1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,134 (Crow caws) 2 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,403 (Toast crunching) 3 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:07,272 (Door opens) 4 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,277 - Kids, it happens to be our anniversary today, 5 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,546 so it might be a nice idea if you wished your mother 6 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,981 a happy anniversary. 7 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,017 - Okay, um... 8 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,419 What would you like us to say? 9 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,154 - Well, you could start by saying, 10 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,323 "happy anniversary." 11 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,225 - Mmm, okay, but why are we wishing her 12 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,960 a happy anniversary? 13 00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:29,294 Isn't that something that you two 14 00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,662 are supposed to say to each other? 15 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,798 - Yeah, it's called being courteous, honey. 16 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,000 You know, the Bloomfield kids used to throw their parents 17 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,502 an anniversary party every year. 18 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,871 - Mhmm... um, if we're truth telling, 19 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,173 the Bloomfields were always a little too friendly 20 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,741 with one another. 21 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,176 I just don't understand what kind of family 22 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,378 skinny dips together. 23 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,880 - John, are you ready? 24 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,214 - Yes, sweetheart. 25 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,417 - Happy anniversary! 26 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,520 - Congratulations on your ongoing love for one another. 27 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,055 You did it! 28 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,456 - Okay kids, that's enough. 29 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,925 You sound like the incestuous Bloomfields. 30 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,493 - Have a blessed day. 31 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:09,234 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,005 - Ahem! Hello there, Roses. 33 00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:14,239 - Hello there, you! - Yes... 34 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,874 - May we join you? 35 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,343 - Oh, we just ordered to go. - Yeah, we're not staying, 36 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,045 we've got a million things to do. 37 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,047 - Oh, well then, I guess you don't want 38 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,949 your present then, huh? 39 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,051 (Laughs) 40 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,486 You wanna guess what your present is? 41 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,521 - No, I do not. - Dinner! 42 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,324 - We're gifting you a dinner! 43 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,327 - At the most exclusive eatery in Elmdale. 44 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,296 - Oh. - It's very hard to get a table. 45 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,531 But uh, I pulled a few strings. 46 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,434 That sounds too good to-- What's the catch? 47 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,269 - No, there's-there's no catch, 48 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,172 Just every new council member gets a dinner, so. 49 00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,908 - Oh, how very civilized. 50 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,412 - It is... thank you, Roland. We accept. 51 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,547 - Terrific, so we'll pick you up around seven. 52 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,117 - We? - Yeah, we have a coupon. 53 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:00,085 Four entrees for the price of three, 54 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,054 it expires soon, though. 55 00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:04,223 It should be really fun, you guys. 56 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,892 - Yes, it will be fun... 57 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,293 - Well, it would be fun, 58 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,596 if today were not our anniversary. 59 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,465 - Yeah... - Wow, happy anniversary! 60 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,434 - Well, thank you, thank you. 61 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,469 - You two are obviously gonna want to spend tonight 62 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,271 just the two of you, so-- 63 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,240 - Yes, that was the plan. JOCELYN: Yeah. 64 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,008 - Oh, well you know, the coupon expires 65 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,376 in three weeks, so... 66 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,145 - Okay, all right, let it go. 67 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,613 - You have fun, you guys! 68 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,014 - Okay. - Okay? 69 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,517 - Bye bye, now. - Bye! 70 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,752 - Boy, that was a close call. 71 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,554 (Bell on door jangles) 72 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,427 - What are you doing with that? 73 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,396 - With what, this yearbook? 74 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:47,466 - Could you put it back, please?! 75 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,201 - Why would I put it back, 76 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,303 when Stevie Budd was voted: 77 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,506 "Most likely to get the guy." 78 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,375 With that hair cut?! 79 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,044 - I'll have you know I was very popular with the boys. 80 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,113 - And girls, it seems. 81 00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,315 - Wow, well, according to the internet, 82 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:06,552 you were "Mister Popular." 83 00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,287 - I will have you know that that headshot 84 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,255 got me a two-episode arc on a TV series. 85 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,157 - What series? 86 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,660 - "Dateline." 87 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:18,263 I played a boy who got abducted from a grocery store. 88 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,132 - Wow. - Yeah. 89 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:21,667 And the performance was so riveting, 90 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,570 people thought I actually was the "Value Mart Victim." 91 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,139 - Hmm, bet that got you laid. 92 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:30,475 - It did. It really did. 93 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,780 - You know, I am surprised that you haven't asked me 94 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,548 to leave early today. 95 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,083 - Are you telepathic or something, 96 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,118 because I have been thinking about asking you that question 97 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,354 every day this week. 98 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,856 - I was just kidding. 99 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,125 - Oh... no yeah, me too. 100 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,629 - No, just with the big soiree at Mutt's tonight, 101 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,066 I figured that you would need ample time to get ready. 102 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,301 - Mutt's having a soiree? 103 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,370 - Well, I'm sure you're invited. 104 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,306 - Yeah, no. Yeah, no, why wouldn't I be? 105 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,342 Um, were you invited? 106 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,810 - Yeah. Yeah. 107 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:08,013 I guess it's just-just a bit of a pride issue, 108 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:11,049 you know, do I attend the party hosted by the guy 109 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,352 that you left me for? 110 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,053 - Yeah, no, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. 111 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:18,357 - Yeah, but I really would have to basically throw 112 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:21,293 all my self-respect just right out the window. 113 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,228 (Both laugh) - Aww, that's so sweet. 114 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:26,031 So um, what time is the party tonight? 115 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,668 - (Small laugh) - Happy anniversary, sweetheart. 116 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,404 - Oh darling, what a sweet gesture, 117 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,939 and a precursor no doubt, 118 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,442 to something more grand planned. 119 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,378 - Something more grand? 120 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,480 - Ah, knowing your penchant for surprises, 121 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:46,218 I'm guessing you have something else up your sleeve. 122 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,819 - Yes, I do. - Uh oh! 123 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,590 - I do, I... 124 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,458 was going to tell you later, 125 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,128 But I booked a restaurant in Elmdale, 126 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,463 it's supposed to be very fancy! 127 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,333 - The one that Roland and Jocelyn just told us about? 128 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,502 - Yes! Yes, but... 129 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,604 who knew they were asking us tonight! 130 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,706 - Just the two of us? - Mhmm. 131 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,342 - Sort of a "Lady and the Tramp" meets "9 1/2 Weeks" 132 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,444 kind of dinner date? 133 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,613 - Could for one second believe that I would not 134 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:18,684 have planned something... for our anniversary? 135 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,752 Tonight? 136 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,621 The two of us? 137 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:28,327 ♪ ♪ 138 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:30,629 (Soft classical music plays) 139 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,499 - Hi, Rose, party of two. 140 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,335 - Yeah, we spoke on the phone this afternoon. 141 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,203 You're lucky we had that cancellation. 142 00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,738 - Yes, well, lucky for someone. 143 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,241 We had a reservation which I of course made uh, 144 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,177 weeks ago. 145 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,545 - You always could swing a good table 146 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:49,414 at the last minute, John. 147 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,749 - Okay, it'll just be a few minutes. 148 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,818 - Thank you. - Okay. 149 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,553 - Moira? 150 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,054 - Bev? - Don! 151 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,456 - Moira! - Bev! 152 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,324 - Oh my God, the Roses! You're alive! 153 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,692 MOIRA: Ohhhh! JOHNNY: Oh my gosh! 154 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,228 Good to see you! - Wow! What? Don? 155 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,797 DON: Oh, I don't believe it! MOIRA: Come on, Don! 156 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,466 BEV: Muah! Muah! 157 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,034 - What are you two doing here? 158 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,669 - Well, we were dropping Mackenzie off at college, 159 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,504 and decided we'd take the scenic route home. 160 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,140 - You must-they should- you must join us! 161 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,575 - Join us for dinner! 162 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,876 BEV: Well- oh, yes! DON: That would be great! 163 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:21,446 - We are just dying to find out what you've been up to! 164 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,382 - We're dying to tell you! 165 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,850 (All laugh) BEV: Okay. 166 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,152 ALL: Ohhh... 167 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,590 (Loud, upbeat rock song plays) 168 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,192 ♪ I set your world on fire! ♪ 169 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,560 (Bottles clink) 170 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,362 ♪ Come on, let's go ♪ 171 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,765 ♪ Come on, let's go ♪ 172 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,533 - Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. 173 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,934 - Oh, I wouldn't either, 174 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,436 but I couldn't find a cocktail shaker, 175 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,172 and someone brought room temperature vodka. 176 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:50,542 - N-No, I mean Mutt made those ice cubes from well water, 177 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,911 so they smell a little fishy. 178 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,646 - Oh. 179 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,415 Yeah, wouldn't want that melting in my drink, 180 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,749 thank you very much. 181 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,385 - I'm Jake. - David. 182 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,654 - It's nice to meet you, handsome. 183 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,796 - I-I'll-I'm gonna-- so I'll just... 184 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,469 Wow! Look at you. 185 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,237 - What's that supposed to mean? 186 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,573 - No, I've just never seen you this dressed up before. 187 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,642 - I do what I want. 188 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,878 And tonight, I'm wanting to meet someone. 189 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,146 - Hmm. 190 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,581 - So, I have a certain high school reputation 191 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,349 I need to live up to. 192 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,751 - Uh huh, yeah, and good luck with that. 193 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:35,153 - Um, speaking of sexual popularity, 194 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:40,292 I'm pretty sure that um... that guy at the bar, 195 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,828 is into me. 196 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,665 - Who, Jake? - Yeah. Jake. 197 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:50,435 Why, was he one of your high school conquests? 198 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,938 - Actually, no. 199 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,272 But I have a pretty stellar radar for being able to tell 200 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,674 when guys are into me. 201 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:59,444 - Mhmm... um, and having swam in both ponds, 202 00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,547 I can say that I might be able to navigate those waters 203 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,516 a little but better than you. 204 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:07,452 - Uh huh? Well, we'll see. 205 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,254 - Hmm. 206 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:16,828 ♪ ♪ 207 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,201 (Soft classical music plays) 208 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,838 - So-so there we are at Izzy Tennison's country home-- 209 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,274 MOIRA: Oh, tell me she doesn't still have that stuffed bison. 210 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,842 - Oh, does she have it? 211 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,478 She's moved it to the front hall! 212 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,054 - What?! 213 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,348 - Grier wanted to hang her coat on the horns! 214 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,483 (All laugh) 215 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,685 - And it gets better. Don here-- 216 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,987 - Oh, wait now, don't throw me under the bus, 217 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,555 it was Borden who started it all. 218 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,457 - Borden Simons? 219 00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,359 It's like old home week! 220 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,027 - Anyway, I look over, 221 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,932 and Don and Borden are on their hands and knees, 222 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,435 crawling through the doggie door in the kitchen! 223 00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:01,473 It was too funny! (All laugh uproariously) 224 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,742 - Oh, you should've been there. - Oh, wish we could've been. 225 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:07,012 - Maybe next time. - Well, cheers to that! 226 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,580 ALL: Cheers. 227 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,882 (Glasses clink) 228 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,419 - Hey uh... Johnny? Moira? 229 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,821 - Oh my God! 230 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,691 - Um, what are you guys doing here? 231 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,027 - Well, we-we just ran into each other. 232 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,495 JOCELYN: It's their anniversary, Roland, 233 00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,930 just let them do what they want. 234 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,565 - It's your anniversary? You should've told us! 235 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,066 We don't want to intrude. 236 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,735 MOIRA: No, you're not intruding, this is a surprise treat. 237 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,905 - Oh, okay, well then, are we intruding? 238 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,774 Because before you were saying 239 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,476 that you didn't wanna go out tonight, so... 240 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,478 - No, no, we-we uh... 241 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,980 You can certainly join us, 242 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,215 if you don't have your own table. 243 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,817 - We do, but that would be great! 244 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,320 - Okay! - Yes, well then, by all means, 245 00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:52,257 yes, let's uh- let's... let's all sit at one table. 246 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,359 BEV: This is cozy. Hello. JOCELYN: Hi. 247 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:55,994 BEV: Good evening. 248 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,395 ("Learn To Love" by W. Darling) 249 00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:01,800 ♪ You can stand with a shield at your side ♪ 250 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:06,538 ♪ Never breaking protecting your pride ♪ 251 00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,873 ♪ But you can't really win ♪ 252 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:12,410 ♪ If you've nothing to lose ♪ 253 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,913 - Wow. Look at you. 254 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,781 - Is it weird that I'm here? 255 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,083 - It's only weird if you think it's weird. 256 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:20,585 - Yeah. Okay. I don't if you don't. 257 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,021 Um, in fact, I don't actually know how late I can stay. 258 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,558 I just wanted to pop in, and say hey. 259 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,160 - Well, you're awfully dolled up for a "pop in." 260 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,764 - (Laughs) Oh my God, stop, I basically came from work. 261 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,833 - Babe, your stove's being testy again, 262 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,167 should I just serve the cider cold? 263 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:41,039 - Uh... Alexis, this is uh, my girlfriend, 264 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,242 Tennessee. - Wow! 265 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,011 Wow. Woweee. 266 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,079 (Laughs) - Alexis, hi. 267 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,614 It's so nice to finally meet you, 268 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,383 Mutt's told me so much about you. 269 00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:53,952 The way he describes you, it's like you're this... 270 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,920 beautiful little poem. 271 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,156 - Well, love "little!" 272 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,159 Look at you! You're like a poem too. 273 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,729 Like, a really pretty poem, or like, 274 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,998 a mermaid, or something. 275 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,234 Mutt, you're growing back your beard. 276 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,470 - Yeah, she likes it. 277 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,806 - Okay. 278 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:18,743 - Um, okay uh, I'm gonna go grab a drink. 279 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:21,713 But um, it was so nice to finally meet you, 280 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,682 Tallahassee, so... 281 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,817 - It's ah, Tennessee. - Yes, Tennessee. 282 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,787 I love that name, it's so unique. 283 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,155 Um, thank God you look the way you do, 284 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,624 because that name on the wrong girl would just... 285 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,192 Ooh! So... 286 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:38,229 You should feel really good about yourself. 287 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,699 - She's cute. 288 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,701 - You guys haven't ordered yet, have you? 289 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:47,605 Because I need to present this coupon to the waiter first. 290 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,808 - Don't know what that means. 291 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,643 - He's so ironic, this one. 292 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,044 - Oh! (Laughs) 293 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,914 - So where are you living now, Moira? 294 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,049 Tell us all about it. 295 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,486 MOIRA: Oh, we're in a rustic, ranch style... 296 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,622 bungalow... that-- 297 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,124 JOCELYN: It's very nice. 298 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,527 Very nice, it's got plenty of parking, 299 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,062 and a TV in every room. 300 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,064 DON: Oh, how many bedrooms? 301 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,433 - Ten. - Ten bedrooms! 302 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,770 - Yeah, well, we don't use all the bedrooms. 303 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,106 - That must be a nightmare to clean! 304 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,141 - Um, Stevie does an adequate job. 305 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,009 - Stevie's one of your staff? - Mhmm! 306 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:28,146 - (Laughs) Stevie's the only staff. 307 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,248 JOCELYN: This olive tapenade is-- 308 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,684 - Salty, I know! 309 00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:33,985 - Is it? I-I thought it was good, 310 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,855 but yeah, it's salty. 311 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,757 BEV: Hmm! Here's a funny story. 312 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,225 - Oh, good. 313 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:43,094 - On our way here, we drove through a town... 314 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:48,133 not a word of a lie, called... "Schittstown!" 315 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,902 - Oh! No, it was called, "Schittsville!" 316 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,837 - Schittsville! (Laughs) 317 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,205 - And from the looks of it, 318 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,207 the town was living up to its name! 319 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,977 - Let's not go for the low-hanging fruit here, Don. 320 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:02,080 Okay? - No, these are funny jokes. 321 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,082 Please continue, Don. 322 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:08,887 - You see, Roland gets it! (Chuckles) 323 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,291 (Loud rock song plays) 324 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,764 - You know, I'm actually having more fun at this party 325 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,966 than I thought I would. 326 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,002 - How did you do it? 327 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,004 - Well, I started by drinking all four 328 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,572 of those peach schnapps that you left in my fridge-- 329 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,074 - No, I mean you seemed so cool about everything 330 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:34,312 after we broke up. It was almost annoying. 331 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,147 - Cool? 332 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,983 Alexis, I couldn't stop crying. 333 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,754 I was scaring all the animals at work. 334 00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:47,225 But when I... had to go on our honeymoon without you, 335 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,596 the zip line instructor 336 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,132 at the Los Passions Couples Resort told me 337 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:57,001 that I just gotta get through it. 338 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,806 Meaning my fear of heights, which I did get through. 339 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:05,577 But with you, it just... 340 00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:07,512 it took a little longer. 341 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,850 - I'm sorry. 342 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,985 - It's okay. 343 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,157 Staff dance? 344 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,758 - Yes! 345 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,669 - Mmm! 346 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,772 Hmm, I thought I was shame eating in private. 347 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,075 - What is shame eating? 348 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:41,212 - I don't think we have enough time for that tonight. 349 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,114 - Are you looking for someone? 350 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,816 - No, yeah, I mean, sorry, 351 00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:47,986 I'm just, I lost my friend who should be around here 352 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,188 somewhere um, watching this so. 353 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,923 - Are you here with Stevie? 354 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,125 - I am. Yeah. 355 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,727 - Okay. - Not here "with." 356 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,062 No, we're not together, I'm very much single, so. 357 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,431 - You wanna get some air? 358 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,367 - Yeah. Uh huh. 359 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,668 Mm! Yeah. 360 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,309 - Who do you have to kill around here 361 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:15,079 to get another bottle of this undrinkable wine? 362 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,148 - I think it's good. 363 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,684 I ordered the one with the highest alcohol content. 364 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,686 - What do you do, Roland? 365 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:25,189 BEV: Something in agriculture, by the looks of it? 366 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:28,426 JOCELYN: Roland is actually the mayor of our town. 367 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,028 BEV AND DON: Oh! 368 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,729 - Not Schittsville, I hope! 369 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,098 (Bev and Don laugh) 370 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,900 - What do you even call someone from Schittsville? 371 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,236 A Schitter? A Schitthead? 372 00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,172 - Okay, you know what? - John, John. 373 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,875 - Don't worry, Moira, I won't say anything untoward. 374 00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,209 - We're just having fun, John. 375 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,978 - And I thought we were having fun, Bev, 376 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,279 but you know what, we're not. 377 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,782 - Oh come on, it's just a joke! 378 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,885 - No Don, here's the joke. 379 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:57,088 The joke is I'm sitting here in a half decent restaurant 380 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,724 with my wife and our friends... 381 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:06,097 and all you two have done is complain about the food, 382 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,800 and pretend that you didn't leave us high and dry 383 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,868 after we lost everything. 384 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,370 - Oh, we're past all that now. 385 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,873 - I'm not quite past it, Moira. 386 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,743 You wrote us off, Don. 387 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,979 Not a phone call, 388 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,381 not an email, 389 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,350 not a nickel. 390 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,020 Roland and Jocelyn here, 391 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,822 could not have been more generous 392 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:34,859 with what little they have. 393 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,528 They found us a place to live, 394 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:41,199 they've offered us their truck whenever we've needed it. 395 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:44,402 they've invited us to their parties, 396 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:48,673 they even offered to take us out to dinner tonight. 397 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,408 - Well, just to be clear, Johnny, 398 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,943 we were always gonna split the bill, 399 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,244 it's just with the coupon-- 400 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,380 JOCELYN: Rollie, Rollie. 401 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,384 - (Laughs) 402 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,919 - And that town you passed through, 403 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,022 it's not called Schittsville. 404 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,958 It's called Schitt's Creek. 405 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,727 And it's where we live. 406 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,074 - So Jake, um... 407 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,209 do you drink red wine, or white wine? 408 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,145 - I don't really drink wine. 409 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,846 I'm more of a beer guy. 410 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,214 - Right. Yeah. 411 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,417 That doesn't help me much. Um... 412 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,952 - Well, I better get going. 413 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,255 I've gotta get to the shop early tomorrow morning, so. 414 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,424 - Oh, you work retail as well? 415 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:43,094 - No, no. The wood shop. I make furniture. 416 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,197 - Ah. Yeah. No, I did a lot of um... 417 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,698 I did a lot of wood working in high school. 418 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,167 - Oh. - Yeah, uh, 419 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,069 Christie McFadden accidentally nailed her hand 420 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,870 to her paper towel holder, 421 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:56,407 so that's-the lesson is just not to nail stuff-- 422 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:03,181 - You know, I'm a pretty open-minded guy. 423 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:06,517 So... why don't you stop by the shop sometime? 424 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,386 - Okay. 425 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:11,222 - Good night. - Good night. 426 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,595 I knew it! 427 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:24,302 ♪ ♪ 428 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,304 (Stevie and Twyla chat quietly) 429 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,607 - Uh... 430 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,276 - Where were you? 431 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,512 - Where were you?! 432 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,514 - Some townies were trying to get us high, 433 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,749 and we didn't want to offend them, 434 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,185 because they're doing so well in life. 435 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,554 Didn't want to burn a bridge. 436 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:47,358 - Actually, those boys did burn a bridge last summer. 437 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,328 Luckily they don't get as bored as they used to. 438 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,296 - Okay. Um... 439 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,432 So Jake is into me. 440 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,336 - Is he? 441 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,439 - Yeah! - What makes you think that? 442 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:05,977 - Because we just necked out behind the barn. 443 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:11,382 - Seriously, what makes you think that? 444 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,985 - Because we put our mouths together, 445 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,487 out behind the barn. 446 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,590 - Just so you know, I kissed him too. 447 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,061 - Well, that didn't happen. 448 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,931 - Who's to say? 449 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,601 - Well, when would you have had time to do that? 450 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,037 Did he invite you to his wood shop? 451 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,605 Sorry, that came out wrong. 452 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:44,348 ("Precious Love" by James Morrison) 453 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,816 (Slow rock song plays) 454 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:49,153 ♪ ♪ 455 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,489 - Smells like grass in here. 456 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:55,493 - Oh my God! - Oh my God! 457 00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,064 - Okay, this is not okay! What are you guys doing here?! 458 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,433 - Shhh, Alexis! 459 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,503 For once in your life shhhh! 460 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,172 - I don't care what snarky remarks you kids are gonna make 461 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:12,143 under your breath, tonight we are dancing as a family. 462 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:14,245 - What is happening? 463 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,546 ♪ Well, I'm down on my knees, ♪ 464 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,948 ♪ Begging you please ♪ 465 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:20,251 ♪ to give me some more of that stuff ♪ 466 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,587 - Do you know your father and I 467 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:26,424 hold great affection for the two of you? 468 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,426 it may not always be obvious, but-- 469 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,195 - Just say it, Moira! 470 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,798 - We love you both very much. 471 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,733 - Love you too! 472 00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,239 - Love you too. 473 00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,507 - (Laughs) 474 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:47,712 ♪ I understand, understand ♪ 475 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:51,382 ♪ This is love love love love 476 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,384 ♪ Precious love ♪ 477 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,785 This is precious love 478 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:58,756 ♪ And is teaching me to be a better man ♪ 479 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,492 ♪ This is precious love, Precious love ♪ 480 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,462 ♪ No I can't get enough ♪ 481 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,298 ♪ Oh I'm down on my knees then I see ♪ 482 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,634 ♪ You must be from heaven above ♪ 483 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:13,771 ♪ It's love love love love love ♪ 484 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,406 ♪ This is love ♪ 485 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:19,076 ♪ Oh, it's love love love love Precious love ♪