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Dre: In America,
anyone can serve their country
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00:00:08,768 --> 00:00:09,856
at the highest levels,
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no matter where
you started from.
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Blanche Bruce
was born a slave,
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but became a U.S. Senator
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just 10 years
after the Civil War.
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Honest Abe's first house
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was smaller
than my sneaker closet,
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but his last house
was a little bit bigger.
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00:00:27,439 --> 00:00:30,225
Jimmy Carter
was a peanut farmer.
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I'm gonna say it again --
peanut farmer!
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And he became President.
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And more recently,
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someone went from making
margaritas in Manhattan
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to making history
in Congress.
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Anyone can go from the outhouse to the White House,
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no matter their background.
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You just have to have
what it takes.
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Great news, guys!
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I'm running
for Congress!
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You mean you're running fromCongress.
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At first, I wasn't sure
I had what it takes,
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but it turns out
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a painting I won
in a poker game
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was by Jean-Michel
Basqui-something.
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So I sold that,
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00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,739
and now I definitely
have what it takes...
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millions and millions
of dollars.
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Ahh, I love the smell of
democracy in the morning.
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Yep, anyone can run...
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damn it.
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--Captions by VITAC--
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What's your angle
with this?
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Tax scam?
35
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Trying to launch your
own TV network? What?
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There's no angle.
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I just feel like this country's
given me so much.
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It seems like
I can take a little more.
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Boss, I'd trust anyonewhose ancestors
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pushed someone
off the Mayflower.
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You already have
great name recognition.
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Your name's on the wall,
my checks,
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all my business cards.
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You support this,
Charlie?
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There's always room
for one Black guy
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in a campaign like this.
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Bush had Powell,
Trump had Carson,
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Obama had...Obama.
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How did you even get
on the ballot?
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I'm a rich White man.I asked.
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Gentlemen [Sighs]
I believe it's time
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for me to go get photographed
with an eagle.
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[ Eagle cries ]
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Careful with that bird.
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He was a Christmas present
from Ted Nugent.
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[ Dog barks, eagle cries ]Aah!
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Run, Ginger!
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[ Dog barking ]
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[ Dog squeals ]
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Well, you're never
going to believe
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00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:16,200
what Stevens says
he's gonna do.
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Hunt Josh for sport?
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00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,855
Fund a South American
coup?
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De-integrate baseball?
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Stop calling Inglewood
a "basketball neighborhood"?
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No, he's gonna run
for Congress!
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Oh.Well, that makes sense.
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How does that make sense?
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It's normal behaviorfor guys like him --
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when the wiener pillsstop working,
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they try to screw
the country.
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Problem is White men
don't know how to be bored.
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That's why they're always
opening up vineyards.
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Well,he's wasting his time.
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As soon as Ronan Farrowgets ahold of that folder
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labeled "Do not show
Ronan Farrow,"
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it's over.
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Well, I'm for it.
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I'm in favor of anything
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that brings us closerto society breaking down.
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Don't get too excited.
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Stevens doesn't stand
a chance.
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I wouldn't be so sure.
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A tall White man with
all his original hair?
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[ Laughs ]
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He's already
got my vote.
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00:03:03,204 --> 00:03:04,814
Mm-hmm. Mine too.
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I like
that he's a bad person.
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A politician should be willing
to get his hands dirty.
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Marion Barry bought crack.
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You tellin' me he can't handle
the parks department?
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Guys, you really think Stevens
can get elected?
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Dad, I am totally
with you.
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What are his chances?
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He's sexist,
out of touch,
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completely amoral --
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Oh, God.
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He's gonna win.
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You're probably right,Jack.
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I'm Junior.
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Uh, sorry.
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Kind of been
on my own show.
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Anyway, money talks,
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and there's never beenmore of it in politics.
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Thank you,
Citizens United.
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That's a soccer team.No, it's not.
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Oh, sorry,
"football" team.
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Aww, buddy.
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Citizens United
was a court case
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that removed limits
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on how much corporationscan spend on elections.
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Mm-hmm.
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Makes it harder for
regular folks to win.
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Sure, it's harder,
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but grassroots candidates
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are running
all across the country.
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People are energized.
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When you have ideas
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and the support of the people,
no opponent --
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no matter how much money
they have -- can stop you.
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An inspirational candidate
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00:04:07,398 --> 00:04:09,574
can ignite the will
of the voters,
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fulfilling the true promise
of democracy.
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[ Laughs ]
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You almost had me there.
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"True promise
of democracy."
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That's good, Bow.
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Alright.Who else wants pizza?
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00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:26,330
You know Stevens has settled
eight paternity suits?
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00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:27,723
I didn't even
have to dig.
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00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:29,333
He's on Twitter
bragging about it.
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00:04:29,377 --> 00:04:33,119
Guys, we're dropping McDonald's,Coca-Cola, and Disney.
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We've got a new,
bigger client...
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00:04:35,078 --> 00:04:35,905
moi.
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We are gonna make
so much money off of me.
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First things first.
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Josh, purchase me
some blue jeans
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so I look approachable
to the lower classes.
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00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:47,743
I will order something
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00:04:47,786 --> 00:04:49,440
from the Brett Favrecollection, sir.
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00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,355
Okay, this is too much.
142
00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:53,052
What do you mean?
143
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,837
I don't know
what he stands for,
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and I don't think
it should be my job
145
00:04:56,708 --> 00:04:58,188
to support
his ego trip.
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00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,103
I'm starting to getuncomfortable with all of this.
147
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:01,365
Stevens:
Alright, everybody.
148
00:05:01,409 --> 00:05:03,541
I'm gonna need you all
to come with me,
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00:05:03,585 --> 00:05:06,109
especially
Dre and Charlie.
150
00:05:06,152 --> 00:05:07,502
Why?
151
00:05:07,545 --> 00:05:09,460
[ Crowd cheering ]
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00:05:09,504 --> 00:05:11,157
Okay.
153
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:13,203
I'm definitelyuncomfortable with this.
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Come on, Dre.
155
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,467
We got the best seats
in the house.
156
00:05:16,511 --> 00:05:18,208
The camera can see us
and everything.
157
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,253
Stevens: I'm a tough
business leader.
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00:05:20,297 --> 00:05:22,604
My opponents are asking,
159
00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:25,563
"What does a wealthy man
know about the common man?"
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00:05:25,607 --> 00:05:27,826
See for yourselves!
161
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,133
Man: [ Gasps ]Those are the new Favres!
162
00:05:30,176 --> 00:05:31,874
I'm very accustomed
to dungaree trousers.
163
00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:34,050
Why are these people
clapping?
164
00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:35,660
He doesn't believe
in anything.
165
00:05:35,704 --> 00:05:38,533
This is just
a joke to him!
166
00:05:38,576 --> 00:05:40,926
The right person
can fulfill
167
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:43,189
the true promise
of democracy.
168
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,017
Do you think
I'm the right person?
169
00:05:45,061 --> 00:05:46,715
No, Taylor Swift is.
170
00:05:46,758 --> 00:05:48,847
Of course it's you, Negro!
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Do something!Stevens: ...first order
of business
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00:05:50,414 --> 00:05:51,894
will be to eliminate taxes
173
00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,330
on privately owned
submarines.
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00:05:53,374 --> 00:05:54,897
Yo, Stevens![ Crowd murmuring ]
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00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,420
You know,
I'm really happy for you.
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00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,901
I'mma let you finish,
but I'm running.
177
00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:01,773
Andre Johnson
is running for Congress!
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00:06:01,817 --> 00:06:03,079
[ Crowd booing ]
179
00:06:03,122 --> 00:06:07,344
Lock him up!
180
00:06:10,565 --> 00:06:12,044
You're running
for Congress?
181
00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:13,219
You said it yourself --
182
00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:14,656
the right person can win.
183
00:06:14,699 --> 00:06:17,006
Yeah, but I was talking
about a teacher or a nurse
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00:06:17,049 --> 00:06:20,226
or a stunning
anesthesiologist.
185
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:22,794
What made you think
you were the man for the job?
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00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:24,317
Because I'm looking at you
right now,
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00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:25,536
and you are not.
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Jack: Yeah.
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00:06:26,755 --> 00:06:28,017
You always say the news
190
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,714
should be replaced
with another ESPN.
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00:06:29,758 --> 00:06:31,324
And I stand by that.
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00:06:31,368 --> 00:06:33,936
But I still understandhow real people live
193
00:06:33,979 --> 00:06:35,677
better than somebodywho's never known
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what it's like
to pay rent.
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00:06:36,982 --> 00:06:39,332
Isn't that what we wantfrom politicians?
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00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:42,031
Politicians should also
read up on what the job is.
197
00:06:42,074 --> 00:06:45,251
Like, um, what district
are you running for, Dad?
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00:06:45,295 --> 00:06:46,514
This one?
199
00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:48,646
Look,
I've been thinking.
200
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:51,475
All Americans want
the same things, right?
201
00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:52,911
A life of dignity,
202
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,479
where they can provide
a future for their children.
203
00:06:55,523 --> 00:06:57,960
There may be different ways
to achieve that,
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00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:00,223
but if we hold on
to an idea
205
00:07:00,266 --> 00:07:03,052
that unites us
more than divides us,
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00:07:03,095 --> 00:07:06,229
then we can really start
to solve problems.
207
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:07,883
Now, I've had
a little bit to drink,
208
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:09,406
but if I had
my eyes closed,
209
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:11,234
I'd have thought
that was Obama speaking.
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00:07:11,277 --> 00:07:13,889
Yeah, a better-looking,
smarter Obama.
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00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:15,673
Ain't that right, baby?
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00:07:15,717 --> 00:07:17,196
I don't know about this,
Dre.
213
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,676
Bow, I'm serious.
214
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,504
This is important.
215
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:22,463
Without honest peoplein D.C.,
216
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:24,943
how can we expect thingsto get better?
217
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:28,033
And I can't do this
on my own.
218
00:07:28,077 --> 00:07:29,339
Be my Michelle.
219
00:07:31,210 --> 00:07:35,693
♪
220
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:37,521
Tell us who
you're wearing!
221
00:07:37,565 --> 00:07:38,696
Who am Iwearing?
222
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:41,786
My own label, of course.
223
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,919
Hey, Jay and Bey!
224
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:45,486
Aw, you guys left Blue Ivy
at my house,
225
00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:46,791
and now she doesn't
want to leave.
226
00:07:46,835 --> 00:07:47,705
[ Laughs ]
227
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,054
Can we get a comment
228
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:50,621
on the tragic death
of your husband
229
00:07:50,665 --> 00:07:52,362
by barbecue-induced
heart explosion?
230
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,843
It's a sad day
for our family,
231
00:07:54,886 --> 00:07:57,019
but a bright day
for America
232
00:07:57,062 --> 00:07:59,064
because I am now president.
233
00:07:59,108 --> 00:08:01,458
And I'll also be
my own Surgeon General.
234
00:08:01,502 --> 00:08:02,633
Let's do this!
235
00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:05,418
Yes, we can, Dre.
236
00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:08,030
Oh, yes, we can.
237
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:10,032
Great! Can I be
your campaign manager?
238
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:12,687
I know all about
the election process.
239
00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:14,471
I even read
"No Stoppin' the Populace"
240
00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,473
by George Stephanopoulos.
241
00:08:16,517 --> 00:08:18,649
Just hire him.
242
00:08:18,693 --> 00:08:20,521
Fine.
243
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:22,392
My family had my back,
244
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,568
and I was ready
to get to work.
245
00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:26,222
Junior surprised everybody
246
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:29,312
by setting up a call
with Stacey Abrams.
247
00:08:29,355 --> 00:08:30,182
[ Computer beeps ]
248
00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:31,401
Hello, Dre.
249
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,489
I'm so happy to be talking to you today
250
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:34,360
about mail-in voting.
251
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:36,928
What? I thought we were
talking about my campaign.
252
00:08:36,972 --> 00:08:39,278
I may have lied
to both of you,
253
00:08:39,322 --> 00:08:41,629
but since we're here
and the data's free,
254
00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,761
I don't see why we both
can't get
255
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,197
what we want
out of this call.
256
00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:48,549
Okay, look, Stacey Abrams,
I'm running for Congress.
257
00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:49,985
I want to change
the system,
258
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,856
but I'm not sure
where to start.
259
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,554
Running for office
is a lot of work,
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00:08:53,597 --> 00:08:54,816
mostly fundraising.
261
00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:56,600
To beat the big money you're up against,
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00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:57,993
you'll need
community support.
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00:08:58,036 --> 00:08:59,255
Knock on doors,
talk at churches
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00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:00,343
and union meetings.
265
00:09:00,386 --> 00:09:01,518
And that'll be enough?
266
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:02,693
Oh, definitely not.
267
00:09:02,737 --> 00:09:04,608
So I can't imagine you pulling it off.
268
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,828
I was looking
for more of a pep talk.
269
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:09,178
Um... you've lost weight?
270
00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:11,441
Well, thank you,
Stacey Abrams.
271
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,660
Wait a second.
272
00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:14,444
How would you know?
We just met.
273
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:15,750
I don't need to know you
274
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:18,317
to tell you that we need everyone to vote early.
275
00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:19,971
The important thing is making sure
276
00:09:20,015 --> 00:09:21,886
your voice is heard this November.
277
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:24,497
Oh, that is not
a problem for him.
278
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:26,630
He is a very loud man.
279
00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:27,805
Don't you embarrass me
280
00:09:27,849 --> 00:09:29,546
in front of Stacey Abrams,
boy!
281
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:33,637
Hey, Stacey Abrams,
can I get an endorsement?
282
00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:35,334
Sorry, Georgia earthquake.
283
00:09:35,378 --> 00:09:36,597
Rumble, rumble,
rumble, rumble.
284
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,989
B-Best of luck.
285
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:39,600
[ Sam & Dave's "Hold on,
I'm Comin'" plays ]
286
00:09:39,643 --> 00:09:43,299
After getting Stacey Abrams'
implicit endorsement,
287
00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:45,954
I decided to follow her advice
and hit the streets.
288
00:09:45,997 --> 00:09:47,390
♪ Now, don't you ever
feel sad ♪
289
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:50,567
Aww, look at the cute little,wittle baby with the...
290
00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:51,655
♪ Lean on me Ow!
291
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:54,005
♪ When times get bad
292
00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:56,312
♪ When the day come [ Gasps ]
293
00:09:56,355 --> 00:09:58,488
♪ And you're down [ Locks clicking ]
294
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,576
♪ In a river of trouble
295
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,186
[ Doorbell rings ]
296
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,274
♪ You about to drown Hi, neighbor.
297
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,841
I'm Janine Greenstein.
298
00:10:03,885 --> 00:10:04,973
I just wanted to talkto you about --
299
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,278
[ Both grunt ]Ohh!
300
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:07,802
Dre Johnson for Congress.
301
00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:09,934
♪ Hold on Huh.
302
00:10:09,978 --> 00:10:11,544
♪ I'm comin' That kind of worked.
303
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:12,981
Get up, Janine.
304
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:15,200
We've got 30 more housesto hit.
305
00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:17,202
Janine: [ Weakly ]
I landed on a cactus.
306
00:10:17,246 --> 00:10:19,291
Look, I'm not afraid
307
00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:20,989
to answer that question,
Desus and Mero.
308
00:10:21,032 --> 00:10:22,817
When I'm in office,
309
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:25,863
my term is going to be aboutmaking the tough calls.
310
00:10:25,907 --> 00:10:27,691
So here we go --
311
00:10:27,735 --> 00:10:29,214
garlic Parmesan,
Cajun,
312
00:10:29,258 --> 00:10:30,259
and number one
is lemon pepper.
313
00:10:30,302 --> 00:10:31,956
Hold up, my guy!
314
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,131
Buffalo doesn't even crack
the top three
315
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,393
in your wing ranking?
316
00:10:34,437 --> 00:10:35,612
Are you serious?
317
00:10:35,656 --> 00:10:37,005
Nope. Not for me.
318
00:10:37,048 --> 00:10:38,267
I'm losing my mind
right now.
319
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,529
I respect that.
That's bold.
320
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,617
But are you a ranch
321
00:10:40,661 --> 00:10:41,662
or are you a bleu cheese
kind of dude?
322
00:10:41,705 --> 00:10:43,664
Um...
323
00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:46,231
Say bleu cheese,
you'll look like an elitist.
324
00:10:46,275 --> 00:10:47,406
If you say ranch,
325
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:49,278
the voters will know
you're pandering.
326
00:10:49,321 --> 00:10:51,323
How are you gonna
get out of this one, Dad?
327
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:53,151
You know, I get both.
328
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:55,458
I like to dip the drumettesin the ranch
329
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:57,373
and the flats
in the bleu.
330
00:10:57,416 --> 00:10:58,853
Much like America,
331
00:10:58,896 --> 00:11:01,551
I believe ina blending of flavors.
332
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:02,378
Yes!
333
00:11:02,421 --> 00:11:03,814
♪ Hold on
334
00:11:03,858 --> 00:11:05,468
Spoken like a true
man of the people, Dre.
335
00:11:05,511 --> 00:11:06,730
You got my vote, man.
336
00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:07,949
I got to vote for him,as well.
337
00:11:07,992 --> 00:11:08,993
[ Audience cheers ]
338
00:11:09,037 --> 00:11:11,430
Then the hologram
of Biggie
339
00:11:11,474 --> 00:11:13,345
hugs the hologram
of Tupac.
340
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:15,696
Then they both introduce
Kendrick Lamar,
341
00:11:15,739 --> 00:11:17,306
who introduces me.
342
00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:18,829
Do we have the budget
for that?
343
00:11:18,873 --> 00:11:21,658
We have the budget for...
344
00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:23,486
a poster!
[ Chuckles ]
345
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:25,575
Well, well, well...
346
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,143
if it isn't my enemy.
347
00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:29,492
I notice you've been making
some headway,
348
00:11:29,535 --> 00:11:31,712
but I've got just the thing
for that.
349
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:35,280
Announcer:
Andre Johnson has over
a hundred pairs of shoes.
350
00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:37,021
What's he running from?
351
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:38,457
Can we trust a man
352
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:41,025
who still lives
with his parents?
353
00:11:41,069 --> 00:11:43,898
Face it -- Andre Johnson
is out of his depth.
354
00:11:43,941 --> 00:11:46,030
And he can't even swim.
355
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:47,423
Paid for by
the powerful friends
356
00:11:47,466 --> 00:11:48,467
of Leslie Stevens.
357
00:11:48,511 --> 00:11:49,425
[ Eagle cries]
358
00:11:49,468 --> 00:11:51,775
Outstanding!
359
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:52,820
Notes, anybody?
360
00:11:52,863 --> 00:11:54,996
Can we make it
race-baitier?
361
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:55,910
We'll save
the race-baiting stuff
362
00:11:55,953 --> 00:11:57,433
for social-media
pudding.
363
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:59,261
You can't air that.Thank you.
364
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:01,002
Not until you switch
the last photo
365
00:12:01,045 --> 00:12:02,481
to black and white
366
00:12:02,525 --> 00:12:05,006
and slow-zoom on his mouth
to make him look scarier.
367
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:06,529
Whose side are you on?
368
00:12:06,572 --> 00:12:10,011
I'm on the side of becoming
Secretary of Transportation.
369
00:12:10,054 --> 00:12:12,361
Gonna finally get my Celica
out the pound.
370
00:12:12,404 --> 00:12:13,579
You know what?
371
00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:15,146
I refuse to respond
to this.
372
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:16,408
I've got integrity.
373
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:18,497
When you go low,
I go high.
374
00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:19,803
Great.
375
00:12:19,847 --> 00:12:21,196
While you go high,
376
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:23,154
we'll be going to
my $20,000-a-plate
377
00:12:23,198 --> 00:12:24,547
fundraising dinner.
378
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:27,332
My campaign will have madeenough money to crush you
379
00:12:27,376 --> 00:12:29,291
by the time they servethe koala steaks.
380
00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:31,815
♪
381
00:12:31,859 --> 00:12:33,121
Junior: Okay.
382
00:12:33,164 --> 00:12:35,036
So, the next time I get youa radio interview,
383
00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:36,254
try not to say,
384
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,821
"Does anyone still
listen to this?"
385
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,563
Man: Psst! Yo, bro.
386
00:12:40,606 --> 00:12:42,913
Charlie?
Is that you?
387
00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:43,958
Look, man, they told you,
388
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:44,915
if you're gonna sleepin the car,
389
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:46,699
it has to be your own.
390
00:12:46,743 --> 00:12:48,614
Hey, man.
You're Dre Johnson, right?
391
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:50,703
I'm a huge fan.
392
00:12:50,747 --> 00:12:52,009
Look, I heard
through the grapevine --
393
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:53,271
and I have not been
bugging your phone --
394
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,143
that your campaign
could use some funding,
395
00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:57,014
and it just so happens
I've got a check
396
00:12:57,058 --> 00:12:58,450
with your name written
all over it, dogg.
397
00:12:58,494 --> 00:12:59,712
Who are you?Come on, man.
398
00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:00,931
Why does that matter?
I'm just a friend --
399
00:13:00,975 --> 00:13:02,150
a friend with some money.
400
00:13:02,193 --> 00:13:03,934
Where's this money
coming from?
401
00:13:03,978 --> 00:13:05,109
[ Chuckling ] Where's
this money coming from?
402
00:13:05,153 --> 00:13:06,502
C'mon, Dre, you got
so many questions.
403
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:07,503
It's all good, baby.
404
00:13:07,546 --> 00:13:08,939
This is just
one stranger
405
00:13:08,983 --> 00:13:10,767
speaking to another stranger
in a garage
406
00:13:10,811 --> 00:13:12,682
about funding his campaign
with a bunch of money.
407
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:15,250
Why you gotta be
so weird about this?
408
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:16,817
Unh-unh.
409
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:19,123
No one ever gives yousomething for nothing.
410
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,211
Learned that the hard way
411
00:13:20,255 --> 00:13:21,778
when I took a couch
off the curb
412
00:13:21,822 --> 00:13:23,432
and it was
full of earwigs.
413
00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:24,563
So, what's the catch?
414
00:13:24,607 --> 00:13:26,565
There's no catch.
I just want to help.
415
00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:28,176
You take some money,
do some evil,
416
00:13:28,219 --> 00:13:29,830
next thing you know,
you're in Congress.
417
00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:31,875
Did you just say
"do some evil"?
418
00:13:31,919 --> 00:13:33,355
Why would I say
"do some evil"
419
00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:34,965
if I really wanted you
to do some evil, dogg?
420
00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,227
I do want you
to do evil, though.
421
00:13:36,271 --> 00:13:37,185
But why would I say that?
422
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:38,751
That's weird.
C'mon, man.
423
00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:40,188
I'm good.
Alright,
alright, alright.
424
00:13:40,231 --> 00:13:42,538
Here, take my card.
425
00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:43,844
Give me a call if
you change your mind.
We can do some evil.
426
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:48,065
Guy didn't even
get into a car.
427
00:13:48,109 --> 00:13:50,633
Just went right back
into the shadows.
428
00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:51,982
Hello.
I'm calling from
429
00:13:52,026 --> 00:13:54,419
the Andre Johnsonfor Congress campa--
430
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:57,683
Uh, well, that's not a very nicething to say to a child.
431
00:13:57,727 --> 00:13:58,946
I have your phone number.
432
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:00,773
You think I don't have
your address?
433
00:14:00,817 --> 00:14:02,210
My dad's running
for Congress.
434
00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:03,733
Can we have some money?
435
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,648
Oh, so if I send you
50 bucks,
436
00:14:05,691 --> 00:14:07,171
you'll send back 100?
437
00:14:07,215 --> 00:14:08,433
That's a great deal.
438
00:14:08,477 --> 00:14:10,740
And how is
the fish prepared?
439
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,961
Yum.
Let me get two orders.
440
00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:16,137
Yeah, you can charge it
to the campaign.
441
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:18,400
There he is!
442
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:19,967
Good news, Dre.
443
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,185
Well, I need it.
444
00:14:21,229 --> 00:14:23,057
Some shady dude
just tried to bribe me.
445
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,276
Well, you're not gonnaneed his money
446
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,409
'cause --drum roll, please --
447
00:14:27,452 --> 00:14:31,500
today, we raised
almost $600.
448
00:14:31,543 --> 00:14:32,980
$600?
449
00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:34,938
That's not even enough
for our campaign mailers.
450
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,374
And, actually,that was the good news.
451
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,072
Because there's bad news,
too.
452
00:14:38,115 --> 00:14:40,204
Stevens just dropped this.
453
00:14:41,727 --> 00:14:43,599
Andre Johnson's
running for Congress?
454
00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:47,211
[ Laughs]
455
00:14:47,255 --> 00:14:48,952
Andre Johnson, not I,
456
00:14:48,996 --> 00:14:50,606
crashed my Toyota Celica
457
00:14:50,649 --> 00:14:52,216
through the window
of a doughnut shop.
458
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:54,871
He does not follow
the five-second rule.
459
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:56,960
You sold me out, son?
460
00:14:57,004 --> 00:14:59,702
So if I droppeda hot dog right now,
461
00:14:59,745 --> 00:15:01,095
you're not
gonna eat it?
462
00:15:01,138 --> 00:15:03,097
I probably would.
463
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,750
Look,
maybe a lot of people
464
00:15:04,794 --> 00:15:06,622
won't see
that Stevens ad.
465
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:08,276
[ Plane engine whirring ]Well, they'll probably
see this.
466
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:13,455
Smart.
467
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:14,935
It's not
technically slander
468
00:15:14,978 --> 00:15:16,371
if it's written
as a question.
469
00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:17,763
♪
470
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,374
Dre:
I was starting to realize
471
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,984
it was going to take
more than my beliefs
472
00:15:21,028 --> 00:15:22,420
to get into Washington.
473
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,162
Without money,
I was in trouble.
474
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:27,121
Stevens:...preserve, protect,
475
00:15:27,164 --> 00:15:29,993
and defend the Constitutionof the United States,
476
00:15:30,037 --> 00:15:31,821
so help me God.
477
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,997
Time's up, Canada.
478
00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:34,911
[ Alarm blaring ]
479
00:15:34,955 --> 00:15:36,217
[ Gasps ]
480
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:37,305
[ Laughs evilly ]
481
00:15:37,348 --> 00:15:38,306
[ Gasping ]
482
00:15:38,349 --> 00:15:39,611
[ Laughs evilly ]
483
00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:42,484
Nooooooo!
484
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,225
[ Gasps ]
485
00:15:44,268 --> 00:15:45,574
[ Whimpering ]
486
00:15:45,617 --> 00:15:47,402
[ Cellphone beeps ]
487
00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:49,839
Hey, I've thought about
your offer,
488
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,319
and I'm in.
489
00:15:51,362 --> 00:15:53,277
Ooh, this is Dre Johnson.
490
00:15:53,321 --> 00:15:54,452
Please give me dirty money.
491
00:15:57,934 --> 00:15:59,849
If I'd learned anything,
492
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,025
it's that I needed to go all-in to beat Stevens.
493
00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:03,113
Here it is.
494
00:16:03,157 --> 00:16:04,854
Junior:
Leslie Stevens thinks
495
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,683
you're too old to vote.
496
00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:11,208
Why else hasn't he come out
against a maximum voting age?
497
00:16:11,252 --> 00:16:13,515
Maybe it's because
he supports them.
498
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:15,560
Leslie Stevens --
499
00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:19,521
wrong for Grandpa, Grandma,
and America.
500
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:22,306
I'm Andre Johnson,
and I approve this message.
501
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:25,831
Riling up the elderly
for personal gain?!
502
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:27,703
I've never been
more proud, son.
503
00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:30,401
It's running during
every local news broadcast.
504
00:16:30,445 --> 00:16:33,361
What happened to"When they go low, we go high"?
505
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,493
That attitude
is for losers.
506
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,147
Michelle Obama said it.
507
00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:39,236
And how many elections
has shewon?
508
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,369
What about the issuesyou said you cared about?
509
00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:43,632
I haven't forgotten dignity
and all that crap.
510
00:16:43,675 --> 00:16:45,068
It's just
first things first.
511
00:16:45,112 --> 00:16:46,330
Ugh.
512
00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:48,028
I can call him
a sellout, right?
513
00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:50,160
Guys, I know
it's not a good look,
514
00:16:50,204 --> 00:16:51,292
but you've got to
trust me.
515
00:16:51,335 --> 00:16:53,555
This money is just
a means to an end,
516
00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:55,122
and it'll all be worth it
517
00:16:55,165 --> 00:16:57,515
when I beat Stevens
and save a grateful nation.
518
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,430
Next up,
is your home toxic?
519
00:16:59,474 --> 00:17:02,738
Unh-unh!Put that local news back on.
520
00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:05,001
I want to knowwhat the silent killer is
521
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,481
lurking under my sink.
522
00:17:06,524 --> 00:17:07,786
♪
523
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:09,223
Odin: Drizzy Dre.
524
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:13,227
Looking like $9,457.78in that suit we bought you.
525
00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:15,055
That's very specific.
526
00:17:15,098 --> 00:17:16,230
I got a speechfor you to read, my man.
527
00:17:16,273 --> 00:17:17,840
I've already got
a speech.
528
00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:20,016
Does it begin"My fellow Americans"?Yeah.
529
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,365
Well, then it's basicallythe same speech.
530
00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:23,193
Trust me, it's the leastyou could do for us, Dre,
531
00:17:23,237 --> 00:17:25,021
after we paid for your ads,this rally.
532
00:17:25,065 --> 00:17:26,544
Come on, baby,we're looking out for you.
533
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,851
Now, look, the new speechwill be up on the teleprompter.
534
00:17:28,894 --> 00:17:31,114
You can read, right?
Of course I can.
535
00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:33,073
Look at you,just breaking down stereotypes.
536
00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:34,335
I told you
he could read.
537
00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:35,901
C'mon, Dre, let's getout there and kill 'em.
538
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:37,512
Announcer:
Your next congressperson,
539
00:17:37,555 --> 00:17:40,036
Andre Johnson!
540
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,256
♪ Hold on♪
541
00:17:42,299 --> 00:17:44,084
♪ I'm comin'♪[ Cheers and applause ]
542
00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:45,128
♪ I'm on my way♪
543
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,043
My fellow Americans,
544
00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,698
I stand before you today
to promise
545
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:51,308
that when I'm elected,
546
00:17:51,352 --> 00:17:53,354
I will sponsor legislation
547
00:17:53,397 --> 00:17:56,183
to help the working people
of this country,
548
00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:59,229
everyday people like you.
549
00:17:59,273 --> 00:18:04,191
Thus I promise to vote
to slash taxes on business,
550
00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:07,063
provide subsidies
to clean tobacco...
551
00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:08,412
[ Crowd murmuring ]
552
00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:11,285
Teleprompter man, can you
scroll down a little?
553
00:18:11,328 --> 00:18:13,678
I, Andre Johnson,
554
00:18:13,722 --> 00:18:17,160
will end the tyranny
of national parks,
555
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,467
militarize
the fire department?
556
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:21,077
What is this?
557
00:18:21,121 --> 00:18:24,341
[ Crowd murmuring ]
558
00:18:24,385 --> 00:18:25,429
[ Sighs ]
559
00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,605
I can't do this.
560
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:31,392
Look, when you have to take
millions from private interests
561
00:18:31,435 --> 00:18:33,089
just to run,
562
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:35,831
there's no way principles
can come first.
563
00:18:35,874 --> 00:18:37,746
Even an honest man
doesn't stand a chance.Damn. His integrity's back.
564
00:18:37,789 --> 00:18:39,139
Let's shut it down, guys.
565
00:18:39,182 --> 00:18:40,357
The system is set up
so that...
566
00:18:40,401 --> 00:18:41,619
Could have had it all,Dre.
567
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:42,751
Do you know
how hard it was
568
00:18:42,794 --> 00:18:44,492
for me to find a jacketin a 48 Short?
569
00:18:44,535 --> 00:18:46,189
That was made
by children,
570
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:48,496
working all night --maskless.
571
00:18:48,539 --> 00:18:49,714
And it's not about
572
00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:52,064
whether you're a Democrat
or a Republican.
573
00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:54,502
Money corrupts the best of us.
574
00:18:54,545 --> 00:18:55,938
I know.
575
00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:58,288
I'm the best,
and it corrupted me.
576
00:18:58,332 --> 00:18:59,550
It did!
577
00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:00,769
Huh?
578
00:19:00,812 --> 00:19:02,945
People, we need to reduce
579
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:05,034
corporate influence
on politics,
580
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,776
stop unlimited money
in campaigns,
581
00:19:07,819 --> 00:19:11,083
and keep track of where
funds are coming from.
582
00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:13,347
You can take my stage.
583
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:14,957
[ Crowd gasping ]Mm.
584
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,308
You can take the clothes
off my back.
585
00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:20,658
But you will never
take my voice.
586
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,617
[ Feedback ]
587
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:23,748
Hmm.
588
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,576
[ All gasp ]
589
00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:27,274
-Mm.
-Aah!
590
00:19:27,317 --> 00:19:28,971
[ Giggles ]
591
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,106
I'm sorry you all
had to see me in my shame.
592
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:37,109
And people wonder whyI never come home anymore.
593
00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,242
Guess I blew my chances
at Congress,
594
00:19:39,286 --> 00:19:41,679
but at least I stood up
for what I believe in.
595
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,333
Oh, babe.
596
00:19:43,377 --> 00:19:44,900
You didn't do that
at all.
597
00:19:44,943 --> 00:19:46,858
[ Whispering ]
It's Stacey Abrams.
598
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:48,295
Just checking in
to see how it went.
599
00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:49,948
Great, great.
600
00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:52,255
I mean, I stood up
for what I believed in,
601
00:19:52,299 --> 00:19:54,518
and then everyone saw
my nuggets,
602
00:19:54,562 --> 00:19:56,085
but otherwise great.
603
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,000
What?
[ Sighs ]
604
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,610
An average guy like me
605
00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,438
doesn't stand a shot
against big money.
606
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,787
It's true.
607
00:20:02,831 --> 00:20:04,136
The campaign
with the most money
608
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,442
wins most of the time.
609
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:07,227
But thereare passionate people
610
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:09,490
who have dedicated their lives
to making change.
611
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:11,013
They're the oneswho are gonna break through
612
00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:12,144
and beat the system.
613
00:20:12,188 --> 00:20:14,103
It's David versus Goliath.
614
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:17,019
But never forget,in that story, David wins.
615
00:20:17,062 --> 00:20:19,630
Dre:
Stacey Abrams was right.
616
00:20:19,674 --> 00:20:21,284
The odds may seem long,
617
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:24,200
but with regular folks
like teachers and activists
618
00:20:24,244 --> 00:20:27,029
and mechanics and librarians
getting into politics
619
00:20:27,072 --> 00:20:29,205
and fighting
for the common person,
620
00:20:29,249 --> 00:20:31,512
we can look forward
to a future
621
00:20:31,555 --> 00:20:34,297
where our government
actually looks like America.
622
00:20:34,341 --> 00:20:36,952
Should I keep up the fight
like Stacey Abrams?
623
00:20:36,995 --> 00:20:38,823
Uh, it hasn't been great.
624
00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:40,347
You're wearing
a trash bag.
625
00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:41,652
Half a trash bag.
626
00:20:41,696 --> 00:20:44,525
I...can't turn around.
627
00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:45,482
My God, please don't
turn around.
628
00:20:48,746 --> 00:20:50,748
And it appears
business owner Leslie Stevens
629
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,141
loses by one point
630
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,491
to unhinged billionaire
Thad Hearst-Kennedy,
631
00:20:54,535 --> 00:20:56,841
who outspent Stevens
10 to 1.
632
00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:58,278
We did it.
633
00:20:58,321 --> 00:21:01,977
Together, we will rise up
and reinforce the system.
634
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:04,849
It's disgraceful
that someone with more money
635
00:21:04,893 --> 00:21:08,505
can just waltz in on a lark
and buy his way into power.
636
00:21:08,549 --> 00:21:11,595
What kind of country
is this anymore?
637
00:21:11,639 --> 00:21:13,467
If we hadn't just renouncedour citizenship
638
00:21:13,510 --> 00:21:16,687
for tax purposes,I would be horrified.
639
00:21:16,731 --> 00:21:17,949
Hmm!