WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME, TO
"LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANKS FOR JOINING US.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK!
THE SOUTHEAST CONTINUED ITS
RECOVERY FROM HELENE,
PORT WORKERS BRIEFLY WENT ON
STRIKE, AND THE MIDDLE EAST
INCHED CLOSER TO ALL-OUT WAR,
SOMETHING ONE LOCAL STATION
TRIED TO FOLD INTO ITS
BROADCAST, WITH MIXED RESULTS.
ALL RIGHT, SOME BREAKING
NEWS.
IRAN HAS LAUNCHED A MISSILE
ATTACK AGAINST ISRAEL.
THE U.S. OFFICIALLY HAD WARNED
IRAN EARLIER TO NOT LAUNCH ANY
MISSILES OR ELSE THERE COULD BE
SEVERE CONSEQUENCES.
AGAIN, WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE
TO GATHER MORE INFORMATION AND
FOLLOW THIS AND PROVIDE THAT FOR
YOU AS SOON AS WE GET IT.
ALSO, SWITCHING GEARS HERE
NOW, TODAY, NATIONAL TACO DAY,
FALLS ON THE FIRST TUESDAY OF
OCTOBER.
YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS.
TAMARA BERG RECENTLY COMPETED IN
A TACO EATING CONTEST--
OH, WOW.
AT JIMBOY'S TACOS.
YEAH, YOU REALLY ARE WHAT YOU
EAT AREN'T YOU, TAMARA?
ABSOLUTELY.
AND YOU GUYS KNOW IF YOU FOLLOW
ME, ESPECIALLY ON SOCIAL MEDIA,
MY PASSION RUNS DEEP FOR TACOS.
EXCELLENT.
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT FROM
LOCAL NEWS.
SAVE THE GLOBALLY SIGNIFICANT
EVENTS FOR LATER!
I WANT TO SEE A JOURNALISM MAJOR
WITH A GIANT TACO ON HER HEAD
LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA
AND SAY-- AND I QUOTE--
"MY PASSION RUNS DEEP FOR
TACOS".
JUST IMAGINE OTHER NEWS
DELIVERED THAT WAY.
"FROM DALLAS, TEXAS, THE FLASH
APPARENTLY OFFICIAL.
PRESIDENT KENNEDY DIED AT
1:00 P.M. CENTRAL STANDARD TIME.
YOU PROBABLY
ALREADY KNEW THIS ABOUT ME, BUT
I'M THE BIGGEST HOT DOG HOUND
AROUND."
MEANWHILE, IT WAS THE
VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE ON
TUESDAY, IN THIS VERY BUILDING.
IN FACT, THIS STUDIO SERVED AS
THE POST-DEBATE SPIN ROOM.
MEANING THAT YOU ARE ALL
BREATHING IN THE SAME AIR
PARTICLES THAT WERE ONCE INSIDE
DON JR.'S NOSE AND MOUTH.
SO IF ANYONE IN THE AUDIENCE
WAKES UP TOMORROW FEELING LIKE
YOU HAVE A SORE THROAT AND
YOU'RE A TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT TO
YOUR FATHER, THAT IS PROBABLY
WHY.
IN CONTRAST TO THE PRESIDENTIAL
DEBATE, WALZ AND VANCE SEEMED AT
PAINS TO BE COURTEOUS TO ONE
ANOTHER-- SOMETHING MANY
COMMENTATORS SAW AS A PLUS.
THE DEBATE WAS SO POLITE.
IT'S BEING CALLED "A NIGHT OF
MIDWEST NICE."
DESPITE THEIR DIFFERENCES,
THEY STILL MANAGED TO BE CIVIL.
IT WAS SO REFRESHING TO SEE
THESE TWO GUYS, THOUGH.
THEY WERE SO POLITE TO ONE
ANOTHER.
THEY WERE.
I LIKED IT.
IT WAS A CIVIL DEBATE.
IT ALMOST SEEMED LIKE THEY LIKE
EACH OTHER.
IN MANY WAYS, THAT'S WHAT THE
COUNTRY HAS BEEN SAYING THEY
WANT MORE OF.
OKAY, FIRST: ON THE
LIST OF THINGS AMERICA'S BEEN
SAYING IT WANTS MORE OF,
"CIVILITY" IS, AT BEST, NUMBER
SIX, AFTER AFFORDABLE
HEALTHCARE, GUN CONTROL,
CHEAPER HOUSING, REPRODUCTIVE
RIGHTS, AND STARRING VEHICLES
FOR NICOLA COUGHLAN.
BUT ALSO, WHY DO MANNERS MATTER
HERE?
THE DEBATE INCLUDED DISCUSSIONS
ON HOW TO CARRY OUT MASS
DEPORTATIONS, AND WHETHER WOMEN
SHOULD HAVE CONTROL OVER THEIR
OWN BODIES.
ETIQUETTE IS KIND OF BESIDE THE
POINT.
IT'S LIKE READING A RANSOM NOTE
AND GOING, "THIS CURSIVE IS
JUST SO LOVELY.
LOOK AT THE CAPITAL Y IN "YOU
HAVE 24 HOURS BEFORE HE DIES."
THERE ARE STILL SOME PEOPLE WHO
WERE RAISED RIGHT."
AND COMPLIMENTING VANCE ON HIS
CIVIL TONE IS A LITTLE HARD TO
TAKE, GIVEN HOW HE SPENT THE
REST OF HIS WEEK.
JUST DAYS BEFORE THE DEBATE, HE
TOOK PART IN AN EVENT CALLED
THE COURAGE TOUR-- HOSTED BY
LANCE WALLNAU, A PROMINENT
FAR-RIGHT CHRISTIAN NATIONALIST,
AND SOMEONE WHO'S TALKED ABOUT
SHE CAN LOOK PRESIDENTIAL.
AND WE'LL GO TO THIS LATER.
THAT'S THE SEDUCTION OF WHAT I
WOULD SAY IS WITCHCRAFT.
THAT'S THE MANIPULATION OF
IMAGERY THAT CREATES AN
IMPRESSION CONTRARY TO THE
TRUTH.
BUT IT SEDUCES YOU INTO SEEING
IT.
SO THAT SPIRIT, THAT OCCULT
SPIRIT, I BELIEVE, IS OPERATING
ON HER AND THROUGH HER.
OKAY, FIRST:
KAMALA HARRIS ISN'T THE ONE
WHO'S BEEN RELENTLESSLY
PROMOTING WITCHCRAFT-- YOU'RE
THINKING OF UNIVERSAL'S
MARKETING DEPARTMENT.
AND THIS GUY CLEARLY SHOULDN'T
BE COMMENTING ON THE ELECTION.
HE SHOULD BE STANDING IN A TENT
IN 1856 SELLING CHILDREN MERCURY
TONICS HE CLAIMS WILL LET THEM
TALK TO GHOSTS.
HONESTLY, IT FEELS LIKE THE
QUESTION THAT LOWER BANNER
SHOULD REALLY BE ASKING THERE
"HOLD ON, IS THIS WACKY
BITCH FOR REAL?"
AND IT GETS WORSE.
BECAUSE AT THE EVENT IN
PENNSYLVANIA, WALLNAU EXPLAINED
VANCE HAD BEEN SCHEDULED TO BE
ELSEWHERE, BUT GOD MANAGED TO
CHANGE HIS PLANS-- AND YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THE LOGIC
BEHIND THAT.
AS YOU KNOW, WE HAVE
VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
J.D. VANCE COMING.
AND I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, I
TAKE THAT AS A DIRECT ACT OF
GOD.
BECAUSE IT JUST CAME TOGETHER IN
A CERTAIN WAY.
PITTSBURGH WASN'T EVEN ON THE
MAP.
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
NORTH CAROLINA.
AND GOD SWITCHED IT THAT FAST...
FOR YOU.
YEAH.
APPARENTLY, GOD MADE SURE
HELENE'S FLOODS BROUGHT
J.D. VANCE TO THAT EVENT.
AND LOOK, I AM NOT THE AUTHORITY
ON BEING CHRISTIAN.
I WAS EVIDENTLY THE ONLY
COMEDIAN IN THE WORLD WHO DID
NOT MEET THE FUCKING POPE THIS
YEAR!
BUT IF YOU BELIEVE IN A GOD
WHO'D UNLEASH A DEVASTATING
HURRICANE, JUST SO J.D. VANCE
COULD SPEND AN AFTERNOON OUTSIDE
PITTSBURGH, YOUR GOD SOUNDS LIKE
AN ASSHOLE.
AND DURING VANCE'S APPEARANCE AT
THE EVENT, HE SEEMED MORE THAN
HAPPY TO PLAY TO THE CROWD.
THE AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM
USED TO BE THE ENVY OF THE
WORLD.
RICH OR POOR ALIKE, WE BELIEVE
IN THIS COUNTRY THAT EVERY
PERSON DESERVES A QUALITY
EDUCATION.
WELL, NOW WE'VE GOT AMERICAN
CHILDREN WHO CAN'T ADD FIVE PLUS
FIVE, BUT THEY CAN TELL YOU THAT
THERE ARE 87 DIFFERENT GENDERS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?
THAT IS OBVIOUSLY BIGOTED
BULLSHIT.
IF ANY KIDS ARE MISSING OUT ON
THEIR ADDITION LESSONS, IT'S FOR
THE SAME REASON THEY ALWAYS
BECAUSE THEY'RE WAY TOO
DISTRACTED BY
THE CLASS HAMSTER.
HOW ARE KIDS SUPPOSED TO FOCUS
ON THEIR MATH WORKSHEET WHEN
"MEATBALL" OVER HERE IS
SPRINTING ON HIS WHEEL LIKE HE'S
ON COKE, ROLLING AROUND
CHAOTICALLY IN A TOILET PAPER
TUBE, AND PANIC-STUFFING HIS
CHEEKS WITH A MONTH'S SUPPLY OF
CARROT CHUNKS?
HE LOOKS LIKE MARLON BRANDO IN
"THE GODFATHER," AND THOSE KIDS
ARE SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON MATH?
IT'S NOT HAPPENING!
BUT THAT IS WHO VANCE ACTUALLY
IS.
AND AT THE END OF THE DEBATE, HE
LET A GLIMPSE OF THAT COME
THROUGH, WHEN THE SUBJECT TURNED
TO THE LAST ELECTION, AND HE
OFFERED THIS REVISIONIST
HISTORY.
REMEMBER, HE SAID THAT ON
JANUARY 6TH, THE PROTESTERS
OUGHT TO PROTEST PEACEFULLY.
AND ON JANUARY 20TH, WHAT
HAPPENED?
JOE BIDEN BECAME THE PRESIDENT.
DONALD TRUMP LEFT
THE WHITE HOUSE.
DID HE LOSE THE 2020
ELECTION?
TIM, I'M FOCUSED ON THE
FUTURE.
THAT IS A DAMNING-- THAT IS
A DAMNING NONANSWER.
YEAH, IT IS.
"I'M FOCUSED ON THE FUTURE" IS
ONE OF THE MOST GENERIC,
STORE-BRAND FUCKBOY DEFLECTIONS
THERE IS.
IT'S NO WONDER TIM WALZ BROKE
THE FOURTH WALL THERE LIKE HE
WAS IN "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY."
BECAUSE "I'M FOCUSED ON THE
FUTURE" IS WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU
WANT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
IF NOT, YOU JUST ANSWER THE
QUESTION.
"JOHN, HAVE YOU EVER MURDERED
SOMEONE?"
NO, I HAVEN'T.
"HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MISTAKEN FOR
PENN BADGLEY?"
NO, I HAVEN'T.
"HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FORCIBLY
REMOVED FROM A RAINFOREST CAFE
FOR INSISTING THAT THE FROG WAS
COMING ON TO YOU?"
LOOK, I'M FOCUSED ON THE FUTURE.
I'M MOVING FORWARD.
AND THAT ANSWER WAS ESPECIALLY
GLARING CONSIDERING THE DAY
AFTER THE DEBATE, A JUDGE
UNSEALED SPECIAL PROSECUTOR
JACK SMITH'S BRIEF IN THE
ELECTION FRAUD CASE AGAINST
TRUMP, REMINDING US YET AGAIN OF
THE RIDICULOUS STEPS HE TOOK TO
AVOID LEAVING OFFICE.
THE BRIEF PRESENTS THE
FULLEST PICTURE YET OF SMITH'S
CASE THAT TRUMP KNEW HE LOST,
BUT LIED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
ANYWAY.
PROSECUTORS CLAIM THEY SPOKE TO
ONE WHITE HOUSE STAFFER WHO SAID
HE OVERHEARD TRUMP TELLING
FAMILY MEMBERS, "IT DOESN'T
MATTER IF YOU WON OR LOST THE
ELECTION.
YOU STILL HAVE TO FIGHT LIKE
HELL.
BUT IT SUPER MATTERS IF
YOU LOST!
IT'S KIND OF THE MAIN THING THAT
MATTERS.
THAT IS THE MOST UNSETTLING
THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY
OVERHEAR IF YOU WORK IN THE
WHITE HOUSE, INCLUDING LBJ
ORDERING PANTS WITH MORE ROOM
AROUND HIS "BUNGHOLE"-- REAL
ONES WILL KNOW-- AND COMMANDER
BIDEN MAULING HIS 78TH
SECRET SERVICE AGENT.
AND WHILE THERE IS A LOT IN THE
FILING WE ALREADY KNEW-- LIKE
TRUMP RESPONDING AFTER BEING
TOLD MIKE PENCE HAD TO BE
EVACUATED FROM THE CAPITOL WITH
"SO WHAT?"-- IT ALSO FEATURED
NEW DETAILS, LIKE TRUMP AT ONE
POINT MUTING SIDNEY POWELL WHEN
SHE WAS OUTLINING HER BOGUS
FRAUD CLAIMS, TELLING PEOPLE SHE
WAS "CRAZY."
AND IF I EVER FOUND OUT I LIED
SO BADLY THAT DONALD TRUMP MUTED
THE CALL TO SAY, "THIS IS SOME
CRAZY SHIT," YOU'D NEVER SEE ME
AGAIN.
I WOULD WALK DIRECTLY INTO THE
OCEAN.
AND NONE OF THIS IS THEORETICAL.
IF HE LOSES NEXT MONTH, THERE'S
EVERY REASON TO BELIEVE TRUMP
WILL DISPUTE THE RESULTS AGAIN.
AND VANCE HAS MADE IT CLEAR HE'S
GOT NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.
AND THAT ALONE SHOULD BE
DISQUALIFYING.
FOR ALL THE TALK THIS WEEK ABOUT
HIS "CIVILITY" AT THE DEBATE,
LET'S NOT FORGET, HE'S THE SAME
COLOSSAL DIPSHIT WHO SPEWS
RIGHT-WING HATE WITH DISTRESSING
EASE, AND CONTINUES TO DEFEND
THE BIG LIE THAT THE LAST
ELECTION WAS STOLEN.
IT IS ALL TREMENDOUSLY BLEAK,
WHICH IS WHY-- TO BORROW A
PHRASE I HEARD RECENTLY-- "I AM
FOCUSED ON THE FUTURE"--
SPECIFICALLY, ONE IN WHICH IN
FOUR WEEKS' TIME, TRUMP
HOPEFULLY LOSES THIS FUCKING
ELECTION.
AND NOW, THIS.
AND NOW...
MIKA BRZEZINSKI WOULD LIKE HER
COHOST TO PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK
UP ABOUT A SPORTS THERAPIST
BECAUSE THEIR QUARTERBACK DID AN
EXTRAORDINARY JOB.
LET'S STOP PRETENDING THAT THE
SEC DOESN'T PLAY IN A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT LEVEL THAN EVERYBODY
ELSE.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW LET'S JUST STOP TALKING
ABOUT SPORTS AND DO THE NEWS.
EVEN DOWN 2-0 TONIGHT,
MADISON SQUARE IS GOING TO BE
CRAZY.
OKAY.
I'M GOING TO MOVE ON.
A COUPLE OF INCREDIBLE GAMES
TOMORROW.
WORLD CUP GAMES TOMORROW.
WE ARE GOING FRANCE.
I'M GOING TO TAKE THE
FURNITURE OUT--
BRAZIL.
THERE MIGHT BE A GAME 7.
MIKA, I SWEAR WE WILL GET OFF
SPORTS.
PLEASE, WE WILL GET TO MORE
SPORTS LATER.
WE WILL GET TO THE NEWS NOW.
NO, WE WANT.
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH
TIME FOR SPORT SPIRITS.
THIS HAS TO PUT HIM UP
THERE--
HOLD ON.
MIKA!
HE IS TALKING ABOUT MAN CITY.
LET ME ASK YOU A FORMER
BASEBALL QUESTION.
WE HAVE NOT TALKED ABOUT SPORTS
TODAY.
ON THE 5-YARD LINE-- MIKA
THANKS, OH, SUPER BOWL.
DO YOU JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT
BASEBALL JUST UPSET MIKA?
IS THIS--
YES.
IS IT?
YOU SHOULD JUST PICK UP YOUR
DEVICE OR READ THE PAPER
WHENEVER THEY GO TO SPORTS.
I CLEAN MY PURSE.
OF THE NEW YORK KNICKS, THE
LAST TIME THE ADVANCE TO THE
FINALS IN 2000.
MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
WHERE GOLF CARTS SEE
THEMSELVES IN FIVE YEARS.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT TRAFFIC STOPS, THE
MOST COMMON LAW ENFORCEMENT
INTERACTION IN AMERICA.
POLICE PULL OVER MORE THAN
50,000 DRIVERS ON A TYPICAL DAY,
ADDING UP TO MORE THAN
20 MILLION MOTORISTS A YEAR.
AND THEY DO SO FOR ALL SORTS OF
REASONS-- FROM SPEEDING, TO
BROKEN TAIL LIGHTS, TO--
SPECTACULARLY-- THIS.
THE WAY HE CAME UP TO THE
TRUCK, I KNEW.
I WAS LIKE, "OH, I DONE PISSED
THIS MAN OFF."
HE'S MAD ABOUT SOMETHING.
"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST,"
AND I WAS LIKE, "FOR WHAT?
FOR-- WHAT DID I DO?"
THE REASON I PULLED YOU OVER
IS YOUR DEROGATORY STICKER ON
THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK.
IT'S WORDS.
OKAY, WELL, WHAT DO THOSE WORDS
MEAN?
IT'S "ASS, EAT."
"I EAT ASS."
OKAY.
IF I TOLD YOU I WENT TO JAIL
FOR A STICKER, YEAH, WHATEVER,
DUDE.
LIKE, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
BELIEVE THAT.
ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
"I EAT ASS."
YES.
EVERY PART OF THAT IS EXCELLENT.
VERY MUCH INCLUDING THE
"ASS ME ABOUT MY FIRST AMENDMENT
RIGHTS" T-SHIRT, WHICH IS A
MASTERCLASS IN PERSONAL
BRANDING.
THOUGH-- I'M JUST GOING TO SAY
IT--
THAT GUY DOESN'T STRIKE ME AS A
REAL EATER.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I'M SURE HE'S ENTHUSIASTIC.
BUT ATTENTIVE AND WILLING TO
FOLLOW DIRECTIONS?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
BUT AS YOU UNDOUBTEDLY KNOW, NOT
ALL TRAFFIC STOPS MAKE THE NEWS
BECAUSE THEY'RE RIDICULOUS.
SOMETIMES, IT'S BECAUSE THEY END
IN VIOLENCE.
SINCE 2017, POLICE HAVE KILLED
AT LEAST 813 PEOPLE DURING
TRAFFIC STOPS, WITH BLACK PEOPLE
DISPROPORTIONATELY IMPACTED,
MAKING UP 29% OF THOSE KILLED,
DESPITE REPRESENTING ONLY AROUND
14% OF THE POPULATION.
WE'VE ALL SEEN THE VIDEOS OF
HIGH-PROFILE KILLINGS LIKE THOSE
OF PHILANDO CASTILE,
DAUNTE WRIGHT, OR TYRE NICHOLS.
THE HORROR OF THOSE VIDEOS
SHOULD BE SEARED INTO OUR
COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS BY NOW,
SO I'M NOT GOING TO BE PLAYING
ANY OF THAT FOOTAGE TONIGHT.
AND FOR BLACK PEOPLE IN
PARTICULAR, THOSE INCIDENTS HAVE
HIGHLIGHTED WHAT THEY ALREADY
KNOW ONLY TOO WELL-- THAT
DRIVING COMES WITH A CONSTANT
UNDERCURRENT OF FEAR.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DRIVE
WHILE BLACK?
DRIVING SCARED.
EVERY TIME YOU GET IN YOUR
VEHICLE, YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE
IF ANY COP GETS BEHIND YOU, IF
YOU ASK ANY AFRICAN AMERICAN,
OUR HEARTS INSTANTLY DROP.
IT MEANS TO DRIVE AROUND IN
FEAR.
IT MEANS TO DRIVE AROUND AND
ALSO HOPE.
WHAT'S THE HOPE?
HOPE THAT WE MAKE IT HOME
SAFE.
HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR LIFE
WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF YOU WERE A
WHITE DUDE?
FOR DRIVING PURPOSES, I
WOULDN'T WORRY EVERY TIME I SEE
A COP.
LOOK, THERE ARE LOTS OF
THINGS PEOPLE HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT WHILE DRIVING--
GETTING LOST, GETTING INTO AN
ACCIDENT, GETTING STOPPED BY A
CROSSWALK FLASH MOB WHERE
JAMES CORDON THRUSTS AT YOUR CAR
WHILE DRESSED LIKE A LARGE
MOUSE.
ALL REAL AND UPSETTING
POSSIBILITIES!
BUT NO ONE SHOULD ALSO HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT GETTING HARASSED OR
POTENTIALLY KILLED.
AND WHILE THE INCIDENTS THAT
GIVE RISE TO THAT FEAR OFTEN GET
DISCUSSED AS THE RESULT OF
INDIVIDUAL "BAD APPLE" COPS, THE
TRUTH IS, THEY'RE THE INEVITABLE
RESULT OF DELIBERATE DECISIONS
THAT HAVE TURNED TRAFFIC STOPS
INTO A SYSTEMIC ISSUE.
SO TONIGHT, LET'S TALK ABOUT
THE POWER WE'VE GIVEN TO COPS
DURING THEM, HOW THEY EXERCISE
AND OFTEN ABUSE THAT POWER, AND
SOME SIMPLE WAYS WE CAN START TO
CHANGE ALL THIS.
AND LET'S START BY ACKNOWLEDGING
THAT POLICE DO PULL PEOPLE OVER
FOR COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE ROAD
SAFETY REASONS, LIKE DANGEROUS
SPEEDING OR DRUNK DRIVING.
AND YOU WANT THOSE PEOPLE OFF
THE ROADS.
YOU DON'T NEED ME TO SHOW YOU A
CLIP ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF
ROAD SAFETY, BUT I'M GOING TO DO
THAT ANYWAY, BECAUSE WHEN ELSE
AM I GOING TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO
SHOW YOU THIS?
AN ACCIDENT!
THE HUMANS HAD AN ACCIDENT!
THERE WAS A CHILD IN THE CAR!
A CHILD?
A CHILD!
CATS HAVE NINE LIVES.
CHILDREN ONLY ONE.
HELP THEM LIVE THAT LIFE.
BUCKLE THEM INTO A CAR SEAT.
NO ONE WANTS A CHILD TO BECOME
OUR MEMORY.
♪ MEMORY ♪
♪ ALL ALONE IN THE
MOONLIGHT ♪
WELL, THAT WAS A LOT!
I'D ALMOST FORGOTTEN ALL THOSE
WEIRD CHARACTERS FROM "CATS",
LIKE ANJELICASPLAT, TURNIP,
ZAZZLE-SKUNK, OLD COLOSTOMY,
SKEEZLE-JIZZ, NIPPLE-TWISTER,
AND MISTER BUMBLEFUCK.
I DON'T REMEMBER THEIR REAL
NAMES, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
THAT
MUSICAL IS AN ABOMINATION.
IF THERE IS EVER A DAY THAT
ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER HAS NO
HATERS, THAT MEANS THAT I AM
DEAD, AND SO, BY THE WAY, IS
PATTI LuPONE.
BUT OF COURSE, THAT AD IS
COMPLETELY RIGHT.
YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE DRIVING
UNSAFELY TO CLAIM THE LIFE OF A
CHILD, A CHILD, A CHILD.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, LOTS OF STOPS
AREN'T ABOUT SAFETY AT ALL.
IN FACT, MANY ARE SO-CALLED
"PRETEXTUAL" STOPS-- BASICALLY,
THE POLICE USING A MINOR TRAFFIC
VIOLATION TO DETAIN YOU, WHILE
THEY INVESTIGATE FOR FURTHER
EVIDENCE OF CRIMES LIKE ILLEGAL
GUNS OR DRUGS.
AND THEY HAVE A LOT OF LEEWAY TO
DO THAT.
BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO
SEARCHING YOUR HOUSE, THE FOURTH
AMENDMENT GENERALLY REQUIRES
POLICE GET A WARRANT APPROVED BY
A JUDGE BEFOREHAND.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO CARS, THE
COURTS DECIDED THAT-- BECAUSE
CARS CAN DRIVE AWAY-- REQUIRING
A WARRANT IS IMPRACTICAL.
SO OVER THE YEARS,
THE SUPREME COURT'S
GIVEN POLICE WIDE DISCRETION IN
HOW A TRAFFIC STOP IS HANDLED.
AND IN 1996, IN
WHREN VS. THE U.S., IT FULLY
LEGALIZED PRETEXTUAL STOPS,
UNANIMOUSLY RULING THAT THE
"CONSTITUTIONAL REASONABLENESS"
OF A STOP DID NOT DEPEND ON THE
"ACTUAL MOTIVATIONS OF THE
INDIVIDUAL OFFICERS INVOLVED."
ESSENTIALLY, AS LONG AS POLICE
HAVE EVIDENCE OF A TRAFFIC
VIOLATION, HOWEVER MINOR, THEY
CAN USE A SIMPLE STOP TO START A
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION.
AND WHAT THIS MEANS IN PRACTICE
IS THAT A LOT OF STOPS NOW
AMOUNT TO JUST SHAKING PEOPLE
DOWN TO SEE WHAT CRIMES FALL
OUT.
ONE OF THE POPULAR MANUALS FOR
TRAINING POLICE IN TRAFFIC
INVESTIGATIONS FLAT-OUT STATES,
"CRIMINAL PATROL IN LARGE PART
IS A NUMBERS GAME" AND
"YOU NEED A LOT OF CONTACTS TO
FIND THE RELATIVELY FEW FELONY
OFFENDERS YOU'RE MOST INTERESTED
IN."
ONE FORMER OFFICER HAS EVEN
ADMITTED, "WE FISH.
IF I FOLLOW A CAR FOR FIVE
MINUTES, I CAN ALWAYS FIND ONE
OR TWO MOVING VIOLATIONS."
AND THAT'S TRUE.
THERE ARE SO MANY LAWS ON THE
BOOKS, A COP CAN ALWAYS FIND A
REASON TO PULL SOMEONE OVER.
EXPERTS SAY FINDING THE
INITIAL REASON TO PULL SOMEONE
OVER IS EASY.
THAT BECAME QUICKLY APPARENT
DURING AN AFTERNOON WITH AN
OFFICER OF THE OAKLAND,
CALIFORNIA, POLICE DEPARTMENT.
THIS INFINITI THAT DROVE BY
HAS A BUMPER THAT'S LOOSE.
THAT'S A VEHICLE CODE VIOLATION.
ALL LIGHTS MUST WORK, RIGHT?
SO HIS TOP BRAKE LIGHT DOES NOT
WORK.
SO I CAN STOP HIM FOR THAT.
RIGHT.
AND IT'S NOT JUST LOOSE BUMPERS.
THERE ARE TONS OF MINOR
INFRACTIONS ON THE BOOKS.
MASSACHUSETTS HAS A LIST OF
TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS THAT'S
25 PAGES LONG.
FLORIDA'S IS 32 PAGES.
AND IN NEW YORK CITY, THE LIST
IS 135 PAGES LONG.
AND NO DRIVER IS GOING TO BE
FAMILIAR WITH EVERY SINGLE RULE.
NO ONE IS READING THAT WHOLE
THING!
NOT EVEN ME, AND I HAVE RESTING
"READS TRAFFIC CODES FOR
PLEASURE" FACE.
AND SOME OF THE LAWS AROUND THE
COUNTRY ARE TRULY ABSURD.
SOME STATES, FOR INSTANCE, HAVE
LAWS THAT PROHIBIT DRIVERS FROM
HANGING OBJECTS FROM THEIR
REARVIEW MIRRORS, INCLUDING
AIR FRESHENERS AND ROSARY BEADS.
INCIDENTALLY, A DANGLING
AIR FRESHENER WAS A
JUSTIFICATION FOR PULLING OVER
DAUNTE WRIGHT.
BUT MANY OFFICERS WILL INSIST
PRETEXTUAL STOPS ARE ESSENTIAL
TO FIGHTING CRIME.
HERE IS A POLICE CHIEF,
EXPLAINING WHY STOPPING SOMEONE
FOR HAVING SOMETHING AS
INNOCUOUS AS AN AIR FRESHENER
ACTUALLY MAKES TOTAL SENSE.
SO IT COULD SEEM PETTY TO
SOME PEOPLE.
BUT IN MY 32 YEARS IN
LAW ENFORCEMENT, I'VE SEEN MANY
MINOR TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS LEAD TO
BIG ARRESTS.
WANTED FELONS, FUGITIVES FROM
JUSTICE, MURDER SUSPECTS.
BUT THAT IS STILL
PETTY.
IT IS PETTY TO PULL SOMEONE OVER
FOR NOT WANTING THEIR CAR TO
SMELL LIKE FARTS AND A YOGURT
THEY KNOW IS BACK THERE
SOMEWHERE BUT CANNOT FIND.
AND WHEN PRESSED FOR EVIDENCE OF
PRETEXTUAL STOPS BEING AN
EFFECTIVE CRIME FIGHTING TOOL,
COPS WILL CONSTANTLY BRING UP
THAT THIS IS HOW A STATE TROOPER
CAUGHT OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBER
TIMOTHY McVEIGH, BY STOPPING HIM
FOR DRIVING WITH NO LICENSE
PLATE.
IT'S A CASE THAT NOW HOLDS
MYTHIC STATUS AMONG POLICE
OFFICERS.
WHICH IS A LITTLE WEIRD, BECAUSE
ONE, HE WAS ONLY CAUGHT AFTER
THE BOMBING-- WHICH, TO BE
HONEST, FEELS A LITTLE MORE LIKE
A MISS THAN A HIT.
AND TWO, THE REASON THEY WERE
ABLE TO ARREST HIM IS BECAUSE
McVEIGH WAS CARRYING A CONCEALED
WEAPON, SOMETHING WHICH IS NOT
ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN OKLAHOMA
ANYMORE.
SO IF WE'VE ALL GOT OUR DICKS UP
FOR "HANGING ON TO LAWS THAT
CAUGHT TIMOTHY McVEIGH," LET'S
GO AHEAD AND ADD GUN CONTROL TO
THAT PILE, SHALL WE?
BUT THE TRUTH IS, RESEARCH HAS
CONSISTENTLY SHOWN PRETEXTUAL
STOPS DO VERY LITTLE TO MAKE US
SAFER.
A PHILADELPHIA STUDY FOUND THAT,
OUT OF 300,000 STOPS, ONLY 0.67%
RECOVERED ANY SORT OF CONTRABAND
- WHICH COULD INCLUDE WEED--
AND JUST 0.17% RECOVERED ANY
WEAPONS.
SO WHEN YOU MEASURE THE SUCCESS
RATE OF PRETEXTUAL STOPS WITH
ANY METRIC OTHER THAN
"PERCENTAGE OF TIMOTHY McVEIGHS
CAUGHT," THEY'RE A TREMENDOUS
WASTE OF TIME.
ALSO, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, IN
SOME SMALLER MUNICIPALITIES,
POLICE AREN'T JUST LOOKING FOR
CRIMES.
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR MONEY.
THERE ARE TOWNS AROUND THE
COUNTRY THAT HAVE RESORTED TO
RAMPING UP TICKETING WHILE
ENDURING BUDGETARY SHORTFALLS.
BASICALLY, AS SOON AS THEIR
BALANCE SHEET GETS WORSE,
MAGICALLY, IT SEEMS, SO DO THE
DRIVING SKILLS OF THE PEOPLE IN
THEIR COMMUNITY.
WE'VE TALKED BEFORE ABOUT THE
PRACTICE OF USING MUNICIPAL
VIOLATIONS TO FUND LOCAL
GOVERNMENT, IN PLACES LIKE
FERGUSON, MISSOURI, AND
BROOKSIDE, ALABAMA.
AND PEOPLE CAN STILL WIND UP
BEING STOPPED, TICKETED, AND
EVEN IMPRISONED FOR INABILITY TO
PAY.
BECAUSE IN 17 STATES, MINOR
TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS ARE
ARRESTABLE OFFENSES THAT COME
WITH A CRIMINAL RECORD.
AND EVEN IN STATES WHERE THAT'S
NOT THE CASE, PEOPLE CAN STILL
END UP IN JAIL BECAUSE MANY
PLACES CAN LOCK YOU UP FOR
FAILURE TO PAY FINES.
JUST LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN FROM
ST. LOUIS EXPLAIN HOW TRAFFIC
FINES CAN QUICKLY SPIRAL INTO A
DIRE SITUATION.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN
STOPPED?
I'M IN ST. LOUIS.
I DON'T KEEP COUNT OF THAT.
FIVE?
TEN?
KEEP GOING.
TEN WAS THE MINIMUM NUMBER OF
TIMES I'VE BEEN LOCKED UP.
SO TAKE THAT AND DOUBLE IT.
I'VE BEEN STOPPED NO LESS THAN
20 TIMES.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO
PAY THE FINE, YOU CAN GO TO
COURT.
WHEN YOU GO TO COURT, THEY'LL
TELL YOU COURT COSTS, TICKET,
PLUS FEES, DA, DA, DA, DA, DA.
YOU NOW OWE $300.
DO YOU HAVE $300 TO PAY TODAY?
NO.
ALL RIGHT, PUT YOU ON PAYMENT
PLAN.
SO EVERY MONTH, COME SEE US AND
PAY THIS BY THE 21ST.
IF NOT, WE'LL ISSUE YOU A
WARRANT ON THE 22ND.
MAKE YOUR PAYMENTS ON TIME
OKAY.
SO LET'S SAY, YOU DON'T MAKE
THAT PAYMENT, YOU GET A WARRANT.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
IF YOU HAVE THE RESOURCES, YOU
CAN PAY, BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T
HAVE THE RESOURCES.
SO YOU JUST-- YOU RUN.
AND CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.
HOW MANY WARRANTS DID YOU
RACK UP?
AT ONE POINT IN TIME, I WAS
WANTED IN 11 DIFFERENT
MUNICIPALITIES.
11 DIFFERENT MUNICIPALITIES.
HOW DID YOU LIVE WITH THAT?
CAREFULLY.
YEAH, THAT SEEMS ABOUT
RIGHT!
ASKING, "HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH
11 WARRANTS?" IS A BIT LIKE
ASKING, "HOW DO YOU HOLD A
NEWBORN BABY?" OR "HOW DO YOU
GIVE A PORCUPINE A HAND JOB?"
FUCKING
CAREFULLY.
AND THE COST OF THESE STOPS IS
BORNE OVERWHELMINGLY BY
COMMUNITIES OF COLOR, AND
PARTICULARLY BLACK DRIVERS.
ONE ANALYSIS OF MASSACHUSETTS
COUNTY FOUND THAT POLICE PULL
OVER BLACK DRIVERS AT MORE THAN
TWICE THE RATE OF WHITE DRIVERS
FOR NONTRAFFIC SAFETY
VIOLATIONS, LIKE A BROKEN
TAILLIGHT.
AND MANY POLICE DEPARTMENTS--
EVEN LARGE ONES-- WILL OBSCURE
THIS BY SIMPLY REFUSING TO TRACK
THE RACIAL MAKEUP OF WHO THEY
STOP AND TICKET.
WHILE OTHERS WILL GATHER THE
DATA, BUT FAIL TO CONNECT THE
DOTS AS TO WHAT IT MEANS.
JUST WATCH THIS POLICE OFFICIAL
IN NEW JERSEY CITE DATA OF HIS
OWN, BEFORE HAVING HIS CASE
DESTROYED WITH A SIMPLE
STATISTIC.
I MEAN, I PULLED OUR MOTOR
VEHICLE STOP DATA BY RACE THIS
MORNING BEFORE WE DID THE
INTERVIEW TO GET IT IN
REAL-TIME.
AND WE'RE AT 1814 MOTOR VEHICLE
STOPS FOR THE YEAR SO FAR.
AND 576 ARE HISPANIC, 573 WHITE,
AND 574 AFRICAN-AMERICAN.
SO IT IS PRETTY EVEN ACROSS THE
BOARD.
AND IF IT EVER SPIKES, THEN
WE'LL INVESTIGATE WHY.
YEAH, BUT WHAT YOU JUST TOLD
ME IS REALLY STARK BECAUSE 60%
OF THE POPULATION OF BLOOMFIELD
IS WHITE AND ONLY ABOUT 20% OF
THE POPULATION IS BLACK.
SO HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THAT?
UM, LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IT'S
BASICALLY WHERE OUR POLICE
OFFICERS ARE DEPLOYED.
RIGHT!
IT'S ABOUT WHERE YOUR OFFICERS
ARE DEPLOYED!
YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO FIGURING IT
OUT.
YOU JUST NEED TO SEE THE OBVIOUS
CONCLUSION.
IT'S LIKE WATCHING A
FOURTH GRADER DO A
MULTIPLICATION PROBLEM ON THE
BLACKBOARD, GET ALL THE WAY TO
THE END, AND THEN WRITE THE
ANSWER, "WOODY ALLEN IS
INNOCENT."
NO, WHAT?
HOW DID YOU GET TO THAT?
THE ANSWER'S STARING YOU IN THE
FACE, YOU IDIOT!
AND LOOK, RACIAL PROFILING
DURING TRAFFIC STOPS IS
OBVIOUSLY NOTHING NEW-- FROM
THE JIM CROW ERA SOUTH, ALL THE
WAY THROUGH THE '80s, WHEN COPS
WERE TRAINED USING A DRUG
COURIER PROFILE, WHICH HAD THEM
LOOKING FOR SUPPOSEDLY TELLTALE
TRAITS LIKE "DREADLOCKS" AND
"WEARING LOTS OF GOLD JEWELRY."
WHICH IS PROFILING BOTH
BLACK PEOPLE AND I GUESS,
VERY OCCASIONALLY, WHITE GIRLS
NAMED BRANCH WHO MAKE THEIR OWN
TAMPONS.
BUT SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE.
HER DAD IS A SENATOR.
AND THAT WAS EVEN BEFORE THAT
SUPREME COURT CASE I MENTIONED
EARLIER, WHICH RAISED THE BAR TO
PROVE CASES OF RACIAL BIAS.
BECAUSE TO DO THAT NOW, YOU NEED
TO ESTABLISH INTENT, WHICH IS
OBVIOUSLY HARD, BECAUSE NO COP'S
GOING TO EXPLICITLY ADMIT THEY
PULLED YOU OVER BECAUSE OF YOUR
RACE.
AND THAT HAS LED COURTS TO ALLOW
SOME PRETTY EXPLICIT PROFILING.
ONE FEDERAL JUDGE EVEN REJECTED
CLAIMS OF RACIAL INTENT AFTER AN
OFFICER JUSTIFIED PULLING OVER A
BLACK DRIVER BY SAYING, "ONE CAN
NEVER TELL WITH YOU PEOPLE."
AND IF THAT DOESN'T PROVE RACIAL
INTENT, I'M NOT SURE WHAT DOES.
EVEN MORE RECENTLY, JUST LISTEN
TO THE OFFICER WHO PULLED OVER
PHILANDO CASTILE-- FOR A BROKEN
TAILLIGHT, BY THE WAY--
EXPLAINING ON THE RADIO
BEFOREHAND WHY HE WAS ABOUT TO
DO THAT.
I'M GOING TO STOP THE CAR.
I'M GOING TO CHECK IDs.
I HAVE REASON TO PULL OVER.
THE DRIVER LOOKS MORE LIKE ONE
OF OUR SUSPECTS, JUST CAUSE OF
THE WIDE-SET NOSE.
HOLY SHIT.
IT IS HARD TO ARGUE YOU'RE NOT
PROFILING SOMEONE WHEN YOU'RE
PULLING THEM OVER BECAUSE OF
THEIR FACE'S LITERAL PROFILE.
CASTILE WAS APPARENTLY PULLED
OVER IN AND AROUND ST. PAUL,
MINNESOTA, 46 TIMES, AMASSING
MORE THAN $5,000 IN FINES.
AND HIS MOTHER IS PRETTY CLEAR
ABOUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HIM.
WHY DO YOU THINK YOUR SON WAS
STOPPED SO MANY TIMES?
BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK.
I MEAN, NOBODY CAN BE THAT
UNLUCKY.
AND NOBODY IS THAT HORRIBLE OF A
DRIVER.
IT WASN'T, HE RAN A STOP SIGN OR
HE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
IT'S NONE OF THAT.
IT'S WHAT THEY CALL NOW PRETEXT
STOPS.
YEAH.
SHE'S JUST STATING THE OBVIOUS
THERE.
THERE IS NO OTHER
INTERPRETATION.
IT'S NOT SOME BIG UNSOLVABLE
MYSTERY, LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO
AMELIA EARHART?
OR WHERE DO ALL YOUR SOCKS GO
WHEN YOU WASH THEM?
OR WHAT THE FUCK DO THESE TWO
TALK ABOUT?
QUESTIONS NO ONE HAS AN ANSWER
TO.
I'M NOT SAYING I'M NOT HAPPY FOR
THEM.
I AM HAPPY FOR THEM.
I'M HAPPY FOR THEM.
I'M SAYING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEIR DINNER TABLE CONVERSATION
IS LIKE, AND I DON'T THINK YOU
DO, EITHER.
BUT WE ARE HAPPY FOR THEM.
I AM HAPPY FOR THEM.
THE POINT IS,
THE STAKES HERE ARE INCREDIBLY
HIGH.
AND INFURIATINGLY, COPS WILL
SOMETIMES GLIBLY REMIND DRIVERS
OF THAT.
JUST WATCH THIS INTERACTION
BETWEEN A FLORIDA OFFICER AND A
DRIVER HE SAW AS UNCOOPERATIVE.
29-YEAR-OLD GERARDSON
NICHOLAS WAS ON HIS WAY TO WORK
WHEN HE WAS PULLED OVER BY AN
OFFICER FOR NOT WEARING HIS
SEATBELT.
LET'S SHOW YOU HOW IT ALL WENT
DOWN.
GOING TO JAIL TODAY?
I'M-- I'M GOING TO WORK,
MAN.
NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WORK.
I'M GOING TO WORK.
YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME YOUR
DRIVER'S LICENSE, REGISTRATION,
AND INSURANCE.
IF NOT, YOU WILL NOT BE GOING TO
WORK TODAY.
SIMPLE THING, MAN.
THIS IS HOW YOU GUYS GET KILLED
OUT HERE, MAN.
WHAT?
SAY THAT AGAIN.
YEAH, "SAY THAT AGAIN."
THERE'S A LOT TO OBJECT TO IN
THAT EXCHANGE, BUT LET'S ZERO IN
ON THE PASSIVITY OF THE WORDS
"GET KILLED" AS IF A SHOOTING IS
GOING TO BE SOMETHING THAT JUST
HAPPENS AS OPPOSED TO AN ACTION
THAT OFFICER WOULD BE CHOOSING
TO TAKE.
AND ONE MAJOR REASON WHY COPS
MAY BE ESPECIALLY JUMPY DURING
STOPS IS THEY'RE ACTIVELY TAUGHT
TO FEAR THEM.
TRAINERS AND TACTICAL GUIDES
OFTEN CLAIM THAT VEHICLE STOPS
ACCOUNT FOR MORE KILLINGS OF
OFFICERS THAN ALMOST ANY OTHER
TYPE OF INTERACTION.
AND POLICE TRAINING REINFORCES
ALL OF THIS.
JUST LAST YEAR, SOME FOOTAGE
CAME TO LIGHT FROM A SIX-DAY
TRAINING CONFERENCE FOR COPS
HELD IN NEW JERSEY, A
SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF WHICH
FOCUSED ON TRAFFIC
INVESTIGATIONS, AND ALSO
FEATURED THIS BOLD MOTIVATIONAL
SPEECH.
I LOVE WHAT THE FUCK I DO FOR
A LIVING.
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I'M GOOD
AT.
I LOVE VIOLENCE, I LOVE
FIGHTING, I LOVE SHOOTING, AND I
FUCKING LOVE FREEDOM.
IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO THAT WE
WERE DRINKING OUT OF THE SKULLS
OF OUR ENEMIES.
LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, I'M GONNA
FUCKING MURDER THIS GUY, THEN
I'M GONNA TAKE HIS HEAD, THEN
I'M GONNA CUT HIS HEAD IN HALF,
AND THEN I'M GONNA BOIL HIS
SKULL, AND THEN I'M GONNA DRINK
OUT OF THAT SKULL.
FUCKING RAD, RIGHT?
OKAY, FEW THINGS.
NO, NOT FUCKING RAD.
I DO BELIEVE YOU THAT
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE YOU'RE GOOD
AT.
AND LEAST IMPORTANTLY, WHY ARE
YOU WEARING A SHIRT COVERED IN
ELEGANT BIRDS?
YOU'RE TALKING LIKE A DERANGED
SERIAL KILLER, BUT DRESSED LIKE
YOU'RE AT BRUNCH IN
WEST PALM BEACH.
THAT SHIRT DOESN'T REMOTELY
MATCH YOUR PERSONA, WHICH, FROM
WHAT I CAN TELL IS "WHAT IF
SOMEONE FED MILO VENTIMIGLIA
NOTHING BUT RAW MEAT AND
TRAUMA?"
THAT CONFERENCE WAS RUN BY A
COMPANY CALLED "STREET COP
TRAINING"-- WHOSE LOGO
APPARENTLY FEATURES AN EAGLE
DRY-HUMPING A POLICE BADGE.
THE COMPANY ESTIMATES IT TRAINS
BETWEEN 25,000 AND 30,000
OFFICERS NATIONWIDE EVERY YEAR.
IN FACT, BETWEEN 2020 AND 2023,
PUBLIC AGENCIES IN AT LEAST
46 STATES PROVIDED DIRECT
PAYMENT TO STREET COP TRAINING.
THAT CONFERENCE YOU JUST SAW WAS
ATTENDED BY NEARLY 1,000
OFFICERS FROM AROUND THE
COUNTRY, WHO-- IN ADDITION TO
HEARING SPEECHES-- WERE ALSO
GIVEN WHAT WAS CALLED A
"REASONABLE SUSPICION FACTORS"
CHECKLIST-- A LIST OF BEHAVIORS
SUPPOSEDLY INDICATING WHEN A
DRIVER IS TRYING TO COVER UP A
MORE SERIOUS CRIME.
IT ADVISES LOOKING OUT FOR
THINGS LIKE "PASSENGERS ON THEIR
CELL PHONE, USUALLY TEXTING"
DURING A STOP, AND "NOT ALWAYS,
BUT OFTEN YAWNING."
THE CHECKLIST ALSO SAYS IT'S
SUSPICIOUS IF A DRIVER LOOKS
AWAY FROM THE POLICE CAR WHILE
PASSING IT, BUT ALSO IF THEY
LOOK AT IT.
LEAVING THE OPTION OF "CLOSING
YOUR EYES WHILE DRIVING PAST A
POLICE CAR" WHICH FEELS...
BAD.
AND YOU KNOW WHO'D AGREE?
THOSE ROAD SAFETY FREAKS FROM
"CATS."
YOU KNOW, LIKE RUMPLE-WEASEL,
CRUMPLE-BUTT, JUMBLE-SCAT,
LICKETY-FLOP, JAZZLE-BANGER,
JINGLE-SPHINCTER, AND
OF COURSE, OLD TINKLE-SHIT.
AGAIN, I DON'T REMEMBER THEIR
NAMES, AND I'M NOT WILLING TO
LEARN.
ALL IN ALL, WHAT WAS TAUGHT AT
THAT CONFERENCE WAS SO
EGREGIOUS, NEW JERSEY'S OFFICE
OF THE STATE COMPTROLLER FOUND
THAT A NUMBER OF THE TACTICS
WERE BOTH UNJUSTIFIABLY
HARASSING AND UNCONSTITUTIONAL.
AND FOR ALL THE FEAR PUMPED INTO
COPS, I SHOULD NOTE THAT--
WHILE IT CAN, OF COURSE, BE A
DANGEROUS JOB-- STUDIES HAVE
SHOWN THE DANGERS OF STOPS HAVE
OFFICER'S CHANCE OF BEING KILLED
DURING A STOP ESTIMATED AT
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
1 IN 3.6 MILLION AND
1 IN 6.5 MILLION.
AS ONE D.A. WHO'S CALLED FOR
POLICE REFORM HAS SAID, THE RISK
IS STATISTICALLY NEGLIGIBLE, BUT
EXISTENTIALLY AMPLIFIED.
AND IT IS NOTABLE THAT, DURING
CERTAIN ENCOUNTERS, COPS DO SEEM
ABLE TO HAVE LESS OF A HAIR
TRIGGER.
BECAUSE WHILE THAT MAN IN
FLORIDA GOT LECTURED FOR HAVING
THE TEMERITY TO TALK BACK TO AN
OFFICER, JUST WATCH THIS COP
DEAL WITH A DRIVER IMMEDIATELY
DOING A LOT MORE THAN THAT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
DOING, PULLING ME OVER?
FOR BLOWING MY HORN?
SIR, GO BACK INTO YOUR CAR.
I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A SECOND.
YOU BETTER CHECK THE
REGISTRATION ON THIS PLATE SOON,
MISTER.
WOW.
THAT GUY EXITED THE CAR WITH
FULL RIGHTEOUS BITCH ENERGY.
HE DELIVERED THAT LINE WITH THE
CONVICTION OF JULIA ROBERTS IN
"PRETTY WOMAN."
BIG MISTAKE!
BIG!
HUGE!
THAT GUY, BY THE WAY, WAS A
COUNTY JUDGE, AND WHEN THE COP
FOUND THAT OUT, AFTER CHECKING
HIS REGISTRATION, THIS IS HOW
HAVE A GOOD DAY, JUDGE.
YOU BET.
"YOU BET."
RESPONDING TO "HAVE A GOOD DAY"
WITH "YOU BET" INSTEAD OF SAYING
"YOU TOO" IS A LEVEL OF PETTY
SELF-ASSUREDNESS I'LL NEVER
ATTAIN.
WHEN THAT MAN ORDERS AT A
RESTAURANT AND WAITERS TELL HIM,
"GOOD CHOICE," HE SAYS, "I
KNOW."
AND INCIDENTALLY, YOU MIGHT
ASSUME THE BACK OF HIS CAR IS
BLACKED OUT THERE TO HIDE HIS
LICENSE PLATE, BUT I'M GOING TO
CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT'S BECAUSE
HE WAS PROUDLY DISPLAYING ONE OF
THOSE "I EAT ASS" STICKERS.
PROVE ME WRONG, JUDGE!
PROVE ME WRONG!
AND FOR BLACK DRIVERS, EVEN WHEN
TRAFFIC STOPS DON'T RESULT IN A
SHOOTING, OR AN ARREST, OR EVEN
A FINE, THERE CAN STILL BE REAL
HARM FROM THE STEADY WEAR AND
TEAR THAT COMES FROM
DEHUMANIZING INTERACTIONS.
TAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO
TAE-AHN LEA, A TEENAGER WHO IN
2018 WAS DRIVING HOME AFTER
GRABBING A SLUSHY AND CHIPS AT A
GAS STATION.
HE WAS PULLED OVER FOR
SUPPOSEDLY MAKING TOO WIDE A
TURN, SUBJECTED TO QUESTIONING
ABOUT WHETHER HE HAD DRUGS IN
THE CAR-- WHICH HE DIDN'T--
AND WAS THEN ORDERED TO STEP
OUTSIDE, WHERE HE WAS HANDCUFFED
AND FRISKED WHILE POLICE
SEARCHED HIS VEHICLE.
AND JUST WATCH HOW, WHEN A COP
TRIES TO BLAME HIM FOR THE STOP,
LEA CALLS HIM ON HIS BULLSHIT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING
WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE THIS
NEGATIVE VIEW TOWARDS THE
POLICE, WHAT'S THE DEAL?
WHATEVER-- WHAT'S EVER HAPPENED
IN YOUR LIFE PERSONALLY?
WERE YOU, LIKE, CAN YOU GIVE ME
A GOOD EXPLANATION?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
REALLY?
FUCKING, I GRADUATED.
I GOT A GOOD ASS JOB.
I GRADUATED WITH THREE FULL-RIDE
SCHOLARSHIPS.
I DIDN'T NEVER DO SHIT IN MY
LIFE.
I'VE BEEN IN THE HOUSE ALL DAY.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
LIKE, WHY ARE WE-- WHY ARE WE
IN THIS SITUATION?
YOU FUCKING YOU PUT ME IN
THIS SITUATION.
WE DIDN'T DO-- WE DIDN'T DO
IT.
YOU PULLED ME OVER.
YEAH, OF COURSE IT'S
THAT COP'S FAULT.
HE'S PLAYING DUMB WHILE CREATING
THE PROBLEM!
"WHY ARE YOU SO BUMMED OUT RIGHT
NOW?"
AS IF I HAVEN'T BEEN
PROFESSIONALLY BUMMING YOU OUT
FOR THE PAST 25 MINUTES.
THE COP WHO PULLED LEA OVER
LATER TESTIFIED THAT HE BELIEVED
HE WAS ARMED BECAUSE OF "THE
INTERACTION WITH HIM AND SEEING
HIM DISPLAY THE NERVOUSNESS,"
WHICH IS CLEARLY RIDICULOUS.
AND THANKFULLY, A JUDGE LATER
SIDED WITH LEA, RULING THAT
"NERVOUSNESS ALONE IS NOT A
SUFFICIENT BASIS ON WHICH TO
ARTICULATE REASONABLE
SUSPICION."
A LEGAL RATIONALE EXPERTS REFER
TO AS "A FUCKIN' DUH."
THAT COP ALSO TRIED TO JUSTIFY
HIS ACTIONS BY MENTIONING THE
PRESENCE OF A SMALL SOUVENIR
LOUISVILLE SLUGGER BAT IN THE
CAR, WHICH HE CLAIMED COULD HAVE
BEEN USED AS A WEAPON.
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THE "BAT" IN
QUESTION WAS ONE OF THESE,
WEIGHING ONLY SIX OUNCES.
AND I'M SORRY, BUT THAT IS NOT
LONG ENOUGH TO BE A WEAPON.
IT'S BARELY LONG ENOUGH TO BE
ONE OF PINOCCHIO'S NOSE BONERS.
AS THAT STOP CONTINUED, ANOTHER
COP ARRIVED, AND SO DID LEA'S
MOTHER, WHO ASKED HIM WHY HER
SON WAS BEING TREATED THIS WAY.
AND HE EXPLAINED THEY WERE
ACTUALLY PART OF A SERIOUS CRIME
UNIT, AND ESSENTIALLY ADMITTED
THAT DOING BULLSHIT TRAFFIC
STOPS WAS A KEY PART OF THEIR
JOB.
SO WHAT WE DO-- ONE OF THE
ASPECTS OF WHAT WE DO IS WE
FOCUS ON TRAFFIC STOPS, OKAY?
RIGHT NOW-- YOU LISTENING TO
ME?
YEAH, I'M LISTENING.
RIGHT NOW, THE CITY HAS BEEN
PLAGUED BY GUN--
I DON'T WANT THE HISTORY, I
JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY MY SON--
WHEN I SAY RIGHT NOW, IT'S
NOT HISTORY.
I'M TELLING YOU WHAT WE'RE DOING
RIGHT NOW, OKAY, AND I'M TRYING
TO JUST LET YOU UNDERSTAND.
BUT IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO
HEAR IT.
I JUST WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY
SON.
I KNOW THE STATISTICS--
I'M GETTING TO THAT.
I KNOW ALL ABOUT.
I'M GETTING TO THAT.
I'M TELLING YOU WHY YOUR SON IS
BEING STOPPED AND WHY HE'S OUT
OF THE CAR BUT YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWING ME TO DO THAT.
SO IT'S A TRAFFIC INFRACTION
THAT HE WAS STOPPED FOR, OKAY?
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
BUT OKAY.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT?
YOU WEREN'T HERE.
YOU DIDN'T SEE IT.
YOU WASN'T EITHER.
I KNOW.
YOU BELIEVE YOUR GUY AND I
BELIEVE MY SON, SO WE'RE EVEN.
HAS YOUR SON EVER MADE A
TRAFFIC INFRACTION, YOU THINK?
NO, HE HAS NOT.
HE'S NEVER MADE A TRAFFIC
INFRACTION.
HE HAS NOT.
I BET WE COULD WATCH HIM
DRIVE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND PICK
OUT A TRAFFIC INFRACTION.
I BET YOU COULD.
YEAH, SHE IS RIGHT.
SHE'S ALSO SHOWING SUPERHUMAN
RESTRAINT, IN THE FACE OF
SOMETHING UTTERLY ENRAGING.
BECAUSE "I BET WE COULD FIND A
BULLSHIT REASON TO PULL YOUR SON
OVER" JUST ISN'T THE FLEX THAT
COP SEEMS TO THINK IT IS.
IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF THE WHOLE
PROBLEM HERE.
IN FACT, THE COP WHO ORIGINALLY
DETAINED LEA ACTUALLY TOLD HIM
AT ONE POINT, "WE'RE GOING TO
STOP 30 MORE PEOPLE AFTER YOU,"
SHOWING THAT STOP WASN'T ABOUT
ONE BAD INTERACTION.
IT WAS A BAD SYSTEM, WORKING
EXACTLY AS DESIGNED.
SO WHAT DO WE DO?
WELL, I WOULD ARGUE THE FIRST
THING WE SHOULD DO IS INCREDIBLY
SIMPLE.
AND THAT'S TO JUST STOP DOING
PRETEXTUAL STOPS.
AND ONE BIG STEP TOWARD THAT
WOULD BE ELIMINATING
NON-SAFETY RELATED STOPS.
AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE SAYING
THIS.
IN CITIES AROUND THE COUNTRY,
ACTIVISTS HAVE PUSHED FOR THIS
CHANGE.
IN ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN, THIS
CITY COUNCILWOMAN PUSHED TO
REDUCE THE USE OF PRETEXTUAL
STOPS-- IN PART OUT OF FEAR FOR
HER SONS-- AND LAST YEAR, THAT
LAW ACTUALLY PASSED.
WE ARE TRYING TO SET AN
EXAMPLE ABOUT WHAT POLICING
COULD LOOK LIKE.
A CRACKED WINDSHIELD, TINTED
WINDOWS, LOUD EXHAUST, BROKEN
TAILLIGHT, OR EXPIRED
REGISTRATION OR PLATES AND OTHER
NON-SAFETY-RELATED ISSUES WOULD
BECOME NO LONGER BE GROUNDS FOR
A STOP.
STOPS INVOLVING SPEEDING,
RECKLESS DRIVING, AND OTHER
SERIOUS VIOLATIONS WOULD REMAIN
PRIORITY.
THIS FREES UP POLICE TO WORK
ON THOSE TYPES OF PRIMARY
OFFENSES.
EXACTLY.
THE LAW GIVES POLICE MORE TIME
TO INVESTIGATE ACTUAL DANGEROUS
DRIVING, AS WELL AS OTHER
MICHIGAN-RELATED CRIMES, WHICH I
HAVE TO ASSUME ARE, LIKE...
FISH THEFT?
OR MAYBE SECRETLY SHITTING IN A
LAKE?
I'M NOT SURE WHAT CRIMINALS DO
IN MICHIGAN, BUT COPS COULD HAVE
MORE TIME TO STOP WHATEVER IT IS
THAT'S HAPPENING THERE.
AND PROMISING CHANGES HAVE BEEN
IMPLEMENTED ELSEWHERE, TOO.
A FEW YEARS AGO,
PHILADELPHIA WAS ACTUALLY THE
FIRST MAJOR CITY TO BAN POLICE
FROM MAKING STOPS FOR CERTAIN
LOW-LEVEL TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS.
AND AFTER JUST EIGHT MONTHS WITH
THE LAW IN PLACE, STOPS
ASSOCIATED WITH THOSE VIOLATIONS
DROPPED BY MORE THAN HALF,
MEANING NEARLY 12,000 FEWER
BLACK DRIVERS WERE STOPPED.
AND WHILE THAT'S GREAT, IT
SHOULD OBVIOUSLY BE ONLY THE
BEGINNING HERE.
WE SHOULD ALSO DECRIMINALIZE
MINOR TRAFFIC OFFENSES AND STOP
LOCKING PEOPLE UP TO ENFORCE
FINES AND FEES.
EXPERTS ALSO TOLD US ONE MAJOR
STEP WOULD BE TO REQUIRE CITIES
KEEP DATA ON ALL THEIR TRAFFIC
STOPS, INCLUDING THE RACE OF WHO
THEY'RE STOPPING, AND WHAT
ACTIONS THEY'RE TAKING, TO MAKE
IT EASIER TO SEE AND ADDRESS
PATTERNS THAT EMERGE.
AND WE SHOULD DO THAT, BECAUSE
IT IS FRANKLY FUCKING INCREDIBLE
THAT IT'S NOT ALREADY HAPPENING.
AND LOOK, AGAIN, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU DON'T STOP PEOPLE WHO ARE
CLEARLY DRIVING DANGEROUSLY.
YOU CAN, AND ABSOLUTELY SHOULD,
DO THAT!
BUT THAT'S CLEARLY NOT THE ONLY
WAY TRAFFIC STOPS ARE BEING USED
RIGHT NOW.
AND DOING FEWER OF THEM FOR
BULLSHIT REASONS SHOULD BE AN
EASY SELL.
IF THEY POSE A SAFETY CONCERN
FOR POLICE OFFICERS, LET'S
REDUCE THE NUMBER THEY HAVE TO
DO.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THAT JUST SO HAPPENS TO
REDUCE THE NUMBER OF COPS WE
NEED?
WHAT A HAPPY ACCIDENT THAT WOULD
BE!
AN ACCIDENT?
AN ACCIDENT!
WHAT A HAPPY ACCIDENT!
YES!
THERE ARE...
SO MANY OF YOU!
THE POINT IS, WE HAVE TO STOP
THE ABUSIVE PRACTICES ASSOCIATED
WITH TRAFFIC STOPS.
IT'S SO OBVIOUS, EVEN A CHILD
CAN SEE IT.
A CHILD?
A CHILD!
YES, WELL SAID.
AND IF WE CAN DO THIS,
HOPEFULLY, SOMEDAY IN THE NEAR
FUTURE, FEAR OF TRAFFIC STOPS
WILL BE NOTHING BUT A DISTANT,
HAUNTING--
MEMORY!
♪ MEMORY, ALL ALONE IN THE
MOONLIGHT ♪
EXACTLY!
THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING, GOOD NIGHT!
DOWN!
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED UP HERE!
GET OFF MY DESK!
GET DOWN!
BAD CATS!
HAVE A TOY.
DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN IT GOES OVER
THERE?
DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN IT GOES OVER
HERE?
GET IT, CAT.