Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS,"
HUGH GRANT - CREATOR OF "BLESS THE HARTS," WRITER EMILY SPIVEY --
AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK -- FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH VALERIE FRANCO
AND NOW SETH MEYERS. * Seth: GOOD EVENING.
I'M SETH MEYERS AND THIS IS "LATE NIGHT. HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT?
THAT'S GREAT TO HEAR, LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. PRESIDENT TRUMP'S PERSONAL
LAWYER, RUDY GIULIANI, HAS REPORTEDLY ASKED FOR $20 THOUSAND A DAY TO FIGHT THE
RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION THOUGH I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF JOE BIDEN CAN AFFORD THAT.
THAT'S RIGHT, RUDY GIULIANI HAS REPORTEDLY ASKED TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN FOR $20 THOUSAND A DAY
TO FIGHT THE RESULTS OF THE 2020 ELECTION WHAT
I THOUGHT THIS WAS LIKE A MAKE-A-WISH THING. YOU WANT TO GET PAID 20 GRAND?
AT BEST YOU SHOULD BE GETTING COLLEGE CREDIT EVEN THEN YOUR PROFESSOR'S GOING
TO SAY, "WELL, YOUR CLIENT WENT TO JAIL, AND SINCE HE WAS THE PLAINTIFF, THAT'S PRETTY BAD."
ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, 58% OF AMERICANS ARE WILLING TO GET THE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE ONCE IT'S
RELEASED WHILE THE OTHER 42% WILL WAIT UNTIL THEY'RE 35%.
THAT'S A MATH JOKE FROM BAYS INSTEAD OF TRAVELING TO MAR-A-LAGO NEXT WEEK, PRESIDENT
TRUMP WILL REPORTEDLY SPEND THANKSGIVING AT THE WHITE HOUSE WITH FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP.
OR WHICHEVER MELANIA HE CAN BOOK ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL, VICE
PRESIDENT-ELECT KAMALA HARRIS' FAVORABILITY RATING IS AT 51%, AND WHEN YOU ADJUST IT FOR
GENDER INFLATION, THAT'S LIKE A WHOLE 70%. "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE ANNOUNCED
YESTERDAY THAT ITS 2020 SEXIEST MAN ALIVE IS ACTOR MICHAEL B. JORDAN, AND I GOT TO
SAY, SETH B. HURT. THE FBI ARRESTED A MAN THIS WEEK WHO WAS WANTED FOR INVESTMENT
FRAUD AFTER HE TRIED TO ESCAPE AUTHORITIES USING AN UNDERWATER SCOOTER.
OFFICIALS FIRST BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THEY NOTICED HE OWNED AN UNDERWATER SCOOTER.
ALL RIGHT, I MEAN, SOMETHING'S OFF WITH THIS GUY, RIGHT AND FINALLY -- OF COURSE,
OFFICERS, I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. MY WALLET'S IN THE UNDERWATER
SCOOTER. COME ON, NOT NOW AND FINALLY, THE VIDEO SHARING
APP TIKTOK, YESTERDAY, ANNOUNCED NEW STRICTER PARENTAL CONTROL OPTIONS, CAUSE LET'S BE HONEST,
WE DEFINITELY GOT TO MAKE IT HARDER FOR THEM TO GET ON. AND THAT WAS A MONOLOGUE,
EVERYBODY. THAT LAST JOKE WAS WRITTEN BY MIKE SCOLLINS, THE WRITER WHO
DEFENDED HIS TANK TOP ON THE SHOW LAST NIGHT. AND WE HAVE A LOT OF REGRETS
TODAY AT THE SHOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT WE LET MIKE OFF THE HOOK FOR THE FACT THAT HIS TANK TOP
HAD A POCKET WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
HE'S TRULY ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTORS AND HE HAS AN EXCELLENT NEW SERIES ON HBO CALLED "THE
UNDOING. HUGH GRANT WILL BE HERE. SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
MY WIFE AND I WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF "THE UNDOING" TOGETHER
SO MAYBE, MAYBE SHE'LL WATCH THIS INTERVIEW IT'S 50/50, REALLY
I'M ON CHANNEL 4, ALEXI. YEAH YEAH, WE GET CHANNEL 4
AND SHE IS THE CREATOR OF "BLESS THE HARTS" ON FOX AND MY GOOD FRIEND FROM "SNL" DAYS,
EMILY SPIVEY WILL BE HERE. BUT BEFORE WE GET TO ALL THAT, PRESIDENT TRUMP AND SENIOR
MEMBERS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY ARE ENGAGED IN AN ASSAULT ON DEMOCRACY IN AN ATTEMPT TO HANG
ON TO POWER AND UNDERCUT THE LEGITIMATELY ELECTED NEXT PRESIDENT, JOE BIDEN, AND THEY
PUT RUDY GIULIANI IN CHARGE OF THEIR PLAN FOR MORE ON THIS IT'S TIME FOR
"A CLOSER LOOK."
*
Seth: LOOK, IT'S VERY LIKELY THIS DUMBASS COUP ATTEMPT BY TRUMP AND HIS GANG OF WEIRDO,
LOP-SIDED GOONS, OR AS I'M CALLING THEM, THE KOOKY CUCKOO COUP CREW WILL SUCCEED, BUT IT'S
ALARMING ENOUGH THAT THEY'RE TRYING AND WE ARE FINDING OUT RIGHT NOW
WHO IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WOULD BE WILLING TO GO ALONG WITH AN ACTUAL COUP ATTEMPT IN
THE FUTURE IF SAY AN ELECTION WAS MUCH CLOSER, OR IF THEY HAD ANOTHER CHANCE TO ACCEPT
CRIMINAL INTERFERENCE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY OR IF RUDY GIULIANI TRIED TO BREAK
INTO A BALLOT MACHINE TO CHANGE VOTES FOR TRUMP ONLY TO REALIZE IT'S A PINBALL MACHINE AT A
PIZZERIA IN YONKERS. "BOSS, GREAT NEWS, I GOT YOU 500 MORE VOTES AND AN EXTRA BALL."
YOU GOT THE SECRETARY OF STATE JOKING ABOUT A POSSIBLE COUP, THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY
INSISTING TRUMP WILL REMAIN PRESIDENT, PROMINENT FOX HOSTS STRAIGHT-UP DEMANDING THAT
REPUBLICANS REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION.
IS THE STATE DEPARTMENT CURRENTLY PREPARING TO ENGAGE WITH THE BIDEN TRANSITION TEAM,
AND IF NOT, AT WHAT POINT DOES A DELAY HAMPER A SMOOTH TRANSITION OR POSE A RISK TO NATIONAL
SECURITY THERE WILL BE A SMOOTH TRANSITION TO A SECOND TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION HE'S LEFT AN INFRASTRUCTURE IN PLACE WHERE COVID CAN BE
HANDLED. WE BELIEVE THAT WE WILL DO SO GOING FORWARD IN A SECOND TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW IS WHAT IN THE HELL IS THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY DOING TO DEFEND AND TO - I MEAN, WHY NOT JUST SAY, WE'RE NOT GOING TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS
OF THIS ELECTION Seth: I DON'T KNOW, WHY NOT JUST SAY LOU DOBBS SHOULD GET A
HEAD REDUCTION SURGERY, OR LOU DOBBS LOOKS LIKE A CHILD AT A WEDDING AFTER A MILLION BEE
STINGS, OR HOW DOES A 75-YEAR-OLD MAN HAVE HAIR THE SAME COLOR AS A BRAND-NEW PENNY?
THEY'RE NOT MAGIC WORDS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOU SAY THEM OR NOT.
YOU CAN'T GO TO A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT, GET AN X-RAY THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE A SPOON STUCK IN
YOUR ESOPHAGUS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE IT WASN'T PART OF THE MEAL AND THEN SAY, I REFUSE
TO ACCEPT THE RESULTS OF THIS X-RAY. SECOND, YOU'RE LIGHTING AMERICAN
DEMOCRACY ON FIRE, YOU FASCIST BOBBLE HEAD. THE VAST MAJORITY OF AMERICANS
ACCEPT THE OUTCOME OF THE ELECTION AND THE REALITY THAT IT WAS FREE AND FAIR, BUT
REPUBLICANS WHO LISTEN TO YOUR BULL [ BLEEP ] ARE STARTING TO ECHO YOUR DERANGED RHETORIC
ABOUT HOW IT WAS RIGGED. A POLL OUT TODAY FOUND THAT ABOUT HALF OF REPUBLICANS THINK
TRUMP WON THE ELECTION, AND IT WAS RIGGED AGAINST HIM AND LOOK, THE PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP
TO TRUMP RALLIES, YOU COULD PROBABLY GET THEM TO AGREE WITH ANYTHING TRUMP SAYS.
IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE UP YOUR DAY TO STAND IN A FIELD AND LISTEN TO THIRD-RATE STANDUP
COMEDY FROM A MAN WHO LOATHES YOU, YOU'RE WHAT THEY CALL PLIABLE.
NOW AS WE TOLD YOU EARLIER THIS WEEK, THERE ARE SOME REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS WHO HAVE MET THE
ABSOLUTE LOWEST BAR BY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT JOE BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT, AND SHOULD
BE TREATED AS SUCH ARKANSAS GOVERNOR ASA HUTCHINSON SAID, "I EXPECT JOE BIDEN TO BE
THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. AND OHIO GOVERNOR MIKE DeWINE
SAID, "JOE BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT." IT TELLS YOU JUST HOW SICK OUR
POLITICAL CULTURE IS THAT A REPUBLICAN OFFICIAL JUST ACKNOWLEDGING THE OBVIOUS AND
LEGITIMATE WINNER OF A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS SOMEHOW CONSIDERED A BRAVE, NOTEWORTHY
ACT. IT'S LIKE PICKING UP YOUR MORNING NEWSPAPER AND THE
HEADLINE SAYS, "YES, THIS IS A NEWSPAPER. DON'T WORRY, TV SHOW LIST AND
PUZZLES ARE ON THE BACK. AND YET ASIDE FROM THOSE RARE EXCEPTIONS, MANY REPUBLICAN
POLITICIANS REMAIN IN LOCKSTEP BEHIND TRUMP AS HE CONTINUES TO PRETEND HE HAS A PATH TO
OVERTURN THE ELECTION RESULTS AND DECLARE VICTORY. TEXAS LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR
DAN PATRICK, THE SAME GUY WHO SAID IN MARCH THAT OLD PEOPLE SHOULD BE WILLING TO DIE FROM
COVID TO KEEP THE ECONOMY FROM SHUTTING DOWN, SPELLED OUT TRUMP'S SUPPOSED PATH TO VICTORY
ON FOX NEWS.
VOTES IN GEORGIA AND ARIZONA
DIVIDING BIDEN AND TRUMP AND IF THOSE TWO STATES TURN, IF THEY DO, THEN THE SUPREME COURT
COULD MAKE THE DECISION ON PENNSYLVANIA AND THEN TRUMP IS PRESIDENT.
Seth: THE LAST PLAN I HEARD WITH THAT MANY INSANE CONTINGENCIES WAS MY COUSIN
EXPLAINING HOW HE'S GOING TO PAYBACK THAT LOAN. "IF THE LADY I DOG SIT FOR PUTS
ME IN HER WILL AND THEN SHE DIES, AND THEN IT GOES UNCONTESTED BY HER KIDS, I'M
GOING TO HAVE YOUR MONEY." BY THE WAY, DAN PATRICK IS ALSO THE DUDE WHO OFFERED A REWARD OF
$1 MILLION FOR EVIDENCE OF VOTER FRAUD IN TEXAS WHICH, I HAVE TO SAY, KIND OF
DISPROVES THE POINT YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE IF VOTER FRAUD IS SO COMMON THAT
IT COULD OVERTURN AN ELECTION, WHY DO YOU NEED TO OFFER $1 MILLION REWARD TO FIND SOME
EVIDENCE OF IT IN THE OLD WEST, WHEN THEY OFFERED REWARDS FOR OUTLAWS, IT
WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE HARD TO FIND THEY WEREN'T JUST SQUATTING
BEHIND A BARREL IN THE TOWN SQUARE -- HEY, I THINK THAT'S BILLY THE KID OVER THERE
CAN I HAVE MY MILLION NOW? BUT ANYWAY, THAT'S THEIR HAREBRAINED SCHEME, THEY WANT TO
SOMEHOW FLIP ARIZONA AND GEORGIA, AND THEN GO TO COURT TO GET PENNSYLVANIA TO THROW OUT
NOT JUST A FEW BALLOTS, BUT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BALLOTS AND HAVE THE SUPREME COURT HAND
THE ELECTION TO TRUMP. BUT APPARENTLY IN GEORGIA THE GUY WHO'S LEADING THE EFFORT TO
OVERTURN THE RESULTS IS GEORGIA CONGRESSMAN DOUG COLLINS THE GEORGIA SECRETARY OF STATE,
BRAD RAFFENSPERGER, WHO'S A REPUBLICAN, WENT SO FAR AS TO CALL COLLINS A LIAR AND A
CHARLATAN. NOW YOU MIGHT REMEMBER COLLINS AS THE INSANELY FAST TALKING
PERSON WHO TOOK A LEAD ROLE FOR REPUBLICANS DURING THE IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS.
WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THE LAW. THEY DIDN'T PUT IT IN THE
CONSTITUTION SO I'M NOT - I CAN YELL ON BOTH OF THEM.
I CAN TALK ABOUT BOTH OF THEM. I STILL HAVE NOT GOT A TRANSCRIPT
WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT IN THE WHITE HOUSE. STILL HAS NOT GOT THEIR STUFF.
I WAS TOLD I COULDN'T EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE BEEN STAFF CONVERSATIONS WELL BEFORE I WAS
TOLD I WAS ASKING -- ASKING TOO LATE HE SAID -- AS HE SAID HELP US AS
A COUNTRY BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING TO HEAL. Seth: HE SOUNDS LIKE HE'S
AUCTIONING OFF THE COCAINE FROM A DRUG BUST AFTER TAKING A TEST HIMSELF.
WE GOT ONE KILO, WE GOT TWO, WE GOT FIVE KILO, WE GOT GOLD PLATED GUNS.
WE GOT REGULAR GUNS. WE GOT TINY LITTLE GUNS. THEN THERE'S SOUTH CAROLINA
SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM, WHO ACCORDING TO RAFFENSPERGER, WHO AGAIN IS A REPUBLICAN, CALLED
AND PRESSURED HIM TO THROW OUT LEGAL BALLOTS.
BRAD RAFFENSPERGER SAYS HE'S COME UNDER INCREASING PRESSURE IN RECENT DAYS FROM REPUBLICANS
INTENT ON QUESTIONING THE VALIDITY OF LEGALLY CAST ABSENTEE BALLOTS IN AN EFFORT TO
REVERSE PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LOSS IN THE STATE IN AN INTERVIEW WITH "THE
WASHINGTON POST," RAFFENSPERGER SAID SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM ASKED HIM ON FRIDAY IF HE HAD
THE POWER TO TOSS OUT BALLOTS IN COUNTIES FOUND TO HAVE HIGHER RATES OF NONMATCHING SIGNATURES.
RAFFENSPERGER SAID HE WAS STUNNED THAT GRAHAM APPEARED TO SUGGEST THAT HE FIND A WAY TO
TOSS LEGALLY CAST BALLOTS. Seth: SO LINDSEY GRAHAM CALLED UP THE SECRETARY OF STATE
OF GEORGIA LIKE IT WAS A CASUAL SCHMOOZE AND SAID, HEY, BRAD, WANT TO DO BRUNCH?
ALSO, DO YOU HAVE THE POWER TO LIKE THROW OUT A BUNCH OF LEGAL BALLOTS AND HAND THE ELECTION TO
TRUMP? NOW, ACCORDING TO THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL" THERE WERE TWO
PHONE CALLS AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES WHO CONFIRMED WHAT GRAHAM SAID ON THOSE CALLS
AND EVEN WHEN GRAHAM TRIED DENYING IT, HE ACCIDENTALLY CONFESSED TO SOMETHING POSSIBLY
EVEN WORSE THAT HE'D BEEN CALLING ELECTION OFFICIALS IN OTHER STATES TOO
DID YOU NOT ASK HIM TO THROW OUT VOTES?
NO, THAT'S RIDICULOUS I TALKED TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU VERIFY SIGNATURES.
I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT MAIL-IN BALLOTING. I'M WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU VERIFY
A SIGNATURE. AND I THINK GEORGIA, I'VE TALKED TO DOUG DUCY IN ARIZONA, I'VE
TALKED TO THE PEOPLE IN NEVADA, WE'VE GOT CONTESTS ALL OVER THE NATION
Seth: SO BASICALLY LINDSEY GRAHAM CALLED STATES WHERE JOE BIDEN WON TO ASK ABOUT
VOTE COUNTS. I'D SAY THEY WERE THREATENING CALLS, BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR
LINDSEY GRAHAM TO SOUND THREATENING. HE HAS THE VOICE OF A GUY
OFFERING TO REDO YOUR VERANDA. "I FOR ONE CAN'T ENJOY AN ICE TEA ON MY PORCH SWING IF I'M
LOOKING AT CHIPPED PAINT." THIS IS THE TRADEMARK TRUMP DEFENSE, THEIR ONLY EXPLANATION
FOR THEIR BAD BEHAVIOR IS MORE BAD BEHAVIOR GRAHAM'S LIKE AN ARSONIST
DEFENDING HIMSELF IN COURT BY SAYING, WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE OTHER HOUSES I BURNED DOWN
YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT THAT, MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONES WHO NEED TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND LINDSEY, WE MIGHT TAKE YOUR WORD AT FACE VALUE, AND I MEAN MIGHT IF YOU HADN'T PROMISED TO
NEVER SUPPORT THE APPOINTMENT OF A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE IN AN ELECTION YEAR, AND THEN THIS
YEAR WHEN THAT WAS PUT TO THE TEST WITH AMY CONEY BARRETT, TOLD REPORTERS, I'VE SAID A FIB
BEFORE, BUT NOW I AIN'T FIBBING, NOW I'M SAYING MY FOR REAL THOUGHTS
SO THAT WAS THEIR ATTEMPT TO STEAL GEORGIA AND THEY FELL FLAT ON THEIR FACES
THEN THERE'S PENNSYLVANIA WHERE THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS SUING FOR REASONS.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP TRACK OF THEIR BULL [ BLEEP ] IT'S LIKE YOUR MOM AND DAD
TRYING TO TELL YOU A STORY AT THE SAME TIME. SO, WE'RE AT CHILI'S RIGHT
IT WAS AN APPLEBEE'S NO, APPLEBEE'S WAS TUESDAY, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WAITER WHO
DROPPED THE TRAY THAT WAS IN APPLEBEE'S FOR EXAMPLE, THEY'RE WORKED UP
OVER AN ELECTRONIC VOTING SYSTEM CALLED DOMINION. BECAUSE THERE WAS A SMALL AND
BRIEF REPORTING MISTAKE ON ELECTION NIGHT IN MICHIGAN BUT EVEN THE CONSERVATIVE
PRO-TRUMP "WALL STREET JOURNAL" EDITORIAL BOARD POINTED OUT THE UNOFFICIAL REPORTING WAS WRONG,
BUT THE UNDERLYING VOTES WERE COUNTED CORRECTLY. THE PRINTOUTS FROM THE TABULATOR
SHOWED ACCURATE TOTALS AND IN ANY CASE, THE MICHIGAN SECRETARY OF STATE'S OFFICE SAID
THE ERROR WOULD HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED DURING THE COUNTY CANVASS.
WHEN DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS REVIEW THE PRINTED TOTALS TAPE FROM EACH TABULATOR.
A REPUBLICAN COUNTY CLERK EVEN SAID THERE WAS NO MALICE, NO FRAUD HERE, JUST HUMAN ERROR
AND IF ANYONE SHOULD UNDERSTAND HUMAN ERROR, IT'S TRUMP. I MEAN, HE IS A HUMAN ERROR.
THE GUY COULDN'T PRONOUNCE THE WORD YOSEMITE, COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO CLOSE AN UMBRELLA AND
COULDN'T EVEN GET THE TOILET PAPER OFF HIS SHOE AFTER I GUESS TAKING A GIANT DUMP INSIDE THE
PRESIDENTIAL LIMO? I MEAN, I GET THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE A TRANSITION
MEETING WITH BIDEN, BUT CAN YOU AT LEAST GIVE HIM A HEADS-UP THAT HE SHOULD GET A DIFFERENT
RIDE YEAH, IN REGARDS TO THE LIMO, MIGHT BE EASIER JUST TO REPLACE
IT ANYWAY, THE CLAIMS TRUMP'S TEAMS HAVE BEEN MAKING ARE SO INSANE,
MOST LAWYERS WANT NO PART OF IT. THE TRUMP TEAM EVEN TRIED TO DELAY A HEARING IN FEDERAL
COURT, BUT AS A REPORTER FOR REUTERS NOTED, THE JUDGE WASN'T HAVING IT.
A FEDERAL JUDGE WON'T DELAY TOMORROW'S HEARING ON PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LAWSUIT TO OVERTURN THE
ELECTION HE LOST IN PENNSYLVANIA BECAUSE MOST OF HIS LAWYERS QUIT
HIS REMAINING LAWYER, WHO'S ALSO A RADIO HOST, WILL HAVE TO GO IT ALONE AND IS EXPECTED TO BE
PREPARED I MEAN, EVERY WORD OF THAT TWEET IS PERFECT
HE WANTS TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS OF A STATE HE LOST, BUT HIS LAWYERS QUIT, SO HE'S USING A
RADIO HOST AND THE JUDGE ACTUALLY NEEDED TO TELL THE RADIO HOST TO BE
PREPARED "OF COURSE I'M PREPARED. I BROUGHT MY SOUND BOARD, YOUR
HONOR. THIS WAS A FRAUD TO A DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE ALARMED!
[ AIR HORN ] I REST MY CASE." SO THEN TRUMP PUT RUDY GIULIANI
IN CHARGE. AND THIS WILL PROBABLY NOT SHOCK YOU.
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT GREAT FOR EXAMPLE, YESTERDAY THE PENNSYLVANIA SUPREME COURT RULED
AGAINST THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN, IN YET ANOTHER ONE OF THEIR RIDICULOUS LAWSUITS.
OF COURSE, RUDY NEVER MADE IT TO THE HEARING BECAUSE HE ACCIDENTALLY WENT TO THE
PENNSYLVANIA SUPREME FOOD COURT AT THE KING OF PRUSSIA MALL. "YOUR HONOR, I OBJECT!
"ALL RIGHT, SO DO YOU WANT THE CHICKEN TERIYAKI INSTEAD?" AND THEN YESTERDAY, REPORTERS
AND COURT OBSERVERS WHO WERE COVERING A TRUMP CAMPAIGN CASE IN FRONT OF A FEDERAL JUDGE IN
PENNSYLVANIA PULLED OUT INDIVIDUAL LINES FROM RUDY'S ORAL ARGUMENTS, AND THEY'RE JUST
A DELIGHT TO READ. I MEAN, HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES OF ACTUAL LEGAL ARGUMENTS FROM
RUDY GIULIANI, YOU KNOW THE GUY WHO WAS ONCE, AND THIS IS TRUE, THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY
ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CITIES. THE BIGGEST. "THOSE BALLOTS COULD HAVE BEEN
FROM MICKEY MOUSE, WE HAVE NO IDEA MISTER, THE MAN WHO WAS VERY
ANGRY AT ME, I FORGOT HIS NAME MAYBE I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY STRICT SCRUTINY."
INCREDIBLE IT'S LIKE WATCHING A LIVESTREAM OF A WINO DOING OPEN-HEART
SURGERY. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING AND WHY IS IT MOVING?"
"THAT'S THE HEART. "OH, SHOULD WE PUT IT BACK IN? THE TERM STRICT SCRUTINY IS ONE
OF THE MOST BASIC LEGAL CONCEPTS IN ALL OF LAW. BUT THEN, IF HE KNEW WHAT STRICT
SCRUTINY WAS HE'D HAVE GOTTEN HIS BOTTOM TEETH CAPPED AS WELL. IF YOU LAWYER SAYS THEY DON'T
KNOW WHAT STRICT SCRUTINY MEANS, THEN IT'S TIME TO GET SOMEONE NEW.
I MEAN THAT'S LIKE IF YOUR LAWYER GOT UP IN COURT AND ASKED TO CROSS EXAMINE A WITNESS, AND
THEN ASKED HIS QUESTIONS WITH HIS EYES LIKE THIS THIS WAS BY FAR THE BEST
EXCHANGE, IT SUMMED UP THE STUPIDITY OF THIS MORONIC LITTLE COUP ATTEMPT AS MUCH AS ANY
MOMENT COULD "GIULIANI: I'M NOT SURE WHAT OPACITY MEANS.
IT PROBABLY MEANS YOU CAN SEE? JUDGE BRAND: IT MEANS YOU CAN'T."
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE RUDY AT A SPELLING BEE THE WORD IS OPACITY.
CAN YOU USE IT INCORRECTLY IN A SENTENCE, PLEASE OH, RUDY
SWEET RUDY, I WON'T MISS TRUMP, BUT I ALSO WON'T MISS YOU. I HOPE WHEN THIS IS OVER YOU
TAKE A WELL-EARNED TRIP TO THE BAHAMAS. NO, I MEANT -- THE ISLAND --
NEVER MIND RUDY'S DERANGED PERFORMANCE WAS SUCH AN EMBARRASSING DEBACLE,
THAT EVEN CLOSE TRUMP ALLY MICK MULVANEY, TRUMP'S FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF, AND A GUY WHO IS
FULLY ON BOARD WITH THIS GROTESQUE ATTEMPT TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION SAID
TODAY, "I'M STILL A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT THE USE OF RUDY GIULIANI.
LAST NIGHT AFTER RUDY'S DISASTROUS BUNGLING OF EVERYTHING, HERE'S WHAT FOX NEWS
HOST SEAN HANNITY TOLD HIS AUDIENCE ABOUT RUDY'S PERFORMANCE.
IN PENNSYLVANIA, RUDY GIULIANI
ARGUED THE CASE TODAY. I'VE HEARD FROM MORE THAN A FEW PEOPLE THAT HE WAS ABSOLUTELY
BRILLIANT IN HIS ARGUMENTS TODAY. Seth: MAYBE HE WAS SAYING IT
THE WAY BRITISH PEOPLE USE "BRILLIANT" TO MEAN "FUNNY." DID YOU SEE MR. BEAN FALL DOWN
THAT ESCALATOR INTO THE SAVORY PIE DISPLAY? BRILLIANT, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
FUN FACT, THE ORIGINAL TITLE OF HANNITY'S SHOW WAS "MR. THE MAN WHO IS VERY ANGRY AT ME.
WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF SEVERAL CRISES COLLIDING AT ONCE THE DESTRUCTION OF AMERICAN
DEMOCRACY, A DEADLY PLAGUE THAT KILLED 1,500 AMERICANS JUST YESTERDAY ALONE.
AND WE'RE SEEING ONCE AGAIN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SIMPLY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT EITHER.
IT'S AN AUTHORITARIAN MOVEMENT WILLING TO WRECK THE AMERICAN SYSTEM AND STAND IDLY BY WHILE
AMERICANS DIE. EVEN AFTER TRUMP LEAVES OFFICE, WHAT WE'RE SEEING NOW IS THAT
TRUMPISM WILL VERY MUCH REMAIN AT LEAST WE CAN BE SURE THAT WHAT WE HERE AT "LATE NIGHT" ARE
CALLING THE KOOKY CUCKOO COUP CREW WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY FAIL. AND FOR NOW THERE WON'T BE -
A SECOND TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER LOOK." *
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH GRANT, EVERYBODY! *
Announcer: FOR MORE OF SETH'S "CLOSER LOOKS", BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON
YOUTUBE. * Seth: SITTING IN ON DRUMS
THIS WEEK, SHE PLAYS FOR POP ARTIST HAYLEY KIYOKO AND MILCK HER NEW PODCAST, "GAY CHURCH,"
IS OUT NOW, AND BE SURE TO FOLLOW HER ON YOUTUBE AND INSTAGRAM @SEEVALDRUM.
VALERIE FRANCO IS HERE GREAT TO SEE YOU, VAL. YOU KNOW OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT
FROM FILMS SUCH AS "NOTTING HILL," "LOVE, ACTUALLY," AND
"FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL." HE CURRENTLY STARS IN HBO'S LIMITED SERIES, "THE UNDOING,"
WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT 9:00 P.M LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
WHY WERE YOU THERE THAT NIGHT? OUTSIDE HER APARTMENT?
BECAUSE I WAS -- I WAS WALKING LIKE I ALWAYS DO I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS.
I'VE TOLD YOU THIS MANY TIMES. IT IS JUST SUCH A COINCIDENCE, ISN'T IT?
I WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER, AND -- AND YOU WERE THERE. JUST -- AS I WAS OR JUST HAD
BEEN WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME? WERE YOU FOLLOWING ME
WAS I FOLLOWING YOU WERE YOU? WERE YOU FOLLOWING ME?
Seth: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, HUGH GRANT
HOW ARE YOU, HUGH? VERY BAD. THANK YOU, SETH.
Seth: ARE YOU -- I MEAN, JUNKETS ARE NOT THE MOST FUN THING IN THE WORLD
DO YOU APPRECIATE -- DO YOU ENJOY THAT YOU JUST GET TO DO IT FROM HOME?
NOT AT ALL. MY -- I'M TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM HOME PERMANENTLY.
[ LAUGHTER ] I HAVE A LOT OF YOUNG CHILDREN I LOVE THEM, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO
BE ON AN AIRPLANE COMING TO SEE YOU AND STAYING IN A LOVELY HOTEL.
Seth: THAT'S VERY -- THAT'S VERY NICE TO HEAR, I WILL TAKE THAT AS NOT A CRITICISM OF YOUR
CHILDREN, BUT MORE HOW MUCH YOU ENJOY OUR TIME TOGETHER. YOU SPECIFICALLY, YES, YES.
Seth: WHAT -- THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL SHOW IT'S THE SHOW THAT NOT ONLY ARE
MY WIFE AND I ARE WATCHING, BUT I FEEL LIKE WE TALK TO WITH ALL OUR OTHER FRIENDS.
AND THIS IS A SHOW I WAS VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOUR WIFE ACTUALLY ENJOYS AS WELL.
IT'S WEIRD. FIRST OF ALL, IT'S LOVELY THAT YOU'RE WATCHING IT
I ALMOST BELIEVE YOU MY WIFE, YES SHE -- MY WIFE IS THE MAN IN OUR
HOUSE, REALLY. SHE LIKES VIOLENT FILMS, GANGSTER FILMS
WHILE I'M SITTING THERE WATCHING "ROMAN HOLIDAY" OR "SOUND OF MUSIC" OR SOMETHING.
SO SHE'S NEVER LIKED THOSE FILMS I DID IN THE PAST, WHICH WERE ALL ROMANCE AND STUFF.
BUT NOW, NOW SHE'S STARTING TO GET A TASTE FOR THEM AND SHE DID LIKE THIS SERIES, I
HAVE TO SAY. THOUGH NOT SO MUCH ME, MORE SHE'S IN LOVE WITH THE MURDERED
LADY'S HUSBAND, YOU KNOW, PLAYED BY ISMAEL CRUZ CORDOVA AND SHE'S VERY IN LOVE WITH THE
COP, EDGAR RAMIREZ'S PART. Seth: YEAH, WE HAD EDGAR HERE, I CAN SEE HOW SHE WOULD
FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM, VERY CHARMING YEAH.
IF YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF THING Seth: NO, I -- WHAT I -- I MEAN THIS SERIOUSLY.
DO YOU KEEP THE -- YOU KNOW, THIS IS A FANTASTIC WHODUNIT YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW WHODUNIT.
DO YOU KEEP THAT FROM YOUR WIFE OR DOES SHE BEG YOU FOR THE SPOILER?
SHE DID KNOW. BECAUSE ALTHOUGH SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN SHOW BUSINESS IN
ANY WAY AT ALL, SHE -- I BORE HER ABOUT ALL MY WORK. AND SO I, YOU KNOW -- TOOK HER
THROUGH ALL THE SCRIPTS AND ALL THE ISSUES BEFORE WE STARTED BUT YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS
YOU'RE BRINGING ME TOWARDS PRECIPICES OF DESTROYING MY OWN SHOW
Seth: I DON'T WANT IT I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT. BACK OFF.
Seth: I FEEL LIKE -- IT'S WEIRD. I WAS SAYING THIS TO SOMEONE
ELSE I FEEL LIKE IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE TIME WE'RE LIVING THROUGH,
THAT I LIKE THE ESCAPISM OF WATCHING A SHOW ABOUT A GRISLY MURDER
BUT I WOULD WANT TO DO NOTHING TO RUIN IT FOR MYSELF. YEAH, GOOD, GOOD.
IT IS WEIRD, ISN'T IT? Seth: IT IS IT'S WEIRD.
Seth: IT'S JUST LIKE, OH, I THINK IT'S ALSO KNOWING THAT THE SHOW -- BECAUSE IT'S A LIMITED
SERIES IT'S JUST NICE TO ENGAGE IN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW THAT YOU KNOW
HAS AN ENDING. YES YES, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU
MEAN I'VE -- THAT'S WHY I -- MAYBE I DO SO BADLY WITH -- WITH TV.
I CAN'T REALLY WATCH IT. I HAVE TO WATCH A SINGLE GAME OF TENNIS OR SOMETHING.
EVERYTHING'S TOO LONG. IT'S TOO LONG FOR ME NOW Seth: YOU'VE BEEN GIVING US
A -- CAUSE YOU WERE IN A FANTASTIC LIMITED SERIES THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I GET IT RIGHT. WAS IT A BRITISH SCANDAL OR AN
ENGLISH SCANDAL? "A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL," YES.
Seth: WHICH WAS, AGAIN, FANTASTIC. I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I ALSO
LOVED GOING INTO IT. I'M LIKE THREE EPISODES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE YEAH, WELL.
I AGREE WITH YOU BUT THEN, I THINK OUR ATTENTION SPANS HAVE SHRUNK DRAMATICALLY
Seth: WELL, I ALSO HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN I THINK THAT HAS A HUGE -- PLAYS
A HUGE ROLE. HOW OLD ARE YOURS Seth: 2 AND 4
YEAH, WELL, I HAVE ONE OF EACH OF THOSE. Seth: YOU DO?
HOW OLD ARE YOU, THOUGH Seth: HOW OLD AM I? I'M 46
YEAH, THAT -- THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT. Seth: YEAH.
PEOPLE SAY WE LOOK ALIKE. BUT YOU STILL LOOK PRETTY GOOD TWITTER SAYS I LOOK LIKE A PIECE
OF CRUMPLED NEWSPAPER. Seth: YOU CAN'T ENGAGE WITH THAT, DON'T LISTEN TO THEM
HEY, WE'RE GOING TO COME RIGHT BACK WITH MORE FROM HUGH GRANT *
Seth: WE'RE BACK WITH HUGH GRANT And I'M SETTING UP A SEGUE HERE,
I'M JUST GOING TO BE HONEST. BUT YOU ARE -- IN "THE UNDOING" YOU SHOOT SOME SCENES IN A
PRISON WAS THAT A WORKING PRISON? YES
Seth: IT WAS? WELL, IT'S SEMI-WORKING HALF OF IT'S GIVEN OVER TO FILM
PRODUCTION, AND THE OTHER HALF IS A REAL PRISON AND SO, YOU KNOW, I'M SITTING
THERE BEING -- HAVING MY MASCARA DONE, BEING BROUGHT EXACTLY THE RIGHT KIND OF LATTE AND THEN
SENDING IT AWAY BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND LITERALLY, FIVE FEET FROM
ME, THERE'S REAL PRISONERS THROUGH A BARRED DOOR IN STRIPY CLOTHES.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ACTUALLY HAD THEM IN AMERICA. I THOUGHT THAT WAS SORT OF FROM
THE PAST PUSHING LAUNDRY BASKETS AROUND Seth: DO YOU THINK -- YOU
KNOW, I WOULD IMAGINE THEY WOULD HAVE A GREAT AMOUNT OF DISDAIN FOR WATCHING YOU GET PREPARED
FOR FILMING. THEY ADORED ME. THEY'RE ONLY HUMAN
Seth: ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO SPEAK ABOUT -- BECAUSE THIS IS MY SEGUE
YOU WERE RECENTLY IN ANOTHER -- YOU WERE IN A FILM THAT TOOK PLACE IN PRISON, ABSOLUTELY MY
FAVORITE FILM OF 2018 WITH NO EXAGGERATION "PADDINGTON 2.
NOW HUGH, I SWEAR TO GOD, I HAVE HAD SO MANY CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE WHERE I WILL SAY TO THEM
OR THEY WILL SAY TO ME, "YOU KNOW WHAT MOVIE IS FANTASTIC 'PADDINGTON 2.'"
I DID NOT HAVE GRAND EXPECTATIONS FOR THIS FILM PEOPLE KEPT TELLING ME IT.
YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN IN THAT MOVIE. WAS IT AS MUCH FUN AS IT LOOKED?
NO. NO, I HATE MY WORK, AS I MAY HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE
YOU KNOW, I'M IN THIS PERMANENT STATE OF PANIC AND ANXIETY, BUT I DO ENJOY IT WHEN IT WORKS.
I HAVE TO SAY. WHEN THAT FILM, WHEN I FIRST SAW IT AND THOUGHT -
I SEE IT'S ACTUALLY -- IT IS -- IT IS A KIND OF MASTERPIECE EVEN IF YOU EXTRACT ME.
YOU KNOW PAUL KING MADE A MASTERPIECE I BELIEVE IT'S THE ONLY FILM ON
ROTTEN TOMATOES WITH 100% IN THE WORLD. SO I'M PROUD TO BE IN IT
Seth: I HAD -- THE WAY I WATCHED IT, AND THIS WILL AGAIN SOUND LIKE SOMEONE IN SHOW
BUSINESS COMPLAINING ABOUT A NICE THING BUT, AS YOU KNOW, EACH YEAR WE
SORT OF GET AWARD SCREENERS OF FILMS, ALL THE GREAT AWARD FILMS OF THE YEAR.
AND IN THE HOLIDAYS, I'M ALWAYS WITH MY FAMILY AND WE ALWAYS TRY TO FIND MOVIES
I THINK, "OH, THIS WILL BE GREAT. BUT A LOT OF THOSE MOVIES ARE
VERY HEAVY AND NOT PARTICULARLY FUN TO WATCH AT THE HOLIDAYS AND THAT WAS A DAY SOMEONE SAID,
"YOU KNOW WHAT I KEEP HEARING IS GREAT? AND WE WATCHED IT AND IT WAS
JUST LIKE CROSS-GENERATIONALLY A GIANT HIT. SO I WANTED TO ASK, DID YOUR
KIDS LIKE THAT WELL, I SET UP -- I WAS CONVINCED THEY WOULD
SO I SET UP A SPECIAL SCREENING FOR THEM THAT TAKES A WHOLE CINEMA, I
HAVE HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN. AND I GOT THEM IN THERE. AND THEY PRETTY MUCH HATED IT.
THEY KEPT WHISPERING TO ME, "WHY ARE YOU IN IT SO MUCH? ANYWAY, I MAKE THEM LIKE IT NOW.
THEY HAVE TO WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT AND TELL ME HOW GOOD I AM, OTHERWISE THEY DON'T GET FED
Seth: NOW DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. BECAUSE I -- YOU KNOW, I FOUND
YOU IN A LOT OF -- MOST OF THE THINGS I WATCH YOU WITH, YOU'RE ACTING AGAINST OTHER HUMAN
BEINGS SHOULD I BE CONCERNED, THOUGH, THAT YOUR BEST WORK WAS AGAINST,
YOU KNOW, A BEAR THAT OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT AN ACTOR ON SET? WELL, IT -- WELL, YES
IT WASN'T ANYTHING ALTHOUGH, MY FATHER BELIEVED IN THAT BEAR.
MY FATHER'S 90 AND I TOOK HIM TO THE BIG PREMIERE IN LEICESTER SQUARE IN
LONDON AND HE SAT NEXT TO ME, AND HALFWAY THROUGH THE FILM HE
TURNED TO ME AND HE SAID, "IS THAT A REAL BEAR?" [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND I HAD TO GO, "WELL, NO, DAD, NO, CAUSE HE'S TALKING SO, NO, HE'S NOT REAL.
ANYWAYS, SO I EXPLAINED ABOUT CGI. BUT IT IS, IT'S SUCH A BRILLIANT
PIECE OF CGI, I CAN SORT OF SEE THE MISTAKE. NO, WHEN YOU'RE ACTING WITH THAT
BEAR, THERE'S NOTHING. YOU CAN HAVE -- THEY HAD A VERY SMALL ACTRESS WHO WOULD READ THE
LINES FOR YOU, OR YOU COULD HAVE A STICK WITH A BEAR'S HEAD ON THE TOP, WHICH WAS FRANKLY TOO
CREEPY TO WORK WITH. OR YOU COULD JUST HAVE THE STICK AND I BECAME RATHER FOND OF THE
STICK. Seth: A CRAZY CROSS-OVER, NOT CROSS-OVER CASTING, BUT IT
SEEMED LIKE QUITE A COINCIDENCE THAT YOUR COSTAR IN "A VERY BRITISH SCANDAL,"
BEN WHISHAW, WAS THE VOICE OF PADDINGTON SO YOU DID NOT HEAR HIM AS
PADDINGTON UNTIL YOU SAW THE FILM I DIDN'T.
Seth: YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. I DIDN'T
SO THE WHOLE THING WAS WEIRD TO DO THAT -- BUT THEN I HAD TO DO A BIG PUBLICITY TOUR WITH
BEN. HE BECAME PADDINGTON TO ME SO THEN TO HAVE TO BASICALLY
RAPE HIM, AND THEN TRY AND KILL HIM, FOR THE WHOLE AUTUMN OF 2017, WAS WEIRD.
IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT Seth: I GUESS THAT'S ALL THAT -- I MEAN, I THINK IN A
VERY DIFFERENT "PADDINGTON 2," THAT'S THE PATH THAT STORY TAKES, AND I'M REALLY GLAD IT
DIDN'T WELL, MAYBE THAT'S "PADDINGTON 3.
[ LAUGHTER ] Seth: YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, SO YOU COULD GET OUT -- YOU COULD
GET OUT OF JAIL. HEY, HUGH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE
IT'S ALWAYS A DELIGHT TO SEE YOU. AND CONGRATS ON EVERYTHING
THANKS, SETH. THANK YOU. Seth: "THE UNDOING" AIRS
SUNDAY NIGHTS AT 9:00 P.M. ON HBO AND IS AVAILABLE TO STREAM ON HBO MAX
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EMILY SPIVEY *
Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING WRITER WHO YOU KNOW FROM HER WORK ON
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND THE MOVIE "WINE COUNTRY. HER SHOW, "BLESS THE HARTS,"
AIRS ON SUNDAY NIGHTS ON FOX LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
THERE SHE IS! THE PAULA ABDUL OF GREENPOINT. AND THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE
CAROLINA PANTHER CHEERLEADING SQUAD. HOW'D THE AUDITION GO?
YOU GUYS, I'M SURE I DIDN'T GET IT SOME OF THOSE GIRLS HAVE DANCED
ON CRUISE SHIPS. HUSH, JENNY, YOU'RE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF GREENPOINT
YOU'LL SPEND A YEAR OR TWO AS A PANTHERS GIRL, THEN GO THE J. LO ROUTE.
SEDUCE A MUSIC PRODUCER, MAKE A MINT FOR ALL OF US, THEN STAR IN AN EPIC FLOP WITH BEN AFFLECK
AND COME OUT EVEN STRONGER AND ONCE YOU MAKE THE TEAM, I'M COMING WITH CAUSE YOU'RE
GOING TO NEED AN ENTOURAGE, YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT HBO SHOW, "ARLISS.
Seth: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, OUR VERY GOOD FRIEND EMILY SPIVEY
HOW YOU DOING, SPIVES? HI, I'M DOING SO GOOD, SETH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, OH MY
GOD. Seth: IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AS WELL.
WE STARTED ON THE SAME DAY AT "SNL" IN 2001. OH MY GOD
Seth: AND I WILL -- YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T LIKE WATCHING TWO PEOPLE REMINISCE, YOU KNOW, FLIP
OVER TO SOMEWHERE ELSE BECAUSE WE HAD GREAT YEARS TOGETHER. YEAH.
Seth: BUT I'M WONDERING IF YOU, WATCHING THE SHOW THIS YEAR, IF YOU WISH THAT YOU'D
BEEN WRITING THERE DURING THIS ELECTION CYCLE OR DREADING IT? OOH, I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS.
I MEAN, HOW DO YOU FEEL? I FELT RELIEVED THAT I COULD JUST WATCH IT.
BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW, WE DID -- YOU MADE T-SHIRTS, SETH. IT WAS CALLED THE GAUNTLET
WE DID EIGHT -- WAIT, WAS IT TEN EPISODES OF EIGHT WEEKS, RIGHT Seth: YEAH, I THINK TEN
EPISODES IN EIGHT WEEKS BECAUSE WE WERE DOING "THE WEEKEND UPDATE" THURSDAYS.
AND I, OF COURSE, WAS WEIRDLY PREGNANT IT'S NOT WEIRD TO BE PREGNANT,
BUT IT FELT WEIRD TO BE PREGNANT DURING THIS TIME, AND I HAD MORNING SICKNESS AND WAS JUST
SITTING THERE GOING -- BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT WAS AMAZING BECAUSE I REMEMBER
SITTING WITH PAULA AND TINA IN THAT WEIRD LITTLE TINY OFFICE ON NINE WATCHING TINA REHEARSE
DOING SARAH PALIN. SO IT WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE PART OF HISTORY.
BUT STILL, OOH Seth: YEAH. NO, NO.
Seth: I MEAN, THE FACT THAT THEY DID SIX SATURDAYS IN A ROW, I AM NOT JEALOUS OF AT ALL
BUT I REALLY DO THINK THEY DID AN INCREDIBLE JOB. AND YOU WERE A HERO, SETH
YOU REALLY -- I MEAN, LISTEN TO ME YOU DESERVE -- EMMYS SHOULD BE
RAINING DOWN FOR YOU FOR THE WORK YOU DID ON THAT, I MEAN, COME ON.
Seth: WE TALKED A LOT ABOUT SECOND CHANCE THEATER WITH MY OLD COHORTS OF THE SHOW.
YES Seth: WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR WORST, MOST DELICIOUS BOMBS
UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH LORNE OH, MY GOD. THERE'S ALMOST TOO MANY TO
COUNT. Seth: WHAT WAS CHICKEN McNUGS
WELL, CHICKEN McNUGS WAS -- OKAY, IT WAS MATT DILLON WAS THE HOST
AND HE WAS SORT OF A HOTSHOT BOYFRIEND TO RACHEL DRATCH, WHO WAS SORT OF PLAYING LIKE A
LITTLE -- YOU KNOW, A GIRL WITH LOTS OF CATS AND SCENTED CANDLES WHO COULDN'T GET A BOYFRIEND
SO HE BROKE UP WITH HER IN A MISERABLE WAY. SO THEN, SHE JUST HAULS IT TO
McDONALD'S AND BUYS 500 THOUSAND CHICKEN McNUGGETS, ALL SAUCES, AND IT BECAME A MUSICAL, ALL
RIGHT? I'VE NEVER SEEN LORNE SO ANGRY [ LAUGHTER ]
HE SAID -- IT WAS JUST -- IT'S SO -- YOU KNOW, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE HE WAS SO
UPSET. AND BY THE WAY, I WAS UPSET TOO. I DON'T -- I DON'T BLAME LORNE
BUT HE DID THROW -- HE THREW THE HEADSETS ON THE FLOOR. AGAIN, I DON'T BLAME HIM
AND THEN, I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, I'M OUT. I WALKED TO THE ELEVATORS.
FIRST, I WALKED UP TO MAYA'S OFFICE, GOT MY BACKPACK AND MY COAT, WENT DOWN TO THE STREET,
HELD UP MY LITTLE HAND, WAS ABOUT TO GET A CAB AND THEN I GOT A CALL, LORNE
WANTS TO SEE YOU SO I WENT BACK UP AND HE APOLOGIZED
BUT STILL, I FELT TERRIBLE LIKE, THE WHOLE THING WAS A DISASTER
BUT -- I DON'T KNOW. THAT IS -- THAT WAS THE WORST -- THAT WAS A REALLY SAD STORY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LORNE, BY THE WAY. I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD BIRTHDAY
DAY. [ LAUGHTER ] Seth: IT SHOULD BE NOTED.
I MEAN, IT IS -- IT IS INTENSELY STRESSFUL TO BE UNDERNEATH THE BLEACHERS WITH LORNE
OH, MY GOD. Seth: YOU MENTIONED THE HEADSET.
HE IS WEARING A HEADSET THAT IS PLUGGED DIRECTLY INTO THE MONITOR.
YES Seth: SO THAT HE CAN GET -- HE CAN GET JUST LIKE MAINLINE
THE SKETCH INTO HIS EARS YES, SO HE'S HEARING IT, AND I'M KIND OF NOT HEARING IT --
AND YEAH AND SO -- AND THEN, DAVID MACK WILSON WAS ANOTHER
SKETCH WHERE RACHEL DRATCH PLAYED A LITTLE BOY, AND LORNE, IT WAS -- SHE PLAYED A CHILD
ACTOR, AND IT WAS REAL QUIET AND LORNE TURNED TO ME IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, AND HE WAS LIKE,
"THIS IS ALMOST BRECHTIAN," IN A WITHERING WAY. AND I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T REALLY
EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS," BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD [ LAUGHTER ]
I KNOW BRECHT. BUT ANYWAY - SO THERE WAS JUST A LOT OF -- SO
MANY - SO MANY HOT FARTS UNDER THAT BLEACHERS, CAUSE THE NERVES, IT
WAS TERRIBLE Seth: IT SHOULD NOTE, LEST ANYBODY SHOULD DOUBT, THAT YOU
ALSO HAD MONSTER HITS IN YOUR TIME ON THE SHOW OH, SETH, YOU'RE SO SWEET
Seth: YOU AND MAYA WERE FRIENDS AT THE GROUNDLINGS YOU WROTE DONATELLA VERSACE.
OH GOD. Seth: AND I MENTIONED TO YOU, I RAN INTO HER RECENTLY.
AND I ONLY SORT OF -- I HAD NO AWARENESS OF HER UNTIL YOU DID THIS SKETCH.
AND SHE WAS VERY COMPLIMENTARY SHE ENJOYED IT SHE DID
SHE HAD A VERY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. YOU KNOW, AS -- I THINK
EUROPEANS HAVE BETTER SENSE OF HUMORS ABOUT THEMSELVES, YOU KNOW
LIKE SHE WAS -- THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY AND ADORED MAYA SHE GAVE US BOTH VERY EXPENSIVE
WATCHES. WHICH, ONE, I STILL HAVE, BUT I CAN'T WEAR IT CAUSE IT'S BANANAS
LOOKING. [ LAUGHTER ] BY THE WAY, HUGH GRANT
I MEAN, CAN YOU STAND IT HE IS SO CUTE. Seth: YOU -- ONE THING THAT I
KNOW YOU'VE USED SOME OF YOUR WRITING FOR AND SOME OF THE REJECTED SKETCHES, AND I'VE
TALKED TO AMY POEHLER ABOUT THIS, TINA FEY ABOUT THIS. THERE IS A TEXT CHAIN OF WOMEN
WHO WORKED ON THE SHOW THAT I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO CROSS OVER WITH
AND YOU GUYS DID A ZOOM TALENT SHOW WITH YOUR CHILDREN THAT IS ALREADY LEGENDARY.
IS IT I WISH IT WAS. YEAH
I -- MY SON, ROWE, WON THAT TALENT SHOW. HE DID A VERY CONFUSING SKETCH
THAT I HAD WRITTEN FOR STEVE MARTIN AND SETH, IT WAS SUCH A SPIVEY
SPECIAL. I DON'T MEAN TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF IN THIRD PERSON
BUT IT WAS CALLED -- IT WAS, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROCKING GOOD TIME WITH STICK TO YOUR RIBS
GRUB AND ENTERTAINMENT YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF DOWN TO ROCKING R'S AND CAPTAIN T'S
SMOKING RIBS AND STUFFING BLUES AND SUCH [ LAUGHTER ]
SO THE IDEA WAS JUST THIS RIDICULOUS RESTAURANT WHERE YOU POKED, YOU KNOW -- YOU ATE
MASHED POTATOES OUT OF AN OLD BOOT, OR YOU POKED A DONKEY IN THE EYE.
LIKE IT WAS JUST STUPID. AND ROWE WENT ON AND READ ALL THESE CRAZY LINES TO A GROUP OF
AMAZING, I MEAN -- HOW DID I EVEN GET IN THIS GROUP ANDREA MARTIN, TINA FEY,
PAULA PELL, JON HAMM AND HE WAS AMAZING AND HE WON THE TALENT SHOW, ACCORDING TO
ALL THE TANGLETS, WHICH IS WHAT WE CALL THE TANG KIDS, THE LITTLE TANGLETS.
[ LAUGHTER ] Seth: NOW, IT SHOULD BE NOTED, THE TANG IS
IT IS A -- A TEXT CHAIN THAT I HAVE WITH PAULA PELL, TINA FEY, ANA GASTEYER,
RACHEL DRETCH, MAYA RUDOLPH, AND ME, WHO AM I LEAVING OUT AMY POEHLER.
Seth: THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD GROUP OF PEOPLE. I MEAN, IT'S THE FUNNEST.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD -- THE FUNNEST. I DON'T KNOW WOULD WHAT I WOULD
DO WITHOUT IT. [ LAUGHTER ] I WOULD NOT GET THROUGH THIS
LIKE TURD HOAGIE THAT IS 2020 WITHOUT THE TANG. Seth: THE FUNNEST
THERE YOU ARE BEING BRECHTIAN AGAIN. OH, SO BRECHTIAN.
HE WAS SO WITHERING WHEN HE SAID THAT, I WAS LIKE, "CAN I KILL MYSELF?"
[ LAUGHTER ] Seth: I REMEMBER YOU AND AMY AT THE READ-THROUGH TABLE WERE
CLOSE ENOUGH THAT YOU COULD PASS NOTES. YES
Seth: I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO DRATCH DRATCH AND I WERE NOTE SHARERS
YES Seth: AND IT WAS A GREAT GIFT BECAUSE THOSE WERE THE MOST
STRESSFUL TIMES OF THE WEEK. OH MY GOD, HORRIBLE Seth: HOW WAS -- WERE YOUR
NOTE PASSING DAYS WITH POEHLER WONDERFUL? OH, MY GOD, THEY WERE SO --
WELL YOU KNOW, LIKE, CONSTANTLY - ALSO, SETH, NEXT TIME I'M ON, OR
MAYBE AT MY FUNERAL WHEN YOU'RE SPEAKING AT MY FUNERAL, I'LL READ WHAT YOU -- CAUSE WE USED
TO PASS NOTES TOO. BUT MY FAVORITE NOTE THAT POEHLER EVER PASSED ME WAS, I
THINK, YOU KNOW, JOSTIE -- COLIN JOST USED TO COME IN LOOKING LIKE HE'D RUN THROUGH
SPRINKLERS ALL THE WAY TO 30 ROCK. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HIS HAIR WAS SO -- YOU KNOW THAT BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF HAIR, SOAKING WET.
Seth: YEAH. LIKE, JOSTIE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ANYWAY
SO HE CAME IN SOPPING WET. IT WAS LIKE A JOST WET T-SHIRT CONTEST, CAUSE HE JUST HAD ON A
WHITE SHIRT, YOU COULD SEE HIS NIPS AND HIS CHEST HAIR. AND THEN, ME AND POEHLER WERE
LIKE, "OH. AND THEN, POEHLER PASSED ME A NOTE THAT SAID, "I LIKE JOSTIE
IN THE ARM AREA. [ LAUGHTER ] Seth: I DON'T KNOW, I FEEL
LIKE SOMEBODY SHOULD READ THAT AT JOST'S FUNERAL. LISTEN, MAYBE WE'LL BE BURIED
TOGETHER YOU KNOW WHAT, SETH, IS JOST - LISTEN, SETH, IS JOST OKAY
BECAUSE I'M WORRIED. WHY ARE YOU WORRIED BECAUSE WHO -- CAN HE FIND A
GIRLFRIEND HOW IS HIS CAREER GOING? Seth: OH, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'VE HEARD, HE'S DOING EXCELLENT. RIGHT
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON. OH PLEASE, JOST, ARE YOU OKAY, BABY
[ LAUGHTER ] Seth: I THINK HE'S DOING JUST FINE
AND I ALSO -- YOU KNOW, EVEN IN THAT CLIP, WE HEARD SOME OF OUR FRIENDS -- OBVIOUSLY IN "BLESS
THE HARTS," THAT WAS KRISTIN, THAT WAS MAYA. AND I KNOW YOU HAVE SOME GREAT
GUEST VOICES COMING UP THIS YEAR AS WELL. OH, MY GOD, WE HAVE SO MANY
WE HAVE HOLLY HUNTER, WE HAVE MARY STEENBURGEN, WHO IS MY HEART.
WE HAVE JON HAMM JON HAMM'S JON HAMM, WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SETH
SKETCHES WE HAVE SAL VULCANO FROM "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS.
Seth: YEAH, THE JOKERS. I'M OBSESSED WITH "IMPRACTICAL JOKERS.
OBSESSED WHO ELSE DO WE HAVE? NATASHA LYONNE AND FRED ARMISEN.
Seth: THAT'S GREAT. YEAH. Seth: WELL, SPIVEY, NEEDLESS
TO SAY, IT IS ALWAYS WONDERFUL SEEING YOU YOU'RE THE BEST.
SO ARE YOU, SETHLY. Seth: AND I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU TOO, BABE.
OH MY GOD SETH, I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE THIS SHOW WILL YOU PUT THIS ON THE SHOW?
YOU GOT ME THROUGH 2020. Seth: YOU'RE TOO KIND I MEAN SERIOUSLY, YOUR
"CLOSER LOOKS" AND EVERYTHING ELSE, IT'S LIKE THE VOICE OF REASON
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH Seth: I'LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, SPIVE.
ALL RIGHT Seth: "BLESS THE HARTS" AIRS SUNDAYS ON FOX
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. * Announcer: FOR MORE
"LATE NIGHT," GO TO LATENIGHTSETH.COM. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM AND
TWITTER @LATENIGHTSETH AND BE SURE TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE AND FACEBOOK
HEAD OVER TO iTUNES TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" PODCAST
YOU'LL GET "A CLOSER LOOK" AND MORE DOWNLOADED RIGHT TO YOUR PHONE.
Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS, HUGH GRANT AND EMILY SPIVEY
I WAN TO THANK VALERIE FRANCO AND THE 8G BAND. STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH."
STAY SAFE. WASH YOUR HANDS. WEAR A MASK.
WE LOVE YOU. *