1 00:00:01,332 --> 00:00:03,282 Jury duty. 2 00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:06,629 An American honor. 3 00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:09,030 One of the cornerstones of our democracy. 4 00:00:09,063 --> 00:00:11,399 A civic obligation 5 00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:13,035 that's a small price to pay 6 00:00:13,068 --> 00:00:15,371 to live in a fair and just society. 7 00:00:17,505 --> 00:00:18,773 But since the government 8 00:00:18,807 --> 00:00:21,043 is too cheap to pay for certified mail, 9 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:24,080 there's no way to prove I got this. 10 00:00:24,112 --> 00:00:27,315 Which is good, 'cause jury duty sucks. 11 00:00:27,348 --> 00:00:28,783 Florescent lighting. 12 00:00:28,816 --> 00:00:30,385 Crappy parking. 13 00:00:30,418 --> 00:00:33,055 A one-way map to the nearest lunch spot. 14 00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:36,324 But mostly, jury duty is sitting in a room all day 15 00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:38,059 with a bunch of weirdos 16 00:00:38,092 --> 00:00:40,562 who live for the opportunity to judge others. 17 00:00:40,595 --> 00:00:43,465 String him up! Shoot him out back! 18 00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:46,735 Ma'am, for the last time, this is traffic court. 19 00:00:46,769 --> 00:00:50,071 And your left breast has been exposed for two hours. 20 00:00:50,104 --> 00:00:51,406 My le... 21 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:52,408 Oh. 22 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,309 Oh, well... 23 00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:57,479 Justice doled out at a buck-80 an hour... 24 00:00:57,513 --> 00:00:58,748 you get what you pay for. 25 00:00:58,781 --> 00:00:59,748 How you doing? 26 00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:01,349 That's why I have joined 27 00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:03,685 millions of other patriotic Americans 28 00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,620 in saying, "Screw jury duty." 29 00:01:05,653 --> 00:01:06,988 Good news, Dad. 30 00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,957 You accidentally put this in the shredder, 31 00:01:08,991 --> 00:01:11,027 but I was able to reassemble it 32 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:14,228 and put your juror number in the online system. 33 00:01:14,238 --> 00:01:15,598 Why? 34 00:01:15,631 --> 00:01:18,167 Why would you do this? Huh? Why would you do any of this? 35 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,502 No need to thank me, 36 00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:22,203 but I also called to confirm they received it. 37 00:01:22,236 --> 00:01:23,438 They did, 38 00:01:23,471 --> 00:01:26,208 so 7:00 a.m. sharp, Temple Street Courthouse. 39 00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:27,709 Be there or be square... 40 00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:30,545 and in contempt of court. 41 00:01:30,578 --> 00:01:31,647 Mu... 42 00:01:31,745 --> 00:01:34,907 Synced and corrected by johnyd13 ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 43 00:01:34,917 --> 00:01:35,985 I have copies. 44 00:01:44,158 --> 00:01:47,962 Oh, there's the face of a civic warrior! 45 00:01:47,995 --> 00:01:49,230 Look at you. 46 00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:51,667 Yes, look at me. I'm a weirdo. 47 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,336 You made me a weirdo. 48 00:01:54,369 --> 00:01:57,640 I befriended someone today who I believe lives outside. 49 00:01:57,673 --> 00:02:00,076 Told me he was gonna friend me on Facebook 50 00:02:00,108 --> 00:02:02,010 on the library's computer. 51 00:02:02,043 --> 00:02:04,646 Good news is you did it. 52 00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:05,914 - So you're all done now. - No. 53 00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,083 I'm not all done. It's just the beginning. 54 00:02:08,117 --> 00:02:10,553 They chose me. I'm on the jury. 55 00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:12,387 Moneyball! High-five! 56 00:02:12,421 --> 00:02:13,421 Ha, yeah! 57 00:02:14,723 --> 00:02:15,690 Dad. 58 00:02:15,724 --> 00:02:17,893 Rainbow: Dre, come on. 59 00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:19,862 I don't think jury duty's gonna be that bad. 60 00:02:19,894 --> 00:02:22,030 I missed my fantasy-basketball draft. 61 00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:23,399 Do you know how hard it is 62 00:02:23,432 --> 00:02:25,000 to recover from computer selections? 63 00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:27,602 I have four centers... four! 64 00:02:27,636 --> 00:02:29,371 I don't... Is that something... We don't want that? 65 00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:31,006 Junior: Dad, it's worth it. 66 00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:33,342 The criminal-justice system is broken. 67 00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:36,077 Public defenders have impossible caseloads. 68 00:02:36,111 --> 00:02:38,748 In some states, they only have about seven minutes 69 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:40,849 - to prepare for a case. - Seven? 70 00:02:40,882 --> 00:02:42,451 Hey, Junior, come here for a second. 71 00:02:42,483 --> 00:02:44,018 Come here. Can you do me a huge favor? 72 00:02:44,052 --> 00:02:45,254 - Yeah. - Shut up! 73 00:02:45,286 --> 00:02:47,223 Oh. 74 00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:49,090 - Not today, big guy. - Get him. 75 00:02:49,124 --> 00:02:50,793 Another insane fact... 76 00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:54,396 97% of prisoners accepted plea deals 77 00:02:54,428 --> 00:02:56,699 rather than going on trial. 78 00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:59,033 The system needs you, Dad. 79 00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:01,102 The odds are stacked against the accused, 80 00:03:01,136 --> 00:03:02,638 who often lack the resources 81 00:03:02,671 --> 00:03:04,940 required for an adequate defense. 82 00:03:04,973 --> 00:03:07,610 Somebody's been watching documentaries again, huh? 83 00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:08,711 Yes, I have. 84 00:03:08,743 --> 00:03:10,979 More documentaries. 85 00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:13,949 Every time you watch one, you ruin my life. 86 00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:15,784 Remember "Super Size Me"? 87 00:03:17,319 --> 00:03:20,723 I just saved you 600 low-quality calories. 88 00:03:20,755 --> 00:03:21,755 You're welcome, Dad. 89 00:03:26,928 --> 00:03:30,165 Well, I'm not sorry you have to do your civic duty. 90 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:34,102 This is a real person who deserves a fair trial 91 00:03:34,136 --> 00:03:36,806 and is entitled to a jury of his own peers. 92 00:03:36,838 --> 00:03:39,240 I wish I could kill you. 93 00:03:39,273 --> 00:03:42,343 But that would just send another poor bastard to jury duty. 94 00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:44,179 Oh. 95 00:03:44,213 --> 00:03:45,648 Junior: Going... Oh, I'm hitting the combo. 96 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:47,148 - Nope, nope. - Can't get out of this one. 97 00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:48,284 - Oh, oh, oh! - No. 98 00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:50,118 Boom! Got you! 99 00:03:50,152 --> 00:03:52,188 [Bleep] you, Junior. You killed me. 100 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:55,256 Hey! Seth! Language! 101 00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:56,858 We don't talk like that. 102 00:03:56,892 --> 00:03:59,161 This is an "Oh, fudge" house. 103 00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:01,831 - Sorry, Mrs. Johnson. - Whew, it's been a long time 104 00:04:01,863 --> 00:04:04,432 since I handed down the punishment of the Lord. 105 00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:06,836 Ooh. Black Jesus, please don't let me... 106 00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:08,837 follow through too hard on the white neighbor lady's child. 107 00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:09,939 - Okay. - No, let me throw it. 108 00:04:09,971 --> 00:04:11,005 No. No, no, no. Okay, it's handled. 109 00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:13,107 It's handled. 110 00:04:14,343 --> 00:04:15,611 Hey. 111 00:04:15,644 --> 00:04:16,812 What up, Rainbow? 112 00:04:16,844 --> 00:04:18,346 - Hi. - I'm here for Seth. 113 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:20,616 We're going to the Kanye West concert. 114 00:04:20,649 --> 00:04:22,518 Yeah, that feels right. 115 00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:24,687 - Seth, let's wrap it up! - Okay, just why don't you come on in? 116 00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:26,221 - It's Yeezy time! - Seth: Okay. 117 00:04:26,255 --> 00:04:27,822 Hey, hey, Janine, 118 00:04:27,856 --> 00:04:29,791 can I talk to you for one little, quick second? 119 00:04:29,825 --> 00:04:31,060 Please don't take this the wrong way, 120 00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,047 but I'm a little bit concerned. 121 00:04:32,057 --> 00:04:34,193 Your son could have, 122 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:35,694 like, a bright future as a dock worker. 123 00:04:35,728 --> 00:04:37,095 Kid's got a real mouth on him. 124 00:04:37,129 --> 00:04:38,664 Yeah, he certainly does. 125 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,865 No, no. Cursing is just a form of self-expression. 126 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:43,502 I find that it allows my baby boy 127 00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:45,638 to feel more comfortable sharing with his mama. 128 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,206 Here, watch this. 129 00:04:47,239 --> 00:04:49,542 Hey, Seth, how many kids in your class are having sex? 130 00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:50,608 - Wha... - Five. 131 00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:52,610 But not me. I'm only doing top stuff. 132 00:04:52,644 --> 00:04:53,845 - Mm. - Ohh. 133 00:04:55,346 --> 00:04:58,660 Well, I obviously know Junior very well, too. 134 00:04:58,670 --> 00:05:01,138 We are incredibly close. 135 00:05:01,172 --> 00:05:03,428 - And without the use of profanity. - Mm-hmm. 136 00:05:03,438 --> 00:05:05,608 You do know that he curses when he's at my house. 137 00:05:05,642 --> 00:05:07,409 That's impossible. 138 00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:09,445 We... This is an "Oh, shucks" house. 139 00:05:09,478 --> 00:05:11,248 We don't... What is that? 140 00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:12,682 Get that [bleep] out of my house! 141 00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:13,782 - Whew! - Oh! 142 00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:15,351 - Okay. - Shucks. 143 00:05:15,385 --> 00:05:17,019 Ooh-kay. 144 00:05:17,053 --> 00:05:18,088 On the bright side, I guess the two 145 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,055 could carpool to the docks together. 146 00:05:21,957 --> 00:05:22,957 - Ow! - Ooh! 147 00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:25,695 Oh, no. 148 00:05:25,728 --> 00:05:27,731 Don't do that. 149 00:05:29,431 --> 00:05:32,402 Okay, so maybe they can make me sit here, 150 00:05:32,435 --> 00:05:34,904 but they sure as hell can't make me listen. 151 00:05:34,937 --> 00:05:36,373 And welcome back 152 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:39,576 to Andy Richter narrating "Rich Dad Poor Dad." 153 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:43,926 This is not just a jury summons. 154 00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:47,362 This is a real person who deserves a fair trial. 155 00:05:50,122 --> 00:05:51,524 Mr. Antoine Jeffries, 156 00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:53,593 you're charged with burglary and grand larceny. 157 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:54,360 How do you plead? 158 00:05:54,394 --> 00:05:56,730 Uh... 159 00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:59,832 Public defenders have impossible caseloads. 160 00:05:59,865 --> 00:06:01,935 In some states, they only have about seven minutes 161 00:06:01,968 --> 00:06:03,504 - to prepare for a case. - Um... 162 00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:04,771 Guilty. 163 00:06:04,805 --> 00:06:06,607 Oh. 164 00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:07,940 Wait. That's a different Antoine. 165 00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:10,577 Uh, this Antoine pleads... 166 00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,946 not guilty. 167 00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:14,281 Right? 168 00:06:14,314 --> 00:06:17,117 And is entitled to a jury of his peers. 169 00:06:18,776 --> 00:06:22,280 So I was the only thing close to a peer for this kid. 170 00:06:22,314 --> 00:06:24,448 Plus I was the only one actually listening. 171 00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:26,083 Really? 172 00:06:26,117 --> 00:06:30,789 "Live Free or Die Hard" is your favorite "Die Hard"? 173 00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:31,821 Ugh. 174 00:06:34,292 --> 00:06:37,296 I can't stop thinking about what Janine said to me. 175 00:06:37,328 --> 00:06:38,663 Do you think Junior's a different person 176 00:06:38,696 --> 00:06:39,797 when I'm not around? 177 00:06:39,831 --> 00:06:41,999 I mean, I don't let him curse at home. 178 00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:45,369 So am I creating an environment of deception? 179 00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:47,039 What else don't I know? 180 00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,473 The list of what you don't know is long. 181 00:06:49,506 --> 00:06:52,043 Number one is how to keep your man happy. 182 00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:53,076 Where's your man? 183 00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:54,933 Hey! 184 00:06:54,943 --> 00:06:56,579 Hi! How was school today? 185 00:06:56,612 --> 00:06:58,114 Great. The funniest thing happened. 186 00:06:58,147 --> 00:06:59,615 Oh, tell me. 187 00:06:59,648 --> 00:07:01,083 Wha... 188 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,485 How is it that you just don't give up on life? 189 00:07:03,495 --> 00:07:04,963 She's... She's gonna tell me later. 190 00:07:04,996 --> 00:07:06,632 - We're really close. - Yeah, yeah, right. 191 00:07:06,664 --> 00:07:09,400 Hey! How you doing? What's going on? 192 00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,602 Oh. W-Why... Why do you have leaves in your hair? 193 00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,505 Well, I didn't punch anyone in the face, 194 00:07:13,537 --> 00:07:14,972 if that's what you're implying. 195 00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,474 Oh, well, I'd love to hear more about that. 196 00:07:16,508 --> 00:07:18,277 Well... 197 00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,577 Maybe she'll tell me later. 198 00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:21,947 Oh! Did one of your classmates 199 00:07:21,979 --> 00:07:23,515 give you this friendship bracelet? 200 00:07:23,548 --> 00:07:25,149 Do you have a little girlfriend?! 201 00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,252 - No. - You can tell me. 202 00:07:27,284 --> 00:07:28,820 Mommy. 203 00:07:28,854 --> 00:07:30,188 Mom, a little space, please. 204 00:07:30,222 --> 00:07:31,957 - Uh... - Oof. 205 00:07:31,989 --> 00:07:33,624 - Oh, my God. - Mm. 206 00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:35,760 I don't know my kids. 207 00:07:35,794 --> 00:07:37,195 I'm gonna have to try the cursing thing. 208 00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:40,132 Mnh-mnh! Cursing is the devil's tongue. 209 00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:42,266 You're not supposed to know your kids, anyway. 210 00:07:42,299 --> 00:07:44,169 I hardly know anything about Dre. 211 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:47,005 And Rhonda still hasn't introduced me to her boyfriend. 212 00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:48,005 - Ruby. - Huh? 213 00:07:48,039 --> 00:07:49,241 Rhonda's gay. 214 00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:51,642 Oh, yeah, right. 215 00:07:51,676 --> 00:07:53,878 She... She's still doing that. 216 00:07:53,911 --> 00:07:56,113 I don't know why I even asked you. 217 00:07:56,147 --> 00:07:59,308 An eyewitness saw the defendant at the scene. 218 00:07:59,318 --> 00:08:03,056 The next day, the defendant was seen wearing the stolen hoodie, 219 00:08:03,089 --> 00:08:05,558 with a substantial amount of cash in his pocket. 220 00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:07,926 This is an open-and-shut case. 221 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,830 Antoine Jeffries is guilty. 222 00:08:10,863 --> 00:08:11,898 Thank you. 223 00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:14,366 Mr. Alexander, the floor is yours. 224 00:08:18,436 --> 00:08:22,109 Look, guys, I, uh... thought this was tomorrow. 225 00:08:24,544 --> 00:08:25,611 Trust your hearts. 226 00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:27,146 What? 227 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,489 Okay, everyone, let's take a vote. 228 00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:38,190 Get this over with. 229 00:08:38,223 --> 00:08:40,126 You heard the prosecutor... open-and-shut. 230 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,327 Let's convict this kid so we can all go home. 231 00:08:47,232 --> 00:08:48,001 Guilty. 232 00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,001 Guilty. 233 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:49,868 Guilty. 234 00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,036 Guilty. 235 00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:51,871 Guilty. Guilty. 236 00:08:51,904 --> 00:08:52,838 Guilty. Guilty. 237 00:08:52,871 --> 00:08:53,705 Guilty. Guilty. 238 00:08:53,738 --> 00:08:54,807 Guilty. Guilty. 239 00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:58,144 Not guilty. 240 00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,479 All right. 241 00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:01,180 11 to 1. 242 00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:02,881 Would the one like to explain 243 00:09:02,914 --> 00:09:04,650 why he doesn't want us to go home? 244 00:09:04,683 --> 00:09:10,023 Well, the one, whoever he or she may be, 245 00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:12,324 might just think that this is a real person 246 00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:16,195 who deserves a fair trial from a jury of his peers. 247 00:09:16,228 --> 00:09:20,232 Uh, "open-and-shut" just seems a little fast. 248 00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:21,867 Great. 249 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:24,169 All the juries in the country, and we get the one 250 00:09:24,202 --> 00:09:25,962 with the guy that just watched a documentary. 251 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:28,405 - What? - Come on. 252 00:09:32,349 --> 00:09:34,283 Okay, guys, just want to talk 253 00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:37,280 a little bit about the cursing guidelines 254 00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:40,160 to ensure a smooth transition. 255 00:09:40,192 --> 00:09:42,075 So you're gonna actually let us swear... 256 00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:43,687 - Yeah. - In front of you? 257 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,089 Yeah! Sweetheart, words are simply tools 258 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:47,190 for self-expression. 259 00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:48,725 I don't need to be so uptight, 260 00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:50,927 and I don't need to be your word police. 261 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,930 Well, I think it's a terrible idea. 262 00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,599 - Yeah, well. - But you've made your decision. 263 00:09:54,632 --> 00:09:56,767 - Yes. - I don't know, Mom. 264 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,202 This reeks of entrapment. 265 00:09:58,234 --> 00:09:59,036 No, no, no. 266 00:09:59,069 --> 00:10:00,404 I promise it's not. Unh-unh. 267 00:10:00,436 --> 00:10:01,171 Who wants to try, guys? 268 00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,172 Come on. 269 00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:03,206 Go for it. 270 00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,841 Um... boobies? 271 00:10:04,874 --> 00:10:05,675 Oh. 272 00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,111 - Oh. - Okay. 273 00:10:07,143 --> 00:10:08,211 Well, that's something. 274 00:10:08,244 --> 00:10:09,546 Who wants to try the hard stuff, though? 275 00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:10,680 Come on. Hard stuff? 276 00:10:10,714 --> 00:10:12,016 - Ugh! - Oh. 277 00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:13,618 This gazpacho tastes like [bleep] 278 00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:14,584 Whoa, whoa! 279 00:10:14,618 --> 00:10:16,786 - Okay. - It's nasty. 280 00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:19,422 Yeah, all right, well, that was a little hurtful. 281 00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:20,651 But it sounded really natural. 282 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:21,862 I'm sorry, Mom. 283 00:10:21,896 --> 00:10:23,832 I'm just not comfortable with this. 284 00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:25,032 I don't swear. 285 00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:26,401 Janine's been recording you. 286 00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:27,703 That [bleep] 287 00:10:27,736 --> 00:10:29,304 - Oh! - Oh, my! 288 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,073 Okay, that was so jarring! 289 00:10:31,106 --> 00:10:33,508 But way to go with the self-expression! 290 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:36,478 The lines of communication are open for business. 291 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,313 Ring, ring! 292 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,115 Poop, boobies, snot! 293 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,186 You'll get there, sweetie. 294 00:10:44,218 --> 00:10:46,688 All right, guys, a little brainstorming. 295 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,438 Sleep Tite Inns needs rebranding 296 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,017 because of a series of recent murders. 297 00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:51,653 - Go! - O-Okay. 298 00:10:51,686 --> 00:10:53,788 Uh, "We know how to keep a secret." 299 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,790 "Why don't you stay here... forever?" 300 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,159 "What are the odds it happens three times?" 301 00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,028 "We're killing the competition." 302 00:11:00,061 --> 00:11:01,596 Can... Can I hop in? 303 00:11:01,629 --> 00:11:03,197 Um... 304 00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,600 "You'll feel like you've died and gone to heaven." 305 00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:06,601 - Bro. - Charlie: I see your vision. 306 00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:07,369 - Bro. - I see your vision. 307 00:11:07,402 --> 00:11:08,837 No! Guys! 308 00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:09,971 - Guys! - Did you go to college? 309 00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:12,173 These are horrible, okay? 310 00:11:12,207 --> 00:11:13,695 All they do is highlight the murders. 311 00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:14,973 No, no, no, lookit. 312 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,309 We needs something more along the lines of, um, 313 00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:20,212 "Come for the endless breakfasts, 314 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,713 stay because you won't get murdered." 315 00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:22,948 Oh, my God. I just did it, too. 316 00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:24,183 - See? - You did what we did. 317 00:11:24,215 --> 00:11:25,216 Wow. This is hard. 318 00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,619 - Very hard. - Your mind thinks, but then your... 319 00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,653 Hey, Dre! You're here! 320 00:11:28,686 --> 00:11:30,889 We weren't floundering in your absence. 321 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,224 W-Wait a minute. Why are you here? 322 00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:33,825 I thought you were on trial. 323 00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:36,295 No, I'm on a trial... 324 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:36,962 - Oh. - Ah. 325 00:11:36,994 --> 00:11:37,796 As a juror. 326 00:11:37,829 --> 00:11:38,863 - Okay. - All right? 327 00:11:38,896 --> 00:11:39,964 But the courthouse is closed today 328 00:11:39,997 --> 00:11:41,834 because of a Black Lives Matter protest. 329 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,035 What? I thought you guys won that one. 330 00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:45,257 - Nah. - Nah. 331 00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:46,671 Oh. 332 00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:47,205 I still can't believe 333 00:11:47,238 --> 00:11:48,873 you let yourself get stuck in jury duty. 334 00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:50,408 Yeah, I know. It's easy to get out. 335 00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:51,844 You just got to go in shirtless. 336 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,747 Or wear too many shirts... some of them as pants. 337 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,449 But don't button it all the way up. 338 00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,783 You'll choke your booty out. 339 00:11:57,815 --> 00:12:00,752 No one goes to jury duty, Dre. Send your proxy. 340 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,887 You have a proxy? 341 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,555 You don't? Come on! 342 00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:05,858 My proxy went to all my kids' plays. 343 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,959 And he had sex with my first wife 344 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:09,895 - when she couldn't lose that baby weight. - Nice. 345 00:12:09,927 --> 00:12:11,897 Well, I'll never get stuck in jury duty. 346 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,632 I'm legally deceased. 347 00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:16,435 That's why I can't cash my checks. 348 00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:19,704 You know what, Charlie? I used to blow off my civic duty, too, 349 00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:22,407 until I sat in that courtroom 350 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,076 and started to feel the enormous responsibility 351 00:12:25,109 --> 00:12:27,779 of holding another man's life in my hands. 352 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:30,249 I... I'll just say it. 353 00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:31,299 - I care. - Hmm. 354 00:12:31,309 --> 00:12:32,743 Oh. Okay. 355 00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:34,246 So the defendant is black. 356 00:12:34,278 --> 00:12:36,280 Who said he was black? 357 00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:38,127 Well, is he? 358 00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:41,353 I'm not doing this just because he's black. 359 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,621 Okay. Hello. 360 00:12:42,653 --> 00:12:43,954 All right, and if I'm being honest... 361 00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:45,690 - Yeah. - This country's judicial system 362 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,747 has not been great for us. 363 00:12:47,757 --> 00:12:48,826 Mm-hmm. No. 364 00:12:48,859 --> 00:12:49,827 And here comes 365 00:12:49,861 --> 00:12:51,496 a two-hour lecture on black stuff. 366 00:12:51,528 --> 00:12:52,990 God, I wish my proxy were here. 367 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,058 - Go ahead. - Here it is. 368 00:12:54,068 --> 00:12:56,337 When a person is accused of a crime in America, 369 00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,773 the law says that we have a right to a trial 370 00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:00,206 with a jury of our peers. 371 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,710 But that wasn't possible for black people, 372 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:05,011 who weren't even allowed to serve on juries 373 00:13:05,044 --> 00:13:07,847 until the Supreme Court stepped in in 1880. 374 00:13:09,415 --> 00:13:12,318 But even after we could legally serve on juries... 375 00:13:13,986 --> 00:13:17,058 prosecutors came up with ways to keep us off. 376 00:13:17,091 --> 00:13:18,491 - No facial hair. - Oh! 377 00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:20,160 No folded arms. 378 00:13:20,193 --> 00:13:22,029 - "He's wearing too many chains." - What?! 379 00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,864 - Too much athletic wear. - Come on. 380 00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:26,499 Which are all code for "too black." 381 00:13:27,568 --> 00:13:30,037 That means black defendants facing juries 382 00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,972 filled with people who are purposefully not their peers, 383 00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:36,876 people who don't understand their lives, their experiences, 384 00:13:36,909 --> 00:13:40,246 and can't see themselves in the defendant's shoes. 385 00:13:40,279 --> 00:13:42,249 This messed-up system is one of the reasons 386 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:46,020 why 1 in 17 white men go to jail, 387 00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:48,556 but for black men, it's one in three. 388 00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:51,659 Wow. One in three? 389 00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,015 - Mm-hmm. - That is incredible. 390 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:53,906 Hm. 391 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,451 So which one of you three lied on your résumé? 392 00:13:56,484 --> 00:13:57,954 - Oh. - Ooh. Okay. 393 00:13:57,986 --> 00:13:59,321 Man, I'm gonna go ahead and step outside. 394 00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:00,389 You know what? This never worked. 395 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,890 I'm gonna take this to maintenance. 396 00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:03,292 - I'm not even at work today. - One's out, two's out. 397 00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:04,994 I guess it's the only guy left. 398 00:14:05,027 --> 00:14:07,564 I'm... I'm deceased. 399 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:11,400 So, back at home, the cursing experiment was under way... 400 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,569 with definitely mixed results. 401 00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,505 [Bleep] 402 00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:16,406 Whoo! 403 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,006 So good. 404 00:14:18,039 --> 00:14:19,841 Get up! 405 00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:21,010 Are you kidding? 406 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,822 No [bleep] No [bleep] 407 00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,561 Mm. 408 00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:29,996 Ha, king me, b-hole! 409 00:14:30,029 --> 00:14:33,399 It's butthole [bleep] And I'm red. 410 00:14:38,672 --> 00:14:41,341 I don't know, Ruby. 411 00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:44,378 I think this whole swearing thing was a terrible idea. 412 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:46,913 Show me one of your ideas that wasn't terrible, 413 00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:49,249 and I'll show you an idea that wasn't yours. 414 00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:50,353 Hey. Ha, yeah. 415 00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:51,831 I think I should shut it down. 416 00:14:51,864 --> 00:14:52,999 Well, here's your chance. 417 00:14:53,032 --> 00:14:54,435 - Hey. - Hey. 418 00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:56,036 Sweetheart, we need to talk. 419 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,171 Agreed. 420 00:14:57,204 --> 00:15:00,174 My history teacher is being a total [bleep] 421 00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:02,508 - She wouldn't give us an extra 10 minutes to... - Wait a minute. 422 00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:07,647 Are you... sharing the details of your day with me? 423 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,216 I was about to... until you made it weird. 424 00:15:10,249 --> 00:15:11,017 Oh. 425 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,485 N... Oh, well. 426 00:15:12,518 --> 00:15:14,821 Diane, you have leaves in your hair again. 427 00:15:14,854 --> 00:15:16,022 What's going on, baby? 428 00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:18,025 It's because Casey called me her best friend 429 00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:19,025 in front of everyone. 430 00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:20,294 Friendship makes me look weak. 431 00:15:20,326 --> 00:15:21,327 - Oh. - Oh. 432 00:15:21,361 --> 00:15:22,496 So I just had to drop her. 433 00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:23,463 Oh. 434 00:15:23,497 --> 00:15:24,732 That's... That's good to know. 435 00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:26,734 Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you. 436 00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:27,763 Bye, Mom. 437 00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:30,137 I was gonna tell you I'm going to Seth's house, 438 00:15:30,147 --> 00:15:32,405 but I'm really going to Megan's to fool around. 439 00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,974 - Okay. - Don't worry... top stuff only. 440 00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:36,175 Only the top. 441 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:37,209 Okay. 442 00:15:38,911 --> 00:15:40,012 Ruby, did you see that? 443 00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:43,050 My children are opening up to me. 444 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:46,964 Only because you agreed to my genius swearing idea. 445 00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:49,934 You're welcome [bleep] 446 00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:52,202 Guilty. 447 00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:55,705 Since Antoine wasn't going to get a jury of his peers, 448 00:15:55,739 --> 00:15:59,509 I had to make up for it by being a jury of his peer. 449 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,811 Not guilty. 450 00:16:00,844 --> 00:16:03,314 And again we are stuck at 11 to 1. 451 00:16:04,513 --> 00:16:07,618 11 to 1... again. 452 00:16:09,016 --> 00:16:10,806 Dre, we know it's you. 453 00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,590 Please don't keep us here all day. 454 00:16:14,023 --> 00:16:16,257 Okay. Fine. 455 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,069 Let's say it's me. 456 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,572 All right, n-now hear me out. 457 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:22,640 After we closely look at both sides 458 00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:24,643 and you still think this kid is guilty, 459 00:16:24,675 --> 00:16:26,378 I will no longer hold you hostage, 460 00:16:26,411 --> 00:16:27,679 and vote guilty with you. 461 00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:29,515 That's okay. 462 00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:30,482 - Yeah? - Why not? 463 00:16:30,516 --> 00:16:31,751 - Okay. - Wait. 464 00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:33,852 Is he holding us hostage? 465 00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:40,659 But it's pretty tough to argue eyewitness testimony, 466 00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:41,694 don't you think? 467 00:16:41,727 --> 00:16:43,896 Yeah, you're right about that one. 468 00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:45,865 You know, why don't we just vote now 469 00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:47,899 so we can get home to our loved ones? 470 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:50,338 - Beautiful family. - Mm-hmm. 471 00:16:50,348 --> 00:16:51,216 Is that the Bahamas? 472 00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:53,817 Aha! That's not my family. 473 00:16:53,851 --> 00:16:56,321 That's not even me. That's Tyler Perry. 474 00:16:56,354 --> 00:16:58,189 All right, you just confused two black people 475 00:16:58,221 --> 00:16:59,723 that don't even really look alike. 476 00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:07,231 Well, what the hell was the kid doing with $500 in his pocket 477 00:17:07,265 --> 00:17:09,066 when he doesn't even have car? 478 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,136 Come on. 479 00:17:11,169 --> 00:17:14,974 Man, I probably have $2,500 in my pocket. 480 00:17:14,984 --> 00:17:16,721 Because I don't trust banks like that, 481 00:17:16,753 --> 00:17:18,121 after the financial crisis. 482 00:17:18,154 --> 00:17:19,757 I don't, either. 483 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,326 But look at the picture he posted after the crime. 484 00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,294 He's wearing the stolen hoodie. 485 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:27,097 #ComeUp. 486 00:17:28,865 --> 00:17:30,500 Okay, look, that could be n... 487 00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:32,235 I mean, that doesn't necessarily mean that... 488 00:17:32,269 --> 00:17:33,804 No, that's... that's enough already. 489 00:17:33,837 --> 00:17:35,439 Okay, look. Do we even have the right 490 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,074 to look at his photos like that? 491 00:17:37,106 --> 00:17:38,643 I mean, we don't even have a search warrant. 492 00:17:38,675 --> 00:17:40,644 - Come on, guys. - We don't need a warrant for that. 493 00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:43,079 Oh, Dre. We heard you out. 494 00:17:43,113 --> 00:17:45,149 And while the kid seems decent, 495 00:17:45,182 --> 00:17:48,519 I think we can all agree... this is pretty damning evidence. 496 00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,087 - Yeah. - Yeah, it is. 497 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,955 Look, man, if you're gonna commit a crime, 498 00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,125 be smart enough to make your profile private. 499 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,291 - Everyone.... - Man: Plain as day. 500 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,028 This has been a long day. 501 00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,762 Why don't we just go sleep on it, 502 00:17:58,796 --> 00:18:00,364 and we'll vote first thing in the morning? 503 00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:01,999 "Scandal" is one tonight. 504 00:18:02,031 --> 00:18:03,500 Let the kid watch one more "Scandal." 505 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:06,102 Sounds good. 506 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:14,517 Oh, check this out. And this is a skirt I keep in my backpack 507 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,252 to change into after you drop me off at school. 508 00:18:16,284 --> 00:18:17,352 Oh, my God. 509 00:18:17,386 --> 00:18:19,088 - But that's so short. - Mm-hmm. 510 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,157 - I-I-I didn't buy you that. - Oh, no. 511 00:18:21,189 --> 00:18:22,891 Sky stole it from the mall while I stood lookout. 512 00:18:22,925 --> 00:18:23,893 It was so funny. 513 00:18:23,926 --> 00:18:26,162 Oh, my God! 514 00:18:26,195 --> 00:18:27,330 - Get out of my face. - But... 515 00:18:27,362 --> 00:18:29,264 - No! - What the [bleep] Mom? 516 00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:31,234 I'm just being honest with you. 517 00:18:31,266 --> 00:18:32,368 Ho... Okay. 518 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,035 This honesty is way too much. 519 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,671 A half an hour ago, 520 00:18:35,704 --> 00:18:37,956 Junior told me why he goes through so much lotion. 521 00:18:37,966 --> 00:18:39,435 Ugh! God! 522 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:42,071 I do not want to know my children this well. 523 00:18:42,103 --> 00:18:43,671 Well, then, you should've listened to me 524 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,674 when I told you not to let them curse. 525 00:18:45,706 --> 00:18:47,575 What? But then you s... 526 00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:49,178 - Own it, Rainbow. - I... 527 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,912 I finally figured it out. 528 00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:53,014 - Oh. - [Bleep] 529 00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,082 Boobies! 530 00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:55,376 Okay, okay. No, don't worry about it. 531 00:18:55,386 --> 00:18:57,185 I got this. Come here, little boy! 532 00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:59,321 Come here! I'll kill you! 533 00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:00,355 I'll kill you! 534 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,686 So, I'd slept on it. 535 00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:04,198 And, yeah, Antoine was guilty. 536 00:19:04,232 --> 00:19:06,368 But I felt good that at least I had fought 537 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,236 for him to have a fair trial, 538 00:19:08,268 --> 00:19:09,570 and that's something. 539 00:19:09,603 --> 00:19:11,072 Guilty. 540 00:19:11,104 --> 00:19:12,573 Not guilty? 541 00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:14,142 Again? 542 00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:15,844 For the love of God, Dre. 543 00:19:15,877 --> 00:19:17,412 - I don't want to die here. - Man: Come on, Dre. 544 00:19:17,445 --> 00:19:18,513 But it wasn't me this time. 545 00:19:18,545 --> 00:19:20,081 No, seriously! I really mean it! 546 00:19:20,113 --> 00:19:21,149 It wasn't me! 547 00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:22,717 Hey, it was me. 548 00:19:22,749 --> 00:19:24,051 - What? - What? 549 00:19:24,084 --> 00:19:26,254 And I'd like to take another look at that hoodie, please. 550 00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:28,009 [Jury members groaning] 551 00:19:28,019 --> 00:19:30,189 Sorry, but last night, I-I don't know what it was, 552 00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:31,323 but something made me feel 553 00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:33,191 like we hadn't given this guy a fair shake 554 00:19:33,225 --> 00:19:36,428 and we needed to make sure we didn't rush through our decision. 555 00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:39,297 Uh, that's what I said. Like, verbatim. 556 00:19:39,331 --> 00:19:41,367 Dre, please. Bernice has the floor. 557 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,801 - But... - Bernice: I did some research online, 558 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,470 and I found out this particular Givenchy hoodie 559 00:19:45,504 --> 00:19:47,339 is from two seasons ago. 560 00:19:47,371 --> 00:19:50,109 There's no way the Givenchy boutique would carry it. 561 00:19:50,141 --> 00:19:52,844 Jerome is innocent. 562 00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,280 His name is Antoine! 563 00:19:54,313 --> 00:19:55,980 Bernice, you are a hero. 564 00:19:56,014 --> 00:19:58,050 - Well... - You saved Jerome from jail. 565 00:19:58,083 --> 00:19:59,552 I'd hate to think what would've happened to him 566 00:19:59,584 --> 00:20:01,653 if there hadn't been someone looking out for that kid. 567 00:20:01,687 --> 00:20:03,889 But I saved An... Jerome. 568 00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:05,323 Show of hands. Not guilty? 569 00:20:05,356 --> 00:20:06,357 Come on. 570 00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:07,293 Really? 571 00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:09,327 Dre? 572 00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:10,462 Really, Dre? 573 00:20:12,029 --> 00:20:13,565 All right, I'll go tell the bailiff. 574 00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:16,335 And I'm gonna take you out for a nice steak and Midori sour. 575 00:20:19,237 --> 00:20:21,506 But those are my favorite things. 576 00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:22,540 Score. 577 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:28,071 What the [bleep] Mom? You're supposed to dry my stuff on low heat 578 00:20:28,081 --> 00:20:29,850 - so this doesn't happen. - My God. 579 00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,351 Oh, all right. Okay, sweetie. 580 00:20:31,383 --> 00:20:33,687 I'll... I'll know for next time! 581 00:20:33,719 --> 00:20:35,122 - Oh, my God. - Hey. 582 00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:36,722 - How was school? - I don't know. 583 00:20:36,756 --> 00:20:37,990 Oh. Okay. 584 00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:39,868 Oh! How's Megan? 585 00:20:39,878 --> 00:20:40,960 - Haven't seen her. - Ah. 586 00:20:40,994 --> 00:20:43,563 The lipstick on his face says otherwise. 587 00:20:43,595 --> 00:20:44,964 Yes, it does. 588 00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:49,135 But if I have to choose between Seth and them, 589 00:20:49,169 --> 00:20:51,069 I'm okay not knowing my kids. 590 00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:53,539 Oh, uh, then it's, um 591 00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:55,008 probably a bad time to tell you 592 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,710 that Diane is in a fight club. 593 00:20:57,744 --> 00:21:00,547 Yeah.