♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"!
I'M JOHN OLIVER, THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR JOINING US.
WE ARE BACK!
AND WE'VE MISSED A LOT IN TWO
MONTHS, FROM RON DeSANTIS ENDING
HIS CAMPAIGN, TO NIKKI HALEY
LOSING THE NEVADA PRIMARY TO
"NONE OF THESE CANDIDATES."
BUT THE STORY I'M MOST SAD TO
HAVE MISSED CONCERNED THE SUDDEN
MANIA OF A HOLE SHAPED LIKE
A RAT ON A CHICAGO STREET, OR
"RAT HOLE" AS IT BECAME KNOWN.
WHICH PROBABLY PEAKED WITH THIS.
>> YOU KNEW IT WAS INEVITABLE, A
CHICAGO RAT HOLE WEDDING.
>> WEDDING BELLS ON SATURDAY AT
WHAT'S BECOME CHICAGO'S HOTTEST
TOURIST ATTRACTION: THE CHICAGO
RAT HOLE.
RAJ AND HIS PARTNER LOOKED AT A
LOT OF CHICAGO LANDMARKS FOR
THEIR WEDDING, UNTIL 9 DAYS AGO
WHEN HE SAW THE STORY OF THE
CHICAGO RAT HOLE.
>> WE WERE VIEWING A LOT OF
DIFFERENT VENUES, A LOT OF
DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW, BIG
MONUMENTS IN CHICAGO, AND
FINALLY WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER
AND WE WERE LIKE, "HEY, LET'S
GET MARRIED AT THE RAT HOLE."
>> John: YES.
LOOK, SAY WHAT YOU WILL.
THAT MARRIAGE IS GOING TO LAST
FOREVER.
BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS A
RELATIONSHIP IS SOLID LIKE
WAITING UNTIL "9 FUCKING DAYS"
BEFORE YOUR WEDDING DAY TO PICK
A VENUE, THEN LOOKING INTO EACH
OTHER'S EYES AND BOTH SAYING,
"LET'S GET MARRIED AT THE RAT
HOLE."
THAT IS TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE.
THE HOLE'S EMERGENCE AS A
TOURIST ATTRACTION BECAME A BIT
OF A NUISANCE FOR NEIGHBORS,
THOUGH -- WHICH MAY EXPLAIN WHY,
SHORTLY BEFORE THAT WEDDING,
THIS HAPPENED.
>> AT SOME POINT TODAY OR
YESTERDAY, SOMEONE FILLED IN
CHICAGO'S MOST FAMOUS CONCRETE
ATTRACTION.
>> WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS WHEN
YOU CAME TO THE RAT HOLE AND YOU
SAW IT WAS FILLED IN WITH
CONCRETE?
>> I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
EVERYONE'S TRYING TO BLOCK OUR
GOOD TIME.
>> John: EXACTLY.
SHE'S RIGHT.
LET US ENJOY ONE THING.
JUST ONE THING.
FILLING IN THE RAT HOLE IS A
GRAVE INJUSTICE -- BOTH
FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY.
AND LOOK, I'D LOVE TO SPEND THIS
ENTIRE EPISODE TALKING ABOUT RAT
HOLES.
GOD KNOWS I'VE DONE IT BEFORE!
BUT SADLY, THERE'S MORE TO CATCH
UP ON.
IN RUSSIA, PUTIN'S BEEN BUSY.
ONE OF HIS MOST PROMINENT
CRITICS, ALEXEI NAVALNY, DIED IN
A SIBERIAN PRISON THIS WEEK, FOR
REASONS ANY IDIOT CAN FIGURE
OUT.
MAKING IT A BIT AWKWARD THAT
LAST WEEK, NOTED IDIOT TUCKER
CARLSON SAT DOWN WITH PUTIN FOR
A FAWNING INTERVIEW, IN WHICH HE
FAILED TO MEANINGFULLY CHALLENGE
HIM.
TUCKER WAS SO DOCILE, EVEN PUTIN
LATER MADE FUN OF HIM.
>> I HONESTLY THOUGHT HE'D BE
AGGRESSIVE, ASKING THESE
SO-CALLED SHARP QUESTIONS.
I WASN'T SIMPLY READY FOR IT, I
WANTED IT.
BECAUSE IT WOULD GIVE ME A
CHANCE TO RESPOND EQUALLY
SHARPLY, WHICH, IN MY VIEW,
WOULD GIVE SPECIFICITY TO OUR
ENTIRE CONVERSATION.
BUT HE CHOSE A DIFFERENT TACTIC.
FRANKLY SPEAKING, I DIDN'T GET
COMPLETE PLEASURE FROM THIS
INTERVIEW.
>> John: WOW, THERE IS
EMBARRASSING, AND THEN THERE'S
"GETTING ROASTED BY PUTIN FOR
BEING A LAPDOG" EMBARRASSING.
ALSO, WHY ON EARTH DID HE THINK
THERE'D BE SHARP QUESTIONS?
IF WHOEVER PREPPED PUTIN FOR
THAT INTERVIEW SAID ANYTHING
OTHER THAN, "HEY YOU'RE ABOUT TO
TALK TO THE DUMBEST BROOKS
BROTHER, SO FEEL FREE TO TAKE A
NAP," THEY SHOULD BE FIRED.
MEANWHILE, IN THE MIDDLE EAST,
ISRAEL CONTINUED ITS ASSAULT ON
GAZA, WITH OVER 28,000
PALESTINIANS NOW DEAD, MOST OF
THEM WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
THIS WEEK SAW ATTACKS IN RAFAH,
THE CITY THAT STANDS AS THE LAST
REFUGE FOR GAZAN CIVILIANS.
AND YET, THE US REFUSES TO
CURTAIL MILITARY AID TO ISRAEL,
INSTEAD OFFERING TEPID REBUKES,
LIKE BIDEN SAYING ISRAEL'S
ACTIONS ARE "OVER THE TOP,"
WHILE THE WHITE HOUSE LEAKS
THAT, PRIVATELY, THE PRESIDENT'S
ACTUALLY VERY UPSET.
>> PART OF WHAT THE PRESIDENT IS
SAYING, ACCORDING TO PEOPLE
WHO'VE HEARD HIM MAKE THESE
COMMENTS, IS THAT NET --
NETANYAHU IS, QUOTE, "GIVING HIM
HELL," THAT HE'S IMPOSSIBLE TO
DEAL WITH.
WE'RE ALSO TOLD ON THREE, AT
LEAST THREE INSTANCES, THE
PRESIDENT REFERRED TO NETANYAHU
AS AN A-HOLE.
>> John: WHOA, CAREFUL THERE,
JOE.
WHAT IF BIBI HEARS YOU?
NOTHING SHAMES THE GUY
COMFORTABLE WITH BOMBING
HOSPITALS AND REFUGEE CAMPS LIKE
KNOWING THAT 6,000 MILES AWAY,
AN 81 YEAR OLD IS MUTTERING
PG-13 WORDS UNDER HIS BREATH?
WHAT'S NEXT?
IS BIDEN GOING TO WHISPER "WHAT
A DICK" INTO A SEASHELL AND TOSS
IT INTO THE OCEAN?
AND BIDEN'S REPORTEDLY SAID
WORSE, WHICH AMERICAN TV DANCED
AROUND, BUT ARABIC-LANGUAGE AL
JAZEERA DELIVERED THE QUOTE IN
FULL.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO TRANSLATE
THIS FOR YOU, BUT YOU'LL KNOW
THE PHRASE WHEN YOU HEAR IT.
>> [SPEAKING IN A NON-ENGLISH
LANGUAGE]
FUCKING BAD GUY.
>> John: YEAH, BIDEN APPARENTLY
CALLED NETANYAHU, "A BAD FUCKING
GUY."
AND LOOK, YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED
TO SAY THAT ABOUT NETANYAHU
UNCENSORED ON AMERICAN TV.
BECAUSE I GUARANTEE, IT'S COMING
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF GAZANS AND
FAMILIES OF THE HOSTAGES NONSTOP
RIGHT NOW.
MEANWHILE, THE PRESIDENT'S
LIKELY OPPONENT IN NOVEMBER HAS
BEEN TAKING A BREAK BETWEEN
COURT DATES AND ACCUMULATING
MASSIVE FINANCIAL PENALTIES TO
OFFER HIS OWN PLANS FOR
INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS.
FIRST SAYING THAT, IF NATO
MEMBERS DON'T "PAY THEIR BILLS"
-- WHICH ISN'T A THING -- HE'D
ENCOURAGE RUSSIA TO "DO WHATEVER
THE HELL THEY WANT."
THEN HE SUGGESTED AID TO UKRAINE
SHOULD ACTUALLY BE A LOAN, THEN
GOT DISTRACTED, THEN DISTRACTED
AGAIN FROM HIS ORIGINAL
DISTRACTION.
>> WHY SHOULD YOU JUST HAND IT
OVER TO 'EM?
DO IT AS A FORM OF A LOAN.
I DO THAT WITH ATHLETES, THEY
CAN'T QUITE, LIKE A PROFESSIONAL
GOLFER WHO I THINK IS VERY GOOD,
THEY DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, BUT
THEY HAVE A LOT OF TALENT.
I'LL SAY HERE'S THE DEAL, I DID
IT WITH A NUMBER OF PEOPLE,
HERE'S THE DEAL, WHAT I WANNA DO
PROFESSIONAL GOLFER, PLAY GOLF,
I PLAY VERY NICE.
DID YOU SEE THE PICTURE OF ME,
THE HORRIBLE PICTURE WITH THE
STOMACH OUT TO HERE?
THAT WAS...
SO WHAT I DO IS, I'M PUTTING UP
TODAY A PICTURE OF ME, ACTUALLY,
WHAT I ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE,
HITTING A BALL, SMASHING THE
FRICKING BALL, AND YOU'LL SEE
QUITE -- I WOULDN'T SAY SLIM.
I WOULDN'T SAY SLIM.
BUT NOT BAD.
BUT THE BALL DOES GO FAR.
I WOULD SAY IT GOES ABOUT NINE
TIMES FURTHER THAN BIDEN CAN HIT
IT.
>> John: WHAT?
I HAVEN'T WATCHED TRUMP SPEAK IN
SO LONG I HONESTLY FORGOT HOW
ABSOLUTELY JAM-PACKED WITH
NONSENSE EVERY SENTENCE IS.
IT'S THE LITTLE DETAILS, LIKE
THE WAY HE SUDDENLY YELLED
"HAND!
IT OVER TO THEM," AS IF A GHOST
JABBED HIM IN THE RIBS
MID-SENTENCE.
I DON'T WANT TO BE OVERDRAMATIC
HERE, BUT THE IDEA OF WATCHING
CLIPS OF HIM TALKING EVERY WEEK
FOR THE NEXT YEAR MAKES ME WANT
TO BOOK A TRIP ON THE NEXT TITAN
SUBMERSIBLE.
AND I KNOW NO ONE WATCHING THIS
NEEDS A REMINDER THAT WE HAVE A
LONG, GRIM ELECTION YEAR AHEAD
OF US.
BUT KEEP IN MIND.
IT'S ONLY FEBRUARY.
WE NEED TO PACE OURSELVES, OR
WE'RE GOING TO GET BURNED OUT,
AND WANT TO CRAWL INTO A SMALL
HOLE AND WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER.
ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, IF THAT
DOES HAPPEN.
I KNOW A PRETTY GOOD HOLE IN
CHICAGO THAT'S APPARENTLY
AVAILABLE.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW,
CELEBRATING HIS FAVORITE
HOLIDAY.
>> UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS A
LITTLE BIT LIKE THE MOVIE
GROUNDHOG'S DAY.
>> SOME DAYS IT SEEMS LIKE THE
MOVIE GROUNDHOG DAY.
>> INTEGRATIONS BECOMING THE
"GROUNDHOG DAY" OF THE
UNITED STATES SENATE.
>>IT'S KIND OF "GROUNDHOG DAY"
AGAIN.
YESTERDAY WE HAD "GROUNDHOG DAY"
"GROUNDHOG DAY," MY FIRST CHARGE
IS A DEPICTION.
IN THE PAST I COMPARED THIS
CONSTANT REPETITION TO A FILM
CALLED "GROUNDHOG DAY."
STARRING BILL MURRAY, WE ARE
BILL MURRAY'S CHARACTER RELIVES
THE SAME DAY OVER AND OVER
AGAIN.
THIS CHART FROM THE MOVIE
"GROUNDHOG DAY"."
"GROUNDHOG DAY" IS ALSO THE
TITLE OF A FAMOUS FILM STARRING
BILL MURRAY.
I HAVE ANOTHER PICTURE FOR YOU.
OF PHIL AND BILL DRIVING ALONG.
♪ ♪
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
THE COURTS, THE DIGNIFIED
PALACES OF JUSTICE WHICH, DURING
COVID, BROUGHT US SPECTACULAR
MOMENTS LIKE THIS.
>> MR. PONTON, I BELIEVE YOU
HAVE A FILTER TURNED ON IN THE
VIDEO SETTINGS.
>> IT IS, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO REMOVE IT.
I'VE GOT MY ASSISTANT HERE,
SHE'S TRYING TO, BUT WE'RE
PREPARED TO GO FORWARD WITH IT.
I'M HERE LIVE, I'M NOT A CAT.
>> John: PERFECT.
YOU KNOW A HEARING'S OFF TO A
SHAKY START WHEN A LAWYER HAS TO
CLARIFY HE IS -- AND I QUOTE --
"NOT A CAT."
AND I DID NOT WANT HIM TO
"UN-CAT" HIMSELF.
I WANTED THAT MAN TO SPEND THE
REST OF THE HEARING AS A
PHOTO-REALISTIC KITTEN LOOKING
LIKE HE JUST WITNESSED A DOUBLE
HOMICIDE.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT THE SUPREME COURT,
WHICH IS SET TO HAVE A
MONUMENTAL YEAR.
NOT ONLY WILL IT TAKE ON CASES
CONCERNING THE AVAILABILITY OF
MIFEPRISTONE, AND WHETHER
TRUMP'S IMMUNE FROM PROSECUTION
FOR HIS ROLE IN JANUARY 6, IT'S
ALSO CONSIDERING A CASE
CENTERING ON SOMETHING CALLED
"CHEVRON DEFERENCE."
WHICH, I KNOW, SOUNDS LIKE THE
TITLE OF A SPY NOVEL YOU'D BURN
THROUGH IN AN AIRPORT, BUT IT'S
A VITALLY IMPORTANT LEGAL
PRECEDENT THAT SAYS WHEN THERE'S
AMBIGUITY IN THE LETTER OF A
LAW, COURTS SHOULD DEFER TO
REGULATORY AGENCIES' EXPERTISE.
VERY BASICALLY, DO YOU LIKE WHEN
THE EPA REGULATES POLLUTION, OR
THE FDA REGULATES DRUGS?
MUCH OF THEIR ABILITY TO DO THAT
COMES FROM CHEVRON DEFERENCE.
AND IF THE COURT GUTS IT, IT'LL
BE MUCH EASIER FOR PRIVATE
INDUSTRIES TO BLOCK GOVERNMENT
REGULATION.
SO THIS IS GOING TO BE A HUGE
YEAR FOR A COURT THAT HAS SELDOM
BEEN MORE POWERFUL.
AND YET, RESPECT FOR IT HAS
SELDOM BEEN LOWER.
>> THE COURT'S PUBLIC APPROVAL
RATING HAS DROPPED TO A 50-YEAR
LOW, WITH JUST 18% EXPRESSING
GREAT CONFIDENCE.
>> John: IT'S TRUE, AND IT'S
HARD TO THINK OF ANYTHING PEOPLE
HAVE LESS CONFIDENCE IN RIGHT
NOW, ASIDE FROM THE WINDOW
SEATS IN BOEING PLANES.
AND THERE ARE UNDERSTANDABLE
REASONS FOR THAT, FROM THE
UNPOPULAR DECISION OVERTURNING
ROE V. WADE TO THE FACT THAT
ONE-THIRD OF THE COURT WAS
APPOINTED, SOMETIMES UNDER
DUBIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES, BY A MAN
WHO NEVER WON THE POPULAR VOTE.
BUT THE PAST YEAR'S INTRODUCED
US TO A WHOLE NEW REASON TO
QUESTION THE COURT'S INTEGRITY,
THANKS TO A STEADY DRUMBEAT OF
STORIES LIKE THESE.
>> SUPREME COURT JUSTICE
CLARENCE THOMAS IS FACING NEW
ALLEGATIONS HE ACCEPTED
LUXURIOUS VACATIONS AND GIFTS
FROM WEALTHY INDIVIDUALS AND
DIDN'T PROPERLY DISCLOSE THEM.
>> POLITICO REPORTED, JUSTICE
NEIL GORSUCH SOLD PROPERTY HE
OWNED TO THE HEAD OF A MAJOR LAW
FIRM.
>> JUSTICE SAMUEL ALITO DEFENDED
HIMSELF AFTER HE DIDN'T REPORT A
LUXURY TRIP TO ALASKA AND A
PRIVATE JET FLIGHT.
>> THE REPORT DETAILS THAT IN
JULY OF THAT YEAR, THEY STAYED
AT THE KING SALMON LODGE AND
WERE SERVED MULTI-COURSE MEALS
OF ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS OR
KOBE FILET.
THEY ALSO ENJOYED WINE THAT COST
$1,000 A BOTTLE.
>> John: NOW, ALITO DENIES HE
DID ANYTHING WRONG, AND
SPECIFICALLY SAID, "IF THERE WAS
WINE, IT WAS CERTAINLY NOT WINE
THAT COSTS $1,000."
WHICH I HOPE IS TRUE FOR
MULTIPLE REASONS, NAMELY, THAT
WINE SHOULD NEVER COST $1,000
BECAUSE WINE IS NOT THAT GOOD A
DRINK.
I'M SERIOUS.
THE THING ABOUT THE WORDS PEOPLE
USE TO DESCRIBE GOOD ONE.
A
COMPLEX?
THAT'S JUST A FANCY WORD FOR
CONFUSING.
"EARTHY?"
THAT'S DIRT FLAVOR.
AND "SMOOTH?"
YOUR BEST COMPLIMENT IS THAT IT
DIDN'T FIGHT YOU ON THE WAY
DOWN?
BUT THE COST OF THE WINE --
WHICH, AGAIN, SHOULD BE ZERO --
ISN'T THE POINT.
THE FACT IS, STORIES LIKE THOSE
HAVE FURTHER UNDERMINED PUBLIC
TRUST IN THE COURT, WHICH IS A
BIG PROBLEM.
BECAUSE IT'S AN INSTITUTION THAT
RELIES ON RESPECT.
IT CAN'T ENFORCE ITS OWN
RULINGS.
AND WITHOUT PUBLIC BUY-IN, IT
COULD THEORETICALLY BE IGNORED.
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS HIMSELF
RECENTLY WROTE, "PUBLIC TRUST IS
ESSENTIAL, NOT INCIDENTAL, TO
OUR FUNCTION."
SO THESE SCANDALS ARE A HUGE
ISSUE.
AND GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, WE'D
THOUGHT WE'D LOOK AT HOW DEEP
THIS COURT'S PROBLEMS GO, AND A
POSSIBLE SOLUTION THAT MIGHT GO
ONE-NINTH OF THE WAY TOWARDS
HELPING THINGS.
AND LET'S START WITH A STRIKING
FACT: WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT
ETHICAL RULES THE COURT IS
REQUIRED TO FOLLOW, THERE
BASICALLY AREN'T ANY.
CONGRESS CAN IMPEACH A JUSTICE
IN EXTREME SCENARIOS, BUT SHORT
OF THAT, THE COURT ESSENTIALLY
REGULATES ITSELF.
AND THAT HAS HAPPENED.
IN THE '60s, JUSTICE ABE
FORTAS WAS INVOLVED IN A NUMBER
OF SCANDALS, INCLUDING TAKING
MONEY TO ADVISE A BUSINESSMAN
WHO WOUND UP HAVING A CASE
BEFORE THE COURT.
BUT DESPITE THE FACT THAT
GETTING PAID FOR OUTSIDE WORK
WAS LEGAL -- AND THAT FORTAS
BOTH RETURNED THE MONEY AND
RECUSED HIMSELF FROM THE CASE --
THE MERE APPEARANCE OF
IMPROPRIETY CAUSED LAWMAKERS OF
BOTH PARTIES TO CALL FOR HIS
RESIGNATION.
AND HE STEPPED DOWN, SAYING HE
WAS DOING SO FOR THE GOOD OF THE
COURT.
AND JUST A FEW WEEKS LATER, THE
U.S. JUDICIAL CONFERENCE
UNVEILED A NEW ETHICS POLICY FOR
FEDERAL JUDGES, WITH ONE TINY
EXCEPTION.
SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT IT.
>> THE UNITED STATES
JUDICIAL -- JUDICIAL CONFERENCE
TODAY ISSUED A CODE OF ETHICS
WHICH PREVENTS ALL FEDERAL
JUDGES, EXCEPT SUPREME COURT
JUSTICES, FROM ACCEPTING FEES,
GIFTS, OR COMPENSATION OF ANY
KIND FOR OFF-BENCH ACTIVITIES.
>> John: YEAH, THE SUPREME COURT
JUSTICES WERE EXEMPT.
SO THAT NEW RULE SOLVED EVERY
PROBLEM EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THEY
JUST HAD.
AND THERE'VE BEEN MULTIPLE
TWEAKS TO THE CODE OF ETHICS
OVER THE YEARS, WITH THE ONE
CONSTANT BEING THAT THE SUPREME
COURT JUSTICES ARE NOT COVERED
BY IT.
AND EVEN LAWS THAT THEORETICALLY
APPLY TO THEM, ARE
UNENFORCEABLE.
THE ARGUMENT IS THAT, BECAUSE
THEY'RE THE HIGHEST COURT IN THE
LAND, THERE'S NO ONE THEY CAN
ANSWER TO.
NOW, OVER THE YEARS, THE
JUSTICES HAVE NOTED THAT THEY
VOLUNTARILY FOLLOW CERTAIN
RULES.
FOR INSTANCE, THEY'RE REQUIRED
TO REPORT ANY GIFTS WORTH MORE
THAN $480.
THAT'S HOW WE LEARNED ABOUT RUTH
BADER GINSBURG RECEIVING A $4500
OPERA COSTUME, KETANJI BROWN
JACKSON RECEIVING A FLORAL
ARRANGEMENT FROM OPRAH WORTH
$1,200, AND ANTONIN SCALIA
RECEIVING "TWO FIREARMS AND $950
WORTH OF DICTIONARIES."
WHICH IS SLIGHTLY WEIRDLY
PHRASED.
BECAUSE "$950 WORTH OF
DICTIONARIES" COULD EITHER MEAN
ONE VERY LUXURIOUS DICTIONARY OR
120 REGULAR ONES.
BUT WHILE THOSE GIFTS WERE
DISCLOSED, OTHERS HAVEN'T BEEN.
SCALIA HAD A HABIT OF NOT
DISCLOSING TRIPS OTHER PEOPLE
PAID FOR -- AND ACTUALLY DIED
WHILE STAYING FOR FREE AT THE
HUNTING LODGE OF A BUSINESS
EXECUTIVE WHOSE COMPANY HAD
RECENTLY HAD A CASE BEFORE THE
COURT.
AND I BET THAT EXECUTIVE WAS
GLAD HE GOT THE RULING BEFORE
THAT FUN-SOUNDING VISIT.
AND AS YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN, SOME
JUSTICES HAVE RUN WITH THAT
PRECEDENT.
REMEMBER ALITO'S FISHING TRIP?
WHEN IT CAME TO LIGHT, HE SAID
HE DIDN'T THINK THE RULES
REQUIRED DISCLOSING IT.
AND ATTEMPTED TO JUSTIFY THE
FREE PRIVATE JET FLIGHT WITH A
LAUGHABLE ARGUMENT.
>> ALITO EXPLAINING THAT ON THAT
PRIVATE JET FLIGHT, HE WAS IN
WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE BEEN
AN UNOCCUPIED SEAT.
>> John: OH, COME ON.
ALITO'S CONSIDERED ONE OF THE
SHARPEST CONSERVATIVE LEGAL
MINDS AND THAT'S THE BEST HE'S
GOT?
OF COURSE IF YOU HADN'T BEEN IN
THE SEAT, THE SEAT WOULD'VE BEEN
EMPTY, SAMUEL.
THAT'S NOT SO MUCH A DEFENSE OF
YOUR BEHAVIOR AS IT IS AN
EXPLANATION OF HOW SEATS WORK.
ALSO, IT'S A PRIVATE JET.
ALL THE SEATS ARE OTHERWISE
UNOCCUPIED.
THEY DON'T OVERBOOK THEM LIKE
IT'S THE 5:05 SPIRIT AIRLINES
FLIGHT FROM MYRTLE BEACH TO
VEGAS.
AND THAT FEELS ETHICALLY DICEY,
EVEN BEFORE YOU LEARN THAT ONE
OF HIS HOSTS ON THAT TRIP WAS A
HEDGE FUND MANAGER WHOSE
COMPANIES HAVE SINCE HAD 10
CASES BEFORE THE COURT.
AND THAT'S NOT A ONE-OFF.
FOR YEARS, NEIL GORSUCH, HAD
BEEN TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO
SELL A 40-ACRE PIECE OF PROPERTY
HE CO-OWNED IN COLORADO.
BUT COINCIDENTALLY, JUST NINE
DAYS AFTER HE WAS CONFIRMED, HE
MANAGED TO SELL IT.
AND WHILE HE DID DISCLOSE THAT
SALE, HE LEFT THE IDENTITY OF
THE PURCHASER BLANK ON THE FORM,
WHICH ISN'T GREAT, BECAUSE IT
TURNED OUT TO BE THE CHIEF
EXECUTIVE OF ONE OF THE NATION'S
BIGGEST LAW FIRMS -- WHICH HAS
SINCE BEEN INVOLVED IN AT LEAST
22 SUPREME COURT CASES.
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT
THAT WEIRD SOUND IS, THAT'S HIM
SAYING ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
BUT THE BIGGEST OFFENDER ON THE
CURRENT COURT IS UNQUESTIONABLY
CLARENCE THOMAS.
IF YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR WITH HIS
WORK, I ENVY YOU.
BUT, VERY QUICKLY:
HE'S AN EXTREME ORIGINALIST,
KNOWN FOR ADOPTING HARD-RIGHT
POSITIONS YEARS BEFORE OTHER
JUSTICES COME AROUND TO THEM --
FROM OVERTURNING GUN LAWS, TO
UNDERMINING THE VOTING RIGHTS
ACT.
HE'S ALSO QUESTIONED WHETHER
POOR PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO A
LAWYER, SAYING THE CONSTITUTION
ONLY GUARANTEES YOU THE RIGHT TO
HIRE A LAWYER, NOT TO HAVE ONE
PROVIDED FOR YOU.
AND HE ONCE SAID THAT BLACK
CIVIL RIGHT LEADERS "BITCH,
BITCH, BITCH, MOAN AND MOAN,
WHINE AND WHINE."
AND SURE, WHY CAN'T THE PEOPLE
FIGHTING FOR BASIC EQUALITY HAVE
THE CHILL, GOOD-TIME VIBES WE
ALL ASSOCIATE WITH CLARENCE
THOMAS?
HE'S SO FUN TO BE AROUND!
ASK ALMOST ANY WOMAN WHO'S
EVER WORKED FOR HIM!
FOR YEARS, THERE'VE BEEN STORIES
ABOUT THOMAS ACCEPTING LAVISH
GIFTS.
BUT THINGS ESCALATED
WITH A SERIES OF PROPUBLICA
INVESTIGATIONS REVEALING
THOMAS'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THESE
FOUR CONSERVATIVE BILLIONAIRES.
>> THE REPORT SAYS THE FOUR
MOGULS COLLECTIVELY TREATED
THOMAS TO 38 DESTINATION
VACATIONS.
26 PRIVATE JET FLIGHTS, PLUS AN
ADDITIONAL EIGHT BY HELICOPTER,
A DOZEN VIP PASSES TO
PROFESSIONAL AND COLLEGE
SPORTING EVENTS, TWO STAYS AT
LUXURY RESORTS IN FLORIDA AND
JAMAICA, AND ONE STANDING
INVITATION TO AN UBER-EXCLUSIVE
GOLF CLUB.
THE DOLLAR VALUE LIKELY IN THE
MILLIONS.
>> John: JUST ONE OF THOSE
VACATIONS WAS A NINE-DAY
INDONESIAN SUPERYACHT VOYAGE
THAT, IF HE'D PAID FOR IT
HIMSELF, COULD HAVE EXCEEDED
OVER HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.
AND THE WAY PROPUBLICA TRACKED
DOWN SOME OF THOSE TRIPS IS
PRETTY GREAT.
BECAUSE THE HOST OF THAT
INDONESIAN VACATION -- AND
MULTIPLE OTHERS -- WAS HARLAN
CROW, A BILLIONAIRE WHO "HAS
GIVEN MILLIONS TO EFFORTS TO
MOVE THE LAW AND THE JUDICIARY
TO THE RIGHT."
CROW LIKED TO GIVE OUT
COMMEMORATIVE POLO SHIRTS FOR
THE TRIPS HE TOOK PEOPLE ON.
SO PROPUBLICA JUST STARTED
LOOKING AT THE SHIRTS THOMAS WAS
WEARING IN PHOTOS, WHICH HELPED
THEM UNCOVER SOME OF THESE
TRIPS.
AND LOOK, JOURNALISM IS A
CRAPSHOOT.
SOMETIMES, YOU SPEND WEEKS
HUNTING DOWN LEADS,
PAINSTAKINGLY BUILDING A
TIMELINE.
OTHER TIMES, YOUR TARGET JUST
POSTS A PHOTO OF HIMSELF ON
FACEBOOK WEARING A T-SHIRT THAT
SAYS "SECRET UNDECLARED YACHT
VACATION 2003" AND GIVES THE
WHOLE GAME AWAY.
THOSE REPORTERS ALSO TRACKED
DOWN PHOTOS AND CARDS THAT
THOMAS'S WIFE, GINNI, SENT TO
FRIENDS TO COMMEMORATE THEIR
TRIPS, WITH FUN CAPTIONS LIKE
"FIVE COUPLES READY FOR RIVER
RAFTING!"
"THE SOKOLS TOOK FOUR LUCKY
COUPLES TO THE FIRST NEBRASKA
FOOT-BAL -- MISSPELLED -- GAME
OF THE SEASON," AND THIS PHOTO
OF A TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
ATTORNEY AND HIS WIFE CAPTIONED,
"MARK AND TRICIA PAOLETTA SANG A
SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO CLARENCE THEY
CREATED!"
AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE
PHOTOS LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ON THE
MOOD BOARD FOR "GET OUT."
BUT WAIT, I'M NOT DONE!
THEY ALSO FOUND THIS
PHOTOREALISTIC PAINTING THAT
HARLAN CROW COMMISSIONED OF ONE
OF THOSE VACATIONS FEATURING
HIM, THOMAS, LEONARD LEO, THE
HEAD OF THE CONSERVATIVE
FEDERALIST SOCIETY, AND A STATUE
OF A NATIVE AMERICAN MAN
SEEMINGLY PRAYING FOR LIGHTNING
TO STRIKE THIS EXACT SPOT.
BUT IF YOU'RE THINKING THAT'S
THE WORST PIECE OF ART HARLAN
CROW OWNS, YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
>> PUBLISHED REPORTS SAY DALLAS
TYCOON HARLAN CROW'S
CONTROVERSIAL COLLECTION
INCLUDES HITLER'S NOTORIOUS
AUTOBIOGRAPHY MEIN KAMPF, SIGNED
BY HITLER, OIL PAINTINGS BY
HITLER, AND LINEN NAPKINS
EMBROIDERED WITH THE NAZI
SWASTIKA.
THE COLLECTION IS HOUSED AT
CROW'S MANSION IN DALLAS.
"I CAN'T GET OVER THE COLLECTION
OF NAZI MEMORABILIA," SAID ONE
GUEST, WHO SAW THE NAZI TREASURE
TROVE.
"YOU SORT OF JUST GASP WHEN YOU
WALK INTO THE ROOM."
>> John: YEAH, I BET YOU DO!
BECAUSE THAT'S A BIT OF A RED
FLAG!
SPECIFICALLY, THIS RED FLAG.
NOW, CROW SAYS HIS CONTROVERSIAL
ARTIFACTS ARE PART OF A
COLLECTION MEANT TO PRESERVE A
PART OF OUR HISTORY, AND "TO
UNDERSTAND HOW WE ALL GOT HERE."
AND I'M GUESSING HIS GUESTS ASK
THAT EXACT QUESTION WHEN THEY
SEE HIS SIGNED COPY OF
"MEIN KAMPF" FOR THE FIRST TIME.
"HOW THE FUCK DID I GET HERE?"
THOUGH, BAD NEWS FOR HARLAN
ABOUT AT LEAST ONE OF HIS HITLER
PAINTINGS -- AN EXPERT HAS SINCE
DEEMED IT "DEFINITELY NOT
AUTHENTIC."
WHICH I GUESS HE SHOULD'VE SEEN
COMING.
IT WAS SIGNED "A HITLER" NOT
"THE HITLER."
CROW'S ALSO REPEATEDLY FLOWN
THOMAS OUT ON HIS JET FOR TRIPS
TO THE BOHEMIAN GROVE -- THE
CALIFORNIA RETREAT FOR THE RICH
AND POWERFUL -- WHERE HE AND THE
KOCH BROTHERS APPARENTLY
DEVELOPED A BOND.
HERE'S THOMAS WITH ONE OF THEM
AND KEN BURNS, FOR SOME REASON.
THOMAS HAS ALSO, INCIDENTALLY,
ATTENDED KOCH DONOR EVENTS AT
LEAST TWICE, SERVING AS A
FUNDRAISING DRAW FOR AN
ORGANIZATION THAT REGULARLY
BRINGS CASES BEFORE THE COURT.
NOW, HIS EXCUSE FOR NOT
REPORTING ANY OF THIS WAS THAT
HE "SOUGHT GUIDANCE FROM MY
COLLEAGUES AND OTHERS..."
"AND WAS ADVISED THAT THIS SORT
OF PERSONAL HOSPITALITY FROM
CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS...
WAS NOT REPORTABLE."
BUT WHILE IT'S TRUE THE JUDICIAL
GUIDELINES HAVE AN EXCEPTION FOR
PERSONAL HOSPITALITY, EXPERTS
WILL POINT OUT: THAT MEANS
"DINNER AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE" NOT
"A NINE-DAY-ALL-EXPENSES-PAID
YACHT TRIP."
A GOOD RULE OF THUMB IS "IF IT
COULD BE A PRIZE ON THE PRICE IS
RIGHT, IT'S NOT PERSONAL
HOSPITALITY."
AND THOMAS HAS RECEIVED MORE
THAN JUST "HOSPITALITY" ANYWAY.
IN 2014, ONE OF HARLAN CROW'S
COMPANIES BOUGHT A STRING OF
PROPERTIES IN SAVANNAH INCLUDING
THOMAS'S CHILDHOOD HOME WHERE
HIS MOTHER STILL LIVES.
CROW ALSO REPORTEDLY PAID FOR
TWO YEARS OF PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR
THOMAS'S GRAND-NEPHEW, WHOM
THOMAS HAS RAISED AS A SON --
WHICH, BASED ON THE TUITION
RATES AT THE TIME, AMOUNTED TO
ROUGHLY $100,000.
NEITHER OF THOSE WERE DISCLOSED
AT THE TIME.
AND IT GETS PRETTY HARD TO
SQUARE THE LAVISH VACATIONS, THE
REAL ESTATE, THE TUITION, WITH
THOMAS'S INSISTENCE THAT HE'S AN
ICONOCLASTIC VOICE FOR THE
LITTLE GUY, IN APPEARANCES LIKE
THIS ONE FROM TWO YEARS AGO,
WHERE HE THANKED THE PEOPLE
WHO'D SHOWN UP TO SUPPORT HIM
DURING HIS CONFIRMATION HEARING.
>> THE REGULAR PEOPLE SHOWED UP.
AND IT WAS ALWAYS US AGAINST THE
ELITES.
AND THAT'S THE WAY IT HAS BEEN
FOR THE LAST 40-PLUS YEARS I'VE
BEEN IN PUBLIC LIFE.
US AGAINST THE ELITES.
>> John: OH, I GET IT!
SO THE 38 DESTINATION VACATIONS
WERE JUST PART OF YOUR "US
VERSUS THE ELITES" PLOT.
LULL THEM INTO A FALSE SENSE OF
SECURITY, THEN PRESUMABLY, ON
THE 39TH VACATION -- VIVA LA
REVOLUTION!
I LOVE IT!
WHAT A PLAN!
BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE HORSESHIT
EVEN BEFORE YOU SEE THAT "THIS"
IS HOW THAT TALK STARTED.
>> I'M SURE YOU AND ALL OF US
WANT TO JOIN HARLAN -- THANK
HARLAN CROW AND HIS FAMILY FOR
MAKING THIS WONDERFUL FACILITY
AVAILABLE TO US.
[APPLAUSE]
I KNOW HARLAN HATES THAT.
SO I KNEW WE HAD TO --
>> I KNOW HE DOES, THAT'S WHY I
WOULDN'T SAY IT.
>> I KNEW WE HAD TO DO IT.
>> I'D LIKE TO KEEP THAT
FRIENDSHIP.
>> John: I BET YOU WOULD!
I'M SURE "FRIENDSHIP" IS
DEFINITELY THE THING YOU LIKE
THE MOST ABOUT KNOWING HARLAN
CROW.
NOT THE LAVISH YACHT TRIPS, OR
THE PRIVATE JET FLIGHTS -- IT'S
THE SIMPLE HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP
OF AN AGING NAZI NAPKIN
COLLECTOR.
BUT PERHAPS THE ITEM THAT
PERFECTLY SUMS UP THE DISTANCE
BETWEEN THOMAS'S REGULAR-GUY
PERSONA AND HIS HIGH-END TASTES
IS HIS MOTOR HOME.
IT'S HIS PRIZE POSSESSION.
HE EVEN SHOWED IT OFF DURING HIS
"60 MINUTES" INTERVIEW.
>> ONE OF HIS PASSIONS IS THIS
40-FOOT-LONG MOTOR HOME THAT HE
AND HIS WIFE USE TO EXPLORE THE
UNITED STATES IN THEIR DOWN
TIME.
DO YOU FIND THIS RELAXING?
>> OH, YEAH.
IT'S AWAY FROM THE -- SORT OF,
THE MEANNESS THAT YOU SEE IN
WASHINGTON AND YOU GET HERE WITH
JUST THE REGULAR FOLKS.
AND IT'S SO PLEASANT.
>> John: I CAN SEE THAT.
PEOPLE IN WASHINGTON CAN BE SO
MEAN.
I'VE HEARD SOME EVEN MAKE
DECISIONS IN LANDMARK COURT
CASES THAT LOOSEN GUN
REGULATIONS, LIMIT AFFIRMATIVE
ACTION, AND STRIP WOMEN OF THEIR
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO AN
ABORTION, SO I GET THE IMPULSE
TO WANT TO GET OUTTA TOWN TO
AVOID THOSE FUCKING SOCIOPATHS.
THOMAS LOVES HIS MOTOR HOME SO
MUCH, HE CAN ACTUALLY BE A BIT
OF A SNOB IF ASKED INACCURATELY
ABOUT IT.
>> ONE OF YOU ENJOYS TRAVELING
CROSS-COUNTRY WITH YOUR SPOUSE
IN A 40-FOOT RV.
WHO'S THAT?
>> WELL, THAT'S TECHNICALLY
INCORRECT.
>> IS IT NOT AN RV?
>> IT IS A MOTOR COACH.
>> IS THAT BIGGER THAN AN RV?
>> WELL, IT COULD BE, BUT IT IS
A BETTER VEHICLE THAN AN RV.
AN RV IS NORMALLY BUILT ON A
LIGHT TRUCK CHASSIS.
A MOTOR COACH IS A TOUR BUS.
I MEAN, IT'S -- IT'S OLD, BUT
IT'S REALLY NICE.
>> John: HONESTLY, IF THOMAS
HADN'T CAUSED SO MUCH HUMAN
MISERY, HIM LIKING BIG COMFY
TRUCKS THAT GO VROOM VROOM WOULD
BE KIND OF CHARMING.
EVERY MAN IN HIS 70'S HAS PICKED
A VEHICLE THAT OCCUPIES WAY TOO
MUCH SPACE IN HIS BRAIN AND
HEART.
SOME LIKE TRAINS THAT GO
CHOO-CHOO.
SOME LOVE BOATS THAT GO "GLUB
GLUB."
AND OTHERS LOVE MOTOR COACHES,
BASED ON A NON-LIGHT-TRUCK
CHASSIS.
I'M NOT SAYING THESE MEN LOVE
THEIR VEHICLES MORE THAN THEIR
FAMILIES.
IT'S JUST, IT'S EASIER FOR THEM
TO SAY "I PREFER O-SCALE TRAINS
BECAUSE HISTORICALLY, THAT'S
WHAT THIS COUNTRY'S FINEST MODEL
TRAINS HAVE BEEN SINCE THE
1800'S," THAN "I'M PROUD OF YOU,
SON."
BUT ABOUT THAT BUS.
IT'S APPARENTLY THE ROLLS-ROYCE
OF MOTOR COACHES: A CUSTOM
PREVOST MARATHON, OR AS THOMAS
ONCE PUT IT, A "CONDO ON
WHEELS."
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, "THAT'S
A PRETTY BIG PURCHASE FOR A
SUPREME COURT JUSTICE TO BE ABLE
TO AFFORD," ABOUT THAT.
>> SUPREME COURT JUSTICE
CLARENCE THOMAS HAS BEEN AN RV
EVANGELIST FOR DECADES,
TRAVELING THE COUNTRY IN A
40-FOOT LUXURY MOTORCOACH THAT
HE PURCHASED IN 1999 AFTER
BORROWING MORE THAN A QUARTER OF
A MILLION DOLLARS FROM A WEALTHY
FRIEND.
BUT A NEW REPORT FROM DEMOCRATS
ON THE SENATE FINANCE COMMITTEE
ALLEGES THOMAS' FRIEND FORGAVE A
SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF THAT
MASSIVE LOAN.
AND NINE YEARS LATER, HIS FRIEND
FORGAVE ALL THE DEBT.
>> John: WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A SWEET DEAL!
HONESTLY, IT'S STARTING TO FEEL
LIKE THOMAS DOESN'T SO MUCH HAVE
"FRIENDS" AS "A COLLECTION OF
HUMAN ATM'S."
AND HIS WEALTHY FRIENDS
WILL SAY THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE
HERE, AND THEY'RE JUST DOING FOR
CLARENCE WHAT THEY'D DO FOR
ANYONE ELSE.
HARLAN CROW PULLED THAT EXACT
MOVE.
>> IN A STATEMENT, HARLAN CROW,
THE DALLAS REAL ESTATE
BILLIONAIRE WHO PICKS UP THE
TABS FOR THESE TRIPS, SAYS HE
AND THOMAS HAVE BEEN FRIENDS
SINCE 1996.
WRITING, "THE HOSPITALITY WE
HAVE EXTENDED TO THE THOMASES
OVER THE YEARS IS NO DIFFERENT
FROM THE HOSPITALITY WE HAVE
EXTENDED TO OUR MANY OTHER DEAR
FRIENDS."
>> John: OKAY, BUT IT IS
DIFFERENT, THOUGH.
BECAUSE WHILE YOU MAY HAVE BEEN
FRIENDS WITH CLARENCE THOMAS FOR
A LONG TIME, YOU DIDN'T START
BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM UNTIL
FIVE YEARS AFTER HE WAS MADE A
SUPREME COURT JUSTICE.
IN FACT, EACH OF HIS FOUR MAJOR
BENEFACTORS APPEARS TO HAVE
FIRST MET THOMAS AFTER HE
ASCENDED TO THE SUPREME COURT.
WHICH IS INHERENTLY TELLING.
EVEN SOCIALLY INEPT HIGH
SCHOOLERS CAN FIGURE THAT OUT.
IF BRENNA, JACKSON, AND ASHTON
ONLY START HANGING OUT WITH YOU
AFTER YOU GET A JOB AT
COLDSTONE, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT
ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT THE FREE
FUCKING SCOOPS.
AND THANKFULLY, THERE IS A WAY
FOR A JUSTICE TO AVOID THE
APPEARANCE OF IMPROPRIETY, AND
THAT'S RECUSAL.
ANY JUSTICE IS REQUIRED TO
DISQUALIFY THEMSELF IN ANY
PROCEEDING WHERE THEIR
IMPARTIALITY MIGHT REASONABLY BE
QUESTIONED.
BUT, AS WITH EVERYTHING ELSE
YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT, FOR THE
SUPREME COURT, IT'S ESSENTIALLY
JUST A SUGGESTION.
THE JUSTICES THEMSELVES DECIDE
IF THEY ARE ABLE TO BE
IMPARTIAL, AND THOSE DECISIONS
CANNOT BE APPEALED.
AND EVEN WHEN IT COMES TO
RECUSALS, THOMAS IS AN OUTLIER
-- HE ALMOST NEVER RECUSES, EVEN
WHEN HE CLEARLY SHOULD.
TAKE ONE RECENT CASE WHERE HE
HAD A FLAGRANT CONFLICT OF
INTEREST -- ALBEIT NOT
FINANCIAL.
BECAUSE THE COURT RECENTLY TOOK
UP A NUMBER OF APPEALS INVOLVING
CASES SURROUNDING JANUARY 6.
AS IT HAPPENS, A MAJOR
CHEERLEADER TO OVERTURN BIDEN'S
WIN WAS THOMAS'S OWN WIFE, GINNI
-- AS HER TEXTS TO THEN-WHITE
HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF MARK
MEADOWS SHOW.
>> IN ONE, THOMAS WRITING,
QUOTE, "HELP THIS GREAT
PRESIDENT STAND FIRM, MARK!
BIDEN AND THE LEFT IS ATTEMPTING
THE GREATEST HEIST OF OUR
HISTORY."
AND IN ANOTHER JUST DAYS THE
2020 ELECTION, THOMAS WRITING,
"DO NOT CONCEDE."
>> ON NOVEMBER 24TH, MEADOWS
WROTE THOMAS, "THIS IS A FIGHT
OF GOOD VERSUS EVIL."
THOMAS REPLIED, "THANK YOU!
NEEDED THAT!
THIS PLUS A CONVERSATION WITH MY
BEST FRIEND JUST NOW."
>> John: WOW.
I WILL SAY, GINNI THOMAS LOOKS
EXACTLY LIKE A PERSON WHO WOULD
TRY TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER
ABOUT A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
BUT DESPITE THAT "CONVERSATION
WITH MY BEST FRIEND" LINE, GINNI
INSISTS SHE NEVER TALKED TO HER
HUSBAND ABOUT THE ELECTION
CHALLENGES.
WHICH IS A BIT WEIRD, BECAUSE HE
SAYS THIS A LOT.
>> IT'S A PARTICULAR HONOR TO BE
HERE WITH MY WIFE, VIRGINIA, WHO
IS TOTALLY MY BEST FRIEND IN THE
WORLD.
I LOVE TO SPEND TIME WITH MY
WIFE WHO'S TOTALLY MY BEST
FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
I LOVE BEING HERE WITH MY
BRIDE, VIRGINIA, WHO'S A GIFT
FROM GOD AND MY TOTALLY BEST
FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, IF GINNI
IS INDEED "A GIFT FROM GOD," I
GUESS IT'S NICE THAT CLARENCE
THOMAS GOT AT LEAST ONE GIFT
FROM SOMEONE WHO'S NOT A
BILLIONAIRE.
BUT ALSO, IT'D SEEM THAT EITHER
GINNI THOMAS WAS KEEPING HER
HUSBAND UP TO DATE ON HER
ONGOING COUP ATTEMPT, OR: SHE'S
CLARENCE'S BEST FRIEND BUT HE
ISN'T HERS.
AND THAT'S ROUGH.
THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF
AWKWARD SILENCES ON THEIR NEXT
MOTOR COACH TRIP.
BUT THE FACT IS, A JUSTICE'S
WIFE INSERTED HERSELF IN EFFORTS
TO OVERTURN THE LAST ELECTION.
YET, IN MULTIPLE CASES INVOLVING
JANUARY 6, THOMAS DIDN'T RECUSE
HIMSELF -- EVEN IN ONE
CONCERNING WHETHER WHITE HOUSE
FILES, WHICH COULD HAVE
CONTAINED MORE OF GINNI'S TEXTS,
HAD TO BE HANDED OVER TO THE
JANUARY 6 COMMITTEE.
IN THAT CASE, THOMAS WAS THE
LONE DISSENTER SAYING THAT THEY
SHOULD REMAIN SECRET.
AND IF THAT'S NOT A CONFLICT OF
INTEREST, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ONE
IS.
BUT LOOK, THE FUNDAMENTAL
CORRUPTION HERE MIGHT BE BIGGER
THAN ANYTHING ONE RECUSAL COULD
COVER.
BECAUSE I'M NOT SAYING THOMAS IS
ONLY VOTING THE WAY HE IS
BECAUSE OF THE TRIPS AND THE
GIFTS.
HIS OPINIONS WERE HORRIBLE
BEFORE HE EVER SET FOOT ON A
YACHT.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THOSE
BILLIONAIRES HAVEN'T HAD AN
IMPACT ON HIM.
BECAUSE, FOR YEARS, THOMAS
REPEATEDLY TALKED ABOUT MONEY.
IN THE 1980S, HE TOLD A
REPORTER, HE PLANNED TO BE RICH,
AND SAID THAT MEANS MORE THAN
JUST A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND
DOLLARS A YEAR.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM,
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT BEING A
SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CURRENTLY
PAYS -- JUST UNDER $300,000.
AND HE'S BEEN PRETTY VOCAL ABOUT
HIS DISSATISFACTION WITH THAT,
SOMETIMES EVEN PUBLICLY.
>> THE JOB IS NOT WORTH DOING
FOR WHAT THEY PAY.
IT'S NOT WORTH DOING FOR THE
GRIEF, BUT IT IS WORTH DOING FOR
THE PRINCIPLE.
>> John: YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
BECAUSE YOUR JOB IS WRITING
OPINIONS IN A BATHROBE AND IT
PAYS SIX FIGURES.
MOST BLOGGERS DO THAT FOR FREE,
AND THEY DON'T GET TO ENJOY
SEEING THEIR WORST TAKES
BECOMING EVERYONE ELSE'S LAW.
IT WAS RIGHT AROUND THAT TIME,
IN THE EARLY AUGHTS, THAT THOMAS
REPORTEDLY SAID TO A REPUBLICAN
MEMBER OF CONGRESS THAT, UNLESS
IT GAVE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES A
PAY RAISE, QUOTE: ONE OR MORE
WILL LEAVE SOON MAYBE IN THE
NEXT YEAR.
THAT SET OFF ALARMS IN
CONSERVATIVE QUARTERS.
AS THAT LAWMAKER THOMAS SPOKE TO
RECALLS IT, "HIS IMPORTANCE AS A
CONSERVATIVE WAS PARAMOUNT.
WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE HE FELT
COMFORTABLE IN HIS JOB AND HE
WAS BEING PAID PROPERLY."
UNFORTUNATELY FOR THOMAS,
JUSTICES' SALARIES HAVEN'T BEEN
RAISED BEYOND INFLATION SINCE
THEN.
BUT IT MAY NOT BE A COINCIDENCE
THAT A HANDFUL OF BILLIONAIRES
HAVE SUDDENLY STEPPED IN TO MAKE
SURE THAT THOMAS WAS NEVER
ANYTHING LESS THAN EXTREMELY
COMFORTABLE.
AND IN RECENT YEARS, HE'S SEEMED
MUCH LESS WORRIED ABOUT HIS
PAYCHECK.
>> RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS THE
COMPENSATION OF A JUSTICE OF THE
SUPREME COURT?
>> OH, GOODNESS, I THINK IT'S
PLENTY.
[LAUGHS]
>> WELL, IT'S --
>> IT'S NOT QUITE WHERE YOU ARE
--
[LAUGHS]
I HAVE NO -- MY WIFE AND I ARE
DOING FINE.
WE DON'T -- WE DON'T LIVE
EXTRAVAGANTLY, BUT WE ARE FINE.
>> John: HERE'S A FUN FACT FOR
YOU: THAT WAS IN EARLY JUNE OF
2019.
GUESS WHERE HE WAS AT THE END OF
THAT MONTH?
ON HARLAN CROW'S INDONESIAN
YACHT TRIP.
THAT'S THE COMFORTABLE LAUGH OF
A MAN LOOKING FORWARD TO A FREE
TRIP AND -- FINGERS CROSSED -- A
FREE SHIRT TO GO WITH IT.
BASICALLY, WHAT I'M SUGGESTING
IS, IT'S NOT THAT THESE
BILLIONAIRES HAVE PAID THOMAS TO
CHANGE HIS VIEWS.
IT'S THAT THEY LIKE HIS VIEWS,
SO THEY'RE PAYING FOR HIM NOT TO
LEAVE.
WHICH IS DIFFERENT, BUT NOT
BETTER.
AND IF THAT WAS THEIR PLAN, IT'S
WORKED.
BECAUSE THOMAS IS NOW AT THE
HEART OF THE NEW CONSERVATIVE
SUPERMAJORITY ON THE COURT.
AND HE HAS PLANS TO GO FURTHER.
IN HIS CONCURRENCE IN THE DOBBS
CASE, HE SAID THE COURT SHOULD
RECONSIDER PREVIOUS ERRONEOUS
RULINGS ON SODOMY, BIRTH CONTROL
AND GAY MARRIAGE.
AND DESPITE FOR BEING ON FOR THE
DIFFERENCE OF DISEASES.
BECAUSE REMEMBER THAT CHEVRON
DEFERENCE I MENTIONED EARLIER?
20 YEARS AGO, THOMAS ACTUALLY
WROTE A MAJORITY OPINION THAT
EXPANDED CHEVRON'S PROTECTIONS.
BUT SINCE THEN, THERE'S BEEN A
MASSIVE CONSERVATIVE PUSH TO GET
RID OF CHEVRON -- LED BY THE
KOCH ORGANIZATION -- YOU KNOW,
CLARENCE'S VACATION FRIENDS.
AND A FEW YEARS AGO, THOMAS
RENOUNCED HIS EARLIER DECISION,
WRITING THAT HE'D DETERMINED THE
DOCTRINE IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL
AFTER ALL.
NOW, WHAT CAUSED THAT CHANGE OF
HEART?
I DON'T KNOW.
WAS IT 15 YEARS OF MARINATING IN
RIGHT-WING MONEY, AND
VACATIONING WITH BUSINESSMEN WHO
COULD MASSIVELY PROFIT FROM IT
BEING OVERTURNED?
WE CAN'T SAY FOR SURE.
BUT WE CAN ALL THINK IT
TOGETHER, CAN'T WE?
READY?
LET'S DO THAT.
PUTTS
1, 2, 3, YES, IT'S BECAUSE OF
THE MONEY.
SHIT, SORRY, I THOUGHT IT SO
HARD IT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH.
AND LOOK, I KNOW WE FOCUSED A
LOT ON CLARENCE THOMAS TONIGHT,
BUT THIS STORY ISN'T JUST ABOUT
HIS INTEGRITY.
IT'S ABOUT THE COURT'S.
FROM THE BEGINNING, AMERICA,
LIKE MOST COUNTRIES, WAS BUILT
ON POLITE FICTIONS, BY MEN WHO
COULD SOMEHOW HOLD IN THEIR
HEADS THE IDEA THAT ALL MEN WERE
CREATED EQUAL, AT THE SAME TIME
THEY WERE DRAWING UP THE
THREE-FIFTHS CLAUSE.
AND WHILE WE'VE SHED A LOT OF
THOSE FICTIONS, WE STILL CLING
TO THE IDEA OF THE SUPREME COURT
AS A BODY SEPARATE AND APART
FROM POLITICS.
IT RETAINS A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF
MYSTIQUE AND CEREMONY.
WE LITERALLY PUT THE JUSTICES ON
A PEDESTAL, AND LET THEM WEAR
ROBES LIKE WIZARDS.
IN THEIR CONFIRMATION HEARINGS,
THEY PRETEND TO HAVE NO IDEA HOW
THEY'LL RULE ON HOT-BUTTON
ISSUES, AND WE ALL HAVE TO
PRETEND TO BELIEVE THEM BEFORE
WE APPOINT THEM TO A JOB THEY
CAN HOLD UNTIL THEY DIE.
WE DON'T TREAT THEM LIKE WHAT
THEY ARE, WHICH IS PEOPLE, WHO
CAN BE MOTIVATED BY IDEOLOGY AND
GREED, LIKE ANYONE ELSE.
BUT POLITE FICTIONS CAN ONLY BE
BENT SO FAR BEFORE THEY BREAK.
AND RIGHT NOW, IT FEELS LIKE THE
SUPREME COURT'S AT A BREAKING
POINT.
AND THERE ARE SMALL WAYS TO FIX
THAT -- FROM A REAL, ENFORCEABLE
ETHICS CODE, TO TERM LIMITS, TO
EVEN POTENTIALLY EXPANDING THE
COURT.
AND HONESTLY, IF IT WERE UP TO
ME, THEY'D ALSO BE DRESSED NOT
IN ROBES, BUT AS WAL-MART
GREETERS, TO EMPHASIZE THEY'RE
NOT MAGIC, THEY'RE HUMANS, LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE.
BUT IF WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANY
OF THAT -- IF WE'RE GOING TO
KEEP THE BAR OF ACCOUNTABILITY
THIS LOW -- PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO
EXPLOIT THAT LOW BAR THE SAME
WAY BILLIONAIRES HAVE
SUCCESSFULLY DONE FOR DECADES.
AND THAT FINALLY BRINGS US TO
THE SOLUTION I MENTIONED AT THE
START OF THIS PIECE.
BECAUSE CLARENCE THOMAS IS
ARGUABLY THE MOST CONSEQUENTIAL
JUSTICE ON THE COURT RIGHT NOW.
AND HE'S NEVER SEEMED TO REALLY
LIKE THE JOB -- HE'S SAID IT'S
NOT WORTH DOING "FOR THE GRIEF."
SO, WHAT IF HE COULD KEEP THE
LUXURY PERKS HE CLEARLY ENJOYS,
WITHOUT HAVING TO ENDURE ALL
THAT GRIEF?
WELL, I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A
WAY.
BECAUSE, JUSTICE THOMAS, WE HAVE
A SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU.
WE ARE PREPARED TO OFFER YOU ONE
MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR, FOR THE
REST OF YOUR LIFE, IF YOU SIMPLY
AGREE TO LEAVE THE SUPREME COURT
IMMEDIATELY AND NEVER COME BACK.
IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JUST SIGN THIS CONTRACT, RESIGN,
AND THE MONEY'S ALL YOURS!
THIS IS NOT A JOKE, IF YOU
WATCH OUR SHOW, YOU KNOW JOKES
AREN'T REALLY OUR THING.
THIS IS REAL.
A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR, UNTIL
YOU OR I DIE.
WE'VE SPOKEN TO EXPERTS, WHO'VE
ALL TOLD US THAT, BEST THEY CAN
TELL, THIS IS SOMEHOW LEGAL.
WHICH SEEMS CRAZY, BECAUSE IT
REALLY FEELS LIKE IT SHOULDN'T
BE.
BUT AS THEY KEEP POINTING OUT,
THERE ARE NO RULES IN PLACE TO
STOP ME DOING THIS.
AND LET ME BE CLEAR, HBO'S NOT
PUTTING UP THE MONEY FOR THIS.
I'M PERSONALLY ON THE HOOK.
YOU COULD MAKE ME REALLY REGRET
THIS!
I COULD BE DOING STANDUP TOURS
TO PAY FOR YOUR RETIREMENT FOR
YEARS.
BUT THIS OFFER ISN'T FOREVER.
YOU HAVE EXACTLY 30 DAYS
FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO MAKE
YOUR RESIGNATION EFFECTIVE.
AND IF YOU'RE STILL ON THE
FENCE, I ACTUALLY HAVE A LITTLE
DEAL SWEETENER THAT I'M EXCITED
TO SHOW YOU -- SO PLEASE COME
WITH ME.
JUST COME, COME THIS WAY.
BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU'VE GOT A LOT
ON YOUR PLATE RIGHT NOW -- FROM
STRIPPING AWAY WOMEN'S RIGHTS,
TO HEARING JANUARY 6TH CASES YOU
DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T BE HEARING,
TO POTENTIALLY HELPING ROLL BACK
DECADES OF FEDERAL REGULATIONS.
AND YOU DESERVE A BREAK.
YOU KNOW, AWAY FROM THE
"MEANNESS OF WASHINGTON."
SO YOU CAN BE SURROUNDED BY THE
"REGULAR FOLKS" WHOSE LIVES
YOU'VE MADE DEMONSTRABLY WORSE
FOR DECADES NOW.
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS, I THINK WE
CAN HELP YOU THERE.
BECAUSE SINCE YOUR FAVORITE MODE
OF TRAVEL MIGHT BE IN NEED OF
AN UPGRADE, WE'RE EXCITED TO
OFFER YOU...
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THIS BRAND NEW, TOP-OF-THE-LINE
PREVOST MARATHON MOTOR COACH.
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY, CLARENCE!
IT'S WORTH $2.4 MILLION, AND
IT'S GOT A FULL BEDROOM -- YES,
THAT'S A KING BED -- ONE AND A
HALF BATHS, A FUCKING FIREPLACE,
FOUR TV'S, A WASHER-DRYER, AND
A, QUOTE, "RESIDENTIAL-SIZED
FRIDGE."
AND IF YOU'RE THINKING, WHAT
WILL MY FRIENDS SAY IF I TAKE
THIS OFFER?
WILL THEY JUDGE ME, AS THEY SIT
IN THEIR BOARDROOMS AND
MEGAYACHTS AND HITLER SHRINES?
WILL THEY STILL TREAT ME TO
LUXURY VACATIONS, AND SING SONGS
ABOUT ME OFF THEIR PHONES?
WELL, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF
FRIENDSHIP, CLARENCE.
IF THEY'RE REAL FRIENDS, THEY'LL
LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOUR JOB
IS.
SO I GUESS THIS MIGHT BE THE
PERFECT WAY TO FIND OUT WHO YOUR
REAL FRIENDS ACTUALLY ARE.
SO THAT'S THE OFFER.
A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR,
CLARENCE, AND A BRAND NEW "CONDO
ON WHEELS?"
AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IN RETURN
IS SIGN THE CONTRACT AND GET THE
FUCK OFF THE SUPREME COURT.
TALK IT OVER WITH YOUR TOTALLY
BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD,
BECAUSE THE CLOCK STARTS NOW!
30 DAYS, CLARENCE!
LET'S DO THIS.
THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
GOODNIGHT!
♪ ♪
HOW IS THIS LEGAL!
YOUR MOVE, CLARENCE!
YOUR FUCKING MOVE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪