1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:07,758 cthundering' (bats squeaking) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,641 (embers crackling) 5 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,191 (fireworks booming) 6 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:35,202 (mystical music) 7 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,715 (techno music) 8 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,463 (coughing) 9 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,384 - Okay, what the fuck is going on? 10 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,511 Who are you people? 11 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,763 Why are you covered in blood? 12 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,556 Why do you have my gun? 13 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,267 Why does my neck hurt, who tased me? 14 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,853 Kris, I fuckin' knew you killed that kid. 15 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,313 I knew you were crazy like that. 16 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,023 I need answers and I need 'em now! 17 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,609 - Shut the fuck up, sit down and listen! 18 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,947 (squealing) 19 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:39,159 - Oh, mV God, did Vou see the look on Santa's face? 20 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,370 I do think we made Santa's naughty list. 21 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,289 - That's because Vour guys' outfits are amazing. 22 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,291 - [Sadie1 I should send this Santa picture to Brian. 23 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,584 - No, don't even think about it! 24 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,044 That ass clown hasn't called you in weeks! 25 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,087 - We're so putting these up on our 26 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,672 fucking website for the world to see. 27 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,299 - OkaV, so I got the box, Dahlia you got the wreath. 28 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,384 What'd you get, Alexi? 29 00:02:56,510 --> 00:03:01,682 - I totallV chickened out, but I bought green nail polish. 30 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,641 - Boring! 31 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,142 Why are you the enemy of fun? 32 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,894 I should just take all of your Christmas presents 33 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,896 and return them and wrap you some coal instead. 34 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,774 - You know better than to mess with me on Christmas. 35 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,608 - Oh, wait a sec. 36 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,820 Um, is tomorrow the holidaV you've been talking about 37 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,947 every fucking day since Thanksgiving? 38 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,116 - Sure, tease me and then leave me. 39 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,867 It's bad enough that I have to go to work right now. 40 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:21,743 - Work? 41 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,161 - Somebody's gotta pay the rent, 42 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,913 unless your dad wants to cover me? 43 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,207 - Well, what if I told you rent was covered? 44 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,959 - And so's your shift. 45 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,168 - What? 46 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,086 - The only puppies you're gonna 47 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,255 have to worry about today are these. 48 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,756 You're coming with us on an adventure. 49 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,590 Alright? 50 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,508 Merry Christmas, bitch! 51 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,094 - You're crazy, you know that? 52 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,264 - Correction, we're fucking crazy! 53 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,516 (whooping) 54 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,852 (whooshing) 55 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:54,443 - Hello, devoted fans, Sadie here and Dahlia. 56 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,696 - With our dear friend, Alexi. 57 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:58,530 - Hello! 58 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,449 - It's Christmas fucking Eve and we're 59 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,451 on our waV to what might be the most exciting 60 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,619 urban exploring adventure in history. 61 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,789 - So be sure to log on tomorrow for the full official video. 62 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,751 - And Vou never know what dirty things will come your way. 63 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,211 (whooshing) 64 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,797 (techno music) 65 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,770 - Wow, it's so loud in here I can barely hear myself think. 66 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,275 - [Sadie] That's the point 67 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,029 - [Sadie] There you go. 68 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,989 - What is it Vou guVs do exactly when you're out there? 69 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,200 - You're telling me you've never seen a single 70 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,076 one of the Adventure Girls video casts? 71 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,121 - I did once, yeah. 72 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,665 - Okay, then, which adventure was it? 73 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,418 - Uh, it was um, it was the factory one. 74 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,755 Abandoned water park? 75 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,923 I know, I'm a terrible friend. 76 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,257 I haven't watched any of them. 77 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,091 What do you guys do? 78 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,718 Well, I know you go break into weird 79 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,720 places and you film yourselves. 80 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,933 But what is it that urban explorers actually do? 81 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,893 - I mean, we just go to awesome places, 82 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,394 people don't dare go to. 83 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,355 - And film ourselves running around. 84 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,315 - And then there's the treasures. 85 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,902 - Yeah, we collect one keepsake from each place we explore. 86 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,988 - Oh, so it's kind of like, um, stealing? 87 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,032 - It's not stealing if it doesn't belong to anyone. 88 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,826 These places have been closed forever. 89 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,703 I hope Santa Land has some amazing swag! 90 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,080 - So, while you guys are doing all 91 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,082 that awesome stuff, what am I gonna do? 92 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,292 - Have the best fucking Christmas ever! 93 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,126 Woo! 94 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,467 This will have to do, I have to fucking pee. 95 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,387 (tires screeching) 96 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,564 - Well, it's 12:03, I guess it's 97 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,482 socially acceptable to start drinking. 98 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,238 - Classy joint! 99 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,211 Hi, Merry Christmas! 100 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,338 - Oh, fuck Christmas! 101 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,423 Isn't that right, Cherry? 102 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,924 - You heard him, girls. 103 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,801 Fuck Christmas! 104 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:25,635 - What? 105 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:26,887 Christmas is awesome! 106 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,766 (stomping) 107 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,649 - What'll it be? 108 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,569 (glass shattering) 109 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,198 - Merry Christmas, bitches! 110 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,033 - Oh, shit. 111 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,743 - Come on, all this shit you just 112 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,162 buy into with Christmas, it's just that. 113 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,747 It's bullshit! 114 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,709 - This how Vou welcome out-of-towners, Cherry? 115 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,669 Can't be good for business. 116 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:00,503 - You know what? 117 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,630 I think we better just go. 118 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,924 - Oh no, you're staying here now, honey. 119 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,675 Looks like you just made a friend. 120 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,761 You joining 'em for drinks, Sean? 121 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,970 - I'm on the clock. 122 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:09,888 Where's Jerry? 123 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,683 For Christ's sake, Jerry! 124 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,560 You've got to be kidding me! 125 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,563 JerrV, Vou know Vour parole officer said no costumes! 126 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,689 What is this? 127 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,068 - So what'll it be, girls? 128 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,988 - Um, I think I'll have an eggnog, please. 129 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,165 - [Cherry] Oh, yeah! 130 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:39,960 - You know what? 131 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,461 I think we're just gonna down these 132 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,337 and get the hell out of here, okay? 133 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,298 - Man, I didn't touch any fucking kids! 134 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,758 - I know, I know, okay. 135 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,593 TheV just want me to take you in for some questioning. 136 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,136 Now, are you gonna cooperate or are 137 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,596 you gonna give me a hard time? 138 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,516 - HeV, he's been drunk in my bar for two days. 139 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,727 OnlV gets up to make a mess in the bathroom. 140 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:58,812 - Some shit's been going down, 141 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,272 so we're asking the usual suspects. 142 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,649 Pedophiles and such. 143 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,025 - I'm right fucking here, man! 144 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,694 - Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry. 145 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,987 Sex offenders. 146 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,573 - Don't chase him out, it's my one customer. 147 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,741 That tips! 148 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,036 (blowing) 149 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,708 - I'm sorry to butt in, 150 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,043 but you said some shit was going down. 151 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,294 Anything interesting? 152 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,424 - Uh, yeah, just some bear attacks 153 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,010 and some odd things around town. 154 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,345 - Ooh, bears, production value? 155 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,182 - Honestly, odd isn't the right word. 156 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,144 Look, I don't mean to cause an alarm or anything, 157 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,522 but some kids have been murdered. 158 00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,857 - [Sadie] Oh, my goodness! 159 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,193 - Hey, are you a ranger or a cop? 160 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:51,114 - Well, Veah, I'm no cop, but uh, I am packing. 161 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,037 - Shouldn't Vou be chasing forest fires, not felons? 162 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:57,954 - Dahlia, shut up. 163 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,416 - AnVwaV, with everVthing going on around town 164 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,876 and it being Christmas and all, 165 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,753 the police station's a little understaffed 166 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,422 and I know this forest like the back of my hand. 167 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,923 - Sorry, we didn't mean to waste your time 168 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,092 or ask you all those silly questions. 169 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,427 - No bother, ladies. 170 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,345 I'd rather talk to Vou than hunt down bears, 171 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,681 but if Vou need anVthing when you're in town 172 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,851 or see anVthing suspicious, don't hesitate to call me. 173 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,733 - Ooh, call me! 174 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,734 - Shut up! 175 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:28,735 (laughs) 176 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,488 - Okay, but seriously, kids murdered? 177 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,448 Maybe we should leave. 178 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,075 - Oh no, no, no, no, I missed work for this. 179 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,535 We are going on mV first Adventure Girls mission. 180 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:39,871 Cheers. 181 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,166 - Hey, yes! 182 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,959 That one is on me! 183 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,920 Now, 20 bucks for the rest. 184 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,174 (tires screeching) 185 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,843 (ominous music) 186 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,653 - It's not as Christmassy as I expected. 187 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,614 Looks creepy, though. 188 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,366 - Well, let's get started. 189 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,327 (laughs) 190 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,089 (creepy music) 191 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,643 - So Vou readV for Vour first big adventure? 192 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,229 - As ready as I'll ever be, yes! 193 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,689 - [Sadie] Wait, hold up, soldier! 194 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,523 - What? 195 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,983 We're gonna do this, right? 196 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:52,944 - Oh Veah, we're gonna do this, but you're not ready yet. 197 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,404 - Shut up, of course, I am. 198 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,363 I'm gonna have fun, come on! 199 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,241 - You're not ready yet, until... 200 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,873 You put on your Christmas uniform! 201 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,332 - Oh, my God! 202 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,378 This is kind of hot looking, but yeah, okay, okay. 203 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,422 - Yeah, it's better than being an elf. 204 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,509 - I think it's cute. 205 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,889 (techno music) 206 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,723 - Yellow? 207 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,606 White and purple? 208 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,071 - I like the blue one best. 209 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,907 - I think you're right, blue. 210 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,789 - Sadie, our little snowflake is gonna have a meltdown 211 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,334 when she sees what's inside Santa Land. 212 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,168 (gasping) 213 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,629 And, what do you think of my hot elfness? 214 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,547 Tomorrow when you go online to see 215 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,381 the full length video don't forget 216 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,759 to check out our pics and like them if you do. 217 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,677 And, I hope you do. 218 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,511 Later! 219 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,389 Did I get it right this time? 220 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,724 - Yeah, you're a natural. 221 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,726 (ominous music) 222 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,187 MaVbe I should call Brian and let him know where we are. 223 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,021 - [Dahlia And Alexi] No! 224 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,069 - It's Christmas Eve, what if he 225 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,195 tries to get in touch with me? 226 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,279 - He hasn't called you in forever. 227 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,781 Why would you call him now? 228 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:20,865 He doesn't deserve you! 229 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,699 - But... 230 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,243 - Ho, ho, ho, let's go! 231 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,671 (thudding) 232 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,302 - Awesome! 233 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,887 Merry fucking Christmas! 234 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:43,846 Wow. 235 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,265 - You know, I thought this place would be 236 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,225 a lot more old and decrepit looking for 237 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,227 the amount of years it's been abandoned. 238 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,231 Don't get me wrong, I still wanna check it out. 239 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,233 - Don't run, you can't outrun it. 240 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,610 If it's too late to back away, grab a weapon, 241 00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,028 any weapon, to protect yourself. 242 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,699 If without weapons or pepper spray, curl up and play dead. 243 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,784 Just reading off things to do in case of a bear attack. 244 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,411 - Is that your idea of fun, 245 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,704 trying to scare the crap out of us? 246 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,789 - I am just being the voice of reason. 247 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,877 - Meet my taser, my voice of reason. 248 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,879 - On that note, I think we're ready. 249 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,429 (ominous music) 250 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,014 - Whoo! 251 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,849 Welcome to Santa Land! 252 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:32,395 (rock ''Jingle Bells'' music) 253 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:43,114 - Cool, the most magical Christmas Eve land of all. 254 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,076 And the Adventure Girls are gonna explore it! 255 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,293 - Dahlia, go Dahlia! 256 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,629 (grunting) 257 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,801 - You're not gonna make it on heels. 258 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:08,848 - Oh wait, watch out, watch out. 259 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,820 - What do I know about Santa Land? 260 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,113 - [Sadie1 Yeah, tell me something about it. 261 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,407 - Well, it's been closed for 20 years. 262 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,576 I heard kids died here. 263 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,535 The only people that come here now 264 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,204 are crack heads and meth heads. 265 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,538 - Oh, my God, what's this? 266 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,790 Oh, awesome! 267 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:38,002 I wanna eat this mushroom and then get twice as big. 268 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,880 - Don't let me fall. 269 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,091 Let's go find something else. 270 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009 - Oh, my God, you guys! 271 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,761 (chattering) 272 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,429 Would you like some tea? 273 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,142 (laughing) 274 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,985 - Someone's gotta tell her to stop humping things. 275 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:03,903 It's not sexy. 276 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,156 (banging) 277 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,158 - Oh no, I'm a naughty girl! 278 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,410 - Don't try this at home. 279 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,958 (techno ''Nutcracker'' music) 280 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,256 - Hello? 281 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,843 Any bears in here? 282 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,136 Werewolves? 283 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,096 Unicorns? 284 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:14,765 Al Qaeda? 285 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,395 No, but other things live in 286 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,731 the forest like birds and squirrels. 287 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,527 And bears, child-eating bears. 288 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:35,369 (branches cracking) 289 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,250 Okay. 290 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,920 (ominous music) 291 00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,390 (humming) 292 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,522 - [Sadie] Welcome to candy cane land! 293 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,818 - Don't you feel like we're being watched? 294 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,653 - Are we? 295 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,113 Yeah, I kind of do feel like I'm being watched. 296 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,240 (banjo music) 297 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,699 Is that your new ringtone, sicko? 298 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,368 - Yes. - Oh, my God! 299 00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:16,994 We'll see who's laughing when you're 300 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,080 hog-tied and squealing for my help. 301 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,998 Ooh, you got a purdy mouth! 302 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,417 - Stop it, Vou're gonna fuck up my makeup, geez! 303 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,672 (ominous music) 304 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,804 - At this point I don't think it makes any difference. 305 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:36,889 - I found Jerry. 306 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,476 He was getting wasted at Cherry's just like Sean said. 307 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:44,438 - Neil, what the hell are you doing? 308 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,024 There is no waV in hell that this guy could have done it! 309 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,734 Now, cut him loose! 310 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,696 - Come on, Jerry. 311 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,780 Sorry about this. 312 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,824 - Merry Christmas. 313 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:55,658 - Get out of here. 314 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,867 - Fuck you, Jerry. 315 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,119 - [Neil] See you at poker. 316 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,625 (sighs) 317 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,419 - [Bruce] What is it? 318 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,462 - I was just thinking about the Bernards. 319 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,299 I mean, seeing her lying there like that, 320 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,176 in all that blood with her heart ripped out. 321 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,762 (techno music) 322 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,559 It was-- 323 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,393 - [Bruce] Disgusting. 324 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,227 - It was gross. 325 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,398 What kind of monster could do something like that? 326 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,650 - Officer Green seems to think it was a bear. 327 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,238 - A bear with a lot of anger. 328 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,449 A lot of hurt feelings. 329 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,162 - You know, Neil, I'm a little worried about you. 330 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,372 You hang in there, kid. 331 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,790 - Alright, good luck. 332 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,543 - [Bruce] Be back in a couple hours. 333 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,257 (ominous music) 334 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,360 - Ugh, looks like someone got slaughtered here. 335 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,905 I am dreaming! 336 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,531 - [Sadie] It's perfect! 337 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,325 - [Alexi] What, I can't see anything. 338 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,744 - Our treasures, they're inside. 339 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,205 (grunting) 340 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,039 (gasps) 341 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,165 Jackpot! 342 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,251 Oh, I want this one! 343 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,086 - Look! 344 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,464 Here's your first treasure, Alexi. 345 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,674 - Um, that's okay? 346 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,050 - You're saving it from a bulldozer 347 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,927 in a few months, of course, it's okay. 348 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,181 - Hey Adventure Girl people, fans! 349 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,724 - Hey guys, look, we got our shit. 350 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,477 We gotta get the fuck out of here before our luck runs out. 351 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,980 - Wait, hey guys, we didn't go there yet. 352 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,279 (mysterious music) 353 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,709 (sighs) 354 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,176 Okay, point taken and rejected. 355 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,388 (laughs) 356 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,811 (door creaking and slamming) 357 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:34,150 (mysterious music) 358 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,033 (growling) 359 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:58,549 Oh, look! (laughs) 360 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,351 - [Dahlia] Whoa. 361 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,694 - Ha, I dare you to eat this. 362 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,112 - Oh no, that's gross. 363 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,073 - Come on, your audience awaits. 364 00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:29,538 I dare you! 365 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,373 - I don't think so, it's nasty. 366 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,792 - [Sadie] Nom, nom, nom. 367 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,626 - Uh-uh. 368 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,044 - What happened here? 369 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,713 - Ugh, a fucked up ice orgy? 370 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,924 - Oh, that's a good name for a band. 371 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,175 Oh! 372 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,927 (growling) 373 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,720 (all gasping) 374 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,805 - What is it? 375 00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,110 (plopping) 376 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,040 (cell phone ringing) 377 00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:16,126 Croaring) (screaming) 378 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:19,004 (dramatic music) 379 00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:21,841 (roaring) 380 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:24,176 (screaming) 381 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,306 (banging) 382 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,852 (roaring) 383 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,653 - [Santa] Krampus! 384 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,408 - What the fuck is it? 385 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,910 - Get the hell outta here now! 386 00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:58,460 (country music) 387 00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,295 - Fuck! 388 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:04,717 - (choking) In the cottage, now! 389 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:09,305 (grunting) 390 00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:13,017 - What the hell do we do now? 391 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,351 Good idea, call 91 1! 392 00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,146 - It's me. 393 00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:18,772 - What, what does she mean it's me? 394 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:19,607 Who the hell are you calling? 395 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483 - [Sadie] Brian, we're in danger! 396 00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,318 - Brian? 397 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,152 Gimme that! - No! 398 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,409 (telephone ringing) 399 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:31,243 - Hello? 400 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,037 He hung up. 401 00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:35,372 It's been like this all day. 402 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,540 - Get out of-- 403 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,711 91 1, what's your emergency? 404 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,796 - Hi, yeah, I think we're being attacked! 405 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,300 - Oh God, another one. 406 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:49,595 Okay, stay calm. 407 00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:51,180 Where are you located? 408 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,139 - Santa Land. 409 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:58,103 - Santa Land, off the S6, but that was shut down years ago. 410 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,105 - Yes, yes, that one. 411 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,358 (growling) 412 00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,819 - Alright, and who's attacking you? 413 00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:11,367 - I don't know, some big, hairy thing! 414 00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,619 (growling) 415 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,540 A bear or something! 416 00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:21,961 And a man, I think he's the owner. 417 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,337 - Let me get this straight. 418 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:27,716 You're in Santa Land, so you are trespassing. 419 00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,386 - No, no, we're just-- 420 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:32,930 - [Sadie] I smell gingerbread! 421 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,056 - Hurry! 422 00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,641 - Is this some kind of practical joke? 423 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:36,934 - No, no, we're-- 424 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:40,354 - Is anVbodV actuallV injured or in danger? 425 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,981 - No, we're fine! 426 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,858 But that is onlV because we're barricaded in his cottage! 427 00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,029 - A bear sent you into his cottage? 428 00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,115 Listen, who do you think you are? 429 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,951 You're trVing to pull some kind of shit on me 430 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,869 and Vou should be ashamed of yourself, okay, 431 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:59,081 because tonight it's Jesus' birthday, so goodbye! 432 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,833 (phone clicking) 433 00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:01,667 - Asshole! 434 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,711 Hung up on me! 435 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:06,714 Oh, we're fucking fucked. 436 00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:07,756 We're fucking fucked. 437 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,930 (growling) 438 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:15,973 (banging door) 439 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,308 (screaming) 440 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,146 - Sadie, help us! 441 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:31,155 - Now, let's try to arm ourselves, okay? 442 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:31,989 - Yeah. 443 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:32,823 - Okay. 444 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,785 (cell phone dialing) 445 00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,662 - Hi, please don't hang up! 446 00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:41,790 Okay, we're trapped inside Santa Land. 447 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:45,544 Our van got towed and we have no way of getting out of here! 448 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,214 - This is 91 1, not a car service. 449 00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:54,428 - Why do they keep doing that? 450 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,647 (roof creaking) 451 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,816 (gasping) 452 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:11,195 (clomping) 453 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:20,996 (whooshing) 454 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:29,963 (screaming) 455 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,217 (punching) 456 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,052 - Stop it, now! 457 00:26:35,094 --> 00:26:36,970 Come on, would you stop it now? 458 00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:37,805 Stop it. 459 00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:40,808 (yelling) 460 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:41,934 (punching) 461 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:42,851 Ow! 462 00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:44,937 - What are you gonna do you fat fuck, huh? 463 00:26:44,978 --> 00:26:46,563 - I'm not fat, you're fat. 464 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,233 (girls yelling) 465 00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:56,782 Czapping) (thudding) 466 00:27:01,537 --> 00:27:03,372 Now, that's enough! 467 00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,206 Sit. 468 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:13,715 That should keep him out for now. 469 00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:14,925 - What the hell was that? 470 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,177 - You know, I'm verV disappointed in you girls. 471 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:19,429 All of you have been very naughty. 472 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,390 You've been trespassing on my property 473 00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,975 and you're fucking my shit up! 474 00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,643 - That's our motto! 475 00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,729 - We weren't trespassing on your property, 476 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,231 we were just exploring. 477 00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:31,066 - Oh, enough of this bullshit, I don't care. 478 00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,443 You guys gotta get out of here. 479 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:36,738 Go into town, take mV bike, and get your van. 480 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:37,698 - Fuck that! 481 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,032 There's some Bigfoot out there 482 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,784 and we're not calling the police? 483 00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,911 - Yeah, forget it, I'm calling Sean. 484 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,583 - This is not for the police. 485 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,961 - Hillbillies are crazy! 486 00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,046 - I'm not a hillbilly, you're a hillbilly. 487 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:55,883 - I don't know who's crazier, 488 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:58,302 this magician, or that wildebeest. 489 00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:01,847 But, I am reporting Vour ass to the ASPCA, just so you know. 490 00:28:01,889 --> 00:28:04,266 - OkaV, hold on, just hold on for a second. 491 00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:07,102 I need to explain. 492 00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:14,193 I don't know how to say this. 493 00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:16,111 I never thought I'd have to say this. 494 00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,280 - Spit it out, already! 495 00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,531 - Would you listen! 496 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,159 This is my property 497 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:25,621 and I'm Santa. 498 00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,416 Hence, Santa Land. 499 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:34,046 I'm the real fucking deal, Santa. 500 00:28:34,087 --> 00:28:37,758 And that thing out there, that is no animal. 501 00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:41,261 That's Krampus. 502 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:46,767 Krampus? 503 00:28:48,602 --> 00:28:49,394 Krampus. 504 00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:51,188 Krampus! 505 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:55,567 Oh, goddamn it, I'm Santa and that's Krampus! 506 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,944 The devil of Christmas! 507 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:02,866 Krampus! 508 00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:09,790 - And I'm the fucking tooth fairy. 509 00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:11,667 - Oh yeah, that's really adorable. 510 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,752 Oh, if you only knew. 511 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:16,004 (grunting) 512 00:29:20,801 --> 00:29:21,927 Want a cookie? 513 00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,350 (telephone ringing) 514 00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:29,476 - [Bruce] Come on! 515 00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:30,894 - 911, what's your emergency? 516 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,063 Where? 517 00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:35,065 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 518 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,024 - [Bruce] Come on. 519 00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,484 - You've gotta speak slower I can't-- 520 00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:41,655 Where did Vou find the body? - Sit down, sit down! 521 00:29:41,697 --> 00:29:43,740 - Another damn body, Bruce! 522 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,576 Missing kids, prank calls! 523 00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:48,787 I just can't take this anymore. (crying) 524 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,665 Yes, honey, I'm here, I'm still here. 525 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,500 We'll send Vou somebody-- - Son of a bitch! 526 00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,211 - [Operator1 Right awaV, just give us the address. 527 00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:59,006 (dramatic music) 528 00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:06,221 (growling) 529 00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:19,818 Csquishing) (slurping) 530 00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,845 (dripping) 531 00:31:26,051 --> 00:31:28,261 (whistles) 532 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,184 - Oh, he's a beast, alright. 533 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,354 If you only knew. 534 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,731 He's also part man and part devil. 535 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:42,776 Krampus is a killer! 536 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,987 He's also my fucking partner. 537 00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:47,697 - Can Santa say fuck? 538 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,908 - No, that is what redneck freaks say before 539 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,619 they hang you on meat hooks as decoration. 540 00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:56,748 Okay, Santa Claus, we're gonna leave you 541 00:31:56,790 --> 00:31:58,542 and your killer Wookiee here alone 542 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,836 and we're gonna get the hell out of here. 543 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:04,631 - Alexi, did Vou not see that little spectacle over there? 544 00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:07,217 Did you not see my magic cane? 545 00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,679 - Santa doesn't walk around with a cane. 546 00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:14,266 - The cane comes with me, not that your folklore 547 00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:18,145 ever covers that because no one's ever seen me in action. 548 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:19,396 - Did you just call me Alexi? 549 00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:24,401 - Yes, Vou are Alexi and Vou are Dahlia and you are Sadie. 550 00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,867 - He's some stalker fan, I knew it. 551 00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,411 - Wait, have Vou been creeping on us this whole time? 552 00:32:34,453 --> 00:32:36,496 - Ever since you were born. 553 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:37,414 - [Sadie] Gross! 554 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,375 - Oh, come on stop it, you're wasting my time! 555 00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:42,711 I've been in all your houses at Christmas! 556 00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:47,632 What is it gonna take, huh, for you to believe me? 557 00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:50,385 Do I have to take flight, presents magically appear? 558 00:32:50,427 --> 00:32:52,012 What do you want, what do you want? 559 00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:52,846 What do you want? 560 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:57,434 - Well, if Vou're reallV Santa you'd know what I want. 561 00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:00,061 - (sighs) Fine! 562 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:02,230 (zapping) 563 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:04,483 - Oh, my God, yay! 564 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,491 (dramatic music) 565 00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:33,512 Croaring) (screaming) 566 00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,140 - So. 567 00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:40,977 (camera beeping) 568 00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,690 Santa, how do you fit down the chimney? 569 00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:48,777 - Magic, of course. 570 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:52,864 Krampus also uses the chimney, 571 00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:54,866 that's why I blocked mine just in case. 572 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,536 Ha, ha, I know what you're thinking. 573 00:33:57,577 --> 00:34:00,455 What about the houses without chimneys? 574 00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:02,666 I've got other ways of getting in. 575 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,960 I'm telling you not everyone is 576 00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,088 so pleased to see me pay a visit. 577 00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:10,006 Here, look at this. 578 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:10,840 (girls gasping) 579 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:11,675 Yeah. 580 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,176 - [Dahlia] Nice! 581 00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:14,177 - How do you get to everybody 582 00:34:14,219 --> 00:34:16,763 in the world in just one night? 583 00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:18,431 - More magic. 584 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,559 You see, he only gets the bad ones. 585 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,520 And I'm talking, the really bad children. 586 00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:27,607 - How do you make those reindeer fly? 587 00:34:27,649 --> 00:34:29,192 - (sighs) Magic! 588 00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,029 - Wait a second! 589 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,031 Where are your reindeer? 590 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:37,951 And where's Mrs. Claus and where are your elves? 591 00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,579 - WhV don't Vou tell me how you walk in those heels? 592 00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:43,957 - Magic. 593 00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:45,083 - Right. 594 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,502 See now that's all Vou reallV need to know about that. 595 00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:48,753 - Yeah, yeah, we get it. 596 00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:50,547 He's bad news, ooh! 597 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:02,976 - My personal story is just not as 598 00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:05,186 charming as the one that you know of. 599 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:11,026 (whooshing) 600 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:17,157 There's no such thing as a naughty or nice list. 601 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:22,746 I bring Vou presents, but Krampus shreds your ass. 602 00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:26,458 (siren blaring) 603 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,420 In the '40s your culture banned Krampus. 604 00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,840 God forbid they should scare a 605 00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:36,092 little morality into the children. 606 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:39,054 Krampus was out of the picture in society's eyes. 607 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:43,642 And Vou know, quite honestlV, they didn't need me anymore. 608 00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:46,102 Toys were made in factories. 609 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:50,398 Presents bought, Santa's sit on their fat asses in malls. 610 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:54,277 A tough decision, but I wasn't needed anymore. 611 00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:59,115 So I started this place so that I could see 612 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:01,701 the joy in the children's eyes once again. 613 00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:03,745 I had very high hopes for it, but... 614 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,164 I've been fighting a losing battle 615 00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,957 to hold on to this land mainly because 616 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,043 I've got Krampus frozen out there. 617 00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:12,837 Had, had Krampus frozen out there. 618 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,299 (whooshing) 619 00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:22,180 Now, you can take Santa out of Christmas, 620 00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,518 but Vou can't take the Christmas out of Santa. 621 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:32,941 I don't know. 622 00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:36,361 Well, I got him without his magic switch 623 00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:39,322 and I put him on ice and I left 624 00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:41,408 the North Pole and I never looked behind. 625 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,706 He's my responsibility. 626 00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:51,084 More like my curse. 627 00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:53,920 I don't know how he got his switch 628 00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:55,964 or how he got out of that ice, 629 00:36:56,005 --> 00:36:58,717 but one thing's for sure; Krampus is out of retirement. 630 00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:04,305 (dramatic music) 631 00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:10,186 (telephone ringing) 632 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:12,147 - 911, what's your emergency? 633 00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:14,816 Okay, calm down. 634 00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:15,775 Are they breathing? 635 00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,278 Mutilated? 636 00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:20,822 The kids, too? 637 00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:27,370 Bruce, they found more kids, dead. 638 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:30,623 I mean really, really, really dead. 639 00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,209 (techno music) 640 00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:37,964 - Damn it! 641 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,884 The team's tied up on Lake Drive. 642 00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:43,887 Dispatch Officer Green and Sean. 643 00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:58,234 - Come on, everybody. 644 00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,068 Come on, think. 645 00:37:59,110 --> 00:37:59,903 Come on, think, think! 646 00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:01,362 We need to come up with a plan here. 647 00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:02,197 - Yeah, I've got one! 648 00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:03,239 How about we go to the police and tell 649 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,949 them about your fucking boyfriend? 650 00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,743 - No, you can't do that! 651 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:09,662 What are Vou gonna do, tell them I'm Santa Claus? 652 00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:12,707 No, no, plus theV'll kill Krampus on sight. 653 00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:15,877 I can't have that, he cannot be killed. 654 00:38:15,919 --> 00:38:16,711 - What? 655 00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:17,587 - I can't have that. 656 00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:21,591 (stammering) 657 00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,595 Krampus cannot be killed! 658 00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,513 We're connected... 659 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,767 It's just, it would just be very bad, very bad. 660 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,477 - Yeah, well, I think human lives are a little bit 661 00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:33,937 more important than blowing your cover. 662 00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,689 - You'll just have to trust me, there's more at stake here. 663 00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,193 After being trapped all of these years 664 00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,362 I can just imagine how hungry he is. 665 00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,573 - Well, what does he eat? 666 00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,575 - Uh, that's not what I mean. 667 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,036 Krampus kills children. 668 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,374 He puts them in that basket and then he takes them to hell. 669 00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,292 - Wait, wait, wait, I saw that basket. 670 00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:57,710 I saw it when we were in the freezer. 671 00:38:57,752 --> 00:39:00,505 He was taking these slimV hairballs from the basket 672 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,632 and putting them into the Christmas boxes. 673 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,008 - No, you're wrong, he takes them to hell. 674 00:39:04,050 --> 00:39:05,885 - No, I know what we saw. 675 00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:08,930 We were spying on him until he noticed us 676 00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:10,932 and I swear he was taking those little hairballs, 677 00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:14,060 those disgusting little hairballs and putting them in boxes. 678 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,980 - All those kids the ranger was talking about. 679 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,190 - No, no, no, those hairballs, 680 00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,943 as you call them, they go to hell! 681 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:22,819 Not here! 682 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:27,115 Why, why is he taking all these 683 00:39:27,156 --> 00:39:29,909 children now, before Christmas? 684 00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:32,787 They can't all be naughty. 685 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,125 What is he up to? 686 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:46,301 - Speaking of naughtV, I think I have a plan. 687 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,932 (music fast forwarding) 688 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:58,646 - Where's my milk and cookies? 689 00:39:58,688 --> 00:40:00,481 - Oh, come on, Mom! 690 00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,941 That's the best part. 691 00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:06,988 - Oh, I know sweetie, but it's late 692 00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:09,157 and that stuff alwaVs gives you nightmares. 693 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:10,950 - Bed wetter. 694 00:40:10,992 --> 00:40:12,535 - Hey, I'm not a bed wetter! 695 00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:14,329 - I'm not a bed wetter. 696 00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,247 - Just that one time. 697 00:40:16,289 --> 00:40:17,999 - [Teenager] You're such a baby. 698 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:22,587 - Can Vou please stop picking on your brother? 699 00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:23,755 - Quit picking on your brother. 700 00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:25,715 I'm so over this place! 701 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,676 - Alright then, just go to bed. 702 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:29,844 - Gladly. 703 00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:30,762 Sleep tight. 704 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,890 Don't let the homicidal hillbillies bite. 705 00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:35,600 - Don't worry, mom. 706 00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:38,937 I can protect Vou from those homicidal hillbillies. 707 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:40,813 (laughs) 708 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:41,648 Goodnight. 709 00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,108 - Goodnight, sweetie. 710 00:40:44,150 --> 00:40:45,234 I love you. 711 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,236 - [Boy] I love you, too. 712 00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:06,839 (growling) 713 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:17,225 Cscreaming) (glass shattering) 714 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,603 (chilling music) 715 00:41:37,954 --> 00:41:39,747 (screaming) 716 00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,916 (roaring) 717 00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:48,381 - Here. 718 00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:49,215 Here. 719 00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:55,763 Once we get him now, we've gotta trap him till 720 00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:58,057 after midnight and then we're home free. 721 00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,767 Well, until I freeze him up again. 722 00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:00,601 - [Dahlia] Why midnight? 723 00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,186 - [Alexi] Well, it's Christmas. 724 00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:04,647 - Yeah, and if he takes off without me 725 00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:07,025 the whole world is going to hell. 726 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:10,486 (growling) 727 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:12,196 Even more than killing children 728 00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:15,033 he loves women, especially the naughty ones. 729 00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:17,660 He'll sniff you three out in no time. 730 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,454 - Let's get naughty! 731 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:24,000 (roaring) 732 00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:31,007 Goddamn it! 733 00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:36,471 (spraying) 734 00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:37,889 Krampus! 735 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,432 Goddamn! 736 00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:40,641 Piss! 737 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:41,768 Shit! 738 00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:46,773 Motherfuckin' phooeV! (glass shattering) 739 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,942 Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey! 740 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:52,862 Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey! 741 00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:55,031 Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey! 742 00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:57,492 Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey! 743 00:42:57,533 --> 00:43:00,203 Goddamn, piss, shit, motherfuckin'phooey! 744 00:43:00,244 --> 00:43:01,496 (roaring) 745 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:06,084 Cthudding) (screaming) 746 00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:09,670 Get the fuck off me! 747 00:43:09,712 --> 00:43:12,006 (screaming) 748 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,097 (slobbering) 749 00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:21,474 (thudding) 750 00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:24,143 (taser buzzing) 751 00:43:25,186 --> 00:43:29,315 I've never been so happV to see your fucking face! 752 00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,611 (crying) 753 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,539 (gun firing) 754 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,791 (vomiting) 755 00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:51,629 - Jesus, Sean. 756 00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:56,134 - What's going on, buddy? 757 00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:57,468 - It's bad, Sean. 758 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,805 It got both of them. 759 00:44:00,847 --> 00:44:02,390 - Both of Harrison's girls? 760 00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:04,058 - Yeah, both. 761 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,395 Never seen anVthing like it in all my life. 762 00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,814 We're gonna have to call in the big guns, that's all. 763 00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:12,942 - I can't write this report. 764 00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:14,235 - Oh, the hell you can't! 765 00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:19,574 - I don't get it. 766 00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:22,243 Why do we need the FBI on a bear attack? 767 00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:25,872 - Look, man, the entire Vard is enclosed, it's gated in. 768 00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:28,875 We couldn't find a single break in the gate anywhere. 769 00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:30,126 Not one. 770 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:31,961 - What are you saying? 771 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:36,966 - Their little hearts were ripped out. 772 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,802 Sean, this ain't no bear. 773 00:44:49,228 --> 00:44:53,357 - This fucking guV is not gonna ruin my favorite holiday. 774 00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:54,400 - How did Santa get here? 775 00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,319 - I don't know, he was right behind us. 776 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,241 - Santa? 777 00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:04,202 - Some lookout he is! 778 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,078 - Shit, is he dead? 779 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,663 (snoring) 780 00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,706 - No, he's breathing. 781 00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:13,044 Old man's not dead, just useless. 782 00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:14,045 - Alright, yeah. 783 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:15,838 Oh, shit. 784 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,467 - Yummy, yummy! 785 00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:20,801 (sniffing) 786 00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:22,386 (growling) 787 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,472 - We've gotta tie him up. 788 00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:30,478 - [Alexi] Can you get this over there? 789 00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:42,823 - He's seriously down for the count, guys. 790 00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:44,784 Picture time? 791 00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:45,618 - Yeah! 792 00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:49,247 (techno music) 793 00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:04,262 Hello! 794 00:46:04,303 --> 00:46:05,554 Hi. - Hello. 795 00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:06,555 One at a time. 796 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,891 Krampus, ho, ho, ho. 797 00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:10,851 Not so tough now, are you? 798 00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,854 - He looks like some sort of fucked up reindeer, doesn't he? 799 00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:18,192 Look at this little puppy. 800 00:46:18,234 --> 00:46:19,944 I'm the Krampus, oh. 801 00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:21,153 Count of three. 802 00:46:21,195 --> 00:46:22,530 - [Both] One, two, three, Krampus! 803 00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:26,450 (bells jingling) 804 00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:28,869 - [Bruce] It's me. 805 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,329 Listen, listen to me. 806 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,082 This is the Sheriff. 807 00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:37,670 Look, I want Vou to get out to Santa Land and I mean now. 808 00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:40,131 You got that? 809 00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:41,007 Go, get on it. 810 00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:45,970 (snoring) 811 00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:48,389 - [Dahlia] Ha, ha, we got you! 812 00:46:48,431 --> 00:46:49,849 - Let's clean you up and then maybe 813 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:51,100 we'll get home in time for Christmas. 814 00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:52,101 - Okay, let's go. 815 00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:52,935 - Okay. 816 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,729 Dahlia, you on board? 817 00:46:54,770 --> 00:46:56,230 - Yeah, he'll be fine. 818 00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:01,277 (growling) 819 00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:03,237 (roaring) 820 00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:04,071 - No! 821 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,241 Croaring) (screaming) 822 00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:08,075 Krampus! 823 00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:13,080 Krampus, that's enough! 824 00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,086 (groaning) 825 00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,013 Wow! 826 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:31,140 Go! 827 00:47:34,060 --> 00:47:34,852 Go! 828 00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:38,814 (roaring) 829 00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:43,652 - Hi-ya! (thudding) 830 00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:50,326 (Krampus whimpering) 831 00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:52,244 - I think I wet myself. 832 00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,397 - [Brian] Sadie! 833 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:25,277 Sadie! 834 00:48:25,319 --> 00:48:27,655 - Does Krampus talk? 835 00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:28,489 - Never. 836 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:30,282 - Sadie! 837 00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,328 Sadie! 838 00:48:34,370 --> 00:48:35,162 Sadie, oh, mV God! - Brian! 839 00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:37,623 You came for me! 840 00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,960 - [Brian1 Of course I did, I was worried about you. 841 00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:42,128 - You were? 842 00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:43,212 - Of course, I was. 843 00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:44,755 What the hell is going on here? 844 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:49,009 What weird shit has Dahlia gotten you into this time? 845 00:48:49,051 --> 00:48:50,469 - It's a long story. 846 00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:55,141 (ominous music) 847 00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:09,196 In a nutshell, we're trVing to help the real-life Santa. 848 00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:10,030 - 'Sup? 849 00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:12,658 - Fight the evil Krampus. 850 00:49:14,827 --> 00:49:17,037 - Great, my girlfriend's on drugs. 851 00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:20,666 - I'm your girlfriend? 852 00:49:22,418 --> 00:49:24,253 (crunching) 853 00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:26,505 (screaming) 854 00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:28,841 (squirting) 855 00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,886 (roaring) 856 00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:41,312 - What the shit? 857 00:49:46,775 --> 00:49:47,568 - Sean! 858 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:49,778 Sean? 859 00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:54,283 Answer, goddamn it! 860 00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:57,578 (dramatic music) 861 00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:59,079 - [Santa] Krampus! 862 00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:04,710 (zapping) 863 00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:06,962 (thudding) 864 00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:13,594 - [Sadie] No! 865 00:50:13,636 --> 00:50:14,845 No! 866 00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:19,850 Brian, no! (sobbing) 867 00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:24,104 (electricity zapping) 868 00:50:24,146 --> 00:50:26,357 (grunting) 869 00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:35,783 (punching) 870 00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:39,828 (screaming) 871 00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:41,455 - What the fuck is going on? 872 00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:43,832 (girls yelling) 873 00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:45,125 - We've gotta get out of here! 874 00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:46,085 - [Sadie] He killed Brian! 875 00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:47,253 - Are you okay? 876 00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:48,963 - [Sadie] He killed my Brian! 877 00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:49,797 - [Sean] Who? 878 00:50:49,838 --> 00:50:50,631 - He killed Brian! 879 00:50:50,673 --> 00:50:51,465 - [Sean] Who? 880 00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:52,800 - He killed him! 881 00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:54,510 - [Santa] Krampus! 882 00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:55,344 - Oh, shit. 883 00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:56,929 Put the weapon down now! 884 00:50:56,971 --> 00:50:58,305 Hey, you, put that down! 885 00:50:58,347 --> 00:51:00,975 (taser zapping) 886 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,771 - Come on, over there, you know the drill. 887 00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:07,231 Go on, go on. 888 00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:09,817 - Officer Green just called in and said Sean 889 00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,735 is not responding to his radio. 890 00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:13,946 Have you heard from him? 891 00:51:13,988 --> 00:51:15,614 - As a matter of fact, I have. 892 00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:20,452 TheV had a report of a strange truck at old man Kris's. 893 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,538 He went up there to investigate. 894 00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:25,541 - You mean, Santa Land? 895 00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:26,375 - [Bruce] Yeah. 896 00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:30,754 - Shit, I need a cigarette! 897 00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:32,423 - [Bruce] What? 898 00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:33,799 - Oh, look at you. 899 00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,677 - What are you doing? 900 00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:37,928 - [Operator] Alright. 901 00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:38,762 (telephone ringing) 902 00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:39,722 - [Bruce] Whose gonna answer the phone? 903 00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:41,181 - [Operator] You are. 904 00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:42,725 - Police department, hello? 905 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:44,727 Hello? 906 00:51:46,270 --> 00:51:48,272 I don't know how to work it! 907 00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,481 (telephone ringing) 908 00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:50,608 Get off the cookies! 909 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,451 (coughing) 910 00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:05,414 - Okay, what the fuck is going on? 911 00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:07,458 Who are you people? 912 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:08,792 Why are you covered in blood? 913 00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:10,586 Why do you have my gun? 914 00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:13,255 Why does my neck hurt, who tased me? 915 00:52:13,297 --> 00:52:15,883 Kris, I fucking knew you killed that kid! 916 00:52:15,924 --> 00:52:17,343 I knew you were crazy like that! 917 00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,927 I need answers and I need 'em now! 918 00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,639 - Shut the fuck up, sit down and listen! 919 00:52:23,223 --> 00:52:24,642 - You have to help us. 920 00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,143 We need your help. 921 00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,604 He killed Brian, he's gonna kill everyone. 922 00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,813 - That's the thing. 923 00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:32,149 - It all seems reallV crazy, but he didn't do it. 924 00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:33,692 He didn't kill Brian. 925 00:52:33,734 --> 00:52:35,444 The real killer's out there! 926 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:36,487 He's Santa. 927 00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:41,492 - You picked a hell of a day to do this. 928 00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:43,577 (laughs) 929 00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:46,914 - Look, he's Santa Claus! 930 00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:51,168 - Why are all the hot ones crazy? 931 00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,921 Look, this is old man Kris. 932 00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:55,631 Everyone knows Kris. 933 00:52:55,673 --> 00:52:57,216 He used to run Santa Land back in the day, 934 00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,134 but now he's just an old hermit. 935 00:52:59,176 --> 00:52:59,968 - Excuse me? 936 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:03,097 - And he's going to jail for a very long time 937 00:53:03,138 --> 00:53:05,265 just like you and you and you. 938 00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:06,392 - The hell we are! 939 00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,895 (girls yelling) 940 00:53:13,148 --> 00:53:14,358 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 941 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:15,484 One at a time, one at a time! 942 00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:16,318 You! 943 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,986 - So there's this creature, right? 944 00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:22,533 He's like this big, hairV animal with these horns, you know? 945 00:53:22,574 --> 00:53:23,367 Um-- 946 00:53:23,409 --> 00:53:24,201 - Krampus! 947 00:53:24,243 --> 00:53:25,786 - Yeah. 948 00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:28,163 - Look, I've seen enough mangled kids 949 00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,957 in the past week to last a lifetime. 950 00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:33,252 Given the day I've had, I'm not sure if 951 00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:36,213 I trust my gut or what you're telling me. 952 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,675 - The thing is that he's not the killer. 953 00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:41,051 He didn't do it, he's Santa. 954 00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:42,928 Yeah, he's Kris. 955 00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:46,014 Kris Kringle, you know, like, Santa Claus? 956 00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,850 - Ho, ho, ho! 957 00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:49,351 Santa Claus. 958 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:51,562 - Anyway, the thing is we have to save 959 00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:54,022 the world from that monster out there! 960 00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:54,857 - The world? 961 00:53:54,898 --> 00:53:55,691 - Yes! 962 00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:56,900 Sean, do you trust me? 963 00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:58,235 - No! 964 00:53:58,277 --> 00:53:59,194 - Santa? 965 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,028 - [Santa] Hmm? 966 00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,238 - Show him your thing. 967 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,407 (zapping) 968 00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:07,453 - Holy shit. 969 00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:10,330 (laughs) 970 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:11,248 Wow. 971 00:54:11,290 --> 00:54:12,374 (roaring) 972 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:15,377 Gimme the fucking gun, give it here. 973 00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:18,756 What's it called? 974 00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:20,257 - [Santa] Krampus! 975 00:54:22,509 --> 00:54:24,178 (growling) 976 00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:27,181 (suspenseful music) 977 00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:42,029 - This is unbelievable. 978 00:54:44,490 --> 00:54:45,783 Let's say I do believe you. 979 00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:50,788 When I was a kid and you opened this place 980 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,873 I really thought you were Santa. 981 00:54:52,915 --> 00:54:55,834 It was the onlV thing this boring town had going for it. 982 00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,085 Christmas all year round. 983 00:54:58,253 --> 00:55:00,297 I thought I was the luckiest kid in the world. 984 00:55:00,339 --> 00:55:01,882 - Well, goody fucking gum drops. 985 00:55:02,883 --> 00:55:03,842 I'm glad you had your fun. 986 00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:05,552 Here, have a cookie. - Thank you. 987 00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:06,386 - But we don't have much time. 988 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:08,680 You see, we gotta trap him before midnight! 989 00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:12,059 - Yeah, no one knows this forest 990 00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,228 like I do, not even you, Kris. 991 00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:17,314 Let's get this Krampus and take back Christmas! 992 00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:20,192 (dramatic music) 993 00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:22,986 - Okay, Dahlia, you're gonna be our eyes 994 00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:25,531 on the south end in car two of the bumblebee coaster. 995 00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:26,365 - Got it! 996 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,035 - Sadie, you have your compact? 997 00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:31,912 Great, Vou're gonna flash it if you see anything. 998 00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,747 You're gonna be in the bumblebee hive. 999 00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:39,002 I'm gonna be perched right here on top of the north tower. 1000 00:55:42,422 --> 00:55:45,801 Sean, you'll be with me in the tower. 1001 00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,427 - Your wish is my command. 1002 00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:48,262 (gun clicking) 1003 00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:49,096 Santa? - Hmm? 1004 00:55:49,137 --> 00:55:49,972 - You're gonna be at the house of mirrors 1005 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,765 and Vou are gonna have your cane at the ready. 1006 00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,100 - I'm there. 1007 00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:56,144 (crunching) 1008 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,729 Yeah! - Ha! 1009 00:55:57,771 --> 00:56:00,691 (slapping) 1010 00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:02,025 (yelling) 1011 00:56:02,067 --> 00:56:05,028 - Santa Claus is coming to town, bitches! 1012 00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,865 (dramatic music) 1013 00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:09,199 - Okay. 1014 00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:11,910 (camera clicking) 1015 00:56:11,952 --> 00:56:13,537 Oh, no, it was blurry. 1016 00:56:13,579 --> 00:56:16,123 (all groaning) 1017 00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:21,670 (suspenseful music) 1018 00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,901 (growling) 1019 00:56:48,697 --> 00:56:51,575 (creaking) 1020 00:56:51,617 --> 00:56:52,534 - Shit! 1021 00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:55,370 I don't think it's working. 1022 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,622 What do we do now? 1023 00:56:56,663 --> 00:56:57,956 - Good question. 1024 00:57:04,796 --> 00:57:07,007 (growling) 1025 00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:14,640 It's okay. 1026 00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:16,016 - OkaV. - It's just a noise. 1027 00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:18,727 (moaning) 1028 00:57:18,769 --> 00:57:20,979 (growling) 1029 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:29,154 (screaming) 1030 00:57:29,196 --> 00:57:30,739 - OkaV. - Come on! 1031 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,783 - Fuck you! (banging) 1032 00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:33,617 Fuck you! 1033 00:57:37,746 --> 00:57:38,538 Fuck you! 1034 00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:44,670 CVelling) (slicing) 1035 00:57:47,422 --> 00:57:48,799 (screaming) 1036 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:53,136 - [Sadie] Hi-ya! (thudding) 1037 00:57:53,178 --> 00:57:54,888 - [Santa] This way, Sadie! 1038 00:57:54,930 --> 00:57:57,557 (roaring) 1039 00:57:57,599 --> 00:57:58,684 (punching) 1040 00:57:58,725 --> 00:57:59,851 - [Sean] Nice! 1041 00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:02,604 Motherfucker! 1042 00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:05,148 Come on! 1043 00:58:06,149 --> 00:58:08,860 (dramatic music) 1044 00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:11,780 Fucking asshole! 1045 00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,116 (screaming) 1046 00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:26,420 (engine revving) 1047 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,094 - Stop! 1048 00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:35,262 - Cherry? 1049 00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:36,513 - What the hell is she doing here? 1050 00:58:36,555 --> 00:58:38,098 - Get those girls to safety. 1051 00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:41,601 I'll take care of these guys. 1052 00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:45,981 - Who the fuck called the fucking bartender? 1053 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,607 - I got this. 1054 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:50,068 I am the wifey, after all. 1055 00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:55,365 Ain't that right, honey? 1056 00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:58,535 - Baby, I missed you so much. 1057 00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:02,080 (engine revving) 1058 00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:04,374 - How is she gonna capture Krampus? 1059 00:59:04,416 --> 00:59:06,418 - Well, she's his crazy ex, right? 1060 00:59:07,502 --> 00:59:09,004 That must make her Mrs. Claus! 1061 00:59:10,172 --> 00:59:10,964 Come on! 1062 00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:16,595 - Of all nights, you chose tonight 1063 00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:19,306 to call in some bitches for fun? 1064 00:59:19,347 --> 00:59:20,098 - No, no, no, no-- 1065 00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,142 - Big surprise! - It's not what it looks like. 1066 00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,144 - You whimpering fool! 1067 00:59:24,186 --> 00:59:25,562 You failed me again! 1068 00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:31,526 I alwaVs stuck bV Vou even when your business failed 1069 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,861 and we had to eat the reindeer. 1070 00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:35,155 Did I ever complain? 1071 00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:35,989 - Never. 1072 00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:42,996 - Don't you know what I've been up to? 1073 00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:46,166 (laughing menacingly) 1074 00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:58,804 (telephone ringing) 1075 00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:00,722 - Margaret, he's just drunk. 1076 01:00:00,764 --> 01:00:02,307 He's gonna be fine tomorrow, don't-- 1077 01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:06,728 Look, Margaret, I gotta, hang on a second I got-- 1078 01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,313 Goddamn it! 1079 01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:09,606 No, not you, Margaret. 1080 01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:11,817 Hold on. 1081 01:00:13,985 --> 01:00:16,488 Green, this is the sheriff. 1082 01:00:16,530 --> 01:00:19,366 Look, we haven't heard from Sean in a while. 1083 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,450 He went out to Santa Land. 1084 01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,577 I need Vou guVs to get out there, I'm a little bit worried. 1085 01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,162 Find out what the heck is going on. 1086 01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:24,996 - [Green] Jesus Christ, Sean! 1087 01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,581 - Get out there right now. 1088 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:27,415 - [Green] Okay. 1089 01:00:27,457 --> 01:00:28,750 - Good, thank you. 1090 01:00:28,792 --> 01:00:30,460 (telephone ringing) 1091 01:00:30,502 --> 01:00:31,294 Jesus. 1092 01:00:32,671 --> 01:00:35,423 Margaret, hello? 1093 01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:36,299 (all panting and crying) 1094 01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:37,134 - [Sean] Come on! 1095 01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,640 - [Alexi] What is this place? 1096 01:00:52,190 --> 01:00:56,903 (door closing) (gasping) 1097 01:00:59,114 --> 01:01:00,365 (siren blaring) 1098 01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:03,034 (country music) 1099 01:01:06,454 --> 01:01:07,873 (ominous music) 1100 01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:08,707 - Krampus! 1101 01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:13,170 (chain rattling) 1102 01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,468 (zapping) 1103 01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,845 Cherry, what have you done? 1104 01:01:23,221 --> 01:01:28,185 - I was nobodV to Vou and nobody to the entire world. 1105 01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:30,854 You saw the way they portrayed me. 1106 01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:35,901 AlwaVs at Vour side with a plate of cookies to serve you. 1107 01:01:35,942 --> 01:01:36,735 Uh-uh-uh. 1108 01:01:38,153 --> 01:01:43,116 I was portrayed as fat, ugly and old. 1109 01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:49,122 When we both know that I am fucking hot! 1110 01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:55,045 I am cleansing the world of all 1111 01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:58,340 the little shits, naughty or nice! 1112 01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,174 And guess what? 1113 01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:00,008 - You can't do this! 1114 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:03,303 - They'll all think it was you! 1115 01:02:03,345 --> 01:02:05,972 (ominous music) 1116 01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,479 - [Sadie] What's that noise? 1117 01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,481 - It's, uh, rats. 1118 01:02:14,522 --> 01:02:15,357 It's probably just rats. 1119 01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:17,317 Big fucking rats or something. 1120 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:18,360 - Oh, my God, gross. 1121 01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:22,530 - After everVthing we went through rats are gross? 1122 01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,078 (thumping) 1123 01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,413 (squeaking) 1124 01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:32,749 (screaming) 1125 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,501 - [Sean] Hairy balls! 1126 01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:39,673 (ominous music) 1127 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,427 - Why are you doing this? 1128 01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:48,682 - To rewrite historV mV way with a little help 1129 01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:52,644 from my (snarling) hairy boyfriend. 1130 01:02:55,272 --> 01:02:56,690 (growling) 1131 01:02:56,731 --> 01:02:58,984 (laughing) 1132 01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:02,946 Oh, baby! 1133 01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:08,827 You were too busV spreading love to the world. 1134 01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:12,372 (Santa gagging) 1135 01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:16,876 Krampus, go get our sleigh. 1136 01:03:18,169 --> 01:03:21,423 We have work to do tonight. 1137 01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:23,675 (laughing) 1138 01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:29,556 (squeaking) 1139 01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:34,436 (screaming) 1140 01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:38,940 (snapping) 1141 01:03:41,192 --> 01:03:43,486 - [Sean] Killer hairy balls! 1142 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,783 (chewing) 1143 01:03:50,535 --> 01:03:52,871 (squeaking) 1144 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:01,254 (snapping) 1145 01:04:02,172 --> 01:04:04,466 (screaming) 1146 01:04:19,564 --> 01:04:21,941 (gun firing) 1147 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,823 (laughing) 1148 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:31,326 - Sounds like it's feeding time. 1149 01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:40,001 Krampus! 1150 01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,253 (grunting) 1151 01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:48,259 (growling) 1152 01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:12,826 (screaming) 1153 01:05:12,867 --> 01:05:15,245 (gun firing) 1154 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,635 - We have to stop them. 1155 01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:41,146 Hurry! 1156 01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:43,731 She has my cane. 1157 01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:46,401 Mazel tov! 1158 01:05:56,202 --> 01:06:00,748 Cwhooshing) (thudding) 1159 01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:06,212 - Get her off mV sleigh, she's not magical! 1160 01:06:06,254 --> 01:06:07,046 Go, go, go! 1161 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:12,427 Cwhacking) (laughing) 1162 01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:16,931 Go, go, go! 1163 01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:18,766 Go, go, go! 1164 01:06:20,602 --> 01:06:22,729 (roaring) 1165 01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:29,611 Yes! 1166 01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:39,496 (gun firing) 1167 01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:41,664 (roaring) 1168 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:54,636 - I'm so sorry. 1169 01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,014 But you're all connected. 1170 01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:07,065 (slicing) 1171 01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:10,318 (thudding) 1172 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,654 (squirting) 1173 01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:19,202 (Cherry screaming) 1174 01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:21,538 (exploding) 1175 01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,835 (siren blaring) 1176 01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,884 - Sean, this way, come on! 1177 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:36,678 Sean! 1178 01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:39,222 Sean! 1179 01:07:39,264 --> 01:07:40,723 Sean, are you alright? 1180 01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:44,519 What happened? 1181 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,607 - You wouldn't believe me if I told you. 1182 01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:52,193 (girls crying) 1183 01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,909 (tinkling) 1184 01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:04,872 (growling) 1185 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:08,209 (spooky jingling music) 1186 01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,347 (electricity buzzing) 1187 01:09:27,205 --> 01:09:29,082 - Merry Christmas, bitches! 1188 01:09:30,041 --> 01:09:32,168 (electricity buzzing) 1189 01:09:32,210 --> 01:09:36,422 (fast rock ''Deck the Halls'' music) 1190 01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:56,526 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1191 01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:59,320 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1192 01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:02,156 ♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪ 1193 01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,951 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1194 01:10:04,992 --> 01:10:07,829 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪ 1195 01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:10,665 ♪ Fa la la, la la la, la la la ♪ 1196 01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:13,501 ♪ Troll the ancient Yule tide carol ♪ 1197 01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:17,338 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1198 01:10:28,182 --> 01:10:30,768 ♪ See the blazing Yule before us ♪ 1199 01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:33,604 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1200 01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:36,399 ♪ Strike the harp and join the chorus ♪ 1201 01:10:36,441 --> 01:10:39,235 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1202 01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:42,113 ♪ Follow me in merry measure ♪ 1203 01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:45,074 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1204 01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:47,827 ♪ While I tell of Yule tide treasure ♪ 1205 01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:52,832 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1206 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:58,713 ♪ Fa la la la la ♪ 1207 01:10:59,338 --> 01:11:02,550 ♪ Fa la la la la ♪ 1208 01:11:02,592 --> 01:11:05,052 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1209 01:11:05,094 --> 01:11:07,847 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1210 01:11:07,889 --> 01:11:10,725 ♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪ 1211 01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,644 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1212 01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:16,397 ♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪ 1213 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:19,275 ♪ Fa la la, la la la, la la la ♪ 1214 01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:22,111 ♪ Troll the ancient Yule tide carol ♪ 1215 01:11:22,153 --> 01:11:25,948 ♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪ 1216 01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:52,725 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1217 01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:56,062 (chilling techno music) 1218 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:24,311 (fast rap music) 1219 01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,086 (techno music) 1220 01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:56,737 (whooshing)