WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
Welcome to "Last Week Tonight!" I'm John Oliver!
Thank you so much for joining us. It has been a busy week.
As of taping, Israel is, in the words of its prime minister "at war",
FEMA ran a test
to see how effectively our phones could scare the shit out of us,
and Kevin McCarthy was the victim of the firstever intra-party coup
against a speaker of the House.
It left North Carolina representative Patrick McHenry,
Patton Oswalt as a ventriloquist dummy,
serving as temporary speaker.
And he seemed pretty angry after McCarthy's ousting.
The chair declares the House in recess, subject to the call of the chair.
That man is mad. Which is only slightly undermined
by the fact that he's dressed like a four-year-old
who's gonna fuck up the whole wedding.
Elections for the new speaker will likely be held this week,
and so far, the front runners seem to be
far-right Jim Jordan or Steve Scalise,
who's been described as "David Duke without the baggage".
And you know who described him as that?
He did!
And to describe yourself as David Duke,
the former Grand Wizard of the KKK, without the baggage, is a choice.
Because that man is all baggage.
Without it, he's just the Crypt-Keeper with a patchy bleach job.
It is pretty clear
that the Republican Party is being controlled by the absolute extremes.
But not just nationally, at the local level, too.
And to show you just how bad it's gotten,
look at the mayoral race unfolding in the city of Franklin, Tennessee,
where their current Republican mayor is facing this woman, Gabrielle Hanson,
a real estate agent and current alderman.
She's branded herself as a hardcore MAGA candidate
and has posted photos of herself at Mara-Lago.
And look how happy she is there!
That's the face of someone who just dined on a well-done steak
and read some classified documents on the toilet.
Back in April, Hanson made news for opposing the city's Pride event,
arguing that its participants couldn't be trusted around children,
and offering this critique of previous performers.
In one of the pictures of Jaidynn Diore Fierce, one of the Miss Fits,
she's clad in an Elmothemed drag outfit,
which I'm sure to an underage individual,
this could create confusion in their mind as to what's being represented.
Okay, but by that logic,
we should outlaw children from walking around Times Square, too,
because seeing Olaf from "Frozen" with his head popped off,
smoking a Black & Mild
is way more confusing than someone wearing eyeshadow
and an Elmo-themed bodysuit.
Also, for the record, her name is Jaidynn Diore Fierce, not "Dioree",
and Elmo is not remotely her finest work.
Because she is constantly serving cartoon looks.
Have you ever seen a minion serve body?
Because you have now.
Hanson also tried to pressure the Nashville airport
out of funding a Juneteenth celebration,
saying "I don't want my tax dollars or fees
off of plane tickets going to radical agendas."
And with all due respect, you're talking to an airport.
It doesn't care about you. It doesn't care about anyone.
It's an airport.
The only food available is either dill pickle almonds or brisket nachos,
with no middle ground.
It's acceptable to drink at 7:00 AM, and they will sell your lost luggage.
The airport is a cruel, unfeeling dimension,
uninterested in your culture war bullshit.
Now, since then, Hanson seems to have tried to broaden her base,
posting photos of diverse groups of supporters,
including this one, labeled as an "executive women's club"
who she said had provided "invaluable support and encouragement"
with the hashtag "Vote Hanson".
But while that might seem like an endorsement from those women,
watch what happened when a local reporter tracked one of them down
and asked a pretty simple question.
Do you support Gabrielle Hanson?
I do not, I actually do not know who that is.
After some on social media noticed the pic
seemed to have been taken at a restaurant in Chicago,
Hanson posted an update on Facebook claiming
"These are all my friends that have relocated to Nashville,
Brentwood, and Franklin and they all support me."
The women say that's a lie.
Any message you would have for her?
I would encourage her to go make genuine friends
so she can take photos with those folks if she's looking for supporters.
There's no need to comb pictures on the internet to make up a story.
None of us need that.
Not only are those women clearly not your friends,
you definitely just united them against you.
I guarantee you, one of them dropped your post in the group chat,
and the replies are still going right now.
And the thing is, Hanson has been caught lying about weird shit
a truly ridiculous amount of times.
Earlier this year, during a podcast interview,
she claimed to have predicted the Covenant School shooting in Nashville,
stating she had a premonition about it,
chalking it up to what "could have been a holy spirit thing".
What's more, she also claimed that she'd told a police officer
about that premonition when he came to her home over a different issue.
The problem is, that same local reporter
tracked down that officer's bodycam video,
which told a different story.
During that 23-minute video,
she never mentions anything remotely like the Covenant School shooting.
No mention of a premonition, no mention of an active shooter,
no mention of the holy spirit.
And Hanson's fabrications have gone even further in a talk radio interview
questioning how Melissa Joan Hart happened to be near Covenant
at the time of the shooting to help children who were trying to escape.
Maybe that's why Melissa Joan Hart was there,
she must have known it was going to happen, also.
Wait, what?!
Melissa Joan Hart
psychically knows when a school shooting is about to happen?
That is not something an elected official should say in an interview,
it's what a Disney Channel exec probably screamed in 2002
after inhaling a metric ton of cocaine.
And before we go any further,
let's take a moment to acknowledge that reporter, Phil Williams.
Because he's been all over this story,
and we've featured his work on this show a bunch in the past.
If you are a politician in Tennessee, Phil has his foot on your goddamn neck.
His official NewsChannel 5 bio
features a quote from a Nashville political strategist,
saying, "If the press calls, call your PR person.
If Phil Williams calls, call your lawyer because you are in trouble."
This is a bad, bad man. You do not fuck around with Phil Williams.
And it seems Gabrielle Hanson is currently in her "finding out" era
when it comes to her dealings with him,
because Phil has uncovered so much weird new context around her life.
Remember her bullshit outrage over the local Pride event?
Phil discovered something that her husband once did
that suggests a hell of a double standard.
Children seeing images that they could not unsee
was why the Franklin alderman said she tried to block a Pride celebration
at a Franklin park,
saying in a podcast interview, it was a question of basic morality.
Yet where was her morality during Chicago's 2008 Pride parade
before the Hansons moved to Tennessee?
At the time, Tom Hanson was running a Republican campaign for Congress
and organizers agreed to let him in.
He told the local LGBTQ newspaper, quote,
"So, it just came to me. I said, 'Maybe I'll wear an American flag Speedo.'
And my wife said, 'If you do that, I'll hold you to it.'"
Magnificent. So, just to recap: snatched Elmo?
Irreparably harmful to children.
Star-spangled ballbag here?
That's apparently completely fine with her!
Also, nd I'm not here to police anyone else's drag but, is he tucked?
Could just have been cold!
It was June, though.
But anyway, if all that wasn't enough,
just this week, Hanson was caught up in yet another scandal,
this time, involving an eye-catching group
that showed up to support and protect her at a candidate forum.
The man on the left is Sean Kauffmann,
who has been described by the StopAntisemitism watchdog group
as, quote, "a disturbed neo-Nazi and Holocaust denier
with a documented history of violence and a massive cache of firearms".
Then there's Brad Lewis.
He's the operator of the Lewis Country Store on the far west side of Nashville,
a store known for its extreme rightwing messaging.
When the store recently went on the market,
Gabrielle Hanson was the real estate agent who got the listing.
A recent investigation by the Southern Poverty Law Center
revealed how the second floor of the store
was being used as a white nationalist fight club.
Lewis responded in a post on Telegram, calling himself
an "actual literal Nazi".
Ms. Hanson, the people you're with had described themselves as literal Nazis.
Is this the type of people you should be associating with?
They said they're literal Nazis.
Phil Williams is just wrecking her,
waving a cell phone in Hanson's face and asking
"So, you hang out with Nazis or what?"
and doing it loud enough for the whole row to hear.
Also, what on Earth did that cursed Zillow listing look like?
"Great opportunity to own-slashoperate your business
in this income-generating, threeunit mixed-use white supremacist building.
First floor is a store with terrible vibes,
and the second floor unit is a neo-Nazi fight club.
Sold as is."
Hanson denies engaging that group as security,
despite the fact that she walked into that meeting with a Holocaust denier,
while her husband was escorted in by a guy with a Proud Boys face tattoo.
And she's tried to deflect criticism
over the fact that she took a literal Nazi's real estate listing,
but, even in doing so, made some bold choices.
If you based me on all the clients that I'm representing currently,
I would be a white supremacist, neo-Nazi,
I would be a lesbian like my one client, and I would be Black, too.
That is who I would be
if you're gonna blame me for the clients that I represent,
because those are the clients at this very moment that I'm representing.
And I would probably be a Muslim jihadist as well
because I have a Middle Eastern client, too.
Gabs, but you did just imply one of your clients was a "Muslim jihadist"
simply based on the fact that they are Middle Eastern,
so I'd say you're probably more of a white supremacist neo-Nazi
than you are lesbian or Black.
In a world that makes sense, this woman would obviously
have withdrawn from this mayoral race in shame.
But she still has supporters, there are lawn signs up for her in Franklin.
And there is a real chance that she could still win this election.
While her numerous scandals are almost cartoonish in their extremity,
her behavior is entirely emblematic of Republican politics
from the local level all the way up to the top,
where, if we learned anything this week,
it's that far-right Republicans maintain a vice-like grip over the entire party.
And it frankly seems like our best bet at exposing them going forward
might be if we can somehow get more reporters
to take a page from Nashville's nosiest bitch.
And now, this.
And Now:
People on TV Share Increasingly Unhinged Conspiracy Theories
About Taylor Swift.
The big question is, are Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce dating?
- Is that the big question? - It's been on everybody's mind.
It just makes you think, is there something else going on?
Is Taylor teaming up with the NFL? Something. I don't know.
You're investigating.
There's so many conspiracy theories about this.
Is anything really a coincidence these days?
Is anything accidental? I say where there is smoke, there's fire.
There's a conspiracy involved here.
Our floor director Megan thinks that this is all a cover-up
to conceal Taylor's true boyfriend, who she wants to keep private.
Travis is doing Taylor a solid.
The NFL was struggling to get women to watch football.
And there is a part of me that's like "Huh".
We're getting ready for Taylor Swift's 1989 re-release.
The theme for this album is the color red.
Travis Kelce plays for the Chiefs. They are a big red team.
He was also born in 1989. This is a promotional tool, Travis!
So, Taylor Swift is from Philadelphia originally.
That maybe she's actually trying to mess Travis Kelce up.
You think it's sabotage?
She knows that they're going to get to the Super Bowl.
And the theory is, she's going to eventually ghost him at that point,
and then he's going to play not so good.
It rose all the way to the White House, though.
The White House press secretary was even asked about the potential romance.
Does President Biden think it's real?
In the vernacular of the National Security Council,
I can neither confirm or deny those reports.
Moving on.
Our main story tonight concerns school.
For some, it's the place to make friends and enjoy first crushes,
while for others, and I'm not naming names, it's not.
It's different.
Specifically, we're gonna talk about homeschooling.
During the pandemic, many parents were suddenly forced to do it,
and while some struggled, others, like this family, absolutely thrived.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P,
Q, R, S, T, U, V,
W, X, Y, and Z.
Now you know your ABCs.
That is clearly excellent, but it's also a pretty mean way
to make other parents look like total shit.
Because that is significantly better
than anything I did with my kids during the pandemic,
it was much less singing certified alphabet bangers
and much more "hiding in the closet, praying they would not find me".
Also, quick shoutout to the baby on the counter living her best life.
She has no idea what's going on,
but yet there she is in the center of it all
like Mariah Carey on a New Year's broadcast.
That family, like many, sent their kids back to school.
But for some, homeschooling isn't just a pandemic-era necessity,
it's a way of life.
And you may have heard a stereotype of homeschoolers
being Christian conservatives
who object to what kids learn in public school environments.
And I admit, those people do exist.
Take this man, who offers this pretty shaky rationalization
for pulling his kid out of school.
I think the type of content on what they're teaching about sex or anal sex,
that my third-grade daughter should not be in a classroom
where a teacher or someone else is teaching her about that.
And that was your experience in school?
Through friends in other spots that had been kids at those ages,
'cause mine was only in first grade when we pulled her.
That sounds like total bullshit.
Although I guess I do basically agree with him there,
things that are not happening should continue not to happen.
But the truth is, the homeschooling community
is much broader than just right-wing parents
afraid of hypothetical third grade lube demonstrations.
By one estimate, there are now around two million children
being homeschooled in this country,
and parents can choose that for all sorts of reasons.
Maybe their kids have social or health problems,
or disabilities that aren't being accommodated.
Maybe they're families with legitimate fears about school safety,
or who are in the military and move around a lot.
And there's also a growing number of Black parents
opting to homeschool due to whitewashed curriculums
and zero-tolerance policies in schools
that disproportionately criminalize their kids at an early age.
So, there are lots of reasons to do it.
And the fact is, for some kids,
getting to be homeschooled can be genuinely transformative.
At 15, Victoria asked her mom, Bernita, to take her out of Detroit schools.
She says she was being bullied relentlessly for her appearance,
and it didn't seem like her administrators cared.
It made me not want to ask questions,
or not want to ask specific questions
because I'm like, they're gonna call me dumb.
When you transitioned to homeschooling,
how did you feel about yourself?
I felt more confident.
It was kind of like a sunshine, like the clouds opening a little bit.
That's great! That is very nice.
And I know that's not something you usually hear me say
after a clip on this show.
It's usually a variation of "That's horrible", "Heartbreaking"
or "Shut the fuck up you baby bitch lawn dart".
So, frankly, this is a welcome change of pace.
The point is: the ceiling of how good homeschooling can be
is admittedly very high.
But the floor of how bad it can get is basically nonexistent.
Because to an extent that you may not realize, in many parts of the country,
homeschooling is unregulated which can result in enormous damage.
So, given that, tonight, let's take a look at homeschooling.
There is a lot we don't know about homeschooled kids,
from exactly how many there are, to what they are learning.
When I said "there are around two million" of them,
the reason that's an estimate is that, depending on the state,
homeschool families might not have to report what they are doing at all.
In these 26 states, parents simply have to file a notice once a year
with officials to let them know that they are homeschooling their child.
In these 13, they only have to file a notice once,
with no requirement to check in ever again.
And in the remaining 11, they don't have to notify anyone at all.
And when it comes to the education itself,
filing a notice is typically where supervision stops,
as in most states, there is no oversight,
and no evaluation by anyone of the academic program
and of students' progress.
And homeschooling advocates will tell you that that is not a concern,
and that parents will simply come up with all sorts of innovative ways
to teach their kids.
Here is one parent explaining how he taught his kids science.
I can't tell you how many times, you know, in my home,
at our kitchen table we've dissected sheep eyeballs or frogs.
Kitchens are great labs for this kind of thing.
Where does somebody get a sheep eyeball?
John, you can just Google "sheep eyeball for homeschoolers".
- I didn't know that. - 'Cause lots of people, absolutely.
First, are kitchens the best lab for this kind of thing?
I think probably labs are the best lab for this kind of thing.
I'm just saying, maybe don't go dissecting sheep eyeballs
in the same place where you cut olives for salad.
Do not Google "sheep eyeballs", despite what that man just said.
I did it, and I'm not even gonna show you the result unblurred
because it is too nauseating.
Suffice to say it looks like what would happen if an oyster had a butthole.
But while that man was clearly willing to go to impressive lengths
for at-home science lessons, not everyone has the time
or the resources to develop a curriculum from scratch.
That is why there are big publishers who offer materials
specifically tailored to homeschoolers.
Much of that market is dominated by these 3 Christian textbook publishers
who promise learning through a biblical filter.
And look, it is absolutely a parent's right
to educate their child with religion if they so choose.
But the quality of some of these books can be troubling.
For instance, one current Abeka history book
says that "The beginning of the 20th century
witnessed a cultural breakdown that threatened
to destroy the very roots of western civilization.
The cause of this dissolution
was an idea or philosophy known as liberalism."
A workbook from ACE celebrates the Confederate General Robert E. Lee
as "a devoted Christian
who practiced his Christianity in all his dealings with others"
And a science book from Bob Jones University claims that
"Biblical and scientific evidence tends to support the idea
that men and dinosaurs existed at the same time."
And if you're wondering what that would look like,
ACE actually had a workbook featuring this rendering,
implying that not only did men and dinosaurs exist at the same time,
but they were totally cool with each other.
"Hank, great tucked-in shirt! Do you see that dinosaur over there?"
"Sure do, Bob, love those jeans, by the way. Should we run?"
"No way, these dinos are chill, let's keep whacking these leaves
with that one sword knife that you brought."
While all of that is pretty troubling, the truth is, in many states,
the rules and oversight can be so lax,
parents don't ultimately have to teach their kids anything at all.
Just watch as this former homeschool student breaks down her daily schedule.
This is my list of assignments.
We've got the date at the top. I would have been 12.
First, we've got classical music,
which was just turning on classical music in the morning
so that everyone could hear it.
We've got Bible listening. We've got handwriting and math.
That's fairly normal. We've got memorizing the Bible.
We've got memorizing poetry. The poetry was mostly hymns.
We've got exercise. That's good.
It was usually just walking around the block.
And then the whole entire rest of the list
is chores and cleaning tasks.
It's true! Most of her lessons just involved chores.
And just look at that list! That is a lot of cleaning demands!
Who was her parent? This guy?
I mean, don't get me wrong, he's an absolute zaddy.
Would, will, and I'll take seconds.
But as hot as he makes doing chores seem,
it's not an adequate alternative to education, is it?
Although I will say, even that is a preferable alternative
to the single worst homeschool curriculum that we found,
whose creators excitedly promoted it on a podcast.
We are so deeply invested
into making sure that that child becomes a wonderful Nazi,
and by homeschooling we're going to get that done.
That is terrifying!
You never want to hear a mother lovingly utter the sentence
"My kid's a wonderful Nazi",
outside of maybe if they're praising their son's performance
as Rolf in "The Sound of Music."
And even then, just say "wonderful Rolf".
What's wrong with you?
That woman and her husband launched their own online community,
Dissident Homeschool, in 2021, after she had a, quote, "rough time"
"finding Nazi-approved school material for her homeschool children."
And you know what? Good!
That probably shouldn't be an easy Google.
In fact, if you search for that, it should probably autocorrect to
"Did you mean 'How do I take myself to jail?'"
At one point, Dissident Homeschool had nearly 2,500 subscribers
and included ideas like handwriting exercises
consisting of "writing out quotes from Adolf Hitler."
Which we can all agree is appalling. Handwriting exercises?
That is just cruel.
They should be working on their keyboard skills,
through games like "Mavis Beacon Teaches the Final Solution."
Although, not that, don't actually do that, that is awful.
The channel also posted tips ensuring that their parents
were in "full compliance with the law"
so that "the state" wouldn't interfere.
But as you have already seen, in most states,
they don't have much to worry about there.
When it comes to homeschooling, basically, anything goes.
So, how the fuck is that the case?
In large part, it's thanks to a very powerful homeschooling lobby,
whose most prominent player
is the Home School Legal Defense Association or HSLDA.
Here is where I will concede some ground
because it grew out of an environment that was, in many places,
overly restrictive of homeschooling,
with some states and local school districts banning it entirely.
In Texas, in the 1980s, homeschooling families were prosecuted.
But a turning point came after several Texas families
filed a class-action suit against their school districts, and ultimately won.
And around that same time, the HSLDA was formed,
with the aim of expanding the rights of homeschoolers in every state.
And from the very beginning,
it had a strong evangelical, conservative outlook.
Its founding president and chairman, Michael Farris,
has referred to public schools as a "godless monstrosity."
And here he is back in 2004, speaking to the Christian coalition,
and describing his long-term hopes for the next generation.
Today, it is not preposterous to recognize what's going on,
the promotion of homosexuality,
the promotion of other kinds of things that you heard from Walter Jones,
and you've heard many other times,
is a deplorable reality that we cannot countenance.
I can't wait for the day when our young people
vanquish the enemy by a five-four vote reversing Roe versus Wade.
And where we vanquish the specter of same-sex marriage.
That's the standard of victory.
Okay, there is a lot that is hard to take in that clip,
that that's his wish list, that he's already gotten half of it,
and that he's saying "vanquish the enemy,"
despite looking less like a warrior
and more like your tax accountant's tax accountant's assistant.
Over the years, the HSLDA has lobbied extensively,
from a hard-right perspective,
on issues that have nothing to do with homeschooling,
opposing everything from vaccine mandates to same-sex marriage.
But it speaks to how significant a force it is
that even some parents who are uneasy with its political leanings
feel that they have no choice but to be members.
Here is one mom, who started a homeschooling group
to offer an alternative to what she saw as a whitewashed curriculum,
talking about her relationship to the HSLDA.
Whenever there's a threat in any particular state
to their right to homeschool, you will see us come together.
It may not, we're not gonna stay together, but we will band up
because we all need our right to homeschool.
That's the nuanced aspect of being in the homeschool world.
The people that you have to work with
in order to maintain what you hold dear
are also the people who crush you.
It's true. The HSLDA have made themselves so powerful,
many parents keep working with them
even if they don't agree with everything they stand for.
It's a dilemma otherwise known as "The Tom Cruise Conundrum."
On the one hand, a billion dollars at the box office.
On the other, a billion-year contract to an alien mafia.
It's tricky, right? It's tricky. What's a bunch of young hots to do?
Plus, for what it's worth, the HSLDA, much like Tom Cruise,
will probably never die.
As a lobbying group, it's been astonishingly successful.
In four decades,
its efforts have been credited with rolling back existing laws
governing homeschooling in state after state.
And the argument that it will always make against any regulation
is you're just punishing all the parents doing things right,
to address a handful who are doing it wrong.
And in theory, sure.
But when you've got some parents
running The Homeschool Institute of Dishwashing
and others running 'Lil Nazis "R" Us,
it seems maybe the reins have gotten a little loose.
And the lack of regulation here has serious consequences,
and not just regarding quality of education.
And fair warning, this is where this story gets quite a bit darker.
More than two million children are being homeschooled in the U.S.,
many of them living in states that have little or no regulations,
making it easy for abusive parents to hide behind the system.
These are the faces of just some of the homeschooled children
who've died as a result of abuse and neglect.
Susanna Grubbs was homeschooled in Missouri.
She tells us, the discipline she received was anything but gentle.
I think that, in a lot of ways, me and my siblings fell through the cracks.
Because, I mean, with my mom's disciplinary techniques,
and my mom's educational neglect.
It's terrible that it has happened and it keeps happening.
And nobody wants to stop it because parental rights
are so paramount to anything else in this country.
Exactly. And that is massively dangerous.
Because deregulating homeschooling
doesn't eliminate safeguards against parents who are bad teachers,
it also eliminates them against parents who are bad people.
For all the HSLDA's talk of "parental rights,"
it's worth remembering, Elon Musk is a parent.
OJ Simpson is a parent.
Darth Vader is such a parent he made it part of his fancy name change.
The point is, having a child does not inherently make you virtuous.
And one of the key problems here is, child welfare laws
were written before homeschooling was legal in all 50 states.
So, they rely heavily on the premise that a child is going to be in school
and seen by other adults, as this DA explains.
A lot of child abuse gets reported through our schools.
Teachers and school administrators are mandated reporters.
So, you know, if a child comes to school with bruises or emaciated,
that is a very common way that it gets reported.
Right. Because the fact is, teachers serve multiple functions at school
in addition to education: they watch out for signs of abuse,
they chaperone school events,
and they pretend not to know why Ellie won't sit next to Rachel,
Rachel won't sit next to Kelsey, Kelsey's not talking to Ethan
even though Ethan's having a birthday party with Kelsey's brother, Bryce,
who just happens to be Rachel's boyfriend since last period.
And they do all of that while also trying to teach long division.
Teachers are superheroes who should make a million dollars a year.
So, you can probably see,
the fact that it is possible to pull a kid out of school,
with no questions asked or follow-ups allowed,
could easily be exploited by abusive parents,
especially as most states don't screen homeschool parents for red flags.
"48 states have no background-check process
for parents who choose to homeschool."
Even if you have a prior conviction of a crime against a child,
you can homeschool them.
A study done in Connecticut found that of the 380 students
withdrawn in six districts to be homeschooled,
138 lived in families that were the subject
of at least one prior report of suspected abuse or neglect.
And yet, despite this, at every turn,
HSLDA has vigorously fought efforts to put any guardrails in place.
Here is their then-president, in 2015,
explaining why they fight all regulations,
even ones explicitly designed to prevent child abuse.
Child abuse is a parental issue, isn't it?
Any child, whether they be a non-homeschool child, or a parent,
whether they be a homeschool parent, they can abuse their children.
So, why should we for a few invade all of the other innocent parents?
That's prior restraint. It's unconstitutional. Un-American.
There some categories of regulations around homeschooling
that you would support
that you don't think of as an invasion or a takeover?
No, not any.
It is bad enough that he's arguing for a total lack of regulation there,
but the fact that he openly licks the corners of his mouth
before doing so somehow makes it worse.
He looks like a cat went to a Zoltar machine
and made a wish to be Andy Griffith.
The HSLDA views any oversight whatsoever as an attack,
even offering members a 24-hour hotline in case of a visit from the state.
Here is the sister of that woman you saw earlier,
explaining how they would practice what to do
if Child Protective Services showed up on their doorstep.
The parent would lock the front door,
would call the Home School Legal Defense Association on the phone,
hand the phone out the kitchen window,
and us kids were supposed to hide in the basement.
We actually did drills on this stuff, folks.
We did drills in case someone ever decided to check in on our well-being.
Holy shit, that is dark.
Drills are meant for practicing what to do to avoid getting hurt,
not to avoid getting help.
It's why fire alarms say "pull here in case of emergency"
and not "snitches get stitches."
And the thing is, because of its committed membership,
the HSLDA has the power to stop any kind of oversight in its tracks.
Take Raylee's Law, named after an eight-year-old girl in West Virginia
whose father pulled her out of school after he was reported for abuse.
She died of neglect only a few weeks later.
Eventually, legislators proposed a law
that would prevent parents from withdrawing a child from school
when there is a pending child abuse or neglect investigation
or when a parent has been convicted of domestic violence,
child abuse, or neglect.
And it seems like that law would be easy to get passed, right?
But as the legislator who proposed it found out, not so much.
There are groups I want to say there's like this homeschool defense fund group
that came out against Raylee's Law.
- The HSLDA? - That's it.
And there were quotes about how awful this bill was
and it's an attack on homeschooling
and they want to move the goal post.
That's what you do in politics, but I thought, maybe,
protecting children, you wouldn't go about that.
Right, and that seems pretty reasonable.
And if the HSLDA thinks trying to protect kids
from being taken out of school by people convicted of child abuse
is an attack on homeschooling,
they're saying quite a bit about what they believe homeschooling to be.
If Chili's responded to a health inspector
writing their workers up for pissing in the skillet queso with
"This is an attack on everything Chili's stands for.
Don't punish the majority of our staff for the minority
who piss and shit in our Presidente Margaritas,"
you'd have some questions about what Chili's thinks it stands for.
And for the record, that man's bill never passed.
And that story's been repeated in state after state after state.
As one legislative aide who's gone up against the HSLDA has said
"I've never seen a lobby more powerful and scary".
And a legislator in Arkansas who tangled with them says
"They told me the only legislation they wanted was what Alaska had,
which was nothing."
At a certain point, it starts to feel like the HSLDA
is basically the homeschooling equivalent of the NRA,
an extremely powerful organization
that, while it represents a large number of people,
pursues an outermost-fringe version of their agenda.
So, where do we go from here?
In a perfect world, we'd make sure that homeschooled kids
were both safe and actually receiving a functional education.
There are smaller organizations like this one,
pushing for those sort of changes.
But at the barest minimum, we could require, in all 50 states,
to register a child as homeschooled,
so there's at least a record that they exist.
That is how low the bar is here, at the Earth's core,
which I'm sure, according to at least one homeschooling textbook,
is somewhere between soil and the fiery bowels of Hell.
But beyond that, we could pass some basic child safety protections
to ensure parents can't pull their kids out of school
to escape scrutiny for abuse.
A few years ago, to its credit, Georgia passed a law
that requires parents who pull kids out of school for no reason
to send documentation within 45 days
that they are homeschooling their child,
or proof of attendance at another school.
If they don't do that, they're subject to a follow-up from the state.
Even this Republican Georgia state rep acknowledges that it was needed.
If the people in your world that you believe are most protective of you
are torturing you or abusing you, who's gonna look out for you?
I don't like government intervention in a lot of things,
but the government's the only person I know
of that can intervene in this kind of case to save a child.
Yeah, he's right. He's just completely right.
And agreeing with a staunch Republican Georgia state rep
wasn't something I had on my 2023 bingo card.
I've almost got a full bingo by the way,
I'm just waiting on you know who to you know what.
To be clear, I share his ambivalence about government intervention here.
Involving social services and the government in personal situations
poses a risk, especially to those who aren't wealthy and who aren't white.
I don't love the idea
of giving the state room to poke around in people's lives,
or that I think our child protective services system is flawless, no notes.
We're almost definitely gonna be doing a main story on CPS one day.
But it does seem like giving parents
a "get out of all scrutiny free, no questions asked" card
just isn't the answer here.
Because being a parent doesn't automatically make someone moral.
And being with a parent doesn't automatically make a child safe.
And the truth is, a few extra security measures would not hurt
the many parents who homeschool their children responsibly,
but they'd definitely safeguard against those who use "personal liberty"
as an excuse to neglect or harm their kids.
The HSLDA can say all that it wants
that it doesn't support Nazis or child abusers,
but the policies that it relentlessly pushes for allow them to thrive.
And basic reforms here shouldn't be remotely controversial,
because after all, this is about child welfare.
This isn't rocket science. It's not home sheep-eye dissection.
Don't Google it, by the way, I cannot emphasize that enough.
All of this is basic common sense. And now, this.
And Now:
The Surprising Importance of Emojis on "Divorce Court".
I had to have somebody explain it to me because I didn't get it
Is a conversation has occurred through emoji and GIF
in which you posted a waterfall,
which means you're in a state of sexual excitation.
Your Honor, she's a talented surfer
who sends my husband eggplant emojis.
Peach emojis!
Were you sending water splashing emojis?
- To your ex? - Yes, he was.
Did you send a heart-kissing emoji to your "cousin?"
Why would she send you cucumber and eggplant emojis?
- She has a bit of sense of humor. - That ain't funny.
When you saw the photo,
did you think it was appropriate to leave a drooling face emoji?
And why was she saved in your phone as the blueberry?
Some she sweet.
So, she cute and sweet. So, you saved it as a blueberry.
It was just the first thing that popped in my mind.
Found texts to a guy with a smiley face
with the mouth wide open and a purple thing, like a
I mean, smoking gun.
That's a smoking gun.
That's our show! See you next week, good night!