1 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,315 Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS," 2 00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:19,819 DAN AYKROYD, STAR OF "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," ACTRESS ANYA TAYLOR-JOY, 3 00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:25,191 AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK, FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH CARTER McLEAN. 4 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,761 CARTER McLEAN. AND NOW, SETH MEYERS 5 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:29,429 Seth: WELCOME TO "LATE 6 00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,398 NIGHT. HOW IS EVERYBODY DOING THAT'S GREAT TO HEAR 7 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:36,102 WELL, IT'S DAY SIX OF TRUMP WATCH. HE IS STILL REFUSING TO LEAVE 8 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:39,172 THE WHITE HOUSE, BUT WE DO HEAR HE'S WILLING TO SPEAK TO NEGOTIATORS. 9 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:43,643 "I WANT $400 MILLION, A COPY OF "SWANK" AND ONE OF THOSE DORITOS LOCOS TACOS. 10 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:48,682 LET'S GET TO THE NEWS. PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN HAS SELECTED HIS LONG-TIME POLITICAL 11 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:53,486 ADVISOR, RON KLAIN, TO BE HIS WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF AND IF THIS IS THE KIND OF 12 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:57,624 PRESIDENCY I HOPE IT IS, THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME WE EVER HEAR HIS NAME. 13 00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,661 AFTER BEING SELECTED TO THE WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF, KLAIN SAID THE JOB WOULD BE, 14 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:05,165 QUOTE, "THE HONOR OF A LIFETIME." AS OPPOSED TO THE TRUMP 15 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,501 ADMINISTRATION WHERE THE POSITION OF CHIEF OF STAFF WAS MORE LIKE THE HONOR OF A MONTH 16 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:12,839 OR TWO PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN IS REPORTEDLY PLANNING TO REVERSE 17 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:16,543 PRESIDENT TRUMP'S IMMIGRATION POLICIES THAT'S RIGHT 18 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:23,216 HE'S GOING TO TEAR DOWN THE BLUEPRINTS FOR THE WALL! FOUR SENIOR OFFICIALS AT THE 19 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:27,354 PENTAGON THIS WEEK WERE FIRED OR RESIGNED SAID TRUMP, "ONE FROM EACH SIDE 20 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:32,492 OF THE BUILDING. TWITTER CONFIRMED THIS WEEK THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL BE SUBJECT 21 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:36,529 TO THEIR RULES JUST LIKE ANY OTHER USER ONCE PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN TAKES OFFICE ON 22 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:42,335 JANUARY 20th "SAME," SAID THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK 23 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:46,106 NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO, YESTERDAY, ANNOUNCED NEW CORONAVIRUS RESTRICTIONS, 24 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:52,379 INCLUDING A 10:00 P.M. CURFEW FOR BARS, RESTAURANTS AND GYMS THOUGH IF YOUR HUSBAND WAS 25 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:57,650 LEAVING FOR THE GYM AT 10:00 P.M., HE'S CHEATING ON YOU AFTER IT WAS ANNOUNCED HE'D 26 00:01:57,650 --> 00:02:02,589 CONTRACTED THE CORONAVIRUS, NEBRASKA STATE SENATOR MIKE GROENE SAID, QUOTE, "I 27 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:09,129 FINALLY GOT MY WISH AND CONTRACTED THE COVID-19 VIRUS. "OKAY, WELL, TWO LEFT," SAID A 28 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:16,770 BAFFLED GENIE. [ LAUGHTER ] ORGANIZERS ANNOUNCED YESTERDAY 29 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:21,675 THEY'D SELECTED THE 2020 ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE, A 75-FOOT TALL, 30 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:27,147 11-TON NORWAY SPRUCE FROM ONEONTA, NEW YORK. OF COURSE, BECAUSE OF COVID, 31 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:33,820 IT'S GOING TO WORK FROM HOME [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GOT TO LEAN INTO THE SHOT 32 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,757 A COMPANY IN JAPAN RECENTLY BEGAN PRODUCING RUBBER MASKS THAT RESEMBLE PRESIDENT-ELECT 33 00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:41,928 JOE BIDEN. AND AT THIS POINT, TRUMP'S NOT ABOVE TRYING IT. 34 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:45,532 "HELLO, I'M PRESIDENT SLEEPY JOE. I'M IN CHARGE NOW. 35 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:49,769 TIME FOR MY NAP. BYE-BYE. AND FINALLY, RESEARCHERS HAVE 36 00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:54,140 RECENTLY DEVELOPED FACIAL RECOGNITION FOR BEARS, SO NOW THEY CAN FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHO 37 00:02:54,140 --> 00:03:00,814 ATE ALL THE MARMALADE IN THE KITCHEN. KAREN WROTE THAT JOKE. 38 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:07,821 ONCE AGAIN, PROVING OUR MOST ADORABLE WRITER DOES THE MOST ADORABLE JOKES 39 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,557 THAT WAS A MONOLOGUE WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 40 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:14,694 THE ONE AND ONLY DAN AYKROYD WILL BE HERE I'M SO EXCITED TO TALK TO HIM. 41 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:19,833 AND SHE IS THE STAR OF THE HIT NETFLIX SHOW, "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," ANYA TAYLOR-JOY IS 42 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,369 HERE THAT SHOW IS FANTASTIC I CAN'T WAIT TO TALK TO HER 43 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,405 ABOUT THAT BUT BEFORE WE GET TO ALL OF THAT, EVERY TIME PRESIDENT TRUMP 44 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:30,343 AND HIS CAMPAIGN FILE A DUMB NEW LAWSUIT OR SPREAD A NEW LIE ABOUT VOTER FRAUD, THEY QUICKLY 45 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:33,713 GET BATTED DOWN AND THIS WILL SHOCK YOU, IT'S ALL A GIANT GRIFT. 46 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,448 FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR "A CLOSER LOOK." 47 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:42,455 * Seth: WELL, PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS NOW ENTERED THE "FLUSHING 48 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:47,293 HIS WEED WHILE THE COPS POUND ON THE DOOR" STAGE OF HIS PRESIDENCY 49 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:51,765 EVERYONE WHO INHABITS THE WORLD OF OBSERVABLE REALITY FROM A MAJORITY OF AMERICANS TO WORLD 50 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:56,136 LEADERS, TO EVEN SOME REPUBLICAN STATE OFFICIALS, HAS ACCEPTED THAT TRUMP LOST AND JOE BIDEN IS 51 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,839 THE PRESIDENT-ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES. EVEN SOME OF TRUMP'S CLOSEST 52 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:03,576 FRIENDS AND ALLIES ON THE WORLD STAGE HAVE ABANDONED HIM, LIKE BRITISH PRIME MINISTER, 53 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,714 BORIS JOHNSON. NOT ONLY ARE THEY CLOSE FRIENDS AND ALLIES, BUT THEY LOOK LIKE 54 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:12,652 ESTRANGED HALF BROTHERS WHO CAME FROM THE SAME SPERM DONOR, AND I'M GUESSING THAT SPERM DONOR 55 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:20,393 WAS NICK NOLTE'S MUG SHOT? "OH, YOU GUYS ARE BOTH MY BOYS?" WELL, ON WEDNESDAY, EVEN 56 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,897 BORIS JOHNSON CALLED JOE BIDEN THE PRESIDENT-ELECT AND TOSSED IN AN EXTRA BURN ON TRUMP FOR 57 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,298 IN AN EXTRA BURN ON TRUMP FOR GOOD MEASURE 58 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,268 ONE OF THE MANY MERITS OF THE 59 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,639 EXCELLENT CONVERSATION I HAD YESTERDAY WITH PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN WAS THAT WE WERE 60 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:36,910 STRONGLY AGREED ON THE NEED, ONCE AGAIN, FOR THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THE 61 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:43,083 UNITED STATES TO STAND TOGETHER. DOES THE PRIME MINISTER NOW HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR HIS 62 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:50,557 ERSTWHILE BEST FRIEND, PRESIDENT TRUMP, WHO'S CONTINUING REFUSAL TO ACCEPT THE RESULT IS BOTH 63 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:55,595 EMBARRASSING FOR HIM AND DANGEROUS FOR AMERICAN DEMOCRACY? 64 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:59,632 PRIME MINISTER? WELL, MRS. SPEAKER, I HAD, AND HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP 65 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:04,571 WITH THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENT. I DO NOT RESOLVE FROM THAT AS IT IS THE DUTY OF ALL PRIME 66 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,173 MINISTERS TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WHITE HOUSE. 67 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:10,343 Seth: WOW, NOT ONLY DID HE CALL JOE BIDEN PRESIDENT-ELECT, HE CALLED TRUMP "THE PREVIOUS 68 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:14,714 PRESIDENT. THAT'S SUCH AN EFFORTLESS LITTLE ENGLISH BURN 69 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:19,219 THE ENGLISH CAN INSULT YOU IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU CAN BE ON YOUR DEATHBED 20 YEARS LATER AND 70 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:27,427 THINK, "HEY. YOUR BEST FRIEND SAID THAT MY ERSTWHILE BEST FRIEND 71 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:33,299 "OH, TRUST ME, HE'S ERSTWHILE NOW. BUT AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, IF 72 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:37,137 YOU CAN'T TRUST A FELLOW RIGHT-WING GOON WHO ONCE GOT STUCK ON A ZIP LINE AND TACKLED 73 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:45,078 A SMALL BOY DURING A RUGBY GAME, THEN WHO CAN YOU TRUST THAT'S HOW CLEAR AND DECISIVE 74 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:49,382 BIDEN'S VICTORY WAS. EVEN TRUMP'S CLOSEST ALLIES ON THE WORLD STAGE HAVE GONE OUT OF 75 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:52,886 THEIR WAY TO CONGRATULATE JOE BIDEN AND RECOGNIZE HIS VICTORY IN THE ELECTION. 76 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:57,090 AND THEY'RE NOT ALONE. SEVERAL REPUBLICAN OFFICIALS IN KEY SWING STATES, FROM THE 77 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:01,194 GEORGIA SECRETARY OF STATE, TO THE ARIZONA ATTORNEY GENERAL, TO THE PHILADELPHIA CITY 78 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:05,031 COMMISSIONER, HAVE ALL MADE CLEAR THAT THERE IS NO WIDESPREAD FRAUD AND THAT THE 79 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:09,035 RESULTS IN THEIR STATES ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. 80 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,306 DO YOU HAVE ANY INDICATION OF MAJOR IRREGULARITIES OR FRAUD IN THIS ELECTION? 81 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:17,143 WE HAVEN'T FOUND ANY WIDESPREAD FRAUD OUR OFFICE RECEIVED MORE THAN 82 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:20,880 A THOUSAND COMPLAINTS SHORTLY AFTER THE ELECTION DEALING WITH BLEED-THROUGHS AND PEOPLE USING 83 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,351 SHARPIES WE LOOKED INTO THAT. WE WERE ABLE TO DETERMINE THAT 84 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:27,754 THAT DID NOT AFFECT ANYONE'S VOTE THEY ALSO DID A RANDOM AUDIT OF 85 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:34,527 2% OF THE PRECINCTS, AND IT CAME BACK 100% THAT THERE WASN'T ANY STATISTICAL ANOMALIES OR ERRORS. 86 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:41,534 I HAVE SEEN THE MOST FANTASTICAL THINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, MAKING COMPLETELY 87 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:46,973 RIDICULOUS ALLEGATIONS THAT HAVE NO BASIS IN FACT AT ALL. Seth: OH, SO YOU ALSO FOLLOW 88 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:51,678 THE PRESIDENT ON TWITTER "I HAVE SEEN THE MOST FANTASTICAL THINGS" SOUNDS LIKE 89 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:55,081 SOMETHING DOROTHY WOULD SAY IN "THE WIZARD OF OZ," AND YET HE'S ACCURATELY DESCRIBING THE 90 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:59,552 PRESIDENT'S TWITTER ACCOUNT. "I HAVE SEEN THE MOST FANTASTICAL THINGS 91 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,722 WITCHES AND MUNCHKINS AND A VIDEO OF THE PRESIDENT TACKLING VINCE McMAHON WITH THE CNN LOGO 92 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:07,861 ON HIS FACE! AND NOT ONLY ARE THOSE THREE REPUBLICANS, BUT EVEN KARL ROVE 93 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,898 WROTE AN OP-ED DECLARING THAT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF FRAUD THAT COULD OVERTURN THE 94 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:15,035 ELECTION KARL ROVE, THE GUY WHO ENGINEERED THE LAST DISASTROUS 95 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:19,239 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENCY TO LOSE THE POPULAR VOTE WHEN YOU LOSE KARL ROVE, YOU 96 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:24,477 NEED TO DO SOME SERIOUS LACK OF A SOUL SEARCHING THIS IS LIKE DARTH VADER SAYING, 97 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,280 "GUYS, WHY ARE WE TRYING TO REBUILD THE DEATH STAR THEY'RE JUST GONNA BLOW IT UP 98 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:34,054 AGAIN. "NO, DARTH, DON'T TALK TO YOURSELF THAT WAY. 99 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:37,824 "I GUESS I CAN MAKE A BIGGER ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 100 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,094 AND IF THE WORD OF THOSE REPUBLICANS ISN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU, "THE NEW YORK TIMES" CALLED 101 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:45,265 ELECTION OFFICIALS IN EVERY STATE AND FOUND THAT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF FRAUD. 102 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:49,502 A POSTAL WORKER WHO CLAIMED TO HAVE WITNESSED BALLOT TAMPERING RECANTED HIS CLAIMS AND SAID 103 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,672 THEY WERE MADE UP. EVEN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN'S LAWSUITS HAVE MOSTLY BEEN 104 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:56,943 LAUGHED OUT OF COURT FOR EXAMPLE, YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD ONE OF THEIR MOST COMMON 105 00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:00,547 COMPLAINTS, THAT THEIR POLL WATCHERS IN STATES LIKE PENNSYLVANIA AND MICHIGAN 106 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:04,384 WEREN'T ALLOWED TO OBSERVE THE VOTE COUNTING. ACCORDING TO TRUMP, THIS IS 107 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:07,887 RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF VOTES THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO COUNT. 108 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,824 THEREFORE, I EASILY WIN BOTH STATES HE KEEPS DOING THIS THING WHERE 109 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:15,195 HE THINKS HE CAN JUST CALL DIBS ON STATES THE WAY A STONER CALLS DIBS ON THE LAST SLICE OF 110 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:19,899 PEPPERONI. "DEVON, THERE'S NO PIZZA LEFT. THAT'S THE DRAWING ON THE BOX, 111 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:24,371 DEVON. DEVON! [ LAUGHTER ] 112 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:32,812 LOOK, DEVON, WE ALL LOVE WEED, DEVON, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO STOP. TRUMP THINKS IT'S OFFICIAL AS 113 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:36,950 LONG AS HE THROWS IN A "HEREBY" OR A "THEREFORE. THAT'S THE SAME TACTIC DRUNK RED 114 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:41,454 SOX FANS USE WHEN THEY'RE GETTING DRAGGED AWAY BY COPS "I HEREBY CLAIM SQUATTERS 115 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:47,127 RIGHTS, THEREFORE GRANTED TO ME BY THE COMMONWEALTH, ALLOWING ME TO CONTINUE URINATING FROM ATOP 116 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:52,165 THIS TELEPHONE POLE! BUT THE MORE IMPORTANT THING IS, IT'S NOT TRUE. 117 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:56,069 TRUMP LAWYERS HAVE FILED A BUNCH OF FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS, CLAIMING THAT BECAUSE THEY WERE BARRED 118 00:08:56,069 --> 00:09:00,140 FROM OBSERVING THE COUNT, THE STATES SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO CERTIFY THEIR RESULTS, WHICH IS 119 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,743 INSANE BECAUSE, FIRST OF ALL, THE BALLOT COUNTING WAS LITERALLY SHOWN LIVE ON 120 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:07,247 TELEVISION FOR EVERYONE TO WATCH. I REMEMBER, BECAUSE I WAS 121 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:11,184 SITTING ON MY COUCH STARING AT CABLE NEWS 24 HOURS A DAY, FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT LIKE I WAS IN "A 122 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,687 CLOCKWORK ORANGE." I WATCHED SO MUCH CABLE NEWS I STARTED DRESSING LIKE 123 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:18,158 STEVE KORNACKI WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I CAN STILL SEE JAKE TAPPER'S FOREHEAD 124 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:25,065 FURROWS. SECOND, TRUMP LAWYERS BROUGHT THIS CLAIM BEFORE A JUDGE, WHO 125 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:29,636 DISMISSED IT AS ABSURD HERE'S HOW ONE CASE WENT IN PENNSYLVANIA BEFORE A JUDGE 126 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:33,139 APPOINTED, IT SHOULD BE NOTED, BY GEORGE W. BUSH. "JUDGE: ARE YOUR OBSERVERS IN 127 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,944 THE COUNTING ROOM? TRUMP LAWYER: THERE'S A NONZERO NUMBER OF PEOPLE 128 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:42,048 JUDGE: ARE PEOPLE REPRESENTING TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT IN THAT ROOM 129 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:46,252 TRUMP LAWYER: YES. JUDGE: I'M SORRY, THEN WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM 130 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,423 " IT'S GREAT THAT THE MORE TRUMP USES FANCY COURTROOM WORDS LIKE HEREBY AND THEREFORE, THE MORE 131 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:54,794 JUDGES START TALKING LIKE THEY'RE THE ONES FROM QUEENS "YOUR HONOR THERE WERE A NONZERO 132 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:58,064 NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE COUNTING ROOM." "WELL, THERE'S A NONZERO CHANCE 133 00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,367 I'M GOING TO KNOCK YOUR [ BLEEP ] BLOCK OFF IF YOU DON'T START GIVING ME STRAIGHT 134 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:04,204 ANSWERS. NONZERO. I BELIEVE THAT CASE WAS CALLED 135 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:08,675 "TRUMP V. GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY. AND THEN THERE'S THE REPEATEDLY 136 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:12,612 DEBUNKED MYTH THAT DEAD PEOPLE ARE VOTING THIS IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST VOTER 137 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:16,549 FRAUD LIES BECAUSE IT ALMOST ALWAYS TURNS OUT THAT IT'S AN ADMINISTRATIVE ERROR OR A CASE 138 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:21,788 OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SOMETIMES MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME 139 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:26,926 NAME, AN IDEA THAT IS TO COME AS A SHOCK TO DONALD TRUMP AND HIS SON WHO'S -- WHAT'S HIS NAME 140 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:32,599 OH, IT'S ESCAPING ME OH, RIGHT, FORREST STUMP ANYWAY, CNN DID AN INVESTIGATION 141 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:35,902 WHERE THEY SAMPLED 50 NAMES OF DEAD PEOPLE WHO HAD SUPPOSEDLY VOTED IN MICHIGAN. 142 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:39,839 OF THOSE 50, IT TURNS OUT, 37 WERE INDEED DEAD AND HAD NOT VOTED. 143 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:43,443 FIVE PEOPLE OUT OF THE 50 HAD VOTED AND THEY'RE ALL STILL ALIVE. 144 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:48,148 THE REMAINING EIGHT ARE ALSO ALIVE, BUT DIDN'T VOTE I THINK MY FAVORITE PART IS THE 145 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,417 FIVE PEOPLE WHO VOTED AND WERE STILL ALIVE. IT MUST SUCK TO GET MISTAKEN FOR 146 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:54,688 DEAD RUDY GIULIANI, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD BE ABLE TO SYMPATHIZE 147 00:10:54,688 --> 00:11:00,493 "HEY, STOP THROWING DIRT ON ME CAN'T A GUY CATCH A FEW WINKS IN A SHALLOW DITCH ANYMORE? 148 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:05,198 ALTHOUGH MY FAVORITE DUMB CONSPIRACY THEORY HAS TO BE THE EXISTENCE OF A MYSTERIOUS 149 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:09,669 BIDEN/HARRIS VAN IN NEVADA WHERE DEMOCRATS WERE SUPPOSEDLY FILLING OUT MAIL BALLOTS 150 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:14,074 IT'S A CLAIM THAT HAS BEEN REPEATED MULTIPLE TIMES BY TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM AND FOX NEWS. 151 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:14,107 REPEATED MULTIPLE TIMES BY TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM AND FOX NEWS. 152 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:19,279 BRINGING HANDFULS OF BALLOTS TO A BIDEN/HARRIS CAMPAIGN VAN. 153 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:23,216 THOSE BALLOTS WERE THEN FILLED OUT AT THE VAN, PLACED IN RETURN ENVELOPES. 154 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:27,687 MAIL-IN BALLOTS WERE FILLED OUT ON THE SIDE OF A BIDEN/HARRIS VAN. 155 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:33,593 YOU SAW SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS, WE'RE GOING TO GET RIGHT INTO IT TONIGHT, HAPPENING ON THE SIDE 156 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:39,165 OF A BIDEN/HARRIS VAN IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE POLLING STATION. 157 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:45,405 A VAN PULLED UP AT THE CENTER MARKED, "BIDEN/HARRIS. WOW 158 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:50,110 THE DOORS OF THE VAN WERE OPEN BALLOTS WERE CLEARLY VISIBLE 159 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:56,549 BALLOTS WERE OPENED WITH LETTER OPENERS AND BALLOTS WERE FILLED IN AND RESEALED IN ENVELOPES 160 00:11:56,549 --> 00:12:00,487 Seth: NOBODY GETS A VAN SO THEY CAN DO CRIMES OUTSIDE OF IT 161 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:06,059 YOU DO THE CRIMES IN THE VAN THAT'S WHAT VANS ARE FOR YOU'RE EITHER DOING MOBILE PET 162 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,362 GROOMING OR CRIMES AND IF IT'S FOR CRIMES, YOU DON'T PUT YOUR NAME ON THE SIDE 163 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,632 OF IT. YOU NEVER SEE A VAN AIR BRUSHED "MOLESTER MOBILE." 164 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:18,471 [ LAUGHTER ] ALTHOUGH THE KIDS WOULD KNOW I THINK THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE 165 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:23,877 CANDY. AND THEN YESTERDAY, TRUMP SHARED AN EVEN DUMBER CONSPIRACY 166 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:27,480 THEORY, A VIDEO BY SOME RANDOM LADY OF ELECTION OFFICIALS IN CALIFORNIA PICKING UP MAIL 167 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,184 BALLOTS FROM A DROP BOX, WHICH IS PERFECTLY NORMAL AND LEGAL. 168 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:37,223 I THOUGHT THEY COLLECTED THEM ALL. I JUST WANT TO DOCUMENT. 169 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,958 NO, THEY'RE STILL COLLECTING. HOW -- WAIT BUT HOW COME THEY ALREADY CALLED 170 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,494 THE STATE? BECAUSE THESE ARE MAIL-IN BALLOTS. 171 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:47,600 ARE YOU GUYS OFFICIAL ELECTION GUYS? WHERE DO YOU GUYS TAKE THEM? 172 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,638 ELECTION CENTER THAT'S IT. Seth: I'M BEGINNING TO THINK 173 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:55,475 A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE GENUINELY DON'T KNOW HOW MAIL WORKS. "I'M SORRY, WHERE IS THAT WHITE 174 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:59,212 PIECE OF PAPER GOING AND WHY DOES IT HAVE A LITTLE STICKER OF AN AMERICAN FLAG ON 175 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:03,116 IT AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS WEARING SHORTS IN NOVEMBER 176 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,186 OKAY OKAY I'M JUST ASKING. 177 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,923 AND IT WILL NOT SHOCK YOU TO LEARN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN AND REPUBLICAN PARTY'S ATTEMPTS TO 178 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:14,828 INVALIDATE THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTIONS ARE, IN LARGE PART, A GIANT GRIFT WITH THE SIDE EFFECT 179 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,330 OF LIGHTING OUR DEMOCRACY ON FIRE THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN 180 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:21,701 SOLICITING DONATIONS TO PAY FOR LEGAL CHALLENGES TO SUPPOSEDLY DEFEND THE INTEGRITY OF THE 181 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:28,074 ELECTION, BUT AS REUTERS REPORTED, IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FINE PRINT THAT DONATIONS UNDER 182 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,678 $8 THOUSAND GO TO THE PRESIDENT AND THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE. 183 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:36,349 LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE TRUMP AND THE GOP DO, THIS IS ALSO A SCAM. THE MONEY'S JUST GOING TO THEM 184 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,652 WHEN TRUMP FINALLY CONCEDES, HE'LL PROBABLY DO IT IN A BUGATTI, WEARING 185 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,589 DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED CARTIER SUNGLASSES AND THE NECKLACE FROM THE TITANIC. 186 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:47,727 "THANKS FOR ALL YOUR DONATIONS, BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO STOP THE DEEP STATE. 187 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:52,532 IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE VACATIONING IN FIJI. WITH ONLY A FEW EXCEPTIONS, THE 188 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,702 REPUBLICAN PARTY IS STANDING IN LOCKSTEP BEHIND PRESIDENT TRUMP AND PERHAPS HIS FINAL GRIFT AS 189 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:59,305 PRESIDENT BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT WILL FIRE UP HIS BASE. AND THEY DON'T CARE WHAT DAMAGE 190 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,375 THEY DO TO DEMOCRACY IN THE PROCESS. EVEN AFTER TRUMP LEAVES OFFICE, 191 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:06,079 CYNICAL REPUBLICANS KNOW TRUMPISM IS THE FUTURE OF THEIR PARTY AND THEY WANT TO 192 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,047 PARTY AND THEY WANT TO MAINTAIN - 193 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,482 PREVIOUS PRESIDENT 194 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,051 Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER LOOK." 195 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,922 * Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT. 196 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,425 WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT. * 197 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,834 "CLOSER LOOKS" BE SURE TO 198 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:46,319 SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON YOUTUBE. Seth: WELCOME BACK TO 199 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,589 "LATE NIGHT. AFTER KEY VICTORIES IN ARIZONA AND GEORGIA, MANY ON THE NEWS 200 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:54,961 AND SOCIAL MEDIA GAVE A SORT OF CREDIT TO DECEASED FIGURES LIKE CONGRESSMAN JOHN LEWIS AND 201 00:14:54,961 --> 00:15:00,033 SENATOR JOHN McCAIN. HERE TO DISCUSS THIS PARANORMAL CONTRIBUTION TO THE ELECTION IS 202 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:05,338 OUR FRIEND AND GHOST ENTHUSIAST, JOHN MULANEY WHERE WERE WE 203 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,941 Seth: OH! OH, I'M SORRY I STARTLED YOU 204 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,043 WOULD YOU LIKE TO PAUSE? DO YOU NEED TO CUT CAMERA? Seth: NO 205 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,213 NO, I'M OKAY SO, JOHN, WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION TO THE VARIOUS CONVERSATIONS 206 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:17,784 ABOUT LEWIS AND McCAIN HAVING PLAYED A ROLE IN THE ELECTION OUTCOME? 207 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:23,156 WELL, AS WITH MANY THINGS, I WAS PSYCHED AND THEN I OVERTHOUGHT IT, AND I BECAME 208 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,092 ANNOYED AND THAT'S STILL WHERE I'M AT CAN WE SHOW THE VIDEO CLIPS THAT 209 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,060 CAN WE SHOW THE VIDEO CLIPS THAT I BROUGHT, PLEASE? 210 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,395 THE EVIDENCE AMONG THE 211 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:33,299 DECEASED PEOPLE WHO HAD A REAL INFLUENCE IN THIS ELECTION ARE JOHN LEWIS IN GEORGIA AND 212 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:39,205 JOHN McCAIN IN ARIZONA I FELT LIKE JOHN LEWIS WAS SPEAKING TO US AND HE WAS DOING 213 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:45,078 HIS HAPPY DANCE IN HEAVEN. I HAVE HAD A VISION OF JOHN McCAIN UP IN HEAVEN, 214 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:50,684 SMILING DOWN AT THESE RESULTS. AND FRANKLY, I THINK RUTH BADER GINSBURG, AND 215 00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:54,754 JOHN LEWIS, AND JOHN McCAIN ARE LOOKING DOWN ON US AND SMILING Seth: SO, JOHN, YOUR 216 00:15:54,754 --> 00:16:00,026 ANNOYANCE IS IT'S LIKE, "HEY, AMERICA, DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS OR NOT?" 217 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:04,030 YOU KNOW MAKE UP YOUR MINDS MANY TIMES YOU HEAR PEOPLE SAY, 218 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:08,635 "OH, I FELT LIKE POP WAS WATCHING OVER ME TODAY WHEN I HIT THAT HOME RUN," OR "I COULD 219 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:12,505 FEEL MAMA WITH US WHEN WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE TODAY," OR "LOOK AT THAT DEAD GHOST KID IN 'THREE 220 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:16,710 MEN AND A BABY.' BUT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY SAY, "I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS," PEOPLE LAUGH 221 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:21,648 AT YOU THEY SHOULDN'T LAUGH, THEY SHOULD BELIEVE 222 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,584 Seth: SO YOU'RE SAYING GHOSTS DID PLAY A ROLE, AND THE MEDIA SHOULD LEAN MORE INTO IT 223 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,420 I LIKE HOW YOU PHRASED THAT, YES. YES. 224 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:33,093 McCAIN AND LEWIS STRAIGHT UP HAUNTED THIS ELECTION. BUT THEY WERE NOT THE ONLY ONES. 225 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:37,263 THE, UH -- THE SUBURBAN MOM VOTING BLOCK WAS NOT THE DECIDING FACTOR IN THIS 226 00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:43,169 ELECTION, BUT RATHER ANGRY MIDDLE-CLASS GHOSTS AND GHOULS, WHO MAYBE HAD SUPPORTED TRUMP IN 227 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:47,207 2016, MAYBE DID NOT, BUT AT THIS POINT SAID, "LOOK, I'M A GHOST BOO. 228 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,943 I CAN'T TAKE FOUR MORE YEARS OF THIS." Seth: WHY WOULD SO MANY GHOSTS 229 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:53,546 SUPPORT BIDEN? WE KNOW THAT MANY OF THE ELDERLY WENT FOR TRUMP, SO WHY WOULD WE 230 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:58,685 NOT SEE A LARGER RED WAVE AMONG THE PASSED AWAY? I LIKE HOW YOU PHRASED THAT 231 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:04,491 AS WELL. WELL, TRUMP HELD RALLIES IN MANY STATES, AS WE KNOW 232 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:10,697 BUT WHAT IS NOW CLEAR TO ME IS THAT BIDEN MUST HAVE TRAVELLED TO THE UNDERWORLD, CROSSED THE 233 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:17,270 RIVER STYX, CHARMED HEDRA, THE SEVEN-HEADED DOG WHO GUARDS THE GATES OF HELL, AND PLAYED HIS 234 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:21,207 FIFE FOR PERSEPHONE, THE QUEEN OF HELL HERSELF. Seth: SO, THAT WHOLE TIME WE 235 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,277 THOUGHT JOE BIDEN WAS JUST IN HIS BASEMENT, HE WAS IN A METAPHORIC BASEMENT? 236 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:32,252 HADES, YES. I THINK THAT'S VERY CLEAR FROM THE ELECTION RETURNS 237 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,622 BELIEVE. BUT DESPITE THAT, NEXT WEEK WHEN IT'S ALL OVER AND NO ONE CARES 238 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:41,428 ABOUT THIS ELECTION, YOU'LL SEE THIS HONEST DISCOURSE ABOUT GHOSTS DISAPPEAR FROM THE MEDIA. 239 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,830 AND I'M SICK OF IT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE SEEN A GHOST 240 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:48,201 I DON'T. BUT BASED ON MY OWN FIELD WORK, I KNOW LIKE 70 PEOPLE WHO HAVE 241 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:52,372 SO, I'M SURE THERE'S ONE SEEN EVERY DAY. AND COVERAGE OF THESE HAUNTINGS 242 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,842 SHOULDN'T BE SOMETHING THAT WE ONLY TALK ABOUT EVERY FOUR YEARS AT ELECTION TIME 243 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,812 Seth: SO, YOUR POINT IS, YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ONE, BUT WANT 244 00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:02,015 TO I'M SCARED OF IT, BUT YES Seth: AND A LOT OF TIMES, 245 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:06,353 PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS AND NOW PEOPLE ARE SORT OF WAXING IMAGINATIVELY THAT 246 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:12,158 JOHN LEWIS AND JOHN McCAIN'S MEMORIES AFFECTED THEIR CONSTITUENCY AND THEY ARE GOING 247 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:16,396 FAR WITH THIS IDEA AND SAYING IT WAS THEM FROM THE AFTERLIFE. AND RIGHT NOW WHAT YOU WANT 248 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:20,033 IS - PARANORMAL CONSISTENCY. Seth: PARANORMAL CONSISTENCY. 249 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:23,636 YES, THANK YOU. Seth: NOW, REPUBLICANS SAY DEAD PEOPLE VOTED IN 2020, BUT 250 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:28,775 THEY MEAN LIVING PEOPLE ARE USING DEAD PEOPLE'S NAMES IN VOTER FRAUD. 251 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,246 I ASSUME, BASED ON WHAT YOU SAID, YOU THINK THAT IF A DEAD PERSON -- AN ACTUAL DEAD PERSON 252 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,750 MANAGES TO VOTE ON THEIR OWN, IT SHOULD COUNT IT SHOULD COUNT 253 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:40,487 BUT DON'T GO PATTING VOTING GHOSTS ON THE BACK, BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT IN LONG 254 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,289 LINES. YOU KNOW, THEY CAN GO THROUGH WALLS AND THEY CAN FLOAT, AS 255 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,459 WELL AS OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE A GHOST. Seth: YOU KNOW, I READ ONCE 256 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,328 THAT IF THEY CONCENTRATE VERY HARD - YES 257 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,931 Seth: THEY CAN KICK A CAN -- YES, YES, YES, YES. Seth: DOWN A SUBWAY PLATFORM. 258 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:56,870 YES, YOU DID NOT READ THAT. WHAT YOU DID WAS YOU SAW THAT IN THE MOVIE "GHOST," WHICH STARS 259 00:18:56,870 --> 00:19:01,675 PATRICK SWAYZE, WHO HAS PASSED AWAY, AND BECAUSE OF HIS "DIRTY DANCING" TIES, HE MAY 260 00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:04,844 HAVE DELIVERED THAT KEY CATSKILLS BLOCK. Seth: NOW, 261 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:08,782 RUTH BADER GINSBURG'S LAST WORDS WERE, "MY MOST FERVENT WISH IS THAT I WILL NOT BE REPLACED 262 00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:12,152 UNTIL A NEW PRESIDENT IS INSTALLED. TRUMP, SHOCKINGLY, DID NOT HONOR 263 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,422 THAT WISH AND PUSHED THROUGH THE APPOINTMENT OF AMY CONEY BARRETT. 264 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:19,059 BABY CONEY ISLAND, YES. Seth: HER DYING WISH WAS REJECTED AND IF GHOSTS ARE REAL, 265 00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:24,064 YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE INTERVENED OH, OH, OH, NO. 266 00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:28,234 YOUR FOLLY IS NOT IN YOUR LOGIC, BUT IN YOUR THEOLOGY YOU SEE, IN JUDAISM, THERE IS NO 267 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:33,239 DEFINED AFTERLIFE. SO RUTH BADER GHOSTBURG WOULD, THEREFORE, HAVE TO BE WHAT WE 268 00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:38,611 CALL A DYBBUK, WHICH IS A MUCH MORE DANGEROUS SPIRIT, WHO CAN POSSESS A HUMAN BEING AND CAN 269 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:43,316 TERRORIZE THE LIVING I WOULD KEEP AN EYE ON PEOPLE LIKE SUSIE ESSMAN AND SEE IF 270 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,486 THEY HAVE LACED COLLARS ALL OF A SUDDEN Seth: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS 271 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:51,825 TRUMP COULD HAVE A DYBBUK ON HIS HANDS? AND NOT JUST ONE DYBBUK 272 00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:56,763 I BELIEVE ANOTHER JEWISH PHANTASM HUMILIATED THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN THIS WEEK WHEN ED KOCH, 273 00:19:56,763 --> 00:20:02,669 THANK YOU, FORMER MAYOR OF NEW YORK, AND A PLAYFUL GHOST, LIKE A JEWISH CASPER, SENT HIS 274 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:08,875 FORMER ENEMY, RUDY GIULIANI TO THE FOUR SEASONS LANDSCAPING COMPANY, A PRANK THAT HAS DEAD 275 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,311 KOCH WRITTEN ALL OVER IT Seth: BUT NOW HERE'S MY QUESTION 276 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,247 WHY WOULD GIULIANI TRUST THE GHOST ED KOCH? AKA, DEAD KOCH 277 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:19,619 AH. WELL, THE DEAD KOCH DYBBUK, YES, PROBABLY TOOK THE FORM OF A 278 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:24,624 YOUNG BLONDE REPORTER FROM EASTERN EUROPE AS YOU KNOW, RUDY CANNOT RESIST 279 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:30,964 THOSE. PRETTY EMBARRASSING FOR MR. BAFAN-GHOUL-IANI, THE 280 00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:35,335 ITALIAN SILLY GHOST. Seth: GIULIANI IS NOT DEAD, NOR DO I THINK THAT 281 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,071 BAFAN-GHOUL-IANI IS THE ITALIAN WORD FOR GHOST NO, BUT IT'S A GOOD NAME FOR 282 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:43,309 RUDY Seth: YEAH. JOHN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 283 00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:47,047 OR WAS I? CUT TO FOUR. CUT TO CAMERA FOUR, PLEASE 284 00:20:47,047 --> 00:20:49,883 CUT TO FOUR. I'LL JUST ROLL OFF THE GROUND. Seth: ALL RIGHT 285 00:20:49,883 --> 00:21:16,843 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DAN AKYROYD. * 286 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:20,880 Seth: ALL THIS WEEK WE'VE HAD THE LONG-RUNNING DRUMMER WITH BROADWAY'S "THE LION KING" 287 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,718 SITTING IN WITH THE 8G BAND. BE SURE TO CHECK OUT HIS NEW EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE 288 00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:28,855 CARTERMcLEAN.COM, AS WELL AS HIS INSTAGRAM. CARTER McLEAN, EVERYBODY 289 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:35,195 THANKS FOR A GREAT WEEK, CARTER! OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED AND EMMY 290 00:21:35,195 --> 00:21:40,133 WINNING ACTOR AND WRITER YOU KNOW AS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL CAST MEMBERS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" 291 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:44,838 AND FROM THE MOVIES, "GHOSTBUSTERS," "THE BLUE BROTHERS", AND SO MANY OTHERS. 292 00:21:44,838 --> 00:21:50,276 HE HAS RECENTLY ADDED CRYSTAL HEAD ONYX, AN AGAVE-BASED VODKA IN A BEAUTIFUL BOTTLE TO HIS 293 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,680 AWARD-WINNING CRYSTAL HEAD VODKA LINE PLEASE WELCOME TO THE SHOW, THE 294 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,151 GREAT, THE FANTASTIC DAN AYKROYD. HOW ARE YOU, DANNY 295 00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:02,956 AHH, A1 SIR GOOD TO TALK TO YOU. GOOD TO TALK TO YOU. 296 00:22:02,956 --> 00:22:04,791 Seth: AND YOU'RE OUTSIDE -- I AM HERE - Seth: YOU'RE OUTSIDE WITH THE 297 00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:10,063 BLUES MOBILE RIGHT NOW I KNOW. LISTEN, YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS 298 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:14,234 LOOKED FOR THESE OLD FORD MARQUISES, THE GRAND MARQUISES THEY DON'T MAKE THEM ANYMORE 299 00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:16,970 AND THEY RIDE LIKE A ROLLS ROYCE. THEY'RE SO OVERBUILT 300 00:22:16,970 --> 00:22:23,510 AND I WAS IN UPSTATE NEW YORK A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, AND I -- MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN A TOWN UP 301 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:30,750 THERE, AND I JUST FLASHED BY THIS TOWN, AND IN A CAR LOT I JUST SAW A CORNER OF THIS CAR. 302 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:35,422 AND I WAS LOOKING FOR A BLACK ONE. SO I CALL UP, AND I FIND OUT 303 00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:39,926 THAT THE GUY SAYS, "OH, I'VE GOT TWO OF THEM. I SAID WELL, "I WANT BOTH. 304 00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:43,096 HE SAID, "YOU KNOW YOUR CARS, MAN. THEY'RE FBI CARS." 305 00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:45,165 SO I GET THEM HOME DIG THIS DIG THIS 306 00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:55,775 WATCH THIS SETH, THESE -- THIS CAR WASN'T AN FBI CAR, BUT IT WAS -- IT 307 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:58,511 BELONGED TO THE STATE DEPARTMENT Seth: WOW 308 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:02,315 SEE THAT? YOU SEE? LET ME GET IT RIGHT HERE 309 00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:05,051 CAUSE YOU REALLY GOT TO SEE THIS HERE HOW DO WE GET THAT 310 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,853 DO YOU SEE Seth: THERE YOU GO. THERE IT IS 311 00:23:06,853 --> 00:23:08,655 THERE IT IS. LOOK SEE? 312 00:23:08,655 --> 00:23:12,492 DEPARTMENT OF STATE, WASHINGTON D.C AND IT HAS A GUN SAFE IN IT. 313 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:17,864 IT HAD A LIGHT AND SIREN, AND THEY WERE MADE, YOU KNOW, FOR DIPLOMATIC ASSISTANTS, FOR 314 00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:21,134 COURIERS, YOU KNOW, TAKE TO THE AIRPORT. AND MY FANTASY IS THAT 315 00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:25,071 HILLARY CLINTON RODE IN THIS CAR. AND, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO LEND 316 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:29,075 IT TO MIKE POMPEO. I'VE GOT TWO OF THEM I'M GOING TO LEND THEM TO HIM TO 317 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:33,246 PACK UP HIS FAMILY AND HEAD ON OUT ANY TIME AND I'LL DRIVE THEM MYSELF 318 00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:35,382 Seth: THAT'S SO KIND OF YOU YEAH. Seth: NOW DAN, WHAT HAPPENS 319 00:23:35,382 --> 00:23:39,719 WHEN - LET'S GO INSIDE Seth: YEAH, LET'S GO INSIDE 320 00:23:39,719 --> 00:23:43,656 I HAVE TO ASK THOUGH DAN, WHAT DOES A GENTLEMAN SAY WHEN HE'S SELLING TWO CARS AND HE REALIZES 321 00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:46,593 DAN AYKROYD'S THE ONE WHO'S BUYING THEM? WELL, I ALWAYS HAVE 322 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:51,197 INTERMEDIARIES, YOU SEE. Seth: OH, VERY SMART. SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERPAY. 323 00:23:51,197 --> 00:24:00,473 LIKE, I'VE GOT -- I HAVE TWO OF THOSE GOVERNMENT CARS AND I HAVE THREE OTHER MARQUISES. 324 00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:04,644 AND SETH, FOR ALL OF THESE CARS, ALL OF THEM, I'M INTO THEM -- I'VE GOT FIVE OF THEM. 325 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:08,682 MY DAUGHTER HAS ONE. OUR NEIGHBOR HAS ONE I'VE GOT THOSE TWO 326 00:24:08,682 --> 00:24:14,921 MY DAD USED TO DRIVE ONE $60 THOUSAND FOR ALL OF THEM Seth: THAT'S FANTASTIC. 327 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:19,826 I MEAN, THAT'S REALLY GOOD. SO, WHEN THE NAME AYKROYD COMES UP, YOU KNOW THE PRICE WILL GO 328 00:24:19,826 --> 00:24:23,063 UP BY SEVEN TIMES, SO I -- Seth: RIGHT, AND I GUESS YOU CAN SAY YOU'RE NOT THAT 329 00:24:23,063 --> 00:24:26,700 DAN AYKROYD. NO, NO. YEAH - 330 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:31,971 Seth: HEY, I WANT TO SAY THIS, THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS AT THE "SNL" 40th AND THIS 331 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:36,676 YEAR IS THE 40th ANNIVERSARY OF "THE BLUES BROTHERS. YEAH. 332 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,713 Seth: WHICH MUST BE EVEN HARDER FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND 333 00:24:39,713 --> 00:24:44,217 IS IT TRUE THAT YOU GUYS ACTUALLY, JUST ONE DAY, JUST LOST JOHN? 334 00:24:44,217 --> 00:24:47,087 WELL, ON THE MOVIE -- THIS IS A GREAT STORY. WE WERE SHOOTING AT THE 335 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:50,657 HARVEY, ILLINOIS MALL, YOU KNOW, THAT FAMOUS MALL SCENE IT WAS AN ABANDONED MALL AT THE 336 00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:54,694 TIME THE AREA HAD SUFFERED SOME ECONOMIC SETBACKS. 337 00:24:54,694 --> 00:24:58,531 AND WE WERE THERE AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING SHOOTING THE MALL SCENE, AND LUNCH HAD BROKEN AND WE WENT 338 00:24:58,531 --> 00:25:04,537 LOOKING FOR JOHN, COULDN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE, YOU KNOW AND SO I JUST -- WHAT ARE WE 339 00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:09,676 GOING TO DO? SO I SAW THIS PATH KIND OF LEADING OUT OF THE -- THE, YOU 340 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:14,381 KNOW, WEED-STREWN PARKING LOT INTO A SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD NEARBY AND I THOUGHT, "I'LL JUST 341 00:25:14,381 --> 00:25:18,952 TRY THAT." AND I WALKED DOWN THIS PATH, AND I WALKED INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD 342 00:25:18,952 --> 00:25:23,056 AND I LOOKED ALL THE HOUSES WERE DARK, BUT HALFWAY DOWN ONE OF THE STREETS 343 00:25:23,056 --> 00:25:26,726 THERE WERE LIGHTS ON AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, I DON'T KNOW 344 00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:29,796 I'M GOING TO -- I'VE GOT AN INSTINCT HERE. I'M GONNA TRY. 345 00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:33,299 AND I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, AND THE GUY SAID, "YEAH? AND I SAID, "WE'RE SHOOTING A 346 00:25:33,299 --> 00:25:35,902 MOVIE OVER HERE. "YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW. "WELL, WE'RE LOOKING FOR ONE OF 347 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:39,506 OUR ACTORS." "YEAH, I KNOW, BELUSHI HE CAME IN HERE ABOUT AN HALF AN 348 00:25:39,506 --> 00:25:44,544 HOUR AGO -- HE RAIDED MY FRIDGE. HE'S ASLEEP ON MY COUCH. HE WAS THE GUEST WHO NEVER LEFT. 349 00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:48,481 YOU KNOW, WHO COULD -- YOU KNOW, HE WOULD WALK INTO ANY -- ANYBODY'S HOUSE IN AMERICA AND 350 00:25:48,481 --> 00:25:51,418 BE WELCOMED. YOU KNOW, RAID THE FRIDGE AND LAY DOWN 351 00:25:51,418 --> 00:25:56,122 IT'S LIKE MURRAY, WHO GOES INTO THESE WEDDINGS AND GOES AND -- YOU KNOW, THEY'RE AMBASSADORS OF 352 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:59,859 COMEDY Seth: AND IT'S TRUE YOU KNOW, AGAIN, YOU DO IT FOR 353 00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:03,563 THAT LONG AND YOU DO IT AT A TIME WHERE, YOU KNOW, THE SHOW IS OBVIOUSLY THE MOST ICONIC 354 00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:07,267 THING ON TELEVISION. OBVIOUSLY, ITS LONGEVITY HAS SPOKEN TO WHAT YOU GUYS 355 00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:12,105 ESTABLISHED. YOU AND JOHN SHARED AN OFFICE. ONE DAY I WOULD LOVE TO WALK THE 356 00:26:12,105 --> 00:26:17,344 HALLS OF 17 WITH YOU, BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT WAS AN OFFICE I ENDED UP WITH, AND -- BUT YOU ACTUALLY 357 00:26:17,344 --> 00:26:22,816 INSTALLED -- YOU MADE SOME CALLS AS TO WHAT THE 17th FLOOR NEEDED, INCLUDING A SHOWER AND 358 00:26:22,816 --> 00:26:27,620 IS IT TRUE YOU PUT IN BUNK BEDS? YOU KNOW, I BET YOU USED THAT SHOWER WHEN YOU WERE THERE 359 00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:31,891 I MEAN, I ESTABLISHED THAT SHOWER FOR THE WRITERS STAYING OVER 360 00:26:31,891 --> 00:26:38,231 YES, I PUT IN BUNK BEDS, AND A TOASTER OVEN AND A KETTLE. AND, YOU KNOW, IT WAS -- IT WAS 361 00:26:38,231 --> 00:26:43,236 LIVING THERE FOR ME, I LIVED THERE LIKE FOR MOST OF THE SHOW, I LIVED THERE 362 00:26:43,236 --> 00:26:47,307 EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT. AND SOMETIMES EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT. 363 00:26:47,307 --> 00:26:51,544 SO, DURING THE ENTIRE RUN OF "SNL" WHEN I WAS THERE AND, YOU KNOW, BEAUTIFUL TIMES 364 00:26:51,544 --> 00:26:54,948 AND BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES BUT "THE BLUES BROTHERS," WE STILL DO IT. 365 00:26:54,948 --> 00:26:58,318 JIMMY, JOHN'S BROTHER AND I, STILL HAVE "THE BLUES BROTHERS" CLASSIC REVIEW 366 00:26:58,318 --> 00:27:02,155 WHEN WE -- YOU KNOW, IN PRE-COVID TIMES WE WERE GOING OUT TO CASINOS, AND CORPORATE 367 00:27:02,155 --> 00:27:06,326 EVENTS, AND CONCERT HALLS AND HAVING REALLY A LOT OF FUN WITH IT 368 00:27:06,326 --> 00:27:11,898 I DO MISS THE MUSIC. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT'S SO ESSENTIAL, YOU KNOW. 369 00:27:11,898 --> 00:27:18,438 AND IT'S TOO BAD THAT WE CAN'T PERFORM, ALL OF US, IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY OR BROADWAY PERFORMER 370 00:27:18,438 --> 00:27:23,576 TODAY, HIS GIG IS DOWN ALL MY PEOPLE IN "HOUSE OF BLUES" WE HAVE 13 NIGHTCLUBS 371 00:27:23,576 --> 00:27:27,847 WE HAVE, YOU KNOW, SEVERAL THOUSAND EMPLOYEES THAT CAN'T COME TO WORK, BAR-BACKS, 372 00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:34,621 WAITERS, WAITRESSES. THIS VIRUS IS MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY CEO, OR YOU KNOW, HEAD OF 373 00:27:34,621 --> 00:27:40,527 STATE. IT'S JUST -- IT'S A DEAD ZOMBIE CALLING THE SHOTS. 374 00:27:40,527 --> 00:27:46,633 AND I HAVE OPTIMISM, THOUGH. I THINK THAT MANKIND, IF WE ALL PULL TOGETHER AND ARE SENSIBLE 375 00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:51,671 ABOUT WEARING MASKS, AND ACCEPTING THE VACCINES, AND DON'T PLAY INTO THE IGNORANCE OF 376 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:57,911 MANY WHO WOULD DENY WHAT GOOD THESE THINGS ARE GOING TO DO, WE'LL GET THROUGH THIS 377 00:27:57,911 --> 00:28:01,181 AND I WELCOME YOU TO THE HOUSE OF BLUES IN VEGAS. COME AND PARTY WITH US WHEN 378 00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:05,218 WE'RE BACK UP. Seth: ONE OF THE THINGS THAT CAN HELP PEOPLE GET THROUGH 379 00:28:05,218 --> 00:28:10,590 WHILE THEY'RE SOCIAL DISTANCING IS, OF COURSE, SOME SPIRITS. YOU'VE GOT A NEW CRYSTAL SKULL 380 00:28:10,590 --> 00:28:15,729 ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT HAVING -- AND I POURED MYSELF A DRINK THAT I'M GOING TO JOIN YOU WITH 381 00:28:15,729 --> 00:28:20,100 BUT TELL US ABOUT THE NEW -- THE ONYX WELL, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN -- 382 00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:24,804 THIS HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE, TO TAKE THE BLUE AGAVE PLANT, WHICH IS WHAT TEQUILA IS MADE OUT OF, 383 00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:29,376 AND GIVE IT A VODKA FINISH IT'S DANGEROUS YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE THAT. 384 00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:33,113 Seth: IT'S WONDERFUL. IT HAS KIND OF AN EARTHY, ABSINTHE KIND OF SMELL TO IT 385 00:28:33,113 --> 00:28:38,051 WHAT WE'VE DONE IS, TAKEN THE BLUE AGAVE FLUID, MASH, AND WE'VE MIXED IT WITH THE 386 00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:47,527 NEWFOUNDLAND WATER, AND WE HAVE A PEPPERY, KIND OF FIERY, EARTHY VODKA HERE THAT IS BASED -- AND 387 00:28:47,527 --> 00:28:50,497 NEVER BEEN BASED ON BLUE AGAVE, A VODKA. IT NEVER HAS BEEN. 388 00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:54,534 WE'RE THE FIRST TO DO IT HERE'S OUR PRIDE DIVERSITY BOTTLE WHICH COMES OUT AT PRIDE 389 00:28:54,534 --> 00:28:59,572 TIMES. WE'RE VERY HAPPY THAT THAT CONSTITUENCY FOLLOWS US, BECAUSE 390 00:28:59,572 --> 00:29:04,711 WE'RE A CANADIAN-MADE VODKA AND NOT A VODKA MADE IN SOME COUNTRIES WHERE GAY PEOPLE ARE 391 00:29:04,711 --> 00:29:09,182 PERSECUTED AND THE CONSUMER IN AMERICA, AND CANADA AND THE WORLD IS VERY CONSCIOUS OF OUR 392 00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:13,453 IDENTITY AS A CANADIAN PRODUCT DID YOU HAVE A SIP OF THAT ISN'T THAT NICE? 393 00:29:13,453 --> 00:29:18,358 Seth: IT'S REALLY NICE. IT'S REALLY -- MM. IT'S JUST WHAT WE NEED 394 00:29:18,358 --> 00:29:22,529 IT'S REALLY GREAT. YEAH. YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE HAVE SAID 395 00:29:22,529 --> 00:29:27,334 IT'S LIKE A WHITE WHISKEY OR A KIND OF MORE EARTHY, SWEETER ABSINTHE 396 00:29:27,334 --> 00:29:31,271 AND IT'S JUST EXACTLY WHAT -- EXACTLY, WHAT WE NEED IN MODERATION 397 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:37,377 I WOULD TAKE FIVE PEOPLE TO A HEAD NOT ONE PERSON TO A HEAD. YOU KNOW 398 00:29:37,377 --> 00:29:41,214 BUT IN THIS KIND OF TIME OF ISOLATION, A LOT OF REFLECTION I'VE BEEN DOING, A LOT OF 399 00:29:41,214 --> 00:29:45,051 INTROSPECTION. I'VE BEEN ANSWERING A LOT OF EMAILS 400 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:47,420 SETH, YOU'VE REALLY MADE IT IN COMEDY YOU'RE AT THE PINNACLE, THE 401 00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:50,724 PEAK YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SHOW YOU HAVE YOUR OWN -- YOU CAN DO 402 00:29:50,724 --> 00:29:54,661 STAND-UP, YOU'RE GOING TO BE PRODUCING OTHER TELEVISION YOU GOT TO WORK WITH AMY POEHLER 403 00:29:54,661 --> 00:29:57,597 IN "UPDATE." YOU GUYS MANAGED THAT DESK, DIDN'T YOU 404 00:29:57,597 --> 00:29:59,799 Seth: YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. Seth: IT WAS SOME OF THE BEST 405 00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:02,402 YEARS OF MY LIFE AND NOW IT'S JOST AND CHE, AND THEY'RE DOING SUCH A GOOD 406 00:30:02,402 --> 00:30:04,938 JOB. Seth: THE BEST. IT'S JUST WONDERFUL 407 00:30:04,938 --> 00:30:09,509 IT WASN'T A GIG I ENJOYED DOING, BUT WHEN I SAW PEOPLE WHO COULD REALLY HANDLE IT LIKE YOU AND 408 00:30:09,509 --> 00:30:11,644 AMY, IT WAS WONDERFUL. NOW SO - Seth: WELL, YOU JUST -- YOU 409 00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:14,180 SORT OF DID IT AS A CHARACTER. ISN'T THAT A SAFE WAY TO SAY IT? I DID, AND I -- AND IT DIDN'T 410 00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,716 REALLY FIT I WAS TRYING TO BE STRAIGHT ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND NOT 411 00:30:16,716 --> 00:30:21,421 ACCEPTING THE JOKES. YOU GUYS HAD IT PERFECTLY, ESPECIALLY YOU 412 00:30:21,421 --> 00:30:24,724 I THINK PROBABLY YOU WERE ONE OF THE BEST EVER TO DELIVER THAT MATERIAL 413 00:30:24,724 --> 00:30:28,528 AND YOU'VE MADE IT AND YOU MUST HAVE YOUNG PEOPLE ALWAYS COMING TO YOU AND SAYING, 414 00:30:28,528 --> 00:30:31,297 "HOW DO I GET INTO THE BUSINESS?" "HOW DO I GET INTO THE 415 00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:33,667 INDUSTRY?" OR "HOW DO I LEARN ABOUT COMEDY"? 416 00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:36,736 WELL I HAVE -- TONIGHT I'VE GOT SOME TIPS FOR YOU. Seth: OH, GREAT 417 00:30:36,736 --> 00:30:42,742 FOR THOSE YOUNG PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WANT TO LEARN ABOUT COMEDY, AND IMPROV AND STAND-UP. 418 00:30:42,742 --> 00:30:48,748 THE FIRST THING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS YOU'VE GOT TO GO THE NATIONAL COMEDY MUSEUM IN ERIE, 419 00:30:48,748 --> 00:30:54,020 IN JAMESTOWN, NEW YORK IT'S IN THE OLD ERIE RAILWAY STATION THERE. 420 00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:57,624 AND IT TAKES YOU RIGHT FROM, YOU KNOW, THE GREEK COMEDIES, ARISTOPHANES, "THE FROGS," ALL 421 00:30:57,624 --> 00:31:03,963 THE WAY THROUGH THE BLUE COMEDY OF THE '50s. YOU KNOW, THOSE BLUE RECORDS 422 00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:08,335 THAT WOMEN AND MEN WERE MAKING RIGHT THROUGH TO "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" AND "SECOND CITY." 423 00:31:08,335 --> 00:31:13,807 IT IS A MUSEUM OF COMEDY, AND NOT TO BE MISSED AND ANY KID IN HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE THAT 424 00:31:13,807 --> 00:31:19,813 WANTS TO BE A WRITER, A COMEDY WRITER, THEY GO THERE, THEY'RE GOING TO GET AN AFTERNOON COURSE 425 00:31:19,813 --> 00:31:25,285 IN COMEDY HISTORY. AND MY MOTORCYCLE IS THERE THE MOTORCYCLE THAT I RODE TO 426 00:31:25,285 --> 00:31:29,756 "SNL" ON EVERY FOUR --- EACH OF THOSE FOUR YEARS, I RODE DOWN THE NEW YORK THROUGHWAY TAKING 427 00:31:29,756 --> 00:31:33,693 MY LIFE IN MY HANDS ON THAT HARLEY, AND THEY CAME TO ME AND SAID, "IS THERE ANY MEMORABILIA 428 00:31:33,693 --> 00:31:38,098 WE CAN GET FROM YOUR TIME AT 'SNL'? I SAID, "THE BIKE THAT KEPT ME 429 00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:41,768 ALIVE FOR THOSE FOUR YEARS." SO THAT'S THERE AND THE STORY'S THERE. 430 00:31:41,768 --> 00:31:48,975 THE OTHER THING IS THERE'S AN AUTHOR CALLED KLIPH NESTEROFF, N-E-S-T-R -- -E-R-H-O-F-F. 431 00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:53,813 HE WROTE A BOOK CALLED "THE COMEDIANS. IT'S A MANUAL FOR UNDERSTANDING 432 00:31:53,813 --> 00:31:59,486 BRITISH AND AMERICAN COMEDY, THE INFLUENCE OF CANADIANS IT'S ONE OF THE BEST COMPENDIUMS 433 00:31:59,486 --> 00:32:07,160 OF COMEDY THAT I'VE EVER READ. AND THEN STEVE MARTIN'S BOOK, "BORN STANDING UP," AND HIS BOOK 434 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:12,298 "THE TROUBADOUR" AND THEN JOHN LITHGOW WROTE A BOOK CALLED "DRAMA." 435 00:32:12,298 --> 00:32:15,068 AND SO ANY NOVICE THERE THAT WANTS TO GET INTO THE INDUSTRY, WANTS TO UNDERSTAND RHYTHM, 436 00:32:15,068 --> 00:32:18,972 COMEDY, PERFORMANCE, THE COMMITMENT OF AN ACTOR IN COMEDY, I WOULD SAY THOSE ARE 437 00:32:18,972 --> 00:32:23,209 THE BOOKS TO READ, "BORN STANDING UP," "TROUBADOUR," NESTEROFF'S BOOK, "THE COMEDIAN" 438 00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:27,380 AND GET TO THE MUSEUM IN JAMESTOWN. IT'S THERE BECAUSE 439 00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:31,651 LUCILLE BALL'S HOME WAS THERE. Seth: THAT'S FANTASTIC ADVICE 440 00:32:31,651 --> 00:32:35,355 SO KIND OF YOU TO PASS IT ALONG. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, DAN. 441 00:32:35,355 --> 00:32:37,557 OH, ABSOLUTELY. Seth: IT'S ALWAYS SUCH A PLEASURE 442 00:32:37,557 --> 00:32:40,393 CRYSTAL HEAD ONYX IS AVAILABLE NOW. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 443 00:32:40,393 --> 00:33:01,481 ANYA TAYLOR-JOY. * Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A 444 00:33:01,481 --> 00:33:05,185 TALENTED ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM FILMS LIKE, "EMMA," "SPLIT," AND "THE WITCH." 445 00:33:05,185 --> 00:33:08,355 SHE CURRENTLY STARS IN "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT," WHICH IS STREAMING ON NETFLIX 446 00:33:08,355 --> 00:33:09,756 STREAMING ON NETFLIX LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 447 00:33:09,889 --> 00:33:11,524 DO YOU IMAGINE THAT YOU SAW 448 00:33:11,524 --> 00:33:17,664 THE KING AS A FATHER AND THE QUEEN AS A MOTHER? I MEAN, ONE TO ATTACK, ONE TO 449 00:33:17,664 --> 00:33:22,469 PROTECT? THEY'RE JUST PIECES AND ANYWAY, IT WAS THE BOARD I 450 00:33:22,469 --> 00:33:27,707 NOTICED FIRST. THE BOARD YES 451 00:33:27,707 --> 00:33:33,880 IT'S AN ENTIRE WORLD OF JUST 64 SQUARES I FEEL SAFE IN IT. 452 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:33,913 64 SQUARES I FEEL SAFE IN IT. 453 00:33:34,848 --> 00:33:36,583 Seth: PLEASE WELCOME TO THE SHOW ANYA TAYLOR-JOY 454 00:33:36,583 --> 00:33:39,753 HOW ARE YOU, ANYA? HELLO THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 455 00:33:39,753 --> 00:33:46,192 I'M GOOD, THANKS Seth: THIS SHOW IS SO FANTASTIC, FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T 456 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:50,330 WATCHED IT, YOU PLAY AN ORPHAN WHO IS A CHESS PRODIGY AND OF COURSE, TO SOME DEGREE 457 00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:53,400 YOU HAD TO LEARN THE GAME, I WOULD IMAGINE. HOW DID THAT EDUCATION GO? 458 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,003 YES SO, I HAD THIS WONDERFUL IDEA THAT I WAS GOING TO GET 459 00:33:57,003 --> 00:34:01,274 FANTASTIC AT CHESS, AND YOU KNOW, IT WAS GOING TO BE MY SUPERPOWER FOREVER 460 00:34:01,274 --> 00:34:06,413 BUT THE REALITY WAS THAT I WAS WORKING BACK-TO-BACK AND SO I JUST HAD TO KIND OF GIVE MYSELF 461 00:34:06,413 --> 00:34:11,751 TO IT AND LEARN AS MUCH AS I COULD. BUT THE ACTUAL SEQUENCES WERE 462 00:34:11,751 --> 00:34:15,588 LEARNED FIVE MINUTES BEFORE, BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WAY THAT I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO PLAY 463 00:34:15,588 --> 00:34:18,658 350 GAMES FROM MEMORY. SO, YEAH, JUST FIVE MINUTES BEFORE 464 00:34:18,658 --> 00:34:22,696 Seth: WELL, I WILL SAY IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE, OF COURSE, THE WAY THIS STORY IS 465 00:34:22,696 --> 00:34:26,199 PRESENTED IS THAT SOMEONE WHO IS A CHESS PRODIGY SORT OF SEES THE BOARD AND KNOWS THE WORLD 466 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:30,904 IMMEDIATELY. IT'S NOT THE CASE OF SORT OF LEARNING OVER TIME 467 00:34:30,904 --> 00:34:34,841 SO, I FELT BETTER ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN BAD AT CHESS. 468 00:34:34,841 --> 00:34:40,180 I MEAN, I HAD TO LEARN LIKE -- I HAD TO UNDERSTAND CHESS FOR MYSELF, BECAUSE I FELT 469 00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:43,683 THAT PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IT SO MUCH THAT I COULDN'T JUST SORT OF SHOW UP AND NOT UNDERSTAND 470 00:34:43,683 --> 00:34:48,722 THE THEORY OF IT BUT THE THEORY AND THEN APPLYING THAT THEORY ARE TWO VERY 471 00:34:48,722 --> 00:34:54,294 DIFFERENT THINGS Seth: HAVE YOU PLAYED AT ALL SINCE YOU WRAPPED? 472 00:34:54,294 --> 00:34:58,865 YES I HAVE A HUGE CHESS BOARD HERE WITH ME. 473 00:34:58,865 --> 00:35:05,772 I'M WORKING IN NORTHERN IRELAND, BUT THE CHESS BOARD IS HUGE, AND THAT MEANS THAT IF I HAVE TO GO 474 00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:09,809 HOME, THAT MEANS I'M GETTING ON A PLANE AND THAT'S THE CHESS GIRL WITH THE CHESS SET IN THE 475 00:35:09,809 --> 00:35:13,213 CHESS SHOW [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE IT'S A BIT MUCH 476 00:35:13,213 --> 00:35:16,049 SO I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET IT HOME WITH ME Seth: RIGHT 477 00:35:16,049 --> 00:35:18,885 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE BASICALLY WANTING PEOPLE TO REMEMBER YOU FROM THAT SHOW AND THEN PRAISE 478 00:35:18,885 --> 00:35:22,389 YOU. SO I SEE THAT YOU'RE IN TROUBLE HERE 479 00:35:22,389 --> 00:35:26,092 I WANTED TO DYE MY HAIR RED FOR CHRISTMAS AND I WAS LIKE, "MAYBE NOT THE TIME. 480 00:35:26,092 --> 00:35:31,131 LIKE, MAYBE NOT THIS YEAR. Seth: IT'S GOOD IT'S A VERY NICE POSITION TO BE 481 00:35:31,131 --> 00:35:34,634 IN THAT YOU'RE DOING THAT TO AVOID PEOPLE BEING HAPPY TO SEE YOU AS OPPOSED TO THE OTHER WAY 482 00:35:34,634 --> 00:35:40,840 AROUND YES, I THINK. Seth: YEAH, I THINK SO. 483 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:45,078 YOU -- SO THE SHOW, A LOT OF THE SHOW TAKES PLACE IN KENTUCKY, BUT YOU SHOT MOST OF IT IN 484 00:35:45,078 --> 00:35:50,483 BERLIN HOW -- A CITY THAT'S JUST KNOWN FOR BEING A 24-HOUR CITY 485 00:35:50,483 --> 00:35:54,187 A CITY I LOVE. DID YOU ENJOY YOUR TIME THERE? I LOVED IT. 486 00:35:54,187 --> 00:35:58,558 I ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE IN BERLIN I LOVE THE PEOPLE. 487 00:35:58,558 --> 00:36:04,030 I LOVE THE SPACE THAT THE CITY HAS, BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT IT IS THAT ITS CONNECTION TO 488 00:36:04,030 --> 00:36:09,069 NIGHTLIFE AND DANCING ISN'T NECESSARILY LIKE A LET'S GET WRECKED ALL THE TIME THING 489 00:36:09,069 --> 00:36:13,673 LIKE, YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO IT SEMI-HOLISTICALLY AND WITH THE WAY THAT I WAS WORKING, IT WAS 490 00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:18,345 LIKE -- I DON'T KNOW WE'D FINISH A NIGHT SHOOT AT 5:00 A.M. AND I COULD GO TO THE 491 00:36:18,345 --> 00:36:24,684 CLUB AND DANCE FOR LIKE A LONG TIME AND GET RID OF WHATEVER IT WAS THAT I WAS CARRYING, OR 492 00:36:24,684 --> 00:36:28,188 SUNDAYS, 2:00 UNTIL 8:00 P.M AND THEN YOU GO HOME, HAVE A BATH AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M 493 00:36:28,188 --> 00:36:32,459 READY. I'M PREPARED." Seth: IT'S INTERESTING, 494 00:36:32,459 --> 00:36:37,697 BECAUSE I WOULD IMAGINE HAVING A SORT OF A PHYSICAL OUTLET WOULD BE HELPFUL FOR THIS CHARACTER 495 00:36:37,697 --> 00:36:42,402 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, AGAIN, PLAYING A PRODIGY WHERE SO MUCH IS HAPPENING IN YOUR HEAD, YOU 496 00:36:42,402 --> 00:36:47,307 KNOW, OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE ALWAYS WONDERING WHAT YOUR CHARACTER IS THINKING WHEN YOU'RE AN ACTOR, 497 00:36:47,307 --> 00:36:50,276 BUT THIS WAS A PARTICULARLY THINKY CHARACTER FOR LACK OF A BETTER TERM. 498 00:36:50,276 --> 00:36:56,516 DID YOU FIND THAT CHALLENGING? I WAS DESPERATELY THINKY IN THIS PROGRAM, ABSOLUTELY 499 00:36:56,516 --> 00:37:02,522 I DON'T KNOW I THINK I'VE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO PLAY VERY INTROSPECTIVE 500 00:37:02,522 --> 00:37:07,861 CHARACTERS, AND I WAS TOLD BY SOMEBODY FAR MORE TALENTED THAN I AM THAT IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT 501 00:37:07,861 --> 00:37:12,232 THOUGHTS IT WILL SHOW ON YOUR FACE AND IF THEY'RE STICKING A CAMERA THAT CLOSE TO YOUR FACE, 502 00:37:12,232 --> 00:37:16,736 YOU HOPE THAT THE AUDIENCE IS GETTING WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE GIVING OUT. 503 00:37:16,736 --> 00:37:21,641 SO, YEAH, I THINK GETTING TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME IN BETH'S HEADSPACE WAS WONDERFUL BECAUSE 504 00:37:21,641 --> 00:37:26,046 I REALLY CARE ABOUT HER AS A PERSON, BUT IT WAS CERTAINLY AN INTENSE EXPERIENCE 505 00:37:26,046 --> 00:37:31,584 LIKE, I WAS READY AT THE END Seth: SO YOU WERE BORN IN MIAMI, GREW UP IN BUENOS AIRES, 506 00:37:31,584 --> 00:37:37,257 YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE IS SPANISH I HEARD THAT YOU LEARNED BASICALLY HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH 507 00:37:37,257 --> 00:37:40,326 FROM "HARRY POTTER," IS THAT CORRECT? YES 508 00:37:40,326 --> 00:37:44,597 Seth: OKAY. MY UNCLE TAUGHT ME TO READ AND TO SPEAK AT THE SAME TIME 509 00:37:44,597 --> 00:37:49,202 WITH THE "HARRY POTTER" BOOKS. Seth: SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT MAYBE SOME OF YOUR FIRST ENGLISH 510 00:37:49,202 --> 00:37:53,440 THAT YOU COULD SPEAK WAS SPELL-BASED? YES 511 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:59,346 [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS SUCH AN ANNOYING CHILD I LIKE -- GOD BLESS MY PARENTS 512 00:37:59,346 --> 00:38:04,918 IT MEANS THAT I WAS EITHER CASTING SPELLS CONTINUOUSLY OR USING VERY ANNOYING WORDS. 513 00:38:04,918 --> 00:38:08,421 LIKE I WAS SUCH A PRECOCIOUS, ANNOYING LITTLE KID, IT'S LIKE, "MOMMY, I CLEANED THE DISHES 514 00:38:08,421 --> 00:38:12,892 METICULOUSLY." YOU KNOW, THAT KIND OF THING SO YEAH. 515 00:38:12,892 --> 00:38:15,528 Seth: OH, WELL. I THINK YOU WERE PROBABLY A PRETTY GOOD KID TO HAVE AROUND 516 00:38:15,528 --> 00:38:19,132 NONETHELESS. HEY, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW 517 00:38:19,132 --> 00:38:22,535 IT'S WONDERFUL YOU'RE WONDERFUL IN IT AND IT'S SO LOVELY TO MEET YOU 518 00:38:22,535 --> 00:38:26,239 OH, LIKEWISE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME. Seth: "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT" IS 519 00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,775 STREAMING ON NETFLIX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT. 520 00:38:28,775 --> 00:38:53,767 * Seth: COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR ALL NEW SHOWS AND A GREAT LINE 521 00:38:53,767 --> 00:38:57,604 UP OF GUESTS KALEY CUOCO, HUGH LAURIE, RACHEL BLOOM, MICHAEL MOORE AND 522 00:38:57,604 --> 00:39:01,441 HUGH GRANT MY PRODUCER WANTS ME TO DO MY HUGH GRANT IMPRESSION HERE, BUT 523 00:39:01,441 --> 00:39:06,246 I WON'T DO IT. OR WILL I? I DIDN'T KILL THAT WOMAN, 524 00:39:06,246 --> 00:39:12,052 NICOLE KIDMAN. PLUS, ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOKS. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 525 00:39:12,052 --> 00:39:34,341 * Seth: I WANNA THANK MY GUESTS, DAN AYKROYD AND 526 00:39:34,341 --> 00:39:37,510 ANYA TAYLOR-JOY. I WANNA THANK CARTER McLEAN AND THE 8G BAND. 527 00:39:37,510 --> 00:39:40,814 STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH. AND USUALLY, RIGHT NOW, AMBER SHOWS UP TO TELL ME TO GET OUT 528 00:39:40,814 --> 00:39:44,517 SO SHE CAN MOVE IN HERE FOR TOMORROW'S "AMBER RUFFIN SHOW. SETH, YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU 529 00:39:44,517 --> 00:39:49,222 HAVE TO LEAVE, SO I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU WITH A LOOK Seth: OOH, THAT'S AN 530 00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:52,726 EFFECTIVE LOOK STAY SAFE, WASH YOUR HANDS, WEAR A MASK 531 00:39:52,726 --> 00:39:56,062 WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU * 532 00:39:56,062 --> 00:40:00,367 * WE LOVE YOU SO FREAKING BA FREAKING MEAN IT 533 00:40:00,367 --> 00:40:04,637 WE LOVE YOUR GUTS * * YOUR GUTS AND YOUR BUTT BUT MOSTLY YOUR GUTS * 534 00:40:04,637 --> 00:40:07,040 * WE LOVE YOUR GUTS WE LOVE YOUR BUT WE LOVE YOUR GUT