♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!"
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK.
AS OF TAPING, ISRAEL IS, IN THE
WORDS OF ITS PRIME MINISTER, "AT
WAR," FEMA RAN A TEST TO SEE HOW
EFFECTIVELY OUR PHONES COULD
SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF US, AND
KEVIN McCARTHY WAS THE VICTIM OF
THE FIRST-EVER INTRA-PARTY COUP
AGAINST A SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE.
IT LEFT NORTH CAROLINA
REPRESENTATIVE PATRICK McHENRY
-- PATTON OSWALT AS A
VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY -- SERVING
AS TEMPORARY SPEAKER.
AND HE SEEMED PRETTY ANGRY AFTER
McCARTHY'S OUSTING.
>> THE CHAIR DECLARES THE HOUSE
IN RECESS, SUBJECT TO THE CALL
OF THE CHAIR.
[LAUGHTER]
>> John: WOW, THAT MAN IS MAD.
WHICH IS ONLY SLIGHTLY
UNDERMINED BY THE FACT THAT HE'S
DRESSED LIKE A 4-YEAR-OLD WHO'S
GOING TO FUCK UP THE WHOLE
WEDDING.
ELECTIONS FOR THE NEW SPEAKER
WILL LIKELY BE HELD THIS WEEK,
AND SO FAR THE FRONT RUNNERS
SEEM TO BE FAR-RIGHT JIM JORDAN
OR STEVE SCALISE, WHO'S BEEN
DESCRIBED AS "DAVID DUKE WITHOUT
THE BAGGAGE."
AND YOU KNOW WHO DESCRIBED HIM
AS THAT?
HE DID!
AND TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS
DAVID DUKE -- THE FORMER GRAND
WIZARD OF THE KKK -- WITHOUT THE
BAGGAGE, IS A "CHOICE."
THAT MAN IS ALL BAGGAGE.
WITHOUT IT, HE'S JUST THE
CRYPTKEEPER WITH A PATCHY BLEACH
JOB.
IT IS PRETTY CLEAR THAT THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY IS BEING
CONTROLLED BY THE ABSOLUTE
EXTREMES.
BUT NOT JUST NATIONALLY, AT THE
LOCAL LEVEL TOO.
AND TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW BAD
IT'S GOTTEN, JUST LOOK AT THE
MAYORAL RACE UNFOLDING IN THE
CITY OF FRANKLIN, TENNESSEE,
WHERE THEIR CURRENT REPUBLICAN
MAYOR IS FACING THIS WOMAN,
GABRIELLE HANSON, A REAL ESTATE
AGENT AND CURRENT ALDERMAN.
SHE'S BRANDED HERSELF AS A
HARDCORE MAGA CANDIDATE AND HAS
POSTED PHOTOS OF HERSELF AT
MAR-A-LAGO.
AND LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS THERE!
THAT'S THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO
JUST DINED ON A WELL-DONE STEAK
AND READ SOME CLASSIFIED
DOCUMENTS ON THE TOILET.
ANYWAY, BACK IN APRIL, HANSON
MADE NEWS FOR OPPOSING THE
CITY'S PRIDE EVENT, ARGUING ITS
PARTICIPANTS COULDN'T BE TRUSTED
AROUND CHILDREN, AND OFFERING
THIS CRITIQUE OF PREVIOUS
PERFORMERS.
>> IN ONE OF THE PICTURES OF
JAIDYNN DIORE FIERCE, ONE OF THE
MISS FITS, SHE'S CLAD IN AN
ELMO-THEMED DRAG OUTFIT, WHICH
I'M SURE TO AN UNDERAGE
INDIVIDUAL, THIS COULD CREATE
CONFUSION IN THEIR MIND AS TO
WHAT'S BEING REPRESENTED.
>> John: OKAY, BUT BY THAT
LOGIC, WE SHOULD OUTLAW CHILDREN
FROM WALKING AROUND TIMES
SQUARE, TOO, BECAUSE SEEING OLAF
FROM "FROZEN" WITH HIS HEAD
POPPED OFF, SMOKING A BLACK &
MILD IS WAY MORE CONFUSING THAN
SOMEONE WEARING EYESHADOW AND AN
ELMO THEMED BODYSUIT.
ALSO, FOR THE RECORD, HER NAME
IS JAIDYNN "DIOR" FIERCE, NOT
"DIOREE," AND ELMO IS NOT
REMOTELY HER FINEST WORK.
BECAUSE SHE'S CONSTANTLY SERVING
CARTOON LOOKS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MINION
SERVE BODY?
BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOW.
HANSON ALSO TRIED TO PRESSURE
THE NASHVILLE AIRPORT OUT OF
FUNDING A JUNETEENTH
CELEBRATION, SAYING, "I DON'T
WANT MY TAX DOLLARS OR FEES OFF
OF PLANE TICKETS GOING TO
RADICAL AGENDAS."
AND WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOU'RE
TALKING TO AN AIRPORT,
GABRIELLE.
IT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
IT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE.
IT'S AN AIRPORT.
THE ONLY FOOD AVAILABLE IS
EITHER DILL PICKLE ALMONDS OR
BRISKET NACHOS, WITH NO MIDDLE
GROUND.
IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DRINK AT 7
AM, AND THEY WILL SELL YOUR LOST
LUGGAGE.
THE AIRPORT IS A CRUEL,
UNFEELING DIMENSION,
UNINTERESTED IN YOUR CULTURE WAR
BULLSHIT.
NOW, SINCE THEN, HANSON SEEMS TO
HAVE TRIED TO BROADEN HER BASE,
POSTING PHOTOS OF DIVERSE GROUPS
OF SUPPORTERS, INCLUDING THIS
ONE, LABELED AS AN "EXECUTIVE
WOMEN'S CLUB" WHO SHE SAID HAD
PROVIDED "INVALUABLE SUPPORT AND
ENCOURAGEMENT" WITH THE HASHTAG
#VOTEHANSON.
BUT WHILE THAT MIGHT SEEM LIKE
AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THOSE WOMEN,
WATCH WHAT HAPPENED WHEN A LOCAL
REPORTER TRACKED ONE DOWN AND
ASKED A PRETTY SIMPLE QUESTION.
>> I DO NOT, I ACTUALLY DO NOT
KNOW WHO THAT IS.
>> AFTER SOME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
NOTICED THE PIC SEEMED TO HAVE
BEEN TAKEN AT A RESTAURANT IN
CHICAGO, HANSON POSTED AN UPDATE
ON FACEBOOK CLAIMING, "THESE ARE
ALL MY FRIENDS THAT HAVE
RELOCATED TO NASHVILLE,
BRENTWOOD, AND FRANKLIN AND THEY
ALL SUPPORT ME."
THE WOMEN SAY THAT'S A LIE.
>> ANY MESSAGE YOU WOULD HAVE
FOR HER?
>> I WOULD ENCOURAGE HER TO GO
MAKE GENUINE FRIENDS SO SHE CAN
TAKE PHOTOS WITH THOSE FOLKS IF
SHE'S LOOKING FOR SUPPORTERS.
THERE'S NO NEED TO COMB PICTURES
ON THE INTERNET TO MAKE UP A
STORY.
NONE OF US NEED THAT.
>> John: WOW.
NOT ONLY ARE THOSE WOMEN CLEARLY
NOT YOUR FRIENDS, YOU DEFINITELY
JUST UNITED THEM AGAINST YOU.
I GUARANTEE YOU, ONE OF THEM
DROPPED YOUR POST IN THE GROUP
CHAT, AND THE REPLIES ARE STILL
GOING.
AND THE THING IS, HANSON HAS
BEEN CAUGHT LYING ABOUT WEIRD
SHIT A TRULY RIDICULOUS AMOUNT
OF TIMES.
EARLIER THIS YEAR, DURING A
PODCAST INTERVIEW, SHE CLAIMED
TO HAVE PREDICTED THE COVENANT
SCHOOL SHOOTING IN NASHVILLE,
STATING THAT SHE'D HAD A "GUT"
PREMONITION ABOUT IT, CHALKING
IT UP TO WHAT "COULD HAVE BEEN A
HOLY SPIRIT THING."
WHAT'S MORE, SHE ALSO CLAIMED
THAT SHE'D TOLD A POLICE OFFICER
ABOUT THAT PREMONITION WHEN HE
CAME TO HER HOME OVER A
DIFFERENT ISSUE.
THE PROBLEM IS, THAT SAME LOCAL
REPORTER TRACKED DOWN THAT
OFFICER'S BODYCAM VIDEO, WHICH
TOLD A DIFFERENT STORY.
>> DURING THAT 23-MINUTE VIDEO,
SHE NEVER MENTIONS ANYTHING
REMOTELY LIKE THE COVENANT
SCHOOL SHOOTING.
NO MENTION OF A PREMONITION, NO
MENTION OF AN ACTIVE SHOOTER, NO
MENTION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND HANSON'S FABRICATIONS HAVE
GONE EVEN FURTHER IN A TALK
RADIO INTERVIEW QUESTIONING HOW
ACTRESS MELISSA JOAN HART
HAPPENED TO BE NEAR COVENANT AT
THE TIME OF THE SHOOTING TO HELP
CHILDREN WHO WERE TRYING TO
ESCAPE.
>> WELL, MAYBE THAT'S WHY
MELISSA JOAN HART WAS THERE, SHE
MUST HAVE KNOWN IT WAS GOING TO
HAPPEN ALSO.
>> John: WAIT, WHAT?
"MELISSA JOAN HART PSYCHICALLY
KNOWS WHEN A SCHOOL SHOOTING IS
ABOUT TO HAPPEN."
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING AN ELECTED
OFFICIAL SHOULD SAY IN AN
INTERVIEW, IT'S WHAT A DISNEY
CHANNEL EXEC PROBABLY SCREAMED
IN 2002, AFTER INHALING A METRIC
TON OF COCAINE.
[LAUGHTER]
AND BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,
LET'S TAKE A MOMENT TO
ACKNOWLEDGE THAT REPORTER, PHIL
WILLIAMS.
HE'S BEEN ALL OVER THIS STORY,
AND WE'VE FEATURED HIS WORK ON
THIS SHOW A BUNCH IN THE PAST.
IF YOU'RE A POLITICIAN IN
TENNESSEE, PHIL HAS HIS FOOT ON
YOUR GODDAMN NECK.
HIS OFFICIAL NEWS CHANNEL 5 BIO
FEATURES A QUOTE FROM A
NASHVILLE POLITICAL STRATEGIST,
SAYING:
IF THE PRESS CALLS CALL A
LAWYER.
THIS IS A BAD, BAD MAN.
YOU DO NOT FUCK AROUND WITH PHIL
WILLIAMS.
AND IT SEEMS GABRIELLE HANSON IS
CURRENTLY IN HER "FINDING OUT"
ERA WHEN IT COMES TO HER
DEALINGS WITH HIM, BECAUSE
PHIL'S UNCOVERED SO MUCH WEIRD
NEW CONTEXT AROUND HER LIFE.
REMEMBER HER BULLSHIT OUTRAGE
OVER THE LOCAL PRIDE EVENT?
WELL, PHIL DISCOVERED SOMETHING
HER HUSBAND ONCE DID THAT
SUGGESTS A HELL OF A DOUBLE
STANDARD.
>> CHILDREN SEEING IMAGES THAT
THEY COULD NOT UNSEE WAS WHY THE
FRANKLIN ALDERMAN SAID SHE TRIED
TO BLOCK A PRIDE CELEBRATION AT
A FRANKLIN PARK, SAYING IN A
PODCAST INTERVIEW, IT WAS A
QUESTION OF BASIC MORALITY.
YET, WHERE WAS HER MORALITY
DURING CHICAGO'S 2008 PRIDE
PARADE BEFORE THE HANSONS MOVED
TO TENNESSEE?
AT THE TIME, TOM HANSON WAS
RUNNING A REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN
FOR CONGRESS AND ORGANIZERS
AGREED TO LET HIM IN.
HE TOLD THE LOCAL LGBTQ
NEWSPAPER, QUOTE, "SO IT JUST
CAME TO ME.
I SAID, MAYBE I'LL WEAR AN
AMERICAN FLAG SPEEDO.
AND MY WIFE SAID, IF YOU DO
THAT, I'LL HOLD YOU TO IT."
>> John: MAGNIFICENT.
SO, TO RECAP, SNATCHED ELMO?
IRREPARABLY HARMFUL TO CHILDREN.
STAR-SPANGLED BALL-BAG HERE?
THAT'S APPARENTLY COMPLETELY
FINE WITH HER!
ALSO -- AND I'M NOT HERE TO
POLICE ANYONE ELSE'S DRAG --
BUT IS HE...
TUCKED?
COULD JUST HAVE BEEN COLD!
IT WAS JUNE, THOUGH.
ANYWAY.
AND IF ALL THAT WASN'T ENOUGH,
JUST THIS WEEK, HANSON WAS
CAUGHT UP IN YET ANOTHER
SCANDAL.
THIS TIME, INVOLVING AN
EYE-CATCHING GROUP THAT SHOWED
UP TO SUPPORT AND PROTECT HER AT
A CANDIDATE FORUM.
>> THE MAN ON THE LEFT IS SEAN
KAUFFMANN, WHO HAS BEEN
DESCRIBED BY THE STOP
ANTISEMITISM WATCHDOG GROUP AS,
QUOTE, "A DISTURBED NEO-NAZI AND
HOLOCAUST DENIER WITH A
DOCUMENTED HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
AND A MASSIVE CACHE OF
FIREARMS."
THEN THERE'S BRAD LEWIS.
HE'S THE OPERATOR OF THE LEWIS
COUNTRY STORE ON THE FAR WEST
SIDE OF NASHVILLE, A STORE KNOWN
FOR ITS EXTREME RIGHT-WING
MESSAGING.
WHEN THE STORE RECENTLY WENT ON
THE MARKET, GABRIELLE HANSON WAS
THE REAL ESTATE AGENT WHO GOT
THE LISTING.
A RECENT INVESTIGATION BY THE
SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER
REVEALED HOW THE SECOND FLOOR OF
THE STORE WAS BEING USED AS A
WHITE NATIONALIST FIGHT CLUB.
LEWIS RESPONDED IN A POST ON
TELEGRAM, CALLING HIMSELF AN
"ACTUAL LITERAL NAZI."
>> MS. HANSON, THE PEOPLE YOU'RE
WITH HAD DESCRIBED THEMSELVES AS
LITERAL NAZIS.
IS THIS THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU
SHOULD BE ASSOCIATING WITH?
>> EXCUSE ME.
>> THEY SAID THEY'RE LITERAL
NAZIS.
>> John: AGAIN, PHIL WILLIAMS IS
JUST WRECKING HER.
WAVING A CELL PHONE IN HANSON'S
FACE AND ASKING, "DO YOU HANG
OUT WITH NAZIS OR WHAT?"
AND DOING IT LOUD ENOUGH FOR THE
WHOLE ROW TO HEAR.
ALSO, WHAT ON EARTH DID THAT
CURSED ZILLOW LISTING LOOK LIKE?
"GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO
OWN/OPERATE YOUR BUSINESS
IN THIS INCOME-GENERATING,
3-UNIT MIXED-USE WHITE
SUPREMACIST BUILDING.
FIRST FLOOR IS A STORE WITH
TERRIBLE VIBES, AND THE SECOND
FLOOR UNIT IS A NEO-NAZI FIGHT
CLUB.
SOLD AS IS."
NOW, HANSON DENIES ENGAGING THAT
GROUP AS SECURITY, DESPITE THE
FACT SHE WALKED INTO THAT
MEETING WITH A HOLOCAUST DENIER,
WHILE HER HUSBAND WAS ESCORTED
IN BY A GUY WITH A "PROUD BOYS"
FACE TATTOO.
AND SHE'S TRIED TO DEFLECT
CRITICISM OVER THE FACT SHE TOOK
A LITERAL NAZI'S REAL ESTATE
LISTING.
BUT, EVEN IN DOING SO, MADE SOME
BOLD CHOICES.
>> IF YOU BASED ME ON ALL THE
CLIENTS THAT I'M REPRESENTING
CURRENTLY, I WOULD BE A WHITE
SUPREMACIST, NEO-NAZI, I WOULD
BE A LESBIAN LIKE MY ONE CLIENT,
AND I WOULD BE BLACK, TOO.
SO, THAT IS WHO I WOULD BE IF
YOU'RE GONNA BLAME ME FOR THE
CLIENTS THAT I REPRESENT,
BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE CLIENTS AT
THIS VERY MOMENT THAT I'M
REPRESENTING.
AND I WOULD PROBABLY BE A MUSLIM
JIHADIST AS WELL, BECAUSE I HAVE
A MIDDLE EASTERN CLIENT, TOO.
>> John: OKAY, GABS, BUT YOU DID
JUST IMPLY ONE OF YOUR CLIENTS
WAS A "MUSLIM JIHADIST," SIMPLY
BASED ON THE FACT THAT THEY ARE
MIDDLE EASTERN, SO I'D SAY
YOU'RE PROBABLY MORE OF A WHITE
SUPREMACIST NEO-NAZI THAN YOU
ARE LESBIAN OR BLACK.
AND LOOK, IN A WORLD THAT MADE
SENSE, THIS WOMAN WOULD
OBVIOUSLY HAVE WITHDRAWN FROM
THIS MAYORAL RACE IN SHAME.
BUT SHE STILL HAS SUPPORTERS.
THERE ARE LAWN SIGNS UP FOR HER
IN FRANKLIN.
AND THERE'S A REAL CHANCE SHE
COULD WIN THIS ELECTION.
BECAUSE WHILE HER NUMEROUS
SCANDALS ARE CLEARLY ALMOST
CARTOONISH IN THEIR EXTREMITY,
HER BEHAVIOR IS ENTIRELY
EMBLEMATIC OF REPUBLICAN
POLITICS FROM THE LOCAL LEVEL
ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TOP.
WHERE, IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING
THIS WEEK, IT'S THAT FAR-RIGHT
REPUBLICANS MAINTAIN A VICE-LIKE
GRIP OVER THE ENTIRE PARTY.
AND OUR BEST CHANCE AT EXPOSING
THEM IS IF A LOT MORE REPORTERS
TAKE A PAGE FROM NASHVILLE'S
NOSIEST BITCH.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW,
PEOPLE ON TV SHARING
INCREASINGLY UNHINGED CONSPIRACY
THEORIES ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT.
>> OKAY, THE BIG QUESTION IS,
ARE TAYLOR SWIFT AND
TRAVIS KELCE DATING?
>> IT JUST MAKES YOU THINK IS
THERE SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON?
DID TAYLOR TEAM UP WITH THE NFL,
SOMETHING.
IF WE ARE INVESTIGATING.
IN SO MANY CONSPIRACY THEORIES
ABOUT THIS.
>> IS ANYTHING REALLY A
CONSPIRACY THEORY THESE DAYS?
A COINCIDENCE?
>> MY DIRECTOR THINKS IT'S A
COVER-UP TO CONCEAL TAYLOR'S
TRUE BOYFRIEND WHO HE SHE WANTS TO
KEEP PRIVATE.
>> THE NFL IS STRUGGLING TO GET
WOMEN TO WATCH FOOTBALL.
>> WE ARE GETTING READY FOR
TAYLOR SWIFT 1989 RE-RELEASE.
THE THEME FOR THE ALBUM IS THE
COLOR RED, TRAVIS KELCE PLAYS
FOR THE CHIEFS.
THEY ARE A BIG RED TEAM.
HE WAS BORN IN 1989.
>> THIS IS A PROMOTIONAL MOVE.
>> TAYLOR SWIFT FROM
PHILADELPHIA ORIGINALLY.
MAYBE SHE'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO
MESS TRAVIS KELCE UP.
>> YOU THINK IT SABOTAGED.
>> NO, THEY'RE GOING TO GET TO
SUPER BOWL.
AT THE THEORY ISSUES ARE
EVENTUALLY GOING TO GHOST HIM AT
THAT POINT.
>> AND GROSS ALL THE WAY TO THE
WHITE HOUSE.
THE PRESS SECRETARY SPOKE ABOUT
THE POTENTIAL ROMANCE.
>> IN THE BRACKET OF THE
NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL I
COULD NOT CONFIRM OR THE REPORTS
REPORTS.
[LAUGHTER AND CHEERING]
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
SCHOOL.
FOR SOME, IT'S THE PLACE TO MAKE
LIFELONG FRIENDS AND ENJOY FIRST
CRUSHES, WHILE FOR OTHERS, AND
I'M NOT NAMING NAMES, IT'S NOT.
SPECIFICALLY, WE'RE GOING TO
TALK ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING.
DURING THE PANDEMIC, MANY
PARENTS WERE SUDDENLY FORCED TO
DO IT, AND WHILE SOME STRUGGLED,
OTHERS -- LIKE THIS FAMILY --
ABSOLUTELY THRIVED.
>> A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J,
K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U,
V, W, X, Y, Z.
NOW YOU KNOW YOUR ABC'S.
>> John: THAT'S CLEARLY
EXCELLENT, BUT ALSO A PRETTY
MEAN WAY TO MAKE OTHER PARENTS
LOOK LIKE TOTAL SHIT.
BECAUSE THAT'S SIGNIFICANTLY
BETTER THAN ANYTHING I DID WITH
MY KIDS DURING THE PANDEMIC.
IT WAS MUCH LESS SINGING
CERTIFIED ALPHABET BANGERS AND
MUCH MORE "HIDING IN THE CLOSET,
PRAYING THEY WOULDN'T FIND ME."
ALSO, QUICK SHOUT OUT TO THE
BABY ON THE COUNTER LIVING HER
BEST LIFE.
SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON,
BUT YET THERE SHE IS IN THE
CENTER OF IT ALL LIKE
MARIAH CAREY ON A NEW YEAR'S
BROADCAST.
NOW, THAT FAMILY -- LIKE MANY --
EVENTUALLY SENT THEIR KIDS BACK
TO SCHOOL.
BUT FOR SOME, HOMESCHOOLING
ISN'T JUST A PANDEMIC ERA
NECESSITY, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.
AND YOU MAY HAVE HEARD A
STEREOTYPE OF HOMESCHOOLERS
BEING CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVES
WHO OBJECT TO WHAT KIDS LEARN IN
PUBLIC SCHOOL ENVIRONMENTS.
AND I ADMIT, THOSE PEOPLE DO
EXIST.
TAKE THIS MAN, WHO OFFERS THIS
PRETTY SHAKY RATIONALIZATION FOR
PULLING HIS KIDS OUT OF SCHOOL.
>> I THINK THE TYPE OF CONTENT
ON WHAT THEY'RE TEACHING ABOUT
SEX OR ANAL SEX.
THAT MY THIRD-GRADE DAUGHTER
SHOULD NOT BE IN A CLASSROOM
WHERE A TEACHER OR SOMEONE ELSE
IS TEACHING HER ABOUT THAT.
>> AND THAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE
IN SCHOOL?
>> I THROUGH -- THROUGH FRIENDS
IN OTHER SPOTS THAT HAD BEEN
KIDS AT THOSE AGES BECAUSE MINE
WAS ONLY IN FIRST GRADE WHEN WE
PULLED THEM.
>> John: WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
TOTAL BULLSHIT.
ALTHOUGH I GUESS I DO BASICALLY
AGREE WITH HIM: THINGS THAT ARE
DEFINITELY NOT HAPPENING, SHOULD
CONTINUE NOT TO HAPPEN.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, THE
HOMESCHOOLING COMMUNITY IS MUCH
BROADER THAN JUST RIGHT-ING
PARENTS AFRAID OF HYPOTHETICAL
3RD GRADE LUBE DEMONSTRATIONS.
BY ONE ESTIMATE, THERE ARE NOW
AROUND 2 MILLION CHILDREN BEING
HOMESCHOOLED IN THIS COUNTRY,
AND PARENTS CAN CHOOSE THAT FOR
ALL SORTS OF REASONS.
MAYBE THEIR KIDS HAVE SOCIAL OR
HEALTH PROBLEMS, OR DISABILITIES
THAT AREN'T BEING ACCOMMODATED.
MAYBE THEY'RE FAMILIES WITH
LEGITIMATE FEARS ABOUT SCHOOL
SAFETY, OR WHO ARE IN THE
MILITARY AND MOVE A LOT.
AND THERE'S ALSO A GROWING
NUMBER OF BLACK PARENTS OPTING
TO HOME-SCHOOL DUE TO
WHITE-WASHED CURRICULUMS AND
ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICIES IN
SCHOOLS THAT DISPROPORTIONATELY
CRIMINALIZE THEIR KIDS AT AN
EARLY AGE.
SO THERE ARE A LOT OF REASONS TO
DO IT.
AND THE FACT IS, FOR SOME KIDS,
GETTING TO BE HOMESCHOOLED CAN
BE TRANSFORMATIVE.
>> AT 15, VICTORIA ASKED HER MOM
BERNITA TO TAKE HER OUT OF
DETROIT SCHOOLS.
SHE SAYS SHE WAS BEING BULLIED
RELENTLESSLY FOR HER APPEARANCE
AND IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE HER
ADMINISTRATORS CARED.
>> IT MADE ME NOT WANT TO ASK
QUESTIONS, YOU KNOW, OR NOT WANT
TO ASK SPECIFIC QUESTIONS
BECAUSE I'M LIKE, OH, AM I
LIKE -- THEY'RE GOING TO CALL ME
DUMB.
>> WHEN YOU TRANSITIONED TO
HOMESCHOOLING, HOW DID YOU START
TO FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF?
>> I FELT MORE CONFIDENT.
IT WAS JUST LIKE A KIND OF LIKE
A SUNSHINE, LIKE THE CLOUDS
OPENING A LITTLE BIT.
>> John: THAT'S VERY NICE!
AND I KNOW THAT THAT'S NOT
SOMETHING YOU USUALLY HEAR ME
SAY AFTER A CLIP ON THIS SHOW.
IT'S USUALLY A VARIATION OF
"THAT'S HORRIBLE," "THAT'S
HEARTBREAKING," OR "SHUT THE
FUCK UP YOU BABY BITCH LAWN
DART."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO FRANKLY, THIS IS A WELCOME
CHANGE OF PACE.
THE POINT IS, THE CEILING OF HOW
GOOD HOMESCHOOLING CAN BE IS
ADMITTEDLY VERY HIGH.
BUT THE FLOOR OF HOW BAD IT CAN
GET IS BASICALLY NONEXISTENT.
BECAUSE TO AN EXTENT YOU MAY NOT
REALIZE, IN MANY PARTS OF THE
COUNTRY, HOMESCHOOLING IS
ESSENTIALLY UNREGULATED.
WHICH CAN RESULT IN ENORMOUS
DAMAGE.
SO GIVEN THAT, TONIGHT, LET'S
TAKE A LOOK AT HOMESCHOOLING.
AND LET'S START WITH THE FACT
THERE'S A LOT WE DON'T KNOW
ABOUT HOMESCHOOLED KIDS -- FROM
EXACTLY HOW MANY THERE ARE, TO
WHAT THEY'RE LEARNING.
WHEN I SAID, "THERE ARE AROUND 2
MILLION" OF THEM, THE REASON
THAT'S AN ESTIMATE IS THAT,
DEPENDING ON THE STATE,
HOMESCHOOL FAMILIES MIGHT NOT
HAVE TO REPORT WHAT THEY'RE
DOING AT ALL.
IN THESE 26 STATES, PARENTS
SIMPLY HAVE TO FILE A NOTICE
ONCE A YEAR WITH OFFICIALS TO
LET THEM KNOW THEY'RE
HOMESCHOOLING THEIR CHILD.
IN THESE THIRTEEN, THEY ONLY
HAVE TO FILE A NOTICE ONCE, WITH
NO REQUIREMENT TO EVER CHECK IN
AGAIN.
AND IN THE REMAINING 11, THEY
DON'T HAVE TO NOTIFY ANYONE
AT ALL.
AND WHEN IT COMES TO THE
EDUCATION ITSELF, FILING A
NOTICE IS TYPICALLY WHERE
SUPERVISION STOPS, AS IN MOST
STATES, THERE IS NO OVERSIGHT,
AND NO EVALUATION BY ANYONE OF
THE ACADEMIC PROGRAM AND OF
STUDENTS' PROGRESS.
AND HOMESCHOOLING ADVOCATES WILL
TELL YOU THAT'S NOT A CONCERN,
AND THAT PARENTS WILL SIMPLY
COME UP WITH ALL SORTS OF
INNOVATIVE WAYS TO TEACH THEIR
KIDS.
HERE'S ONE PARENT
ENTHUSIASTICALLY EXPLAINING HOW
HE TAUGHT HIS KIDS SCIENCE.
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY
TIMES, YOU KNOW, IN MY HOME, AT
OUR KITCHEN TABLE WE'VE
DISSECTED, YOU KNOW, SHEEP
EYEBALLS OR FROGS.
KITCHEN -- KITCHEN'S ARE GREAT
LABS FOR THIS KIND OF THING.
>> WHERE DOES --
>> SO, THEY'LL GET TOGETHER --
>> WHERE DOES SOMEBODY GET A
SHEEP EYEBALL?
>> [LAUGHS]
WELL, JOHN, YOU CAN JUST
GOOGLE SHEEP EYEBALL FOR
HOMESCHOOLERS.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> 'CAUSE LOTS OF PEOPLE --
ABSOLUTELY.
>> John: OKAY, FIRST, ARE
KITCHENS THE BEST LAB FOR THIS
KIND OF THING?
I THINK PROBABLY LABS ARE THE
BEST LAB FOR THIS KIND OF THING.
I'M JUST SAYING -- MAYBE DON'T
GO DISSECTING SHEEP EYEBALLS IN
THE SAME PLACE WHERE YOU CUT
OLIVES FOR SALAD.
ALSO, DO NOT GOOGLE SHEEP
EYEBALLS.
I DID, AND I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO
SHOW YOU THE RESULT UNBLURRED,
BECAUSE IT'S TOO NAUSEATING.
SUFFICE TO SAY, IT LOOKS LIKE
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF AN OYSTER
HAD A BUTTHOLE.
BUT WHILE THAT MAN WAS CLEARLY
WILLING TO GO TO IMPRESSIVE
LENGTHS FOR AT-HOME SCIENCE
LESSONS, NOT EVERYONE HAS THE
TIME OR THE RESOURCES TO DEVELOP
A CURRICULUM FROM SCRATCH.
THAT'S WHY THERE ARE BIG
PUBLISHERS WHO OFFER MATERIALS
SPECIFICALLY TAILORED TO
HOMESCHOOLERS.
MUCH OF THAT MARKET IS DOMINATED
BY THESE THREE CHRISTIAN
TEXTBOOK PUBLISHERS WHO PROMISE
LEARNING THROUGH A BIBLICAL
FILTER.
AND LOOK, IT IS ABSOLUTELY A
PARENT'S RIGHT TO EDUCATE THEIR
CHILD WITH RELIGION IF THEY SO
CHOOSE.
BUT THE QUALITY OF SOME OF THESE
BOOKS CAN BE TROUBLING.
FOR INSTANCE, ONE CURRENT ABEKA
HISTORY BOOK SAYS THAT "THE
BEGINNING OF THE 20TH CENTURY
WITNESSED A CULTURAL BREAKDOWN
THAT THREATENED TO DESTROY THE
VERY ROOTS OF WESTERN
CIVILIZATION.
THE CAUSE OF THIS DISSOLUTION
WAS AN IDEA OR PHILOSOPHY KNOWN
AS LIBERALISM."
MEANWHILE, A WORKBOOK FROM ACE
CELEBRATES THE CONFEDERATE
GENERAL ROBERT E. LEE AS "A
DEVOTED CHRISTIAN WHO PRACTICED
HIS CHRISTIANITY IN ALL HIS
DEALINGS WITH OTHERS."
AND A SCIENCE BOOK FROM
BOB JONES UNIVERSITY CLAIMS
THAT, "BIBLICAL AND SCIENTIFIC
EVIDENCE TENDS TO SUPPORT THE
IDEA THAT MEN AND DINOSAURS
EXISTED AT THE SAME TIME."
AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT
THAT WOULD LOOK LIKE, ACE HAD A
WORKBOOK FEATURING THIS
RENDERING -- IMPLYING THAT NOT
ONLY DID MEN AND DINOSAURS EXIST
AT THE SAME TIME, BUT THEY WERE
BOTH TOTALLY COOL WITH EACH
OTHER.
"HEY HANK, GREAT TUCKED IN
SHIRT!
DO YOU SEE THAT DINOSAUR OVER
THERE?"
"SURE DO BOB, LOVE THOSE JEANS,
BY THE WAY.
SHOULD WE RUN?"
"NO WAY, THE DINOS ARE CHILL,
LET'S JUST KEEP WACKING THESE
LEAVES WITH THAT ONE SWORD KNIFE
YOU BROUGHT."
BUT WHILE ALL OF THAT IS PRETTY
TROUBLING, THE TRUTH IS, IN MANY
STATES PARENTS DON'T ULTIMATELY
HAVE TO TEACH THEIR KIDS
ANYTHING AT ALL.
JUST WATCH AS THIS FORMER
HOMESCHOOL STUDENT BREAKS DOWN
HER DAILY SCHEDULE.
>> THIS IS MY ACTUAL LIST OF
ASSIGNMENTS.
WE'VE GOT THE DATE AT THE TOP.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN 12.
FIRST, WE'VE GOT CLASSICAL MUSIC
WHICH WAS JUST TURNING ON
CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE MORNING
SO THAT EVERYONE COULD HEAR IT.
WE'VE GOT BIBLE LISTENING.
WE'VE GOT HANDWRITING AND MATH.
THAT'S FAIRLY NORMAL.
WE'VE GOT MEMORIZING THE BIBLE.
MMM.
WE'VE GOT MEMORIZING POETRY.
THE POETRY WAS MOSTLY HYMNS.
WE'VE GOT EXERCISE.
THAT'S GOOD.
IT WAS USUALLY JUST WALKING
AROUND THE BLOCK.
AND THEN THE WHOLE ENTIRE REST
OF THE LIST IS CHORES AND
CLEANING TASKS.
>> John: IT'S TRUE!
MOST OF HER LESSONS JUST
INVOLVED CHORES.
AND LOOK AT THAT LIST!
THAT IS A LOT OF CLEANING
DEMANDS!
WHO WAS HER PARENT?
THIS GUY?
I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG, HE'S
AN ABSOLUTE ZADDY.
WOULD, WILL, AND I'LL TAKE
SECONDS.
BUT AS HOT AS HE MAKES "DOING
CHORES" SEEM, IT'S NOT AN
ADEQUATE ALTERNATIVE TO
EDUCATION.
ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, EVEN THAT
IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO
THE SINGLE WORST HOMESCHOOL
CURRICULUM WE FOUND, WHOSE
CREATORS EXCITEDLY PROMOTED IT
ON A PODCAST.
>> WE ARE SO DEEPLY INVESTED
INTO MAKING SURE THAT THAT CHILD
BECOMES A WONDERFUL NAZI, AND BY
HOME-SCHOOLING WE'RE GOING TO
GET THAT DONE.
>> John: WELL, THAT'S
TERRIFYING!
YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR A MOTHER
LOVINGLY UTTER THE SENTENCE "MY
KID'S A WONDERFUL NAZI," OUTSIDE
OF MAYBE IF THEY'RE PRAISING
THEIR SON'S PERFORMANCE AS ROLF
IN "THE SOUND OF MUSIC."
AND EVEN THEN, JUST SAY
"WONDERFUL ROLF."
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
THAT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND
ACTUALLY LAUNCHED THEIR OWN
ONLINE COMMUNITY, DISSIDENT
HOMESCHOOL, IN 2021, AFTER SHE
HAD A QUOTE "ROUGH TIME FINDING
NAZI-APPROVED SCHOOL MATERIAL
FOR HER HOMESCHOOL CHILDREN."
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
GOOD!
THAT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE AN
EASY GOOGLE.
IN FACT, IF YOU SEARCH FOR THAT,
IT SHOULD PROBABLY AUTOCORRECT
TO "DID YOU MEAN, HOW DO I TAKE
MYSELF TO JAIL?"
AT ONE POINT, DISSIDENT
HOMESCHOOL HAD NEARLY 2500
SUBSCRIBERS AND INCLUDED IDEAS
LIKE HANDWRITING EXERCISES
CONSISTING OF WRITING OUT QUOTES
FROM ADOLF HITLER.
WHICH I THINK WE CAN AGREE IS
APPALLING.
HANDWRITING EXERCISES?
THAT IS JUST CRUEL.
THEY SHOULD BE WORKING ON THEIR
KEYBOARD SKILLS, THROUGH GAMES
LIKE "MAVIS BEACON TEACHES THE
FINAL SOLUTION."
NOT THAT, DON'T ACTUALLY DO
THAT.
THAT IS AWFUL.
THE CHANNEL ALSO POSTED TIPS
ENSURING THAT THEIR PARENTS WERE
IN "FULL COMPLIANCE WITH THE
LAW" SO THAT "THE STATE"
WOULDN'T INTERFERE.
BUT AS YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN, IN
MOST STATES, THEY DON'T HAVE
MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT THERE,
BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO
HOMESCHOOLING, BASICALLY,
ANYTHING GOES.
SO, HOW THE FUCK IS THAT THE
CASE?
WELL, IN LARGE PART, IT'S THANKS
TO A VERY POWERFUL HOMESCHOOLING
LOBBY, WHOSE MOST PROMINENT
PLAYER IS THE HOME SCHOOL LEGAL
DEFENSE ASSOCIATION, OR HSLDA.
AND HERE IS WHERE I'LL CONCEDE
SOME GROUND, IT GREW OUT OF AN
ENVIRONMENT THAT "WAS," IN MANY
PLACES, OVERLY RESTRICTIVE OF
HOMESCHOOLING, WITH SOME STATES
AND LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICTS
EFFECTIVELY BANNING IT ENTIRELY.
IN TEXAS IN THE EARLY 1980'S,
HOMESCHOOLING FAMILIES WERE
ACTUALLY PROSECUTED.
BUT A TURNING POINT CAME AFTER
SEVERAL TEXAS FAMILIES FILED A
CLASS ACTION SUIT AGAINST THEIR
SCHOOL DISTRICTS, AND ULTIMATELY
WON.
AROUND THE SAME TIME, THE HSLDA
WAS FORMED, WITH THE AIM OF
EXPANDING THE RIGHTS OF
HOMESCHOOLERS IN EVERY STATE.
AND FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,
IT'S HAD A STRONG EVANGELICAL,
CONSERVATIVE OUTLOOK.
ITS FOUNDING PRESIDENT AND
CHAIRMAN, MICHAEL FARRIS, HAS
REFERRED TO PUBLIC SCHOOLS AS A
"GODLESS MONSTROSITY."
AND HERE HE IS BACK IN 2004,
SPEAKING TO THE CHRISTIAN
COALITION, AND DESCRIBING HIS
LONG-TERM HOPES FOR THE NEXT
GENERATION.
>> TODAY, IT IS NOT PREPOSTEROUS
TO RECOGNIZE WHAT'S GOING ON --
THE PROMOTION OF HOMOSEXUALITY,
THE PROMOTION OF OTHER KINDS OF
THINGS THAT YOU HEARD FROM
WALTER JONES, YOU'VE HEARD MANY
OTHER TIMES, IS A DEPLORABLE
REALITY THAT WE CANNOT
COUNTENANCE.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN
OUR YOUNG PEOPLE VANQUISH THE
ENEMY BY A 5-4 VOTE REVERSING
ROE V. WADE.
WHERE WE VANQUISH THE SPECTER OF
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.
THAT'S THE STANDARD OF VICTORY.
>> John: OKAY, THERE'S A LOT
THAT'S HARD TO TAKE IN THAT CLIP
-- THAT THAT'S HIS WISH LIST,
THAT HE'S ALREADY GOTTEN HALF OF
IT, AND THAT HE'S SAYING
"VANQUISH THE ENEMY," DESPITE
LOOKING LESS LIKE A WARRIOR AND
MORE LIKE YOUR TAX ACCOUNTANT'S
TAX ACCOUNTANT'S ASSISTANT.
OVER THE YEARS, THE HSLDA HAS
LOBBIED EXTENSIVELY, FROM A
HARD-RIGHT PERSPECTIVE, ON
ISSUES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO
WITH HOMESCHOOLING, OPPOSING
EVERYTHING FROM VACCINE MANDATES
TO SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.
BUT IT SPEAKS TO HOW SIGNIFICANT
A FORCE IT IS THAT EVEN SOME
PARENTS WHO ARE UNEASY WITH ITS
POLITICAL LEANINGS, FEEL THEY
HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE
MEMBERS.
HERE'S ONE MOM, WHO STARTED A
HOMESCHOOLING GROUP TO OFFER AN
ALTERNATIVE TO WHAT SHE SAW AS A
WHITEWASHED CURRICULUM, TALKING
ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP TO THE
HSLDA.
>> WHENEVER THERE'S A THREAT IN
ANY PARTICULAR STATE TO THEIR
RIGHT TO HOMESCHOOL, OH, YOU
WILL SEE US COME TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, IT MAY NOT -- WE'RE
NOT GOING TO STAY TOGETHER, BUT
WE WILL BAND UP BECAUSE WE ALL
DESPERATELY NEED OUR RIGHT TO
HOMESCHOOL.
AND THAT'S THE NUANCED ASPECT OF
BEING IN HOMESCHOOL WORLD.
THE PEOPLE THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK
WITH IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN WHAT
YOU HOLD DEAR ARE ALSO THE
PEOPLE WHO CRUSH YOU.
>> John: IT'S TRUE.
THE HSLDA HAVE MADE THEMSELVES
SO POWERFUL, MANY PARENTS KEEP
WORKING WITH THEM EVEN IF THEY
DON'T AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THEY
STAND FOR.
IT'S A DILEMMA OTHERWISE KNOWN
AS "THE TOM CRUISE CONUNDRUM."
ON THE ONE HAND, A BILLION
DOLLARS IN THE BOX OFFICE.
ON THE OTHER, A BILLION YEAR
CONTRACT TO AN ALIEN MAFIA.
IT'S TRICKY, RIGHT?
IT'S TRICKY.
WHAT'S A BUNCH OF YOUNG HOTS TO
DO?
PLUS, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, THE
HSLDA -- MUCH LIKE TOM CRUISE --
WILL PROBABLY NEVER DIE.
AS A LOBBYING GROUP, IT'S BEEN
ASTONISHINGLY SUCCESSFUL.
IN FOUR DECADES, ITS EFFORTS
HAVE BEEN CREDITED WITH ROLLING
BACK EXISTING LAWS GOVERNING
HOMESCHOOLING IN STATE AFTER
STATE.
AND THE ARGUMENT IT WILL ALWAYS
MAKE AGAINST ANY REGULATION IS,
"YOU'RE JUST PUNISHING ALL THE
PARENTS DOING THINGS RIGHT, TO
ADDRESS A HANDFUL WHO ARE DOING
IT WRONG."
AND IN THEORY, SURE.
BUT WHEN YOU'VE GOT SOME PARENTS
RUNNING THE HOMESCHOOL INSTITUTE
OF DISHWASHING, AND OTHERS
RUNNING LIL NAZIS 'R' US, IT
SEEMS MAYBE THE REINS HAVE
GOTTEN A LITTLE LOOSE.
AND THE LACK OF REGULATION HERE
HAS SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, AND
NOT JUST REGARDING QUALITY OF
EDUCATION.
AND FAIR WARNING, THIS IS WHERE
THE STORY GETS QUITE A BIT
DARKER.
>> MORE THAN TWO MILLION
CHILDREN ARE BEING HOMESCHOOLED
IN THE U.S.
MANY OF THEM LIVING IN STATES
THAT HAVE LITTLE OR NO
REGULATIONS, MAKING IT EASY FOR
ABUSIVE PARENTS TO HIDE BEHIND
THE SYSTEM.
THESE ARE THE FACES OF JUST SOME
OF THE HOMESCHOOL CHILDREN THAT
HAVE DIED OF ABUSE AND NEGLECT
SUSANNA GRUBBS WAS HOMESCHOOLED
IN MISSOURI.
SHE TELLS US, THE DISCIPLINE SHE
RECEIVED WAS ANYTHING BUT
GENTLE.
>> I THINK THAT, IN A LOT OF
WAYS, ME AND MY SIBLINGS TOTALLY
FELL THROUGH THE CRACKS.
BECAUSE, I MEAN, WITH MY MOM'S
DISCIPLINARY TECHNIQUES, AND MY
MOM'S EDUCATIONAL NEGLECT.
IT'S REALLY TERRIBLE THAT IT --
IT HAS HAPPENED AND IT KEEPS
HAPPENING.
AND NOBODY WANTS TO STOP IT
BECAUSE PARENTAL RIGHTS ARE SO
PARAMOUNT TO ANYTHING ELSE IN
THIS COUNTRY.
>> John: EXACTLY.
AND THAT'S MASSIVELY DANGEROUS.
BECAUSE DEREGULATING
HOMESCHOOLING DOESN'T JUST
ELIMINATE SAFEGUARDS AGAINST
PARENTS WHO ARE BAD TEACHERS, IT
ALSO ELIMINATES THEM AGAINST
PARENTS WHO ARE BAD PEOPLE.
FOR ALL THE HSLDA'S TALK OF
"PARENTAL RIGHTS," IT'S WORTH
REMEMBERING: ELON MUSK IS A
PARENT.
OJ SIMPSON IS A PARENT.
DARTH VADER IS SUCH A PARENT HE
MADE IT PART OF HIS FANCY NAME
CHANGE.
THE POINT IS, HAVING A CHILD
DOES NOT INHERENTLY MAKE YOU
VIRTUOUS.
AND ONE OF THE KEY PROBLEMS HERE
IS, CHILD WELFARE LAWS WERE
WRITTEN BEFORE HOMESCHOOLING WAS
LEGAL IN ALL FIFTY STATES.
SO THEY RELY HEAVILY ON THE
PREMISE THAT A CHILD IS GOING TO
BE IN SCHOOL AND SEEN BY OTHER
ADULTS, AS THIS DA EXPLAINS.
>> A LOT OF CHILD ABUSE GETS
REPORTED THROUGH OUR SCHOOLS.
TEACHERS AND SCHOOL
ADMINISTRATORS ARE MANDATED
REPORTERS.
SO, YOU KNOW, IF A CHILD COMES
TO SCHOOL WITH BRUISES OR
EMACIATED, THAT IS A VERY COMMON
WAY THAT IT GETS REPORTED.
>> John: RIGHT.
BECAUSE THE FACT IS, TEACHERS
SERVE MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS AT
SCHOOL IN ADDITION TO EDUCATION.
THEY WATCH OUT FOR SIGNS OF
ABUSE, THEY CHAPERONE SCHOOL
EVENTS, AND THEY PRETEND NOT TO
KNOW WHY ELLIE WON'T SIT NEXT TO
RACHEL, RACHEL WON'T SIT NEXT TO
KELSEY, KELSEY'S NOT TALKING TO
ETHAN EVEN THOUGH ETHAN'S HAVING
A JOINT BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH
KELSEY'S BROTHER BRYCE, WHO JUST
HAPPENS TO BE RACHEL'S BOYFRIEND
SINCE LAST PERIOD.
AND THEY DO ALL OF THAT WHILE
ALSO TRYING TO TEACH LONG
DIVISION.
TEACHERS ARE SUPERHEROES WHO
SHOULD MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS A
YEAR.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO YOU CAN PROBABLY SEE THE FACT
THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO PULL A KID
OUT OF SCHOOL, WITH NO QUESTIONS
ASKED OR FOLLOWUPS ALLOWED,
COULD EASILY BE EXPLOITED BY
ABUSIVE PARENTS.
ESPECIALLY AS MOST STATES DON'T
EVEN SCREEN HOMESCHOOL PARENTS
FOR RED FLAGS.
48 STATES HAVE NO
BACKGROUND-CHECK PROCESS FOR
PARENTS WHO CHOOSE TO
HOMESCHOOL.
IN FACT, EVEN IF YOU HAVE A
PRIOR CONVICTION OF A CRIME
AGAINST A CHILD, YOU CAN
HOMESCHOOL THEM.
A STUDY DONE IN CONNECTICUT
FOUND THAT OF THE 380 STUDENTS
WITHDRAWN IN SIX DISTRICTS TO BE
HOMESCHOOLED, 138 LIVED IN
FAMILIES THAT WERE THE SUBJECT
OF AT LEAST ONE PRIOR REPORT OF
SUSPECTED ABUSE OR NEGLECT.
AND YET, DESPITE THIS, AT EVERY
TURN, THE HSLDA HAS VIGOROUSLY
FOUGHT EFFORTS TO PUT ANY
GUARDRAILS IN PLACE.
HERE'S THEIR THEN-PRESIDENT, IN
2015, EXPLAINING WHY THEY FIGHT
ALL REGULATIONS, EVEN ONES
EXPLICITLY DESIGNED TO PREVENT
CHILD ABUSE.
>> CHILD ABUSE IS A PARENTAL
ISSUE, ISN'T IT?
ANY CHILD, WHETHER THEY BE A
NON-HOMESCHOOL CHILD -- OR A
PARENT, WHETHER THEY BE A
HOMESCHOOL PARENT, THEY CAN
ABUSE THEIR CHILDREN. THEY HAVE
THE POTENTIAL TO DO IT.
SO, WHY SHOULD WE -- FOR JUST A
FEW -- WHY SHOULD WE FOR JUST A
FEW INVADE ALL OF THE OTHER
INNOCENT PARENTS?
THAT'S PRIOR RESTRAINT.
IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL.
IT'S UN-AMERICAN.
>> ARE THERE -- ARE THERE SOME
CATEGORIES OF REGULATIONS AROUND
HOMESCHOOLING THAT YOU WOULD
SUPPORT THAT YOU DON'T THINK OF
AS AN INVASION OR A TAKEOVER?
>> NO, NOT ANY.
>> John: OKAY, IT'S BAD ENOUGH
HE'S ARGUING FOR A TOTAL LACK OF
REGULATION, BUT THE FACT THAT HE
OPENLY LICKS THE CORNERS OF HIS
MOUTH BEFORE DOING SO SOMEHOW
MAKES IT WORSE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A CAT WENT TO A
ZOLTAR MACHINE AND MADE A WISH
TO BE ANDY GRIFFITH.
THE HSLDA VIEWS ANY OVERSIGHT
WHATSOEVER AS AN ATTACK, EVEN
OFFERING MEMBERS A 24-HOUR
HOTLINE IN CASE OF A VISIT FROM
THE STATE.
IN FACT, HERE'S THE SISTER OF
THAT WOMAN YOU SAW EARLIER,
EXPLAINING HOW THEY'D PRACTICE
WHAT TO DO IF CHILD PROTECTIVE
SERVICES SHOWED UP ON THEIR
DOORSTEP.
>> THE PARENT WOULD LOCK THE
FRONT DOOR, WOULD CALL THE
HOMESCHOOL LEGAL DEFENSE
ASSOCIATION ON THE PHONE, HAND
THE PHONE OUT THE KITCHEN
WINDOW, AND US KIDS WERE
SUPPOSED TO HIDE IN THE
BASEMENT.
WE ACTUALLY DID DRILLS ON THIS
STUFF, FOLKS.
WE DID DRILLS IN CASE SOMEONE
EVER DECIDED TO CHECK IN ON OUR
WELL-BEING.
>> John: HOLY SHIT, THAT'S DARK.
DRILLS ARE MEANT FOR PRACTICING
WHAT TO DO TO AVOID GETTING
HURT, NOT TO AVOID GETTING HELP.
IT'S WHY FIRE ALARMS SAY "PULL
HERE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" AND
NOT "SNITCHES GET STITCHES."
AND THE THING IS, BECAUSE OF ITS
COMMITTED MEMBERSHIP, THE HSLDA
HAS THE POWER TO STOP ANY KIND
OF OVERSIGHT IN ITS TRACKS.
TAKE RAYLEE'S LAW, NAMED AFTER
AN 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL IN
WEST VIRGINIA WHOSE FATHER
PULLED HER OUT OF SCHOOL AFTER
HE WAS REPORTED FOR ABUSE.
SHE DIED OF NEGLECT ONLY A FEW
WEEKS LATER.
EVENTUALLY, LEGISLATORS PROPOSED
A LAW THAT WOULD PREVENT PARENTS
FROM WITHDRAWING A CHILD FROM
SCHOOL WHEN THERE IS A PENDING
CHILD ABUSE OR NEGLECT
INVESTIGATION OR WHEN A PARENT
HAS BEEN CONVICTED OF DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE, CHILD ABUSE OR
NEGLECT.
IT SEEMS LIKE IT'D BE EASY TO
GET PASSED, RIGHT?
BUT AS THE LEGISLATOR WHO
PROPOSED IT FOUND OUT, NOT SO
MUCH.
>> THERE ARE GROUPS I WANT TO
SAY, THERE'S LIKE THIS
HOMESCHOOL DEFENSE FUND GROUP
THAT CAME OUT AGAINST RAYLEE'S
LAW.
>> THE HSLDA?
>> THAT'S IT.
AND THERE WERE QUOTES ABOUT HOW
AWFUL THIS BILL WAS AND IT'S AN
ATTACK ON HOMESCHOOLING AND, YOU
KNOW, THEY WANT TO MOVE THE --
THE GOAL POST.
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IN POLITICS,
BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT MAYBE
PROTECTING CHILDREN, YOU
WOULDN'T ACTUALLY GO ABOUT THAT.
>> John: RIGHT, AND THAT SEEMS
PRETTY REASONABLE.
AND IF THE HSLDA THINKS TRYING
TO PROTECT KIDS FROM BEING TAKEN
OUT OF SCHOOL BY PEOPLE
CONVICTED OF CHILD ABUSE IS AN
"ATTACK ON HOMESCHOOLING"
THEY'RE SAYING QUITE A BIT ABOUT
WHAT THEY BELIEVE HOMESCHOOLING
TO BE.
IF CHILI'S RESPONDED TO A HEALTH
INSPECTOR WRITING THEIR WORKERS
UP FOR PISSING IN THE SKILLET
QUESO WITH "THIS IS AN ATTACK ON
EVERYTHING CHILI'S STANDS FOR,
DON'T PUNISH THE MAJORITY OF OUR
STAFF FOR THE MINORITY WHO PISS
AND SHIT IN OUR PRESIDENTE
MARGARITAS," YOU'D HAVE SOME
QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT CHILLI'S
THINKS IT STANDS FOR.
AND FOR THE RECORD, THAT MAN'S
BILL NEVER PASSED.
AND THAT STORY'S BEEN REPEATED
IN STATE AFTER STATE.
AS ONE LEGISLATIVE AIDE WHO'S
GONE UP AGAINST HSLDA HAS SAID,
"I'VE NEVER SEEN A LOBBY MORE
POWERFUL AND SCARY."
AND A LEGISLATOR IN ARKANSAS WHO
TANGLED WITH THEM SAYS, "THEY
TOLD ME THE ONLY LEGISLATION
THEY WANTED WAS WHAT ALASKA HAD,
WHICH WAS NOTHING."
AT A CERTAIN POINT, IT STAR TO
FEEL LIKE THE HSLDA IS BASICALLY
THE HOMESCHOOLING EQUIVALENT OF
THE NRA -- AN EXTREMELY POWERFUL
ORGANIZATION THAT, WHILE IT
REPRESENTS A LARGE NUMBER OF
PEOPLE, PURSUES AN
OUTERMOST-FRINGE VERSION OF
THEIR AGENDA.
SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
WELL, IN A PERFECT WORLD, WE'D
MAKE SURE THAT HOMESCHOOL KIDS
WERE BOTH SAFE, AND ACTUALLY
RECEIVING A FUNCTIONAL
EDUCATION.
AND THERE ARE SMALLER
ORGANIZATIONS LIKE THIS ONE,
PUSHING FOR THOSE SORTS OF
CHANGES.
BUT AT THE BAREST MINIMUM, WE
COULD REQUIRE, IN ALL 50 STATES,
TO REGISTER A CHILD AS
HOMESCHOOLED, SO THERE'S AT
LEAST A RECORD THAT THEY EXIST.
THAT IS HOW LOW THE BAR IS HERE,
AT THE EARTH'S CORE -- WHICH I'M
SURE, ACCORDING TO AT LEAST ONE
HOMESCHOOLING TEXTBOOK, IS
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SOIL AND THE
FIERY BOWELS OF HELL.
BUT BEYOND THAT, WE COULD PASS
SOME BASIC CHILD SAFETY
PROTECTIONS TO ENSURE PARENTS
CAN'T PULL THEIR KIDS OUT OF
SCHOOL TO ESCAPE SCRUTINY FOR
ABUSE.
A FEW YEARS AGO, TO ITS CREDIT,
GEORGIA PASSED A LAW THAT
REQUIRES PARENTS WHO PULL KIDS
OUT OF SCHOOL FOR NO REASON TO
SEND DOCUMENTATION WITHIN 45
DAYS THAT THEY'RE HOMESCHOOLING
THEIR CHILD, OR PROOF OF
ATTENDANCE AT ANOTHER SCHOOL.
IF THEY DON'T, THEY'RE SUBJECT
TO A FOLLOW-UP FROM THE STATE.
AND EVEN THIS REPUBLICAN GEORGIA
STATE REP ACKNOWLEDGED, IT WAS
NEEDED.
>> IF THE PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD
THAT YOU BELIEVE ARE MOST
PROTECTIVE OF YOU ARE -- ARE
TORTURING YOU OR ABUSING YOU.
WHO'S GOING TO -- WHO'S GOING TO
LOOK OUT FOR YOU?
I MEAN -- I DON'T, YOU KNOW, I
DON'T LIKE GOVERNMENT
INTERVENTION IN A LOT OF THINGS,
BUT I DON'T, YOU KNOW, THE
GOVERNMENT'S THE ONLY PERSON
THAT I KNOW THAT CAN INTERVENE
IN THIS KIND OF CASE TO SAVE A
CHILD.
>> John: YEAH, HE'S RIGHT.
HE'S JUST COMPLETELY RIGHT.
AND AGREEING WITH A STAUNCH
REPUBLICAN GEORGIA STATE REP
WASN'T SOMETHING I HAD ON MY
2023 BINGO CARD.
I'VE ALMOST GOT A FULL BINGO BY
THE WAY, I'M JUST WAITING ON YOU
KNOW WHO TO YOU KNOW WHAT.
AND TO BE CLEAR, I SHARE HIS
AMBIVALENCE ABOUT GOVERNMENT
INTERVENTION HERE.
I UNDERSTAND THAT INVOLVING
SOCIAL SERVICES AND THE
GOVERNMENT IN PEOPLE'S PERSONAL
SITUATIONS POSES A RISK,
ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO AREN'T
WEALTHY AND WHO AREN'T WHITE.
IT'S NOT LIKE I LOVE THE IDEA OF
GIVING THE STATE ROOM TO POKE
AROUND IN PEOPLE'S LIVES, OR
THAT I THINK OUR CHILD
PROTECTIVE SERVICES SYSTEM IS
FLAWLESS, NO NOTES.
WE'RE ALMOST DEFINITELY GOING TO
BE DOING A MAIN STORY ON CPS ONE
DAY.
BUT IT DOES SEEM LIKE GIVING
PARENTS A "GET OUT OF ALL
SCRUTINY FREE, NO QUESTIONS
ASKED" CARD JUST ISN'T THE
ANSWER HERE.
BECAUSE BEING A PARENT DOESN'T
AUTOMATICALLY MAKE SOMEONE
MORAL.
AND BEING WITH A PARENT DOESN'T
AUTOMATICALLY MAKE A CHILD SAFE.
AND THE TRUTH IS, A FEW EXTRA
SECURITY MEASURES WOULD NOT HURT
THE MANY PARENTS WHO HOMESCHOOL
THEIR CHILDREN RESPONSIBLY, BUT
THEY'D DEFINITELY SAFEGUARD
AGAINST THOSE WHO USE "PERSONAL
LIBERTY" AS AN EXCUSE TO NEGLECT
OR HARM THEIR KIDS.
THE HSLDA CAN SAY ALL IT WANTS
THAT IT DOESN'T SUPPORT NAZIS OR
CHILD ABUSERS.
BUT THE FACT IS, THE POLICIES IT
RELENTLESSLY PUSHES ALLOW THEM
TO THRIVE.
AND BASIC REFORMS HERE SHOULDN'T
BE REMOTELY CONTROVERSIAL,
BECAUSE AFTER ALL, THIS IS ABOUT
CHILD WELFARE.
THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.
IT'S NOT EVEN A HOME SHEEP-EYE
DISSECTION -- DON'T GOOGLE IT,
BY THE WAY, I CANNOT EMPHASIZE
THAT ENOUGH.
ALL OF THIS IS JUST BASIC COMMON
SENSE.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> Announcer: AND NOW, THE
SURPRISING IMPORTANCE OF EMOJIS
ON DIVORCE COURT.
>> AM I UNDERSTANDING, BECAUSE I
HAD SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME
BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET IT.
IS A CONVERSATION HAS OCCURRED
THROUGH EMOJI AND GIF IN WHICH
YOU POSTED A WATERFALL WHICH
MEANS YOU ARE IN A STATE OF
SEXUAL EXULTATION.
>> YOUR HONOR, SHE'S A TALENTED
SURFER WHO SENDS MY
HUSBAND EGGPLANT EMOJIS.
PEACH EMOJIS.
>> WERE YOU SENDING WATER
SPLASHING EMOJIS?
TO YOUR EX?
>> YES.
>> DID YOU SEND A HEART KISSING
EMOJI TO YOUR COUSIN?
>> SHE HAS A BIT OF A SENSE OF
HUMOR.
>> THAT AIN'T FUNNY.
>> WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE PHOTO,
DO YOU THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE TO
LEAVE A DROOLING FACE EMOJI, AND
WHY WAS SHE SAVED ON YOUR
PHONE AS A BLUEBERRY?
>> SHE CUTE AND SWEET, SO YOU
SAY IT'S BLUEBERRY?
>> FOUND TEXT TO A GUY WITH A
SMILEY FACE WITH MOUTH WIDE OPEN
AND A PURPLE THING.
>> I MEAN, SMOKING GUN.
THAT'S A SMOKING GUN.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHS]
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
GOOD NIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪