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00:00:00,751 --> 00:00:04,379
[ "America The Beautiful"
plays ]
Dre: The American Dream
says work hard,

2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:08,884
pay your dues, and anything
you ever want can be yours.

3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,594
Unless you're Black.

4
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:14,598
To get even a tiny drop
of that respect we deserve,

5
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:17,017
Black people
have to be the best.

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00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,520
No, the greatest.

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00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,897
And because
we have to be great,

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00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:25,776
that excellence oozes
through everything we do ‐‐

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00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,570
how we walk, how we talk,

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00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,281
and especially how we look.

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00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,908
We don't have a choice.

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00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:35,869
Our path to the American Dream
is so narrow

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that one perceived slip
brings out the haters.

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00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,876
Serena was on her way
to winning another French Open,

15
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,338
but all they could talk about
was her catsuit.

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00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,424
Barack Obama went three racks
in his closet,

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00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,927
and everyone lost their minds.

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So, as always,
Black people gotta do

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00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,808
even more than we already do.

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That's why the Johnsons
always bring it.

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Time for
a freshness check.
Okay.

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00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,773
So, Adidas top
and sweats,

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and I even got the socks.

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Okay. No notes.

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00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:11,154
You are my favorite.
Get outta here.

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These shoes don't drop
for another month.

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Don't listen
to what I just told him.

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You're my favorite.
Alright.

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[ Ominous chord strikes ]

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00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:25,210
Whoa! Whoa! Do you think
you're leaving this house

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00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,505
looking like you've been rolling
around in flour all day?!

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Don't you move.
You stay right there.

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00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,968
Unh‐unh! Did you really think
you were gonna leave this house

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00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,553
with them
fire‐startin' legs?

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What you think
this is, huh?

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Mnh‐mnh.
I ain't the one.

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Devante,
I ain't the one.

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What are you doing?

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He thinks I'm the one, Bow.
I ain't the one.

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00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,273
Come here, boy.
Okay. Oh ‐‐

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[ Scoffs ] Like I'm gonna let
this little boy's knees

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00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,569
undo all of Dr. King's work.

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You are presentable.
Beat it. Unh!

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I get it, Dre.
He's ashy.

45
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,956
But don't you think you went
a little bit overboard there?

46
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I'm having flashbacks

47
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,084
to when you
shaved Jack's head

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because his lineup
was off.

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00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,838
There's no such thing
as overreacting

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00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,549
when your family's honor
is at stake.

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What my baby
talkin' about?

52
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,094
Our family honor?

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This one was
gonna let Devante

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go to school ashy.

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Oh, Lord.
Rainbow: Dre,
that's not what I said.

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She tryin'
to get that baby snatched up

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by Black CPS!

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00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,103
Mm‐hmm.

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What's...Black CPS?

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Black Child
Protective Services!

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Okay. That's ‐‐
That's not a thing.

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Oh, it's a thing.

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They guard our kids

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against Black parents
who ain't got no damn sense.

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Okay.
You.

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Snatched up that Baxter boy
when Dre was 7

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'cause he always had

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crusty eyes
and chapped lips.

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That...didn't happen.

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You better believe
it happened.

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[ Scoffs ]
Swooped in like the feds

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with that, uh,
Elián González

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and placed him
with a family of witnesses

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on the good side
of the 10 Freeway!

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00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,099
Uh, thank you so ‐‐
Thank you so much, Ruby.

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Ashy.
Yeah, thank you.

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[ Scoffs ]
Thank you.

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00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,521
Yeah, no.
She's right.

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Is she?

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Yea‐‐

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I'm talking about Devante

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knowing he should never
leave this house

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looking like
a little Dennis Rodman.

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00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,198
Well, I think you need to be
a little less worried

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about Devante's legs

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and a little bit
more worried

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about the things
you say to him.

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The things
I say to him?
Yeah.

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I'm talking no different than
how I talk to all of our kids.

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00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,709
What we learned
about parenting

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00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,254
has evolved
since we had Zoey.

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It is very important for us
to stay up on what's new.

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Just last week,
I heard a podcast

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where they shared
new research...

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Mm‐hmm.
...saying that the words
we use have meaning,

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including
the positive ones.

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So when we say to our kids,
"Oh, you're so smart,

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you're so pretty,
you're so strong,"

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00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,401
they think that
they have no value

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00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,986
if they are not
those things.

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00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,446
Well, what makes a child
valuable?

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Because they don't have
no money.

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00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,075
Okay, well,
I just don't want us

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00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,453
to give our kids
a complex.

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00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,580
We're four for four, Bow!

106
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,332
Zoey went to college,
Junior has a job,

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00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,418
Diane takes
all honor classes,

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and Jack ‐‐

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Jack used the can opener
the other day.

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I'm not worried.

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You know what? Fine, Dre.
Forget I said anything.

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I already have.
Okay, great.

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I love you so much.
Bye‐bye.
Love you, too.

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Olivia: Wow.

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I'm impressed with the whole
routine they have here.

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When I was in school,

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any old pervert
could walk on campus.

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Oh, no. It used to be
like that over here, too,

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before we found out Coach Weeks
wasn't a gym teacher.

120
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:37,027
Whoa! Wha‐‐ You guys have
Picture Day tomorrow?!

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See, this is the kind
of stuff that should
be in the calendar.

122
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,948
Yep, and I know exactly
what my look is gonna be.

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Bookish beauty
who turns heads

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just by taking off
her glasses.

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Mm. Diane, that's just
some dumb movie trope. You ‐‐

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Oh, my God!
You're stunning!

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Thank you.
Mm‐hmm.

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What about you, Jack?
What do you got planned?

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Oh, I'm just gonna hit it
with my classic ‐‐

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the "bless 'em."

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00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:02,177
♪♪

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00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,638
Okay. Are you sure you want
to go with that, Jack?

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00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,389
Your high‐school
yearbook photo

134
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,434
is one of your top‐four
lifetime photos of all time!

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00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,228
Yeah.
It's right up there
with your driver's license,

136
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,313
your passport,
and your wedding photo.

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00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,232
And my personal favorite ‐‐
mugshot.

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Look at these baby waves.
I'm not pressed. I got this.

139
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,403
Okay, no, Jack,
this is not a joke.

140
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This picture
will follow you forever.

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00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,866
In mine, there was
a weird shadow on my chest,

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and everybody thought
I was stuffing my bra.

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They called me "Crinkle Cups"
every day after that

144
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,914
for three years.

145
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,541
It's how they announced me
at graduation.

146
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,125
Wow.
Yeah.

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00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,337
Uh, thank you, Olivia.
I‐I guess it is a big photo.

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00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,673
It is, yeah.
I said that.

149
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,508
Yeah, but you're
unreliable.
Yeah, seriously,
though.

150
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,676
Shouldn't you be at work
right now?

151
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,553
Get out.
Get a job, bro.

152
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,012
I got a job.

153
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,639
Jack:
Disappointed.
Don't play with my bag.

154
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:51,726
♪♪

155
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,603
That's a hundred.

156
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,356
Wow. I did not think
you were gonna do it.

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00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,567
And all
for just $44.

158
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,068
Oh, yeah.

159
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,570
Uh, this might be
a bad time to ask,

160
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,739
but I actually need
to borrow exactly $44.

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00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,284
Hey. What's going on,
fellas?
[ Muffled cough ]

162
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,743
Check this out.

163
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Bow thinks the way
I talk to Devante

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is gonna mess him up.

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00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,000
Mm.
Well, you named
him Devante.

166
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,502
Uh, that doomed him
to ride the bus.

167
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,046
But lookit. So what?
You know, he's had
trauma in his life.

168
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,256
Big deal.

169
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:24,843
Trauma actually makes kids
better, okay?

170
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,846
Look at Kawhi Leonard,
Prince Harry, Batman.

171
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,723
Don't forget about Simba.
[ Chuckles ]

172
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,391
I had an uncle
just like that.

173
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He tried to kill me
a gang of times.

174
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,104
Yeah. Dre, think about all
the great men we'd miss out on

175
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,898
if they didn't go
through trauma as kids.

176
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,900
I haven't
traumatized him, okay?

177
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,484
I'm just telling him
like it is,

178
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:44,195
and if I come off blunt,
no big deal, alright?

179
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,280
Kids are resilient.

180
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,573
I completely agree.

181
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,117
It is a father's duty
to be direct,

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00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,952
to prepare them
for the world.
Mm!

183
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,830
It's all this touchy‐feely crap
that the moms tell 'em.

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00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,415
That's what
screws 'em up.

185
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,626
Yeah, like, uh, "Someone will
love you for who you are."

186
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,586
"Bullies are just
jealous of you."

187
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,255
"No one's gonna make fun
of your tail, Josh."

188
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,882
You had a tail?

189
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,966
That tracks.

190
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,800
Hey, Dre?
Dre: Mm?

191
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,552
Freak here is right.

192
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,347
The real world
needs real talk.

193
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,807
Exactly. If I didn't
give it to him raw,

194
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,142
I wouldn't be doing my job

195
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,810
as a loving, present
Black father.

196
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,936
That's right.

197
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,980
My Black father
was very present.

198
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,398
Gave me notes
on everything ‐‐

199
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:24,027
how to chew my food,
my handwriting, how to snore...

200
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,821
how weird my nipples look
through my shirts.

201
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,115
By pointing out my flaws,
it made me a better person.

202
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,408
Wait, wait, wait.

203
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,702
Is that why you wear vests
all the time?

204
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,454
Because of
your weird nipples?

205
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,580
Fashion choice only.

206
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,832
Okay, guys,
thank you for your input,

207
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,670
and my children will not be
developing any weird complexes.

208
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,297
They know
that I love them all

209
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,965
and I'm coming
from a good place.

210
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:49,469
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some real work to do.

211
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,099
You can see them
through my hands?

212
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,476
Here's the thing ‐‐
I know I'm a good dad.

213
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,104
I'm teaching my children
the right lessons,

214
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,897
and that's why
they're just fine.

215
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,901
Kids! Come get this
fancy‐ass pizza that's...

216
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,320
not as good but more expensive
than Pizza Hut!

217
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,034
Devante:
I'm ashy, Daddy.

218
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,036
I don't want to be ashy.

219
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,581
Oh, man.

220
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,749
I broke my kid.

221
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,460
[ Clattering ]
What the hell?

222
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,087
Man:
Police, police, police!

223
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,088
Okay!
Black CPS.

224
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,840
Where's the child you broke?

225
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:34,013
♪♪

226
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,807
We're taking you with us
to La Jolla.

227
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,100
You'll be safe there.

228
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,185
Devante: Bye, Daddy.

229
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,729
But you didn't see him,
man!

230
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,982
Every time he took a step,
his knees ignited a fire!

231
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,276
It's his mama's fault!

232
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,362
♪♪

233
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,072
[ Sighs ]

234
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,449
Okay, buddy.

235
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,413
I tried to fight it,
but Bow was right.

236
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,415
I gave our kids a complex.

237
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,044
Why do you have
that guilty face?

238
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,211
What did you do?

239
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,838
I think
I broke our baby, Bow.

240
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:10,633
He was putting lotion on
like a redhead on a beach!

241
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:13,219
The whole room smelled like
a Bath & Body Works.

242
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,305
Oh, Dre...

243
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,807
Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre.

244
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:22,062
It seems as if your...drive
to be the best dad ever

245
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:26,649
has skidded on the lotion
of your bad decisions.

246
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,485
I told you
this would happen.

247
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,779
Words have consequences!

248
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,947
Two years of saying
"pee in the toilet,"

249
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,241
and this is what sticks?

250
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,118
Ah, I think I messed up
one of our kids.

251
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,329
Mnh.
One of your kids?

252
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,040
Come on, big guy.
All of us need therapy.

253
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,792
What are you talking about?
You're fine, boy.

254
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,794
I can't even play games
'cause you told me

255
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,378
the only point
of competition

256
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,422
is to wipe the floor
with the blood of your enemies.

257
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,590
And?

258
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,842
He breaks out into hives
before game night.

259
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,385
See, Dre?

260
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,929
Words are very powerful.

261
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,640
But now that you're ready
to evolve, I...

262
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,143
I have the perfect podcast
for you.

263
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,980
[ Sweetly ]
A child is like a boat,

264
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:11,152
and a parent
is like a gentle breeze.

265
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,238
Those are just my thoughts.

266
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,490
Thoughts from a doctor.

267
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,660
I'm Dr. Rainbow Johnson.

268
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,997
Thank you for listening
to "Bow Knows Parenting"

269
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:27,001
with Dr. Rainbow Johnson, MD.

270
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,967
[ Normal voice ] Okay.
Well, that did not record.

271
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,096
I didn't mean
to mess up my kid.

272
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,807
I guess I just got to
figure out a way to fix this.

273
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,894
No, no! Let the expert
handle Devante.

274
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,897
You just try not to cause
any more damage, alright?

275
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,149
Yeah.

276
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,568
I'm gonna go save
my ‐‐ my kid.

277
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,738
Okay, look.
I know this looks bad,

278
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,782
but if we
learned anything

279
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,367
from the Michael Jordan
documentary,

280
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,245
it's that there's
a price for greatness.

281
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,872
Oh, no.
Here come the hives.

282
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,540
Okay...
[ Groans ]

283
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:10,295
♪♪

284
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,796
Look. Please don't stop
on my account.

285
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,047
I am very entertained.

286
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,924
I've been here for hours,
but I can't figure out

287
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,634
what I'm gonna do
for this school picture.

288
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,178
Nothing I'm trying
is gonna make an impression

289
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,429
that'll stand
the test of time.

290
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,139
Look, look.
Pew, pew, pew!

291
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,684
See? Forgettable.

292
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,978
[ Groans ]
Bro, you are missing

293
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,105
the forest
for the trees, man.

294
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:32,192
It's about the whole
look and the vibe you
bring into it.

295
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,777
Okay, um,
what's my vibe right now?

296
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:39,407
"Grown man who watches
children's movies...alone."

297
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,910
I'm gonna blow this.

298
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,830
Look.
Don't you worry, friend.

299
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,665
I've got your back.

300
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,418
[ Kool & the Gang's
"Hollywood Swinging" plays ]

301
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,296
♪♪

302
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:57,467
So, Diane had gotten
her hooks into Jack,

303
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,678
and it was going to be a test
of whether I could keep myself

304
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,014
from doing lasting damage
to my kids.

305
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,557
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

306
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,517
Because this...

307
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,353
this was not it.

308
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,854
♪♪

309
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,105
[ Bell dinging ]

310
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,442
♪ Say hey, hey, hey ♪

311
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,610
♪ What ya got to say? ♪

312
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,737
Look...

313
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,738
at you.

314
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,490
See, Diane's
made me realize

315
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,408
that the way to make
a lasting impression

316
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,452
is to channel
those NBA greats.

317
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,955
If my classmates are gonna
remember me for anything,

318
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:30,250
it's gonna be that I pulled off
the Full Westbrook.

319
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,751
Wait.

320
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,170
Ah. Can't forget
my timepiece.

321
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,089
It makes the fit.

322
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,007
Yes, it does.

323
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,175
Thanks for your help.

324
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,636
The pleasure
was truly all mine.

325
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,887
What?

326
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,390
While I succeeded
at biting my tongue,

327
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,142
Bow tried to clean up
my mess with Devante.

328
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,520
[ Chuckles ]
Hi, sweetheart.

329
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,146
Look at that nice truck!

330
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,399
Vroom, vroom, vroom!

331
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,026
So, honey, I wanted
to talk to you

332
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,196
about how crazy
Daddy was yesterday.

333
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,198
He was so crazy, right?

334
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,367
Talking about
all that lotion stuff?

335
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,411
My God, I wish I could say
he's gonna be better,

336
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,080
but we both know he's not.

337
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,040
So...

338
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,583
honey, I just want
to make sure you know

339
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:15,295
that there's nothing wrong
with your skin.

340
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,213
You're so strong

341
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,466
and so handsome and...

342
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,010
Wait a minute.

343
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,679
Okay, the podcast said
do not focus on beauty

344
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,639
or he is going to become
an egomaniac.

345
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,807
I got this.

346
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,350
[ Inhales sharply ]

347
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,978
Devante...

348
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,439
you are so smart.

349
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:40,611
Goop said compliments
are the new smoking.

350
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,613
Okay. Honey...

351
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,866
I just want you to understand

352
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,909
that you...

353
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,079
you are
my special little boy ‐‐

354
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,875
but not so special
or so handsome or so smart

355
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,168
that you're gonna ‐‐

356
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,463
you're gonna become
a sociopath, so...

357
00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,964
Do you understand?

358
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,340
[ Devante crying ]

359
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,343
Oh, my God. No.
Oh, God. Oh, no, no.

360
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,679
Okay. Um ‐‐
No, please don't cry!

361
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,182
Please don't cry!
Okay. It's okay.

362
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,349
Sweetheart, it's fine.

363
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,517
Listen. Come here.

364
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,769
Vroom! Vroom!

365
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,730
Look at this truck!
This is my favorite truck!

366
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,315
Vroom, vroom!

367
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,192
Do you want ice cream
for dinner, honey?

368
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,568
[ Crying continues ]

369
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,782
Oh, look at you!
You look beautiful, baby.

370
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,909
I killed Picture Day.

371
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:31,621
See, without my glasses, people
saw a whole new Diane Johnson.

372
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,456
See, Miguel Juarez
did a double take

373
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,083
when I walked by
like a beer commercial,

374
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,043
and his girlfriend
was maaad.

375
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,879
That feeling never
gets old, you know.

376
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,464
The other day,
I started a fight

377
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,382
between a couple
at the fruit stand.

378
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,550
Oh.
[ Laughs ]

379
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,676
Ho!

380
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,386
That's what you wore
for Picture Day?

381
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,806
Yeah. Isn't it dope?
What you think, Grandma?

382
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,683
Well, what I think is,
um...

383
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,063
I'm gonna buy
a dozen yearbooks

384
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,273
and pass 'em out
to all my friends.

385
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,067
Well, you got to let me
autograph 'em

386
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,610
before you pass 'em out.
Alright, now.

387
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,695
Dre: Mm‐hmm.

388
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,989
You cannot
be okay with that.

389
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,034
Well, you know, he's just
expressing himself.

390
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,537
He looks like
he's expressing himself

391
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,497
right into clown college!

392
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,249
You know, I think
I have a connect

393
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,458
on the yearbook committee.

394
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,752
Maybe I can get
the photo wiped?

395
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,254
How you gonna
have your son

396
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,089
out in the streets
looking like that?

397
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,883
Why didn't you talk some sense
into that boy?

398
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,594
I'm trying to watch
how I talk to our kids

399
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,722
because I'm afraid
I'm messing them up.

400
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,683
What you talking about?
Those kids are fine.

401
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,102
Are they?
Because I don't know that.

402
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,730
Warning Devante not to be ashy
probably gave him nightmares.

403
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,983
And if I tell him to work hard,
is he gonna get obsessive?

404
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,485
And if I tell him
work isn't everything,
is he gonna get lazy?

405
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,987
And if I tell him
to keep his chin up,

406
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321
is he gonna get
plastic surgery

407
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,115
and end up looking like
Michael Jackson?!

408
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,284
Hey, hey, now.
Come on.

409
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,995
Ain't no sense in getting
all emotional, pumpkin.

410
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,496
I'm not emotional!

411
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,373
Yes, you are.

412
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,667
Now, you the man
of this house.

413
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,794
You got to keep
your emotions in check!

414
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,130
Just like I've been telling you
since you were a kid!

415
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,798
[ Voice breaking ]
You're right, Mama.

416
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,592
I'll keep my emotions
in check.

417
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,968
'Course I'm right.

418
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,389
You go on over there and make
yourself a snack or somethin'.

419
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,308
And if you're gonna cry,
you go somewhere

420
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,976
where them kids
won't hear you!

421
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,227
Yes, ma'am.

422
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,229
[ Scoffs ]

423
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,939
I'll cry quietly.

424
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,483
Rainbow: Dre?
[ Sobbing ]

425
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,195
Dre!
What are you doing?

426
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,905
[ Crying ] My mom said
I shouldn't cry

427
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,531
in front of the babies.

428
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,617
I guess our kids aren't the only
ones that are affected

429
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:36,370
by something that their parents
have said to them.

430
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,538
Yeah.

431
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,831
Well...

432
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:43,920
At least I fixed Devante.

433
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,087
[ Whimpers ]

434
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,881
[ Strained sob ]

435
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,674
No, I didn't.

436
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,096
I blew it!
I blew it big‐time!

437
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,183
[ Sobbing ]

438
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,768
I want cake.

439
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,811
[ Sobbing ] There's more
under the sink!

440
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,396
Really?
Yeah.

441
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,565
Chocolate, strawberry.

442
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,570
[ Sighs ]

443
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,741
Babe.
Yeah?

444
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,912
Do you think I've been
using these secret cakes

445
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:20,081
as a way to soothe myself
as I'm trying to control

446
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,874
the natural emotions
I'm pushing down?

447
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,252
Well, Dre, when Junior
dropped out of college,

448
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,630
you gave the bakery half
of your paycheck every month,

449
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,881
so, you know...

450
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,675
Yeah. I'm sorry.

451
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,134
I don't know
what all that was.

452
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,555
You know, I'm just now
starting to realize that...

453
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,515
it was a lot of pressure
growing up in a house

454
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,392
where I was told
to check my emotions

455
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,310
because I was
the man of the house.

456
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:45,022
Ugh. That's a lot of
responsibility on a child.

457
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,233
Yeah, but get this.
Hmm?

458
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,151
I understand why she was
telling me that.

459
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,112
Why?

460
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,947
She was doing her best
to prepare me

461
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,032
for the world
that I was in.

462
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,158
Hmm.

463
00:17:56,158 --> 00:18:00,079
But still...I always
had a voice in my head

464
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:04,458
making me feel bad
every time I got emotional.

465
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:09,130
And today I realized
that voice was my mama.

466
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,132
Dre.
Hmm?

467
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,885
We are gonna be the voice
in our child's head.

468
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,264
So what are we gonna do
about it?

469
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,266
I do not know.

470
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,518
You know, if ‐‐ if we're gonna
fail no matter what...

471
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,769
Mm‐hmm.

472
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,480
...do we just lean into it?
I‐I don't know.

473
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,190
A‐Abandon them?
No, Dre.

474
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,775
That's still illegal.

475
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,319
Okay, so we just
live with the fact

476
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,863
knowing we're gonna be the voice
in their heads influencing them

477
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,991
towards every good and bad
decision that they'll ever make.

478
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,326
Yes, I think so.

479
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,119
Mm!

480
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,664
You know, I ‐‐ I have my
parents' voices in my head, too.

481
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,666
Mm‐hmm.
But they're super positive.

482
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,627
They were constantly telling me
over and over and over

483
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,712
and over again
how smart I was, you know?

484
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,213
But it made me believe

485
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,382
that the way
to make people happy...

486
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,134
is to achieve.

487
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,510
Mm.

488
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,928
Oh.

489
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,389
That's why I'm always telling
people that I'm a doctor!

490
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,683
Ha ha! Yeah!
It's the voice in my head!

491
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,810
Ah.
[ Laughing ]

492
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,772
Well, maybe now that you
realize it, you'll stop.

493
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,441
No.
I'm not hurting anybody.

494
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:11,984
No, you're just
killing them.

495
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,527
I am not killing people,
Dre.

496
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,779
There's, like, one a year.

497
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,530
And I don't kill them.
They just die.

498
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,032
It's not my fault.

499
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,995
[ Cellphone chimes ]

500
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:28,167
Oh, wow.
Jack, I am really sorry.

501
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,212
What? Did you make me eat
something that's not food again?

502
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:34,006
No, somebody from the yearbook
committee leaked your photos.

503
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,174
They're everywhere.

504
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,258
Really?

505
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:41,472
Oh, no, yo.
They made you a meme.

506
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,515
Gimme that.

507
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,435
This is dope!

508
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,520
Wait. What?!     Wait. What?!

509
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,105
I'm being shared everywhere.

510
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,731
I got to make merch
and an Instagram

511
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,109
where I can localize
all the posts.

512
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,404
Oh, my God.
I could be an NFT.

513
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,072
I'm gonna be a legend!

514
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,576
We do not deserve him.

515
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:05,621
I've got to figure out
how to screw him out
of that NFT money.

516
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:09,583
I'm not perfect.
I'm going to make mistakes.

517
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:13,254
But knowing those mistakes
will become voices in his head

518
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,297
makes the stakes feel too high.

519
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,718
All I'm saying is...
we can be imperfect together

520
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,886
on the path
to getting better.

521
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,388
Alright?
You get me, son?

522
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:26,225
I love you, Daddy.
Oh.

523
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,020
But as long as one of those
voices is me saying...

524
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,648
I love you, too,
Devante.

525
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:36,360
...I've done my job
as a parent.

526
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,987
Okay. Go get ready.

527
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,116
I love you, too, Dad.

528
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,160
Don't you have
your own place?

529
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457
Jack:
When that meme first dropped,

530
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:50,916
I thought it would die down
in a few days.

531
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,209
But before I knew it,
it took on a life of its own.

532
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,919
I was getting offers
left and right.

533
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,838
My face was on billboards,
they let me dance

534
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,798
at the Puppy Bowl
halftime show,

535
00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,801
and I became the co‐host
of a new "Soul Train"

536
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,179
with a hologram Don Cornelius.

537
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,181
The meme
became so popular

538
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,557
that I sold my life rights

539
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,017
to the highest
corporate bidder.

540
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,435
That's how I became
a trillionaire.

541
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,563
And that's also how
you guys got your names,

542
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:14,857
Sierra Mist
and Mountain Dew.

543
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,486
Anyway, let's take
that warp‐speed jet

544
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,488
to visit Aunt Diane
and Uncle Michael B. Jordan.

545
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,156
Come on.