1 00:00:00,477 --> 00:00:04,016 Lately, there have been some changes around the Johnson household. 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:05,039 Babe. 3 00:00:05,159 --> 00:00:06,113 Ah, hey, baby. 4 00:00:06,181 --> 00:00:07,548 Yeah, hey. 5 00:00:07,615 --> 00:00:09,116 I've been thinking, you know, with you being pregnant, 6 00:00:09,184 --> 00:00:11,819 maybe you should take it easy, focus on you and my baby. 7 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,353 Why you keep saying "my," Dre? 8 00:00:13,421 --> 00:00:15,322 You know we haven't gotten the swab back yet. 9 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,191 You know I do not like it when you make that joke 10 00:00:17,258 --> 00:00:19,793 because the subtext is you're cheating on me. 11 00:00:19,861 --> 00:00:21,228 - Subtext? - I... 12 00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:23,831 I was going to say maybe you should take some time off 13 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,432 because you worked so hard 14 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,634 during all of your other pregnancies. 15 00:00:27,702 --> 00:00:29,837 Well, that's really sweet, but can we afford it? 16 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,138 We'll figure it out. 17 00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:33,207 I'm pretty sure the layoffs at work are behind us. 18 00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:33,875 Oh. 19 00:00:34,261 --> 00:00:36,654 Well, this brings me great sadness to do this, 20 00:00:36,722 --> 00:00:40,325 especially since you grabbed me this delicious Egg McMuffin 21 00:00:40,392 --> 00:00:43,561 on your drive into work, but I really have no choice. 22 00:00:43,629 --> 00:00:46,531 Lucy... we're laying you off. 23 00:00:46,598 --> 00:00:48,433 What? S-Seriously? 24 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,435 Oh, my... oh, my God. 25 00:00:50,502 --> 00:00:52,437 Okay, that was a big lie. 26 00:00:52,504 --> 00:00:53,504 Whew! 27 00:00:54,573 --> 00:00:56,074 God, you got me going. 28 00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:57,508 Good one. 29 00:00:57,576 --> 00:00:59,444 It, uh, it didn't bring me great sadness, 30 00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:00,494 but you are still laid off. 31 00:01:00,614 --> 00:01:01,547 That part was true. 32 00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,216 What the hell is going on? 33 00:01:03,283 --> 00:01:05,117 - I thought the layoffs were over. - Oh, no, no, no. 34 00:01:05,185 --> 00:01:07,019 The tighter the ship, the bigger the profits. 35 00:01:07,087 --> 00:01:10,056 Besides, Daphne really hates Lucy. 36 00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:12,157 What?! We're getting our nails done together at lunch. 37 00:01:12,277 --> 00:01:13,610 Well, that's gonna be awkward. 38 00:01:13,678 --> 00:01:17,147 Now, turning to Charlie. 39 00:01:17,215 --> 00:01:18,348 So, that's what's up? 40 00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:20,150 You brought me back here so you can fire me? 41 00:01:20,218 --> 00:01:22,486 You think by telling me in front of all these people, 42 00:01:22,554 --> 00:01:23,854 you think I ain't gonna make a scene? 43 00:01:23,922 --> 00:01:26,723 All I got left is my God and my goatee! 44 00:01:26,791 --> 00:01:28,959 Aaah! 45 00:01:29,027 --> 00:01:30,327 Hey, Charlie! 46 00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:33,063 No. 47 00:01:33,131 --> 00:01:34,465 Charlie. 48 00:01:35,546 --> 00:01:37,314 Calm down, Charlie! 49 00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:38,348 Aah! 50 00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:39,683 Oh, no, no, no. 51 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:41,218 Ugh. 52 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:42,319 Aaah! 53 00:01:42,386 --> 00:01:45,388 Charlie, you are not fired, okay?! 54 00:01:45,456 --> 00:01:48,692 I was actually gonna say good job on the Forever 21 campaign. 55 00:01:48,759 --> 00:01:51,473 Actually, that was me. 56 00:01:51,593 --> 00:01:52,526 Oh, that was a good job. 57 00:01:52,594 --> 00:01:53,694 I've seen it everywhere. 58 00:01:53,761 --> 00:01:55,896 On buses, schools. It's all over the place. 59 00:01:55,964 --> 00:01:57,397 Really nice work there, Lucy. 60 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:58,193 Okay. 61 00:01:58,313 --> 00:02:00,147 Well, now that that is taken care of, 62 00:02:00,215 --> 00:02:02,917 it is time for birthday announcements. 63 00:02:02,984 --> 00:02:06,086 Oh, well, looks like we're not just celebrating 64 00:02:06,154 --> 00:02:07,421 Lucy's last day. 65 00:02:07,489 --> 00:02:10,624 Happy bir... Come on. 66 00:02:10,692 --> 00:02:12,126 Come on, guys, help me out. 67 00:02:12,193 --> 00:02:13,978 Happy... scootchies 68 00:02:14,098 --> 00:02:15,596 Happy birthday... 69 00:02:15,664 --> 00:02:18,098 Jo-Josh, I was just fired, okay? 70 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,434 Oh. Um... 71 00:02:20,502 --> 00:02:22,937 I-I'm sorry. I'll ju... I'll just... 72 00:02:23,004 --> 00:02:25,940 No, you don't have to... 73 00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,142 So slow. Oh, for God... 74 00:02:28,209 --> 00:02:29,009 No, no, make a wish! 75 00:02:29,077 --> 00:02:30,377 Make a wish! 76 00:02:30,445 --> 00:02:32,179 And sometimes, change isn't great... 77 00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:33,180 That's yummy. 78 00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:34,381 Especially if you're Lucy. 79 00:02:34,449 --> 00:02:35,616 It makes you wonder who's next. 80 00:02:35,684 --> 00:02:36,582 Do you want a corner? 81 00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:37,605 No, no, no, I want the corner. 82 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:38,764 Give her something in the middle. 83 00:02:39,355 --> 00:02:41,673 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 84 00:02:44,502 --> 00:02:46,636 Hey, baby, how was your day? 85 00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,638 Uh, not good. I actually had to s... 86 00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:49,806 Good. 87 00:02:49,874 --> 00:02:51,708 Listen, you're never going to believe 88 00:02:51,776 --> 00:02:53,777 what happened to me at my doctor's appointment. 89 00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:58,148 Dr. Gonzales told me that I have a geriatric womb. 90 00:02:58,216 --> 00:02:59,750 Uh, to your face? 91 00:02:59,817 --> 00:03:01,651 Told me that I'm of advanced maternal age. 92 00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:03,153 - To your face?! - Yes. 93 00:03:03,221 --> 00:03:04,454 Oh, baby, come here. 94 00:03:04,522 --> 00:03:05,489 It was awful. 95 00:03:05,556 --> 00:03:06,590 Relax, baby. 96 00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:07,958 Just means your wife's uterus is old. 97 00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:08,959 What? 98 00:03:09,026 --> 00:03:09,960 Thank you, Ruby. 99 00:03:10,027 --> 00:03:11,762 Like "Antique Road Show" old. 100 00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,497 Like probably watches "Murder, She Wrote" 101 00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:14,931 and has a landline old! 102 00:03:14,999 --> 00:03:16,933 Mama! We get it. 103 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:18,502 That's crazy. 104 00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:20,003 Look at her. 105 00:03:20,071 --> 00:03:22,572 She is a beautiful, vibrant, curvy, vivacious young woman. 106 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,408 Hey, hey, pump your brakes, Pops. 107 00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:27,277 Not only is this my wife... 108 00:03:27,345 --> 00:03:28,812 but she is asleep. 109 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,813 Bow! 110 00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,148 Huh? Oh, my God. 111 00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:32,949 I'm so exhausted. 112 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,152 Dre, m-maybe I should take that time off. 113 00:03:35,219 --> 00:03:37,087 Really? 114 00:03:37,155 --> 00:03:38,555 Well 115 00:03:38,623 --> 00:03:40,190 I think you taking some time off is a good idea, sweetheart. 116 00:03:40,258 --> 00:03:42,092 And stand-up move on your part, son, 117 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,860 letting your wife kick her feet up 118 00:03:43,928 --> 00:03:45,595 while you hold your family down like a man. 119 00:03:45,663 --> 00:03:47,197 Mm-hmm. I agree. 120 00:03:47,265 --> 00:03:49,533 Her body obviously needs rest. 121 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,534 Well... Look at her. 122 00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:52,002 She's falling apart. 123 00:03:52,069 --> 00:03:53,537 - Okay. - Listen here, son. 124 00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:56,106 There's a good chance I may have to carry this baby, 125 00:03:56,174 --> 00:03:57,474 and I'm willing to do it. 126 00:03:57,542 --> 00:04:00,811 The doctors say I have the uterus of a 16-year-old Latina. 127 00:04:00,878 --> 00:04:02,179 Uh... 128 00:04:02,246 --> 00:04:03,847 Mmm, smells good, Grandma. 129 00:04:03,915 --> 00:04:05,816 Mmm, what's on the menu? 130 00:04:05,883 --> 00:04:09,686 Well, it's Ruby Tuesday, so you know what that means. 131 00:04:09,754 --> 00:04:11,721 Another gravy-heavy experience. 132 00:04:11,789 --> 00:04:13,523 Dad, you need to make the down payment 133 00:04:13,591 --> 00:04:15,325 for my summer trip abroad. 134 00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:17,561 And we need new bow and arrows for "Hunger Games" camp. 135 00:04:17,628 --> 00:04:19,563 We're sending them to "Hunger Games" camp? 136 00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:21,698 Isn't that ex... violent? 137 00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:23,533 I don't know, and I don't care. 138 00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:26,369 All I know is they take them away for two weeks 139 00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:27,571 and I don't see them. 140 00:04:29,073 --> 00:04:31,074 That's a lucky baby in that dusty womb of yours. 141 00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:33,743 Oh, and don't forget my deposit for summer school. 142 00:04:33,811 --> 00:04:35,412 Didn't you get straight A's? 143 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,815 Yeah, but this is Advanced Summer Wizardry. 144 00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:42,185 My sorcery coach says I might actually be a real wizard. 145 00:04:42,253 --> 00:04:43,854 Really? 146 00:04:43,921 --> 00:04:45,689 So, while everyone was excited about their time off from work 147 00:04:45,756 --> 00:04:48,492 and expensive summer plans, 148 00:04:48,559 --> 00:04:50,594 I decided to drown my worries 149 00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:53,663 in some biscuits and gravy and classic TV. 150 00:04:53,731 --> 00:04:56,900 Get cozy for an all-night marathon 151 00:04:56,968 --> 00:04:59,102 of your favorite '70s Chicago sitcom. 152 00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,237 That's right. 153 00:05:00,304 --> 00:05:03,507 Every episode back to back. 154 00:05:05,409 --> 00:05:06,943 There's been an alarming rise 155 00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:08,178 in the unemployment rate 156 00:05:08,246 --> 00:05:10,013 in the black community in Chicago, 157 00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:11,915 hitting highs of 19%. 158 00:05:11,983 --> 00:05:14,684 That ain't news. 159 00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:19,623 - Hey, Thelma. - Keith. 160 00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,124 Baby, I'm so glad you're home. 161 00:05:21,192 --> 00:05:22,359 I, uh... 162 00:05:22,426 --> 00:05:24,127 I got something to show you. 163 00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:25,362 Oh. 164 00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:27,531 What's this, baby? 165 00:05:27,598 --> 00:05:29,633 It's a pregnancy test. 166 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,034 Man. 167 00:05:31,102 --> 00:05:33,637 Technology has come a long way. 168 00:05:34,939 --> 00:05:36,439 Keith... 169 00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:38,441 I'm pregnant. 170 00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:42,879 Are you sure? 171 00:05:42,947 --> 00:05:44,648 Of course I'm sure. 172 00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:48,652 This thing is 26% accurate 65% of the time. 173 00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:52,656 Keith, how did we let this happen? 174 00:05:52,723 --> 00:05:56,126 Broke, living in the projects at my parents' house. 175 00:05:59,864 --> 00:06:01,731 I'm just gonna be another statistic. 176 00:06:01,799 --> 00:06:03,800 Hey, hey, hey, baby, I-I know you're scared. 177 00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:05,235 Hell, I'm scared, too, 178 00:06:05,303 --> 00:06:08,572 and, no, you ain't gonna be no nother statistic. 179 00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:11,508 Baby, I got my big football tryouts coming up, 180 00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:14,811 and, hey, when I do go pro, we're gonna get married. 181 00:06:14,879 --> 00:06:17,080 And... And I'm gonna have enough money to take care of everybody 182 00:06:17,148 --> 00:06:18,515 and buy a fancy car! 183 00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,684 Baby, I'm gonna be an NFL football player, 184 00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,619 and they don't ever go broke! 185 00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:23,987 Huh?! 186 00:06:24,055 --> 00:06:25,055 Oh, baby. 187 00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:27,357 Oh, you make me feel so much better. 188 00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:28,358 - Oh. - Oh. 189 00:06:28,426 --> 00:06:29,659 - And who knows? - Hmm? 190 00:06:29,727 --> 00:06:31,261 Maybe Daddy won't be mad. 191 00:06:32,106 --> 00:06:33,587 That don't sound right. 192 00:06:34,956 --> 00:06:36,089 J.J.? 193 00:06:38,192 --> 00:06:39,059 Uh, 'tis I. 194 00:06:40,294 --> 00:06:42,295 Didn't we tell you about eavesdropping? 195 00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:44,264 You told me, but I think it's safe to say 196 00:06:44,332 --> 00:06:46,099 I didn't give a damn. 197 00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,550 Until we decide how we're gonna tell Daddy the news, 198 00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,085 you keep your big ol' mouth shut. 199 00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:52,754 As long as you let me be there when you tell him. 200 00:06:52,822 --> 00:06:55,490 I ain't never painted a murder scene before. 201 00:06:57,493 --> 00:07:01,396 Damn! You ain't gonna believe what happened to me today. 202 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:02,998 You got your paycheck cut in half? 203 00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:04,433 They doubled your workload? 204 00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,168 The cops hassled you on the way home? 205 00:07:06,235 --> 00:07:08,103 No, I found a really good parking spot 206 00:07:08,171 --> 00:07:09,571 in front of the building. 207 00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:13,909 Man, you people have an incredibly fatalistic outlook on life. 208 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,845 Hey, Mrs. Evans. Hey, Michael. 209 00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:18,947 Hey, what's going on? 210 00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:22,050 I just left the principal's office. 211 00:07:22,118 --> 00:07:24,719 Apparently, your son staged a walk-out 212 00:07:24,839 --> 00:07:25,939 for the school lunch monitors. 213 00:07:26,006 --> 00:07:27,507 They got us down there busing tables 214 00:07:27,575 --> 00:07:28,842 and washing trays for cheap. 215 00:07:28,909 --> 00:07:30,477 Then tell them what happened. 216 00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:32,912 Julio and his cousin Julio 217 00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:35,915 said that they'd do our job for half the pay. 218 00:07:35,983 --> 00:07:37,350 What?! 219 00:07:37,418 --> 00:07:39,986 If he thinks that Mexicans are gonna come do the dirty work 220 00:07:40,054 --> 00:07:41,855 that black folks do for less money, 221 00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:43,213 he's got another thing coming. 222 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,377 Mm-hmm. 223 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:45,230 Hey, hey. 224 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,431 You keep fighting for the people like you are, man, 225 00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,466 you might just become our first black president. 226 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,435 Yeah, but not in these United States of America. 227 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:51,603 Oh, unh-unh. 228 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:52,704 No, 'cause that ain't never gonna happen. 229 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,039 Not ever, ever. 230 00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,740 Ever, ever, ever, ever! 231 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,076 Now he's got no job. 232 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,444 I had to leave mine early 233 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,746 and walk 30 blocks to get him from school. 234 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,281 Got attacked by a dog. 235 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:07,219 Would've lost my big toe had the sugar not already taken it. 236 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,453 Mm! 237 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,554 Oh, well. 238 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,623 Tomorrow's gonna be a better day. 239 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:15,560 Tomorrow might be a better day, but not nine months from now. 240 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,262 Hey. Be cool, fool. 241 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,463 I am cool. 242 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,499 She's the one in heat. 243 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,468 Oh, thank goodness for you, baby girl. 244 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,836 Once you finish college, 245 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,606 you're gonna make everything right for this family. 246 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,808 I disagree. 247 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,277 Sorry. 248 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,679 I don't know why I said that. 249 00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,482 Even though she's my daughter, 250 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,652 I feel much more of a kinship with Keith. 251 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,088 Oh. Thank you, Mrs. Evans. 252 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,257 No, baby, call me Mama. 253 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,524 Well, Mama, I... 254 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,026 - Unh-unh. - Oh. 255 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,861 You call me Mrs. Evans. 256 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,230 Uh-oh. 257 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:55,600 Almost forgot my evening turtleneck in the dryer. 258 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:59,804 I got me a hot blind date with a fine young tender. 259 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,975 I think it's safe to assume that all your dates are blind, J.J. 260 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,610 - Hey. - Hey. 261 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,612 Hey, Wilona. Hey, Penny. 262 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,814 Hey, J.J. Sorry we're late. 263 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:10,929 Everybody's late around here. 264 00:09:12,748 --> 00:09:14,549 How can you be late? You weren't invited. 265 00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:16,084 Nice to see you, too, friend. 266 00:09:16,152 --> 00:09:18,920 Julio told me that Julio and Julio stole your job. 267 00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:20,689 Penny, be nice. 268 00:09:20,756 --> 00:09:21,923 That was me being nice. 269 00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:25,293 Are we here in time for gravy? 270 00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,929 Can't, Penny. Fresh out of gravy. 271 00:09:27,997 --> 00:09:29,264 Just add more water, Mama. 272 00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:30,699 Can't. 273 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,235 - Fresh out of water. - What? 274 00:09:33,302 --> 00:09:35,136 I thought Bookman fixed it. 275 00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:39,875 Almost fixed. 276 00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:43,912 12 to 14 hours, and we'll be halfway there. 277 00:09:48,623 --> 00:09:50,524 Boy, what the hell happened to your shirt? 278 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,427 Apparently, Bookman fixed the dryer. 279 00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:56,330 So, you want wet water and a less dry dryer? 280 00:09:56,397 --> 00:09:58,365 You people are so demanding. 281 00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:01,568 Pregnancy test? 282 00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:05,405 You have to take a test to get pregnant? 283 00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:09,543 No, it's a test to see if you are pregnant. 284 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,946 Really? This tiny little thing? 285 00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:15,382 Well, whose is it? 286 00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,084 Well, don't look at me. 287 00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:18,685 Don't look at me. 288 00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:19,653 Don't look at me. 289 00:10:19,721 --> 00:10:21,521 Ain't nobody looking at you, woman! 290 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:33,325 Mama... Daddy... 291 00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:34,526 I'm pregnant. 292 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,962 Oh, Thelma! 293 00:10:37,029 --> 00:10:39,297 I'm gonna need more red paint. 294 00:10:39,365 --> 00:10:42,033 White Jesus, white Jesus! 295 00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:44,235 Why have thou forsaken me? 296 00:10:44,303 --> 00:10:45,804 How did this happen? 297 00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:48,640 More importantly, where did this happen? 298 00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:51,242 Because there is clearly only one bed in here 299 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,397 that we all sleep in. 300 00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:55,752 Okay, everything is going to be fine. 301 00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,621 Boy, do you have the slightest idea 302 00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,022 what it means to have a child? 303 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,458 Did you even consider the cost? 304 00:11:01,526 --> 00:11:05,195 The diapers, the formula, the medical bi... shots. 305 00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:06,530 We'll skip the shots. 306 00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:08,198 We skipped the shots with J.J.! 307 00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,634 We'll need the shots. We need the shots. 308 00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:13,837 We already got 82 people living in this house. 309 00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:16,840 We don't need an 83rd, no matter how small. 310 00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:19,798 And with our luck, it'll have Thelma's appetite... 311 00:11:19,918 --> 00:11:21,051 and face. 312 00:11:21,119 --> 00:11:23,687 Hey, J.J, can I rap to you outside for a second? 313 00:11:23,755 --> 00:11:25,122 - Oh, sure. - Oh, all right. 314 00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:26,724 Hey, man, I was thinking. 315 00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:29,059 Once Thelma gives birth to this baby... 316 00:11:31,096 --> 00:11:33,664 All right, look, everybody, I will be able 317 00:11:33,732 --> 00:11:36,901 to take care of Thelma and the baby forever. 318 00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:41,238 The NFL takes care of its players long after they retire. 319 00:11:44,943 --> 00:11:46,410 Hey, Florida. 320 00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:48,145 James, it's midnight. 321 00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:50,247 You're home from work early. 322 00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,750 Aw, they wouldn't let me work a quadruple shift. 323 00:11:54,019 --> 00:11:55,719 Say, what's with all the empty photo albums? 324 00:11:55,787 --> 00:11:57,655 Oh, I was just sitting here imagining 325 00:11:57,722 --> 00:11:59,924 what our old wedding photos would've looked like 326 00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:01,892 if we could've afforded a camera. 327 00:12:02,961 --> 00:12:04,528 Look at you, James. 328 00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:05,591 - Look here. - Look at me. 329 00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:07,427 You remember how nervous you were 330 00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:09,383 when we found out we were expecting a child? 331 00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:10,603 Ooh! 332 00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,771 Just like Keith, 333 00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:14,407 you had all the hopes and dreams in the world. 334 00:12:14,474 --> 00:12:16,142 I was never like Keith. 335 00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:18,844 No, I had hopes and dreams and four jobs. 336 00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:22,281 Hopes and dreams don't feed a family. 337 00:12:22,349 --> 00:12:25,584 Nobody ever asked for a second helping of hopes and dreams. 338 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,521 James, where you going? 339 00:12:28,588 --> 00:12:31,357 Well, where do you think I'm going, Florida? 340 00:12:31,425 --> 00:12:33,626 I'm going to work. 341 00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:37,060 Hello? 342 00:12:37,128 --> 00:12:39,529 J.J., some lady for you. 343 00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:48,571 Uh, chello? 344 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:49,943 Oh, hey, baby. 345 00:12:50,063 --> 00:12:51,330 Keith, how did it go? How were tryouts? 346 00:12:51,398 --> 00:12:52,598 Should've seen me, Thelma. 347 00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:53,933 I took the snap, 348 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,035 and I ran a sweep to the left and scampered a few yards, 349 00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:58,204 I came up short, then boom, I turned it to the right, 350 00:12:58,271 --> 00:12:59,538 I took it to the house! 351 00:13:02,175 --> 00:13:05,111 It went really well, guys. 352 00:13:05,178 --> 00:13:07,113 See, James? I told you Keith was gonna be able 353 00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:08,681 to take care of our little girl. 354 00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:10,116 Yeah, well, we'll see about that. 355 00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:13,385 I knew everything was gonna be all right. 356 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,555 Keith is gonna be the next O.J. Simpson. 357 00:13:16,623 --> 00:13:17,690 God willing. 358 00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,692 Oh, yeah. God willing. 359 00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:22,661 I'll finish dinner. 360 00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:25,798 Afterwards, we're gonna try this thing I heard about 361 00:13:25,866 --> 00:13:27,233 called dessert. 362 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,667 What's that? 363 00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:33,139 Well, it's a little meal white folks have after dinner. 364 00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:34,740 Like breakfast? 365 00:13:34,808 --> 00:13:37,042 Yeah, but But sweet. 366 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,744 Sweet breakfast? 367 00:13:38,812 --> 00:13:40,813 Yeah, but at night. 368 00:13:40,881 --> 00:13:42,047 - Ah. - Mm-hmm. 369 00:13:42,115 --> 00:13:44,183 - Sweet night breakfast. - Mm-hmm. 370 00:13:44,251 --> 00:13:46,185 Like sugar eggs. 371 00:13:46,253 --> 00:13:49,155 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 372 00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:01,167 That don't look good. 373 00:14:07,098 --> 00:14:08,765 - Surprise! - Surprise! 374 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,634 It's the man of the hour! 375 00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,402 What are we celebrating? 376 00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,437 You, babe, and your success. 377 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:17,374 Now, we know this is mystery meat, baby, 378 00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:19,976 but when you make it to the pros, 379 00:14:20,044 --> 00:14:23,246 you're gonna be eating the finer things of life, 380 00:14:23,314 --> 00:14:25,715 like imitation crab. 381 00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:28,051 Or fresh fruit. 382 00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:30,820 One of these days, I'm gonna have me a strawberry. 383 00:14:30,888 --> 00:14:33,924 Hey, you guys, I've got some good news myself. 384 00:14:33,991 --> 00:14:36,293 I am not gonna finish college. 385 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,561 What, Thelma? 386 00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:38,628 No, come on. 387 00:14:38,696 --> 00:14:40,130 I don't even think I need a degree, 388 00:14:40,197 --> 00:14:42,599 with you getting drafted by the Houston Oilers. 389 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,660 I mean, that franchise is gonna be around forever. 390 00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:48,216 Hey, Dad, where you been? 391 00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:49,417 Work. 392 00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:51,720 Well, maybe when Keith makes it to the NFL, 393 00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:53,755 you can get rid of one of those jobs, James. 394 00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,724 Me with only three jobs? 395 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,560 I wouldn't even know what to do with all that extra time. 396 00:14:59,895 --> 00:15:01,763 Well... Well, how about you take a day off? 397 00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,772 You know, I never imagined myself with one of those. 398 00:15:03,892 --> 00:15:05,526 That seems like the kind of thing 399 00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:07,495 that only white folks get, like socks. 400 00:15:07,562 --> 00:15:09,029 With all that free time, 401 00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:11,165 you could possibly even take up a hobby. 402 00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:12,233 Mm-hmm. 403 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,601 Always did want to try a REM sleep. 404 00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:15,503 Now that you've made it big, 405 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:16,773 can you get me a hat that covers my ears, 406 00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,928 'cause, you know, this city's really windy. 407 00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:21,564 And can I get some art supplies? 408 00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:22,832 Canvasses, paintbrushes. 409 00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:25,334 Will you buy me glasses with a prescription? 410 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:28,003 I've always wanted to see what you guys look like. 411 00:15:28,071 --> 00:15:29,405 All right, enough! 412 00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:30,940 Uh, Penny, no. 413 00:15:31,007 --> 00:15:33,776 You're just gonna have to recognize us by our voices. 414 00:15:33,844 --> 00:15:35,611 Look, I'm not going to the NFL. 415 00:15:35,679 --> 00:15:36,779 Aw. 416 00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:38,547 I hurt my knee at football tryouts. 417 00:15:38,615 --> 00:15:40,416 Th-They tell me I'll never play again. 418 00:15:40,483 --> 00:15:41,684 M-My football career is over. 419 00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:43,419 I told you this guy was a bum! 420 00:15:43,486 --> 00:15:44,620 Daddy. 421 00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,188 No, no, no, Thelma, your daddy's right. 422 00:15:46,256 --> 00:15:48,123 Look, I-I-I-I don't deserve this. 423 00:15:48,191 --> 00:15:50,292 W-What kind of meat is that, anyway? 424 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,360 It doesn't matter. 425 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,597 You don't deserve it... none of it! 426 00:15:54,664 --> 00:15:55,965 Oh, James. 427 00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:58,234 Damn! Damn! Damn! 428 00:16:03,082 --> 00:16:04,349 Why you got to be so hard on him? 429 00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:05,684 Because he's a bum. 430 00:16:05,752 --> 00:16:09,821 I thought I was clear when I said, "Keith, you're a bum!" 431 00:16:09,889 --> 00:16:11,290 You know what? 432 00:16:11,357 --> 00:16:15,027 You remember this handsome young man on his wedding day? 433 00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:19,798 You know, when his dreams didn't pan out, he made it work. 434 00:16:19,866 --> 00:16:21,300 I haven't had a dream in 30 years. 435 00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:22,834 How could I? I haven't slept! 436 00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:27,372 I don't want our kids to struggle like we did, Florida. 437 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,074 Damn it. 438 00:16:29,142 --> 00:16:32,077 I want our kids to have better than we did. 439 00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:34,627 I want them to have an album filled with actual pictures. 440 00:16:34,747 --> 00:16:36,514 I want that, too. 441 00:16:36,582 --> 00:16:37,949 But until then, 442 00:16:38,017 --> 00:16:40,876 we got to have faith that Keith will work it out like you did. 443 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,598 What those kids need right now is our support. 444 00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:49,570 Y'all, I'm sorry I'm such a failure. 445 00:16:49,638 --> 00:16:52,573 I only had one dream my whole life, and now it's over. 446 00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:54,975 A-And because of me, this family's gonna remain 447 00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,912 poor, black, and strawberry-less. 448 00:16:59,247 --> 00:17:00,514 Listen, son, I understand what you're going through. 449 00:17:00,582 --> 00:17:02,116 It's a struggle to raise a family. 450 00:17:02,183 --> 00:17:06,320 But the good news is, you don't have to do it alone. 451 00:17:06,388 --> 00:17:07,488 That's right. 452 00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:08,489 Really? 453 00:17:08,556 --> 00:17:10,057 Yeah, we're here to help you. 454 00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:12,493 Listen, man, I was gonna take one of my sweet thangs out 455 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:18,499 for a fine-dining extravaganza, but you can have those $3. 456 00:17:20,568 --> 00:17:22,636 And I can give you this month's foster-care money 457 00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:23,671 for Penny and her sister. 458 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:24,672 Uh 459 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,507 Uh, Penny doesn't have a sister. 460 00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:28,842 Do you want the money or not? 461 00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:32,264 Hey, hey, y'all, thank you, but I'll get by. 462 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,717 Look, I'm just sorry 463 00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:35,586 I couldn't help you fulfill your dream of sleeping. 464 00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:37,554 Or seeing. 465 00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:39,490 It's okay. I can still hear. 466 00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,825 Yeah, don't worry about it. 467 00:17:41,893 --> 00:17:44,395 Being poor, black, and tired is all we've ever known. 468 00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,996 Hmm. 469 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,046 Oh. Oh. 470 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:47,649 Oh, wow. 471 00:17:47,769 --> 00:17:49,303 Did you forget to pay the power bill? 472 00:17:49,371 --> 00:17:51,005 Forgetting's for rich folks. 473 00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,072 We're just broke. 474 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,208 Ah. 475 00:17:54,275 --> 00:17:56,877 Well, tomorrow's gonna be a better day. 476 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,679 - Mm. - Dy-no-mite. 477 00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:08,322 Good evening. I'm James Earl Jones. 478 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:10,524 Welcome to "Black Omnibus." 479 00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:15,162 Tonight, we discuss the height of the Latin jazz movement 480 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:18,879 with famed percussionist Willie Bobo. 481 00:18:18,999 --> 00:18:21,100 Well, well, well, well, well. 482 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,401 Look who's alive. 483 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,739 That gravy nap really set me back. 484 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,174 Nap? 485 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,409 Dre, seriously, you've been asleep for like 12 hours. 486 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,010 Oh, my... Look at you. 487 00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,331 - Oh, my God. - I was? 488 00:18:34,399 --> 00:18:35,766 Man, I must really be stressed 489 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,901 about the baby and that new round of layoffs at work. 490 00:18:37,969 --> 00:18:39,069 Another round? 491 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:41,171 Sweetie, I thought you said that was over. 492 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:44,174 Ugh, I thought they were, but it doesn't matter. 493 00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:46,510 Hey, hey, hey, it's okay... 494 00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:50,514 Because I just had a great dream. 495 00:18:50,582 --> 00:18:54,251 It made me realize that it doesn't matter 496 00:18:54,319 --> 00:18:57,388 if we have less money or more kids 497 00:18:57,455 --> 00:18:59,723 as long as we are together. 498 00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,025 Dad? 499 00:19:01,092 --> 00:19:02,092 Yep? 500 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,694 If you're really worried about money, 501 00:19:03,762 --> 00:19:05,362 I don't have to go on that trip. 502 00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:07,398 Yeah, and if I'm really a wizard, 503 00:19:07,465 --> 00:19:10,401 we'll never have to worry about money again. 504 00:19:11,469 --> 00:19:12,736 Or dragons. 505 00:19:12,804 --> 00:19:14,271 Oh. There he is. 506 00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:16,440 You're welcome to some of my allowance. 507 00:19:16,508 --> 00:19:18,742 I mean, it's not much, but that's on you. 508 00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,344 Ah, touché. 509 00:19:26,017 --> 00:19:27,251 Don't look at me. 510 00:19:27,318 --> 00:19:29,386 I'm still learning how to share. 511 00:19:29,454 --> 00:19:30,320 You know what? Me, too. 512 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:31,871 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 513 00:19:32,685 --> 00:19:34,608 Aww. Ah, babe, look at us. Look at that. 514 00:19:34,676 --> 00:19:35,409 That was the beginning. 515 00:19:35,477 --> 00:19:36,911 Aren't we cute? 516 00:19:38,346 --> 00:19:39,280 Whoa. 517 00:19:39,347 --> 00:19:40,748 What's wrong with your eyes? 518 00:19:40,816 --> 00:19:42,349 Are you a demon? 519 00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:43,818 No, no, no, no, no. It's called red eye. 520 00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,419 We didn't have anything to fix it then. 521 00:19:45,487 --> 00:19:47,121 Also, she's a demon. 522 00:19:47,189 --> 00:19:48,122 Uh. 523 00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:49,323 Aww, look at that. 524 00:19:49,391 --> 00:19:50,491 Look, you're so cute. 525 00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:52,259 Ugh. That was my awkward phase. 526 00:19:52,327 --> 00:19:54,295 Burn it. 527 00:19:54,362 --> 00:19:55,463 Hey, look at this one. 528 00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,665 It's a picture of Junior in his awkward phase. 529 00:19:57,732 --> 00:19:59,500 I was a baby. 530 00:19:59,568 --> 00:20:00,534 Hey, y'all want to see an awkward baby? 531 00:20:00,602 --> 00:20:02,436 - Yes, please. - Mm-hmm. 532 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,338 - Look at this here. This is Dre. - No way. 533 00:20:04,406 --> 00:20:05,873 - Ohhh! - Ohhh! 534 00:20:05,941 --> 00:20:07,942 Look at that head. Doctor told us he was gonna grow into it. 535 00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:09,677 We're still waiting, son. 536 00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:11,111 - Same size. - Same size. 537 00:20:11,179 --> 00:20:12,680 Looks like a watermelon. 538 00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:14,181 So big. 539 00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:16,250 So you carry my picture around, huh? 540 00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:19,320 It came with the wallet. 541 00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:21,522 Okay. 542 00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:22,656 Come on. Turn the page, boy. 543 00:20:22,724 --> 00:20:24,391 Earl. 544 00:20:24,459 --> 00:20:25,726 I don't know. 545 00:20:25,794 --> 00:20:27,661 I don't even remember, where is this? 546 00:20:27,729 --> 00:20:28,863 Where did this happen? 547 00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:29,737 Yeah, where's this at?