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♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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John: WELCOME, WELCOME,

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WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"!

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I'M JOHN OLIVER.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

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US.

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IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK!

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JOE ROGAN APPEARED TO ENDORSE

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RFK ONLY TO WALK IT BACK, THESE

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ASTRONAUTS LEARNED THEY MAY BE

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STUCK ON THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE

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STATION TILL NEXT YEAR, AND THE

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OLYMPICS WRAPPED UP, AFTER

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ANOTHER WEEK OF INSPIRING

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STORIES, INCLUDING 14-YEAR-OLD

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AUSTRALIAN ARISA TREW, WHO WON A

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SKATEBOARDING GOLD, THEN GAVE

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THIS SPECTACULAR INTERVIEW ABOUT

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WHAT HER WIN MEANT.

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THE GIFT I ASKED FROM MY

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PARENTS IF I LIKE WON WAS IF I

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COULD GET A PET DUCK BECAUSE

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DUCKS ARE REALLY CUTE AND I

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REALLY WANTED A PET DUCK.

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AND WHAT HAVE THEY SAID?

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MY MUM SAID YES, BUT MY DAD'S

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BEEN LIKE SAYING YES THIS WHOLE

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TIME, BUT MY MUM WAS SAYING NO,

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BUT THEN LIKE I SAID IF I LIKE

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DID WIN CAN I GET A DUCK?

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AND SHE SAID YES.

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ARE YOU GOING TO TEACH THE

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DUCK TO SKATEBOARD?

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YEAH, I'M GOING TO TAKE THE

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DUCK TO THE SKATEPARK AS WELL

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AND TAKE IT ON WALKS.

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John: YES!

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LISTEN TO ME, SOMEONE GET THAT

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GIRL A FUCKING DUCK RIGHT NOW!

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IF ANYONE'S EVER EARNED ONE,

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IT'S HER.

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IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

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EVERY OLYMPIC MEDALIST SHOULD

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GET A DUCK FROM NOW ON.

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THEY SHOULD ALL STAND PROUDLY ON

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THE PODIUM WITH A MEDAL AROUND

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THEIR NECK AND A DUCK IN THEIR

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ARMS.

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THAT'S THE OLYMPICS I WANT TO

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SEE NEXT TIME, OR I'M OUT.

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BUT SADLY, WE HAVE TO TURN TO

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THE U.S. ELECTION, WHERE THE

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TRUMP TEAM'S BEEN DESPERATELY

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TRYING TO BLUNT THE MOMENTUM OF

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THE HARRIS CAMPAIGN-- AND I DO

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MEAN DESPERATELY.

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THIS WEEK, HE STARTED CALLING

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HER "KAMABLA," WHICH WAS

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IMMEDIATELY CONFUSING.

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DID IT MEAN SHE WAS "BLAH?"

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WAS HE TRYING TO EVOKE THAT

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SHE'S "BLACK?"

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WAS IT A TYPO HE DOUBLED DOWN

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ON?

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A JOURNALIST ACTUALLY TEXTED HIS

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CAMPAIGN SPOKESMAN AND ASKED:

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"WHY IS HE MISSPELLING HER NAME

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KAMABLA?"

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TO WHICH THE SPOKESMAN RESPONDED

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AND THIS IS ALL REAL--

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"KAMABLA."

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THE REPORTER THEN ASKED, "WHAT

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DOES THAT MEAN?,"

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AND GOT THE RESPONSE, "KAMABLA"

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AND WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY SAID,

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"CAN I USE ON THE RECORD," HIS

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RESPONSE WAS-- YOU GUESSED IT

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"KAMABLA."

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AND I GENUINELY HOPE HE RESPONDS

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TO ALL TEXTS LIKE THAT.

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"HEY, HONEY, CAN YOU PICK UP THE

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KIDS FROM BASEBALL PRACTICE?"

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"KAMABLA."

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"OKAY, BUT SERIOUSLY, CAN YOU

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GET THE KIDS?

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I HAVE TO WORK LATE."

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"KAMABLA."

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"STEVEN, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"

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"KAMABLA."

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"I WANT A DIVORCE."

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"KAMABLA."

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THAT SAME SPOKESMAN ALSO PUT OUT

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THIS VENN DIAGRAM OF THE WORDS

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"KAMA" AND "BLA," WHICH NOT ONLY

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FAILED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING, IT'S

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NOT HOW VENN DIAGRAMS WORK.

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NOT TO BE A TOTAL CHART BITCH,

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BUT I AM WHAT I AM, AND-- VERY

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BASICALLY-- A VENN DIAGRAM USES

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OVERLAPPING CIRCLES TO VISUALLY

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DEPICT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN

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TWO OR MORE THINGS, WITH

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COMMONALITIES REPRESENTED BY

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WHERE THEY OVERLAP.

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FOR INSTANCE, A VENN DIAGRAM

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COULD FEATURE ONE CIRCLE WITH

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DOLPHINS AND ANOTHER WITH

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SHARKS, OVERLAPPING WITH THE

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SHARED DESCRIPTOR "LIVES IN THE

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OCEAN."

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OR YOU COULD HAVE A CIRCLE WITH

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ME AND ANOTHER WITH BIG BIRD,

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WITH THE OVERLAP BEING "SQUAWKS

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EDUCATIONAL LESSONS ON

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TELEVISION."

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OR YOU COULD HAVE A CIRCLE WITH

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JENNA ORTEGA AND ONE WITH PEPE

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LePEW, WITH THE INTERSECTION:

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CAN'T SAY WHERE THEY WERE ON

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9/11."

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NOW, DOES IT MATTER THAT ONE'S

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FICTIONAL AND ONE WASN'T BORN

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YET?

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I CAN'T ANSWER THAT, I'M JUST

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TELLING YOU WHAT THE DIAGRAM

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LOGICALLY HIGHLIGHTS.

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MY POINT IS, YOU CAN HAVE LOTS

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OF FUN WITH CHARTS, BUT THIS IS

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THIS RIGHT HERE IS FUCKING

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NOTHING.

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BUT IT'S NOT JUST "KAMABLA"

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THAT'S BEEN AN UNFORCED ERROR.

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TRUMP'S VP CHOICE

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J.D. VANCE, A MAN WITH THE FACE

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YOU GET IF YOU GOOGLE "BACHELOR

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PARTY ARREST," CONTINUES TO

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UNDERWHELM.

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HERE HE IS CHOOSING THE WORST

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POSSIBLE ANSWER TO A PRETTY EASY

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QUESTION.

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YOU'VE BEEN CRITICIZED AS

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BEING A LITTLE TOO SERIOUS, A

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LITTLE ANGRY SOMETIMES.

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WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

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WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

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WELL, I SMILE AT A LOT OF

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THINGS, INCLUDING BOGUS

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QUESTIONS FROM THE MEDIA MAN.

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[LAUGHS]

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LOOK, I THINK IF YOU WATCH A

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FULL SPEECH THAT I GIVE, I

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ACTUALLY AM HAVING A GOOD TIME

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OUT HERE AND I'M ENJOYING THIS,

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BUT LOOK, SOMETIMES, YOU GOTTA

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TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD, AND

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RIGHT NOW, I AM ANGRY ABOUT WHAT

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KAMALA HARRIS HAS DONE TO THIS

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COUNTRY AND DONE TO THE SOUTHERN

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BORDER.

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John: IS HE ALL RIGHT?

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HE JUST GOT ASKED "WHAT MAKES

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YOU SMILE"-- A QUESTION TO

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WHICH THERE'S ALMOST NO WRONG

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ANSWER.

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YOU COULD SAY MY KIDS, DOGS THAT

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SLEEP WEIRD, A WARM BATH, DOGS

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THAT SLEEP WEIRD, CHEEZ-ITS,

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WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY

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ALSO THE NAME OF THIS DOG THAT

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SLEEPS WEIRD.

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BUT HE JUST RESPONDED TO "WHAT

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MAKES YOU SMILE?"

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WITH, "WHAT MAKES ME ANGRY IS

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WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THE SOUTHERN

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BORDER."

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IS JUST PLAIN WRONG!

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ALSO, CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE ON

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THAT LAUGH?

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[LAUGHS]

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John: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

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THIS IS GOING TO SOUND STRANGE,

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BUT HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE OF

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THOSE WORDS THAT YOU'D ONLY

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ENCOUNTERED BY READING IT, AND

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NEVER HEARD IN CONVERSATION?

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LIKE YOU'RE "PRETTY SURE" YOU

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KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THIS WORD,

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BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY HEARD IT,

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SO DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WRONG

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UNTIL YOU WERE AT A DINNER PARTY

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AND DESCRIBED SOMETHING AS "THE

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EPI-TOME OF STRANGENESS" AND THE

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OTHER GUESTS SAID "DID YOU

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MEAN EPITOME?"

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IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

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NO ONE HAD EVER USED THAT WORD

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AROUND YOU, AND YOU MADE A

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PRETTY REASONABLE GUESS.

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WELL, THAT'S HOW I GENUINELY

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THINK J.D. VANCE LEARNED TO

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LAUGH.

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I THINK HE READ ABOUT LAUGHTER

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IN BOOKS OR COMICS, SAW IT

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WRITTEN OUT PHONETICALLY, AND

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INTELLECTUALLY UNDERSTOOD THE

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NOISES ARCHIE MADE, AND WHEN THE

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OPPORTUNITY AROSE-- WHEN

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SOMEONE ASKED HIM WHAT MAKES HIM

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HAPPY-- EVEN THOUGH HE'D NEVER

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TRIED OUT THE NOISE BEFORE, HE

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THOUGHT "I GOT THIS," SAID "AH

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HA HA HA HA" AND IMMEDIATELY

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KNEW HE WAS WRONG.

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BUT THE SEEMING PANIC IN THE

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TRUMP CAMPAIGN RIGHT NOW IS

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PERHAPS BEST EXEMPLIFIED BY

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THEIR REACTION TO HARRIS'S

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CHOICE OF TIM WALZ, YOUR

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FRIEND'S NICE DAD, AS HER VP

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CANDIDATE THIS WEEK.

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IN TERMS OF GENERAL VIBE, HE'S

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BASICALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF

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J.D. VANCE.

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HERE HE IS LAST YEAR WITH HIS

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DAUGHTER AT THE STATE FAIR.

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HEY, MINNESOTA GOVERNOR WALZ

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HERE OUT AT THE STATE FAIR WITH

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MY DAUGHTER--

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HOPE.

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EVERY YEAR WE AS A FAMILY DO

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SOMETHING OLD AND SOMETHING NEW.

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I GET TO PICK SOMETHING-- A

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CLASSIC-- THE OLD MILL RIDE TO

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DO THAT, AND THEN HOPE GETS TO

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PICK SOMETHING NEW.

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I THINK WE'RE GOING TO GO DO

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THE SLINGSHOT.

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WHICH I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

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AND THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM ME.

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BUT THEN WE'RE GOING TO GO GET

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SOME FOOD.

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CORN DOG?

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I'M VEGETARIAN.

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TURKEY THEN.

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AND THEN--

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TURKEY'S MEAT.

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NOT IN MINNESOTA.

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TURKEY'S SPECIAL.

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John: EXCELLENT.

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I'VE NEVER ENJOYED WATCHING A

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VEGETARIAN GET GASLIT MORE THAN

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THAT.

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ALL OF THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, FROM

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THE RAPPORT WITH HIS DAUGHTER TO

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THE CORN DOG EXCHANGE TO THE

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FACT HE KEPT HIS PROMISE AND

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RODE THAT SLINGSHOT.

260
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TAKE A LOOK.

261
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:46,873
[LAUGHING AND SCREAMING]

262
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:47,507
John: THAT IS GENUINELY NICE!

263
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,708
CLEARLY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK

264
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:49,743
WALZ WHAT MAKES HIM SMILE.

265
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,577
YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT THERE, OR

266
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,578
IN PHOTOS OF HIM DOING

267
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,613
EVERYTHING FROM HOLDING A PIGLET

268
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:54,814
TO GETTING HUGGED BY KIDS AFTER

269
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,583
SIGNING UNIVERSAL FREE SCHOOL

270
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,018
MEALS INTO LAW, TO HIM HERE,

271
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,053
SEEMINGLY REMEMBERING THAT HE

272
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,589
ISN'T J.D. FUCKING VANCE.

273
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,257
WALZ IS A FORMER GEOGRAPHY

274
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,692
TEACHER AND FOOTBALL COACH AND

275
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,061
THERE'S A LOT TO LIKE IN HIS

276
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:08,795
BIOGRAPHY-- INCLUDING THAT, AS

277
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,863
A TEACHER, HE SERVED AS THE

278
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,097
FACULTY ADVISER FOR HIS SCHOOL'S

279
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,766
GAY STRAIGHT ALLIANCE,

280
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,367
EXPLAINING HIS DECISION TO

281
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,468
VOLUNTEER, SAYING, "IT REALLY

282
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,770
NEEDED TO BE THE FOOTBALL COACH,

283
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,071
WHO WAS THE SOLDIER AND WAS

284
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,105
STRAIGHT AND WAS MARRIED."

285
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:19,773
AND TO HIS CREDIT-- HE DID THAT

286
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,074
IN 1999.

287
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,009
THAT WASN'T EASY TO DO BACK

288
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,577
THEN, ESPECIALLY GIVEN JUST

289
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:27,013
THREE YEARS EARLIER, A BILL

290
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,515
BANNING FEDERAL RECOGNITION OF

291
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,316
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE HAD BEEN

292
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,618
SIGNED INTO LAW BY BILL CLINTON

293
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,752
TRULY A MORAL COMPASS WHEN IT

294
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:36,022
COMES TO MARRIAGES.

295
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,357
FOR THE PAST WEEK, REPUBLICANS

296
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,925
HAVE STRUGGLED TO FIND A LINE OF

297
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,193
ATTACK ON WALZ-- BRANDING HIM

298
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,928
AS A SOCIALIST, WHICH HE ISN'T,

299
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,830
LABELING HIM AS "TAMPON TIM" FOR

300
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,964
PROVIDING FEMININE HYGIENE

301
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,399
PRODUCTS IN SCHOOLS, AND EVEN

302
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,200
GETTING ANGRY AT THE FACT

303
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,668
MINNESOTA'S STATE FLAG WAS

304
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,403
CHANGED ON HIS WATCH.

305
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,971
WALZ LET HIS BEST CITY BURN

306
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,573
DOWN, FLOODED IT WITH ILLEGALS,

307
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,675
AND HELPED CANCEL THE STATE FLAG

308
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:56,843
TO MAKE IT LOOK MORE LIKE THE

309
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,044
FLAG OF SOMALIA.

310
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,379
JUST OVER THE LAST THREE

311
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,748
MONTHS, HE CHANGED MINNESOTA'S

312
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:05,485
FLAG TO LOOK BASICALLY LIKE A

313
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:05,785
SOMALI FLAG.

314
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:06,353
SO, THERE'S THE MINNESOTA

315
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:06,553
FLAG.

316
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,520
GORGEOUS FLAG.

317
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,154
LOOKS LIKE, YOU KNOW, LOOKS LIKE

318
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,456
ANY OTHER STATE FLAG.

319
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,091
HE CHANGED IT TO THIS.

320
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:11,658
NOW, GO AHEAD AND GOOGLE THE

321
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,225
SOMALI FLAG AND TELL ME THEY

322
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,159
DON'T LOOK ALIKE.

323
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:13,927
John: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING

324
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,095
ABOUT?

325
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,663
HAVE YOU SEEN FLAGS?

326
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,832
THEY'RE ALL SOME COMBINATION OF

327
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,799
COLORS, STARS, AND, IN THE CASE

328
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,434
OF SICILY, A THREE-LEGGED

329
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:21,968
MONSTER WITH A HEAD FOR A

330
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,136
VAGINA.

331
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,005
BUT THAT'S KIND OF MORE A

332
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:25,805
"SICILY'S GONNA SICILY"

333
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,775
SITUATION.

334
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:29,843
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, THE FLAG

335
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:30,643
WAS CHANGED MAINLY AS A RESULT

336
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,112
OF OBJECTIONS TO THE DEPICTION

337
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,613
OF A NATIVE AMERICAN ON THE OLD

338
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,814
FLAG, WHICH HAD ONLY BEEN AROUND

339
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,816
SINCE 1957 ANYWAY.

340
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,618
ALSO, WALZ WASN'T THE ONE WHO

341
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,719
PUSHED FOR THE CHANGE, HE JUST

342
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:40,320
HAPPENED TO BE GOVERNOR AT THE

343
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,054
TIME.

344
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,356
SO THAT CRITICISM IS MORE THAN A

345
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,724
LITTLE DESPERATE-- AS WAS

346
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:45,925
REPUBLICANS' ATTEMPT TO TARGET

347
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,293
WALZ'S MILITARY SERVICE, WHICH

348
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,795
CONSISTED OF SERVING 24 YEARS IN

349
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,063
VARIOUS UNITS AND JOBS IN THE

350
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,531
ARMY NATIONAL GUARD.

351
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,099
HE WAS ACCUSED THIS WEEK OF

352
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,801
"STOLEN VALOR" FOR HAVING SAID,

353
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,670
IN PASSING, AT ONE EVENT IN

354
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,672
2018, THAT HE'D CARRIED WEAPONS

355
00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,205
OF WAR, IN WAR-- WHICH HE

356
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,173
HADN'T.

357
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,875
HE NEVER ACTUALLY SAW COMBAT,

358
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,110
AND THE CAMPAIGN'S SAID HE

359
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,679
MISSPOKE.

360
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:09,783
BUT REPUBLICANS DIDN'T STOP

361
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:10,350
THERE-- WITH J.D. VANCE AND

362
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:10,984
OTHERS ALSO TRYING THIS LINE OF

363
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,152
ATTACK, REGARDING THE

364
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:12,786
CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH WALZ

365
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,620
LEFT THE NATIONAL GUARD.

366
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,421
WHEN TIM WALZ WAS ASKED BY

367
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,722
HIS COUNTRY TO GO TO IRAQ, DO

368
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,189
YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

369
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,457
HE DROPPED OUT OF THE ARMY AND

370
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,725
ALLOWED HIS UNIT TO GO WITHOUT

371
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,325
HIM.

372
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,828
I THINK IT'S SHAMEFUL TO PREPARE

373
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:23,430
YOUR UNIT TO GO TO IRAQ, TO MAKE

374
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,765
A PROMISE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO

375
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,500
FOLLOW THROUGH, AND THEN TO DROP

376
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,101
OUT RIGHT BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY

377
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,135
HAVE TO GO.

378
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,937
John: OKAY, THAT'S JUST NOT

379
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,305
TRUE.

380
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,973
WALZ RETIRED IN MAY OF 2005.

381
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:34,841
HIS UNIT WASN'T ORDERED TO

382
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,543
MOBILIZE UNTIL JULY OF THAT

383
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,378
YEAR, AND DIDN'T DEPLOY TO IRAQ

384
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,546
UNTIL 2006.

385
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,814
EVEN THE HARD-RIGHT WALL STREET

386
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:41,781
JOURNAL EDITORIAL BOARD SAID,

387
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,383
THE CHARGES LEVELED SO FAR ABOUT

388
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,184
HIS MILITARY SERVICE LOOK LIKE

389
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,654
THIN GRUEL.

390
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,822
WHICH, AS FAR AS ARGUMENTS GO,

391
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,256
IS JUST NOT ENOUGH GRUEL.

392
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,091
MAKING IT OFFICIAL: AFTER 11

393
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,092
YEARS OF THIS SHOW, AND DESPITE

394
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,560
MY BEST EFFORTS TO RESIST IT,

395
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,395
WE'VE SOMEHOW REACHED A POINT

396
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,763
WHERE I, A BRITISH OLIVER, HAVE

397
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,831
INADVERTENTLY DEMANDED MORE

398
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:03,670
GRUEL.

399
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,705
IT SEEMS SOME STEREOTYPES ARE

400
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,506
JUST DESERVED.

401
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,073
AND LOOK, THERE ARE 85 DAYS

402
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:07,674
UNTIL ELECTION DAY, AND WHILE

403
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:08,508
THAT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE A LOT,

404
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,110
IT'S GOING TO FEEL INCREDIBLY

405
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:10,810
LONG.

406
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,379
AND IT'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR THE

407
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,713
GOP TO DRAW UP ATTACKS FAR MORE

408
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,949
VICIOUS AND HATEFUL THAN

409
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,650
KAMABLA, WHILE ALSO FIGURING OUT

410
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:18,885
MORE INVENTIVE WAYS TO ATTACK

411
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:19,452
HER RUNNING MATE.

412
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,554
BUT FOR RIGHT NOW, IT DOES SEEM

413
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,623
TELLING THAT SO MUCH OF THEIR

414
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,924
ATTACK STRATEGY SEEMS TO BOIL

415
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,459
DOWN TO A NONSENSE WORD AND

416
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,696
FALSE ACCUSATIONS OF STOLEN

417
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,230
VALOR, TWO DESPERATE SMEAR

418
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,598
ATTEMPTS, WITH ONE THING IN

419
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,499
COMMON: THEY REVEAL THE TRUMP

420
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,733
CAMPAIGN'S CURRENTLY GOT

421
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:37,270
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

422
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,371
AND NOW THIS.

423
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:44,177
Announcer: AND NOW,

424
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,379
RACHEL CAMPOS-DUFFY REALLY,

425
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,047
REALLY WANTS YOU TO KNOW SHE HAD

426
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,216
A PODCAST.

427
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,217
ANTIHUMAN BEING.

428
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,586
IT IS, IS ANTIHUMAN AND

429
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,821
THAT'S WHY ON MY PODCAST FROM

430
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,923
THE KITCHEN TABLE, WE TALK A LOT

431
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,191
ABOUT THESE ISSUE.

432
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,492
IF YOU WANT TO CATCH MY PODCAST

433
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,461
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK A FEW MONTHS

434
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,196
BUT WE HAVE A PODCAST THAT WENT

435
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,266
VIRAL ON THE RIGHT WAY AND IT'S

436
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,133
CALLED GOING BACK TO THE BOSS TO

437
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,069
BE 80s AND YOU SHOULD CHECK

438
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:09,736
OUT MY PODCAST.

439
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,272
IF YOU WANT MORE ON THE

440
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,074
CONVERSATION, YOU CAN GO TO MY

441
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:14,307
PODCAST.

442
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,543
IF SHE WAS.

443
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,812
I HAD KENNEDY ON MY PODCAST.

444
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,815
WE DID THE PODCAST, PLEASE GO TO

445
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,682
MY PODCAST "FROM THE KITCHEN

446
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,616
TABLE."

447
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,852
I HAVE A PODCAST WITH MY HUSBAND

448
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:26,386
"FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE."

449
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,554
ON MY PODCAST "FROM THE KITCHEN

450
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,388
TABLE" THAT I HAVE WITH MY

451
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,156
HUSBAND.

452
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,358
I HAVE "FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE"

453
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,992
WITH MY HUSBAND.

454
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,427
CHECK OUT THE MOST RECENT

455
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,395
EPISODE OF MY PODCAST.

456
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,429
I DON'T WANT TO PLUG MY PODCAST

457
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:40,066
BUT I'M GOING TO PLUG MY PODCAST

458
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:40,300
PODCAST.

459
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,069
ARE YOU SURE?

460
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:47,073
THE PRIMARIES OVER, OF AI

461
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:50,477
CAME OUT HERE NOW THAT THE

462
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,077
PRIMARIES OVER BECAUSE I JUST

463
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:55,148
THINK THAT-- --

464
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:55,515
THERE WE GO.

465
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:55,949
John: MOVING ON.

466
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:56,583
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS

467
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:56,816
HAWAII.

468
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:57,350
A PLACE OFTEN DEPICTED AS

469
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,651
PARADISE IN MOVIES AND TV SHOWS

470
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,252
LIKE "HAWAII 5-0",

471
00:11:59,252 --> 00:11:59,686
"NCIS: HAWAII", AND

472
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:06,359
"MAGNUM P.I.", WHERE THIS

473
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,227
MAGNIFICENT CLIP IS FROM.

474
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,628
MORNING, SISTER.

475
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:13,733
GOOD MORNING, SIR.

476
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:20,807
♪ ♪

477
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,844
NUNS DON'T WORK ON SUNDAY.

478
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:30,116
♪ ♪

479
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:30,817
John: YES, THAT HAPPENED.

480
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:31,685
THIS MIGHT COME AS A SHOCK TO

481
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:34,254
YOUNGER VIEWERS, BUT TV USED TO

482
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,655
BE REALLY GOOD.

483
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,289
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "WHY ARE

484
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,390
YOU SHOWING ME THAT FOR THIS

485
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:37,924
STORY?

486
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:38,925
EVEN IF IT TOOK PLACE IN HAWAII,

487
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,895
NOTHING IN THAT CLIP INDICATED

488
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,097
IT DID.

489
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,265
HEY, SHUT UP.

490
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,634
I WANTED TO REMIND YOU OF A

491
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,568
SIMPLER TV TIME WHEN YOU COULD

492
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:49,202
SHOOT A NUN TO SOLVE ALL OF YOUR

493
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:49,803
HAWAII CRIME PROBLEMS WITHOUT

494
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:50,970
WORRYING THAT SOMEONE ONLINE

495
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:51,705
WOULD POINT OUT THAT "ACTUALLY

496
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:52,806
THERE'S NO RULE THAT SAYS NUNS

497
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,507
CAN'T WORK ON SUNDAYS AND GIVEN

498
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,176
THAT NUNS ARE BY DEFINITION

499
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,043
COMMITTED TO SERVICE EVEN ON A

500
00:12:57,043 --> 00:13:03,950
SUNDAY, IF SO ORDERED BY HER

501
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:04,517
SUPERIOR."

502
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,185
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

503
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:05,819
TV USED TO BE GREAT NOT BECAUSE

504
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:06,419
THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE IT WERE

505
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,620
BETTER, BUT BECAUSE THE PEOPLE

506
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,558
WHO WATCHED IT WERE.

507
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,193
ANYWAY, HAWAII IS FAMOUS FOR

508
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,461
BEING ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR

509
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,796
TOURIST DESTINATIONS ON EARTH--

510
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,697
SO MUCH SO, MANY VISITORS CAN'T

511
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:18,498
SEEM TO RESIST TAKING A PIECE

512
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,566
HOME WITH THEM.

513
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,533
TOURISM OFFICIALS IN HAWAII

514
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,235
ARE REMINDING VISITORS NOT TO

515
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,771
TAKE LAVA ROCKS HOME WITH THEM.

516
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,705
TAKING THINGS FROM NATIONAL

517
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,040
PARKS IS AGAINST THE LAW, SO

518
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,508
TAKING VOLCANIC ROCKS FROM

519
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,610
HAWAII'S VOLCANOS IS ILLEGAL.

520
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,645
BUT APART FROM BEING ILLEGAL,

521
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,780
LEGEND HAS IT THAT TAKING

522
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,548
VOLCANIC ROCKS FROM HAWAII IS

523
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:38,118
BAD LUCK.

524
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,153
BECAUSE OF THAT MYTH, MANY

525
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,388
PEOPLE WHO TAKE THE ROCKS END UP

526
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,656
SHIPPING THEM BACK TO THE ISLAND

527
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,457
WITH NOTES OF APOLOGY.

528
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,159
OFFICIALS SAY PUTTING THE ROCKS

529
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,127
BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM COSTS

530
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:54,200
TIME AND MONEY.

531
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,702
John: IT'S TRUE, IT

532
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,203
APPARENTLY HAPPENS SO MUCH, A

533
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,438
NATIONAL PARK OFFICIAL EVEN

534
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,372
SAID, "WE WOULD LOVE FOR PEOPLE

535
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,206
JUST TO STOP TAKING STUFF AND

536
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,041
THEN ALSO PLEASE JUST STOP

537
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:01,641
MAILING US STUFF."

538
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:02,008
AND I GET THAT!

539
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:02,642
ESPECIALLY BECAUSE "A ROCK WITH

540
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,176
A NOTE ATTACHED TO IT" IS

541
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,144
FAMOUSLY ONE OF THE MOST

542
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,311
THREATENING FORMS OF

543
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,447
COMMUNICATION THERE IS, RIGHT UP

544
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,314
THERE WITH NOTES WHERE ALL THE

545
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,684
LETTERS ARE CUT OUT FROM

546
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,985
DIFFERENT MAGAZINES, A MESSAGE

547
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,553
SCRAWLED IN BLOOD ON THE WALL,

548
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:19,726
OR LITERALLY ANY PHONE CALL.

549
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,860
PLEASE, JUST TEXT UNLESS YOU'RE

550
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:21,628
PLANNING ON MURDERING ME-- AND

551
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,063
EVEN THEN-- JUST DO IT, I'VE

552
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,031
HAD A GOOD RUN.

553
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:25,231
WELL.

554
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:25,865
A RUN.

555
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,599
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HAWAII

556
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:27,200
BECAUSE THIS WEEK, IT MARKED A

557
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,135
GRIM ANNIVERSARY.

558
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:29,936
A YEAR AGO, THE DEADLIEST

559
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,338
WILDFIRE TO HIT THE U.S. IN MORE

560
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,939
THAN A CENTURY RIPPED THROUGH

561
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,240
THE WEST MAUI TOWN OF LAHAINA,

562
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,442
DESTROYING MORE THAN 2,000

563
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,043
BUILDINGS, CAUSING $5.5 BILLION

564
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,278
IN DAMAGE, AND KILLING 102

565
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,646
PEOPLE.

566
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,814
THE AFTERMATH EXPOSED

567
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,882
LONG-SIMMERING TENSIONS UNDER

568
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,517
THE SURFACE OF HAWAII'S

569
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,319
REPUTATION AS A TOURIST PARADISE

570
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,954
ESPECIALLY WHEN JUST A MONTH

571
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,289
LATER, ITS GOVERNOR ANNOUNCED

572
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,224
PLANS TO BEGIN REOPENING MAUI TO

573
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,192
TOURISM, EVEN WHILE MANY LOCALS

574
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,426
WERE STILL TRAUMATIZED OR

575
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,294
MISSING-- SOMETHING THAT,

576
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,995
UNDERSTANDABLY, WENT DOWN POORLY

577
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,497
THERE.

578
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,865
IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT TO GO

579
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:04,437
BACK INTO FULL-FORCE TOURISM.

580
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:08,675
WE'RE STILL RECOVERING.

581
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:09,309
FUNERALS JUST STARTED AND THEY

582
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,078
WANT US TO GO BACK IN.

583
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:12,712
ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE JOVIAL

584
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,346
WHEN TOURISTS ARE HERE IN THEIR

585
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,583
BATHING SUITS, FROLICKING IN THE

586
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,151
SURF, DRIVING THESE ROADS LIKE

587
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,220
THEY'RE ON THE RACETRACK,

588
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,354
DRINKING MAI TAIS, AND PARTYING

589
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,189
IN OUR FACE?

590
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,591
John: YEAH, YOU CAN SEE WHY

591
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,260
HE MIGHT RESENT TOURISTS.

592
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,361
NO ONE WANTS PEOPLE PARTYING

593
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:28,862
WHILE THEY'RE SUFFERING.

594
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:31,331
IT'S THE MAIN REASON THEY NEVER

595
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:31,865
DID A SEASON OF MTV SPRING

596
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,200
BREAK: KOSOVO.

597
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:34,968
AND IT GOT WORSE, BECAUSE

598
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:35,869
DEVELOPERS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY

599
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,070
STARTED TRYING TO SNATCH UP

600
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,938
PROPERTY THERE.

601
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,439
LAHAINA'S NOW-BARREN

602
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,975
LANDSCAPE IS BEING EYED BY

603
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,443
DEVELOPERS WHO WANT TO REPLACE

604
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,111
THE COMMUNITY WITH LUXURY

605
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,179
PROPERTIES.

606
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,280
TO SOME HERE, IT'S A DARK

607
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,516
IRONY, BECAUSE DEVELOPMENT MAY

608
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,184
HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE

609
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,285
CATASTROPHE HERE.

610
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,386
OVER THE YEARS, TO ACCOMMODATE

611
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,155
THE GROWING TOURISM INDUSTRY,

612
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,657
MUCH OF MAUI'S WATER WAS

613
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,925
DIVERTED TO NEW HOTELS AND GOLF

614
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,360
COURSES AND AWAY FROM

615
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,395
COMMUNITIES LIKE LAHAINA, DRYING

616
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,832
THE TOWN OUT AND TURNING IT INTO

617
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:06,299
A TINDERBOX.

618
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,233
IF YOU WALK RIGHT OVER HERE

619
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,968
WHERE ALL OF THESE HOTELS ARE,

620
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:13,973
EVERYTHING'S GREEN AND LUSH.

621
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,609
AND YOU WALK FROM HERE TO TOWN,

622
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,812
EVERYTHING IS DRY.

623
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,180
John: THAT'S INFURIATING, AND

624
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,015
FOR NATIVE HAWAIIANS IT MUST BE

625
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,516
DIFFICULT TO SHAKE THE FEELING

626
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,151
THAT YOU'RE AN AFTERTHOUGHT,

627
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,519
IT'S LIKE BEING INTRODUCED BY

628
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:27,787
YOUR PARENTS SAYING "THESE ARE

629
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:32,192
OUR SONS TOMMY, AND TOMMY'S

630
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,693
BROTHER," OR HAVING YOUR TV

631
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,528
SHOW ANNOUNCED AS, "STICK AROUND

632
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,229
AFTER HOUSE OF THE DRAGON."

633
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:40,834
I IMAGINE.

634
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,102
I IMAGINE THAT MIGHT BE HURTFUL.

635
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:42,669
IT'S FRANKLY NO WONDER THAT

636
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,236
AROUND TWO-THIRDS OF HAWAII

637
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:43,903
RESIDENTS APPARENTLY BELIEVE

638
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:44,904
THEIR STATE IS BEING RUN FOR

639
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:45,739
TOURISTS AT THE EXPENSE OF

640
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:46,506
LOCALS.

641
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,107
AND THE FACT IS, THE MORE YOU

642
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,041
LOOK AT HAWAII, THE CLEARER IT

643
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,377
BECOMES, THEY'RE NOT WRONG--

644
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,277
BUT IT'S NOT JUST TOURISTS.

645
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,912
HAWAII HAS LONG BEEN RUN FOR THE

646
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,814
BENEFIT OF EVERYONE BUT

647
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:55,315
HAWAIIANS.

648
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,416
SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, LET'S

649
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,418
TALK ABOUT HAWAII.

650
00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,586
AND LET'S START WITH SOME OF ITS

651
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,388
HISTORY-- WHICH ISN'T ACTUALLY

652
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:07,427
TAUGHT MUCH IN AMERICAN SCHOOLS.

653
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,461
SOMETHING THAT'S A LITTLE WEIRD,

654
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,662
GIVEN IT ONLY BECAME A STATE IN

655
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:09,996
LIVING MEMORY.

656
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:10,563
HAWAII WAS FIRST SETTLED BY

657
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:11,364
SEAFARING POLYNESIANS AS EARLY

658
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,032
AS THE YEAR 300.

659
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,233
BUT AT LEAST IN WHITE PEOPLE'S

660
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,668
TELLING, THE REALLY IMPORTANT

661
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:16,302
STUFF DIDN'T HAPPEN TILL AROUND

662
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,804
14 CENTURIES LATER.

663
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:21,141
ON A JANUARY DAY IN THE YEAR

664
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,276
1778, TWO STRANGE SHIPS ANCHORED

665
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,045
OFF THE LEEWARD COAST OF ONE OF

666
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:25,845
THE ISLANDS.

667
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,547
THE FLAG WAS ENGLISH.

668
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,215
THE MAN IN COMMAND WAS CAPTAIN

669
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,450
JAMES COOK.

670
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,752
IN 1835, THE FIRST PERMANENT

671
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,121
PLANTATION WAS ESTABLISHED ON

672
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,691
THE ISLAND OF KAUAI.

673
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:38,925
WITHIN THREE YEARS, THERE WERE

674
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:41,294
20 SUGAR MILLS.

675
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,229
FROM THESE MODEST BEGINNINGS, A

676
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,397
GREAT INDUSTRY WAS TO GROW.

677
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,699
John: NOW, THAT CLIP LEAVES

678
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:47,534
OUT A LOT.

679
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,702
BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNEW

680
00:17:48,702 --> 00:17:50,370
THAT THE SECOND YOU HEARD THE

681
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,773
MOST OMINOUS LINE IN ANY

682
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:54,374
HISTORICAL FILM: "THE FLAG WAS

683
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,175
ENGLISH."

684
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,778
IT'S LIKE SEEING ORANGES IN THE

685
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,846
GODFATHER-- WHEN THE BRITISH

686
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,681
FLAG APPEARS ON AN OLD NEWSREEL,

687
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:02,682
YOU KNOW-- SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO

688
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:05,518
DIE AND SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

689
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,119
THAT FIRST WESTERN CONTACT LED

690
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,520
TO THE ARRIVAL OF TRADERS, AND

691
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:07,954
EVENTUALLY, AMERICAN

692
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:08,988
MISSIONARIES.

693
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,223
WITH THEM CAME DISEASES WHICH

694
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,459
WOULD EVENTUALLY REDUCE THE

695
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:13,093
NATIVE POPULATION BY AS MUCH AS

696
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,361
90%.

697
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,662
DESCENDANTS OF THE MISSIONARIES

698
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,097
SET UP THOSE SUGAR PLANTATIONS,

699
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,132
AND SOON CAME TO DOMINATE

700
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:19,966
POLITICS AND ECONOMIC LIFE ON

701
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,167
THE ISLANDS.

702
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,669
AND WHILE RACIST WRITINGS OF THE

703
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,703
TIME PAINT HAWAII AS A

704
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,838
PRIMITIVE, TYRANICAL SOCIETY,

705
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:26,639
THAT WASN'T THE CASE.

706
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,108
IT WAS A CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY

707
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,343
THAT ACTUALLY BANNED SLAVERY IN

708
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,745
1852-- BEFORE THE U.S. DID--

709
00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:33,313
AND HAD ONE OF THE HIGHEST

710
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,083
LITERACY RATES IN THE WORLD.

711
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:37,684
NEVERTHELESS, IN 1887 A SMALL

712
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,352
GROUP OF WHITE PLANTATION OWNERS

713
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,554
AND BUSINESSMEN FORCED HAWAII'S

714
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,356
KING, AT GUNPOINT, TO SIGN WHAT

715
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,357
BECAME KNOWN AS THE BAYONET

716
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,893
CONSTITUTION, BASICALLY,

717
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:47,494
TRANSFERRING MUCH OF HIS POWER

718
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,661
TO THEM.

719
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,230
WHEN HIS SISTER, QUEEN

720
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,665
LILIOUKALANI, SUCCEEDED HIM, SHE

721
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,233
VOWED TO UNDO THAT-- SO THE

722
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,101
BUSINESSMEN PLANNED A COUP TO

723
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,569
OVERTHROW HER.

724
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,038
FUN FACT: ONE OF THE COUP'S

725
00:18:58,038 --> 00:18:59,339
LEADERS WAS SANFORD DOLE-- OF

726
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,207
THE "PINEAPPLE DOLES"-- AND

727
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:01,841
ALSO, THE ONLY MAN EVER TO HAVE

728
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,510
A MUSTACHE AND A BEARD THAT IS

729
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,279
ALSO A MUSTACHE.

730
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:07,580
HE PUSHED FOR THE U.S. TO ANNEX

731
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,549
THE ISLANDS, AGAINST THE WILL OF

732
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,084
NATIVE HAWAIIANS, WHO COLLECTED

733
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:11,985
OVER 38,000 SIGNATURES TO OPPOSE

734
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,119
IT.

735
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,155
WHICH, CONSIDERING THERE WERE

736
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,756
ABOUT 40,000 NATIVE HAWAIIANS AT

737
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,359
THE TIME, IS A WHOPPING 95%.

738
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,494
BUT DOLE AND HIS CONSPIRATORS

739
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,296
GOT THEIR WAY, AND WITH THE HELP

740
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,030
OF THE U.S. MILITARY, THE QUEEN

741
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,865
WAS OVERTHROWN, AND HAWAII WAS

742
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,134
ANNEXED INTO THE UNITED STATES.

743
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:28,702
ALTHOUGH, AGAIN, WHEN WHITE

744
00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:29,769
PEOPLE TELL THE STORY OF THAT

745
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,705
ERA, IT TENDS TO SOUND A LITTLE

746
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,173
DIFFERENT.

747
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,574
THE QUEEN, LAST OF A LONG

748
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,843
LINE OF POLYNESIAN RULERS,

749
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,545
SIGNED THE APPLICATION THAT MADE

750
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,979
HAWAII AN AMERICAN POSSESSION.

751
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,314
THESE NATIVE TROOPS BECAME

752
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,183
SOLDIERS OF UNCLE SAM.

753
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,517
HAPPY THAT HER ISLAND KINGDOM

754
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,519
BECAME AN AMERICAN PROTECTORATE,

755
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,020
THE QUEEN OF HAWAII BID

756
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,222
FAREWELL.

757
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:50,590
John: "YES, THERE'S THE QUEEN

758
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,392
OF HAWAII NOW, DRESSED IN HER

759
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,494
CELEBRATORY BLACK, SIGNING THE

760
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,795
ISLANDS OVER TO AMERICA

761
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,696
COMPLETELY OF HER OWN FREE WILL

762
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,265
SURROUNDED BY HER CLOSEST

763
00:19:59,265 --> 00:19:59,899
FRIENDS, SEVERAL ARMED WHITE MEN

764
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,902
WITH MUSTACHES."

765
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:03,937
HAWAII EVENTUALLY BECAME

766
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,239
AMERICA'S 50TH STATE IN 1959,

767
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,474
AND 34 YEARS LATER, CONGRESS

768
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,642
PASSED A RESOLUTION FORMALLY

769
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:10,744
APOLOGIZING TO NATIVE HAWAIIANS

770
00:20:10,744 --> 00:20:11,678
FOR THE OVERTHROW OF THE

771
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:12,078
HAWAIIAN KINGDOM.

772
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,180
WHICH IS NICE.

773
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,182
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO SAY "SORRY"

774
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:16,649
FOR THINGS, ISN'T IT?

775
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,118
WHETHER IT'S FOR RUNNING LATE,

776
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,753
OR MAKING YOUR PRETEND WEDDING

777
00:20:19,753 --> 00:20:21,254
TO A CABBAGE NICER THAN YOUR

778
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,589
ACTUAL WEDDING WITH YOUR HUMAN

779
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,524
WIFE OR VIOLENT IMPERIALISM.

780
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:25,091
PEOPLE APPRECIATE A SINCERE

781
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:29,629
APOLOGY.

782
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:30,030
I THINK.

783
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:30,630
BUT DESPITE THAT APOLOGY, OVER

784
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,231
THE PAST CENTURY, A NUMBER OF

785
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,232
GROUPS-- FROM THE U.S.

786
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,299
MILITARY, TO TOURISTS, TO THE

787
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:34,901
EXTREMELY WEALTHY-- HAVE

788
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:35,802
CONTINUED TO EXPLOIT HAWAII.

789
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:36,736
AND LET'S START WITH THE

790
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,104
MILITARY.

791
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,572
HAWAII'S LONG BEEN USED AS A

792
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,540
STRATEGIC MILITARY BASE IN THE

793
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,341
PACIFIC.

794
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,410
THANKS TO MICHAEL BAY, WE ALL

795
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,011
NOW KNOW ABOUT THE TRAGEDIES

796
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,913
SUFFERED BY BEAUTIFUL WHITE

797
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,749
PEOPLE AT PEARL HARBOR.

798
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,550
BUT THE MILITARY'S LONG HAD AN

799
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:52,018
EXTENSIVE PRESENCE IN HAWAII--

800
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,520
MORE THAN YOU MAY EVEN REALIZE.

801
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,255
THERE ARE 12 KEY MILITARY

802
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:55,989
INSTALLATIONS AND BASES ACROSS

803
00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:56,456
THE STATE.

804
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,425
AND IT HASN'T EXACTLY BEEN A

805
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,561
SENSITIVE CUSTODIAN OF THE LAND

806
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,328
THAT IT OCCUPIES.

807
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,296
TAKE THE POHAKULOA TRAINING AREA

808
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,431
A 132,000-ACRE LIVE-FIRE

809
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,066
RANGE ON THE BIG ISLAND OF

810
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:07,634
HAWAII.

811
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,935
MUCH OF IT IS ON FEDERAL LAND

812
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,770
THAT WAS CONFISCATED AFTER

813
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,671
HAWAII WAS ANNEXED.

814
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,074
BUT THE MILITARY ALSO LEASED

815
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,408
SOME MORE LAND FROM THE STATE AT

816
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:16,876
A RIDICULOUSLY LOW RATE, AND--

817
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:17,510
TO PUT IT MILDLY-- HASN'T BEEN

818
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,312
A GREAT TENANT.

819
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,682
IN 1964, THE MILITARY SECURED

820
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,351
A LEASE FOR 30,000 ACRES OF LAND

821
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:26,252
THAT THEY COULD TRAIN ON FOR THE

822
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,922
NEXT 65 YEARS-- ALL FOR $1.

823
00:21:28,922 --> 00:21:30,357
SINCE THEN, THEY'VE DROPPED

824
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:31,191
BOMBS FROM PLANES, LAUNCHED

825
00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:32,659
ROCKETS FROM HELICOPTERS, SHOT

826
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,894
TARGETS WITH MORTARS AND

827
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:35,762
ARTILLERY, AND LEFT BEHIND

828
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:36,463
UNKNOWN AMOUNTS OF UNEXPLODED

829
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,131
ORDNANCE.

830
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,766
THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY?

831
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,267
IT HAPPENS, NOT NECESSARILY

832
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:42,969
EVERY DAY, BUT PRETTY REGULARLY.

833
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,270
IT MUST BE A BIG TASK TO GO

834
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:47,240
IN AND CLEAN ALL THAT UP.

835
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,476
SO, FOR THE-- FOR THE IMPACT

836
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,478
AREA WHERE-- WHERE WE'RE FIRING

837
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:55,915
NOW, WE-- THAT'S-- WE LET

838
00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:56,583
THAT-- WE LET THAT BE.

839
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:57,984
OH!

840
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,019
IT'S NEVER CLEANED?

841
00:21:59,019 --> 00:22:01,588
THE IMPACT AREA IS-- IS--

842
00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:02,989
IS, UH, IS LEFT AS IT IS WHEN WE

843
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:03,823
FIRE IN THERE.

844
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:10,897
AND THAT'S FOR-- THAT'S FOR

845
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:11,464
SAFETY-- SAFETY REASONS.

846
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,098
DOES THAT MEAN, LIKE, DECADES

847
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:12,699
AND DECADES AND NOBODY GOES IN

848
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:13,967
AND PICKS THIS STUFF UP?

849
00:22:13,967 --> 00:22:14,267
CORRECT.

850
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:14,601
John: WOW.

851
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:15,468
SETTING ASIDE THE FACT THE

852
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,170
MILITARY GOT THEIR OWN 65-YEAR

853
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,439
PLAYGROUND FOR $1-- THAT IS

854
00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:20,440
SOME NUCLEAR-GRADE EUPHEMIZING.

855
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,608
THE PLACE WE'VE BEEN BOMBING?

856
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:23,176
THAT'S AN "IMPACT AREA."

857
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:24,978
AND IT'S NOT UNCLEAN, IT'S JUST

858
00:22:24,978 --> 00:22:25,512
"LEFT AS IS," FOR "SAFETY

859
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,546
REASONS."

860
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,214
I COULD WATCH THAT MAN SPIN

861
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:29,649
AWFUL THINGS ALL NIGHT.

862
00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:30,817
"I DIDN'T CHEAT ON MY WIFE, I

863
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,352
MERELY DISCOVERED AN ALTERNATE

864
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,154
PENIS HOLDING AREA.

865
00:22:34,154 --> 00:22:37,057
AND I'M NOT TELLING HER FOR

866
00:22:37,057 --> 00:22:38,291
SAFETY REASONS."

867
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,293
BUT THAT'S BY NO MEANS THE ONLY

868
00:22:40,293 --> 00:22:41,327
PLACE THE MILITARY'S FAILED TO

869
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:42,529
CLEAN UP AFTER ITSELF.

870
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:43,530
AFTER THE ATTACK ON PEARL

871
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,198
HARBOR, THE U.S. TOOK OVER THIS

872
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,599
ISLAND-- SACRED TO NATIVE

873
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,234
HAWAIIANS-- AND USED IT AS A

874
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:49,803
TRAINING GROUND, BOMBING THE

875
00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:51,204
SHIT OUT OF IT.

876
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:51,838
BUT EVEN AFTER ACTIVISTS RISKED

877
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:53,640
THEIR LIVES TO STOP THE BOMBING,

878
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,808
AND A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR EFFORT

879
00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:56,276
TO CLEAN IT UP HAD BEEN

880
00:22:56,276 --> 00:22:58,812
COMPLETED, A FULL QUARTER WAS

881
00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,046
STILL NOT CLEARED.

882
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,115
TO THIS DAY, MORE SHELLS AND

883
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,351
BOMBS ARE SOMETIMES REVEALED BY

884
00:23:04,351 --> 00:23:04,984
EROSION, AND ADDITIONAL ORDNANCE

885
00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:05,985
SOMETIMES WASHES UP ON THE

886
00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:07,153
BEACH.

887
00:23:07,153 --> 00:23:08,788
WHICH REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER IF

888
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:09,589
THAT FAMOUS JESUS AND THE

889
00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:11,124
FOOTPRINTS POEM SHOULD HAVE

890
00:23:11,124 --> 00:23:12,826
ENDED, "AND I TURNED TO JESUS

891
00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:13,960
AND ASKED, THEN WHY WAS THERE

892
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:14,594
WAS ONLY ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS

893
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:18,331
IN THE SAND?

894
00:23:18,331 --> 00:23:19,065
AND JESUS SAID "BECAUSE, MY

895
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:19,699
CHILD, THAT WAS WHEN I JUMPED UP

896
00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:20,934
ON YOUR SHOULDERS BECAUSE THERE

897
00:23:20,934 --> 00:23:22,369
WAS NO FUCKING WAY I WAS GONNA

898
00:23:22,369 --> 00:23:23,103
STEP ON A BOMB.

899
00:23:23,103 --> 00:23:25,772
NO WAY, MY GUY.

900
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:26,873
THEY'RE FUCKING EVERYWHERE!"

901
00:23:26,873 --> 00:23:28,208
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

902
00:23:28,208 --> 00:23:29,809
IN 2002, MIDDLE SCHOOL KIDS

903
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:30,877
WORKING ON THEIR SCHOOL GARDEN

904
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,479
UNCOVERED A LIVE GRENADE, AND

905
00:23:32,479 --> 00:23:34,247
SUBSEQUENTLY, ORDNANCE EXPERTS

906
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,215
FOUND THREE MORE IN THE SAME

907
00:23:35,215 --> 00:23:37,017
AREA.

908
00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:37,884
AND JUST THREE YEARS AGO, THE

909
00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:39,886
MILITARY'S MASSIVE FUEL STORAGE

910
00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:41,121
FACILITY ON OAHU WAS THE SITE OF

911
00:23:41,121 --> 00:23:42,422
A SPILL THAT POISONED A WATER

912
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:44,290
SYSTEM THAT SERVES 93,000

913
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,492
PEOPLE.

914
00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:47,060
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WERE MADE

915
00:23:47,060 --> 00:23:48,895
SICK BY IT, AND THE ENTIRE

916
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:49,529
ISLAND'S WATER SUPPLY WAS PUT AT

917
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:50,563
RISK.

918
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:51,531
THE POINT IS, THE U.S. MILITARY

919
00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:55,402
HAS A PATTERN OF CAUSING AN

920
00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:56,503
ABSOLUTE MESS IN HAWAII, WITH

921
00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:58,905
ACTIVISTS HAVING TO STRUGGLE TO

922
00:23:58,905 --> 00:23:59,806
THEN UNDO THE DAMAGE.

923
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,007
HERE'S ONE LAST EXAMPLE: MAKUA

924
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:01,775
VALLEY, ON OAHU'S WESTERN SHORE.

925
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,244
THE U.S. ARMY SEIZED IT AFTER

926
00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:05,245
PEARL HARBOR, EVICTING LOCAL

927
00:24:05,245 --> 00:24:05,845
FAMILIES WHO'D LIVED THERE FOR

928
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:06,680
GENERATIONS.

929
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,415
AND PROMISED THEIR LANDS WOULD

930
00:24:08,415 --> 00:24:10,016
BE RETURNED TO THEM SIX MONTHS

931
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:11,484
AFTER THE END OF WORLD WAR II.

932
00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,620
BUT IT STILL HASN'T DONE THAT.

933
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,355
INSTEAD, IT'S YET ANOTHER OF

934
00:24:15,355 --> 00:24:17,123
HAWAII'S SACRED SPACES THAT'S

935
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:19,559
BEEN USED FOR TARGET PRACTICE.

936
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:20,760
THANKFULLY, AFTER ACTIVISTS TOOK

937
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,728
THE ARMY TO COURT, THEY FINALLY

938
00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:22,762
GOT THE MILITARY TO STOP.

939
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:25,532
THOUGH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN

940
00:24:25,532 --> 00:24:26,099
THE TWO REMAINS-- TO PUT IT

941
00:24:26,099 --> 00:24:28,301
MILDLY-- STRAINED.

942
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:29,803
ACTIVISTS WITH THE GROUP

943
00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:31,671
MALAMA MAKUA SUED THE ARMY, AND

944
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,173
IN 2004 SUCCESSFULLY GOT IT TO

945
00:24:33,173 --> 00:24:35,475
STOP LIVE-FIRE TRAINING HERE.

946
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:37,610
NOW, THE GROUP IS ALLOWED TO

947
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:38,311
VISIT THE VALLEY-- BUT ONLY

948
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:39,813
TWICE A MONTH.

949
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,415
SO, THE GROUP HAS TO WALK BEHIND

950
00:24:42,415 --> 00:24:43,516
THIS REPRESENTATIVE FROM THE

951
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:44,751
MILITARY WHO FIRST HAS TO SCAN

952
00:24:44,751 --> 00:24:47,120
THE AREA FOR POTENTIAL

953
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,388
UNEXPLODED ORDNANCE.

954
00:24:48,388 --> 00:24:50,523
WE APPRECIATE ACCESS INTO

955
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:53,593
THIS VALLEY, BUT WE DON'T

956
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,462
APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT WE HAVE

957
00:24:55,462 --> 00:24:56,096
TO ASK PERMISSION TO BE IN THIS

958
00:24:56,096 --> 00:24:57,397
VALLEY.

959
00:24:57,397 --> 00:24:58,832
WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO

960
00:24:58,832 --> 00:24:59,432
THE ARMY RIGHT NOW?

961
00:24:59,432 --> 00:25:01,301
THE REALITY IS, IT'S PRETTY

962
00:25:01,301 --> 00:25:03,169
[BLEEP] UP.

963
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,404
SORRY FOR THE SWEARING, BUT IT'S

964
00:25:04,404 --> 00:25:05,739
NOT LIKE WE'RE ALL BEST FRIENDS.

965
00:25:05,739 --> 00:25:06,806
John: OKAY, FIRST, THERE IS

966
00:25:06,806 --> 00:25:08,041
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR

967
00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:09,709
SWEARING.

968
00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:11,111
IF ANYONE'S ENTITLED TO SAY

969
00:25:11,111 --> 00:25:13,046
"FUCK" ON NATIONAL TV, IT SHOULD

970
00:25:13,046 --> 00:25:15,248
BE YOU.

971
00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:15,982
AS FOR "NOT BEST FRIENDS," I GET

972
00:25:15,982 --> 00:25:17,283
IT.

973
00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:17,984
YOU DON'T CALL AN INSTITUTION

974
00:25:17,984 --> 00:25:19,953
WHO STEALS YOUR SHIT THEN MAKES

975
00:25:19,953 --> 00:25:20,954
YOU ASK PERMISSION TO VISIT IT

976
00:25:20,954 --> 00:25:22,689
YOUR BEST FRIEND.

977
00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:24,090
AS WE ALL KNOW, YOU CALL THAT

978
00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:27,260
"THE BRITISH MUSEUM."

979
00:25:27,260 --> 00:25:28,194
BUT AS I SAID-- IT'S NOT JUST

980
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:29,429
THE MILITARY WHO CAN TAKE

981
00:25:29,429 --> 00:25:35,301
PRECEDENCE OVER NATIVE

982
00:25:35,301 --> 00:25:36,169
RESIDENTS OF HAWAIIANS.

983
00:25:36,169 --> 00:25:36,736
THAT'S TRUE OF THE TOURISM

984
00:25:36,736 --> 00:25:37,270
INDUSTRY, TOO-- WHICH IS

985
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:38,338
OBVIOUSLY A BIG PART OF HAWAII'S

986
00:25:38,338 --> 00:25:39,005
ECONOMY, CONTRIBUTING NEARLY 20%

987
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:41,675
OF ITS GDP.

988
00:25:41,675 --> 00:25:42,942
BUT WHILE TOURISTS EXPERIENCE

989
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:43,543
HAWAII AS A CAREFREE VACATION

990
00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:44,210
SPOT, MANY WHO LIVE THERE

991
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,245
EXPERIENCE A VERY DIFFERENT

992
00:25:45,245 --> 00:25:46,713
REALITY.

993
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:49,716
FOR ONE THING, TOURISM JOBS TEND

994
00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:50,316
TO BE PRETTY LOW-WAGE-- WHICH

995
00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:50,884
IS PART OF WHY MORE THAN TWO

996
00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:52,018
THIRDS OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN

997
00:25:52,018 --> 00:25:53,753
HAWAII SHOW SIGNS OF FINANCIAL

998
00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:55,255
STRESS, LIKE WORKING MULTIPLE

999
00:25:55,255 --> 00:25:56,589
JOBS, LIVING WITH RELATIVES, AND

1000
00:25:56,589 --> 00:25:58,425
DIPPING INTO SAVINGS.

1001
00:25:58,425 --> 00:26:00,894
HAWAII DOES SEEM SET UP TO

1002
00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:01,428
BENEFIT WEALTHY OUTSIDERS.

1003
00:26:01,428 --> 00:26:02,929
TAKE HOUSING.

1004
00:26:02,929 --> 00:26:05,565
THERE ARE CURRENTLY 32,000 SHORT

1005
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:06,700
TERM RENTALS ACROSS THE STATE,

1006
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:09,502
MEANING ONE OUT OF EVERY 18

1007
00:26:09,502 --> 00:26:11,037
HOUSING UNITS THERE IS A

1008
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:12,505
VACATION RENTAL, LIKE AN AIRBNB.

1009
00:26:12,505 --> 00:26:14,107
AND A MAJORITY OF THEIR OWNERS

1010
00:26:14,107 --> 00:26:14,774
DON'T EVEN LIVE IN HAWAII.

1011
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:16,776
IN FACT, NEARLY A QUARTER OF

1012
00:26:16,776 --> 00:26:18,511
HAWAIIAN HOMES WERE PURCHASED BY

1013
00:26:18,511 --> 00:26:19,913
BUYERS FROM OUTSIDE THE STATE.

1014
00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:21,214
THAT IS PART OF WHY HAWAII IS

1015
00:26:21,214 --> 00:26:23,083
NOW THE MOST EXPENSIVE STATE IN

1016
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,818
THE NATION FOR HOUSING.

1017
00:26:24,818 --> 00:26:27,120
AND GIVEN THAT, IT'S NOT

1018
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,321
SURPRISING THAT HAWAII HAS

1019
00:26:28,321 --> 00:26:29,456
CONSISTENTLY HAD AMONG THE

1020
00:26:29,456 --> 00:26:30,990
HIGHEST RATES OF HOMELESSNESS IN

1021
00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:34,294
THE NATION, IT'S BEEN AN ISSUE

1022
00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:35,895
THERE FOR YEARS NOW, AS THIS

1023
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:36,896
REPORT FROM 2015 SHOWS.

1024
00:26:36,896 --> 00:26:38,431
WE'VE ACTUALLY BEEN TOLD BY

1025
00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:42,002
SOME OF THE CITY CREWS TO BE

1026
00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:42,902
INVISIBLE, AND IT'S LIKE, HOW DO

1027
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:43,403
YOU WANT US TO DO THAT?

1028
00:26:43,403 --> 00:26:44,704
[LAUGHS]

1029
00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:45,638
SOME OF HAWAII'S HOMELESS

1030
00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,774
PEOPLE USED TO LIVE IN MUCH MORE

1031
00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:51,011
VISIBLE WAIKIKI BEACH.

1032
00:26:51,011 --> 00:26:51,644
OFFICIALS SAID THAT WAS HURTING

1033
00:26:51,644 --> 00:26:52,579
THE TOURIST INDUSTRY, CRUCIAL

1034
00:26:52,579 --> 00:26:56,950
FOR THE LOCAL ECONOMY.

1035
00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:57,884
IT STARTED TO IMPACT OUR

1036
00:26:57,884 --> 00:26:58,551
GUESTS.

1037
00:26:58,551 --> 00:26:59,152
THEY WOULD COMMENT ABOUT IT ON

1038
00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:00,487
TRIPADVISOR AND ELSEWHERE.

1039
00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:01,087
John: OKAY, IT IS SHITTY TO

1040
00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:02,088
TELL HOMELESS PEOPLE TO BE

1041
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:03,923
INVISIBLE, BUT IT'S EXTRA SHITTY

1042
00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:05,291
TO DO SO TO PROTECT YOUR

1043
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,160
TRIPADVISOR REVIEWS.

1044
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,261
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW USELESS

1045
00:27:08,261 --> 00:27:12,999
THEY ARE?

1046
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:13,867
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE OF ONE: "THE

1047
00:27:13,867 --> 00:27:14,534
MUSEUM ITSELF WAS WONDERFUL.

1048
00:27:14,534 --> 00:27:15,168
I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED THAT THE

1049
00:27:15,168 --> 00:27:15,769
ENTRY DISCOUNT ONLY APPLIES TO

1050
00:27:15,769 --> 00:27:16,403
AMERICAN MILITARY."

1051
00:27:16,403 --> 00:27:18,438
"ONE STAR."

1052
00:27:18,438 --> 00:27:19,339
GUESS WHAT THAT WAS FROM?

1053
00:27:19,339 --> 00:27:21,975
THE 9/11 MEMORIAL MUSEUM.

1054
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:23,610
A DIFFERENT ONE-STAR TRIPADVISOR

1055
00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:25,045
REVIEW READS "THIS EXPERIENCE

1056
00:27:25,045 --> 00:27:26,312
PROVES ONCE MORE, THAT NYC IS

1057
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:27,447
BEST LIKENED TO A GILDED

1058
00:27:27,447 --> 00:27:29,549
DUMPSTER THAT IS ROAMING WITH

1059
00:27:29,549 --> 00:27:31,217
EVERY KIND OF VERMIN AS SOON AS

1060
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:32,485
NIGHT HAS BEEN FALLING.

1061
00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:33,987
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR TRUE

1062
00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:35,255
URBANITY, VISIT EUROPE!"

1063
00:27:35,255 --> 00:27:36,322
THAT'S AN ANNOYING THING TO SAY

1064
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,857
ABOUT ANYTHING BUT PARTICULARLY

1065
00:27:37,857 --> 00:27:38,458
IRRITATING CONSIDERING IT'S A

1066
00:27:38,458 --> 00:27:38,992
REVIEW OF, AGAIN, THE 9/11

1067
00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:43,029
MUSEUM.

1068
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:43,863
OR HOW ABOUT A THIRD TRIP

1069
00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:46,066
ADVISOR REVIEW THAT READS

1070
00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:47,400
"ABSOLUTELY WOEFUL AVOID AVOID

1071
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,368
AVOID STAY WELL CLEAR OF THIS

1072
00:27:48,368 --> 00:27:49,636
ESTABLISHMENT" A REVIEW THAT IS

1073
00:27:49,636 --> 00:27:55,675
FOR-- AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW

1074
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:56,242
WHERE THIS IS GOING--

1075
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:57,377
NEW YORK'S TGI FRIDAYS.

1076
00:27:57,377 --> 00:27:58,011
I ADMIT, THE REVIEWS AREN'T 100%

1077
00:27:58,011 --> 00:27:58,912
WRONG.

1078
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,413
BUT IT'S NOT JUST HOUSING COSTS

1079
00:28:00,413 --> 00:28:01,348
FOOD IS INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE

1080
00:28:01,348 --> 00:28:03,116
IN HAWAII.

1081
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,984
THE ISLANDS USED TO BE

1082
00:28:04,984 --> 00:28:06,319
SELF-SUSTAINING, BUT ONE LEGACY

1083
00:28:06,319 --> 00:28:07,487
OF THE SUGAR PLANTATIONS IS THAT

1084
00:28:07,487 --> 00:28:08,888
THEY DESTROYED MUCH OF THE

1085
00:28:08,888 --> 00:28:10,190
AGRICULTURAL DIVERSITY.

1086
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:14,060
AS A RESULT, HAWAII TODAY

1087
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:14,661
IMPORTS 90% OF ITS FOOD, WITH

1088
00:28:14,661 --> 00:28:15,662
RESIDENTS ROUTINELY PAYING SOME

1089
00:28:15,662 --> 00:28:20,500
OF THE HIGHEST PRICES IN THE

1090
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,335
NATION FOR BASIC STAPLES, AS

1091
00:28:22,335 --> 00:28:23,236
THIS WOMAN IN HAWAII EXPLAINS.

1092
00:28:23,236 --> 00:28:23,803
OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW

1093
00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:24,304
MUCH MY GROCERIES COST.

1094
00:28:24,304 --> 00:28:27,007
GALLON OF MILK: $9.

1095
00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:27,307
FIVE APPLES.

1096
00:28:27,307 --> 00:28:28,108
I DID EAT TWO, BECAUSE I WAS

1097
00:28:28,108 --> 00:28:29,109
VERY HUNGRY ON THE WALK HOME.

1098
00:28:29,109 --> 00:28:32,912
$15.

1099
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:34,414
$3 AN APPLE.

1100
00:28:34,414 --> 00:28:35,582
BAG OF GRAPES.

1101
00:28:35,582 --> 00:28:38,918
$17.

1102
00:28:38,918 --> 00:28:41,021
John: $17 IS TOO MUCH FOR

1103
00:28:41,021 --> 00:28:43,023
THAT MANY GRAPES.

1104
00:28:43,023 --> 00:28:43,857
IN FACT, IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ANY

1105
00:28:43,857 --> 00:28:48,862
GRAPES.

1106
00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:49,863
GRAPES ARE TERRIBLE.

1107
00:28:49,863 --> 00:28:50,630
IF YOU DON'T EAT GRAPES IN THREE

1108
00:28:50,630 --> 00:28:51,531
DAYS, THEY JUST SHRIVEL INTO

1109
00:28:51,531 --> 00:28:55,502
SKANKY LITTLE SUGAR BALLOONS.

1110
00:28:55,502 --> 00:28:56,069
LET ME BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS,

1111
00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:56,670
EITHER BE A RAISIN OR A GRAPE,

1112
00:28:56,670 --> 00:28:57,771
I'VE NO PATIENCE FOR YOUR FRUIT

1113
00:28:57,771 --> 00:28:59,239
PUBERTY.

1114
00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:03,610
AND HAWAII'S GOVERNMENT HAS SAID

1115
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:04,277
IT'S ADDRESSING FOOD COSTS-- IN

1116
00:29:04,277 --> 00:29:04,911
2014, ITS GOVERNOR SET A GOAL TO

1117
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:06,046
DOUBLE HAWAII'S FOOD PRODUCTION

1118
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:06,279
BY 2020.

1119
00:29:06,279 --> 00:29:06,680
WHICH SOUNDS GOOD!

1120
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:07,914
BUT IT'S NOT A GREAT SIGN THAT

1121
00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:10,016
HE LATER CHANGED THE TARGET DATE

1122
00:29:10,016 --> 00:29:12,819
TO 2030, AND IT'S NOT CLEAR

1123
00:29:12,819 --> 00:29:13,687
THEY'LL HIT THAT, EITHER.

1124
00:29:13,687 --> 00:29:14,287
BUT MAYBE THE ULTIMATE

1125
00:29:14,287 --> 00:29:15,655
EXPRESSION OF THE EXTENT TO

1126
00:29:15,655 --> 00:29:17,691
WHICH HAWAII IS BEING RESHAPED

1127
00:29:17,691 --> 00:29:18,992
BY WEALTHY OUTSIDERS IS ITS

1128
00:29:18,992 --> 00:29:19,459
GROWING POPULATION OF

1129
00:29:19,459 --> 00:29:22,462
BILLIONAIRES.

1130
00:29:22,462 --> 00:29:24,664
11% OF THE PRIVATE LAND THERE IS

1131
00:29:24,664 --> 00:29:26,900
OWNED BY JUST 37 BILLIONAIRES,

1132
00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:27,634
AMONG THEM LARRY ELLISON, MARK

1133
00:29:27,634 --> 00:29:29,102
ZUCKERBERG, AND OPRAH.

1134
00:29:29,102 --> 00:29:31,104
FOR A SENSE OF JUST HOW MUCH

1135
00:29:31,104 --> 00:29:32,405
LAND SOME OF THEM HAVE, CONSIDER

1136
00:29:32,405 --> 00:29:34,708
THAT, IN 2019, WHEN A DIFFERENT

1137
00:29:34,708 --> 00:29:35,508
BRUSH FIRE BROKE OUT IN MAUI,

1138
00:29:35,508 --> 00:29:37,310
PEOPLE TRYING TO ESCAPE IT WOUND

1139
00:29:37,310 --> 00:29:39,379
UP TWEETING AT OPRAH TO KINDLY

1140
00:29:39,379 --> 00:29:41,047
SHARE THE CODE TO THE GATE FOR

1141
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:43,049
HER PRIVATE ROAD ON HER ESTATE,

1142
00:29:43,049 --> 00:29:46,686
SO FOLKS COULD EVACUATE.

1143
00:29:46,686 --> 00:29:47,354
NOW, TO HER CREDIT, SHE DID THAT

1144
00:29:47,354 --> 00:29:47,887
IMMEDIATELY-- THE STATE'S

1145
00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:48,688
GOVERNOR AT THE TIME EVEN

1146
00:29:48,688 --> 00:29:49,289
TWEETED OUT, "A BIG MAHALO TO

1147
00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:50,490
OPRAH FOR GIVING MAUI COUNTY

1148
00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:51,491
ACCESS TO YOUR PRIVATE ROAD."

1149
00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:54,094
BUT IT STILL FEELS A BIT WEIRD

1150
00:29:54,094 --> 00:29:55,128
THAT PEOPLE HAD TO ASK IN THE

1151
00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,262
FIRST PLACE.

1152
00:29:56,262 --> 00:29:58,465
AND OTHER BILLIONAIRES HAVE GONE

1153
00:29:58,465 --> 00:29:59,899
MUCH FURTHER THAN JUST BUYING

1154
00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:01,334
PARTS OF AN ISLAND.

1155
00:30:01,334 --> 00:30:04,671
THE RUGGED SHORELINE,

1156
00:30:04,671 --> 00:30:05,572
SPARKLING WATERS, AND PRISTINE

1157
00:30:05,572 --> 00:30:07,574
BEACHES ON THE ISLAND OF LANAI

1158
00:30:07,574 --> 00:30:08,842
MAKE THIS FOUR SEASONS RESORT

1159
00:30:08,842 --> 00:30:10,010
ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST

1160
00:30:10,010 --> 00:30:10,477
SOUGHT-AFTER VACATION

1161
00:30:10,477 --> 00:30:12,512
DESTINATIONS.

1162
00:30:12,512 --> 00:30:14,547
BILLIONAIRE FOUNDER OF ORACLE

1163
00:30:14,547 --> 00:30:16,649
CORPORATION LARRY ELLISON LOVED

1164
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:19,552
THE REMOTE HAWAIIAN GETAWAY SO

1165
00:30:19,552 --> 00:30:22,489
MUCH HE BOUGHT IT, ALONG WITH

1166
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:25,125
98% OF THE ENTIRE ISLAND, FOR A

1167
00:30:25,125 --> 00:30:26,259
REPORTED $300 MILLION.

1168
00:30:26,259 --> 00:30:27,794
John: IT'S TRUE.

1169
00:30:27,794 --> 00:30:29,062
LARRY ELLISON BOUGHT VIRTUALLY

1170
00:30:29,062 --> 00:30:31,197
THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF LANAI,

1171
00:30:31,197 --> 00:30:32,665
ALONG WITH MOST OF WHAT'S ON IT.

1172
00:30:32,665 --> 00:30:33,967
MEANING HE NOW OWNS ITS MAIN

1173
00:30:33,967 --> 00:30:35,335
GROCERY STORE, ITS LONE GAS

1174
00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:35,869
STATION, AND THE COMMUNITY

1175
00:30:35,869 --> 00:30:37,404
NEWSPAPER.

1176
00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:38,171
HE'S BASICALLY ALMOST EVERYONE'S

1177
00:30:38,171 --> 00:30:40,140
BOSS AND LANDLORD.

1178
00:30:40,140 --> 00:30:41,741
AND I KNOW IT WENT BY QUICK, BUT

1179
00:30:41,741 --> 00:30:43,076
LET'S AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THIS

1180
00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:43,443
IMAGE.

1181
00:30:43,443 --> 00:30:45,945
THAT'S LARRY ELLISON.

1182
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,113
HE'S 79, AND NO, THAT'S NOT HIS

1183
00:30:47,113 --> 00:30:47,514
DAUGHTER, IT'S HIS

1184
00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:49,582
GRANDDAUGHTER.

1185
00:30:49,582 --> 00:30:50,617
EXCEPT I'M KIDDING, THAT WAS HIS

1186
00:30:50,617 --> 00:30:52,352
GIRLFRIEND THERE.

1187
00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:54,187
SHE'S 33, BY THE WAY.

1188
00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:54,788
MEANING HE WAS 15 WHEN HAWAII

1189
00:30:54,788 --> 00:30:57,657
BECAME A STATE.

1190
00:30:57,657 --> 00:30:58,491
AND SHE WAS 16 WHEN HE BECAME

1191
00:30:58,491 --> 00:30:59,993
ELIGIBLE FOR SOCIAL SECURITY.

1192
00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:02,228
AREN'T FACTS FUN?

1193
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,496
JUST ONE OF MANY STORIES YOU

1194
00:31:03,496 --> 00:31:04,230
PROBABLY WON'T READ IN LANAI'S

1195
00:31:04,230 --> 00:31:07,000
LOCAL NEWSPAPER.

1196
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:07,667
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO

1197
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:09,536
BILLIONAIRES IN HAWAII, NOTHING

1198
00:31:09,536 --> 00:31:10,970
COMPARES TO WHAT'S BEING DONE ON

1199
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:12,672
KAUAI BY MARK ZUCKERBERG, A REAL

1200
00:31:12,672 --> 00:31:14,407
BOY WHO WISHED UPON A STAR TO

1201
00:31:14,407 --> 00:31:17,243
BECOME A WOODEN PUPPET.

1202
00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:18,712
HE'S CURRENTLY BUILDING A

1203
00:31:18,712 --> 00:31:20,046
GIGANTIC COMPOUND THAT

1204
00:31:20,046 --> 00:31:21,381
REPORTEDLY HAS MORE THAN A DOZEN

1205
00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:23,416
BUILDINGS, WITH AT LEAST 30

1206
00:31:23,416 --> 00:31:24,184
BEDROOMS AND BATHROOMS, CENTERED

1207
00:31:24,184 --> 00:31:26,052
AROUND TWO MANSIONS CONNECTED BY

1208
00:31:26,052 --> 00:31:27,420
A TUNNEL THAT BRANCHES INTO A

1209
00:31:27,420 --> 00:31:30,256
5000-SQUARE-FOOT UNDERGROUND

1210
00:31:30,256 --> 00:31:31,725
BUNKER, ALONG WITH A WEB OF 11

1211
00:31:31,725 --> 00:31:32,792
TREEHOUSES CONNECTED BY

1212
00:31:32,792 --> 00:31:34,060
INTRICATE ROPE BRIDGES.

1213
00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:36,696
ZUCKERBERG ALSO HAS A LONG STONE

1214
00:31:36,696 --> 00:31:38,565
WALL AROUND HIS PROPERTY, WHICH

1215
00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:39,699
HAS RUFFLED FEATHERS AMONG MANY

1216
00:31:39,699 --> 00:31:40,433
NATIVE HAWAIIANS, FOR REASONS

1217
00:31:40,433 --> 00:31:42,002
THAT, AS YOU'LL SEE, ARE

1218
00:31:42,002 --> 00:31:44,237
UNDERSTANDABLE.

1219
00:31:44,237 --> 00:31:45,372
SO, THE LAND THAT YOU OWN IS

1220
00:31:45,372 --> 00:31:46,373
JUST ACROSS THIS FENCE RIGHT

1221
00:31:46,373 --> 00:31:47,741
HERE?

1222
00:31:47,741 --> 00:31:49,109
YES.

1223
00:31:49,109 --> 00:31:50,210
BUT MARK ZUCKERBERG HAS PUT

1224
00:31:50,210 --> 00:31:50,810
UP THIS WALL AND FENCE AND IT

1225
00:31:50,810 --> 00:31:51,244
SAYS NO TRESPASSING?

1226
00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:52,012
YEAH.

1227
00:31:52,012 --> 00:31:53,079
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU

1228
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:53,546
TRIED TO GO OVER THAT?

1229
00:31:53,546 --> 00:31:54,314
I'D GET ARRESTED FOR

1230
00:31:54,314 --> 00:31:55,181
TRESPASSING.

1231
00:31:55,181 --> 00:31:56,182
EVEN THOUGH IT'S YOUR LAND?

1232
00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:58,051
YEP.

1233
00:31:58,051 --> 00:31:58,885
THE PROBLEM IS KULEANA LANDS

1234
00:31:58,885 --> 00:32:00,420
ARE PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE

1235
00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:01,021
GENERATIONS WITHOUT A WILL OR

1236
00:32:01,021 --> 00:32:02,255
DEED.

1237
00:32:02,255 --> 00:32:03,590
THE LACK OF PAPER TRAIL MEANS

1238
00:32:03,590 --> 00:32:04,190
SOME DECEDENTS DON'T EVEN KNOW

1239
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:06,259
THEY OWN LAND.

1240
00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:07,927
OTHER TIMES UNDER A COMPLICATED

1241
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:09,162
LEGAL SYSTEM CALLED "QUIET

1242
00:32:09,162 --> 00:32:11,564
TITLE" A BUYER LIKE ZUCKERBERG

1243
00:32:11,564 --> 00:32:12,866
CAN SUE KULEANA OWNERS TO FORCE

1244
00:32:12,866 --> 00:32:14,701
THEM TO SELL THEIR LANDS,

1245
00:32:14,701 --> 00:32:15,301
USUALLY AT AUCTION FOR PENNIES

1246
00:32:15,301 --> 00:32:16,536
ON THE DOLLAR.

1247
00:32:16,536 --> 00:32:18,471
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT HE DID.

1248
00:32:18,471 --> 00:32:19,339
SUING HUNDREDS, AND INFURIATING

1249
00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:21,007
MANY MORE.

1250
00:32:21,007 --> 00:32:22,542
John: YEAH, HE'S SUED

1251
00:32:22,542 --> 00:32:23,877
HUNDREDS OF NATIVE HAWAIIANS

1252
00:32:23,877 --> 00:32:24,978
WITH ANCESTRAL "KULEANA" CLAIMS

1253
00:32:24,978 --> 00:32:26,613
TO THE LAND-- USING A LEGAL

1254
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:28,148
MANEUVER PIONEERED BY WHITE

1255
00:32:28,148 --> 00:32:29,482
SUGAR PLANTERS.

1256
00:32:29,482 --> 00:32:31,384
IT'S THE MOST ON-BRAND

1257
00:32:31,384 --> 00:32:33,353
WHITE-GUY-IN-HAWAII THING HE

1258
00:32:33,353 --> 00:32:35,355
COULD POSSIBLY DO, IS A THING I

1259
00:32:35,355 --> 00:32:36,556
WOULD SAY, IF I HADN'T SEEN

1260
00:32:36,556 --> 00:32:39,426
WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS WAS.

1261
00:32:39,426 --> 00:32:40,760
NOW, ZUCKERBERG ULTIMATELY

1262
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,228
WITHDREW FROM THOSE LAWSUITS,

1263
00:32:42,228 --> 00:32:43,163
WRITING AN OP-ED PROMISING TO

1264
00:32:43,163 --> 00:32:44,898
WORK TOGETHER WITH THE COMMUNITY

1265
00:32:44,898 --> 00:32:49,302
ON A NEW APPROACH.

1266
00:32:49,302 --> 00:32:49,903
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW, NOT ONLY

1267
00:32:49,903 --> 00:32:50,537
DID HE CONTINUE BUYING UP

1268
00:32:50,537 --> 00:32:51,538
PARCELS OF KULEANA LAND HIMSELF,

1269
00:32:51,538 --> 00:32:53,540
HE ALSO CONTINUED TO SUPPORT HIS

1270
00:32:53,540 --> 00:32:55,575
CO-CLAIMANT IN THE LAWSUIT, WHO

1271
00:32:55,575 --> 00:32:56,443
WAS A FRIEND OF HIS, AND VERY

1272
00:32:56,443 --> 00:32:57,577
CONVENIENTLY, A KULEANA OWNER

1273
00:32:57,577 --> 00:32:59,612
WHO WANTED TO BUY OUT THE RIGHTS

1274
00:32:59,612 --> 00:33:01,314
OF ALL THE OTHERS.

1275
00:33:01,314 --> 00:33:01,948
IN THE END, HIS FRIEND WON, AND

1276
00:33:01,948 --> 00:33:03,216
BOUGHT THE DISPUTED PARCELS OF

1277
00:33:03,216 --> 00:33:07,987
LAND FOR $2 MILLION, THOUGH--

1278
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:08,755
AS THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER PUT IT,

1279
00:33:08,755 --> 00:33:10,357
"HOW EXACTLY THE RETIRED COLLEGE

1280
00:33:10,357 --> 00:33:12,325
PROFESSOR PUT TOGETHER OVER $2

1281
00:33:12,325 --> 00:33:13,259
MILLION REMAINS A POINT OF

1282
00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:16,730
CONTENTION."

1283
00:33:16,730 --> 00:33:17,364
AND LOOK, WHO CAN SAY WHERE HE

1284
00:33:17,364 --> 00:33:17,931
GOT THAT MONEY?

1285
00:33:17,931 --> 00:33:20,266
APPARENTLY NOT ME, LEGALLY!

1286
00:33:20,266 --> 00:33:26,373
MAYBE IT JUST FELL OUT OF A

1287
00:33:26,373 --> 00:33:27,240
RANDOM TREEHOUSE SOMEWHERE.

1288
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,141
BUT BASICALLY, IT DOES SEEM LIKE

1289
00:33:28,141 --> 00:33:29,175
THAT "NEW APPROACH FOR THE

1290
00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:30,477
COMMUNITY" ENDED UP WITH

1291
00:33:30,477 --> 00:33:31,011
ZUCKERBERG GETTING WHAT HE

1292
00:33:31,011 --> 00:33:32,479
WANTED ANYWAY.

1293
00:33:32,479 --> 00:33:33,813
AND BILLIONAIRES LIKE HIM WILL

1294
00:33:33,813 --> 00:33:35,315
INSIST THEY CONTRIBUTE TO LOCAL

1295
00:33:35,315 --> 00:33:35,915
CHARITIES AND HELP THE ECONOMY

1296
00:33:35,915 --> 00:33:41,254
THERE.

1297
00:33:41,254 --> 00:33:44,691
BUT IT'S THE LARGER KIND OF

1298
00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:46,326
DYNAMIC HERE WHERE WEALTHY

1299
00:33:46,326 --> 00:33:47,827
OUTSIDERS CAN OUTPURCHASE AND

1300
00:33:47,827 --> 00:33:48,895
OUTMANEUVER A LOCAL POPULATION

1301
00:33:48,895 --> 00:33:49,529
THAT CAN BE SO DISPIRITING.

1302
00:33:49,529 --> 00:33:50,196
AND IT'S INSTRUCTIVE TO CONTRAST

1303
00:33:50,196 --> 00:33:50,830
THE EASE WITH WHICH BILLIONAIRES

1304
00:33:50,830 --> 00:33:51,865
CAN SNAP UP WHOLE ISLANDS IN

1305
00:33:51,865 --> 00:33:52,465
HAWAII, WITH HOW DIFFICULT IT

1306
00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:54,167
CAN BE FOR NATIVE HAWAIIANS TO

1307
00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:55,535
NAVIGATE EVEN PROGRAMS DESIGNED

1308
00:33:55,535 --> 00:33:56,269
FOR THEM.

1309
00:33:56,269 --> 00:33:57,570
TAKE THE "HAWAIIAN HOME LANDS"

1310
00:33:57,570 --> 00:33:58,805
PROGRAM, ESTABLISHED TO PROVIDE

1311
00:33:58,805 --> 00:34:01,474
HOMESTEADS TO NATIVE HAWAIIANS.

1312
00:34:01,474 --> 00:34:03,043
AS A FORM OF REPARATION,

1313
00:34:03,043 --> 00:34:04,077
CONGRESS CREATED A TRUST OF OVER

1314
00:34:04,077 --> 00:34:06,112
200,000 ACRES FOR IT.

1315
00:34:06,112 --> 00:34:07,947
BUT THERE ARE SOME HUGE CAVEATS.

1316
00:34:07,947 --> 00:34:09,549
NOT ONLY WAS IT CHRONICALLY

1317
00:34:09,549 --> 00:34:11,818
UNDERFUNDED FROM THE START, SOME

1318
00:34:11,818 --> 00:34:13,153
OF THE LAND SET ASIDE IS

1319
00:34:13,153 --> 00:34:13,420
UNUSABLE.

1320
00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:14,220
IN FACT, ON THE BIG ISLAND,

1321
00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:15,388
HUNDREDS OF NATIVE HAWAIIANS

1322
00:34:15,388 --> 00:34:16,623
HAVE BEEN AWARDED PLOTS OF LAND,

1323
00:34:16,623 --> 00:34:18,892
BUT CAN'T BUILD HOMES THERE

1324
00:34:18,892 --> 00:34:19,993
BECAUSE THE LAND IS SITTING

1325
00:34:19,993 --> 00:34:21,661
WITHIN A FUCKING UNEXPLODED

1326
00:34:21,661 --> 00:34:23,196
ORDNANCE ZONE.

1327
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:23,963
WHAT'S MORE, THE WAIT LIST IS

1328
00:34:23,963 --> 00:34:25,799
29,000 PEOPLE LONG.

1329
00:34:25,799 --> 00:34:26,900
AND AS THIS WOMAN WILL TELL YOU

1330
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:29,436
YOU CAN BE ON IT FOR A WHILE.

1331
00:34:29,436 --> 00:34:31,438
YOU'LL SEE THIS, WHERE IT

1332
00:34:31,438 --> 00:34:32,505
LISTS AS OF DECEMBER 2020, THE

1333
00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:34,307
DIFFERENT ISLANDS.

1334
00:34:34,307 --> 00:34:35,108
YOU CAN SEE THE MAUI WAITLIST

1335
00:34:35,108 --> 00:34:38,745
HERE.

1336
00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:41,548
I WENT ON THE WAITLIST IN 2002.

1337
00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,750
THIS IS 2021.

1338
00:34:43,750 --> 00:34:45,185
SO, 19 YEARS I'VE BEEN ON MAUI'S

1339
00:34:45,185 --> 00:34:46,553
WAITLIST.

1340
00:34:46,553 --> 00:34:47,287
SO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEM TO

1341
00:34:47,287 --> 00:34:49,622
GIVE ME A LOT.

1342
00:34:49,622 --> 00:34:50,657
WHEN THAT HAPPENS, IN MY

1343
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:53,193
LIFETIME, YOU THINK?

1344
00:34:53,193 --> 00:34:55,195
PROBABLY NOT.

1345
00:34:55,195 --> 00:34:56,763
John: YEAH, PROBABLY NOT!

1346
00:34:56,763 --> 00:34:57,330
AND THAT'S ABSURD.

1347
00:34:57,330 --> 00:35:04,404
SHE'S WAITED 19 YEARS.

1348
00:35:06,906 --> 00:35:07,607
THINK ABOUT HOW FRUSTRATING IT

1349
00:35:07,607 --> 00:35:08,475
CAN BE TO STARE AT YOUR PHONE

1350
00:35:08,475 --> 00:35:09,843
WAITING WHEN YOUR UBEREATS

1351
00:35:09,843 --> 00:35:10,310
DRIVER IS RUNNING SIX

1352
00:35:10,310 --> 00:35:10,643
MINUTES LATE.

1353
00:35:10,643 --> 00:35:11,378
NOW IMAGINE THAT SIX MINUTES IS

1354
00:35:11,378 --> 00:35:11,945
19 YEARS, AND YOUR SPAGHETTI

1355
00:35:11,945 --> 00:35:12,479
VONGOLE IS A HOME IN YOUR

1356
00:35:12,479 --> 00:35:13,546
ANCESTRAL HOMELAND.

1357
00:35:13,546 --> 00:35:14,414
AND WHEN YOU TAKE EVERYTHING

1358
00:35:14,414 --> 00:35:15,382
YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT-- THE

1359
00:35:15,382 --> 00:35:16,082
COST-OF-LIVING CRISIS, THE LOW

1360
00:35:16,082 --> 00:35:17,617
WAGES OF A TOURISM-DOMINANT

1361
00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:19,119
ECONOMY, THE OFF-CHANCE OF BEING

1362
00:35:19,119 --> 00:35:20,520
EXPLODED OR POISONED BY THE U.S.

1363
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,722
MILITARY-- IT'S NO WONDER THAT

1364
00:35:22,722 --> 00:35:23,857
MANY ARE SIMPLY CHOOSING TO

1365
00:35:23,857 --> 00:35:25,191
LEAVE THE ISLANDS-- IN FACT,

1366
00:35:25,191 --> 00:35:27,560
"EACH YEAR, 15,000 NATIVE

1367
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:28,395
HAWAIIANS LEAVE THE STATE FOR

1368
00:35:28,395 --> 00:35:30,330
THE MAINLAND, WHICH NOW BOASTS A

1369
00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:31,498
LARGER HAWAIIAN POPULATION THAN

1370
00:35:31,498 --> 00:35:33,633
HAWAII ITSELF."

1371
00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:34,934
SO, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

1372
00:35:34,934 --> 00:35:36,202
WELL, WHEN A SITUATION'S THIS

1373
00:35:36,202 --> 00:35:38,371
COMPLICATED, AND TOOK THIS LONG

1374
00:35:38,371 --> 00:35:39,472
TO DEVELOP, THERE AREN'T GOING

1375
00:35:39,472 --> 00:35:40,807
TO BE QUICK AND EASY SOLUTIONS.

1376
00:35:40,807 --> 00:35:42,108
BUT THERE ARE STILL SOME OBVIOUS

1377
00:35:42,108 --> 00:35:43,710
STEPS WE COULD TAKE.

1378
00:35:43,710 --> 00:35:46,780
WHEN IT COMES TO THE MILITARY'S

1379
00:35:46,780 --> 00:35:48,148
ABSURD, $1, 65-YEAR LEASES ON

1380
00:35:48,148 --> 00:35:50,083
STATE LANDS, THEY ACTUALLY

1381
00:35:50,083 --> 00:35:52,085
EXPIRE IN 2029 AND WHILE THE

1382
00:35:52,085 --> 00:35:53,687
MILITARY'S CURRENTLY TRYING TO

1383
00:35:53,687 --> 00:35:54,854
RENEW THEM OVER THE OBJECTIONS

1384
00:35:54,854 --> 00:35:56,523
OF MANY LOCALS, I'D ARGUE THAT

1385
00:35:56,523 --> 00:35:59,025
PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.

1386
00:35:59,025 --> 00:35:59,893
AS FOR HAWAII'S HOUSING CRISIS,

1387
00:35:59,893 --> 00:36:01,194
THERE ARE, AGAIN, SOME SMALL

1388
00:36:01,194 --> 00:36:02,962
WAYS TO ADDRESS THAT RIGHT NOW

1389
00:36:02,962 --> 00:36:03,963
INCLUDING RESTRICTING

1390
00:36:03,963 --> 00:36:06,066
SHORT-TERM RENTALS OR SECOND

1391
00:36:06,066 --> 00:36:08,068
HOMES, AND MAKING SURE WHAT'S

1392
00:36:08,068 --> 00:36:09,336
BUILT BY DEVELOPERS IS ACTUALLY

1393
00:36:09,336 --> 00:36:10,970
AFFORDABLE FOR RESIDENTS.

1394
00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:11,905
AND IN GENERAL, I'D ARGUE THE

1395
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:13,106
STATE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE

1396
00:36:13,106 --> 00:36:14,708
FOCUSED ON GROWING A MORE

1397
00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:15,942
DIVERSE AND BALANCED LOCAL

1398
00:36:15,942 --> 00:36:19,145
ECONOMY, INSTEAD OF PRIORITIZING

1399
00:36:19,145 --> 00:36:19,746
TOURISM AT THE EXPENSE OF ALL

1400
00:36:19,746 --> 00:36:20,380
ELSE.

1401
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:22,048
IN THE WAKE OF LAST YEAR'S

1402
00:36:22,048 --> 00:36:23,183
FIRES, THERE WAS A LOT OF TALK

1403
00:36:23,183 --> 00:36:25,185
OF "HELPING MAUI REBUILD," BUT

1404
00:36:25,185 --> 00:36:27,454
MAYBE THE QUESTION WE SHOULD BE

1405
00:36:27,454 --> 00:36:30,023
ASKING IS, "FOR WHO, EXACTLY?"

1406
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:30,690
AND TO THEIR CREDIT, SOME

1407
00:36:30,690 --> 00:36:31,758
COMMUNITY-LED GROUPS LIKE THESE

1408
00:36:31,758 --> 00:36:34,194
HAVE BEEN HARD AT WORK IN

1409
00:36:34,194 --> 00:36:35,228
LAHAINA TO MAKE SURE THE

1410
00:36:35,228 --> 00:36:36,763
COMMUNITY DOESN'T END UP

1411
00:36:36,763 --> 00:36:37,797
PERMANENTLY DISPLACED, AND GETS

1412
00:36:37,797 --> 00:36:39,332
A REAL SAY IN WHAT THE FUTURE

1413
00:36:39,332 --> 00:36:40,500
THERE LOOKS LIKE.

1414
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,368
HONESTLY, WHEN IT COMES TO

1415
00:36:41,368 --> 00:36:42,669
DETERMINING THE FUTURE OF

1416
00:36:42,669 --> 00:36:43,703
HAWAII, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE

1417
00:36:43,703 --> 00:36:44,904
LISTENING LESS TO OUTSIDERS LIKE

1418
00:36:44,904 --> 00:36:46,306
ME, AND MORE TO GROUPS LIKE

1419
00:36:46,306 --> 00:36:46,940
THESE.

1420
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:48,441
AND FINALLY, WHEN IT COMES TO

1421
00:36:48,441 --> 00:36:50,243
TOURISM-- IF YOU'RE WATCHING

1422
00:36:50,243 --> 00:36:51,611
THIS THINKING, "I WANTED TO TAKE

1423
00:36:51,611 --> 00:36:54,180
A VACATION TO HAWAII, SHOULD I

1424
00:36:54,180 --> 00:36:55,015
GO?"

1425
00:36:55,015 --> 00:36:56,549
WELL, AS YOU'VE SEEN, MANY

1426
00:36:56,549 --> 00:36:59,052
PEOPLE THERE DO DEPEND ON THE

1427
00:36:59,052 --> 00:37:00,220
TOURISM INDUSTRY, WITH OTHERS

1428
00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:02,288
JUSTIFIABLY INFURIATED BY HOW

1429
00:37:02,288 --> 00:37:03,723
IT'S EXACERBATED SO MANY

1430
00:37:03,723 --> 00:37:04,924
PROBLEMS HAWAII'S BEEN

1431
00:37:04,924 --> 00:37:05,925
STRUGGLING WITH.

1432
00:37:05,925 --> 00:37:06,793
I WILL SAY, THOUGH-- THE

1433
00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:07,994
SOLUTION'S NOT GOING TO COME

1434
00:37:07,994 --> 00:37:08,561
DOWN TO ANY SINGLE TRIP YOU

1435
00:37:08,561 --> 00:37:09,829
MIGHT TAKE.

1436
00:37:09,829 --> 00:37:10,363
IT'S GOING TO REQUIRE MUCH

1437
00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:13,600
BIGGER, SYSTEMIC CHOICES.

1438
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,167
THAT SAID, IF YOU DO END UP

1439
00:37:14,167 --> 00:37:15,568
VISITING, TRY TO BE AWARE OF THE

1440
00:37:15,568 --> 00:37:18,104
HISTORY OF WHAT YOU'RE STEPPING

1441
00:37:18,104 --> 00:37:19,105
INTO-- A HISTORY I REALIZE MOST

1442
00:37:19,105 --> 00:37:20,774
OF US WERE NEVER TAUGHT-- AND

1443
00:37:20,774 --> 00:37:22,342
REMEMBER THAT YOUR VACATION SPOT

1444
00:37:22,342 --> 00:37:23,643
IS SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME.

1445
00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:26,680
ALSO, A FEW EXTRA TIPS: DON'T

1446
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,915
TAKE ANY ROCKS, DEFINITELY DON'T

1447
00:37:28,915 --> 00:37:32,218
SEND ANY BACK WITH A NOTE, AND

1448
00:37:32,218 --> 00:37:33,420
IF YOU SEE A NUN ON A LADDER ON

1449
00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:34,120
A SUNDAY, SHOOT HER BEFORE SHE

1450
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,022
SHOOTS YOU.

1451
00:37:36,022 --> 00:37:38,525
THAT'S JUST COMMON SENSE.

1452
00:37:38,525 --> 00:37:39,793
AND NOW, THIS.

1453
00:37:39,793 --> 00:37:45,732
Announcer: AND NOW,

1454
00:37:45,732 --> 00:37:47,033
THE DELIGHTFULLY BIZARRE MUSINGS

1455
00:37:47,033 --> 00:37:51,171
OF PHILLIES CALL COLOR

1456
00:37:51,171 --> 00:37:51,471
COMMENTATOR.

1457
00:37:51,471 --> 00:37:52,706
NOW THAT WE THINK ABOUT THIS

1458
00:37:52,706 --> 00:37:55,642
NOW THAT WE HAVE SOME TIME, WHY

1459
00:37:55,642 --> 00:37:56,643
ARE WE BORN WITH HAIR ON OUR

1460
00:37:56,643 --> 00:37:58,912
CHEST AS MEN?

1461
00:37:58,912 --> 00:38:00,280
I DON'T KNOW THAT.

1462
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,550
WHY DOES IT WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE

1463
00:38:03,550 --> 00:38:05,352
16, 17, 18, 20.

1464
00:38:05,352 --> 00:38:08,888
AND THEN IT STARTS GROWING.

1465
00:38:08,888 --> 00:38:10,190
WHERE THE FOLLICLES DORM >>

1466
00:38:10,190 --> 00:38:11,191
THERE'S NOT A LOT OF SHOWS I

1467
00:38:11,191 --> 00:38:14,227
WATCH WITH THE KIDS.

1468
00:38:14,227 --> 00:38:16,229
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK

1469
00:38:16,229 --> 00:38:16,629
WHICH ONE IT IS.

1470
00:38:16,629 --> 00:38:18,898
I CAN TELL YOU.

1471
00:38:18,898 --> 00:38:21,301
ALL THE KID WAS COMPLAIN.

1472
00:38:21,301 --> 00:38:26,573
I USED TO DO STUFF WITH ESPN ON

1473
00:38:26,573 --> 00:38:26,940
ANIMAL KINGDOM.

1474
00:38:26,940 --> 00:38:31,277
OPEN UP THE SHAPE.

1475
00:38:31,277 --> 00:38:36,016
IF THERE IS A GIRAFFE OPENING LOOKING IN

1476
00:38:36,016 --> 00:38:36,282
MY WINDOW.

1477
00:38:36,282 --> 00:38:38,084
DID YOU FEED IT ANYTHING?

1478
00:38:38,084 --> 00:38:39,552
I DID NOT.

1479
00:38:39,552 --> 00:38:41,087
KENNY PIERCE SAID I NEED MY

1480
00:38:41,087 --> 00:38:43,023
GIRLFRIEND TO GET UP HERE.

1481
00:38:43,023 --> 00:38:45,392
WE GO DOWN AND PICK HER UP, HER

1482
00:38:45,392 --> 00:38:46,960
DAD COMES WITH A SHOTGUN TRYING

1483
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:47,594
TO SHOOT US.

1484
00:38:47,594 --> 00:38:50,830
IT DID I TELL HER ABOUT THE

1485
00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:53,199
PRISON TEAM WHEN I'M PLAYING

1486
00:38:53,199 --> 00:38:53,500
WINTER BALL?

1487
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:55,735
I SAID WHAT DID HE DO?

1488
00:38:55,735 --> 00:39:00,974
HE SAID HE FOUND HER GIRLFRIEND

1489
00:39:00,974 --> 00:39:01,608
CHEATING IN THE CAR.

1490
00:39:01,608 --> 00:39:05,612
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT.

1491
00:39:05,612 --> 00:39:07,580
John: THAT'S OUR SHOW,

1492
00:39:07,580 --> 00:39:08,682
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.

1493
00:39:08,682 --> 00:39:12,385
WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

1494
00:39:12,385 --> 00:39:12,919
GOOD NIGHT!

1495
00:39:12,919 --> 00:39:13,820
♪ ♪