1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:01,814
Nothing makes you feel like

2
00:00:01,824 --> 00:00:03,626
the world is full of possibilities

3
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,366
like a brand-new baby.

4
00:00:05,376 --> 00:00:06,872
And you wonder,

5
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,056
what are the paths they'll choose?

6
00:00:09,066 --> 00:00:10,399
Will they be a scientist...

7
00:00:10,501 --> 00:00:11,700
or a rock star?

8
00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:13,001
A CEO...

9
00:00:13,070 --> 00:00:14,794
or a farmer?

10
00:00:14,804 --> 00:00:16,371
Will they be a Clippers fan...

11
00:00:16,473 --> 00:00:17,805
or dead to me?

12
00:00:17,874 --> 00:00:20,908
Yep, as parents,
you can't wait to find out

13
00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:22,243
who your baby's gonna be.

14
00:00:22,312 --> 00:00:24,779
And it all starts with
the first unknown...

15
00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:26,981
boy or girl?

16
00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,616
There's only one thing more exciting

17
00:00:28,685 --> 00:00:30,318
than learning the sex of your baby...

18
00:00:30,387 --> 00:00:31,653
I got it! I have it.

19
00:00:31,755 --> 00:00:33,187
Uh-huh.

20
00:00:33,256 --> 00:00:35,223
And that's learning it through cake.

21
00:00:35,325 --> 00:00:36,524
We have a kind of weird request.

22
00:00:36,626 --> 00:00:39,365
Depending on what is
inside this envelope,

23
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,895
we want you to make a special cake

24
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:42,497
that's either blue or
pink on the inside...

25
00:00:42,565 --> 00:00:44,314
Come on, Bow.
Get to the point, all right?

26
00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:45,323
We need a sex cake.

27
00:00:45,425 --> 00:00:46,992
- What?
- Uh, no, no, no, no.

28
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:49,694
We're not perverts.
We are just having a party

29
00:00:49,796 --> 00:00:51,930
to reveal the gender of our baby.

30
00:00:52,032 --> 00:00:52,931
Oh!

31
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You need a "Gender reveal cake."

32
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- Yes!
- Yes.

33
00:00:55,369 --> 00:00:57,502
- Yeah, we do them all the time.
- Oh, my God. That's so much fun.

34
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- Great. So, you can do this?
- Yes.

35
00:00:59,039 --> 00:01:01,052
Oh, yeah, we can bake any
kind of cake you want.

36
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Just as long as it's
not for a gay wedding.

37
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:04,901
I s...

38
00:01:09,357 --> 00:01:10,613
- I'm taking this.
- Come on, Bow.

39
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All right, before I do this,

40
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You don't discriminate against people

41
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based on race, gender,
or sexual orientation,

42
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do you?

43
00:01:18,781 --> 00:01:20,714
Do not like French-Canadians.

44
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Ah.

45
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:23,717
- I can live with that.
- All right.

46
00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:25,663
We need a sex cake.

47
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Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

48
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So, babe...

49
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,346
Yep?

50
00:01:32,356 --> 00:01:34,361
I had the baby dream.

51
00:01:34,463 --> 00:01:36,063
- Oh!
- So, remember?

52
00:01:36,165 --> 00:01:38,031
I had the girl dream before Zoey,

53
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:39,933
and the boy dream before Junior,

54
00:01:40,035 --> 00:01:41,168
and then with the twins,

55
00:01:41,270 --> 00:01:43,403
I had the boy dream and
then that lucid nightmare.

56
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Yes. Okay. What did you dream?

57
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A girl.

58
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Oh.

59
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Really?

60
00:01:50,245 --> 00:01:51,545
See? I knew it was a girl.

61
00:01:52,881 --> 00:01:55,982
A baby girl always steals
her mother's beauty.

62
00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:58,235
- And look at your wife. She's a mess.
- Oh, come on.

63
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Skin all pale,

64
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eyes somehow both puffy and sunken.

65
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Wow, I see that.

66
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- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

67
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Thank you, Ruby.

68
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But I'm not gonna let you get to me.

69
00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:13,524
I'm just happy that I
get to name our baby.

70
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,319
- If it's a girl...
- Mm-hmm.

71
00:02:15,329 --> 00:02:16,794
And if it's a boy, I get to name him.

72
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:18,195
- Mm-hmm.
- That was the deal.

73
00:02:18,297 --> 00:02:20,598
So, I get to name our baby girl.

74
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,601
And from the looks of you,
she's gonna be very healthy.

75
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She might even be immortal...

76
00:02:25,538 --> 00:02:27,905
An immortal supermodel.

77
00:02:28,007 --> 00:02:29,540
Yeah.

78
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,344
Ugh, Doug's asking me

79
00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:34,745
about Valentine's Day again.

80
00:02:34,847 --> 00:02:36,380
Delete.

81
00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:37,715
Shelly, is it just me,

82
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or are guys at school
super thirsty this year?

83
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Oh, senior guys are the worst.

84
00:02:42,555 --> 00:02:44,088
Let's just skip Valentine's Day.

85
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That's an awesome plan.

86
00:02:45,591 --> 00:02:48,159
Let's do this Ladies' Valentine's Day.

87
00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:52,096
You and me... well, us.
No new friends, am I right?

88
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Sorry, little mama,
you're a little too young.

89
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And completely creepy.

90
00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:59,136
Like, when did you
even get into my room?

91
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I'm positive that door was locked.

92
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Well, good day,

93
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and thank you for the feedback.

94
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I'll keep the 14th open just in case.

95
00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:09,013
Yeah.

96
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:13,884
World record attempt... take nine.

97
00:03:19,726 --> 00:03:21,092
Boom. Did you get that?

98
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:22,860
Uh, no.

99
00:03:22,962 --> 00:03:24,962
- I mean, it's really cute.
- Oh, hey!

100
00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:26,597
Shelly! Hugs?

101
00:03:26,699 --> 00:03:28,766
Aww, could you get any cuter?

102
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:29,967
Nope.

103
00:03:30,069 --> 00:03:31,936
- What are you up to?
- You know, just chilling.

104
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:33,304
What's up, Junior?

105
00:03:33,406 --> 00:03:34,638
Pretty big day.

106
00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:36,807
Trying to set the world
record on Sir Rubik's.

107
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Oh, he's... He's just chilling, too.

108
00:03:38,578 --> 00:03:40,845
Rubik's Cube? You good at this?

109
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I'm all right.

110
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,682
I bet you're better than all right.

111
00:03:44,784 --> 00:03:47,351
♪

112
00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:48,986
I'll see you later.

113
00:03:49,088 --> 00:03:50,921
Y... You know what that was, right?

114
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,323
You know I don't.

115
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:53,390
She's feeling you.

116
00:03:53,493 --> 00:03:54,792
What?

117
00:03:54,894 --> 00:03:56,694
Pretty sure she was just being polite,

118
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even though I specifically
told her not to.

119
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But, trust me, I know Shelly,

120
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,766
and you're not her type.

121
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:03,067
I'm still not convinced

122
00:04:03,169 --> 00:04:05,736
you're not gonna get pig's
blood thrown on you at prom.

123
00:04:05,838 --> 00:04:07,471
Like they'd do that to me again.

124
00:04:07,573 --> 00:04:10,040
Hey, Shelly just texted you.

125
00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:12,076
Good luck on that world record.

126
00:04:12,178 --> 00:04:14,278
Check out this Rubik's Cube tutorial.

127
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,030
"Winky-kiss emoji."

128
00:04:16,119 --> 00:04:16,881
Wow.

129
00:04:16,983 --> 00:04:18,949
She is really polite.

130
00:04:21,354 --> 00:04:23,587
You're looking a little off today, Dre.

131
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You okay?

132
00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:26,023
You got the 'itis?

133
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:27,291
No.

134
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,059
And never say that again.

135
00:04:29,162 --> 00:04:30,728
Bow thinks that we're gonna have a girl,

136
00:04:30,830 --> 00:04:31,929
so I'm a little bummed out.

137
00:04:32,031 --> 00:04:33,697
- Ohh.
- Uh, yeah, of course you are,

138
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,232
- 'cause girls are the worst.
- Mm-hmm.

139
00:04:35,334 --> 00:04:37,501
Everything's "No,
Josh." "Leave me alone, Josh."

140
00:04:37,603 --> 00:04:39,136
- "We're cousins, Josh." Or...
- Yeah, or like,

141
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,337
"How did you get in here, Josh?"

142
00:04:40,439 --> 00:04:42,106
Or "What is that you're
holding in your hand, Josh?"

143
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,475
- Or like, "I have GPS on my phone, Josh."
- Okay.

144
00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:46,110
- I'm right there with you, brother.
- Cool.

145
00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:48,078
Look, the proof that boys are better

146
00:04:48,181 --> 00:04:49,547
is sitting right here.

147
00:04:49,649 --> 00:04:51,382
Do you see a woman in this room?

148
00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:52,583
Not a one.

149
00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:53,886
Again...

150
00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:56,320
I'm a corporate evaluator
here to judge productivity

151
00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:59,323
and ultimately whether or
not you should work here.

152
00:04:59,392 --> 00:05:00,825
Merr-merr-merr corporate.

153
00:05:02,328 --> 00:05:03,394
Oh, let me just...

154
00:05:03,496 --> 00:05:04,695
What, uh... What are you...

155
00:05:04,764 --> 00:05:05,729
What are you writing down there?

156
00:05:05,798 --> 00:05:08,032
What do you think I'm writing down?

157
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,166
Anyone else?

158
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,434
Not me.

159
00:05:10,503 --> 00:05:12,336
I think you're intelligent, competent,

160
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:15,321
and I am completely unattracted to you.

161
00:05:15,471 --> 00:05:16,499
Mm.

162
00:05:16,509 --> 00:05:18,475
- But you can still get it.
- Oh, man.

163
00:05:18,544 --> 00:05:20,293
What's wrong with me?

164
00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:21,669
What's wrong with me?

165
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,171
- I... I... I don't know.
- W... W... Why do I think like that?

166
00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:24,393
Dre, as you can see,

167
00:05:24,755 --> 00:05:27,148
men are just monsters, you know?

168
00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:28,424
And let's face it,

169
00:05:28,492 --> 00:05:30,092
it's your daughters that
are gonna take care of you

170
00:05:30,194 --> 00:05:31,093
when you're old.

171
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:32,728
Oh, my God.

172
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,597
You're right.

173
00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:36,699
Zoey's gonna take care of me.

174
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,234
And when it's time for you to go,

175
00:05:38,302 --> 00:05:40,069
Diane will put an air
bubble in your I.V.

176
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:41,770
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

177
00:05:41,873 --> 00:05:44,173
All right, look,
Diane is a sweet, good girl.

178
00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:45,641
And if I'm ever in a bar fight,

179
00:05:45,743 --> 00:05:47,409
there's no one I'd rather have than her.

180
00:05:47,478 --> 00:05:48,410
Yeah, that's true.

181
00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:49,812
She... she will get down with you.

182
00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,544
Okay, stop it.

183
00:05:51,554 --> 00:05:53,488
Your sons are your pride and joy.

184
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:54,422
They carry you're name.

185
00:05:54,524 --> 00:05:55,757
They're your little warriors.

186
00:05:55,859 --> 00:05:56,724
Thanks, Papa.

187
00:05:56,826 --> 00:05:57,925
And I'm sure that if my brothers

188
00:05:57,994 --> 00:05:59,560
were not stuck in that
Ecuadorian embassy in London,

189
00:05:59,629 --> 00:06:00,528
they would also agree.

190
00:06:00,597 --> 00:06:01,763
Mm. Bingo.

191
00:06:01,831 --> 00:06:03,097
They're in a lot of trouble.

192
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:04,966
After listening to these idiots,

193
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,949
maybe having a girl was the way to go.

194
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,304
Look in the mirror... Look deep.

195
00:06:10,314 --> 00:06:11,346
What do you see?

196
00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:13,015
A level 7 wizard.

197
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:14,316
Look deeper.

198
00:06:14,418 --> 00:06:15,550
No way I'm level 8!

199
00:06:15,653 --> 00:06:17,319
I can't control fire.

200
00:06:17,388 --> 00:06:20,289
Junior, no one around here
wants me to tell you this,

201
00:06:20,357 --> 00:06:22,958
but you're really starting
to become something.

202
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:26,028
- I am?
- Nice face, smooth skin...

203
00:06:26,096 --> 00:06:27,663
Really starting to fill out that frame.

204
00:06:27,731 --> 00:06:29,531
I have thought about wearing a tank top.

205
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,742
I've thought about you
wearing a tank top!

206
00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:34,119
Bruh, Shelly's into you.

207
00:06:34,221 --> 00:06:35,387
You've just got to talk to her.

208
00:06:35,489 --> 00:06:36,621
I can't. I...

209
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:39,524
But that guy can...
The one in the mirror.

210
00:06:39,593 --> 00:06:41,026
Can you do that?

211
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,062
I think I can.

212
00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,464
No.

213
00:06:45,532 --> 00:06:47,833
I think he can.

214
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,436
What's up, girl?

215
00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:52,971
You just gonna keep walking by my room

216
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,606
looking all good?

217
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,675
Uh, what's up, Junior?

218
00:06:56,777 --> 00:06:59,706
Just counting my birthday
money, you know.

219
00:06:59,716 --> 00:07:01,449
What is happening right now?

220
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,384
What you talking about, Zoey?

221
00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:05,419
It's getting hot in here, am I right?

222
00:07:05,521 --> 00:07:06,999
Oh, my G... Mom!

223
00:07:07,581 --> 00:07:08,923
Is that a shark on your tank top?

224
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:11,425
Great white. Got hella teeth.

225
00:07:11,527 --> 00:07:13,761
They got these down at
the Long Beach Aquarium.

226
00:07:13,863 --> 00:07:15,363
You know, if you ever want to roll,

227
00:07:15,465 --> 00:07:17,198
my family's got a membership down there,

228
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:18,232
which includes a guest,

229
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:19,634
so that's nothing.

230
00:07:19,736 --> 00:07:21,903
Shelly, I am so sorry. Come on.

231
00:07:21,971 --> 00:07:23,704
Yeah, Shelly, come on.

232
00:07:23,773 --> 00:07:25,706
"Boy, bye." Am I right?

233
00:07:25,808 --> 00:07:27,575
Yeah.

234
00:07:27,677 --> 00:07:29,867
Shark tank top?

235
00:07:31,447 --> 00:07:33,981
So I was 100% Team Girl now.

236
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,581
I'd ditched my dreams of having a boy,

237
00:07:36,591 --> 00:07:38,191
like Kevin Durant ditched the Thunder.

238
00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:39,392
Team Girl! Mm.

239
00:07:39,461 --> 00:07:41,594
All right, everybody, gather around!

240
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,863
Let's find out the gender of this baby

241
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:47,167
before Rainbow's puffy ankles
require her to lie down.

242
00:07:47,269 --> 00:07:49,335
- Come on.
- Hey, baby.

243
00:07:49,437 --> 00:07:50,370
Yes? You ready for this?

244
00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:51,538
Oh, I'm very ready. I'm so excited!

245
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:52,539
Okay, ready?

246
00:07:52,641 --> 00:07:53,640
- You ready?
- Mm-hmm.

247
00:07:53,708 --> 00:07:56,676
Three, two, one...

248
00:08:01,149 --> 00:08:02,715
Blue?

249
00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:03,650
Wha... Uh...

250
00:08:03,752 --> 00:08:05,485
- Blue.
- Blue?

251
00:08:05,587 --> 00:08:06,920
- Blue!
- Yeah...

252
00:08:07,022 --> 00:08:08,254
It's a boy!

253
00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,323
- Yes! Yes!
- Okay.

254
00:08:10,425 --> 00:08:13,159
Dre, I thought
you were "100% Team Girl."

255
00:08:13,261 --> 00:08:15,261
Why would I want that, huh?

256
00:08:15,363 --> 00:08:16,796
Oh! Now I get to finally have

257
00:08:16,898 --> 00:08:18,665
the son I always wanted but never got!

258
00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:20,400
Yes!

259
00:08:20,502 --> 00:08:22,101
Oh, you are the one, son.

260
00:08:22,204 --> 00:08:23,803
You are the one!

261
00:08:24,906 --> 00:08:26,005
DeVonté.

262
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,608
- Yeah! Yes!
- DeVonté?

263
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:30,744
- ♪ Hoo, yeah ♪
- DeVonté?

264
00:08:30,835 --> 00:08:32,335
So...

265
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,548
You're not serious

266
00:08:34,617 --> 00:08:36,416
about naming our kid DeVonté, are you?

267
00:08:36,485 --> 00:08:38,227
- Yes.
- No.

268
00:08:38,237 --> 00:08:40,894
What exactly is your
problem with that name?

269
00:08:40,904 --> 00:08:42,838
It's unconventional, Dre.

270
00:08:42,906 --> 00:08:45,440
I grew up as "Rainbow," okay?

271
00:08:45,509 --> 00:08:46,815
"Rainbow." That was not easy.

272
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:47,791
Yeah, that's because Rainbow

273
00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:49,092
is the name that white people...

274
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:51,023
give cocker spaniels.

275
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:53,467
- Stop it!
- DeVonté is a great name.

276
00:08:53,536 --> 00:08:55,335
It has cultural significance!

277
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,137
"DeVonté" is the name

278
00:08:57,206 --> 00:09:00,140
- of the least important member of Jodeci.
- No!

279
00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:02,142
The least important member of Jodeci

280
00:09:02,211 --> 00:09:03,730
- was Mr. Dalvin...
- No.

281
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,880
- And you know that.
- No, I don't!

282
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:08,078
There's a different reason

283
00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:09,979
that you don't like the name "DeVonté."

284
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,418
- What?
- Yep.

285
00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:13,283
It's because it's too black.

286
00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:15,352
- Thank you, Mama.
- Mm-hmm.

287
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:16,519
And she's right.

288
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:18,655
Ah. Thank you, Mama.

289
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,091
Oh, my God. That doesn't even sound
right coming out of your mouth.

290
00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:22,392
- Well, I felt it.
- Listen, listen, listen.

291
00:09:22,494 --> 00:09:24,461
Those made-up names are a travesty.

292
00:09:24,529 --> 00:09:26,830
You need to give that
boy a strong name...

293
00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:28,765
Something powerful, biblical.

294
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,034
Something that won't give
away the fact that he's black

295
00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:32,669
until you hear him talking on the phone.

296
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,504
Now, you know we can
tell if somebody's black

297
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:35,538
on the phone.

298
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:36,873
- Yeah, we can always tell.
- You can tell.

299
00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:37,941
- That's true. Mm-hmm.
- How about "Michael,"

300
00:09:38,043 --> 00:09:39,542
or "Christopher."

301
00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:41,444
Hell, I'd even take a "Dustin."

302
00:09:41,513 --> 00:09:43,847
Just nothing too ghetto, y'all.

303
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:46,049
Okay, well, I want a strong, Black name.

304
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,217
Oh, boy.

305
00:09:47,285 --> 00:09:50,032
Okay, because we've given
our kids White names,

306
00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:52,676
- and they've all ended up "Black-ish."
- What?

307
00:09:52,745 --> 00:09:54,544
- Dre...
- I just want at least one of my kids

308
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:55,445
to end up being Black,

309
00:09:55,547 --> 00:09:57,080
- so I could love it.
- Hey...

310
00:09:58,150 --> 00:09:59,529
- What?
- Oh.

311
00:09:59,539 --> 00:10:00,989
We were just coming downstairs

312
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,624
to see if there was any cake left.

313
00:10:02,693 --> 00:10:05,593
But I guess we'll just
eat our sadness instead.

314
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:08,430
Hi, everybody.

315
00:10:08,532 --> 00:10:10,932
My wife's dumb dream was wrong.

316
00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:12,300
We are having a boy.

317
00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:14,703
- Oh!
- Congratulations!

318
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:16,638
Yeah, so smoke up

319
00:10:16,707 --> 00:10:19,574
in honor of my future son, DeVonté.

320
00:10:19,676 --> 00:10:21,642
- Oh, boy.
- Oh.

321
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,285
So you're doing that, huh?

322
00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:24,453
- What?
- Wow.

323
00:10:24,522 --> 00:10:25,621
You're not gonna even go, like,

324
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,489
"Vernon" or "Marcus" or "Leon"?

325
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:28,657
Just going straight to

326
00:10:28,726 --> 00:10:30,926
NFL free safety Black-name
territory, huh?

327
00:10:30,995 --> 00:10:32,328
I don't know about that name.

328
00:10:32,396 --> 00:10:33,595
If I'm on a plane and I hear

329
00:10:33,698 --> 00:10:34,596
"Welcome aboard,

330
00:10:34,699 --> 00:10:36,632
I'm your captain DeVonté Johnson,"

331
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,000
I'm no longer aboard.

332
00:10:38,069 --> 00:10:39,301
- Word?
- Word.

333
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:41,704
Dre, "DeVonté" sounds like
two names played chicken

334
00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:43,005
and nobody won.

335
00:10:43,107 --> 00:10:45,274
Yeah, you guys have
a lot of names like that,

336
00:10:45,284 --> 00:10:46,450
like, uh, "Shaniqua."

337
00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:47,952
- "Montell."
- "D'Brickashaw."

338
00:10:48,054 --> 00:10:51,856
- "NyQuil."
- Do you hear how racist you both sound?

339
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,257
- Those are real names.
- I was just making a point.

340
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:54,492
- Facts.
- Well, growing up,

341
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,761
I did have a friend by
the name of "NyQuil."

342
00:10:56,863 --> 00:10:58,529
He was always sniffing and sneezing,

343
00:10:58,598 --> 00:11:01,465
- coughing, stuffy-headed...
- You did not have a friend named that.

344
00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,701
Yeah. Sometimes I lie.

345
00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:05,565
Seriously, guys,
you don't get it, do you?

346
00:11:05,575 --> 00:11:06,637
You remember "Roots"?

347
00:11:06,739 --> 00:11:09,273
Remember? I'm proud
to say I never saw it.

348
00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:12,514
- Charlie, you saw "Roots," right?
- You know I did, Black man.

349
00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:13,757
Ah, no you didn't.

350
00:11:13,859 --> 00:11:15,492
- I did not, Black man.
- Okay, look.

351
00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:18,385
There's a scene in the
movie where Kunta Kinte...

352
00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:20,875
Oh, what is that?
I don't know what that is.

353
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,132
LeVar Burton?

354
00:11:22,234 --> 00:11:23,266
Oh, "Reading Rainbow."

355
00:11:23,369 --> 00:11:25,102
- The Black dude from "Star Trek."
- Yeah.

356
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:27,437
Okay, look, Levar Burton
is forced to give up

357
00:11:27,506 --> 00:11:29,290
his African name

358
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,733
and take the slave name "Toby."

359
00:11:31,802 --> 00:11:33,202
All right, Black people
were brought over here,

360
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,236
and when we were,

361
00:11:34,305 --> 00:11:35,771
we were robbed of our African names.

362
00:11:35,873 --> 00:11:37,873
- Hmm.
- So when we got the chance

363
00:11:37,975 --> 00:11:39,608
to take control of our destiny

364
00:11:39,677 --> 00:11:42,811
we started by taking
control of our names.

365
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,980
- Yes, sir.
- The Black Muslims did it first...

366
00:11:45,049 --> 00:11:47,482
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Muhammad Ali.

367
00:11:47,551 --> 00:11:49,817
- Yes, sir.
- Then there was the Black nationalists

368
00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:50,893
and Afrocentrists...

369
00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:53,295
Amiri Baraka, Kwame Ture.

370
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,897
- Mm.
- Over the years,

371
00:11:54,999 --> 00:11:56,365
we, uh, got a little creative,

372
00:11:56,434 --> 00:12:00,769
and you got the names
Michel'le and God Shammgod.

373
00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:02,070
- But...
- That's not real.

374
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:03,305
We are also the people

375
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,607
that gave you jazz and hip-hop,

376
00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:06,608
so back off.

377
00:12:06,710 --> 00:12:07,709
He's right.

378
00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:09,778
We have nothing to be ashamed of.

379
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,647
- Mnh-mnh.
- And for now on,

380
00:12:11,715 --> 00:12:14,283
you will know me by my true name...

381
00:12:14,351 --> 00:12:18,484
King Charlemagne Fatback
Telphy the Third.

382
00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:20,223
Oh, okay.

383
00:12:22,455 --> 00:12:23,616
Hey, Shelly.

384
00:12:23,626 --> 00:12:25,593
I just wanted to say I'm sorry

385
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:27,228
for the way I acted yesterday.

386
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,830
You're really beautiful
and cool and I'm not,

387
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:31,165
but I listened to my little brother,

388
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,400
and I shouldn't have,

389
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:33,734
because I've never seen him with a girl,

390
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,169
and I'm pretty sure he
sill wears Pull-ups.

391
00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:38,406
Oh, uh, those are just
disposable sleep shorts.

392
00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:41,609
Anyway, like I was saying, I'm sorry.

393
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,511
Now you can go back to ignoring me.

394
00:12:43,613 --> 00:12:45,324
Wait a second.

395
00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:48,983
What if I don't want to ignore you?

396
00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:50,718
What?! Shelly, ew!

397
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,087
And, Junior, don't you have to go text

398
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,550
your super-serious,
super-annoying girlfriend?

399
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,759
Girlfriend?

400
00:12:57,828 --> 00:12:58,860
Actually, we've talked,

401
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,429
and Megan's not into the words

402
00:13:00,531 --> 00:13:01,897
"Girlfriend" or "Boyfriend."

403
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,899
We don't believe in
labels and ownership.

404
00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:05,234
She's really cool.

405
00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,369
She's sounds cool.

406
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,304
That's like
sophomore-year-of-college stuff.

407
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:11,873
Or something two weirdos would do.

408
00:13:11,942 --> 00:13:14,343
- Anyway, I'm gonna go grab a soda.
- Wait!

409
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,484
Can I get one of those?

410
00:13:16,494 --> 00:13:17,613
I think we only have one.

411
00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:19,915
Oh, uh, um... Mom just bought some more.

412
00:13:19,984 --> 00:13:21,450
This is the last time

413
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,085
I'm going to save you.

414
00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:25,473
Come on, Shelly. I'll get us some soda.

415
00:13:25,483 --> 00:13:26,797
That's okay.

416
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,271
Junior's got it.

417
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,726
♪

418
00:13:32,447 --> 00:13:33,447
Let's go.

419
00:13:35,535 --> 00:13:37,301
I can't believe this.

420
00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:38,569
I can't believe it, either.

421
00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:40,604
How are you here?

422
00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:43,974
Guess it's time for a little
sisters-only Valentine's Day.

423
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:45,209
Come here, sister!

424
00:13:45,311 --> 00:13:46,443
Ahh.

425
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:50,080
Is this what hugging feels like?

426
00:13:50,149 --> 00:13:51,181
It's really nice.

427
00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:53,317
Why are you petting me?

428
00:13:53,419 --> 00:13:55,886
Working with racists
finally had paid off,

429
00:13:55,988 --> 00:13:57,388
because I knew, more than ever,

430
00:13:57,456 --> 00:14:00,617
I had to defend my choice
to give my son a Black name.

431
00:14:00,627 --> 00:14:03,954
Yeah, you don't want to
name our son DeVonté,

432
00:14:03,964 --> 00:14:06,131
because you're a racist. Dre...

433
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,200
Just like all the fools
at work, Donald Sterling,

434
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:09,735
and everyone at Ruth's Chris

435
00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:12,237
who assumes I like my steaks well done.

436
00:14:12,306 --> 00:14:13,572
You do like your steaks well done.

437
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,625
- That doesn't mean it's not racist.
- Okay.

438
00:14:15,635 --> 00:14:17,579
- Dre, can we just be honest here?
- Okay.

439
00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:19,826
There's some names that handcuff you.

440
00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:22,147
There's never gonna be a
President DeVonté Johnson.

441
00:14:22,216 --> 00:14:24,727
There was a President Barack Obama.

442
00:14:24,737 --> 00:14:26,804
People are more accepting
of African names, Dre.

443
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:28,072
- Oh.
- Everybody knows that.

444
00:14:28,174 --> 00:14:29,073
They sound dignified.

445
00:14:29,142 --> 00:14:30,341
"Chiwetel Ejiofor"?

446
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,475
- Yep.
- Ugh.

447
00:14:31,577 --> 00:14:32,743
You're so sure

448
00:14:32,845 --> 00:14:34,945
that America's gonna have
a problem with DeVonté?

449
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,781
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, well, I'm gonna get me a drink.

450
00:14:36,883 --> 00:14:38,182
Okay.

451
00:14:38,284 --> 00:14:42,019
Uh, could I have a large
Americano, please?

452
00:14:42,121 --> 00:14:43,988
- Can I get a name for that order?
- Sure you can.

453
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:45,122
It's...

454
00:14:45,578 --> 00:14:47,658
- DeVonté.
- Oh, my...

455
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,060
Thanks, DeVonté.
Your order will be right up.

456
00:14:49,128 --> 00:14:51,996
- Oh, boy.
- Thank you, Scarlett.

457
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,331
- Very nice... Very nice, Dre.
- Yes, it is.

458
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:56,971
- You know, I feel I say this a lot...
- Mm-hmm.

459
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,280
You're dead wrong.

460
00:14:58,382 --> 00:14:59,415
- Okay.
- Okay?

461
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,550
"Baby boy DeVonté" is
gonna be just fine.

462
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,219
Dre, can you look at this for me? Sure.

463
00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:04,119
Okay.

464
00:15:04,222 --> 00:15:06,322
I put two identical résumés

465
00:15:06,424 --> 00:15:08,591
- on this hiring website.
- Mm-hmm.

466
00:15:08,693 --> 00:15:11,827
"Michael Johnson" got
numerous responses.

467
00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:13,863
- Mm-hmm.
- "DeVonté Johnson"...

468
00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:17,499
One ad for a bail bonds.

469
00:15:17,602 --> 00:15:20,052
- I feel sad for you...
- Oh, my God.

470
00:15:20,062 --> 00:15:23,239
That your mind isn't
as open as our barista's.

471
00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:25,808
- Okay.
- I got a Vente for Dave?

472
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,177
Dave, Vente?

473
00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:30,913
Oh, it's a tea for Devon.

474
00:15:31,015 --> 00:15:32,114
Uh...

475
00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:33,649
Devon tea?

476
00:15:33,751 --> 00:15:34,751
Devon's tea?

477
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,086
Got a hot tea for Devon.

478
00:15:37,188 --> 00:15:38,754
Okay, look here, homey,
let's stop playing games.

479
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,522
You know this is mine.

480
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,224
All right. You ain't
got no Black friends?

481
00:15:42,326 --> 00:15:44,226
DeVonté. Jodeci. Look it up.

482
00:15:44,328 --> 00:15:46,862
And that was the last straw.

483
00:15:46,964 --> 00:15:48,464
The dreams of DeVonté

484
00:15:48,566 --> 00:15:52,268
were dashed by a barista named Augustus.

485
00:15:54,439 --> 00:15:56,007
French bread pizza?

486
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:58,076
I'm not allowed to use the big oven.

487
00:15:58,178 --> 00:15:59,911
You don't need to know the backstory,

488
00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:01,980
but be assured, it is justified.

489
00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:06,640
Oh! Help yourself to
some Coke or Diet Coke.

490
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:07,999
I put them in the fancy pitchers,

491
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,710
and now I don't know which is which.

492
00:16:10,863 --> 00:16:13,180
Why is she into him?

493
00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:14,489
He's attractive.

494
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,384
He's coming into his body.

495
00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:18,560
Please tell me you didn't tell him that.

496
00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:21,338
He deserves to know.

497
00:16:24,235 --> 00:16:26,336
It's not every day that
I get to introduce

498
00:16:26,346 --> 00:16:28,613
two amazing women to each other.

499
00:16:28,682 --> 00:16:30,281
Megan, this is Shelly.

500
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:31,683
Shelly, Megan.

501
00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:33,318
What is happening here?

502
00:16:33,386 --> 00:16:36,254
You invited your girlfriend
to our Valentine's Day?

503
00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:39,419
Yeah, because you said you
thought she sounded cool.

504
00:16:39,429 --> 00:16:42,041
- And, besides, she's not my girlfriend.
- I'm not?

505
00:16:42,394 --> 00:16:44,876
Yeah... because you said you
don't believe in ownership.

506
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,893
I only said that so you'd step up.

507
00:16:46,903 --> 00:16:49,210
Wait, wait. I'm being honest.

508
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,786
I like you, and I also like you,

509
00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:51,987
and I don't want to hide that.

510
00:16:52,056 --> 00:16:53,889
- Oh, so you're a player.
- No.

511
00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:55,891
I'm an honest man
standing in front of you

512
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,328
asking you both to go out with me.

513
00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:00,780
Separately. Except for tonight.

514
00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:02,530
I made pizza for three.

515
00:17:02,540 --> 00:17:04,220
- Yeah, I'm out.
- Me, too.

516
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:05,430
- Do you need a ride?
- Sure.

517
00:17:05,532 --> 00:17:06,931
Wait.

518
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,299
Where are you going?

519
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:10,401
I... I'm coming into my body.

520
00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:12,570
You're right.

521
00:17:12,639 --> 00:17:14,872
He was not ready to hear that.

522
00:17:19,365 --> 00:17:21,108
Anything interesting?

523
00:17:21,118 --> 00:17:22,547
Uh, nope.

524
00:17:22,615 --> 00:17:23,848
The only thing I came up with

525
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:26,918
is "Matthew," "Daniel," and "Kevin."

526
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,986
Oh. Those are nice.

527
00:17:29,055 --> 00:17:31,422
Yeah, but they don't mean
anything to me, babe.

528
00:17:31,524 --> 00:17:34,097
I like the name DeVonté.

529
00:17:34,107 --> 00:17:37,341
- Dre, this is our baby.
- Yes.

530
00:17:37,410 --> 00:17:39,310
You don't choose a name
to prove a point, Dre.

531
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:40,678
But, babe, I'm not trying to.

532
00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,948
Look, I grew up with the Ledariuses,

533
00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:46,517
the JaMarcuses, and the DeQuans.

534
00:17:46,619 --> 00:17:48,953
Hey, look, those names
reflect who we are.

535
00:17:49,022 --> 00:17:51,455
And the only reason we're
not naming our son DeVonté

536
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:54,992
is so people won't know
right away that he's Black.

537
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:58,127
I hate the fact that
when something is Black,

538
00:17:58,137 --> 00:18:00,384
the world sees it as bad.

539
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:04,210
- Me, too.
- So, if we're gonna raise our baby

540
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:06,086
to be proud of who he is,

541
00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:08,422
we can't be afraid to
give him a name that says

542
00:18:08,524 --> 00:18:10,057
"This is who I am."

543
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:12,292
Oh, wow.

544
00:18:16,398 --> 00:18:17,869
You're right.

545
00:18:18,109 --> 00:18:19,575
He shouldn't have to hide.

546
00:18:19,677 --> 00:18:20,709
And you know what?

547
00:18:20,778 --> 00:18:22,778
If he crosses paths with somebody

548
00:18:22,847 --> 00:18:24,379
- that judges him because of his name...
- Mm-hmm.

549
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:25,948
Then he doesn't want
that person in his life.

550
00:18:26,016 --> 00:18:27,295
- Exactly.
- No.

551
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,017
- Oh! Foot. Foot.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!

552
00:18:29,086 --> 00:18:30,419
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!
- Foot. Right there.

553
00:18:30,521 --> 00:18:32,855
Whoa-ha-ha-oo!

554
00:18:32,957 --> 00:18:34,556
Oh, look at baby DeVonté.

555
00:18:34,658 --> 00:18:36,592
Okay.

556
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,629
- If you want to name our baby...
- Mm-hmm...

557
00:18:40,731 --> 00:18:42,564
after the third fiddle

558
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:46,604
of the fifth most important
R&B band of the '90s...

559
00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:47,613
- Fifth?!
- The fifth.

560
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:49,115
- Fifth?!
- Boyz II Men...

561
00:18:49,184 --> 00:18:50,983
- Don't let it get you off track, Dre.
- Bell Biv DeVoe...

562
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:54,420
I love the name.

563
00:18:56,424 --> 00:18:58,725
Then I love the name.

564
00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:00,660
- Okay?
- Okay.

565
00:19:01,796 --> 00:19:03,296
- So, DeVonté?
- DeVonté.

566
00:19:03,398 --> 00:19:05,457
- Good.
- DeVonté.

567
00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:06,766
You know what? He's gonna be able
to do whatever he wants anyway,

568
00:19:06,868 --> 00:19:07,767
'cause he's our kid.

569
00:19:07,836 --> 00:19:09,736
He's gonna have my brain,

570
00:19:09,838 --> 00:19:12,939
and he's gonna have your...

571
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,507
- My looks?
- Ye... Uh...

572
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:16,973
- Your angry charm!
- You know what?

573
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:18,144
I am charming when I'm angry.

574
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:19,579
- The most.
- Ooh.

575
00:19:19,681 --> 00:19:20,847
All right.

576
00:19:20,949 --> 00:19:23,549
He will have the middle name Matthew.

577
00:19:23,651 --> 00:19:25,017
- Yes.
- Yes.

578
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,054
- Solid White-sounding backup.
- Very important.

579
00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:30,423
Ahh! DeVonté Matthew,

580
00:19:30,525 --> 00:19:32,558
I think you're my favorite!

581
00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,313
You are my favorite!

582
00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:35,426
Wow.

583
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:39,132
I expect that from him,
but from you Mother?

584
00:19:39,234 --> 00:19:40,533
Stings.

585
00:19:44,453 --> 00:19:47,055
Oh, there you are.
I got the movie ready.

586
00:19:47,065 --> 00:19:49,155
- Come on!
- Ohh, just got a text from Shelly.

587
00:19:49,165 --> 00:19:50,164
We're going out.

588
00:19:50,266 --> 00:19:51,465
Huh?

589
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:52,933
Sorry, kiddo. Next time.

590
00:19:53,035 --> 00:19:54,101
Uh...

591
00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:57,771
Stupid Diane.

592
00:19:57,874 --> 00:20:00,040
This is what you get for
opening up your heart.

593
00:20:00,142 --> 00:20:02,409
One is vanilla, one is french vanilla.

594
00:20:02,511 --> 00:20:04,078
I'm not sure which is which.

595
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:07,114
I bought them for a night
that will not materialize.

596
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:08,850
Thanks.

597
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,122
What are we watching?

598
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:13,387
Trampoline accidents. All right.

599
00:20:13,489 --> 00:20:14,989
Come here, daddy!

600
00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:16,457
Watch! Watch this!

601
00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:18,292
Ohh!

602
00:20:18,394 --> 00:20:19,873
Ohh. Ohh.

603
00:20:20,129 --> 00:20:23,359
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
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