversJunk.com.
THAT'S IT!
THAT'S OUR SHOW, AND INDEED OUR
SEASON.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING ALL
YEAR.
WE TRULY APPRECIATE IT.
WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN FEBRUARY.
GOOD NIGHT!
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
BID RIGHT NOW.
I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH.
YOU'RE GOING TO A BETTER PLACE.