1 00:00:04,904 --> 00:00:27,460 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:31,564 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 3 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:32,932 John: WELCOME, WELCOME, 4 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:33,700 WELCOME TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT!" 5 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,667 I'M JOHN OLIVER. 6 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:35,435 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING 7 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:35,902 US. 8 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,404 IT HAS BEEN A BUSY WEEK. 9 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,339 FROM FOX AGREEING TO PAY NEARLY 10 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,707 $800 MILLION FOR BROADCASTING 11 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,108 LIES, TO THE U.K.'S DEPUTY PRIME 12 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:43,510 MINISTER RESIGNING DUE TO A 13 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:44,978 BULLYING INVESTIGATION. 14 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,146 BUT WE'RE GOING TO START IN THE 15 00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,213 TENNESSEE HOUSE, WHERE 16 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,148 REPUBLICANS RECENTLY VOTED TO 17 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,849 EXPEL TWO DEMOCRATIC LAWMAKERS 18 00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:51,117 FOR VIOLATING HOUSE RULES IN 19 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,052 PROTESTING AGAINST GUN VIOLENCE. 20 00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:56,556 ONE OF THE REPUBLICANS WHO VOTED 21 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,390 TO EXPEL THEM WAS THIS MAN, 22 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,126 SCOTTY CAMPBELL, WHO ABRUPTLY 23 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,361 RESIGNED ON THURSDAY. 24 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:02,061 AND I COULD TELL YOU WHY. 25 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:03,830 BUT I'D RATHER LET YOU WATCH AS 26 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,365 HE SEES HIS POLITICAL CAREER 27 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,667 EVAPORATE BEFORE HIS EYES. 28 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:12,972 AS I UNDERSTAND, YOU ADMITTED 29 00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:13,940 TO SEXUALLY HARASSING THIS 30 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:14,174 INTERN? 31 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,943 GIVE ME JUST FIVE SECONDS. 32 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:17,377 OKAY. 33 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,112 IN FACT, SCOTTY CAMPBELL 34 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:19,779 ALREADY KNEW WE WERE 35 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:20,580 INVESTIGATING SOME SERIOUS 36 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:26,453 ALLEGATIONS. 37 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,020 HOLD ON JUST A SECOND. 38 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:27,754 ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH 39 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,388 AT LEAST ONE LEGISLATIVE INTERN, 40 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:29,823 ALTHOUGH HE WOULD SOON DIVULGE 41 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,090 THERE WAS A SECOND INTERN. 42 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,692 WHICH DIRECTION DO I NEED TO 43 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:33,159 LOOK FOR YOUR CAMERA? 44 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:33,960 JUST LOOK AT ME. 45 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,495 John: WOW. 46 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:36,963 YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN A LOT OF 47 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,264 POLITICIANS GET CAUGHT OUT ON 48 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:38,665 THIS SHOW. 49 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,167 SOME GET ANGRY, SOME RUN AWAY. 50 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,769 BUT IN TEN SEASONS, I HAVE NEVER 51 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,903 SEEN SOMEONE SO THOROUGHLY 52 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:46,406 FUCKED THEIR ONLY RESPONSE IS 53 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,807 "GIVE ME FIVE SECONDS TO CHUG 54 00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:49,275 THIS," FOLLOWED BY "OKAY, WHERE 55 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,010 SHOULD I LOOK WHILE MY CAREER 56 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:51,311 ENDS?" 57 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,180 KUDOS TO EVERYONE INVOLVED. 58 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,081 SO IT TURNS OUT, A HOUSE ETHICS 59 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,282 SUBCOMMITTEE FOUND LAST MONTH 60 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,317 THAT CAMPBELL HAD VIOLATED THE 61 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,117 POLICY ON WORKPLACE 62 00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,486 DISCRIMINATION AND HARASSMENT. 63 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,587 THERE ARE ALLEGATIONS THAT HE'D 64 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:04,824 SEXUALLY HARASSED AT LEAST ONE 65 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:05,425 INTERN, REPORTEDLY 66 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:06,159 MAKING HER "PROGRESSIVELY MORE 67 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:06,693 AFRAID AND UNCOMFORTABLE," 68 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:07,894 THROUGH ACTIONS LIKE, AT ONE 69 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,962 POINT, OFFERING TO GIVE HER 70 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:09,996 CANNABIS GUMMIES TO SEE HER 71 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,498 TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS. 72 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,132 THE SUBCOMMITTEE ISSUED THEIR 73 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,702 FINDINGS LAST MONTH, BUT NOTHING 74 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,003 HAPPENED UNTIL REPORTERS STARTED 75 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:17,570 ASKING QUESTIONS. 76 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:19,072 AND WHILE CAMPBELL DENIES THE 77 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,340 ALLEGATIONS, IT'S NOT GREAT THAT 78 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,174 HE ALSO DOESN'T SEEM TO 79 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:22,075 COMPREHEND SOME PRETTY BASIC 80 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,409 THINGS. 81 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,811 SO ARE YOU SAYING THE ETHICS 82 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,312 SUBCOMMITTEE IS LYING? 83 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,680 I'M SAYING THAT I DID NOT 84 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,017 KNOW THAT A WORKPLACE POLICY 85 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,886 COULD BE ENFORCED WHEN YOU'RE 86 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,320 NOT AT WORK. 87 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,188 John: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 88 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:40,293 ABOUT? 89 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:40,660 SCOTTY. 90 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,461 I'M NOT SURE THAT SAYING, 91 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,028 "WHATEVER I DID, I WASN'T AT 92 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:42,495 WORK WHEN I DID IT!" 93 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,663 IS QUITE THE IRONCLAD DEFENSE HE 94 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:43,997 THINKS IT IS. 95 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:44,631 IF YOUR OFFICE HAD A SIGN IN THE 96 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,933 KITCHEN THAT SAID "PLEASE DO NOT 97 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:47,634 FUCK THE KEURIG MACHINE," AND 98 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,902 YOU RESPONDED BY TAKING IT 99 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,570 OUTSIDE THE BUILDING AND FUCKING 100 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:51,738 IT THERE, I THINK YOU'RE STILL 101 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,373 PROBABLY GETTING INTO TROUBLE. 102 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,675 AND LOOK, I COULD TALK ALL NIGHT 103 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:56,576 ABOUT THIS STORY, BUT FOR NOW, 104 00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,211 LET'S TURN TO BEER. 105 00:02:58,211 --> 00:02:59,512 DRINKABLE BREAD THAT MAKES 106 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,813 TALKING LESS SCARY. 107 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,949 SPECIFICALLY, BUD LIGHT. 108 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,817 THE BEER YOU'D GIVE A CHILD TO 109 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,519 DRINK TO TEACH IT A LESSON. 110 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,288 A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUD LIGHT 111 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,589 PARTNERED WITH INFLUENCER 112 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,990 DYLAN MULVANEY FOR THE SORT OF 113 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,058 INSTAGRAM PROMOTION YOU SEE ALL 114 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,226 THE TIME. 115 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,260 CHECK OUT MY INSTAGRAM STORY 116 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,563 TO SEE HOW YOU CAN ENJOY MARCH 117 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,932 MADNESS WITH BUD LIGHT AND MAYBE 118 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,166 WIN SOME MONEY, TOO! 119 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,200 John: OKAY. 120 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,969 SEEMS BASICALLY AS INOFFENSIVE 121 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:23,970 AS AN AD CAN BE WHEN IT'S 122 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,572 PROMOTING BUD LIGHT, A BEER THAT 123 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:26,673 ASKS THE QUESTION "ARE WE 124 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:27,440 ALLOWED TO CALL CAT'S URINE 125 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,608 BEER? 126 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:29,709 BECAUSE IF NOT, THIS FACTORY 127 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,511 TOUR IS OVER." 128 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,946 BUT PEOPLE ON THE RIGHT 129 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,814 ABSOLUTELY LOST THEIR SHIT OVER 130 00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:35,615 THIS, BECAUSE BUD LIGHT 131 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,417 PARTNERED WITH A TRANS WOMAN. 132 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,485 THERE'VE BEEN CALLS FOR 133 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:42,021 BOYCOTTS, AND THIS INCREDIBLY 134 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,089 STUPID VIDEO FROM KID ROCK. 135 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:44,624 LET ME SAY SOMETHING TO ALL 136 00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:46,693 YOU AND BE AS CLEAR AND CONCISE 137 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:53,399 AS POSSIBLE. 138 00:03:53,399 --> 00:04:00,840 [GUNFIRE] 139 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,743 FUCK BUD LIGHT. 140 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,844 AND FUCK ANHEUSER-BUSCH. 141 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,212 HAVE A TERRIFIC DAY. 142 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,947 John: OKAY, A FEW THINGS. 143 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,082 FIRST, I DON'T THINK THERE'S A 144 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,183 MORE DANGEROUS WAY TO DISPOSE OF 145 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,384 BUD LIGHT, OTHER THAN OF COURSE 146 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,620 DRINKING IT. 147 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,622 AND SECOND, NOT TO GUN-SHAME 148 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:16,923 CHILD ROCK HERE, BUT YOU'RE 20 149 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:20,326 YARDS AWAY FROM A TARGET THAT'S 150 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:20,927 BRIGHT, IDENTIFIABLE AND, 151 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,061 CRUCIALLY, STATIONARY, AND 152 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:22,996 YOU'RE SPRAYING BULLETS ALL OVER 153 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,030 THE PLACE. 154 00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,231 PERHAPS THAT'S WHY IT SURE SEEMS 155 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:27,100 LIKE HE MAY HAVE HAD HELP. 156 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,935 BECAUSE IF YOU WATCH IT SLOWED 157 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,203 DOWN, YOU'LL NOTICE THE THREE 158 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,305 BLASTS THAT ACTUALLY DESTROY THE 159 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,239 CASES APPEAR TO BE COMING FROM 160 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:34,841 THE RIGHT. 161 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,910 AND THE THING IS, IT'S NOT JUST 162 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,579 52-YEAR-OLDS NAMED "KID" DOING 163 00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:40,413 THIS, THERE'VE BEEN MULTIPLE 164 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,382 VIDEOS OF PEOPLE DESTROYING CANS 165 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,683 OF BUD LIGHT, AND OTHER 166 00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:44,817 ANHEUSER-BUSCH BRANDS. 167 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:45,618 BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING 168 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,719 THAT HURTS A COMPANY, IT'S 169 00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,787 DESTROYING THEIR PRODUCT AFTER 170 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,756 IT'S ALREADY BEEN PURCHASED. 171 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,424 AND LOOK, THIS IS ALL VERY 172 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,525 STUPID, BUT THERE'S SOME REAL 173 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,661 NASTINESS UNDER ALL THIS. 174 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,095 IT'S PART OF A GENERAL MORAL 175 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,563 PANIC AROUND TRANS RIGHTS, 176 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,731 ARRIVING AT THE SAME TIME AS A 177 00:04:58,731 --> 00:04:59,799 RASH OF BILLS BANNING 178 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,867 GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE FOR KIDS 179 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:01,801 AND-- IN SOME STATES-- ADULTS 180 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,169 AS WELL. 181 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,570 AND MADDENINGLY, 182 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:05,672 ANHEUSER-BUSCH'S RESPONSE TO 183 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,140 THAT UGLINESS HAS BEEN TO 184 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,975 EQUIVOCATE IN THE FACE OF IT. 185 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,877 ITS CEO PUT OUT A STATEMENT 186 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:11,944 SAYING, "WE NEVER INTENDED TO BE 187 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:12,679 PART OF A DISCUSSION THAT 188 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:13,846 DIVIDES PEOPLE. 189 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,415 WE ARE IN THE BUSINESS OF 190 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,716 BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER OVER A 191 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,017 BEER." 192 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,519 WHICH, SURE, ALTHOUGH AGAIN, NOT 193 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,520 TECHNICALLY "BEER" SO MUCH AS IT 194 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,121 IS "FIZZY WATER SWISHED AROUND A 195 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:24,557 DOG'S MOUTH." 196 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,292 AND IT'S PRETTY ANNOYING TO BE 197 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,760 "BOTH-SIDES"ING SOMETHING WHEN 198 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:28,728 THE TWO SIDES ARE, "I AM TRANS" 199 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,730 AND "THAT MAKES ME SO MAD I'M 200 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:31,564 GOING TO SHOOT $65 WORTH OF 201 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:35,268 NON-REFUNDABLE BEER." 202 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,103 AND BUDWEISER JUST RELEASED THIS 203 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,237 EQUALLY EMPTY NEW AD. 204 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:41,140 LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT 205 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:44,377 A BEER, ROOTED IN THE HEART OF 206 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,947 AMERICA. 207 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:50,383 FOUND IN A COMMUNITY WHERE A 208 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:53,419 HANDSHAKE IS A SURE CONTRACT. 209 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:56,456 RAISED BY GENERATIONS WILLING TO 210 00:05:56,456 --> 00:06:05,164 SIP, SHARE, RISK, REMEMBER. 211 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:05,732 THIS IS A STORY BIGGER THAN 212 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:11,571 BEER. 213 00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,272 THIS IS THE STORY OF THE 214 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:18,444 AMERICAN SPIRIT. 215 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,679 John: OKAY. 216 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,013 THERE'S BOTH NOTHING AND A LOT 217 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,082 GOING ON THERE. 218 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,550 THEY'RE CLEARLY SO AFRAID OF 219 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,352 OFFENDING ANYONE, THEY PUT OUT 220 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,386 AN AD ESSENTIALLY SAYING, 221 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,021 "AMERICA SOMETHING SOMETHING," 222 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,490 AND MADE A POINT OF STOPPING 223 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,958 DOWN, FOR SOME REASON, AT A SHOT 224 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,059 OF THE NEW YORK CITY SKYLINE SO 225 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,627 THEY COULD SAY, "REMEMBER." 226 00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:35,695 IS THAT A 9/11 REFERENCE, 227 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,663 BUDWEISER? 228 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,031 BECAUSE SHOTS OF A HORSE RUNNING 229 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,032 THROUGH THE PLAINS AND "REMEMBER 230 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,034 9/11" FEEL LESS LIKE AN AD AND 231 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:44,303 MORE LIKE THE RESULTS OF FEEDING 232 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:44,804 AN AI PROGRAM THE PROMPT 233 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:48,274 "AMERICA FREEDOM I'M SORRY." 234 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,076 THIS FEELS LIKE A HUGE MISFIRE 235 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,210 FOR ANHEUSER-BUSCH. 236 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,645 BECAUSE WHEN BIGOTS ARE LOUDLY 237 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:53,980 ANNOUNCING THEY DON'T LIKE YOUR 238 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,883 BEER, BECAUSE THEY ARE BIGOTS, 239 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,251 THAT IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAY, 240 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,719 "THEN OUR BEER IS NOT FOR YOU." 241 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,220 BUT IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO COZY 242 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,989 UP TO THEM WITH PLATITUDES, 243 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,724 STOCK FOOTAGE AND, FRANKLY, 244 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,125 DISTRACTINGLY FUCKABLE HORSES-- 245 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,928 WHY NOT AT LEAST REALLY GO FOR 246 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,965 IT? 247 00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:15,501 LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT 248 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:16,369 A BEER. 249 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,604 ONE THAT BELIEVES IN SIMPLE 250 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,741 VALUES LIKE FLAG, HELLO, AND 251 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:22,842 TROOPS. 252 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,910 A BEER THAT ADMITTEDLY DOES 253 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,413 TASTE LIKE THE DASH YOU MAKE 254 00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:28,347 AFTER YOU DRINK BETTER OF YOUR 255 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,183 APPEAR TO BUT IT'S MORE THAN 256 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,450 THAT, IT'S ABOUT HORSES AND 257 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,519 LIVING YOUR LIFE HOWEVER YOU 258 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:34,887 CHOOSE. 259 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,522 UNLESS OF COURSE THAT FREEDOM 260 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:37,924 ALIENATES OUR BASE OF FRAT 261 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:39,258 GROSS. 262 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:39,659 ON-DUTY COPS. 263 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:42,161 AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE DADS. 264 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,963 HONESTLY, WE ARE RUNNING SCARED 265 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,698 BECAUSE KID ROCK TOLD HIS 266 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:46,766 FOLLOWERS OUR BEER WAS WOKE 267 00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:48,334 INSTEAD OF WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS, 268 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,002 WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU RING OUT A 269 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,171 BAR RAG AT THE END OF A SHIFT AT 270 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:52,705 ANY BAR. 271 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:53,372 TO THAT END. 272 00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:56,409 WE ARE HOPING TO MAKE AN AD THAT 273 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:56,976 WOULDN'T OFFEND ANYBODY. 274 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,411 SO WHAT'S OUR BEER ABOUT? 275 00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:58,845 OUR BEERS ABOUT THE 276 00:07:58,845 --> 00:07:59,679 GRAND CANYON. 277 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:00,713 TRAINS. 278 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:01,314 AND DOGS BEING REUNITED WITH 279 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,617 SOLDIERS. 280 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:10,323 IT'S ABOUT FIREWORKS, ONE KID 281 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,657 PUSHING ANOTHER KID IN A WAGON. 282 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,258 SHARKS, AMERICAN-MADE SHARKS. 283 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:12,892 SHARKS WHO GO TO CHURCH. 284 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,360 IT'S ABOUT HOT DOGS. 285 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,928 LANDING ON THE MOON. 286 00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,064 REMEMBERING 9/11. 287 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:20,199 AND THE CIVIL WAR. 288 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:24,070 WHICHEVER SIDE YOU LIKE, IT IS. 289 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,572 THE BOTTOM LINE IS, PLEASE, 290 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:27,573 BUY OUR AWFUL BEER. 291 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,241 TO DRINK, TO SHOOT, WE DON'T 292 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,776 CARE. 293 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:31,577 WE NEVER CREATED IT TO BE 294 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:31,811 ENJOYED. 295 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:32,812 JUST PURCHASED. 296 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,248 BUD LIGHT. 297 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:38,217 John: MOVING ON. 298 00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:38,818 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 299 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:39,485 OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS 300 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,620 CRYPTOCURRENCY. 301 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,787 THE ONLY WORD THAT MAKES ELON 302 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,824 MUSK NUT IMMEDIATELY. 303 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:45,424 WE FIRST COVERED CRYPTO FIVE 304 00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:50,029 YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS TEN YEARS 305 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:50,663 YOUNGER, AND SINCE THEN, A LOT'S 306 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,330 HAPPENED, INCLUDING, 307 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:51,998 UNFORTUNATELY, THIS VIDEO FROM 308 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:52,932 JUST LAST YEAR PROMOTING THE 309 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:53,599 GENERAL CONCEPT OF TRADING 310 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:57,069 CRYPTO. 311 00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:00,239 ♪ HELLO, IT'S ME ♪ 312 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:03,075 ♪ WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT 313 00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:10,082 EXCHANGING CRYPTOCURRENCY ♪ 314 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,352 ♪ WE'LL GO OVER EVERYTHING ♪ 315 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,620 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT COINS FROM 316 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,856 DIFFERENT BLOCKCHAINS ♪ 317 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,792 ♪ AND WANNA DO SOME TRADING ♪ 318 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:20,860 John: I MEAN, A LOT TO 319 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,228 DISLIKE ABOUT THAT. 320 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,296 FROM HER CHOOSING TO PARODY A 321 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,530 SONG BY ONE OF OUR GREATEST 322 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,232 SINGERS WHILE HAVING A VOICE I 323 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,667 CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS "A NO CHAIR 324 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,036 TURN," TO WEARING THOSE EARRINGS 325 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,537 WHICH SCREAM, "I DO MY BEST 326 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,239 SHOPPING AT AIRPORTS," TO THE 327 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,040 FACT HER NAME IS RANDI 328 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,007 ZUCKERBERG, AND YES, SHE IS 329 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,144 MARK'S SISTER. 330 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,879 MEANING THAT, INCREDIBLY, SHE'S 331 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:43,716 "THE COOL ONE" IN THAT FAMILY. 332 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,617 AND THAT WASN'T EVEN THE ONLY 333 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:44,917 SONG SHE DID. 334 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,551 SHE ALSO DID THIS ONE ABOUT HOW 335 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,218 EVERYTHING WITH CRYPTO WAS GONNA 336 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:47,320 GO GREAT. 337 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,656 ♪ WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT ♪ 338 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,524 ♪ YEAH, WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE 339 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,259 IT ♪ 340 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,562 ♪ WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT ♪ 341 00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:59,065 ♪ EVERYONE ♪ 342 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,066 John: YUP! 343 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:00,900 "WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT IN 344 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,867 CRYPTO!" 345 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,302 IS A PHRASE THAT'S AGED ABOUT AS 346 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,270 WELL AS "WELCOME ABOARD THE 347 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,406 UNSINKABLE TITANIC!" 348 00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:08,641 THOSE VIDEOS CAME OUT WHEN 349 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,509 CRYPTO FEVER WAS STILL NEAR ITS 350 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,477 ABSOLUTE PEAK. 351 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:12,645 STADIUMS WERE GETTING NAMED 352 00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,513 AFTER CRYPTO COMPANIES, 353 00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:16,315 MATT DAMON AND LEBRON JAMES DID 354 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:17,316 COMMERCIALS FOR Crypto.com AND 355 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,885 CELEBRITIES FROM LARRY DAVID TO 356 00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:21,587 TOM & GISELE PRE-DIVORCE BUT 357 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:22,688 POST-LOVE, HYPED A CRYPTO 358 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:35,901 EXCHANGE CALLED 359 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:36,502 RUN BY A SUPPOSED 29-YEAR-OLD 360 00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,103 GENIUS SAM BANKMAN-FRIED, AKA 361 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:37,303 "SBF." 362 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:37,937 HE WAS ON THE COVER OF 363 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:38,504 FORBES AND FORTUNE, WITH ONE 364 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:39,171 CALLING HIM "THE NEXT WARREN 365 00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:39,972 BUFFET," AND OTHERS CALLING HIM 366 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:40,439 "JPEG MORGAN." 367 00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,073 AND SEQUOIA CAPITAL, ONE OF THE 368 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:41,907 BIGGEST VENTURE CAPITAL FIRMS, 369 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:42,875 HAD A $213 MILLION INVESTMENT IN 370 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,043 THE COMPANY. 371 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:44,977 BUT SINCE THEN, TO PUT IT 372 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,379 MILDLY, THERE HAS BEEN AN 373 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,014 IMPLOSION, WHICH REALLY BROKE 374 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,015 THROUGH TO PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS 375 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,816 JUST BEFORE LAST CHRISTMAS. 376 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:51,984 IN A SPAN OF 24 HOURS, 377 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,252 SAM BANKMAN FRIED WAS WHISKED BY 378 00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:58,591 FEDERAL AGENTS IN THE BAHAMAS TO 379 00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,258 NEW YORK CITY WHERE HE FACED A 380 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,593 JUDGE AND WALKED OUT OF A 381 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,561 FEDERAL COURTHOUSE AFTER POSTING 382 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,997 BAIL ON A $250 MILLION BOND, 383 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,966 WHICH PROSECUTORS BELIEVE IS ONE 384 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,035 OF THE LARGEST IN U.S. HISTORY. 385 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,236 John: RIGHT, SBF WAS ARRESTED 386 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,338 FOR DEFRAUDING HIS CUSTOMERS OUT 387 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,139 OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, AND TO 388 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,007 BE HONEST, IT SEEMS LIKE THE 389 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,008 COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST MAY HAVE 390 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,009 BEEN ONE OF THEM, BECAUSE THIS 391 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,310 IS ONE OF THE RUDEST 392 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,047 ILLUSTRATIONS I'VE EVER SEEN. 393 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:21,914 THE WHOLE "INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN 394 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,149 GUILTY" THING CLEARLY DOESN'T 395 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,250 APPLY TO THE SIDE OF THE LAW 396 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,652 WITH THE COLORING PENCILS. 397 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,721 SBF'S ARREST WAS A BIG DEAL. 398 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,822 AND AS HIS COMPANY IMPLODED, 399 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,757 SOME, LIKE CNBC'S JIM CRAMER, 400 00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,793 WERE FURIOUS. 401 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,828 THAT GUY IS A CLUELESS IDIOT. 402 00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:36,529 HE'S A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. 403 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,797 HE'S A CON MAN. 404 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:38,831 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NEARLY FOUR 405 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:40,433 YEARS OF GETTING AWAY WITH 406 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,535 FINANCIAL MURDER JUST BECAUSE 407 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:42,835 THEY COULD. 408 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,003 John: WOW, THOSE ARE SOME 409 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:44,904 HARSH WORDS THERE FROM THE 410 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:45,971 SQUAWKING PARROT ON EVERY 411 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,973 PIRATE'S SHOULDER. 412 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,009 ESPECIALLY AS, JUST A YEAR 413 00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:52,244 EARLIER, CRAMER WAS SAYING THIS. 414 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:56,615 TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO 415 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:57,116 EDUCATE OURSELVES WITH 416 00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:57,650 SAM BANKMAN-FRIED. 417 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,818 WELL, SAM, I GOT TO TELL YOU, 418 00:11:58,818 --> 00:11:59,385 BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY 419 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,052 MUCH A VISIONARY. 420 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,353 John: YEAH, NOT GREAT, BUT 421 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:02,555 ALSO NOT SURPRISING. 422 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,823 AFTER ALL, THIS IS THE SAME GUY 423 00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,424 THAT PROCLAIMED THAT "BEAR 424 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:08,327 STEARNS IS FINE" LITERAL DAYS 425 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:08,928 BEFORE IT FOLDED, TOLD HIS 426 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,162 VIEWERS TO BUY NETFLIX RIGHT 427 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:11,897 BEFORE IT LOST ALMOST 70% IN 428 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,965 FIVE MONTHS, AND ONCE-- AND 429 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:14,133 THIS IS TRUE-- SAID THAT 430 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,034 GOOGLE, FACEBOOK AND TWITTER 431 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,335 SHOULD HIRE KEVIN SPACEY AS A 432 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,236 SPOKESPERSON. 433 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,406 JIM CRAMER IS THE ONLY PERSON 434 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,006 WHO COULD LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, 435 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:21,707 SAY "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE 436 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:23,242 TOMORROW," AND GIVE YOU AN 437 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,610 IMMEDIATE SENSE OF CALM, KNOWING 438 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,911 YOU'RE GONNA LIVE FOR ANOTHER 439 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,347 50 YEARS. 440 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:29,448 BUT FTX HAS BEEN JUST ONE OF THE 441 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,783 MANY DOMINOS THAT FELL IN THE 442 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,151 CRYPTO WORLD. 443 00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,519 OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS, THE 444 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,620 MARKET VALUE OF ALL 445 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,823 CRYPTOCURRENCIES FELL FROM ABOUT 446 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,458 $3 TRILLION IN LATE 2021 TO 447 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:40,926 AROUND $1 TRILLION LAST YEAR. 448 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,528 AND THERE ARE SMALL INVESTORS 449 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,730 WHO GOT BADLY HURT BY ALL THIS. 450 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,967 1 IN 5 AMERICANS HAS INVESTED 451 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:48,667 IN, TRADED, OR USED 452 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:49,301 CRYPTOCURRENCY. 453 00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,436 AND YOU CAN FIND COUNTLESS 454 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:54,039 STORIES OF PEOPLE LOSING THEIR 455 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,141 LIFE'S SAVINGS IN THE 456 00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:55,708 RECENT IMPLOSIONS. 457 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,308 UNDERSCORING THAT EVERYONE IN 458 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:58,377 CRYPTO WAS NEVER GOING TO 459 00:12:58,377 --> 00:12:59,845 "MAKE IT," NO MATTER HOW MUCH 460 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:00,713 RANDI ZUCKERBERG SCREAM-SANG 461 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,348 OTHERWISE. 462 00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,616 SO TONIGHT, WE THOUGHT WE'D TAKE 463 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,750 A LOOK AT WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING 464 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,085 IN THE WORLD OF CRYPTO BY 465 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:08,587 LOOKING AT THREE OF THE BIGGEST 466 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:09,622 COLLAPSES OVER THE PAST YEAR. 467 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,689 EACH OF THESE COMPANIES WAS 468 00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,224 FOUNDED ON THE PROMISE THEY'D 469 00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,659 REPLACE SOME PART OF OUR 470 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:14,793 FINANCIAL SYSTEM. 471 00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:16,428 THERE'S TERRA, A CRYPTOCURRENCY. 472 00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:19,064 CELSIUS, A CRYPTO "BANK." 473 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,599 AND FTX, A CRYPTO TRADING 474 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:21,267 PLATFORM. 475 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,669 IN THEORY, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO 476 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,236 BE OUR NEXT DOLLAR, OUR NEXT 477 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:25,504 BANK OF AMERICA, AND OUR NEXT 478 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:27,573 STOCK EXCHANGE. 479 00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:28,073 BUT IN REALITY, THEY'RE 480 00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:29,508 FIASCOES. 481 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:30,910 AND BEFORE WE EVEN START, WE'RE 482 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,745 NOT GOING TO BE DISCUSSING THE 483 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:33,445 MERITS OR THE TECHNOLOGY OF THE 484 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:34,947 BLOCKCHAIN. 485 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:35,881 WE DID THAT FIVE YEARS AGO, IT'S 486 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,316 STILL ON THE INTERNET, YOU CAN 487 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:37,917 GO WATCH IT THERE. 488 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:38,951 OR NOT. 489 00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,519 NOT WATCHING THIS SHOW IS ALWAYS 490 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,054 A STRONG OPTION FOR YOU. 491 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,156 BUT JUST AS A REMINDER, EVERY 492 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,758 SINGLE CRYPTO COIN IS JUST 493 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,092 SOMETHING SOMEONE WITH A LAPTOP 494 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:48,394 MADE UP. 495 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,329 THAT'S TRUE FOR ALL OF THEM, 496 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,965 LIKE DOGECOIN, CAT COIN, PANDA 497 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,500 COIN, FURRY COIN, CUMROCKET, 498 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,036 ELONSPERM, AND MONKEYJIZZ. 499 00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,538 THOSE ARE ALL REAL BY THE WAY. 500 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:00,673 WE WERE GOING TO COME UP WITH A 501 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,241 FAKE ONE AS A JOKE, BUT THEN WE 502 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:02,908 SAW MONKEYJIZZ AND IT FELT LIKE 503 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,611 A HAT ON A HAT. 504 00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,846 TO THE EXTENT ANY OF THESE COINS 505 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:12,051 HAVE VALUE, IT'S BASED ON 506 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:12,651 WHETHER PEOPLE BELIEVE THEY 507 00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:13,252 DO, WHICH OFTEN COMES DOWN TO 508 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,687 THEIR CONFIDENCE IN THE PERSON 509 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,521 OR GROUP WHO MADE THE COIN. 510 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,156 AND THAT BASIC FACT MAKES THE 511 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,592 CRYPTO BUSINESS VERY ATTRACTIVE 512 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,493 TO A CERTAIN TYPE OF PERSON. 513 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,762 ONE COLUMNIST WHO'S COVERED THIS 514 00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:24,930 INTENSIVELY SUMMED IT UP LIKE 515 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,966 THIS: IF YOU ARE RUNNING A SCAM, 516 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,400 YOU WILL BE DRAWN TO CRYPTO. 517 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,569 YOU ARE RUNNING A CONFIDENCE 518 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:33,072 GAME, AND CRYPTO OFFERS THE MOST 519 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:35,774 EFFICIENT MARKET FOR TURNING 520 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:36,242 CONFIDENCE INTO MONEY. 521 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:36,942 AND THE STORY FOR ALL THREE 522 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:37,743 COMPANIES WE'RE GOING TO LOOK AT 523 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,445 TONIGHT IS ONE OF CONFIDENCE 524 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,212 GAINED, AND THEN SQUANDERED. 525 00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,348 LET'S START WITH TERRA, WHICH 526 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,717 WAS A CRYPTOCURRENCY LAUNCHED IN 527 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,751 2018 BY A BRASH SOUTH KOREAN 528 00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,686 ENTREPRENEUR NAMED DO KWON. 529 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,088 PEOPLE HAD FAITH IN TERRA, IN 530 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:49,955 PART, BECAUSE KWON EXUDED 531 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:51,991 CONFIDENCE. 532 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:52,791 HERE HE IS ON TWITCH, RESPONDING 533 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,960 TO A QUESTION ABOUT THE 534 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:55,561 VOLATILITY OF COMPANIES IN HIS 535 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,129 SPACE. 536 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,298 I WONDER HOW MANY OF THESE 537 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,432 COMPANIES YOU THINK ARE ENTERING 538 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:01,300 THIS SPACE JUST BECAUSE IT'S HOT 539 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,035 AND THERE'S A LOT OF FUNDING 540 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,270 VERSUS THE ONES THAT WILL STILL 541 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,038 BE HERE, YOU KNOW, ABOUT 2-5 542 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,675 YEARS LATER? 543 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,342 OH, 95% OF ARE GOING TO DIE. 544 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:13,512 95% ARE GOING TO DIE. 545 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,114 BUT THERE'S ALSO ENTERTAINMENT 546 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,815 IN WATCHING COMPANIES DIE TOO. 547 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,384 John: I MEAN, THAT'S PRETTY 548 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:19,952 COCKY, BUT I GUESS HE'S RIGHT. 549 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,086 THERE CAN BE ENTERTAINMENT IN 550 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,788 WATCHING A COMPANY DIE. 551 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:23,656 INCIDENTALLY, I BELIEVE THAT'S 552 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,157 THE NEW SLOGAN FOR MAX. 553 00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:27,293 HEY, DO YOU LIKE HBO, BUT WANT 554 00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,294 ADS, THE PROPERTY BROTHERS, AND 555 00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,194 ALSO DON'T LIKE HBO? 556 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:30,362 MAX! 557 00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:31,163 THERE'S ENTERTAINMENT IN 558 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,532 WATCHING A COMPANY DIE! 559 00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,334 KWON'S COMPANY MADE SOMETHING 560 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,702 CALLED A "STABLECOIN," THE IDEA 561 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,837 OF WHICH IS-- UNLIKE SOMETHING 562 00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:39,471 LIKE BITCOIN-- IT WOULD ALWAYS 563 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:43,709 BE WORTH A STABLE AMOUNT. 564 00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:44,476 SO, ONE UNIT OF TERRA-- OR 565 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,078 "UST"-- WOULD ALWAYS EQUAL ONE 566 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,646 U.S. DOLLAR. 567 00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:48,781 AND THE WAY THEY GUARANTEED THIS 568 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,016 WAS TRULY ABSURD. 569 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,084 BECAUSE RATHER THAN SIMPLY 570 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,553 COLLECTING A DOLLAR FOR EVERY 571 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:55,187 UNIT OF TERRA IT ISSUED-- WHICH 572 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:56,855 WOULD MAKE SENSE-- IT INSTEAD 573 00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,223 TIED ITS VALUE TO A DIFFERENT 574 00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,458 COIN, LUNA, WHICH IT HAD ALSO 575 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:06,899 MADE UP. 576 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:07,499 AND IT SAID IT WOULD TURN LUNA 577 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:08,500 INTO TERRA AND TERRA INTO LUNA, 578 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,101 WITH A SPECIAL ALGORITHM. 579 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:10,703 AND IF THAT SOUNDS BOTH 580 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:11,303 COMPLICATED AND STUPID TO YOU, 581 00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:11,637 IT IS. 582 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,671 HERE'S HOW THE COMPANY EXPLAINED 583 00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:14,340 IT-- AND JUST KNOW, YOU DON'T 584 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:14,907 NEED TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING 585 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:15,507 THAT'S HAPPENING HERE, BECAUSE 586 00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,009 IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 587 00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:18,277 LET'S IMAGINE THE ENTIRE 588 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,546 TERRA ECONOMY AS A POOL. 589 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:21,647 THE SIZE OF THE POOL IS 590 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,349 DETERMINED BY THE TOTAL SUPPLY 591 00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,584 OF UST. 592 00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,953 IF MORE PEOPLE WANT UST, THE 593 00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:29,088 TIDE RISES, AND IF LESS PEOPLE 594 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,690 WANT UST, THE TIDE FALLS. 595 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,025 TO BRING BACK THE WATER LEVEL TO 596 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,893 $1, WE CAN EXPAND THE POOL BY 597 00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:37,329 INTRODUCING A NEW SUPPLY OF UST. 598 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,998 BUT WHERE DOES NEW UST COME 599 00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:42,101 FROM? 600 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,403 AT TERRA, WE'VE DESIGNED A 601 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,604 MACHINE THAT SWAPS $1 WORTH OF 602 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,740 LUNA TO ONE UST. 603 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,640 John: OKAY, IMAGINE IF 604 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,442 SOMEONE CAME UP TO YOU WHILE YOU 605 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:51,577 WERE AT THE ATM AND SAID, "GIVE 606 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,011 ME THAT MONEY, AND INSTEAD, I'LL 607 00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:53,612 GIVE YOU BLORPS. 608 00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:56,048 ONE BLORP IS ALWAYS WORTH ONE 609 00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:56,949 DOLLAR, AND THE REASON I CAN 610 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,250 GUARANTEE THAT IS, I'LL SELL AS 611 00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,451 MANY FLEEZLES AS IT TAKES TO 612 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:00,753 MAKE THAT HAPPEN. 613 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,521 ALSO, I MAKE THE FLEEZLES." 614 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,523 YOU'D PROBABLY SAY NO WOULDN'T 615 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:05,290 YOU IMMEDIATELY? 616 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,992 BUT IF THEY THEN SAID "I DO IT 617 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,394 WITH A SPECIAL ALGORITHM," 618 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:08,994 SUDDENLY, YOU MIGHT THINK THEY 619 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,929 KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T. 620 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:11,764 WELL, THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT 621 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:12,998 HAPPENED HERE. 622 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:15,100 AND TO BE FAIR, SOME PEOPLE DID 623 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,335 SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS. 624 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:17,736 IN 2018, AN ANALYST LOOKED AT 625 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,071 TERRA'S BUSINESS MODEL AND SAID, 626 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,472 "THIS IS CRAZY. 627 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:25,210 THIS OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WORK." 628 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,578 AND KWON WOULD SHAME ANYONE WHO 629 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:27,579 DARED QUESTION HIS MODEL. 630 00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,349 AFTER A FINANCIAL WRITER RAISED 631 00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:30,883 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE 632 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,585 VULNERABILITIES OF CRYPTO, KWON 633 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:35,187 TWEETED, "I DON'T DEBATE THE 634 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:35,587 POOR ON TWITTER." 635 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:36,221 AND FOR A WHILE, HIS CONFIDENCE 636 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:36,922 WORKED. 637 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:37,923 AT ITS HEIGHT, LUNA'S TOTAL 638 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,425 VALUE BALLOONED TO MORE THAN $40 639 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,926 BILLION DOLLARS. 640 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:41,994 THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS ENTERED 641 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,595 A PARTNERSHIP WITH THEM, KWON'S 642 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,197 FOLLOWERS CALLED THEMSELVES 643 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,666 LUNATICS, AND ONE OF HIS BACKERS 644 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,334 EVEN GOT A LUNA-THEMED TATTOO. 645 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,170 AND THAT'S A BOLD MOVE FROM 646 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,405 CRYPTO MOBY THERE. 647 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,441 I'D SAY IT'S THE WORST TATTOO 648 00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:57,509 I'VE EVER SEEN, BUT I HAVE SEEN 649 00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:58,844 THIS TATTOO OF R. KELLY WITH THE 650 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,179 WORDS, "I DON'T SEE NOTHING 651 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,182 WRONG," AND THAT'S AROUND FIVE 652 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,917 PERCENT WORSE. 653 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,552 BUT WE NOW KNOW, ACCORDING TO 654 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,687 THE SEC, THE ALGORITHM DIDN'T 655 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:11,323 WORK AS THEY'D CLAIMED. 656 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:11,957 IN FACT, AT ONE POINT IN 2021, 657 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:13,425 TERRA NEARLY COLLAPSED. 658 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,327 AND WHILE KWON TOLD PEOPLE THE 659 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:16,862 CRISIS HAD BEEN AVERTED THANKS 660 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,497 TO HIS ALGORITHM, SAYING IT WAS 661 00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,432 "AUTOMATICALLY SELF-HEALING." 662 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,099 IT TURNS OUT, IT WAS ONLY SAVED 663 00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:22,801 BY THE DELIBERATE INTERVENTION 664 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:24,169 OF A THIRD PARTY, WHICH WAS 665 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,804 QUIETLY PURCHASING LARGE 666 00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:27,773 QUANTITIES OF TERRA TO RESTORE 667 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,274 ITS VALUE. 668 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,243 BUT LAST MAY, A FEW BIG TRADES 669 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,011 DESTABILIZED THE PRICE OF TERRA, 670 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:35,013 PROMPTING A PANIC IN WHICH BOTH 671 00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:36,648 TERRA AND LUNA HOLDERS STARTED 672 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:37,349 SELLING EN MASSE. 673 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,751 AND SINCE THEY WEREN'T BACKED BY 674 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:41,119 ANYTHING BUT GOOD VIBES, BOTH 675 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,554 COINS' VALUE WERE TRADING AT 676 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:44,323 ESSENTIALLY ZERO, AND THE 677 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,391 IMPLOSION ERASED TENS OF 678 00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:47,960 BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF VALUE. 679 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,894 AS FOR KWON, HE NOW FACES 680 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,629 CHARGES IN MULTIPLE COUNTRIES. 681 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,364 AND HE ACTUALLY WENT ON THE RUN 682 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,298 FOR A BIT, BUT BEFORE HE WAS 683 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,301 CAUGHT, MANAGED TO FIND 684 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,504 SOME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ON A 685 00:18:58,504 --> 00:18:59,004 CRYPTO PODCAST. 686 00:18:59,004 --> 00:18:59,638 HERE HE IS, MID-THOUGHT, GETTING 687 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:00,305 SURPRISED BY AN UNEXPECTED 688 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,041 GUEST. 689 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,643 YOU'RE, LIKE, YOU HAVEN'T 690 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,579 SLEPT IN A WHILE AND LIKE, YOU 691 00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:10,482 FEEL ALMOST-- HOLY SHIT, IS 692 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,783 THAT MARTIN SHKRELI? 693 00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:12,518 HEY, DO, I JUST WANTED TO LET 694 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,653 YOU KNOW, JAIL'S NOT THAT BAD. 695 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,188 IT'S-- IT SUCKS, BUT IT'S-- 696 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,090 IT'S NOT THE WORST THING EVER. 697 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,625 YOU KNOW, SO DON'T-- DON'T 698 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:20,993 FRET, IF THAT-- I HOPE IT 699 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:21,960 DOE-- DOESN'T HAPPEN. 700 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,161 BUT IF IT DOES HAPPEN, IT'S-- 701 00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:24,396 IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 702 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:25,597 GOOD TO KNOW. 703 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,399 John: WOW. 704 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,034 I DON'T THINK THERE'S EVER BEEN 705 00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,102 A MORE CURSED ZOOM CALL. 706 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,371 AND I'M INCLUDING THAT CELEBRITY 707 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,306 "IMAGINE" VIDEO. 708 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,474 AND, QUICK SIDENOTE, IF YOU'RE 709 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,109 WONDERING IF JIM CRAMER EVER SAW 710 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,111 MARTIN SHKRELI'S SCANDAL COMING, 711 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:43,949 YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT SHKRELI 712 00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:44,483 ACTUALLY GOT HIS START AT 713 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:44,983 JIM CRAMER'S HEDGEFUND. 714 00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:45,617 SO, ANOTHER ACE IN THE HOLE FOR 715 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:46,952 THE CRAME-GAME. 716 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:47,753 BUT IT'S NOT JUST 717 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,321 CRYPTOCURRENCIES THAT CAN BE 718 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:49,655 BUILT ON SAND. 719 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:50,289 THE SAME CAN HAPPEN WITH CRYPTO 720 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:50,622 "BANKS." 721 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:51,323 WHICH ARE ALREADY A BIT OF A 722 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,926 MISNOMER. 723 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,494 BECAUSE UNLIKE TRADITIONAL 724 00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,728 BANKS, THEY'RE NOT REGULATED OR, 725 00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:57,563 INDEED, INSURED. 726 00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:58,864 BUT THEY'RE FIRMS THAT'LL HOLD 727 00:19:58,864 --> 00:19:59,965 YOUR CRYPTO, PAY YOU INTEREST, 728 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,266 AND LEND IT OUT. 729 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,201 AND THAT BRINGS US TO OUR SECOND 730 00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,137 COMPANY: CELSIUS, ONE OF THE 731 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,872 BIGGEST CRYPTO BANKS, FOUNDED BY 732 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,540 THIS GUY, ALEX MASHINSKY. 733 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,108 NOW HIS WHOLE SALES PITCH, AS 734 00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:11,843 YOU CAN SEE FROM HIS COOL 735 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:12,744 T-SHIRT, WAS "BANKS ARE NOT YOUR 736 00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:13,946 FRIENDS." 737 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,314 WHICH IS CLEARLY TRUE. 738 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:18,317 BUT HE REALLY DOUBLED DOWN, IN 739 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,451 ADS LIKE THIS. 740 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,986 BANKS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. 741 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:21,853 WE ALL KNOW THAT. 742 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,555 AND WE DECIDED TO CREATE A 743 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:24,890 REPLACEMENT FOR THE BANKING 744 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:25,924 SYSTEM, RIGHT? 745 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:26,558 SOMETHING THAT ACTS IN YOUR BEST 746 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,526 INTEREST. 747 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,628 A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY 748 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:30,329 HAVE YOUR MONEY WORK FOR YOU. 749 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,430 NOT JUST YOU WORK FOR YOUR 750 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,331 MONEY. 751 00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:33,031 AND BASICALLY, THREE YEARS SINCE 752 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,100 WE LAUNCHED THE PRODUCT, WE'VE 753 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:35,701 PAID A BILLION DOLLARS BACK TO 754 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,235 THE COMMUNITY. 755 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:38,236 John: NOW, DESPITE THE FACT 756 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,471 HE SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE 757 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,973 TOMMY WISEAU IN "THE ROOM," 758 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,541 MASHINSKY BUILT ONE OF THE 759 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,909 BIGGEST CRYPTO LENDERS WITH MORE 760 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,545 THAN $12 BILLION IN DEPOSITS. 761 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:47,913 AND ONE OF THE WAYS HE DID THIS 762 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,414 WAS BY PROMISING CUSTOMERS WOULD 763 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,451 GET UP TO 18% INTEREST RATES ON 764 00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:53,352 THEIR DEPOSITS, VERSUS THE 765 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,887 AVERAGE OF .06% THEN BEING 766 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:58,590 OFFERED BY TRADITIONAL BANKS. 767 00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:59,458 AND HE LIKED TO SAY THAT BANKS 768 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,993 COULD ACTUALLY PAY THOSE SORTS 769 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,028 OF RATES IF THEY WANTED TO, 770 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,796 ADDING, "SOMEBODY IS LYING. 771 00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,131 EITHER THE BANK IS LYING OR 772 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,165 CELSIUS IS LYING." 773 00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:08,600 AND HEY, PORQUE NO LOS DOS? 774 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,636 TWO THINGS CAN BE TRUE! 775 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:15,641 LIKE HOW FRANKIE MUNIZ CAN BE 776 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:16,608 BOTH 37-YEARS-OLD AND 12 AT THE 777 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,209 SAME TIME, OR HOW THE ROCK CAN 778 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:17,776 BE ONE OF THE HIGHEST PAID 779 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:18,844 ACTORS IN HOLLYWOOD DESPITE 780 00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,445 NEVER ACTUALLY ACTING. 781 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,214 MASHINSKY WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO 782 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,749 BUILD TRUST AMONG CUSTOMERS, 783 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,917 HOLDING WEEKLY LIVESTREAM AMAS, 784 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,252 SOMETIMES FEATURING DUMB STUNTS, 785 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:30,789 LIKE WHEN HE STARTED ONE WEARING 786 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:31,657 A MANDOLORIAN MASK. 787 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:32,290 AND ON THESE CALLS, HE'D BRAG 788 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:32,991 ABOUT ALL THE GREAT THINGS HIS 789 00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,559 COMPANY WAS DOING FOR PEOPLE, 790 00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:35,627 WHILE OCCASIONALLY ENGAGING IN 791 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,830 THE WORST ATTEMPT AT A DAB I'VE 792 00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,198 EVER SEEN. 793 00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:41,967 THE BEAUTY OF WHAT CELSIUS 794 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,235 MANAGED TO DO IS THAT WE DELIVER 795 00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:45,103 YIELD, WE PAY IT TO THE PEOPLE 796 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:46,738 WHO WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DO IT 797 00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:53,478 THEMSELVES, WE TAKE IT FROM THE 798 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,046 RICH, AND WE BEAT THE INDEX. 799 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,547 THAT'S LIKE GOING TO THE 800 00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:56,181 OLYMPICS AND GETTING 15 MEDALS 801 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:56,748 IN 15 DIFFERENT FIELDS. 802 00:21:56,748 --> 00:22:02,054 OKAY? 803 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:02,688 John: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? 804 00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:03,588 A HEADS-UP DAB? 805 00:22:03,588 --> 00:22:04,489 AND TO BE HONEST, WHY A DAB AT 806 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:07,659 ALL? 807 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:08,960 IT'S NOT 2015 AND YOU'RE NOT A 808 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:09,361 GUEST ON "ELLEN." 809 00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:11,263 ALSO, YOU'RE 57 YEARS OLD! 810 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,164 THAT DEMONSTRATES A LACK OF 811 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,432 JUDGMENT FRANKLY TERRIFYING IN 812 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:14,032 SOMEONE SUPPOSEDLY RUNNING A 813 00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:19,905 FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. 814 00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:20,539 AND YET, MASHINSKY INSISTED "WE 815 00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:21,139 ARE PROBABLY ONE OF THE LEAST 816 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:22,674 RISKY BUSINESSES THAT REGULATORS 817 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:23,775 WORLDWIDE HAVE EVER SEEN." 818 00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:27,012 WHICH WAS FLAGRANTLY UNTRUE. 819 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:27,979 A COURT-APPOINTED EXAMINER LATER 820 00:22:27,979 --> 00:22:29,781 FOUND HE WAS MAKING INCREDIBLY 821 00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:31,516 RISKY LOANS, AND WAS ALSO USING 822 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,618 CUSTOMERS' MONEY TO PAY THE HIGH 823 00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:34,886 YIELDS THAT HE'D PROMISED. 824 00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:35,721 WHICH SURE SOUNDS LIKE THE 825 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,089 TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF A PONZI 826 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:39,291 SCHEME. 827 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:40,292 EVENTUALLY, CELSIUS STARTED 828 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,327 MINTING ITS OWN COIN TO INFLATE 829 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:43,428 ITS BALANCE SHEET-- A COIN ITS 830 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:44,896 OWN EMPLOYEES SAID WAS 831 00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:47,265 "WORTHLESS" AND THAT ITS PRICE 832 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:48,567 "SHOULD BE ZERO." 833 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,168 ONE EVEN SAID THAT THE WHOLE 834 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:51,470 THING WAS "VERY PONZI LIKE," AND 835 00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:52,771 AT ONE POINT, THE COMPANY'S 836 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:53,972 FORMER FINANCE CHIEF SAID, "WE 837 00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,173 ARE DOING SOMETHING POSSIBLY 838 00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:56,708 ILLEGAL AND DEFINITELY NOT 839 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,311 COMPLIANT." 840 00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:00,445 AND WHAT AN OFFICE THAT MUST'VE 841 00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:01,346 BEEN TO WORK IN. 842 00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:03,281 FINDING YOURSELF WANDERING OVER 843 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:04,049 TO SHERYL'S DESK LIKE, "HEY 844 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:04,983 GIRL, GREAT TOP! 845 00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:07,886 QUICK Q, ARE WE LIKE DOING 846 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,188 CRIMES? 847 00:23:10,188 --> 00:23:11,723 CAUSE I'M GETTING LIKE MAJOR 848 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,225 CRIME VIBES IN HERE. 849 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:13,792 ALSO, HAVE YOU SEEN OUR BOSS 850 00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:20,599 DAB? 851 00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:21,433 IT'S VERY WEIRD!" 852 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:22,000 AND WHEN CELSIUS INEVITABLY 853 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:22,968 COLLAPSED, PEOPLE GOT HURT. 854 00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:26,938 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE, IN THE FINE 855 00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:27,539 PRINT, THE COMPANY'S TERMS OF 856 00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:28,940 USE STATED THAT CUSTOMERS 857 00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:29,474 TRANSFERRED ALL "RIGHTS OF 858 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:30,408 OWNERSHIP" IN THEIR CRYPTO 859 00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:32,511 ASSETS BY DEPOSITING THEM IN A 860 00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:32,878 CELSIUS ACCOUNT. 861 00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:34,880 MEANING THAT WHEN PEOPLE TRIED 862 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:35,480 TO WITHDRAW THEIR MONEY, THEY 863 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,882 FOUND OUT IT LEGALLY WASN'T 864 00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:38,183 THEIRS ANYMORE. 865 00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:39,518 AND WHILE CELSIUS AND MASHINSKY 866 00:23:39,518 --> 00:23:40,619 HAVE NOT BEEN CRIMINALLY 867 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,487 CHARGED, TENS OF THOUSANDS OF 868 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:43,355 CUSTOMERS STILL HAVE DIGITAL 869 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:44,956 ASSETS TRAPPED ON THE PLATFORM. 870 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:47,058 AND CELSIUS HAS REPORTED THAT IT 871 00:23:47,058 --> 00:23:49,895 OWES THEM $4.7 BILLION DOLLARS. 872 00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:51,329 ALL OF WHICH IS ENOUGH TO MAKE 873 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,931 YOU THINK THAT, WHILE "BANKS ARE 874 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,266 NOT YOUR FRIENDS," THIS GUY MAY 875 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,935 ACTUALLY BE YOUR ENEMY. 876 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,503 SO, SO WE'VE GOT BULLSHIT MONEY, 877 00:23:58,503 --> 00:23:59,604 AND A BULLSHIT BANK. 878 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:00,939 WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO 879 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:03,108 SAM BANKMAN FRIED AND FTX. 880 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,442 IT WAS BASICALLY A WHOLE 881 00:24:04,442 --> 00:24:05,744 BULLSHIT TRADING PLATFORM. 882 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:08,046 THE PITCH WAS THAT FTX WAS AN 883 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,481 EXCHANGE WHERE YOU COULD BUY AND 884 00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,716 SELL CRYPTOCURRENCIES JUST LIKE 885 00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:12,984 STOCKS, AND ITS EASE WAS 886 00:24:12,984 --> 00:24:14,019 EMPHASIZED IN ADS-- LIKE THIS 887 00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:15,287 ONE WITH STEPH CURRY-- THAT 888 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,555 PLAY, IN HINDSIGHT, LIKE A BIT 889 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:18,256 OF A RED FLAG. 890 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:19,558 THIS IS STEPH CURRY. 891 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:21,193 THE WORLD'S LEADING EXPERT ON 892 00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:22,627 CRYPTOCURRENCIES. 893 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:23,562 I'M NOT. 894 00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:25,363 OKAY, QUICK MESSING AROUND, 895 00:24:25,363 --> 00:24:26,531 MAN, GIVE ME SOME TIPS ON 896 00:24:26,531 --> 00:24:26,765 CRYPTO. 897 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:27,799 NO. 898 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:28,466 BUT YOU ARE AN EXPERT, RIGHT? 899 00:24:28,466 --> 00:24:31,670 NO. 900 00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:32,270 I'M NOT AN EXPERT AND I DON'T 901 00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:35,707 NEED TO BE, WITH FTX APP, 902 00:24:35,707 --> 00:24:38,777 I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED TO BUY, 903 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:39,511 SELL, AND TRADE CRYPTO SAFELY. 904 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:40,145 John: YEAH, "YOU DON'T EVEN 905 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:40,779 HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT, JUST USE 906 00:24:40,779 --> 00:24:40,946 IT." 907 00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:41,880 THEIR PITCH FOR A MAJOR MONEY 908 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:42,781 APP WAS BASICALLY THE SAME AS 909 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:44,449 THE ATTITUDE WE ALL HAVE TOWARDS 910 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:45,350 SEMI-COLONS. 911 00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:46,952 YOU'RE NEVER 100% USING ONE OF 912 00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:48,987 THOSE. 913 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:49,988 IT'S A REAL "GO WITH GOD" 914 00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,723 PUNCTUATION. 915 00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:52,691 ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, IT KIND OF 916 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:53,992 MAKES SENSE THEY'D GET 917 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,994 STEPH CURRY FOR THAT CONSIDERING 918 00:24:55,994 --> 00:24:57,095 HE'S ALREADY A SPOKESPERSON FOR 919 00:24:57,095 --> 00:24:58,129 SUBWAY, A RESTAURANT WHOSE 920 00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:00,098 SLOGAN IS OFFICIALLY "EAT FRESH" 921 00:25:00,098 --> 00:25:00,732 BUT SPIRITUALLY "TRUST US, IT'S 922 00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:03,702 TUNA." 923 00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:05,103 AND, AGAIN, FOR A WHILE, THAT 924 00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:06,638 PITCH WORKED PRETTY WELL. 925 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:08,473 FTX HELD A CONFERENCE IN THE 926 00:25:08,473 --> 00:25:09,941 BAHAMAS LESS THAN A YEAR AGO 927 00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:11,109 THAT INCLUDED A PANEL WITH 928 00:25:11,109 --> 00:25:12,911 TONY BLAIR AND BILL CLINTON, AND 929 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:14,379 APPEARANCES BY ORLANDO BLOOM, 930 00:25:14,379 --> 00:25:15,714 AND KATY PERRY. 931 00:25:15,714 --> 00:25:17,949 TOM BRADY WAS EVEN THERE, TOO, 932 00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:19,718 MAKING VIDEOS LIKE THIS. 933 00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:20,685 WHAT'S UP, GUYS? 934 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:21,286 I'M HERE WITH MY BOY SAM FROM 935 00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:23,255 FTX. 936 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:23,755 WE'RE AT CRYPTO BAHAMAS 937 00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,223 CONFERENCE, WE'RE GOING TO START 938 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,825 THE DAY, WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME 939 00:25:26,825 --> 00:25:28,526 TIKTOKS FOR YOU GUYS, AND IT'S 940 00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:29,961 GONNA BE AN AMAZING DAY, WE'RE 941 00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:32,163 GONNA GET STARTED, WE'LL DO A 942 00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:35,300 GET READY WITH ME-- SAM, WHERE 943 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:36,001 ARE YOU GOING, BRO? 944 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,969 John: LOOK, SAM, SAM, FROM 945 00:25:37,969 --> 00:25:39,938 ONE OHIO SIX TO ANOTHER: NEVER 946 00:25:39,938 --> 00:25:41,940 STAND THAT CLOSE TO TOM BRADY. 947 00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,341 IT IS DOING YOU NO FAVORS. 948 00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:44,676 THERE'S A REASON I'VE NEVER BEEN 949 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:45,744 PHOTOGRAPHED WITH 950 00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:46,444 CHRIS HEMSWORTH, NO MATTER HOW 951 00:25:46,444 --> 00:25:48,980 MUCH HE BEGS FOR IT. 952 00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:51,216 NOW, THE JOKE THERE WAS THAT SAM 953 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:52,651 WAS A SHY, SELF-EFFACING GENIUS. 954 00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:54,519 AND THAT'S THE GENERAL VIBE HE 955 00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:56,521 WENT FOR. 956 00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:57,122 IT'S WHY HE DRESSED LIKE EVERY 957 00:25:57,122 --> 00:25:58,290 DAY WAS LAUNDRY DAY AND COMBED 958 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,191 HIS HAIR WITH A BALLOON. 959 00:26:00,191 --> 00:26:02,460 OBVIOUSLY, WE NOW KNOW THAT 960 00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,162 THINGS CAME CRASHING DOWN, BUT 961 00:26:04,162 --> 00:26:04,729 EVEN AFTER THEY DID, SBF WAS 962 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:06,298 STILL DEFENSIVE ABOUT WHAT HE 963 00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:06,564 HAD BUILT. 964 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:08,400 A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU 965 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:08,867 AND SEE BERNIE MADOFF. 966 00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,936 YEAH. 967 00:26:10,936 --> 00:26:15,140 I MEAN, I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHO 968 00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,474 I AM AT-- AT ALL, BUT I 969 00:26:16,474 --> 00:26:17,909 UNDERSTAND WHY THEY'RE SAYING 970 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:18,910 THAT. 971 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:19,311 PEOPLE LOST MONEY. 972 00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:21,079 WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE CLASSIC 973 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:21,913 BERNIE MADOFF STORY, THERE WAS 974 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,683 NO REAL BUSINESS THERE. 975 00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:26,952 THE WHOLE THING, AS I UNDERSTAND 976 00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:27,886 IT, I THINK, WAS-- WAS JUST 977 00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:29,955 ONE-- ONE BIG PONZI SCHEME, 978 00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:31,089 RIGHT? 979 00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:34,559 FTX, THAT WAS A REAL BUSINESS. 980 00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:35,527 John: YEAH, BUT WAS IT 981 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:36,761 THOUGH? 982 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:38,496 BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE 983 00:26:38,496 --> 00:26:40,665 WANTS TO ADMIT THEIR BUSINESS 984 00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:42,500 WAS A SCAM, IT'S THE SAME REASON 985 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:43,134 NO PARENT WANTS TO ADMIT THEIR 986 00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:43,635 CHILD SUCKS. 987 00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:44,703 SAYING IT OUT LOUD MAKES IT 988 00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:46,071 REAL. 989 00:26:46,071 --> 00:26:47,539 BUT THE TRUTH IS SOME KIDS DO. 990 00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:49,174 SOME KIDS ARE JUST, TO PUT IT 991 00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:52,077 NICELY, "NOT A FUN HANG." 992 00:26:52,077 --> 00:26:53,211 YOU STILL LOVE THEM, OF COURSE, 993 00:26:53,211 --> 00:26:54,579 BUT DO YOU LIKE THEM? 994 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:56,648 EXACTLY. 995 00:26:56,648 --> 00:26:57,983 BUT IT'S WORTH UNDERSTANDING 996 00:26:57,983 --> 00:26:59,584 JUST WHAT SBF'S "REAL BUSINESS" 997 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:00,852 CONSISTED OF. 998 00:27:00,852 --> 00:27:02,020 BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT THAT, IN 999 00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,388 ADDITION TO FTX, HE HAD A HEDGE 1000 00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:05,090 FUND CALLED ALAMEDA, AND ALSO 1001 00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:07,192 PRODUCED HIS OWN COIN, BECAUSE 1002 00:27:07,192 --> 00:27:09,494 OF COURSE HE DID, CALLED FTT. 1003 00:27:09,494 --> 00:27:11,563 AND VERY BASICALLY, ACCORDING TO 1004 00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:12,998 AUTHORITIES, WHAT HE DID WAS 1005 00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:14,299 FILLED UP HIS HEDGE FUND'S BOOKS 1006 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:16,034 WITH THE COIN THAT HE PRODUCED, 1007 00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:17,502 USING HIS EXCHANGE TO INFLATE 1008 00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:18,536 THAT COIN'S PRICE. 1009 00:27:18,536 --> 00:27:19,971 AND ONCE HIS HEDGE FUND HAD A 1010 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,206 GIANT STASH OF HIS OWN COIN, IT 1011 00:27:21,206 --> 00:27:22,941 USED THAT AS COLLATERAL TO TAKE 1012 00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:24,109 OUT SEVERAL LOANS. 1013 00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:26,211 ESSENTIALLY, THE FEDS SAY HE 1014 00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:27,712 CREATED FAKE MONEY, INFLATED ITS 1015 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:29,381 PRICE, AND THEN BORROWED REAL 1016 00:27:29,381 --> 00:27:30,782 MONEY AGAINST THAT. 1017 00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:31,850 BUT WAIT, I'M NOT DONE. 1018 00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:33,151 BECAUSE HE WAS ALSO TAKING MONEY 1019 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:34,853 FROM ACTUAL FTX CUSTOMERS-- THE 1020 00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:36,221 ONES, REMEMBER, WHO WERE PUTTING 1021 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,257 MONEY IN FTX BECAUSE STEPH CURRY 1022 00:27:39,257 --> 00:27:40,025 TOLD THEM IT WAS SAFE-- AND 1023 00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:41,826 THEN LOANING IT BACK TO HIS 1024 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:43,094 HEDGE FUND. 1025 00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,396 THE WHOLE THING WAS HONESTLY 1026 00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:45,430 PRETTY BLATANT. 1027 00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:46,965 AFTER EVERYTHING COLLAPSED, A 1028 00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:48,566 NEW CEO CAME IN TO HANDLE THE 1029 00:27:48,566 --> 00:27:49,367 BANKRUPTCY, AND AS HE TOLD 1030 00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:51,102 CONGRESS, HE WAS SHOCKED AT HOW 1031 00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:52,904 SLOPPY AND POORLY RUN EVERYTHING 1032 00:27:52,904 --> 00:27:54,873 WAS. 1033 00:27:54,873 --> 00:27:55,940 THIS IS REALLY OLD-FASHIONED 1034 00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:57,709 EMBEZZLEMENT. 1035 00:27:57,709 --> 00:27:59,310 THIS IS JUST TAKING MONEY FROM 1036 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:01,780 CUSTOMERS AND USING IT FOR YOUR 1037 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:04,049 OWN PURPOSE. 1038 00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,351 NOT SOPHISTICATED AT ALL. 1039 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,685 LITERALLY, YOU KNOW, THERE'S 1040 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:08,987 NO RECORD KEEPING WHATSOEVER. 1041 00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:10,688 THEY USED QUICKBOOKS, A 1042 00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:11,389 MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY 1043 00:28:11,389 --> 00:28:12,123 USING QUICKBOOKS. 1044 00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:13,091 QUICKBOOKS? 1045 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:14,692 QUICKBOOKS. 1046 00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:15,527 John: IT'S TRUE, THEY USED 1047 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,895 QUICKBOOKS. 1048 00:28:16,895 --> 00:28:18,096 AND LOOK, I'M NO ACCOUNTANT. 1049 00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:19,397 I MEAN, I SHOULD BE. 1050 00:28:19,397 --> 00:28:20,498 I LOOK LIKE MY MOST FORMATIVE 1051 00:28:20,498 --> 00:28:22,067 CHILDHOOD MEMORIES WERE IN AN 1052 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:22,967 H&R BLOCK. 1053 00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:24,169 I LOOK LIKE I FELL INTO A VAT OF 1054 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:26,104 RADIOACTIVE ITEMIZED RECEIPTS. 1055 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,006 I LOOK LIKE WHAT APPEARS IF YOU 1056 00:28:28,006 --> 00:28:28,907 SAY "MICROSOFT EXCEL" INTO THE 1057 00:28:28,907 --> 00:28:30,208 MIRROR THREE TIMES. 1058 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:30,708 BUT I'M ACTUALLY NOT AN 1059 00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:31,709 ACCOUNTANT. 1060 00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:33,445 AND YET, EVEN I KNOW THAT USING 1061 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,913 "QUICKBOOKS" FOR A COMPANY OF 1062 00:28:34,913 --> 00:28:36,548 THAT SIZE IS ABSURD. 1063 00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:37,949 THAT MAN ALSO REVEALED THAT FTX 1064 00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:39,451 LET THOUSANDS OF UNCASHED 1065 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:41,152 DEPOSIT CHECKS SIT AROUND LIKE 1066 00:28:41,152 --> 00:28:42,554 "JUNK MAIL" AND APPROVED 1067 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,956 MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF EXPENSE 1068 00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:46,724 REPORTS VIA EMOJI ON SLACK. 1069 00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:48,726 AND I'M DYING TO KNOW WHICH 1070 00:28:48,726 --> 00:28:49,694 EMOJI THEY USED. 1071 00:28:49,694 --> 00:28:51,296 BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW, EMOJIS ON 1072 00:28:51,296 --> 00:28:52,630 SLACK HAVE VERY SPECIFIC 1073 00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:53,798 MEANINGS. 1074 00:28:53,798 --> 00:28:54,833 FOR INSTANCE THUMBS UP MEANS 1075 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:55,733 "I'M DONE WITH THIS 1076 00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:56,935 CONVERSATION." 1077 00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:58,503 THIS MEANS "I'M TOO LAZY TO TYPE 1078 00:28:58,503 --> 00:28:59,938 THANK YOU." 1079 00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:00,705 THIS MEANS "I'M DYING INSIDE, 1080 00:29:00,705 --> 00:29:02,407 DON'T TALK TO ME." 1081 00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:03,741 THIS MEANS "FEELING CHEEKY, 1082 00:29:03,741 --> 00:29:04,442 LET'S GOSS." 1083 00:29:04,442 --> 00:29:05,944 AND THIS ONE MEANS "LOOK AT ME, 1084 00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:08,646 I'MMA ITALIAN." 1085 00:29:08,646 --> 00:29:10,181 BUT I'VE YET TO DISCOVER WHICH 1086 00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:10,915 EMOJI MEANS "GO AHEAD. 1087 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,150 SPEND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF 1088 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:13,585 COMPANY FUNDS." 1089 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:14,452 BUT IF I HAD TO GUESS, I'D SAY 1090 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:16,521 IT'S PROBABLY MONEY BARF. 1091 00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:18,356 BUT IT'S NO WONDER THAT NEW CEO 1092 00:29:18,356 --> 00:29:20,859 HAS SAID, "NEVER IN MY CAREER 1093 00:29:20,859 --> 00:29:21,426 HAVE I SEEN SUCH A COMPLETE 1094 00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:23,128 FAILURE OF CORPORATE CONTROLS 1095 00:29:23,128 --> 00:29:24,896 AND SUCH A COMPLETE ABSENCE OF 1096 00:29:24,896 --> 00:29:26,397 TRUSTWORTHY FINANCIAL 1097 00:29:26,397 --> 00:29:28,199 INFORMATION AS OCCURRED HERE." 1098 00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,568 WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING, GIVEN 1099 00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:32,370 HIS CAREER INCLUDES "OVERSEEING 1100 00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,606 THE BANKRUPTCY OF ENRON." 1101 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,141 AND IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER HOW 1102 00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:37,442 BAD ENRON WAS, GOOGLE IT, I 1103 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:40,078 CAN'T DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU. 1104 00:29:40,078 --> 00:29:40,645 SUFFICE IT TO SAY, IT'S VERY 1105 00:29:40,645 --> 00:29:42,780 BAD. 1106 00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:44,048 THE THROUGHLINE IN ALL THREE 1107 00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:45,083 COMPANIES I'VE TALKED ABOUT 1108 00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:46,417 TONIGHT IS THEM CONFIDENTLY 1109 00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:47,952 PRESENTING A VENEER OF 1110 00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:49,187 EXPERTISE, EVEN AS, BENEATH THE 1111 00:29:49,187 --> 00:29:49,787 SURFACE, THEY WERE A COMPLETE 1112 00:29:49,787 --> 00:29:51,990 SHIT SHOW. 1113 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:53,124 AND IT KIND OF SAYS SOMETHING 1114 00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:54,292 THAT, EVEN AS THEY IMPLODED, ALL 1115 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,194 THREE OF THE MEN BEHIND THEM 1116 00:29:56,194 --> 00:29:57,328 WERE STILL TRYING TO BLUSTER 1117 00:29:57,328 --> 00:29:59,464 THEIR WAY OUT OF IT. 1118 00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:00,498 THAT INTERVIEW WHERE SBF 1119 00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:02,700 INSISTED HIS COMPANY WAS A REAL 1120 00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:04,068 BUSINESS CAME AFTER IT HAD 1121 00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:05,837 DECLARED CHAPTER 11. 1122 00:30:05,837 --> 00:30:06,971 AS FOR DO KWON, HE SPENT TIME 1123 00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:09,207 PUSHING A NEW TERRA 2.0 COIN, 1124 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:10,542 AND WAS FINALLY ARRESTED LAST 1125 00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:11,910 MONTH, AFTER A LENGTHY PURSUIT, 1126 00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:13,077 INCLUDING AT ONE POINT HIM 1127 00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:15,046 TWEETING THAT HE WASN'T "ON THE 1128 00:30:15,046 --> 00:30:16,447 RUN" FROM SOUTH KOREAN 1129 00:30:16,447 --> 00:30:17,782 AUTHORITIES, TO WHICH THEY 1130 00:30:17,782 --> 00:30:18,850 RESPONDED THAT HE WAS "OBVIOUSLY 1131 00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:21,452 ON THE RUN." 1132 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:22,854 AND AS FOR MASHINSKY, HERE IS 1133 00:30:22,854 --> 00:30:24,155 AUDIO OF HIM TRYING TO BUCK UP 1134 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:25,256 HIS TEAM AT AN ALL-HANDS 1135 00:30:25,256 --> 00:30:25,924 MEETING, EVEN AS HIS COMPANY WAS 1136 00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:31,095 CRUMBLING AROUND HIM. 1137 00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:32,163 WELL, PEPSI FILED FOR 1138 00:30:32,163 --> 00:30:35,900 BANKRUPTCY TWICE, RIGHT? 1139 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:36,467 DOES IT MAKE THE PEPSI TASTE 1140 00:30:36,467 --> 00:30:40,338 LESS GOOD, RIGHT? 1141 00:30:40,338 --> 00:30:40,905 DELTA FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY, 1142 00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:41,506 RIGHT? 1143 00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:42,540 DO YOU NOT FLY DELTA BECAUSE 1144 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,842 THEY FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY? 1145 00:30:44,842 --> 00:30:46,211 John: OKAY, BUT THAT'S NOT 1146 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:47,078 THE SAME, IS IT? 1147 00:30:47,078 --> 00:30:48,046 CELSIUS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD 1148 00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:49,113 WITH MONEY. 1149 00:30:49,113 --> 00:30:51,449 IF DELTA CRASHED FOUR BILLION 1150 00:30:51,449 --> 00:30:52,050 PLANES AND DRINKING PEPSI GAVE 1151 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:53,184 EVERYONE INFINITY DIARRHEA, THEN 1152 00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:53,851 YEAH, PEOPLE MIGHT LOSE TRUST IN 1153 00:30:53,851 --> 00:30:56,354 THEM, AND FOR PRETTY FUCKING 1154 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:56,988 GOOD REASON. 1155 00:30:56,988 --> 00:31:00,058 AND THE THING IS, THERE ARE 1156 00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:00,792 STILL COMPANIES OUT THERE, 1157 00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:04,329 MAKING ALL THE SAME CLAIMS THAT 1158 00:31:04,329 --> 00:31:04,762 YOU'VE SEEN TONIGHT. 1159 00:31:04,762 --> 00:31:05,997 AND I'M NOT SAYING THEY'RE ALL 1160 00:31:05,997 --> 00:31:06,764 SCAMS. 1161 00:31:06,764 --> 00:31:07,765 MAYBE THESE THREE ARE THE 1162 00:31:07,765 --> 00:31:08,633 EXCEPTIONS, ALTHOUGH THEY'D BE 1163 00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:10,335 JOINING ALL THE OTHER EXCEPTIONS 1164 00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:11,002 THAT WE HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO TALK 1165 00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:11,636 ABOUT TONIGHT, FROM BITCONNECT, 1166 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:12,203 TO QUADRIGA, TO SO, SO MANY 1167 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:17,508 MORE. 1168 00:31:17,508 --> 00:31:20,612 BUT THE TRUTH IS, IN A FINANCIAL 1169 00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:21,145 SYSTEM WHERE THE ONLY REAL 1170 00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:22,380 CURRENCY IS CONFIDENCE, SCAMMERS 1171 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,049 ARE GOING TO THRIVE. 1172 00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:26,484 AND I KNOW THAT WE USUALLY LIKE 1173 00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:27,051 TO POINT TO A SOLUTION AT THE 1174 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:28,019 END OF OUR STORIES, AND THAT 1175 00:31:28,019 --> 00:31:28,586 OFTEN MEANS CALLING FOR MORE 1176 00:31:28,586 --> 00:31:30,121 REGULATION. 1177 00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:32,090 BUT I'M NOT SURE THAT'S A GOOD 1178 00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:33,458 IDEA HERE. 1179 00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:35,059 THE DANGER IS, REGULATION MIGHT 1180 00:31:35,059 --> 00:31:35,526 GIVE THIS SECTOR MORE 1181 00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:36,894 LEGITIMACY. 1182 00:31:36,894 --> 00:31:38,429 IT'D MAKE A RISKY INVESTMENT 1183 00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:39,230 LOOK SAFE, WHEN IT IS CLEARLY 1184 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:44,469 NOT. 1185 00:31:44,469 --> 00:31:45,236 AND THAT, IN TURN, THAT MIGHT 1186 00:31:45,236 --> 00:31:46,304 ENTICE BANKS TO START GETTING 1187 00:31:46,304 --> 00:31:46,938 MORE INVOLVED IN IT, GIVING THE 1188 00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:47,905 SECTOR EVEN MORE LEGITIMACY, AND 1189 00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:48,539 ALSO, EXPOSING ALL OF US TO ITS 1190 00:31:48,539 --> 00:31:51,009 VOLATILITY. 1191 00:31:51,009 --> 00:31:51,643 IT REALLY SAYS A LOT THAT ONE OF 1192 00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:52,810 THE LEADING ADVOCATES FOR THE 1193 00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:54,579 GOVERNMENT TO STRONGLY REGULATE 1194 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:58,483 CRYPTO WAS SAM BANKMAN-FRIED. 1195 00:31:58,483 --> 00:31:59,384 AND LOOK, I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT 1196 00:31:59,384 --> 00:32:00,451 SAYING WE SHOULD GET RID OF 1197 00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:01,853 CRYPTO ENTIRELY. 1198 00:32:01,853 --> 00:32:03,421 IT COULD EVENTUALLY BE USEFUL. 1199 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:03,988 MAYBE THE THIRD TIME THAT WE 1200 00:32:03,988 --> 00:32:05,590 TALK ABOUT IT, WE'LL ALL BE 1201 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:06,157 USING A DIGITAL COIN TO BUY 1202 00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:12,030 EVERYTHING. 1203 00:32:12,030 --> 00:32:12,664 I DOUBT IT, BUT I CAN'T PREDICT 1204 00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:12,964 THE FUTURE. 1205 00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:14,666 AFTER ALL, I'M NO JIM CRAMER. 1206 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:15,466 BUT WE SHOULD RECOGNIZE THAT 1207 00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:16,734 RIGHT NOW, THE MAIN THING YOU 1208 00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:19,504 CAN REALLY DO WITH CRYPTO IS 1209 00:32:19,504 --> 00:32:20,772 GAMBLE WITH MORE CRYPTO. 1210 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,140 THIS IS ALL STILL A CASINO. 1211 00:32:22,140 --> 00:32:23,941 SO IF YOU DO WANT TO INVEST, DO 1212 00:32:23,941 --> 00:32:25,209 YOUR OWN DUE DILIGENCE, NEVER 1213 00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:27,512 PUT IN MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD 1214 00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:28,880 TO LOSE, AND IF YOU EVER SEE 1215 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,348 SOMEONE DOING THIS. 1216 00:32:30,348 --> 00:32:32,583 RUN. 1217 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,120 AND NOW, THIS. 1218 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,122 Announcer: AND NOW, A LOOK AT 1219 00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:38,723 A FEW MORE JIM CRAMER'S GREAT 1220 00:32:38,723 --> 00:32:39,624 CALLS. 1221 00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:41,693 COULD THIS BE THE FUTURE? 1222 00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,261 LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK WITH 1223 00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:44,996 ELIZABETH HOULTON. 1224 00:32:44,996 --> 00:32:49,300 TO ME, IT'S REASONABLE TO 1225 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:52,770 COMPARE YOU TO STEVE JOBS AND 1226 00:32:52,770 --> 00:32:53,304 WHAT HE DID FOR COMPUTING. 1227 00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:56,107 ♪ ♪ 1228 00:32:56,107 --> 00:33:00,578 THE DATA, SVB FINANCIAL. 1229 00:33:00,578 --> 00:33:01,179 THIS COMPANY'S EMERGING WITH A 1230 00:33:01,179 --> 00:33:01,713 DEPOSIT THAT'S BEEN SAFELY 1231 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:02,747 CONCERNED ABOUT. 1232 00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:03,314 I THINK THE FEARS WERE NOT 1233 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:06,984 JUSTIFIED. 1234 00:33:06,984 --> 00:33:08,186 IT'S A COMPELLING SITUATION. 1235 00:33:08,186 --> 00:33:08,519 ♪ ♪ 1236 00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:09,187 ZOOM VIDEO. 1237 00:33:09,187 --> 00:33:09,987 WHAT CAN I SAY? 1238 00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:11,322 THIS IS THEIR ECONOMY. 1239 00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:13,224 THE ZOOM OF ECONOMY. 1240 00:33:13,224 --> 00:33:14,025 IT'S THE GREATEST STORY I'VE 1241 00:33:14,025 --> 00:33:14,559 SEEN SINCE THE DAWN OF THE 1242 00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:18,696 PERSONAL COMPUTER. 1243 00:33:18,696 --> 00:33:21,733 ♪ ♪ 1244 00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:24,669 BEAR STEARNS! 1245 00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:30,375 IT WAS. 1246 00:33:30,375 --> 00:33:30,942 NOW IT'S... 1247 00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:31,909 GREAT BRITAIN, GREAT INVESTMENT 1248 00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:34,579 BANK. 1249 00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:35,813 ♪ ♪ 1250 00:33:35,813 --> 00:33:43,020 YOU CLAIM THEY HAVE AN ARMY, BUT 1251 00:33:43,020 --> 00:33:44,389 THAT ARMY'S GOING TO BE OVERRUN 1252 00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:44,889 IN THE FIRST TWO HOURS. 1253 00:33:44,889 --> 00:33:46,224 I FELT LIKE A MILLION BUCKS BUT 1254 00:33:46,224 --> 00:33:46,991 THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO GET THE 1255 00:33:46,991 --> 00:33:48,259 STOCK MARKET. 1256 00:33:48,259 --> 00:33:48,826 PEOPLE SHOULD BE BUYING THE 1257 00:33:48,826 --> 00:33:50,027 STOCK. 1258 00:33:50,027 --> 00:33:51,929 THIS IS SO FOR REAL. 1259 00:33:51,929 --> 00:33:52,730 ♪ ♪ 1260 00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:55,133 YEAH, LET ME SAY THIS. 1261 00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:57,001 I MADE A MISTAKE HERE. 1262 00:33:57,001 --> 00:33:59,437 I WAS WRONG. 1263 00:33:59,437 --> 00:34:00,171 I TRUSTED THIS MAN COMPLETELY. 1264 00:34:00,171 --> 00:34:13,951 THAT WAS ILL-ADVISED. 1265 00:34:13,951 --> 00:34:14,218 ♪ ♪ 1266 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:14,886 [LAUGHTER] 1267 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:15,853 John: THAT'S OUR SHOW, 1268 00:34:15,853 --> 00:34:16,788 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING! 1269 00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:17,088 GOOD NIGHT! 1270 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:18,156 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]