1 00:00:15,288 --> 00:00:17,289 - Moira! Moira! - Hm. 2 00:00:17,324 --> 00:00:19,325 Oh no! 3 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:21,560 I just finally cried myself to sleep. 4 00:00:21,595 --> 00:00:23,229 The bed is soaking wet. 5 00:00:23,263 --> 00:00:25,063 Is it blood? 6 00:00:25,098 --> 00:00:26,965 No! There's... there is leak in the ceiling. 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,067 There is a brown disgusting drip coming. 8 00:00:29,102 --> 00:00:30,702 Owwww! 9 00:00:30,737 --> 00:00:33,071 Look it! Look... oh my God. 10 00:00:33,106 --> 00:00:35,107 - I can't do it. - This place is a dump! It's a dump 11 00:00:35,142 --> 00:00:35,941 - I tried! - You know what it's a hell hole. 12 00:00:35,975 --> 00:00:38,377 I tired, John, but I can't! 13 00:00:38,411 --> 00:00:39,745 Wake up. 14 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:44,149 Start packing, the pluming is shot to hell in this place 15 00:00:44,183 --> 00:00:46,618 and we are getting out. We are getting out! 16 00:00:46,653 --> 00:00:48,419 What are you wearing? What is that? A nightgown? 17 00:00:48,454 --> 00:00:50,488 It's a nightshirt, David. And that's not the issue. 18 00:00:50,523 --> 00:00:52,791 The issue is the brown sludge in my bed. 19 00:00:52,825 --> 00:00:54,225 We're selling the place! 20 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,060 It's 6:00 am! 21 00:00:56,094 --> 00:00:58,429 What's the name of that mouthy kid at the front desk? 22 00:00:58,464 --> 00:01:00,265 I don't know. I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now. 23 00:01:00,299 --> 00:01:02,400 The mouth the mouth, the girl. 24 00:01:02,434 --> 00:01:04,269 You might want to rethink the nightgown first. 25 00:01:04,303 --> 00:01:06,337 There's an ebenezer scrooge thing happening right now. 26 00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:08,339 Oh my God, that's who I was thinking of. 27 00:01:08,374 --> 00:01:09,974 You know what?! I'll do it myself. 28 00:01:10,008 --> 00:01:11,776 My best to Bob Cratchit. 29 00:01:26,357 --> 00:01:28,825 Hello! Hello! Service? 30 00:01:31,329 --> 00:01:33,029 This bell is broken. 31 00:01:33,064 --> 00:01:35,265 Yeah, sorry. 32 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,767 It's more or less decorative. 33 00:01:37,802 --> 00:01:40,637 There's a leak in my room. 34 00:01:40,672 --> 00:01:44,675 Brown, disgusting sewage water was dripping all over my bed this morning. 35 00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:48,244 I was soaking wet. So I need a plumber. 36 00:01:48,278 --> 00:01:51,981 You want me to call a plumber? 37 00:01:52,016 --> 00:01:52,949 Do I want you to call a plumber? 38 00:01:52,983 --> 00:01:55,318 Yes, yes I do. I want you call... 39 00:01:55,352 --> 00:01:56,419 You should already be on the phone. 40 00:01:56,453 --> 00:01:58,121 Could you call a plumber? 41 00:01:58,155 --> 00:02:02,525 Stevie let's see if he's home... or conscious. 42 00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:04,427 He's a good guy, he's just a big drinker. 43 00:02:04,461 --> 00:02:06,329 I also need a real estate agent. 44 00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:09,265 The name of a good real estate agent right away. 45 00:02:09,299 --> 00:02:11,967 Ooh, there's a guy named Ray. 46 00:02:14,705 --> 00:02:18,240 Yeah. He's the best one. He's also the only one so... 47 00:02:18,274 --> 00:02:20,542 A guy named Ray... 48 00:02:23,029 --> 00:02:24,997 Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Rose? 49 00:02:25,031 --> 00:02:27,165 Yes. My wife and I will be taking breakfast 50 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,767 in our room this morning. 51 00:02:28,802 --> 00:02:32,471 Eggs florentine and a yoghurt parfait. 52 00:02:32,505 --> 00:02:34,372 Yeah... unfortunately, due to a lack of everything, 53 00:02:34,407 --> 00:02:36,674 we don't do room service. 54 00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:38,176 Uh, but you're always welcome to help yourself 55 00:02:38,211 --> 00:02:42,947 to our complimentary espresso bar. 56 00:02:42,982 --> 00:02:44,382 I'd rather drink the pipe-water. 57 00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:46,718 I hear ya. 58 00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:51,388 Ew! Who even is this girl? 59 00:02:51,423 --> 00:02:53,057 He said he'd never date someone with a toe ring and yet... 60 00:02:57,162 --> 00:02:59,764 - Rub my back. - What?! No. 61 00:02:59,798 --> 00:03:02,033 I rubbed your back many a nights when you were little. 62 00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,368 Yeah, in exchange for half my allowance. 63 00:03:04,402 --> 00:03:08,005 Fine. You may select one silver piece from my accessory case. 64 00:03:08,039 --> 00:03:09,640 - Right here. - Omigod... 65 00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:12,209 she has hakuna matata tattooed on her foot. 66 00:03:12,244 --> 00:03:14,878 Stavros was seeing escorts before you. 67 00:03:14,912 --> 00:03:17,148 A Disney tattoo shouldn't be a surprise. 68 00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:18,982 We said no social media post breakup. We had a pact about that. 69 00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:20,752 He dates hooker. 70 00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:24,688 Oh, well, I'm sorry, I don't hire my friends at model castings. 71 00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,623 Actually, now that I think about in, where are those friends? 72 00:03:26,658 --> 00:03:28,191 They're just giving me space right now. 73 00:03:28,226 --> 00:03:29,760 Because they're considered people. 74 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:31,362 Oh right. Space. Yeah. 75 00:03:31,396 --> 00:03:32,563 Okay. Well, I think it's bests that he dumped you. 76 00:03:32,597 --> 00:03:34,765 He didn't dump me. 77 00:03:34,799 --> 00:03:38,435 We actually both decided that it was best that he see other people so... 78 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:42,105 Children, mindless bickering is a luxury we may no longer afford. 79 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,309 You are blind to reality and for that I am most proud 80 00:03:46,344 --> 00:03:48,644 but our worlds evil twin... has reared her ugly... 81 00:03:48,679 --> 00:03:50,213 Okay. I'm taking my journal into the bathroom. 82 00:03:50,248 --> 00:03:52,448 Where I will be shutting the door. 83 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,550 David! You might actually wanna hear this. 84 00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:01,491 Oh hi! 85 00:04:01,525 --> 00:04:02,958 Are you Ray? 86 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,326 - Yes. - You're late. 87 00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:06,295 Johnny Rrose. My wife, Moira. 88 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,097 - Hello. - Hi. 89 00:04:08,131 --> 00:04:10,966 Oh, I love your complexion. 90 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:14,203 So... what can I help you with, 91 00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:17,506 housing, investment opportunities? 92 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,074 Mr. Rose and I would like to put a for sale sign 93 00:04:19,109 --> 00:04:21,643 on this incredible town. 94 00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:23,312 We're willing to settle for what we paid for it. 95 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,681 More if you can get it, but definitely not less. 96 00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:30,385 Well, I'm not gonna lie to you I'm not super optimistic. 97 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,987 You know, because the government saw no value in Schitt's Creek. 98 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,189 You know, when they repossessed your assets. 99 00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:36,558 You know, because of the humiliating... 100 00:04:36,592 --> 00:04:38,059 Yes, we know. We know. We know. 101 00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:40,629 Well, we'll do our best. 102 00:04:40,663 --> 00:04:42,363 First we just have to get Roland to sign off on the listing 103 00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:45,967 and then we're good to go. 104 00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:50,038 I need to confer with the financial powerhouse of the family. 105 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:54,075 Since when did the mayor need to sign off on this? 106 00:04:54,109 --> 00:04:56,811 Ray, since when did the mayor need to sign off on this? 107 00:04:56,845 --> 00:04:58,646 Well, it's all here... 108 00:05:04,719 --> 00:05:06,554 Son of a bitch! 109 00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,693 Oh, excuse me. 110 00:05:12,727 --> 00:05:13,594 I don't think my sheets have been cleaned. 111 00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:15,729 They smell like cigarettes. 112 00:05:15,764 --> 00:05:17,230 No, that's just the way they smell. 113 00:05:17,265 --> 00:05:19,632 Also, you can tell your dad that the plumber was busy 114 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,468 so I just pushed the bed against the wall 115 00:05:21,502 --> 00:05:23,736 and put down a bucket where the bed was. 116 00:05:23,771 --> 00:05:25,172 Okay. We're gonna be selling the town, 117 00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:26,974 so it'll be someone else's problem soon. 118 00:05:27,008 --> 00:05:30,177 But it's such a great place to live. 119 00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:31,411 I think you're funny. 120 00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:34,381 Thank you. 121 00:05:34,415 --> 00:05:37,817 Um, look I know this probably isn't your thing, 122 00:05:37,852 --> 00:05:41,320 but there's a tailgate party later. 123 00:05:41,355 --> 00:05:44,090 It's not exactly clubbing but you know... close. 124 00:05:44,124 --> 00:05:45,424 I don't even know what 'tailgate' means. 125 00:05:45,459 --> 00:05:48,260 In my mind I'm picturing like a Klan rally. 126 00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:50,830 Yeah, just fewer pointy hats. 127 00:05:50,865 --> 00:05:54,400 It's just townies with un-ironic haircuts. 128 00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:56,135 Okay. I'm gonna pass I'm not really in the mood 129 00:05:56,169 --> 00:05:57,136 to be a victim of a hate crime tonight so... 130 00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,738 Okay. 131 00:05:59,772 --> 00:06:01,873 Stavros just posted three more photos. 132 00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:03,943 Who are these jenky women? 133 00:06:04,077 --> 00:06:06,145 Uh, from the looks of it they're blonde and mostly naked so... 134 00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:09,748 Is there a bar in this place 135 00:06:09,782 --> 00:06:12,551 or are we in one of those religo cult towns? 136 00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:13,785 I was just telling your brother about a party tonight. 137 00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:16,254 But he passed so... 138 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:19,457 Um, yes. Love that journey for me. 139 00:06:19,492 --> 00:06:22,561 Okay, so I'm looking for a guy like a mechanic 140 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:25,330 or someone that hammers stuff. 141 00:06:25,364 --> 00:06:29,367 Um, at least 5'7. Kind of like full lips. 142 00:06:29,402 --> 00:06:32,570 Athletic body. Maybe a neck tattoo would be cute. 143 00:06:32,604 --> 00:06:35,206 No, it wouldn't. 144 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,308 You know, I think this could be really good for me. 145 00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:40,178 So thank you. 146 00:06:40,212 --> 00:06:43,380 You're welcome. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. 147 00:06:43,415 --> 00:06:46,017 Having all that fun. 148 00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:48,886 Wow. 149 00:06:53,926 --> 00:06:57,161 So Johnny Rose wants the ol' Johnny Hancock, huh? 150 00:06:57,195 --> 00:06:58,562 Well... 151 00:06:58,596 --> 00:06:59,829 Shouldn't be a problem, Johnny. 152 00:06:59,864 --> 00:07:02,266 I'm happy to signoff on the listing. 153 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,301 Well, thank you, very much, Rolland, I appreciated. 154 00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:06,303 Sure. Why don't you come over tonight and pick it up. 155 00:07:06,337 --> 00:07:08,439 Mr. Mayor, that's not necessary. 156 00:07:08,473 --> 00:07:10,907 No, no. Roland, a signature, that's all I need. 157 00:07:10,942 --> 00:07:12,376 Johnny look, here is what you're gonna do; 158 00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:14,578 you're gonna grab the kids, you're gonna grab Moira, 159 00:07:14,612 --> 00:07:16,345 you're gonna come over we're gonna sit down like civilized people, 160 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:18,748 have a few laughs, 161 00:07:18,783 --> 00:07:21,284 and then at the end of the evening we'll get to the big signing, okay? 162 00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:23,987 Right. Okay. Honestly Roland, it's just a, 163 00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,389 it's just a signature. A flick of the wrist. That's it. 164 00:07:26,423 --> 00:07:28,592 You're not rejecting my hospitality, are you, Johnny? 165 00:07:28,626 --> 00:07:30,293 Because that really wouldn't be a good way 166 00:07:30,327 --> 00:07:32,728 to start things off, I don't think. 167 00:07:32,762 --> 00:07:36,566 No, no. I'd love to come to dinner are you kidding me? 168 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,234 No. I just thought, let's do business first, 169 00:07:38,268 --> 00:07:40,470 get the signature, and then dinner. 170 00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:43,973 Johnny, you want that, to get that you need this. 171 00:07:44,007 --> 00:07:46,209 So let's just do this my way. 172 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,811 Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, dinner is. 173 00:07:48,845 --> 00:07:51,513 Dinner it is, atta boy. Okay. 174 00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:57,920 How did you not get the contract signed, John? 175 00:07:57,954 --> 00:08:02,157 Can one thing, just one thing, not be easy in this town?! 176 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,459 Look Roland's playing games, honey, he's playing games. 177 00:08:04,494 --> 00:08:06,961 So this is something we have to do. 178 00:08:06,996 --> 00:08:08,896 Okay. Well, I would love to go, 179 00:08:08,931 --> 00:08:10,999 but I've actually double booked myself. 180 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:14,469 I'm going to a truck party um, with the front desk girl 181 00:08:14,504 --> 00:08:16,704 and obviously she'd be super devastated 182 00:08:16,739 --> 00:08:18,607 if I bailed last minute. So I can't. 183 00:08:18,641 --> 00:08:21,242 I can't go. 184 00:08:21,276 --> 00:08:22,644 Okay. Well, cancel it because you're coming to dinner. 185 00:08:22,678 --> 00:08:24,345 No. 186 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,047 One of you kids has to come. 187 00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,581 Davis, you've got nothing on tonight. 188 00:08:27,616 --> 00:08:28,850 How... how do you know that. 189 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,852 What do you have on tonight? 190 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,520 - What? - Good, it's settled. 191 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,355 Or you could go alone, John. 192 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,224 Since you are the one who did not get the contract signed. 193 00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:41,328 Moira, Roland wants the family there tonight, 194 00:08:41,363 --> 00:08:43,631 so my family has to go tonight. 195 00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,432 Let me explain something about business. 196 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,968 - Don't you dare... - It's a dance. 197 00:08:48,002 --> 00:08:50,971 And sometimes you lead. and sometimes you follow. 198 00:08:51,005 --> 00:08:52,273 And which are you doing now, John? 199 00:08:52,307 --> 00:08:55,108 I am leading, Moira. 200 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,610 In a Roland game I think you're following. 201 00:08:57,690 --> 00:09:00,926 Following in the game but leading in the dance, right? 202 00:09:04,197 --> 00:09:06,264 And he thinks he's leading in the dance, 203 00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:10,801 but only because I've allowed him to think... 204 00:09:10,836 --> 00:09:12,604 - Are you listening to this? - Hmm? 205 00:09:12,638 --> 00:09:14,805 It doesn't matter. I'm leading. 206 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,341 I'll shall bathe. 207 00:09:17,375 --> 00:09:21,245 And if I bang my head and slip beneath the surface, 208 00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:23,114 so be it, Mr. Rose. 209 00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:28,052 - What's this? - Uh yeah, Stevie called. 210 00:09:28,086 --> 00:09:31,188 Apparently the plumber's in rehab. 211 00:09:31,223 --> 00:09:34,858 And you also... you have something on your... 212 00:09:34,892 --> 00:09:36,794 I don't know what that is but it's a thing. 213 00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:40,129 David, for the gate party tonight is it more of a leather pants thing or... 214 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,330 Son of a bitch! 215 00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:48,475 Thanks for having us, Jocelyn. Thank you. 216 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,882 Make yourselves at home. Roland is just on the toilet. 217 00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:53,951 Oh, what a surprise. 218 00:09:54,055 --> 00:09:59,126 You have a really lovely home. It's really um, understated. 219 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,363 Thank you. I get a lot of my ideas from magazines. 220 00:10:02,397 --> 00:10:04,164 Don't be modest. 221 00:10:04,199 --> 00:10:07,667 This is 100 percent you and only you. 222 00:10:07,702 --> 00:10:10,971 Roland hey, okay. It's the Roses. 223 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,131 Come on, folk, please sit. 224 00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:18,301 Come on, I'm just the mayor for crying out loud. 225 00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:21,104 Ooh, hors d'oeuvres. Mmm. 226 00:10:21,138 --> 00:10:23,740 That's too bad about Alexis. 227 00:10:23,774 --> 00:10:26,509 Well, it is. But we did bring the life of the party. 228 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,011 Our David. 229 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,747 Well, I guess, that just means there is more for you and me, right Dave? 230 00:10:31,781 --> 00:10:34,383 I hope everyone likes a cheeseball. 231 00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:37,320 Cheeseball? 232 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:39,322 It's the treat that keeps our love life percolating. 233 00:10:39,356 --> 00:10:41,157 It's like an aphrodisiac with him. 234 00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:43,092 Go ahead. 235 00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:46,829 Oh yes, can't wait. Can't wait. Mmm. 236 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:51,767 So David, tell us about yourself I hear you're a gallerist. 237 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:54,136 Wow. There's a $10 dollar word. 238 00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:55,537 David owned a brilliant gallery. 239 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,172 Tell them about your last show. 240 00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:58,740 - It's not... - You must, please. 241 00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:00,975 Tell them, David, tell them. 242 00:11:01,009 --> 00:11:03,310 The gallery worked with Janet Kempfluugen. 243 00:11:03,345 --> 00:11:05,680 Kempfluugen? 244 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,382 She's a Brooklyn based performance artist she's a big deal. 245 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,952 Anyway um... she would walk into the space 246 00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:14,456 wearing a clay mask of a fawn, 247 00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:18,960 remove her clothing and breast feed members of the audience. 248 00:11:18,994 --> 00:11:21,362 It was a commentary on income inequality. 249 00:11:24,399 --> 00:11:26,000 Wow... 250 00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:27,568 Heady stuff. 251 00:11:27,602 --> 00:11:29,170 Well, hmm... 252 00:11:31,239 --> 00:11:32,305 Lipgloss? 253 00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:34,908 No thank you. 254 00:11:34,943 --> 00:11:36,376 I wish I could pull off the whole gloomy, no makeup look. 255 00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:38,712 It's so French. 256 00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:39,913 Thank you. 257 00:11:39,948 --> 00:11:41,448 So, why are you single? 258 00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,416 Who said I'm single? 259 00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:45,318 Girl, we're on the hunt. I hope you're single. 260 00:11:45,353 --> 00:11:47,754 Oh, no. I'm not "on the hunt". 261 00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,655 A town this size, you've either been through 'em 262 00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,024 or know a little too much about 'em. 263 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,792 Hmm. Okay. I'm gonna go do a lap 264 00:11:52,826 --> 00:11:55,161 and this swan is best when she flies solo. 265 00:11:55,196 --> 00:11:57,830 - So you're gonna be okay? - I live here. 266 00:11:57,865 --> 00:11:59,665 Okay. Am I good? 267 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:03,169 Yes? Okay. Thank Are you not cold- 268 00:12:03,204 --> 00:12:04,237 Chuck, beer! 269 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,243 I know it's gotta be in here somewhere, 270 00:12:11,277 --> 00:12:13,445 slippery little bastard. 271 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,215 Maybe a fork would help, Roland? 272 00:12:16,249 --> 00:12:20,052 Oh, that's sweet. Thank you. I'm okay. I'll find it. 273 00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:22,954 So is that the ah, contract over there? 274 00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:25,690 Yeah, it is. You know, I gotta be honest with you, 275 00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:28,793 I tried reading that thing it is really boring. 276 00:12:28,828 --> 00:12:30,529 Ah, got it! There she is! Okay. 277 00:12:35,035 --> 00:12:36,768 Ohh! Oh my God, honey... oh, that is good. 278 00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:40,739 That is good. 279 00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:43,742 I believe you were saying, John. 280 00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:47,045 Yes. This reminds me of a merger I put together in Zurich. 281 00:12:47,079 --> 00:12:49,280 It was two families breaking bread together. 282 00:12:49,314 --> 00:12:52,417 Ahh! Agh. My head. My head hurts. 283 00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:54,585 Oh no! Are you okay? 284 00:12:54,619 --> 00:12:57,121 Um, it think it's the migraines that I get a lot. 285 00:12:57,156 --> 00:12:59,924 Oh, I think... I think that'll pass, David. 286 00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:01,992 I don't think it's gonna pass. I don't think it's passing. 287 00:13:02,027 --> 00:13:04,462 Migraines can be so awful. 288 00:13:04,496 --> 00:13:06,264 Yeah, well, not this one. Not this one. 289 00:13:06,298 --> 00:13:09,100 Yeah, you know what? I... I think I need to go. 290 00:13:09,134 --> 00:13:11,334 I think you need to eat something and that will help. 291 00:13:11,369 --> 00:13:13,470 No, I think I need to go back. 292 00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:15,072 Take me with you please. 293 00:13:15,106 --> 00:13:16,406 David, sit down. Sit down. Sit back down. 294 00:13:16,441 --> 00:13:17,441 Jocelyn, thank you so much for dinner. 295 00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:19,276 Why don't you lay down on our mattress. 296 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:21,445 The sheets are in the dryer but there is rubber pad. 297 00:13:21,479 --> 00:13:24,448 - No. Thanks. - David! Don't go near the door. 298 00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:25,683 David! Do not open that door. 299 00:13:31,522 --> 00:13:33,523 I brought vodka as a house gift. 300 00:13:33,558 --> 00:13:35,858 I don't see it. 301 00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:52,775 That's what I say. Great. 302 00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:04,349 - I'm Twyla from the cafe. - Yeah. 303 00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:07,022 Yeah. Davis Rose. 304 00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:09,458 I'm a little drunk. 305 00:14:09,493 --> 00:14:13,162 - Hey. - Hey Stevie. 306 00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:16,398 I am going to roast myself a marshmallow. 307 00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:18,667 - Anybody? - No. Thanks. 308 00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:19,801 - You're all good? - No. 309 00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:23,605 Great. 310 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,306 I don't know why you were so reluctant to show up here. 311 00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:28,309 You fit right in. 312 00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:30,045 Well, my sister texted me "help". 313 00:14:30,079 --> 00:14:31,446 And my mind went straight to deliverance. 314 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,249 So I wasn't too far off. 315 00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:36,083 That's funny because your sister texted me from across the bonfire 316 00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:38,219 and said you'd probably show up here 317 00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:39,854 because you were bored and lonely 318 00:14:39,888 --> 00:14:42,157 and had nothing better to do. 319 00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:43,758 Well, my sister is a broken shell of a human being. 320 00:14:43,792 --> 00:14:44,992 That's where that's coming from so... 321 00:14:45,027 --> 00:14:47,629 Oh, okay. 322 00:14:47,663 --> 00:14:50,731 Oh. Well, she seems fine. 323 00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:53,834 Are you serious? That's so funny. That's so funny. 324 00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:56,203 So I guess you're free to go. 325 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,245 I'm gonna need a stiff drink to get through this. Stiff. 326 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:15,455 So Jocelyn, you were saying that you teach high school, 327 00:15:15,490 --> 00:15:17,457 or you want to finish high school? 328 00:15:17,492 --> 00:15:20,527 I'm not sure, I couldn't hear over your husband's chewing. 329 00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:22,362 I teach high school. 330 00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:24,664 Oh, you're a saint. 331 00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:28,568 I love it. I love connecting with the young people. 332 00:15:28,602 --> 00:15:30,703 Although I know those boys are undressing me every time 333 00:15:30,737 --> 00:15:32,971 I drop a piece of chalk. 334 00:15:33,006 --> 00:15:35,273 Yeah. Well, maybe we should hold onto our chalk, hmm? 335 00:15:35,308 --> 00:15:37,042 They're boys! It's cute. 336 00:15:37,077 --> 00:15:39,344 John... 337 00:15:39,378 --> 00:15:42,414 Oh, there it is! There it is! 338 00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:45,517 - The Vivien Blake bitch face! - Excuse me? 339 00:15:45,551 --> 00:15:47,151 I didn't want to say anything, 340 00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:51,323 but you were my favourite character on "Sunrise Bay". 341 00:15:51,357 --> 00:15:52,957 - Thanks. - It's true. 342 00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:56,160 He lived for "Sunrise Bay". 343 00:15:56,195 --> 00:15:58,563 I could be doing cartwheels in a thong 344 00:15:58,598 --> 00:16:01,666 in front of that television, which I have done, 345 00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:05,269 but if your show was on, I was as good as wall paper. 346 00:16:05,303 --> 00:16:07,138 Hey, how many people did you slap on that show? 347 00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:09,107 I don't care. 348 00:16:09,141 --> 00:16:11,242 She can't remember, there were so many slaps. 349 00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:12,844 Enough about me. 350 00:16:12,878 --> 00:16:17,648 Let's talk about you signing this contract. 351 00:16:17,682 --> 00:16:20,317 Well, somebody is in a little hurry, ain't she? 352 00:16:20,352 --> 00:16:22,553 No, no. We're not in a hurry. No. 353 00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:24,240 - Aren't we? - No. We're not. No. 354 00:16:24,241 --> 00:16:28,525 - Really? - There it is again! Bam! 355 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,194 - Okay, I'll tell you what, Vivien... - Moira. 356 00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,664 I will go ahead and sign off on the sale... 357 00:16:33,698 --> 00:16:36,133 - Good. - ... For a slap. 358 00:16:40,004 --> 00:16:42,305 Excuse me? 359 00:16:42,339 --> 00:16:44,707 I've always wanted to be slapped by Vivien Blake. 360 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:47,210 It's true. We've role-played it like a thousand times, 361 00:16:47,245 --> 00:16:49,612 but it's not the real thing. 362 00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:52,081 You'd like me to slap you? 363 00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:53,816 - Yeah. - I don't think... 364 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:56,118 Well, don't think. Just do it. Slap me. 365 00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:58,020 - He wants you to slap him. - I won't. 366 00:16:58,054 --> 00:16:59,221 - Slap him, Moira. - Go ahead and slap him. 367 00:16:59,256 --> 00:17:01,257 Slap my husband, Moira. 368 00:17:01,292 --> 00:17:02,759 - John, I won't! - Slap him or I'll slap him. 369 00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:04,727 - Slap me! - I won't. 370 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,996 - Slap me like a bitch! - Sign the fucking contract! 371 00:17:15,238 --> 00:17:18,274 Okay. 372 00:17:18,308 --> 00:17:21,610 Um... this has been a lot of fun, 373 00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:24,313 but I'm starting to smell a little too much like uh, campfire, 374 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,548 and denim and plaid and stuff so... bye. 375 00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:31,720 Your choices are beer or beer. 376 00:17:31,754 --> 00:17:34,656 I assume a pint glass is out of the question? 377 00:17:34,691 --> 00:17:36,325 You came! How was dinner? 378 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,026 Um... worse than this? 379 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,528 Although at this point it's sort of a moving target. 380 00:17:39,562 --> 00:17:41,062 Here hold this. 381 00:17:41,096 --> 00:17:43,064 So there are no guys for me here. 382 00:17:43,098 --> 00:17:45,166 But it was kind of nice to just like to flex the old muscle. 383 00:17:45,201 --> 00:17:47,101 Put your thumb over the tube. 384 00:17:47,136 --> 00:17:50,805 Agh, I kind of wanna just go for it but... 385 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,108 - But sometimes it doesn't work out, I guess. - Yeah. 386 00:17:54,143 --> 00:17:56,410 - Okay, put the tube in your mouth. - What? Uh... 387 00:17:56,445 --> 00:17:58,446 Yeah. Just open your throat. 388 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,381 And go down, 'cause you're tall. 389 00:18:00,415 --> 00:18:02,650 Okay. David, how long are you gonna be doing this? 390 00:18:02,684 --> 00:18:06,053 Okay, just come and get me after you vomit, okay? 391 00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:07,287 Just widen your throat! 392 00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:13,026 You! 393 00:18:16,097 --> 00:18:19,499 - Chug! - Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 394 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,702 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 395 00:18:30,678 --> 00:18:33,246 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 396 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,714 Are you ready? 397 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:58,004 And that's the last one there! Done! 398 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,174 Already. 399 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,676 There you go, Johnny, congratulations. 400 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,945 Thank you very much. Thank you. 401 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,615 Just remember one thing, okay? 402 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:13,385 This is my town and you're gonna play by my rules. 403 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:17,289 Comprende? 404 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,191 I'm just messing with you, man! 405 00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:22,794 Come on! 406 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,564 - Wow. - Or am I? 407 00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:29,600 No. I am. 408 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:32,337 - Moira! Shall we? - Yeah. 409 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,472 Jocelyn, thank you for an unforgettable evening, 410 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,641 I will be dining out on this for years. 411 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:37,875 I'll send you the recipes. 412 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:41,946 Yes, Jocelyn, words can't express. 413 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,816 Seriously, Johnny, good luck selling the town. 414 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,018 - You sure gonna need it. - Why's that? 415 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,054 Well, it took a while to sell the first time. 416 00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:52,924 I mean, it was on the market for like what 20 years 417 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,858 before you bought it. 418 00:19:54,892 --> 00:19:57,394 20 years? 419 00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:58,695 Yeah. I mean, most people just thought it was a waste of money 420 00:19:58,729 --> 00:20:00,364 that it would never sell, you know? 421 00:20:00,398 --> 00:20:02,066 Who in their right mind would buy it! 422 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,667 Then along came you. 423 00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:18,454 John! Did you know this town was on the market for 20 years 424 00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:19,540 before we bought it? 425 00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:21,763 How would I know that? W... why would I know that? 426 00:20:21,797 --> 00:20:23,999 I didn't know that. 427 00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:26,902 But look, let's look at the bright side... 428 00:20:26,936 --> 00:20:28,603 There is no bright side. 429 00:20:28,638 --> 00:20:30,972 This is the dark side of the moon, Johnny. 430 00:20:31,007 --> 00:20:34,410 And we'll be here another 20 years, tucked in a crater, lost to all. 431 00:20:34,444 --> 00:20:35,944 Johnny well, you know what? 432 00:20:35,978 --> 00:20:37,946 I think that's being a little dramatic. 433 00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:40,448 Yes! It's dramatic! 434 00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:44,519 Sweetheart! We got the thing signed, okay?! 435 00:20:44,554 --> 00:20:46,354 And if we have to fix this town up before we sell it, 436 00:20:46,388 --> 00:20:48,122 then we fix it up. 437 00:20:48,157 --> 00:20:50,458 We fix it up, bit by bit. 438 00:20:50,492 --> 00:20:52,226 And it's gonna take hard work but we can do it 439 00:20:52,261 --> 00:20:54,662 because we're Roses. 440 00:20:54,696 --> 00:20:57,798 - And there is nothing we can't do... - Hi... hi... 441 00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:00,701 - You're being super loud right now. - I can hear you thought the headphones! 442 00:21:00,735 --> 00:21:03,271 So if you can just wrap it up in here. 443 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,638 10 to a 5. Thanks. 444 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,811 I feel good about this. I really do. 445 00:21:20,937 --> 00:21:21,987 What the hell is this? 446 00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:23,021 The town sign. 447 00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:25,190 Bag boy at the grocery store. 448 00:21:25,192 --> 00:21:26,158 Which is what? 449 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,059 40, 45-something and hour? 450 00:21:28,061 --> 00:21:29,294 "Good riddance," 451 00:21:29,296 --> 00:21:30,929 is what they said. 452 00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:32,898 Are we having a bad day, honey?