1 00:00:00,674 --> 00:00:03,297 Americans are consumers. 2 00:00:03,331 --> 00:00:06,137 We want the best, the baddest, and the biggest... 3 00:00:06,259 --> 00:00:08,661 Unless, of course, the baddest is the smallest. 4 00:00:08,697 --> 00:00:12,135 Then you want that, until the baddest gets bigger again. 5 00:00:12,171 --> 00:00:13,923 We're all consumers, 6 00:00:13,959 --> 00:00:15,745 but at the risk of stereotyping us... 7 00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:18,613 ♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪ Black folks really get it in. 8 00:00:18,648 --> 00:00:20,671 We just do. But think about it... 9 00:00:20,706 --> 00:00:23,167 ♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪ if you didn't get a paycheck for 400 years 10 00:00:23,202 --> 00:00:25,056 ♪ It all falls down ♪ When you did finally get one, 11 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,440 you might want to spend it. 12 00:00:26,475 --> 00:00:27,755 ♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪ of course, nowadays, 13 00:00:27,791 --> 00:00:30,859 that kind of attitude can get you in trouble. 14 00:00:30,894 --> 00:00:33,255 ♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪ that's the thing about money. 15 00:00:33,290 --> 00:00:35,110 Everybody wants to have it, 16 00:00:35,145 --> 00:00:37,438 but nobody wants to talk about it... 17 00:00:37,473 --> 00:00:39,260 ♪ I'm telling you, oh ♪ Which can lead to problems. 18 00:00:39,295 --> 00:00:41,115 ♪ It all falls down ♪ We owe what?! 19 00:00:41,151 --> 00:00:43,948 Let me see that. 20 00:00:45,536 --> 00:00:47,288 Mm, hold on. 21 00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:49,312 Wha... 22 00:00:51,305 --> 00:00:53,264 Holy Slick Rick! 23 00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:58,080 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 24 00:00:58,371 --> 00:01:01,007 How did we spend this much on our credit cards? 25 00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:02,648 It was a big month, Bow. 26 00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:05,539 We took the kids to Disneyland, we replaced the water heater, 27 00:01:05,573 --> 00:01:08,751 oh, and I got these fly new reading glasses. 28 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:11,641 Dre, come on, now we have the kids' tuition coming up. 29 00:01:11,675 --> 00:01:13,215 And isn't this the property-tax bill? 30 00:01:13,249 --> 00:01:14,178 Don't worry about that. 31 00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:17,198 I have an 819 FICO score. 32 00:01:17,231 --> 00:01:18,675 I think we're gonna be okay. 33 00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:20,249 I don't understand where all the money goes. 34 00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:21,759 Me neither. 35 00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:24,264 Look what I had overnighted from Japan. 36 00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:26,255 That is ostrich. 37 00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:28,215 First of all, those are beautiful. 38 00:01:28,249 --> 00:01:29,499 Thank you. 39 00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:31,373 Secondly, do you ever wonder if we're living too large? 40 00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:33,977 We're broke. 41 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:35,488 Wait, what? 42 00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:37,023 We just heard mom say we're living too large. 43 00:01:37,059 --> 00:01:38,726 I knew this was too much house. 44 00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:39,995 What are we gonna do? 45 00:01:40,031 --> 00:01:41,397 I'm two years away from college, 46 00:01:41,433 --> 00:01:45,070 so this is more of a "you" problem than a "we" problem. 47 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,174 Well, I've got a "disaster preparedness" folder. 48 00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:48,477 Of course you do. 49 00:01:48,512 --> 00:01:51,515 Let's see, "earthquakes," "super volcano," "peak oil." 50 00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:52,550 Ooh! 51 00:01:52,586 --> 00:01:54,620 Congratulations, Junior. 52 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,392 If you're watching this, you've survived the zombie apocalypse. 53 00:01:57,428 --> 00:02:00,698 Oh. Sorry. Wrong video. 54 00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:01,666 Dude. 55 00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:04,204 Oh, here it is. "Financial ruin." 56 00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:07,277 I'm supposed to start day-trading... I think. 57 00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:09,982 For some reason, I wrote this plan in Dothraki. 58 00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:12,085 Anha dothrak chek asshekh. 59 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,821 Can we live with you in the dorm? 60 00:02:13,856 --> 00:02:15,527 Just you two, right? 61 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,214 We earn a good living, Bow. 62 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,695 We're doing fine, okay? 63 00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:23,008 And this... this property-tax thing... 64 00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:24,052 don't even worry about that. 65 00:02:24,088 --> 00:02:26,611 My guy, James Brown, is all over it. 66 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,742 I still can't believe our accountant is named James Brown. 67 00:02:29,778 --> 00:02:32,638 He is the hardest-working man in accounting. 68 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,153 And please, 69 00:02:34,189 --> 00:02:38,833 do not project your weird relationship with money onto me. 70 00:02:38,869 --> 00:02:40,080 What weird relationship? 71 00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:41,998 Mommy, what's this? 72 00:02:42,034 --> 00:02:43,110 That's money. 73 00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,028 It's an artificial masculine construct 74 00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:47,419 that fosters hostility and war 75 00:02:47,455 --> 00:02:50,180 and builds a wall between you and love. 76 00:02:50,215 --> 00:02:53,109 Now, eat your mung beans. 77 00:02:53,145 --> 00:02:54,961 Are you sweating? 78 00:02:54,997 --> 00:02:56,073 Yes, Dre, I'm sweating 79 00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,823 because I don't like talking about money. 80 00:02:57,858 --> 00:03:00,448 We made a deal... you would be the money guy, 81 00:03:00,485 --> 00:03:01,863 and I was gonna be the kid wrangler. 82 00:03:01,899 --> 00:03:03,311 - Yeah. - Do you want to be the kid wrangler? 83 00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:05,062 'Cause there's an e-blast that needs to go out 84 00:03:05,098 --> 00:03:06,139 - about wheat allergies. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 85 00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:08,092 And we still haven't figured out summer camp. 86 00:03:08,128 --> 00:03:09,372 Unh-unh! Unh-unh! 87 00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:11,392 And the twins' class is looking for a parent 88 00:03:11,427 --> 00:03:13,075 to go on a field trip to the solid-waste plant. 89 00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:16,038 Enough! Enough, already! Okay, Bow? 90 00:03:16,075 --> 00:03:19,304 - Damn it, Bow, I'm all over this money thing, okay?- Okay. 91 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:22,504 I know every cent coming in and every cent going out. 92 00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:24,489 - Mm-hmm. - Hey, son, uh, I need to hold a "G." 93 00:03:24,525 --> 00:03:25,870 I got a tip on a pony, 94 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,620 and I'm a little light on walking-around money. 95 00:03:27,657 --> 00:03:28,698 Oh, sure. No problem, Pops. 96 00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:29,574 - Just a grand? - Just a grand. 97 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:30,685 "Just a grand." 98 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,166 - There you go, right there. - My man. 99 00:03:32,202 --> 00:03:34,456 Okay, you got it. 100 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,630 Okay, um... 101 00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:43,446 Let's just, uh, put that, uh, under, uh, "going out." 102 00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:46,106 So, you really think day-trading is going to work? 103 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,620 Because your zombie plan was a mess. 104 00:03:47,655 --> 00:03:50,180 You thought after the apocalypse you'd still have Internet. 105 00:03:50,215 --> 00:03:51,459 Or your eyeballs. 106 00:03:51,494 --> 00:03:52,704 What you kids doing? 107 00:03:52,741 --> 00:03:54,220 I'm gonna start day-trading. 108 00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:56,577 Day-trading? That ain't nothing but gambling. 109 00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:57,688 Proud of you, boy. 110 00:03:57,723 --> 00:03:58,832 Just make sure you know what you're doing. 111 00:03:58,868 --> 00:03:59,877 He doesn't. 112 00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:01,560 Just do like I do at the track... 113 00:04:01,595 --> 00:04:04,388 find an inside edge. 114 00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:07,351 My insider at the track is a hot-dog guy named Luis. 115 00:04:07,386 --> 00:04:09,910 He knows the deal on every race, every horse, every jockey, 116 00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:12,334 who's up, who's down, who's out. He's the best. 117 00:04:12,371 --> 00:04:14,926 Well, if he knows so much, why is he still the hot-dog guy? 118 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,765 You make a strong point, little girl. 119 00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:21,459 I need to call James Brown. 120 00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,175 And then my grandma looked up at me... 121 00:04:24,356 --> 00:04:25,432 And with her last breath, 122 00:04:25,468 --> 00:04:26,914 she said something I will never forget... 123 00:04:26,948 --> 00:04:28,361 Lunch! 124 00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,842 - Oh, thank God. That was close. - Yes. 125 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,054 Now, whose turn is it to pay? 126 00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:32,873 I got it. Don't worry about it. I got it. 127 00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,725 Let me see something. 128 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,586 My God, what are you, a high-end prostitute? 129 00:04:37,623 --> 00:04:39,742 Yeah. What are you doing walking around with all that cash? 130 00:04:39,777 --> 00:04:40,818 Keep the change. 131 00:04:40,855 --> 00:04:42,704 Uh, to pay for stuff. 132 00:04:42,739 --> 00:04:43,849 Like your kid's ransom? 133 00:04:43,885 --> 00:04:45,465 Seems a little irresponsible, driggity. 134 00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:47,889 But my knot makes me feel more ballin'. 135 00:04:47,925 --> 00:04:48,899 It is quite ballin', boss. 136 00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:50,752 Oh. Oh, yeah. 137 00:04:50,787 --> 00:04:52,132 Do you think Jay Z walks around 138 00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:53,849 with a big old wad of cash in his pocket? 139 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:54,657 Absolutely. 140 00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:56,005 He does not. 141 00:04:56,039 --> 00:04:58,597 You really need to be putting your money in the bank, Dre. 142 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,674 I have money in the bank. 143 00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:01,122 Oh, good. And stocks, right? 144 00:05:01,158 --> 00:05:03,108 And some stocks, uh-huh. 145 00:05:03,145 --> 00:05:04,893 - Any investment properties? - Well... 146 00:05:04,928 --> 00:05:06,543 - Why is your voice getting higher? - Is it? 147 00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:10,111 Look, it's all about optimal asset allocation... basic stuff. 148 00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:13,882 10% emerging markets, 20% hedge funds, 30% private equity. 149 00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:14,826 Mm-hmm. 150 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,441 What does your money guy tell you 151 00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:17,856 about charitable donations, Dre? 152 00:05:17,891 --> 00:05:20,314 - Let's talk charitable donations. - Mm-hmm. 153 00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:22,704 Go to taco bell 15 minutes before they close. 154 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,229 They have to clean that place out of the hard-shell items. 155 00:05:25,265 --> 00:05:26,576 That's the law. 156 00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:28,866 So, you got tacos, you got tostadas, you got taquitos, 157 00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:31,357 nachos, you've got nacho supreme. 158 00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:32,771 My favorite. Mm-hmm. 159 00:05:32,807 --> 00:05:36,038 Point is, all that... well, that's gonna offset your cars. 160 00:05:36,072 --> 00:05:37,620 Um... 161 00:05:37,655 --> 00:05:39,506 Dre, you're playing in the big leagues now. 162 00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,784 So, just to be safe, 163 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:43,108 why not sit down and chat with my money guy? 164 00:05:43,144 --> 00:05:44,084 He's amazing. 165 00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:45,464 Uh, in the meantime, 166 00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:47,586 do you mind if I have another look at that wad of cash? 167 00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:48,798 It's been a while 168 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,919 since I've actually held real currency in my hand. 169 00:05:50,955 --> 00:05:51,728 Hold one. 170 00:05:51,763 --> 00:05:53,378 Oh. 171 00:05:53,413 --> 00:05:54,723 Funny. 172 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,781 This is made from the exact same material as a cocaine straw. 173 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,737 Even though I still felt pretty good 174 00:06:02,773 --> 00:06:04,559 about where I was financially, 175 00:06:04,594 --> 00:06:07,528 I decided it couldn't hurt to see Stevens' guy. 176 00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:09,619 Well, from the looks of this, I have to say, 177 00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:11,508 you guys are doing great. 178 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,521 Oh, thank God! 179 00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,006 - I told you, I got this. - Thank God. 180 00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,063 You're two professionals, earning good salaries, 181 00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,616 homeowners with great credit. 182 00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,978 819! 183 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,068 I pay my bills! 184 00:06:22,105 --> 00:06:23,182 Okay, don't do the barking. 185 00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:24,565 - Okay. - And if you keep this up, 186 00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,793 you will be in great shape if you decide to have kids. 187 00:06:29,190 --> 00:06:30,537 Uh... 188 00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:34,518 Yeah, uh, w-we... we... we already have four children. 189 00:06:34,554 --> 00:06:36,138 Oh. Uh-huh. 190 00:06:37,388 --> 00:06:38,263 You're screwed. 191 00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:39,815 - What? - Uh... 192 00:06:39,851 --> 00:06:41,097 I suggest the two of you sit down 193 00:06:41,132 --> 00:06:43,378 and have a very serious discussion about money. 194 00:06:43,413 --> 00:06:45,249 Oh, oh, geez. 195 00:06:45,286 --> 00:06:46,679 8-8-819. 196 00:06:50,196 --> 00:06:51,334 Oh God! 197 00:06:51,456 --> 00:06:53,565 How did James Brown not see this coming? 198 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,222 Papa got a brand-new order of onion rings! 199 00:06:56,259 --> 00:06:58,029 Set them right there on that fax machine, baby. 200 00:06:58,064 --> 00:07:00,040 Stop talking about James Brown. 201 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:02,799 You said you had this handled, and then we find out 202 00:07:02,837 --> 00:07:04,538 we can't send all four of our kids to college! 203 00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:06,174 Jack was never going to college. 204 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,571 I know that, 205 00:07:07,607 --> 00:07:10,127 but we're supposed to be able to afford 206 00:07:10,162 --> 00:07:11,933 to send him to the college that he can't get into. 207 00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:13,228 You blew it, Dre. 208 00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:14,455 Sounds like money trouble. 209 00:07:14,492 --> 00:07:16,909 And no wonder, the way you two spend. 210 00:07:16,945 --> 00:07:18,068 The latest jeans, 211 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,998 mail-order high-top sneaker-boot tennis shoes. 212 00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:22,635 When I was coming up, all you needed was a pair 213 00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,032 of black-leather pants and a denim vest. 214 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,054 Didn't even need a shirt. 215 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,518 That's why I moved to L.A. 216 00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:28,189 ♪ 217 00:07:28,226 --> 00:07:30,371 You moved to L.A. because of that hit-and-run. 218 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,631 This is not about me. 219 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,676 You two are the ones trying to keep up with the Joneses. 220 00:07:33,712 --> 00:07:36,027 A damn sub-zero fridge. 221 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,629 How cold does stuff really need to be? 222 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,129 I love my refrigerator. 223 00:07:39,164 --> 00:07:41,889 ♪ 224 00:07:41,925 --> 00:07:44,411 Pops, we work hard for everything we have. 225 00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,217 Yes, and you're working hard to spend it 226 00:07:46,254 --> 00:07:49,114 with this crazy-big house with a guesthouse in the back. 227 00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:51,329 You really need to be renting that damn thing out. 228 00:07:51,365 --> 00:07:52,965 You live in that guesthouse! 229 00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:54,090 I'm just sayin'. 230 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,475 It's not financially responsible. 231 00:07:56,512 --> 00:07:58,860 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, please. 232 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,723 Dre, maybe we should hire that financial planner. 233 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,735 I don't want to lose my fridge. 234 00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:06,120 - No! I don't trust him. - What? 235 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,744 He wasn't even impressed with my monster credit score! 236 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:12,493 - Oh, my God. - And it is stupid to pay someone to save us money! 237 00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:13,515 I got this, Bow. 238 00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,322 The only thing that you got, Dre, 239 00:08:15,357 --> 00:08:17,400 is expensive sneakers and James Brown. 240 00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:18,695 You know what? 241 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:22,239 From now on, we are gonna handle this money thing together. 242 00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:23,228 Okay. 243 00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:25,033 And the kid thing, too. 244 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,193 What? 245 00:08:26,229 --> 00:08:27,658 Yeah, that's right, buddy. 246 00:08:27,694 --> 00:08:31,236 The twins have a dentist appointment Saturday morning. 247 00:08:31,273 --> 00:08:33,144 No. No. 248 00:08:35,976 --> 00:08:39,177 No, no, no, no, no! 249 00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,494 No, no, no, no, no, no! 250 00:08:41,529 --> 00:08:42,823 Hello, Apple? 251 00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,186 Yeah, I'm looking for some inside info. 252 00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,572 You know, something that may send your stocks 253 00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:47,969 through the roof. 254 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,707 Okay, well, uh, then, 255 00:08:49,744 --> 00:08:52,059 could you connect me to your top-secret products division? 256 00:08:53,390 --> 00:08:56,047 No insider-trading tips over the phone? 257 00:08:56,082 --> 00:08:58,091 Wow. Shocking. 258 00:08:58,127 --> 00:09:00,613 Those Apple guys are just as tight-lipped as Nike. 259 00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,011 At least he's trying. 260 00:09:03,613 --> 00:09:06,577 That's just the kind of spirit I'm looking for. 261 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,839 Congrats. 262 00:09:07,874 --> 00:09:10,633 You are now the new vice president of J&J Holdings. 263 00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:13,427 All right, now, I'm looking for trends. 264 00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:15,539 What are you hearing? What are you using? 265 00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:17,311 - What are you loving? - Cookies! 266 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,050 Delicious. Need a better idea. 267 00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:20,652 Ooh! I've got one. 268 00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:21,674 Quit. 269 00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,344 - Not helping. - I know. 270 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,867 I just love how you wildly change your personality 271 00:09:25,902 --> 00:09:28,943 from week to week and expect an outcome other than failure. 272 00:09:28,978 --> 00:09:31,027 ♪ 273 00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:33,727 No, I didn't get your WhatsApp. 274 00:09:33,762 --> 00:09:34,990 We're on WeChat now. 275 00:09:35,028 --> 00:09:37,862 WhatsApp is old-school and desperate... 276 00:09:37,898 --> 00:09:40,390 Like calling somebody, Sara. 277 00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:41,416 Goodbye. 278 00:09:49,415 --> 00:09:51,806 I think we just found our hot-dog guy. 279 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,925 Did we? 280 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,094 Walk with me. 281 00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,508 How was the dentist appointment with the twins? 282 00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:02,277 - Oh, harrowing. - Hmm. 283 00:10:02,314 --> 00:10:04,087 Diane may need a night guard. 284 00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:07,604 Jack swallowed fluoride and has a two-week follow-up. 285 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,960 Really hoping you can make it. 286 00:10:09,996 --> 00:10:11,599 So, while you were doing that, 287 00:10:11,635 --> 00:10:14,365 I was able to identify our problem areas. 288 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,038 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 289 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,438 Mm-hmm. 290 00:10:17,473 --> 00:10:20,715 Sneakers, watch of the month, unnecessary insurance. 291 00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:22,048 There's no such thing, Bow. 292 00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:24,061 - Tornado insurance? - You never know. 293 00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,007 - Flood? - Rain happens. 294 00:10:26,044 --> 00:10:28,671 - Volcano. - We live on a fault line! 295 00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:31,403 Why don't you just get us asteroid insurance, Dre? 296 00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,382 Oh, my God. 297 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,660 I've left our family totally exposed. 298 00:10:36,696 --> 00:10:38,675 This is ridiculous. 299 00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:40,757 You know what's ridiculous, Bow? 300 00:10:40,794 --> 00:10:44,343 The things that aren't on your list. 301 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:45,367 Mm. 302 00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:47,792 Like expensive organic hair products, 303 00:10:47,827 --> 00:10:51,444 weekly cuts at Devachan, crates of soy candles, 304 00:10:51,482 --> 00:10:54,928 fresh cut flowers, and monthly sage cleanses. 305 00:10:54,964 --> 00:10:56,908 When was the last time any of us got possessed? 306 00:10:56,944 --> 00:10:59,434 Stop making my point for me. 307 00:10:59,471 --> 00:11:02,132 Fine, before this gets any more hurtful, 308 00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:05,308 I think we should both go on a spending diet. 309 00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:07,185 Mm. 310 00:11:07,222 --> 00:11:10,942 And some of us should go on that real diet 311 00:11:10,978 --> 00:11:12,171 they've been threatening. 312 00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:15,209 Hmm. 313 00:11:15,246 --> 00:11:17,941 So, I take it the "before it gets hurtful" part 314 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:19,272 is off the table. 315 00:11:19,308 --> 00:11:21,321 - Huh. - And since it is, 316 00:11:21,357 --> 00:11:24,668 why don't we just add to our waxing budget? 317 00:11:24,703 --> 00:11:27,876 It will offset our drano fund. 318 00:11:27,913 --> 00:11:30,984 - Wow. Wow. - Mm-hmm. 319 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:34,295 All right, then, hurtful meeting adjourned. 320 00:11:34,332 --> 00:11:37,163 We can both go back to our respective corners 321 00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:39,417 and prove to each other that we can set aside 322 00:11:39,454 --> 00:11:42,490 our luxury lifestyles and make some real cuts. 323 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:43,447 - Agreed. - Mm-hmm. 324 00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:47,543 Check back in in a week. 325 00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:52,251 ♪ 326 00:11:53,585 --> 00:11:55,016 Boom! Another sale! 327 00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:56,462 Put it on the board! 328 00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,738 Uh, is that a new watch? 329 00:11:58,774 --> 00:12:00,116 It's pretty flight, right? 330 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,115 Me and Junior have been following you around, 331 00:12:02,152 --> 00:12:03,321 making money off of you. 332 00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:04,770 You know, like pimps. 333 00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:06,217 You're trendy and cool, 334 00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:08,974 so I've been investing based on your preferences. 335 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:10,870 Oh, my God! 336 00:12:10,907 --> 00:12:13,386 You guys have been using me to make money. 337 00:12:13,423 --> 00:12:16,212 Yeah... Like... Pimps. 338 00:12:16,249 --> 00:12:18,453 Okay, so, where's my cut? 339 00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:19,590 Your cut? 340 00:12:19,627 --> 00:12:21,348 This is public information, baby. 341 00:12:21,384 --> 00:12:25,036 Not anymore. I'm shutting you down. 342 00:12:25,073 --> 00:12:28,380 What is she reading? 343 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,791 ♪ 344 00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:39,512 Yes, operator, in Los Angeles, 345 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:43,407 the number for... dress barn. 346 00:12:43,444 --> 00:12:45,711 We're doomed. 347 00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:48,657 So, Bow and I decided to prove to each other 348 00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:50,992 that we could live without our outrageous expenses. 349 00:12:51,028 --> 00:12:52,821 Bow started with hair products 350 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,853 she picked up at the dollar store. 351 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:03,790 I countered with some of Kirkland's finest. 352 00:13:03,828 --> 00:13:04,841 Sharp! Ha ha! 353 00:13:07,518 --> 00:13:11,206 And neither of us was really loving it. 354 00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:15,439 Oh. 355 00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:18,689 You'll actually look forward to laundry day. 356 00:13:18,725 --> 00:13:20,146 What are those?! 357 00:13:20,181 --> 00:13:21,601 What are those?! 358 00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:23,328 What are tho... 359 00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:25,495 no, no, no, no. Seriously, what... what's going on? 360 00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:27,256 Budget cuts. 361 00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:28,983 Oh, no, no, no, this is not happening. Not on my watch. 362 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,810 I have an emergency pair of CrispyKicks 363 00:13:30,846 --> 00:13:32,842 and a selection of hoodies in my cubicle. 364 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,570 - Go hit that. - No, no, it It's cool, it's cool. 365 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:38,327 Wh... hold on, hold on. You have backup clothes? 366 00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:39,750 You're an assistant. 367 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,206 Although, now that I think of it, 368 00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:42,967 I've never actually seen either of you wear 369 00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:44,524 - the same thing twice. - Thank you. 370 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:46,386 Oh, listen, Dre, if you're having budget concerns, 371 00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:49,535 you may consider repeating an outfit every once in a while. 372 00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:50,991 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 373 00:13:51,027 --> 00:13:52,887 If he does that, you might as well start wearing holey flannels, 374 00:13:52,923 --> 00:13:54,850 scuffing up your kicks, and drive a prius. 375 00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:55,698 I drive a prius. 376 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:56,679 Of course you do. 377 00:13:56,716 --> 00:13:59,252 See, you can do that. 378 00:13:59,288 --> 00:14:00,810 Brothers cannot. 379 00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:03,721 We have to dress the part just to get the part 380 00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:04,704 that you already have. 381 00:14:04,739 --> 00:14:06,905 Oh, so, it's a "cultural" thing. 382 00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,496 I love this part of the day. 383 00:14:08,566 --> 00:14:10,832 I'm gonna sit and just listen and not weigh in. 384 00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:12,796 H.R. says I'm on my second strike, 385 00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:15,200 but I can't wait for the part where you explain 386 00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:18,045 how your outfits somehow relate to slavery. Go. 387 00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,227 Did he just say that? 388 00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:23,637 I did, and I-I... and I feel like it's probably strike three? 389 00:14:24,845 --> 00:14:26,324 Ugh. 390 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,562 Hey, babe. 391 00:14:28,599 --> 00:14:31,283 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 392 00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:33,571 Organic avocado-pear conditioner? 393 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,187 I thought we said we were cutting back. 394 00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:38,920 Oh, we did. And then Oh... these arrived. 395 00:14:40,537 --> 00:14:42,250 - Oh. - More shoes. 396 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:43,427 Dre, what's wrong with you? 397 00:14:43,463 --> 00:14:45,379 I'm tired of looking like this! 398 00:14:45,414 --> 00:14:47,297 Well, I'm tired of looking like this! 399 00:14:47,331 --> 00:14:48,440 Damn. 400 00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:49,987 Dre, I took a nap in a wheelchair at work, 401 00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:51,399 and they tagged me as a psych patient. 402 00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:54,226 We agreed we were gonna make some serious changes. 403 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,446 And we will. 404 00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:58,430 I-I... let me just explain, all right? 405 00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:01,828 M-my shoes and my clothes They are a part of me. 406 00:15:01,863 --> 00:15:03,577 I can't compromise on those. 407 00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:06,369 - Dre... - look, I have a plan to offset my spending. 408 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,379 - Okay. - All right? 409 00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:10,170 I'm gonna start mowing our own lawn. 410 00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:11,919 Big Dre got that. 411 00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:14,308 Same way big Dre handled our money? 412 00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,360 What does that mean? 413 00:15:16,396 --> 00:15:19,185 It wasn't coded, Dre. You broke our deal. 414 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:22,818 I trusted you to handle our finances, and you failed. 415 00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:24,165 Okay, so all of this is on me? 416 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,250 Because I don't remember you saying anything 417 00:15:26,285 --> 00:15:29,176 when we bought this house and when we bought those cars 418 00:15:29,212 --> 00:15:31,396 and when I bought this sub-zero refrigerator. 419 00:15:31,433 --> 00:15:33,617 I don't remember the princess suburbian mom 420 00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:34,996 saying no to any of that stuff. 421 00:15:35,031 --> 00:15:36,442 I didn't say no 422 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,965 because I thought I married a man 423 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,849 who could take care of business. 424 00:15:42,196 --> 00:15:44,179 Yeah. 425 00:15:44,214 --> 00:15:46,063 ♪ 426 00:15:50,331 --> 00:15:54,063 How am I the monster?! What's the point in having... 427 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,520 Rainbow, Rainbow, I need you to slow down and stay in the frame. 428 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,437 If I can't see you, I can't read your aura. 429 00:15:58,473 --> 00:16:00,590 My aura is pissed off! 430 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,684 Sweetheart, no need to transfer your anger onto me. 431 00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:07,149 Now, let's talk about the real source of your problems. 432 00:16:07,185 --> 00:16:08,025 Andre! 433 00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:09,369 You know what? 434 00:16:09,406 --> 00:16:10,951 For once, you might be right, Mom. 435 00:16:11,019 --> 00:16:14,045 How did you and dad deal with money issues? 436 00:16:14,082 --> 00:16:15,895 Well, as long as there was enough, 437 00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,216 I tried not to really involve myself. 438 00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:20,200 Well, was there enough? 439 00:16:20,237 --> 00:16:22,522 I-I-I suppose, yes. I don't know. 440 00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:25,449 Let's focus on Andre's shortcomings. 441 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,064 He's very loud. 442 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,746 Mom! Seriously. 443 00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:30,931 Why don't we talk about money? 444 00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:34,902 Because I don't understand it, okay? 445 00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,752 Talking about it makes me feel stupid. 446 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,611 Oh, my God. Me too. 447 00:16:39,646 --> 00:16:41,662 That's why I gave Dre the job. 448 00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:43,446 I did the same thing. 449 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,295 I let your father handle it. 450 00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:49,332 And now we're living in an R.V. that runs on our own waste! 451 00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:51,721 Oh, my God. I am sweating. 452 00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:57,344 We really need a prescription. 453 00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:58,998 All right, buddy, you feeling it? 454 00:16:59,035 --> 00:17:00,153 It's me and you. 455 00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,781 But we don't have Zoey's cool. 456 00:17:01,818 --> 00:17:03,513 We don't need it. 457 00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:04,497 We've got this. 458 00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:06,263 Now, come on, let me get some. 459 00:17:06,298 --> 00:17:08,571 ♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪ 460 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,675 ♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪ 461 00:17:10,712 --> 00:17:12,779 ♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪ 462 00:17:12,815 --> 00:17:14,477 - ♪ Uh-mmmmmmm ♪ - ♪ mmmmmm ♪ 463 00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,733 Okay, what you got? 464 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,023 My chest hurts. 465 00:17:17,058 --> 00:17:18,380 Maybe we should just give Zoey a cut. 466 00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:19,875 We don't need her. 467 00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:22,386 We have her garbage. 468 00:17:22,422 --> 00:17:23,777 I am not following. 469 00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,834 Bingo. 470 00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:29,956 This is it. 471 00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:33,485 Lip gloss made by Exgen cosmetic laboratories. 472 00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:36,744 There's moments in life where you got to tuck your balls. 473 00:17:36,779 --> 00:17:38,781 Other times, you got to let them hang. 474 00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:39,969 I don't want to do either. 475 00:17:40,004 --> 00:17:43,024 It's a metaphor. You all-in or not? 476 00:17:43,059 --> 00:17:44,381 Do I get to keep the suit? 477 00:17:44,418 --> 00:17:45,739 Yes. 478 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:46,927 Then let's tuck 'em! 479 00:17:46,963 --> 00:17:49,167 No, we're gonna let 'em hang. 480 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,033 It's my bad. I wasn't clear. 481 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,172 Ooh, got a hot tip. 482 00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:54,870 - Son, let me just hold a little bit. - No. 483 00:17:54,906 --> 00:17:56,126 - Just a little something. - No. 484 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:59,351 No more holding anything, ever. 485 00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:00,878 - How hot? - Look... 486 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,406 no, no, no, no! Don't even tell me. 487 00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,662 See, you got me all turned around. 488 00:18:03,697 --> 00:18:05,188 You're the reason I'm in this mess right now. 489 00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:07,938 Got me looking like less than a man in front of my wife. 490 00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:09,465 You don't need no help with that. 491 00:18:09,502 --> 00:18:11,943 I told you, baby wipes in the bathroom was the wrong move. 492 00:18:11,979 --> 00:18:13,335 I'm not talking about baby wipes. 493 00:18:13,371 --> 00:18:15,338 Look, man, you lived from check-to-check, 494 00:18:15,374 --> 00:18:17,002 and now, basically, I'm doing the same thing. 495 00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:18,291 Hold on, now. 496 00:18:18,327 --> 00:18:20,600 I ain't had no shame about living check-to-check. 497 00:18:20,635 --> 00:18:22,024 That means I was getting a check. 498 00:18:22,061 --> 00:18:23,993 Had another check to look forward to 499 00:18:24,030 --> 00:18:25,215 and a pension after that. 500 00:18:25,251 --> 00:18:26,981 You... you're just blowing through money fast. 501 00:18:27,016 --> 00:18:28,169 You didn't learn that from me. 502 00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:30,036 Exactly, because, when it comes to money, 503 00:18:30,071 --> 00:18:32,343 you never taught me a damn thing about financial planning. 504 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,414 Well, back then, we didn't have any financial planning, 505 00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,450 'cause we didn't have any finances to plan for. 506 00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:38,521 Food on the table, roof over your head... 507 00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:39,574 that was the plan. 508 00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,779 But you got your degree and a great job. 509 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:45,106 This is on you. You don't have any excuse. 510 00:18:45,143 --> 00:18:47,448 You need to own that, Mr. 815. 511 00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:49,146 - 819. - Whatever. 512 00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:52,744 Anything between 770 and 850 are basically the same. 513 00:18:52,779 --> 00:18:56,443 Saw that on "Charlie Rose." 514 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,720 You know he's right. 515 00:19:00,756 --> 00:19:03,369 Look, there's pride in over 800. 516 00:19:03,404 --> 00:19:05,574 About needing to own it, Dre, 517 00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:08,290 which is why I want to apologize. 518 00:19:08,325 --> 00:19:11,684 Just the whole money thing is so scary to me, 519 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,687 and I said things I shouldn't have said. 520 00:19:13,722 --> 00:19:18,100 So... I'm sorry. 521 00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:19,661 I'm sorry, Dre. 522 00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,800 I trust you more than anyone else. 523 00:19:21,835 --> 00:19:24,209 I do. And I think you're the smartest man I know. 524 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,567 Really? 525 00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,740 - Top 10. - Uh... 526 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:31,031 Dre, I-I-I work with a lot of very bright people, 527 00:19:31,068 --> 00:19:34,020 and for an adman to be in the top 20... 528 00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:35,478 Oh...30. 529 00:19:35,515 --> 00:19:38,636 But you... Are... 530 00:19:38,672 --> 00:19:40,842 The smartest man 531 00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:44,134 I have ever been married to. 532 00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:51,059 Look, babe, I... I'm sorry I got us into this mess. 533 00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:54,046 And I know I like to live a little large. 534 00:19:54,081 --> 00:19:57,372 Dre, you have snakeskin pajamas. 535 00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:58,459 Yep. 536 00:19:58,495 --> 00:20:00,427 And I do all that for a reason. 537 00:20:00,463 --> 00:20:02,192 Take these sneakers. 538 00:20:02,228 --> 00:20:03,991 - Uh-huh. - Right? 539 00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,182 I only started buying them because I wanted the same ones 540 00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:09,831 my mother couldn't afford when I was a kid. 541 00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:12,919 And I guess that thinking spilled over into 542 00:20:12,954 --> 00:20:16,042 the house I always wanted and the car I always wanted. 543 00:20:16,077 --> 00:20:17,908 But, babe, the truth is, 544 00:20:17,945 --> 00:20:20,250 the only thing that really matters 545 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:24,087 is that I got the woman I always wanted. 546 00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,716 Okay? 547 00:20:25,752 --> 00:20:26,972 Okay. 548 00:20:27,007 --> 00:20:29,890 ♪ 549 00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:31,417 And I got my fridge. 550 00:20:35,781 --> 00:20:38,715 So, we decided to start talking about money more as a family, 551 00:20:38,812 --> 00:20:41,565 which is good, since Jack and Junior 552 00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:44,873 literally lost their shirts when Exgen went belly-up. 553 00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:48,350 Even pops started taking a more proactive approach. 554 00:20:48,386 --> 00:20:50,747 That's it, J.B. I ain't got no receipts. 555 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,301 Better not to! 556 00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:53,551 Well, you don't want to leave a paper trail 557 00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:55,308 when you're dealing with the IRS. 558 00:20:55,344 --> 00:20:57,268 - My man. - Now, Earl, 559 00:20:57,303 --> 00:21:00,005 if you can sew your pockets shut on all your clothes... 560 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,099 - Yeah? - They qualify as a costume. 561 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,552 - Say what? - Yeah, it's a write-off. 562 00:21:03,588 --> 00:21:04,037 What?! 563 00:21:04,158 --> 00:21:06,743 Now, all you got to do now is go onstage once a year. 564 00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:09,127 - Like singing or something? - You can do stand-up. 565 00:21:09,162 --> 00:21:10,681 Well, I can talk with a drink in my hand for 10 minutes. 566 00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,133 Don't need but five. 567 00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:16,188 Then let's do 10... take out two fiscal years. 568 00:21:17,339 --> 00:21:18,418 - My man! - Yes, sir! 569 00:21:18,454 --> 00:21:19,330 Whoo!