1 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:23,923 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:35,969 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 3 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,704 John: WELCOME TO LAST WEEK 4 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:38,471 TONIGHT, I'M JOHN OLIVER. 5 00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,205 THANKS SO MUCH FOR JOINING US. 6 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,173 IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK FROM LORI 7 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:41,107 LIGHTFOOT LOSING HER REELECTION 8 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,108 BID IN CHICAGO, TO ALEC MURDAUGH 9 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:42,942 BEING FOUND GUILTY OF TWO 10 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:43,910 MURDERS. 11 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,345 AND OF ALL THE ILL-ADVISED 12 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,279 PIECES OF COMMENTARY CONCERNING 13 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,614 THIS BLOCKBUSTER TRIAL, PERHAPS 14 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:50,183 NONE WAS LESS WELCOME THAN THIS: 15 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,384 A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE ASKING 16 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,486 ME WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS, UH, 17 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,855 ALEX MURDAUGH TRIAL. 18 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:56,823 I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY THINK I'M 19 00:00:56,823 --> 00:01:02,362 AN EXPERT ON IT. 20 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,231 John: I DO, BECAUSE THERE 21 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,566 ARE EXACTLY TWO THINGS YOU HAVE 22 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:10,637 EXPERTISE ON IN THIS LIFE. 23 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,172 FOOTBALL AND MURDERING WIVES. 24 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,474 NO ONE IS ASKING FOR YOUR TAKE 25 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:15,575 ON HIS RUSHING AVERAGE SO I'M 26 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,776 GUESSING IT'S THE SECOND ONE, WE 27 00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:18,478 ARE GOING TO START WITH OUR MAIN 28 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:22,415 STORY TONIGHT WHICH CONCERNS 29 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,283 RON DeSANTIS. 30 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:23,850 BUSINESS FRED FLINTSTONE. 31 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:24,851 DESANTIS HAS BEEN ALL OVER THE 32 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:25,318 NEWS THIS WEEK, AS HE IS 33 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,085 SEEMINGLY EVERY WEEK. 34 00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,620 HE APPOINTED 35 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,722 HIS POLITICAL BACKERS TO A NEW 36 00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:30,457 DISNEY OVERSIGHT BOARD. 37 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,124 HE RELEASED A NEW BOOK "THE 38 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,025 COURAGE TO BE FREE. 39 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:32,759 AND BY THE WAY, I HAVE 40 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,560 A LITTLE GIFT FOR OUR STUDIO 41 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,327 AUDIENCE, LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS! 42 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:35,261 THE GIFT IS, IT ISN'T THERE. 43 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:39,032 YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT. 44 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,301 YOU'RE WELCOME! 45 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:41,968 AND HE PUT OUT THIS EYE-CATCHING 46 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,236 VIDEO: 47 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:48,241 FLORIDA IS PROOF POSITIVE 48 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:48,842 THAT WE THE PEOPLE ARE NOT 49 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,909 DESTINED FOR FAILURE. 50 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:50,543 DESANTIS WINS. 51 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:51,311 HE HAS MADE A PROMISE, AND HE'S 52 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,412 MAKING GOOD ON THE PROMISE. 53 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,213 FLORIDA IS LEADING THE 54 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,347 NATION. 55 00:01:54,347 --> 00:02:00,487 DECLINE IS A CHOICE. 56 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,154 SUCCESS IS ATTAINABLE. 57 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:01,754 AND FREEDOM IS WORTH FIGHTING 58 00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:02,455 FOR. 59 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,490 John: WOW. 60 00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,925 THERE'S A LOT THERE, BUT 61 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:06,626 "FLORIDA'S PROOF THAT WE THE 62 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,327 PEOPLE ARE NOT DESTINED FOR 63 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,461 FAILURE?" 64 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,729 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 65 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,064 LAST YEAR ALONE IN FLORIDA, A 66 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,365 MAN TRIED TO STEAL A CROSSBOW BY 67 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,900 STUFFING IT DOWN HIS PANTS, A 68 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,568 WOMAN INSTIGATED A POLICE CHASE 69 00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:16,803 SO SHE COULD CROSS "GETTING 70 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,338 ARRESTED' OFF HER BUCKET LIST, 71 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,572 AND A MAN WAS CHARGED WITH 72 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:20,406 BATTERY FOR THROWING A HOT DOG 73 00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:22,675 AT A POLICE OFFICER. 74 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:23,676 THE PEOPLE MAY NOT BE DESTINED 75 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:24,544 FOR FAILURE, BUT A LOT OF 76 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,312 INDIVIDUALS DOWN THERE SURE SEEM 77 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,348 DRAWN TO IT. 78 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,016 THIS FEELS LIKE A COORDINATED 79 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:36,055 ROLLOUT OF HIS INEVITABLE 80 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,323 PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN. 81 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:37,924 BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T 82 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,893 YET ANNOUNCED HE'S RUNNING, HE'S 83 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,027 ALREADY MANY CONSERVATIVES' 84 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:41,928 FAVORITE CANDIDATE. 85 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:42,762 AFTER HIS LANDSLIDE REELECTION 86 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:43,463 AS GOVERNOR LAST NOVEMBER, THE 87 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,664 NEW YORK POST PROCLAIMED HIM 88 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,598 DEFUTURE. 89 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:49,369 WHICH IS, YOU KNOW, 90 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,136 DEEEEEPRESSING. 91 00:02:50,136 --> 00:02:50,770 AND HE RECEIVED THIS CRINGE 92 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:51,404 INDUCING INTRODUCTION FROM KARI 93 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,272 LAKE: 94 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,306 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE'S GOT. 95 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,340 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE HEARD OF 96 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,375 THIS, BUT HE'S GOT B.D.E. 97 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:58,845 ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? 98 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,215 ASK YOUR KIDS ABOUT IT LATER. 99 00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:06,986 I CALL IT BIG DESANTIS ENERGY. 100 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:07,787 John: OKAY, 101 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:08,788 THAT'S TERRIBLE, BUT JUST TO BE 102 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:09,722 CLEAR: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT B 103 00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,224 D-E IS, PLEASE DON'T ASK YOUR 104 00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,660 KIDS ABOUT IT LATER. 105 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,861 IN FACT, FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE 106 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,029 KIDS, I'LL JUST TELL YOU RIGHT 107 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,797 NOW: IT STANDS FOR BIG DICK 108 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,232 ENERGY, A KIND OF EASY, MAGNETIC 109 00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,600 CONFIDENCE THAT DOESN'T 110 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,935 NECESSARILY MEAN YOU HAVE A 111 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:22,669 LARGE PENIS, OR, INDEED, A PENIS 112 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:23,970 AT ALL. 113 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,605 IT'S JUST THE ENERGY ASSOCIATED. 114 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:26,839 A LIST OF THOSE WITH B-D-E WOULD 115 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,007 INCLUDE 116 00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,009 BRYAN CRANSTON, CHRISTINE 117 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,911 BARANSKI, THE PIXAR LAMP, 118 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:36,849 CHARLES DARWIN, AND SNOOPY. 119 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,585 DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? 120 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,285 PLEASE COME TO ME AND NOT YOUR 121 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:39,953 KIDS IF YOU HAVE ANY PENIS 122 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:40,720 RELATED SLANG EXPLAINED IN THE 123 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,754 FUTURE, IT IS WORTH NOTING IN 124 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:42,989 GENERAL YOU CAN'T PREDICT MUCH 125 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,491 ABOUT A PRESIDENTIAL RACE 20 126 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,694 MONTHS OUT, PREVIOUS EARLY 127 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:48,861 FRONTRUNNERS INCLUDE JEB BUSH, 128 00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:52,231 THE LATE JEB BUSH? 129 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:52,966 I DON'T KNOW. 130 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:53,933 IT'S UNCLEAR. 131 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,435 HOWARD DEAN AND RUDY GIULIANI 132 00:03:55,435 --> 00:04:01,007 WANDERING AROUND CENTRAL PARK 133 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:01,975 CUPBOARD AND THOUSAND ISLAND 134 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,242 DRESSING AND A SCREAMING ABOUT 135 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:06,379 THE ELECTION FRAUD TO PIGEONS. 136 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,580 AND RON DeSANTIS IS LIKELY TO 137 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,949 HAVE TO GO UP AGAINST 138 00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:11,050 DONALD TRUMP WHICH HISTORY HAS 139 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:14,253 SHOWN IS NO EASY TASK. 140 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:14,988 AND WHILE TRUMP INITIALLY 141 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,022 STRUGGLED TO COIN A DAMAGING 142 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:19,292 NICKNAME FOR DESANTIS-- WITH 143 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:19,859 HIS FIRST ATTEMPT BEING THE 144 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:20,393 EMBARRASSINGLY WEAK "RON 145 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,227 DESANCTIMONIOUS", HE LATER 146 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:21,928 UNVEILED SOMETHING WITH A LOT 147 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,729 MORE PUNCH. 148 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:23,830 ACCORDING TO THE TIMES, TRUMP 149 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:24,831 HAS SPENT WEEKS TRYING TO GOAD 150 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:25,999 DESANTIS INTO A FIGHT, 151 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,166 DESCRIBING HIM IN CONVERSATIONS 152 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,969 AS MEATBALL RON. 153 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,004 [LAUGHTER] 154 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,572 John: APPARENTLY HE WAS 155 00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:33,873 CALLING HIM MEATBALL RON. 156 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:34,807 I HATE TO SAY IT: TRUMP'S STILL 157 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,676 GOT IT! 158 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,544 IT'S PERFECTLY STUPID, CHILDISH, 159 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,079 AND HURTFUL IN A WAY THAT'S 160 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:42,548 DIFFICULT TO ARTICULATE. 161 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:43,516 ALSO IT'S A GOOD NAME ON ITS 162 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:44,550 OWN. 163 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,952 IF YOU'D ASKED ME TO DESCRIBE 164 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:46,919 THE PERFECT "MEATBALL RON" I'D 165 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,987 SAY I WOULD SAY A ROUND LITTLE 166 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:51,557 HAMSTER. 167 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:52,258 OR 168 00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:54,060 THIS SMILEY CARTOON CHARACTER. 169 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,095 Y'KNOW-- LITTLE ARMS AND LEGS, 170 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:56,729 LITTLE MOUSTACHE, MAYBE VOICED 171 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:57,497 BY CHRIS PRATT IN A 172 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,264 STRAIGHT-TO-STREAMING KIDS MOVIE 173 00:04:58,264 --> 00:04:59,332 WITH WEIRDLY CHRISTIAN 174 00:04:59,332 --> 00:04:59,932 UNDERTONES THAT FEELS VAGUELY 175 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,300 ANTI-ITALIAN. 176 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,535 BUT THEN IF YOU SIMPLY SHOWED 177 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:07,206 ME THIS GUY, I'D SAY "FORGET 178 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,041 EVERYTHING I JUST SAID, "THAT'S' 179 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,242 MY MEATBALL RON RIGHT THERE." 180 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,244 THAT IS MY MEATBALL. 181 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,211 BUT WHATEVER TRUMP CALLS HIM IN 182 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:13,279 THE FUTURE, THE FACT IS, 183 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,447 MEATBALL RON REMAINS A STRONG 184 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:15,682 CONTENDER FOR THE REPUBLICAN 185 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,150 NOMINATION. 186 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,885 AND WHILE MANY COMMENTATORS 187 00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,753 INSIST ON FRAMING HIM SOLELY IN 188 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,188 OPPOSITION TO TRUMP-- SAYING 189 00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:23,322 THINGS LIKE THAT HE'S "DONALD 190 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,124 TRUMP WITH A BRAIN"-- THAT 191 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:25,892 THAT DOESN'T SEEM PARTICULARLY 192 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,627 MEANINGFUL. 193 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:28,695 IT'S LIKE SAYING, "THAT NEW 194 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,729 RESTAURANT IS BETTER THAN THIS 195 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:30,830 CHICKEN POT PIE THAT FELL ON THE 196 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,131 SIDEWALK." 197 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,466 SURE, IT IS BUT YOU'RE NOT 198 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:34,801 GIVING ME MUCH USEFUL 199 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,235 INFORMATION THERE. 200 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,537 SO IF I MAY QUOTE TOM BRADY'S 201 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:40,173 PUBLICIST WHILE REVIEWING HIS 202 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,708 OLD GOLF PHOTOS: "LET'S TAKE 203 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,510 TRUMP OUT OF THE PICTURE." 204 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,479 AND TONIGHT, LET'S EXAMINE 205 00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,081 DESANTIS ON HIS OWN MERITS, AND 206 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,917 LOOK AT JUST SOME OF WHAT HE'S 207 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:51,918 DONE TO AND FOR THE OVER 20 208 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:52,919 MILLION PEOPLE OF FLORIDA. 209 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,220 BECAUSE IT'S SOMETIMES LESS AND 210 00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,254 HE CLAIMED, SOMETIMES LESS THAN 211 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,256 HIS CRITICS CLAIM AND SOMETIMES 212 00:05:57,256 --> 00:05:58,524 WORSE THAN 213 00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,459 YOU MAY KNOW. 214 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,359 AND LET'S SKIP OVER HIS EARLY 215 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,260 LIFE-- THE SHORT VERSION BEING, 216 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,395 HE GREW UP IN FLORIDA, WAS A 217 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,629 STANDOUT BASEBALL PLAYER, AND 218 00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:04,597 EVEN GOT TO THE LITTLE LEAGUE 219 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,932 WORLD SERIES WITH HIS LOCAL 220 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,333 TEAM. 221 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:08,601 HE THEN WENT TO YALE, THEN 222 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,269 HARVARD LAW SCHOOL AND 223 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:10,903 SUBSEQUENTLY JOINED THE NAVY AS 224 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:12,371 AN ATTORNEY. 225 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,639 EVENTUALLY HE MARRIED HIS WIFE 226 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,074 CASEY DESPITE HAVING THE MOST 227 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,342 BIZARRE DATING TACTIC I HAVE 228 00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:18,411 EVER HEARD. 229 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,645 ACCORDING TO A FORMER CLASSMATE 230 00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:22,115 HE WOULD APPARENTLY TELL DATES 231 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:27,019 HE LIKES THAI FOOD BUT 232 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,721 PRONOUNCED IT THIGH. 233 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:29,789 IF THEY CORRECTED HIM, HE WOULD 234 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:30,356 MAKE UP AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE, 235 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:31,290 BECAUSE QUOTE "HE DIDN'T WANT A 236 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:32,892 GIRLFRIEND WHO CORRECTED HIM." 237 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,393 AND IF THAT'S TRUE, WOW. 238 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,629 JUST IMAGINE BEING ON THAT DATE. 239 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:37,797 YOU'RE OUT AT DINNER, AND OUT OF 240 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,198 NOWHERE, YOUR DATE TELLS YOU HE 241 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,100 REALLY LIKES "THIGH" FOOD. 242 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,201 YOU THINK, "WAIT, DID HE JUST 243 00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,269 CALL THAI FOOD "THIGH' FOOD? 244 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,437 I MUST HAVE MISHEARD." 245 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,671 BUT THEN HE GOES ON TO SAY HE 246 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:51,244 KNOWS A GREAT FIVE FOOD 247 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,846 KNOWS A GREAT THIGH FOOD 248 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:54,747 RESTAURANT IN THE AREA 249 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,348 WHILE STARING VERY INTENTLY AT 250 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:55,882 YOU, ALMOST STUDYING YOUR 251 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:56,582 REACTION. 252 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,316 SO AS POLITELY AS YOU CAN, YOU 253 00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,484 SAY, "WAIT, DO YOU MEAN "THAI" 254 00:06:58,484 --> 00:06:59,218 FOOD? 255 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,019 LIKE, FROM THAILAND?" 256 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:00,887 AND THEN SUDDENLY, HIS FACE 257 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:01,721 DROPS, AND HE SAYS 'SORRY, I 258 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,555 FORGOT I HAVE A DOCTOR'S 259 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:03,356 APPOINTMENT TONIGHT," AND HE 260 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,056 LEAVES, LEAVING YOU WITH THE 261 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:04,824 CHECK, AND THE GREATEST 262 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:05,691 FIRST-DATE DISASTER STORY OF ALL 263 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:09,896 TIME. 264 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,330 [LAUGHTER] 265 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,398 [APPLAUSE] 266 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,000 THEN IN 2012 HE WAS ELECTED TO 267 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,802 CONGRESS. 268 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:16,569 WHILE THERE, A FORMER COLLEAGUE 269 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,436 SAYS HE ALWAYS HAD HIS EARBUDS 270 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:19,438 IN, TO KEEP PEOPLE AWAY. 271 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:21,274 AND IF YOU'RE PICKING UP ON A 272 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,608 THEME OF "RON DESANTIS DOESN'T 273 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,876 LIKE HEARING ANYONE'S VOICE BUT 274 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,279 HIS OWN," YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING. 275 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,213 BECAUSE SINCE BECOMING FLORIDA 276 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,414 GOVERNOR, HE'S MADE "SHUTTING 277 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:29,816 DOWN DISSENTING VOICES" 278 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,284 SOMETHING OF A FEATURE. 279 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,385 HERE'S A CAMPAIGN AD FROM LAST 280 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,820 YEAR IN WHICH HE SHOWS OFF HIS 281 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:38,457 SKILL AT BATTLING THE MEDIA. 282 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,892 GOOD MORNING, LADIES AND 283 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:40,560 GENTLEMEN. 284 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,761 THIS IS YOUR GOVERNOR SPEAKING. 285 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,562 TODAY'S TRAINING EVOLUTION: 286 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:43,763 DOGFIGHTING. 287 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,464 TAKING ON THE CORPORATE MEDIA. 288 00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:49,001 NUMBER ONE: DON'T FIRE UNLESS 289 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,536 FIRED UPON, BUT WHEN THEY FIRE, 290 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,605 YOU FIRE BACK WITH OVERWHELMING 291 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,840 FORCE. 292 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:54,373 DOES IT SAY THAT IN THE 293 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:55,141 BILL? 294 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,410 I'M ASKING YOU TO 295 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,945 TELL ME WHAT'S IN THE BILL. 296 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,847 NUMBER TWO: NEVER, EVER BACK 297 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,381 DOWN FROM A FIGHT. 298 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,216 IF I COULD COMPLETE THE 299 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,183 QUESTION, THOUGH, WOULD YOU 300 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:04,650 RATHER IT BE-? 301 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,151 SO ARE YOU GONNA GIVE A 302 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,285 SPEECH OR ASK A QUESTION? 303 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,353 NUMBER THREE: DON'T ACCEPT 304 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,254 THEIR NARRATIVE. 305 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:09,856 IT'S WRONG, IT'S A FAKE 306 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,123 NARRATIVE, I JUST DISABUSED YOU 307 00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,391 OF THE NARRATIVE, AND YOU DON'T 308 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:15,094 CARE ABOUT THE FACTS. 309 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,262 John: AMAZINGLY, UNTIL 40 310 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,663 SECONDS AGO, "TOP GUN: MAVERICK" 311 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,598 WAS MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF LAST 312 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,032 YEAR. 313 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:21,934 NOW, I'M SAD TO SAY, IT'S MY 314 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:22,635 LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE OF 315 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,169 ALL TIME, TIED WITH 316 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:23,736 "CATS" 317 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,607 AND "THE ZAPRUDER FILM." 318 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:28,941 DESANTIS IS CONSTANTLY 319 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:32,778 COMPLAINING THE MEDIA'S TAKING 320 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:33,713 HIM OUT OF CONTEXT. 321 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:34,947 ALTHOUGH IT'S 322 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:35,715 WORTH NOTING THAT IN THAT AD, 323 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:36,382 HE'S REMOVING SOME PRETTY 324 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:36,983 IMPORTANT CONTEXT FROM THE 325 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:37,550 MEDIA. 326 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:38,317 TAKE THAT CLIP WHERE HE SAID, 327 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:39,552 "ARE YOU GONNA GIVE A SPEECH OR 328 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:40,519 ASK A QUESTION?", IF YOU LOOK AT 329 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,721 THE START OF THAT EXCHANGE, 330 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,189 YOU'LL NOTICE ONLY ONE PERSON IS 331 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,924 DOING THE FIGHTING THERE. 332 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,092 GOVERNOR, WHAT HAS GONE WRONG 333 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:46,759 WITH-GOVERNOR, WHAT HAS GONE 334 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,761 WRONG WITH THE ROLLOUT OF THE 335 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:49,962 VACCINE THAT WE'VE SEEN PHONE 336 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:54,233 LINES JAMMED, WEBSITES CRASHING, 337 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:54,734 IT'S A LOT OF DEMAND. 338 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:55,534 I MEAN, I THINK AT THE END OF 339 00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:56,002 IF I COULD- 340 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:56,602 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, YOU JUST 341 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,136 SAID WHAT HAS GONE WRONG. 342 00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:57,737 SO I'M ANSWERING THE QUESTION. 343 00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:58,371 IF I COULD COMPLETE THE 344 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,272 QUESTION THOUGH. 345 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,006 SO ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE A 346 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:00,539 SPEECH OR YOU'RE GOING TO 347 00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,108 ANSWER-ASK A QUESTION? 348 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:02,842 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, 349 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:03,442 GOVERNOR, I'M TRYING TO- 350 00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:04,043 YOU 351 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:04,443 ASKED A QUESTION. 352 00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:04,944 I'M GOING TO ANSWER IT. 353 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:05,611 I'M TRYING TO FINISH MY 354 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:06,379 QUESTION. 355 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,346 NO, YOU ARE GIVING A SPEECH, 356 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:08,581 YOU ASKED A QUESTION. 357 00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:13,786 I AM TRYING TO ASK YOU- 358 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:14,420 YOU ARE GOING TO ASK HOW MANY 359 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:14,687 QUESTIONS? 360 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,154 YOU GET THREE? 361 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:15,821 THEY ONLY GOT ONE QUESTION. 362 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:16,289 WHY DO YOU GET THREE? 363 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:16,789 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, 364 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:17,390 GOVERNOR, I'M JUST ASKING IF I 365 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:17,924 COULD FINISH MY QUESTION. 366 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:18,457 YOU DIDN'T. 367 00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:19,992 YOU FINISHED THE QUESTION. 368 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,963 John: NO SHE DIDN'T! 369 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:24,563 AND ALL SHE'S DOING IS ASKING 370 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:25,598 FOR SOME BASIC ACCOUNTABILITY. 371 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,066 WHEN YOU SEE THAT IN CONTEXT, 372 00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:27,967 THAT'S A PRETTY GROSS CASE OF 373 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,368 SOMEONE MEATBALLSPLAINING TO A 374 00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,203 JOURNALIST WHO'S JUST TRYING TO 375 00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:33,439 DO HER FUCKING JOB. 376 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,540 THOUGH, TO BE CLEAR, DESANTIS 377 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,208 DOESN'T HATE ALL MEDIA. 378 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,543 BECAUSE THERE IS ONE NOTABLE 379 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,544 EXCEPTION, AND IT'S THE EXACT 380 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,046 ONE YOU'RE THINKING OF. 381 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,548 DESANTIS IS ON FOX NEWS ALL THE 382 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:44,283 TIME-- MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT. 383 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,018 EVEN BY REPUBLICAN STANDARDS, 384 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:47,186 THE MUTUAL AFFECTION BETWEEN HIM 385 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,821 AND FOX IS PRETTY EXTREME. 386 00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,690 IN JUST ONE FOUR-MONTH STRETCH, 387 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,291 THE NETWORK ASKED HIM TO APPEAR 388 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,460 ON ITS AIRWAVES 113 TIMES, OR 389 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:57,463 NEARLY ONCE A DAY, WITH ONE FOX 390 00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,664 PRODUCER EVEN OFFERING TO LET 391 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,399 HIM PICK THE SUBJECT MATTER IF 392 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,535 HE AGREED TO COME ON. 393 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,836 WHICH IS PATHETIC. 394 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,404 I'LL PUT IT THIS WAY. 395 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,572 IF FOX NEWS EVER WENT ON A DATE 396 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:07,907 WITH RON DESANTIS, THEY 397 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,442 DEFINITELY WOULDN'T CORRECT HIM 398 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:15,281 WHEN HE CALLED IT "FIRE" FOOD. 399 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:15,815 HE ISN'T JUST ANOTHER FOX 400 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:16,182 TALKING HEAD. 401 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:16,615 HE 402 00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:17,316 SELLS HIMSELF AS SOMEONE WITH A 403 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,185 PROVEN TRACK RECORD. 404 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,287 AND HE HAS DONE SOME TERRIBLE 405 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,688 STUFF-- FOR INSTANCE, AT HIS 406 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,190 URGING, HIS STATE'S MEDICAL 407 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,124 BOARD BAND GENDER AFFIRMING CARE 408 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,292 FOR MINORS AND HE SIGNED A 15 409 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,328 WEEK ABORTION BAN INTO LAW WHILE 410 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:30,262 RECENTLY SUGGESTING HE'D SIGN A 411 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,031 SIX-WEEK ONE IF IT REACHED HIS 412 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,799 DESK. 413 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,001 BUT LOOK: LOTS OF REPUBLICAN 414 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,603 GOVERNORS HAVE DONE THAT. 415 00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:38,904 WHAT MAKES DESANTIS EXTRA 416 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:40,239 POPULAR ON THE RIGHT IS HIS 417 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,340 WILLINGNESS TO WAGE BIG, 418 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,975 SYMBOLIC CULTURE WARS. 419 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,076 HE'S BRAGGED THAT HE'S MADE 420 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:46,045 FLORIDA "THE FREEST STATE" IN 421 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,346 AMERICA 422 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:48,214 WHILE DEFENDING ITS RESIDENTS 423 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,382 FROM THE GREATEST SCOURGE OF OUR 424 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,450 TIME. 425 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:52,485 WOKEISM IS REALLY A FORM OF 426 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,788 CULTURAL MARXISM. 427 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:56,489 IS THE NEW RELIGION OF THE 428 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,491 LEFT. 429 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,493 WE ARE NOT, AND WILL NEVER, EVER 430 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,496 SURRENDER TO THE WOKE MOB. 431 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,631 FLORIDA IS WHERE WOKE GOES TO 432 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,700 DIE. 433 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:08,968 John: OKAY, FIRST: FLORIDA IS 434 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,002 NOT WHERE WOKE GOES TO DIE. 435 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,003 IT'S 436 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,204 WHERE WEALTHY UPPER EAST SIDE 437 00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:12,938 NEW YORKERS GO TO DIE. 438 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,007 GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. 439 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,742 BUT SECOND: DESANTIS SAYS "WOKE" 440 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:18,444 SO OFTEN IT BEGINS TO LOSE ALL 441 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,879 MEANING, BUT IF YOU'RE WONDERING 442 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,448 WHAT HE THINKS IT ACTUALLY 443 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,249 STANDS FOR, HIS GENERAL COUNSEL 444 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:28,454 ONCE HELPFULLY DEFINED "WOKE" IN 445 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,121 COURT AS, "THE VIEW THAT THERE 446 00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:29,789 ARE SYSTEMIC INJUSTICES IN 447 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:30,623 AMERICAN SOCIETY AND THE NEED TO 448 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:31,390 HAVE POLICIES THAT ADDRESS 449 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,092 THEM." 450 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,460 WHICH IS A HELL OF A THING FOR 451 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,395 SOMEONE TO ADMIT TO EVERYONE 452 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,763 THAT YOU'RE AGAINST. 453 00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:38,597 DESANTIS MIGHT REALLY WANT TO 454 00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,698 INVEST IN A LAWYER MORE WILLING 455 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,267 TO LIE FOR HIM. 456 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,002 I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND 457 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:43,769 THERE'S ONE WANDERING AROUND 458 00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:44,804 CENTRAL PARK RIGHT NOW WHO'S 459 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,873 AVAILABLE, IF YOU CAN CATCH HIM. 460 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,443 BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. 461 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,410 HE'S SLIPPY! 462 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:52,244 DESANTIS EXPENDS A LOT OF ENERGY 463 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,079 DECRYING WOKENESS AND EMPTY 464 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,514 "VIRTUE SIGNALING"-- ALTHOUGH 465 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:56,749 HE ALSO SEEMS TO SPEND A HUGE 466 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:57,516 AMOUNT OF TIME DOING THE 467 00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:58,417 RIGHT-WING VERSION OF EXACTLY 468 00:11:58,417 --> 00:11:59,785 THAT. 469 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:08,561 FOR INSTANCE, THERE WAS THE TIME 470 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:08,994 THAT HE WADED IN ON 471 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:09,628 LIA THOMAS, A TRANS WOMAN WHO'D 472 00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:10,262 WON AN EVENT IN AN NCAA SWIMMING 473 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:10,930 CHAMPIONSHIP. 474 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:11,730 THE SECOND PLACE FINISHER HAPPEN 475 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,731 TO BE FROM FLORIDA 476 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:13,632 WHICH DESANTIS THEN TOOK AS AN 477 00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:14,233 EXCUSE TO COME OUT AND DO THIS 478 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:14,867 SHIT: 479 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,168 IF YOU LOOK AT WHAT THE NCAA 480 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,571 HAS DONE BY ALLOWING BASICALLY 481 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,906 MEN TO COMPETE IN WOMEN'S 482 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,508 ATHLETICS, IN THIS CASE THE 483 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:26,045 SWIMMING, YOU HAD THE NUMBER ONE 484 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:26,645 WOMAN WHO FINISHED WAS FROM 485 00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:27,546 SARASOTA. 486 00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:30,216 WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING A 487 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,485 PROCLAMATION SAYING THAT EMMA IS 488 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,320 THE BEST FEMALE SWIMMER IN THE 489 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,122 500 METER FREESTYLE BECAUSE SHE 490 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,457 EARNED THAT. 491 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:40,059 John: OKAY, ASIDE FROM BEING 492 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,293 FUCKING GROSS AND AWFUL, TO BE 493 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:42,261 VERY CLEAR: DESANTIS DOESN'T 494 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,230 HAVE THE POWER TO DECLARE OR 495 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,297 DISQUALIFY WINNERS IN COLLEGE 496 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:46,699 SPORTS, RENDERING THAT 497 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,067 PROCLAMATION COMPLETELY 498 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,535 POINTLESS. 499 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:50,769 BUT SINCE MEN IN SUITS SEEM TO 500 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,104 BE USING THEIR PLATFORMS TO 501 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,772 INVALIDATE PAST ATHLETIC 502 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,174 ACHIEVEMENTS OUT OF PURE SPITE, 503 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,409 I HEREBY DECLARE THAT BY SIGNING 504 00:12:57,409 --> 00:13:00,412 THIS, RON DESANTIS' LITTLE 505 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:01,013 LEAGUE 506 00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:01,614 TEAM-- THE SWINGIN' MEATBALLS 507 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,482 - DID NOT, IN FACT, EVER MAKE 508 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:04,850 THE LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES. 509 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:05,918 INSTEAD, HIS TEAM'S PLACE WILL 510 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:06,986 FROM HENCEFORTH BE TAKEN BY THE 511 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,020 SEASON SIX CAST 512 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,991 RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE. 513 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,961 I DECLARE IT! 514 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:16,328 IT IS DECLARED. 515 00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,596 IT IS DONE. 516 00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:18,164 BUT IT'S GONE WAY 517 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,265 BEYOND JUST EMPTY, HATEFUL 518 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,166 PROCLAMATIONS. 519 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,167 DESANTIS HAS ALSO SIGNED A BUNCH 520 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,134 OF ATTENTION-GRABBING BILLS THAT 521 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,068 SEEM DESIGNED TO DELIGHT 522 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:23,869 CONSERVATIVES AND ENRAGE 523 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,204 LIBERALS. 524 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,572 AND WHILE THE ANNOUNCEMENTS OF 525 00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,174 THESE BILLS TEND TO GET A LOT OF 526 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:30,009 NATIONAL MEDIA COVERAGE, THE 527 00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,510 ACTUAL IMPLEMENTATION OF THEM 528 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,612 CAN GET FAR LESS SCRUTINY. 529 00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:34,813 TAKE DESANTIS' SO-CALLED 530 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,148 "ANTI-RIOT LAW", WHICH HE PASSED 531 00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,449 FOLLOWING THE BLACK LIVES MATTER 532 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,885 PROTESTS IN THE SUMMER OF 2020. 533 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,153 THE LAW, AMONG OTHER THINGS, 534 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,355 STRENGTHENS CRIMINAL PENALTIES 535 00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:44,456 FOR THOSE DEEMED RIOTERS AT 536 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,457 DEMONSTRATIONS. 537 00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:46,625 AND HE LOVES TO 538 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,827 BRAG TO CONSERVATIVE AUDIENCES 539 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,529 ABOUT HOW MAD IT'S MADE PEOPLE. 540 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:51,864 AND I HAVE TO SAY-BRAG A 541 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,666 LITTLE BIT. 542 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,434 OUR ANTI RIOT LEGISLATION WAS 543 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,535 RECENTLY CRITICIZED BY THE 544 00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:58,270 UNITED NATIONS. 545 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,104 SO I WEAR THAT AS A BADGE OF 546 00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,207 HONOR. 547 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,342 John: OKAY! 548 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,410 BUT BEING CHASTISED BY THE UN 549 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,712 ISN'T INNATELY POSITIVE. 550 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:07,713 WHAT OTHER ADMONITIONS WOULD 551 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,081 FILL DESANTIS WITH A MISPLACED 552 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,382 SENSE OF PRIDE? 553 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:13,052 "I WAS ALSO CRITICIZED BY THE 554 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:14,186 HOLOCAUST MUSEUM, LEGO CALLED ME 555 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,487 A SCUMBAG, AND MALALA YOUSAFZAI 556 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:16,488 SAID SHE'D PUNCH ME IN THE 557 00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:17,723 OF THROAT IF SHE EVER GOT A 558 00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:18,958 CHANCE SO I WEAR THAT AS A BADGE 559 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,828 OF HONOR. 560 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:23,796 BUT IT'S NOT JUST THE UN THAT 561 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,364 HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT LAW. 562 00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,732 A JUDGE ISSUED A PRELIMINARY 563 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:27,800 INJUNCTION BLOCKING THE KEY PART 564 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:28,767 OF IT FROM BEING ENFORCED, 565 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:29,902 ARGUING THAT IT COULD 566 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:34,907 EFFECTIVELY CRIMINALIZE LEGAL, 567 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:35,507 PROTECTED SPEECH, AND THAT IT 568 00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:36,041 WAS VACANT TO THE POINT OF 569 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,343 UNCONSTITUTIONALITY. 570 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,711 THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HIS 571 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,979 "STOP SOCIAL MEDIA CENSORSHIP 572 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,180 ACT", WHICH, AGAIN, GOT A HUGE 573 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,348 AMOUNT OF ATTENTION WHEN HE 574 00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:43,782 FIRST SIGNED IT. 575 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:44,984 IT THREATENED SOCIAL MEDIA 576 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,018 PLATFORMS WITH FINES FOR BANNING 577 00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,519 POLITICAL CANDIDATES, AND HE 578 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:49,822 PROPOSED IT RIGHT AFTER A NUMBER 579 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,757 OF THEM REMOVED TRUMP AFTER 580 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,225 JANUARY 6TH. 581 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:53,626 'CAUSE OF. 582 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,426 Y'KNOW. 583 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,596 THAT THING. 584 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:58,330 BUT THAT LAW IS ALSO 585 00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,031 UNDER A PRELIMINARY INJUNCTION, 586 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,099 FROM A JUDGE WHO AT ONE POINT 587 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,167 TOLD THE DESANTIS 588 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:03,502 ADMINISTRATION'S LAWYERS, "I 589 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,436 WON'T PUT YOU ON THE SPOT AND 590 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,804 ASK YOU IF YOU'VE EVER DEALT 591 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:08,007 WITH A STATUTE THAT WAS MORE 592 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:09,308 POORLY DRAFTED, AND LOOK: HE'S 593 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:11,043 STILL FIGHTING THOSE LAWSUITS, 594 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:12,344 AND FUTURE DECISIONS COULD WIND 595 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,245 UP GOING HIS WAY-- AFTER ALL, 596 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,179 THESE CASES ARE GOING THROUGH 597 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:15,648 HIGHER COURTS THAT RANGE FROM 598 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:20,819 FAIRLY CONSERVATIVE ALL THE WAY 599 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:21,720 UP TO OVERTURNED ROE V. WADE. 600 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,955 EVEN WHEN HE HAS EXISTING LAWS 601 00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,590 ON HIS SIDE, HIS APPLICATION OF 602 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,292 THEM CAN BE SLAPDASH AND GROSS. 603 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,993 LAST YEAR, HE MADE A BIG SHOW OF 604 00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,595 ANNOUNCING HIS NEW "ELECTIONS 605 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,965 CRIME AND SECURITY OFFICE" HAD 606 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:33,799 SPEARHEADED THE ARRESTS OF 20 607 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:34,833 PEOPLE WHO'D VOTED ILLEGALLY. 608 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,968 BUT THESE WERE LARGELY PEOPLE 609 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,636 WHO THE STATE HAD CLEARED TO 610 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,605 JOIN THE VOTER ROLLS, SO THEY 611 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,539 ASSUMED THEY WERE ELIGIBLE TO 612 00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:41,874 VOTE, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY 613 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,909 TECHNICALLY WEREN'T. 614 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,411 NOW: ONE WAY 615 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:46,178 OF DEALING WITH THAT WOULD'VE 616 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:47,112 BEEN TO SIMPLY CONTACT THOSE 617 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,714 PEOPLE, EXPLAIN THE MISTAKE, AND 618 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,282 REMOVE THEM FROM THE ROLLS. 619 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,185 BUT INSTEAD, WHAT DESANTIS DID 620 00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:54,920 WAS TO SEND ARMED COPS TO 621 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,921 CONDUCT ARRESTS WITH BODY CAM 622 00:15:55,921 --> 00:16:05,064 VIDEO REVEALING POLICE WITH GUNS 623 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:05,631 DRAWN PULLING PEOPLE OUT OF 624 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,065 THEIR 625 00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:06,765 HOUSES AND IF YOU LISTEN TO THE 626 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:07,533 COPS INVOLVED, EVEN THEY SEEM 627 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,167 ANNOYED AND EMBARRASSED AT WHAT 628 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:08,701 THEY'RE HAVING TO DO. 629 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,368 THEY JUST DUMPED THIS 630 00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:10,703 SHIT ON ME. 631 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:11,804 I HAD TO PLAN THREE OPERATIONS 632 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,405 IN FOUR HOURS. 633 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:13,939 I AIN'T FRAUD-COMMIT NO 634 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,074 FRAUD. 635 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,709 WELL, SO THAT'S THE THING. 636 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,243 I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT 637 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,078 HAPPENED WITH IT, BUT YOU-YOU DO 638 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:19,812 HAVE A WARRANT, AND THAT'S WHAT 639 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,447 IT'S FOR. 640 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:22,681 WHY ARE Y'ALL DOING THIS NOW, 641 00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:24,550 AND THIS HAPPENED YEARS AGO? 642 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:25,184 I DON'T KNOW, I HAVE NO IDEA, 643 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:26,318 MAN. 644 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,419 John: WOW. 645 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:30,756 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SKETCHY 646 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,523 YOUR AUDIO NEEDS TO BE FOR COPS 647 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,926 TO ENFORCE IT RELUCTANTLY? 648 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:34,827 ENFORCING LAWS ON SCARED PEOPLE 649 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,728 IS ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE THINGS 650 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,262 TO DO. 651 00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:38,197 IT'S THAT, "MAKE SIREN GO WEE 652 00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,932 WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO" AND END OF 653 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:44,470 LIST. 654 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,037 NOW, SINCE THEN, SEVERAL OF 655 00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,405 THOSE CASES, INCLUDING ALL THOSE 656 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,206 WE JUST SHOWED, HAVE BEEN 657 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:48,440 DROPPED OR DISMISSED. 658 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,008 BUT IT 659 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,243 FEELS LIKE DESANTIS' MAIN AIM 660 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:52,544 THERE-- AS IN SO MANY CASES-- 661 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,813 WAS TO INSTILL FEAR. 662 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,582 TO MAKE PEOPLE AFRAID TO 663 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,083 PROTEST, OR TO MODERATE CONTENT, 664 00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,451 OR EVEN TO VOTE. 665 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,153 AND THAT'S THE 666 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,154 THING-- EVEN HIS SLOPPILY 667 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,622 WRITTEN LAWS CAN END UP DOING 668 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:04,623 REAL HARM. 669 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,358 AND MAYBE THE CLEAREST PLACE TO 670 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,126 SEE ALL OF THIS IN ACTION IS IN 671 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,061 FLORIDA'S SCHOOLS. 672 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,763 BECAUSE HE'S BEEN BUSY THERE. 673 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,331 YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER LAST 674 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,032 YEAR'S PASSAGE OF H-B 1557, 675 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:16,969 THE FLORIDA PARENTAL RIGHTS IN 676 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:17,736 EDUCATION ACT, A-K-A "THE DON'T 677 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,538 SAY GAY BILL." 678 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,639 THOUGH DESANTIS SAYS THAT NAME 679 00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:22,508 PUSHES A FALSE NARRATIVE, AND 680 00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:24,443 HAS CLAIMED THAT WHAT THE BILL 681 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:27,012 SIMPLY SAYS IS NO SEXUAL 682 00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:27,579 INSTRUCTION IN PRE-K THROUGH 683 00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:28,781 THREE. 684 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:36,722 BUT THE 685 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,490 TRUTH IS, THE BILL IS NOT AS 686 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,192 NARROW AS THAT AT ALL. 687 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,059 AS THIS DESANTIS 688 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:41,660 SUPPORTER OPENLY ACKNOWLEDGES. 689 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,261 WHAT THIS BILL'S TRYING TO 690 00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:42,895 PREVENT IS INDOCTRINATION OF OUR 691 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,162 CHILDREN. 692 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,163 BUT THE BILL IS A SWEEPING, 693 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:44,730 GENERAL PIECE OF LEGISLATION 694 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,364 THAT DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO YOUNG 695 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:46,265 CHILDREN, IT APPLIES THROUGHOUT 696 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:47,232 THE ENTIRE SCHOOL AGE, WHERE IT 697 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,333 SAYS "AGE-APPROPRIATE TEACHING 698 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,067 OF GENDER IDENTITY AND 699 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,469 SEXUALITY.'" 700 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,270 SO THE BILL IS, 701 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,538 IT-IT DOES, YOU'RE RIGHT, IT 702 00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,072 TARGETS KINDERGARTEN TO THIRD 703 00:17:54,072 --> 00:17:55,073 GRADE AND IT SAYS "OR AGE 704 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,375 APPROPRIATE.' 705 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,509 YEAH. 706 00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:58,710 SO WHEN IS IT AGE APPROPRIATE TO 707 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,045 TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY? 708 00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,580 IT-IT VARIES BY THE-BY THE 709 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,048 INDIVIDUAL. 710 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,283 YOU WOULD-YOU WOULD SUE A 711 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,150 TEACHER IF THEY STARTED TALKING 712 00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,118 TO YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT SAME-SEX 713 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,486 MARRIAGE OR LGBT ISSUES AT THE 714 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,854 AGE OF 17? 715 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,122 IF THEY DON'T HAVE MY CONSENT 716 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,523 AND I THINK IT'S- IT'S NOT 717 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:12,090 APPROPRIATE FOR MY DAUGHTER, 718 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,258 YES. 719 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,626 WOW. 720 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:15,260 I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD BE 721 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:19,598 SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT. 722 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,035 THAT IS THE LAW 723 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,137 John: EXACTLY. 724 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:30,008 THAT'S ROUGH TO HEAR, BUT HE IS 725 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:32,878 TECHNICALLY RIGHT THERE. 726 00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:33,378 THANKS TO RON DESANTIS, 727 00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:34,012 RIGHT NOW IT IS THE LAW IN 728 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:34,580 FLORIDA. 729 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:35,214 AND QUICK SIDENOTE: IT'S FUNNY 730 00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:35,881 HOW IT'S ALWAYS THE PEOPLE WHO 731 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:36,548 THINK HOMOSEXUALITY AS A CONCEPT 732 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:37,382 NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT AT AN 733 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,150 "APPROPRIATE AGE" THAT DON'T 734 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:38,984 GIVE A SECOND THOUGHT TO WHEN 735 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:39,818 THEY TEACH THEIR KIDS WHAT 736 00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:40,586 HETEROSEXUALITY IS. 737 00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:41,253 ALTHOUGH I COULD BE WRONG. 738 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,187 MAY BE IN THAT GUY'S FAMILY HIS 739 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:43,222 KID ASKS EVERY DAY "WHO ARE YOU 740 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:47,259 PEOPLE LIVING IN MY HOUSE?" 741 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:52,698 IS DAD, THAT LADY IS MOM AND WE 742 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:53,332 ARE. 743 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,433 FRIENDS. 744 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,067 DON'T ASK ME ANY MORE QUESTIONS 745 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:55,667 TILL YOU'RE 18 OR I'LL FUCKING 746 00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:56,068 SUE YOU. 747 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:56,535 IT'S NOT JUST 748 00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:57,169 SEXUALITY IN DESANTIS' 749 00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:57,803 CROSSHAIRS-- HE'S ALSO PASSED 750 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:58,937 AN ACT CALLED THE "STOP WOKE 751 00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:00,272 ACT", WHICH LIMITS THE WAYS 752 00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,440 CONCEPTS RELATED TO SYSTEMIC 753 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,875 RACISM AND SEX DISCRIMINATION 754 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,343 CAN BE DISCUSSED IN SCHOOLS AND 755 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,345 TO HEAR HIM TELL IT, LAWS LIKE 756 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,147 THAT ARE NEEDED, BECAUSE THE 757 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:10,616 WOKENESS IN SCHOOLS GOES DEEPER 758 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,384 THAN ANYONE MIGHT THINK. 759 00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:13,785 I WILL HAVE MATH BOOKS SENT 760 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,854 TO MY DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 761 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,990 FOR REVIEW, THESE TEXTBOOKS, AND 762 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,157 THEY WILL DO THINGS LIKE WOKE 763 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,392 MATH. 764 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:22,661 AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, TWO 765 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,630 PLUS TWO EQUALS FOUR. 766 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,064 IT'S NOT, "TWO PLUS TWO. 767 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,266 WELL, LET'S HAVE A STRUGGLE 768 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,333 SESSION OVER THAT. 769 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,801 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?" NO, 770 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:30,536 NO, NO. 771 00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,538 THERE'S A RIGHT ANSWER HERE. 772 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:33,572 John: I MEAN, OUT OF CONTEXT 773 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,641 HE'S RIGHT. 774 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:37,009 NUMBERS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS. 775 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:37,943 IF THEY DID, THIS ONE WOULD BE 776 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,945 SAD, THIS ONE WOULD BE GIGGLY, 777 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,046 AND THIS ONE WOULD BE EXCITING 778 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:41,914 FOR A FEW MINUTES, BUT THEN THE 779 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:42,748 NOVELTY WEARS OFF AND IT MOSTLY 780 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,017 JUST GETS TIRED AND SORE. 781 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,452 DESANTIS HAS CLAIMED THAT HIS 782 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:48,620 STATE HAD TO REJECT MATH BOOKS 783 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,955 FOR CONTAINING "INDOCTRINATING 784 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:50,689 CONCEPTS LIKE RACE ESSENTIALISM, 785 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:51,924 ESPECIALLY, BIZARRELY, FOR 786 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:56,428 ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS." 787 00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:57,162 NOW, THAT'S A BIG CLAIM. 788 00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:58,196 AND IF IT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT, 789 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:01,600 THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS. 790 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,334 REPORTERS FOR THESE OUTLETS 791 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,368 COMBED THROUGH THOUSANDS OF 792 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,369 PAGES OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 793 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,237 TEXTBOOKS AND THEIR REVIEWS, AND 794 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,573 COULDN'T FIND ANY SUCH EXAMPLES. 795 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:08,941 WHEN THE DESANTIS ADMINISTRATION 796 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,576 EVENTUALLY PRODUCED JUST FOUR 797 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,944 TINY SNIPPETS OF WHAT THEY 798 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,512 CLAIMED WAS OBJECTIONABLE 799 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:16,448 MATERIAL, FROM THE TWO THAT CAME 800 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,883 FROM GRADE SCHOOL BOOKS, THERE'S 801 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,484 NOTHING ABOUT RACE. 802 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,886 ALTHOUGH ONE 803 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:21,720 DOES SUGGEST STUDENTS "PRACTICE 804 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,221 WITH EMPATHIZING WITH 805 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,590 CLASSMATES" WHILE THEY FULFILL A 806 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:25,857 LESSON OBJECTIVE OF "IDENTIFY 807 00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:26,625 NUMBERS FROM 1 TO 5 IN 808 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:27,659 SEQUENCE." 809 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,227 THAT'S IT. 810 00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,963 SO HIS BIG CLAIM OF "WOKE MATH" 811 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,531 AND "RACE ESSENTIALISM" IN GRADE 812 00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:33,999 SCHOOLS IS BASICALLY "REGULAR 813 00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,567 MATH" AND "TRYING TO TEACH KIDS 814 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,669 NOT TO BE DICKS TO EACH OTHER." 815 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:38,604 [LAUGHTER] 816 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:39,805 A KIND OF MATH EDUCATION 817 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,239 DESANTIS MIGHT'VE BENEFITED 818 00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:42,240 FROM, AS HIS SOLUTION TO 819 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:42,941 FIGURING OUT THE DIFFERENCE 820 00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,209 BETWEEN ONE AND THREE QUESTIONS 821 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:45,577 SEEMS TO BE, "YELL UNTIL THE 822 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:49,014 OTHER PERSON STOPS TALKING, "AND 823 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:49,548 [LAUGHTER] 824 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:50,515 [APPLAUSE] 825 00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:52,084 THE MOST RECENT THING YOU MAY'VE 826 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,118 HEARD ABOUT ARE BOOKS BEING 827 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,686 PULLED FROM SHELVES IN FLORIDA 828 00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,688 SCHOOLS, WITH VIRAL IMAGES, LIKE 829 00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:03,528 THESE MAKING THE ROUNDS ONLINE. 830 00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,063 IN CLASSIC FASHION, HE HAS 831 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:07,399 PUSHED BACK ON THOSE IMAGES HARD 832 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,067 TO. 833 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,269 THEY TRIED TO CREATE IN 834 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,604 FLORIDA, NARRATIVE, A BOOK BAND 835 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,573 HOAX-- IT'S A HOAX WHAT THEY 836 00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:14,840 ARE DOING. 837 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,440 AND THEY'RE TRYING TO SAY THAT 838 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,042 BECAUSE WE HAVE PARENTAL RIGHTS 839 00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:17,876 AND BECAUSE WE HAVE CURRICULUM 840 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,311 TRANSPARENCY, IF YOU HAVE A BOOK 841 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,780 THAT HAS HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY 842 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:22,514 AND IT'S IN THE LIBRARY THAT 843 00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:23,749 10-YEAR-OLDS CAN ACCESS, A 844 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,150 PARENT OBJECTS TO THAT, THAT 845 00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,418 DOES NOT SATISFY FLORIDA 846 00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:27,719 STANDARDS, IT SHOULD NOT BE IN 847 00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:28,987 THE LIBRARY WITH THOSE YOUNG 848 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,156 KIDS. 849 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:32,958 AND I THINK 99% OF PARENTS AGREE 850 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,661 WITH THAT. 851 00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:36,395 John: OKAY, FIRST, LET'S 852 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,996 DEBUNK THE MOST EGREGIOUS CLAIM 853 00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:38,563 THERE: 99% OF PARENTS DON'T 854 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:41,233 AGREE ON ANYTHING. 855 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:42,668 I'M SURE YOU CAN 856 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,036 FIND AT LEAST 10% OF PARENTS WHO 857 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,103 ARE AGAINST COVERING ELECTRICAL 858 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:46,571 SOCKETS IN REACH OF TODDLERS. 859 00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:48,240 THEY'RE CALLED "ZAP MOMS" AND 860 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,408 THEY'RE ALL ABOUT LETTING KIDS 861 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:50,342 DISCOVER THEIR OWN LIMITS OF 862 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,711 ELECTRICITY. 863 00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:53,912 BUT I'LL GIVE 864 00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:55,480 DESANTIS THIS-- THERE HAS BEEN 865 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,048 SOME MISINFORMATION FLOATING 866 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,716 AROUND ONLINE. 867 00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:58,850 THIS VIRAL LIST OF BOOKS THAT 868 00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,419 WERE SUPPOSEDLY BANNED STATEWIDE 869 00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:05,023 IN FLORIDA, CIRCULATED WIDELY. 870 00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:08,226 BUT IT'S NONSENSE. 871 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:11,496 HAVING SAID THAT, THOSE IMAGES 872 00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:18,470 OF EMPTY SHELVES ARE VERY REAL 873 00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:19,171 AND ARE DIRECT RESULT OF HIS 874 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:19,404 ACTIONS. 875 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:20,005 BECAUSE HE SIGNED LEGISLATION 876 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:20,572 MANDATING THAT ONLY APPROVED 877 00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:21,173 BOOKS COULD BE INCLUDED IN ANY 878 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:21,807 SCHOOL OR CLASSROOM LIBRARY, AND 879 00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:23,108 THAT APPROVAL MUST COME FROM A 880 00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:23,675 CERTIFIED MEDIA SPECIALIST. 881 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,209 THAT LED SOME DISTRICTS-- 882 00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:24,843 INCLUDING THE ONES THOSE PHOTOS 883 00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:26,311 ARE FROM-- TO TELL TEACHERS TO 884 00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:26,778 REMOVE OR COVER BOOKS. 885 00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:27,679 NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE PUSHING A 886 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,747 FALSE NARRATIVE, BUT BECAUSE 887 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:29,648 THEY WERE TRYING TO COMPLY WITH 888 00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:37,789 DESANTIS' STUPID LAW. 889 00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:38,290 AND WHILE 890 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:38,924 DESANTIS MIGHT SAY, "THIS IS AN 891 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:39,825 OVERREACTION, BECAUSE THOSE 892 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:40,692 BOOKS WILL RETURN ONCE THEY'RE 893 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:41,293 APPROVED," NOT ALL OF THEM. 894 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:42,127 BECAUSE THANKS TO HIS NEW LAW, 895 00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:42,928 AS WELL AS THAT DON'T SAY GAY 896 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:44,196 BILL AND HIS STOP WOKE ACT, 897 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:44,863 HE'S 898 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:45,697 TURBOCHARGED A MOVEMENT AMONG 899 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:46,598 CONSERVATIVES TO GET BOOKS 900 00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,066 REMOVED FROM LIBRARIES THAT THEY 901 00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:49,868 JUST DON'T LIKE. 902 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,369 AND THIS GOES 903 00:22:51,369 --> 00:22:53,405 BEYOND REMOVING "HARDCORE 904 00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:54,740 PORNOGRAPHY" OR THE USUAL KIND 905 00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,942 OF GIVE-AND-TAKE BETWEEN PARENTS 906 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,745 AND SCHOOL BOARDS THAT'S BEEN 907 00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:00,679 GOING ON FOR DECADES NOW. 908 00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,013 WHAT DESANTIS HAS DONE IS MAKE 909 00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:03,515 IT SO ANYONE IN A COMMUNITY CAN 910 00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:04,683 CHALLENGE THESE BOOKS. 911 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:06,184 REPORTERS TRACKED DOWN ONE WOMAN 912 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:07,352 WHO SUBMITTED 21 BOOK CHALLENGES 913 00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:10,255 IN ONE COUNTY, ONLY TO FIND THAT 914 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:11,990 SHE'S A RETIREE WITH NO 915 00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:13,125 CHILDREN, WHO FULLY ADMITS THAT 916 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,292 SHE HASN'T READ ALL OF THEM, BUT 917 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:18,196 "I'VE READ THEM IN PARTIAL." 918 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:19,131 SO BASICALLY, SHE JUST SKIMMED 919 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:19,765 THEM AND SAID "EH, NOBODY SHOULD 920 00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:21,967 READ THIS." 921 00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:23,135 WHICH IS, COINCIDENTALLY, 922 00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,569 EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT RON 923 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:25,604 DESANTIS' BOOK, BUT I'M NOT 924 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:26,605 TRYING TO GET IT TAKEN OUT OF 925 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:29,808 LIBRARIES. 926 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,143 MEANWHILE, THIS TEACHER IN 927 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,611 ESCAMBIA COUNTY, FLORIDA, 928 00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:34,079 CHALLENGED AROUND 115 BOOKS, 929 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,614 AMONG THEM TITLES LIKE "AND 930 00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:36,481 TANGO 931 00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,716 MAKES THREE", A PICTURE BOOK 932 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:38,817 BASED ON THE TRUE STORY OF TWO 933 00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,152 MALE PENGUINS AT THE CENTRAL 934 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,586 PARK ZOO WHO RAISED A BABY CHICK 935 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,655 TOGETHER. 936 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:45,290 APPARENTLY, ONE OF HER 937 00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:46,024 OBJECTIONS TO IT IS THAT A 938 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,225 SECOND GRADER COULD READ IT, 939 00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:49,427 "AND THE IDEA WOULD POP INTO 940 00:23:49,427 --> 00:23:50,462 THEIR MIND THAT THESE ARE TWO 941 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,329 PEOPLE OF THE SAME SEX THAT LOVE 942 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:53,799 EACH OTHER." 943 00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:55,534 AND THE PROBLEM IS, SCHOOLS ARE 944 00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:56,768 ACTING ON THOSE SORTS OF 945 00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:57,869 COMPLAINTS. 946 00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:59,337 THERE WAS A RECENT SCHOOL BOARD 947 00:23:59,337 --> 00:24:00,705 MEETING IN THAT COUNTY, TO 948 00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:02,340 ADDRESS THE CALLS TO BAN THREE 949 00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:04,276 OF THE BOOKS ON THAT TEACHER'S 950 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,544 LIST, INCLUDING THE PENGUIN ONE. 951 00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:07,078 MULTIPLE COMMUNITY MEMBERS CAME 952 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:08,446 TO TESTIFY IN FAVOR OF BANNING 953 00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:09,981 IT AND SOME MADE IT ABUNDANTLY 954 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:11,783 CLEAR EXACTLY WHAT LAW THEY FELT 955 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,019 EMPOWERED THEM. 956 00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:16,221 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN TALK 957 00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:18,957 ABOUT THIS BOOK EXCEPT FOR RIGHT 958 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,525 AND WRONG AS A CLEAR LINE AND 959 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:22,661 IT'S NOT GRAY SO IT IS BLACK AND 960 00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:23,762 WHITE IT'S BLACK AND WHITE WITH 961 00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:27,199 THE LAW WHEN WE TALK ABOUT H1557 962 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:27,899 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT 963 00:24:27,899 --> 00:24:31,436 INDOCTRINATION. 964 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:34,172 AND WHEN YOU LOOK UP THIS BOOK 965 00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:35,607 ON DESTINY DISCOVER ON THE 966 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:38,176 SCHOOLS AND COUNTY WEBSITE THE 967 00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:39,744 BOOK SAYS THIS BOOK IS ABOUT TWO 968 00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:41,913 MALE PENGUINS THAT FALL IN LOVE. 969 00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:45,917 JESUS SAID GO AND SIN NO MORE 970 00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:48,386 SO THIS-- -- THIS IS AGAINST 971 00:24:48,386 --> 00:24:50,755 THE LAW, THANK YOU. 972 00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,123 John: THINK ABOUT THE WORK 973 00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:53,992 HE HAD TO PUT INTO THAT. 974 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,427 THAT MAN HAD TO 975 00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:56,962 SHOWER, PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS, 976 00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:57,963 DECIDE WHAT SHIRT TO WEAR, 977 00:24:57,963 --> 00:24:59,598 CHOOSE THE LIGHT BLUE ONE THAT'S 978 00:24:59,598 --> 00:25:01,132 TWO SIZES TOO BIG, DRIVE TO THE 979 00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:02,167 MEETING, PARK HIS CAR, WALK INTO 980 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:02,968 THE BUILDING, WAIT A WHILE FOR 981 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:04,202 HIS TURN TO SPEAK, ALL SO HE 982 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:05,237 COULD EVENTUALLY STAND BEHIND A 983 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,738 PODIUM AND SAY OUT LOUD, AS AN 984 00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,006 ADULT, THAT HE'S MAD ABOUT GAY 985 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,774 PENGUINS. 986 00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:11,209 YOU ALMOST HAVE TO ADMIRE HIS 987 00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:12,911 DEDICATION TO BEING SUCH A 988 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:15,347 FUCKING IDIOT. 989 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:21,253 BUT THE PROBLEM IS: 990 00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:22,888 THAT FUCKING IDIOT WON. 991 00:25:22,888 --> 00:25:23,521 AT THAT MEETING, 992 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:24,256 THE BOARD VOTED TO AND TANGO 993 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:25,457 MAKES THREE" FROM ITS SCHOOLS. 994 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:26,258 AND WHEN YOU TAKE ALL THIS 995 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,125 BOOKS BEING 996 00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:27,759 REMOVED, THE INANE PROCLAMATIONS 997 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:28,627 TO SHAME TRANS ATHLETES, 998 00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:32,264 SLOPPY ATTEMPTS TO CRIMINALIZE 999 00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:33,098 PROTESTORS, AND YOU COMBINE IT 1000 00:25:33,098 --> 00:25:33,732 WITH EVERYTHING ELSE-- FROM THE 1001 00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:34,499 SUPPORT FOR RESTRICTIVE ABORTION 1002 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:36,201 BANS, TO THE EFFORTS TO STOP 1003 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,569 GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE, IT REALLY 1004 00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:40,305 BEGINS TO FEEL LIKE "THE FREEST 1005 00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:41,306 STATE" IN AMERICA IS ONLY FREE 1006 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,041 TO THE EXTENT ANYONE WANTS TO 1007 00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,409 BEHAVE EXACTLY THE WAY THAT RON 1008 00:25:44,409 --> 00:25:46,411 DESANTIS THINKS THEY SHOULD. 1009 00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:48,046 AND LOOK-- IN THE MONTHS TO 1010 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:49,080 COME, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR A LOT 1011 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,181 OF DESANTIS-VERSUS-TRUMP 1012 00:25:50,181 --> 00:25:52,517 COMPARISONS. 1013 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,386 AND THE TRUTH IS, HE'LL PROBABLY 1014 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:55,687 COME OUT WELL IN A LOT OF THEM, 1015 00:25:55,687 --> 00:25:57,822 MORE OR LESS BY DEFAULT. 1016 00:25:57,822 --> 00:25:59,057 BUT THAT CAN'T BE THE BAR HERE. 1017 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,258 IT'S IMPORTANT TO CONSIDER 1018 00:26:00,258 --> 00:26:00,892 DESANTIS IN HIS OWN RIGHT. 1019 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,928 IF DONALD TRUMP NEVER EXISTED-- 1020 00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:05,797 AND LET'S JUST ALL JUST PAUSE 1021 00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:06,865 AND ENJOY THAT HYPOTHETICAL FOR 1022 00:26:06,865 --> 00:26:12,938 A SECOND-- IF DONALD TRUMP 1023 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:13,605 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1024 00:26:13,605 --> 00:26:14,272 NEVER EXISTED, AND YOU WERE 1025 00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:15,140 FORCED TO LEARN ABOUT RON 1026 00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,041 DESANTIS, FROM SCRATCH, WITH NO 1027 00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:16,808 BASIS FOR COMPARISON, WHAT YOU'D 1028 00:26:16,808 --> 00:26:18,877 SEE WOULD HORRIFY YOU. 1029 00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:20,812 BECAUSE YOU'D BE DISCOVERING A 1030 00:26:20,812 --> 00:26:22,247 PETTY AUTOCRAT AND A BULLY. 1031 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,448 A MAN WITH NO INTEREST IN 1032 00:26:23,448 --> 00:26:24,549 HEARING DISSENT, QUESTIONS, OR 1033 00:26:24,549 --> 00:26:26,384 THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION OF 1034 00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:28,053 "THAI FOOD." 1035 00:26:28,053 --> 00:26:29,988 AND ALL IN ALL, A MAN WHO IS-- 1036 00:26:29,988 --> 00:26:32,123 AND I DO NOT USE THIS TERM 1037 00:26:32,123 --> 00:26:34,926 LIGHTLY-- A FUCKING MEATBALL. 1038 00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:36,861 AND NOW THIS. 1039 00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:39,497 AND NOW. 1040 00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:42,133 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1041 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:43,468 JERRY O'CONNELL'S WIFE IS A 1042 00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:44,736 SCORPIO AND HE NEEDS HELP. 1043 00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:45,370 I HAVE TO TELL YOU I DID NOT 1044 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:46,104 BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY EITHER, 1045 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:46,738 WHEN I SOUGHT I DID NOT BELIEVE 1046 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:48,206 IT AND THEN I MARRIED A SCORPIO. 1047 00:26:48,206 --> 00:26:52,744 IF YOU MARRY A SCORP, DO WHAT 1048 00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:58,049 THEY SAY. 1049 00:26:58,049 --> 00:27:00,085 ALL SCORPIOS DO IS VENT. 1050 00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:00,618 YOU CAN'T EVER GET HER MAD 1051 00:27:00,618 --> 00:27:02,687 BECAUSE MAMA BEAR IS A SCORPIO. 1052 00:27:02,687 --> 00:27:04,055 MY WIFE IS A SCORPIO. 1053 00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:05,557 I CAN TELL WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS 1054 00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:06,391 MARRIED TO ONE, THEY ARE REALLY 1055 00:27:06,391 --> 00:27:07,792 GOOD AT FIGHTING. 1056 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:14,466 I'M MARRIED TO A SCORPIO. 1057 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:16,301 WE ARE ONE DRUNK AND LUNCH AWAY 1058 00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:18,069 FROM BEING THAT'S AT I'M OUT. 1059 00:27:18,069 --> 00:27:19,137 MY WIFE WAS BREASTFEEDING I 1060 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,039 DROP A COUPLE OF BAGS ON THE 1061 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:22,540 FLOOR AND MY WIFE IS A SCORPIO, 1062 00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:25,510 YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT-- 1063 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:28,446 REBECCA IS A SCORPIO. 1064 00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:29,681 JERRY WOULDN'T DO IT. 1065 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:31,816 SOMETIMES MY WIFE IS LIKE 1066 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:36,054 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1067 00:27:36,054 --> 00:27:36,688 YOU ARE MARRIED TO A SCORPIO AS 1068 00:27:36,688 --> 00:27:41,292 WELL? 1069 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:43,261 WE CAN TALK AFTER THE SHOW. 1070 00:27:43,261 --> 00:27:45,630 ♪ ♪ 1071 00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:47,932 [LAUGHTER] 1072 00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:49,734 John: MOVING ON. 1073 00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:50,235 BEFORE WE GO, I WOULD 1074 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:50,869 LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO DISCUSS 1075 00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:51,169 ADVERTISING. 1076 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:51,603 WE'RE ALL CONSTANTLY 1077 00:27:51,603 --> 00:27:52,237 BOMBARDED BY ADS, AND IT CAN BE 1078 00:27:52,237 --> 00:27:53,071 HARD FOR A BRAND TO CUT THROUGH 1079 00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,105 THE NOISE UNLESS THEY'RE USING A 1080 00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:55,373 FLASHY CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT OR 1081 00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:57,675 MAKING A MASSIVE FUCK-UP. 1082 00:27:57,675 --> 00:27:58,977 LIKE WHEN 1083 00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:00,512 VOLKSWAGEN ITALY'S INSTAGRAM 1084 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:01,279 ACCOUNT COMBINED THE WORD 1085 00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:02,614 "VOLKSWAGEN" AND THE WORD 1086 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,149 "ITALIA", TO SPELL SOMETHING 1087 00:28:04,149 --> 00:28:06,618 VERY DIFFERENT. 1088 00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:08,453 IT'S LIKE WHAT OPTIMUS PRIME 1089 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:09,354 LOOKS FOR WITH SAFE SEARCH 1090 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,556 OFF. 1091 00:28:11,556 --> 00:28:13,358 BUT RECENTLY, WE DISCOVERED 1092 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,392 THAT A PLUMBING COMPANY FROM 1093 00:28:14,392 --> 00:28:15,627 AUSTIN, TEXAS HAD MADE A 1094 00:28:15,627 --> 00:28:16,928 COMMERCIAL SO BOLD IT DARED YOU 1095 00:28:16,928 --> 00:28:19,230 NOT TO PAY ATTENTION. 1096 00:28:19,230 --> 00:28:19,864 THERE 1097 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:21,499 WAS A TIME WHERE HOMEOWNERS 1098 00:28:21,499 --> 00:28:22,801 DEALT WITH UNRULY ACS, TOILETS, 1099 00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:24,803 AND WATER HEATERS." 1100 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,571 NO OTHER TEAM COULD HANDLE THE 1101 00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:28,406 FIGHT. 1102 00:28:28,406 --> 00:28:33,344 BUT THERE REMAINED A BEACON OF 1103 00:28:33,344 --> 00:28:34,179 HOPE IN A GROUP OF SUPERHEROES 1104 00:28:34,179 --> 00:28:35,413 JUST ONE CALL AWAY. 1105 00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:41,719 WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE. 1106 00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:47,525 DISPATCH, I'M EN ROUTE. 1107 00:28:47,525 --> 00:28:48,693 JUST CALL RADIANT. 1108 00:28:48,693 --> 00:28:49,828 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1109 00:28:49,828 --> 00:28:51,729 John: YEAH, EXACTLY. 1110 00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:53,231 YEAH, THAT AVENGERS PARODY IS 1111 00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:54,332 AN AD FOR A LOCAL PLUMBING 1112 00:28:54,332 --> 00:28:55,300 COMPANY. 1113 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,135 HONESTLY, I'VE GOT NO NOTES. 1114 00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:59,137 WELL, I DO HAVE ONE: WHO THE 1115 00:28:59,137 --> 00:28:59,938 FUCK IS THE GUY ON THE LEFT 1116 00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:01,706 SUPPOSED TO BE? 1117 00:29:01,706 --> 00:29:02,674 I'M NOT AN AVENGERS BUFF BUT I'M 1118 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:03,842 PRETTY SURE THERE'S NO DOG GUY. 1119 00:29:03,842 --> 00:29:04,576 BUT PLEASE, TELL ME I'M WRONG, 1120 00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,111 INTERNET. 1121 00:29:06,111 --> 00:29:07,545 I'D LOVE TO GET A THOUSAND 1122 00:29:07,545 --> 00:29:09,214 TWEETS ABOUT THIS FROM YOU 1123 00:29:09,214 --> 00:29:10,682 NERDS, "WELL ACTUALLY JOHN IF 1124 00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:12,150 YOU LOOK CLOSELY IN THE AVENGERS 1125 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,352 ISSUE FOUR FIVE SEVEN, THE 1126 00:29:14,352 --> 00:29:15,787 EXISTENCE OF A RADIOACTIVE DOG 1127 00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:18,323 ISN'T OUT OF THE QUESTION." 1128 00:29:18,323 --> 00:29:19,090 TELL ME, PLEASE. 1129 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:19,991 BECAUSE I'M LOOKIN' AT THIS GUY 1130 00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:21,526 AND I'M THINKING THERE'S 1131 00:29:21,526 --> 00:29:22,293 ABSOLUTELY NO RADIOACTI-- OH 1132 00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:22,894 SHIT, THAT'S THE RACCOON ISN'T 1133 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:25,997 IT? 1134 00:29:25,997 --> 00:29:28,466 IT'S THE RACCOON. 1135 00:29:28,466 --> 00:29:29,067 HE'S THE RACCOON WITH A DIRTY 1136 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,435 MOUTH AND A TREE FOR A FRIEND. 1137 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:31,035 IT'S MY MISTAKE I TAKE ALL OF 1138 00:29:31,035 --> 00:29:31,503 THAT BACK. 1139 00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:32,270 AND LOOK: IF ALL THIS COMPANY 1140 00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:33,004 HAD MADE WAS THAT ONE 1141 00:29:33,004 --> 00:29:33,638 MOVIE-THEMED AD, THAT WOULD HAVE 1142 00:29:33,638 --> 00:29:35,206 BEEN ENOUGH. 1143 00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:36,941 BUT IT TURNS OUT, RADIANT 1144 00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:37,976 PLUMBING DOES THIS A LOT. 1145 00:29:37,976 --> 00:29:39,110 BECAUSE LAST YEAR, THEY ALSO 1146 00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:40,378 MANAGED TO TURN A CERTAIN 1147 00:29:40,378 --> 00:29:41,613 TRANSHUMANIST EPIC ABOUT THE 1148 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,580 DANGERS OF MESSIANIC PROPHECIES 1149 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:44,282 INTO AN AD, TOO. 1150 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:48,219 TAKE A LOOK: 1151 00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:49,320 THE PEOPLE ASK US TO BRING 1152 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,956 PEACE TO THE CITY OF AUSTIN. 1153 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:56,794 HOUSE RADIANT ACCEPTS! 1154 00:29:56,794 --> 00:29:59,397 I KNOW YOU. 1155 00:29:59,397 --> 00:30:00,899 THERE'S SOMETHING AWAKENING IN 1156 00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:05,470 YOUR MIND. 1157 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,206 YOU MUST FACE YOUR FEARS. 1158 00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:12,977 COME WITH ME. 1159 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:17,182 YOU NEED TO BE READY. 1160 00:30:17,182 --> 00:30:19,350 [LAUGHTER] 1161 00:30:19,350 --> 00:30:19,884 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1162 00:30:19,884 --> 00:30:20,552 John: HOLY 1163 00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:25,390 SHIT. 1164 00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:27,325 THAT "DUNE" PARODY IS 1165 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,627 INCREDIBLE. 1166 00:30:29,627 --> 00:30:30,261 THE CASTING ALONE! 1167 00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:30,862 LOOK AT THIS GUY. 1168 00:30:30,862 --> 00:30:33,331 HE'S MORE OF A TIMOTHEE CHALAMET 1169 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:34,332 TYPE THAN THE REAL TIMOTHEE 1170 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:35,733 CHALAMET. 1171 00:30:35,733 --> 00:30:36,501 HE'S GOT THAT SIGNATURE CHALAMET 1172 00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:37,168 AIR OF MYSTERY WHERE YOU'RE NOT 1173 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:37,969 SURE IF HE'S ABOUT TO WHITE BOY 1174 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:38,536 RAP AT YOU OR DO WHIP ITS IN 1175 00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:39,204 YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT. 1176 00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:39,871 AND AS FOR ENDING WITH THIS 1177 00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:40,471 GIANT TOILET SANDWORM?! 1178 00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:41,339 "AVATAR WAY OF WET" CAN GO FUCK 1179 00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:42,140 ITSELF, THE OSCAR FOR BEST 1180 00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:42,974 VISUAL EFFECTS GOES TO RADIANT 1181 00:30:42,974 --> 00:30:44,042 PLUMBING. 1182 00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:45,176 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1183 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:46,110 AND THE CHERRY ON TOP OF ALL OF 1184 00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:46,878 THAT IS THE TITLE THEY CHOSE FOR 1185 00:30:46,878 --> 00:30:47,912 IT ON YOUTUBE: 1186 00:30:47,912 --> 00:30:50,148 TOILET DUNE. 1187 00:30:50,148 --> 00:30:50,982 NO NEED TO THINK TOO HARD ON 1188 00:30:50,982 --> 00:30:52,283 IT. 1189 00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:54,018 IT'S TOILET AND IT'S DUNE. 1190 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,821 IT'S TOILET DUNE. 1191 00:30:56,821 --> 00:30:58,356 AND WHEN YOU START DIVING INTO 1192 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,257 RADIANT'S YOUTUBE PAGE, YOU'LL 1193 00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:00,158 QUICKLY DISCOVER JUST HOW 1194 00:31:00,158 --> 00:31:01,659 VERSATILE THEY ARE IN THE MEDIUM 1195 00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:03,061 OF TOILET CINEMA. 1196 00:31:03,061 --> 00:31:04,696 THEY'VE DONE STAR 1197 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:05,730 WARS, IN WHICH R2-D2 IS PLAYED 1198 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:07,365 BY A TOILET. 1199 00:31:07,365 --> 00:31:08,766 THEY'VE DONE A "SCREAM" PARODY 1200 00:31:08,766 --> 00:31:10,034 FOR HALLOWEEN, AND THREE YEARS 1201 00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:10,835 AGO, THEY EVEN ROLLED OUT A 1202 00:31:10,835 --> 00:31:12,237 SERIES OF ADS PARODYING 1203 00:31:12,237 --> 00:31:13,738 "NAPOLEON DYNAMITE", A MOVIE 1204 00:31:13,738 --> 00:31:14,739 THAT WAS, AT THAT POINT, A MERE 1205 00:31:14,739 --> 00:31:17,642 16 YEARS OLD. 1206 00:31:17,642 --> 00:31:18,776 AND I'M NOT EVEN 1207 00:31:18,776 --> 00:31:19,811 GETTING INTO THEIR MOVIE-THEMED 1208 00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:21,045 WINDOW DISPLAYS, WHICH HAVE 1209 00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:23,248 INCLUDED: THE TEENAGE MUTANT 1210 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:25,183 NINJA TOILETS, MARY POOPINS, 1211 00:31:25,183 --> 00:31:26,217 AND, 1212 00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:27,685 IN THE CLEAREST EXAMPLE OF 1213 00:31:27,685 --> 00:31:29,287 "WE'LL ADD TOILET TO ANYTHING" 1214 00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:32,957 - JURASSIC TOILET. 1215 00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:34,125 LOOK: LET ME BE VERY CLEAR AT 1216 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,159 THIS POINT-- I HAVE NO IDEA HOW 1217 00:31:35,159 --> 00:31:40,965 GOOD AT PLUMBING RADIANT 1218 00:31:40,965 --> 00:31:41,666 PLUMBING IS. 1219 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,400 GIVEN HOW MUCH TIME THEY SPEND 1220 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,234 MAKING THESE ADS, THEY COULD 1221 00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:44,002 WELL BE TERRIBLE. 1222 00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:44,702 BUT I COULDN'T CARE 1223 00:31:44,702 --> 00:31:45,470 LESS. 1224 00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:46,204 BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE 1225 00:31:46,204 --> 00:31:47,305 FOR SOME OF MY FAVORITE 1226 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:47,839 COMMERCIALS EVER PRODUCED, 1227 00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:49,274 INCLUDING THIS FINAL ONE I'D 1228 00:31:49,274 --> 00:31:50,508 LIKE TO SHOW YOU, A LOVE LETTER 1229 00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:51,809 TO JAMES CAMERON'S LEAST WET 1230 00:31:51,809 --> 00:31:53,444 FILM, "THE TERMINATOR"-- 1231 00:31:53,444 --> 00:31:54,545 WE MUST DESTROY THE MOTHER 1232 00:31:54,545 --> 00:31:56,080 TOILET. 1233 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,148 WE WILL NOT STAND FOR A TOILET 1234 00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:59,284 TAKEOVER! 1235 00:31:59,284 --> 00:32:00,385 WE'VE GOT BOWEL MOVEMENT. 1236 00:32:00,385 --> 00:32:07,091 TURN ON ALL FREQUENCIES. 1237 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:08,092 ALPHA TEAM, STATUS REPORT. 1238 00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:09,694 I CAN SEE THE MOTHER 1239 00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:10,695 TOILET NOW. 1240 00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:11,596 GO! 1241 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:12,263 NOW! 1242 00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:16,000 THE TOILET HAS TAKEN OVER THE 1243 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,670 SQUAD COMMANDER. 1244 00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:21,739 YOU FORGOT TO WIPE THE SEAT. 1245 00:32:21,739 --> 00:32:22,307 FOR ALL YOUR PLUMBING- 1246 00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:23,007 AC 1247 00:32:23,007 --> 00:32:26,377 AND DRAIN NEEDS- 1248 00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:28,146 JUST CALL RADIANT. 1249 00:32:28,146 --> 00:32:29,147 COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1250 00:32:29,147 --> 00:32:29,914 PICK UP THE PHONE, NOW! 1251 00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:30,548 John: THAT'S JUST VERY GOOD. 1252 00:32:30,548 --> 00:32:31,249 FROM MAKING THE CHOICE THAT 1253 00:32:31,249 --> 00:32:32,250 THERE WILL BE NOT ONE ARNOLD 1254 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:33,151 SCHWARZENEGGER, BUT EIGHT, TO 1255 00:32:33,151 --> 00:32:34,152 GIVING THE EVIL TOILET WHAT I 1256 00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:35,086 CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS 1257 00:32:35,086 --> 00:32:35,820 "DISTURBINGLY HUMAN" 1258 00:32:35,820 --> 00:32:37,455 TEETH. 1259 00:32:37,455 --> 00:32:38,523 HONESTLY, YOU WATCH ENOUGH 1260 00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:39,557 OF THESE, AND YOU BEGIN TO 1261 00:32:39,557 --> 00:32:40,625 WONDER: IS THERE ANY MOVIE THEY 1262 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,126 CAN'T TURN INTO A COMMERCIAL? 1263 00:32:42,126 --> 00:32:43,294 I GUESS, SADLY, THERE'S NO WAY 1264 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:45,530 TO FIND OUT. 1265 00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:47,031 EXCEPT FOR ONE. 1266 00:32:47,031 --> 00:32:48,566 BECAUSE YOU MAY REMEMBER-- A 1267 00:32:48,566 --> 00:32:50,034 FEW YEARS AGO, WE OFFERED LOCAL 1268 00:32:50,034 --> 00:32:51,436 CAR DEALERS THE CHANCE TO FILM A 1269 00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:52,537 COMMERCIAL WE WROTE, WITH THE 1270 00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:53,705 ONLY CATCH BEING THEY COULDN'T 1271 00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:55,139 LOOK AT THE SCRIPT BEFORE 1272 00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:56,307 AGREEING AND ONE DEALERSHIP, 1273 00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:58,009 ZUMBROTA FORD OF MINNESOTA, TOOK 1274 00:32:58,009 --> 00:32:59,577 US UP ON OUR OFFER. 1275 00:32:59,577 --> 00:33:01,212 WELL, I HAVE A SIMILAR 1276 00:33:01,212 --> 00:33:02,080 PROPOSITION TONIGHT, BUT WITH A 1277 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,214 CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE. 1278 00:33:03,214 --> 00:33:06,017 SO PLEASE, COME WITH ME. 1279 00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:07,652 RADIANT PLUMBING. 1280 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,821 LISTEN TO ME VERY CLOSELY, 1281 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,055 BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT 1282 00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:13,157 PROPOSAL FOR YOU. 1283 00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:14,425 UNLIKE THE LAST 1284 00:33:14,425 --> 00:33:15,126 TIME, I HAVEN'T WRITTEN YOU A 1285 00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:16,227 SCRIPT. 1286 00:33:16,227 --> 00:33:17,528 WHY WOULD I, WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY 1287 00:33:17,528 --> 00:33:18,563 SWIMMING IN A VERITABLE TOILET 1288 00:33:18,563 --> 00:33:20,965 BOWL OF IDEAS. 1289 00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:21,766 INSTEAD, IN THIS 1290 00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:22,867 ENVELOPE, I HAVE THE NAME OF A 1291 00:33:22,867 --> 00:33:24,736 FILM. 1292 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:25,536 I WON'T SAY WHICH ONE. 1293 00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:27,038 BUT I WILL SAY THAT IF YOU AGREE 1294 00:33:27,038 --> 00:33:27,939 TO SOME BASIC TERMS AND 1295 00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:28,973 CONDITIONS-- A KEY ONE BEING, 1296 00:33:28,973 --> 00:33:30,074 THAT YOU AGREE TO MAKE YOUR NEXT 1297 00:33:30,074 --> 00:33:31,676 MOVIE COMMERCIAL INSPIRED BY THE 1298 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:33,044 FILM IN THIS ENVELOPE, SIGHT 1299 00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:35,613 UNSEEN-- WE WILL DEBUT YOUR AD 1300 00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:37,482 ON THIS SHOW TO MILLIONS OF 1301 00:33:37,482 --> 00:33:38,383 PEOPLE, AND GIVE A $10,000 1302 00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:39,417 DONATION TO THE CENTRAL TEXAS 1303 00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:40,852 FOOD BANK. 1304 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:42,220 NOW, THE MOVIE IN HERE COULD BE 1305 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:44,555 IN YOUR WHEELHOUSE, LIKE AN 1306 00:33:44,555 --> 00:33:45,757 ACTION FILM, OR COSTUME HEAVY 1307 00:33:45,757 --> 00:33:47,525 HORROR. 1308 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:49,360 OR IT COULD BE SOMETHING ELSE. 1309 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,028 SO IT IS A RISK. 1310 00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,363 BUT AS YOU MIGHT SAY, "WITH 1311 00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:55,867 GREAT RISK COMES GREAT TOILET." 1312 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:57,535 SO PLEASE-- GET IN TOUCH, AND 1313 00:33:57,535 --> 00:33:59,370 LET'S MAKE MOVIE MAGIC TOGETHER! 1314 00:33:59,370 --> 00:34:01,539 YOU HAVE ONE WEEK TO REPLY! 1315 00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:02,607 THAT'S OUR SHOW, THANKS SO MUCH 1316 00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:03,841 FOR WATCHING, WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT 1317 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:05,710 WEEK, GOOD NIGHT! 1318 00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:09,380 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1319 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:14,719 CALL US! 1320 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,421 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1321 00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:20,224 ♪ ♪ 1322 00:34:20,224 --> 00:34:23,728 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1323 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:24,796 ♪ ♪