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There are certain things
in life that are just true.
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Fact... the earth revolves around the sun.
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Fact... 2 times 2 is 4.
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And fact... black people
aren't Republicans.
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We just aren't.
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We vote for Democrats.
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And it's not just an Obama thing.
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He could have dropped-kick this baby,
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and I still would have voted for him.
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But black people also
overwhelmingly backed this guy,
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this guy...
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Get down, now.
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Hell, 91% of black
people voted for this guy.
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Fact... 91% of Walter Mondale's family
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didn't vote for Walter Mondale.
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Sure! The other side may
trot out a token black face
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every now and again, but
the fact of the matter
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is being a black Republican
is something we just don't do.
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Ah! Hey, son. How was your day?
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Oh, great. I joined
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the young Republicans club at school.
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Fact... Junior may not be a donkey,
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but he's definitely an ass.
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Black-ish
01x23
Elephant In The Room
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Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
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Lunch for you.
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Ah, lunch for you. Mm.
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Lunch for you.
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Ahh. Unh-unh.
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No free lunch for you.
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I don't want to offend your
Republican sensibilities
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by giving you a handout.
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I skipped breakfast.
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Yeah, well, if you wanna eat,
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pull yourself up by your bootstraps!
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Dre, what are you doing?
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Well, Bow, we have a problem.
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Junior... Is a Republican.
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Well, that's okay.
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What?
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So he wants to shop at banana Republic.
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They have a crazy generous return policy.
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No, no, no. You're not getting it.
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All right? He's a Republican.
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A notary public? That's a noble profession.
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We'll save us tons of time.
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- Bow!
- Hmm?
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A Republican.
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A member of the Irish Republican Army?
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- What the hell?
- Okay, okay.
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So if you gotta take down a
couple of fish and chips shops
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to be free of British rule,
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Dre, you gotta do what you gotta do.
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N-no! Ronald Reagan. Ann Coulter.
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Fox news. Tea party!
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Bow! Republican!
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- Republican?
- Yes!
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- No!
- Yes!
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- No!
- Yes!
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- No!
- Yes!
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We don't do that, Dre! We
are compassionate liberals
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who believe in tolerance,
acceptance, open...
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
But we're black, all right?
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That's all that matters. We're black.
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When did he start believing
that immigrants should go back
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across the border, that
evolution doesn't exist?!
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- They should.
- What?
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And it doesn't. That's
just proper thinking.
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- What?
- Now what's all this fuss about?
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Mom... Junior is a Republican.
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- Well, that's fine.
- What?
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He wants to be a publican.
A British tavern owner.
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Noble profession.
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No, mama. A Republican.
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What's that you say?
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You say "re"? As in Republican?!
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- Uh-huh! - No, he
can't be a Republican!
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Oh, my God!
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Not a Republican!
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Oh, Jesus! Black Jesus! Sarah Palin.
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You do know "nose in a book"
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is just an expression, right?
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What do you want?
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I think you might need glasses.
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You're squinting to read.
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And this morning, you
almost brushed your teeth
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with the hydrocortisone.
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I'm good.
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Dad! Zoe needs glasses!
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Don't listen to her. I can see fine, Dad.
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- Um... It's mommy.
- I knew that.
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And I'm gonna make an appointment
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with the eye doctor for next week.
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No, no, no. I can see fine... ow!
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Aah.
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Or this week.
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You need glasses.
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Experience the all-new
expectation-shattering buick.
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Stop, stop, stop.
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I don't like what I'm hearing.
101
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Uh, that's the client's copy.
102
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No, I hear squeaking.
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- Chair check!
- Chair check!
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- No, none of ours.
- I'm on it.
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Really? You're gonna
interrupt my pitch for this?
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What's wrong, buddy? You love chair check.
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Look, man, it's my son. He's...
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Boom! Found it.
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Excellent job!
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Uh, sorry, Dre, you were
in the middle of telling us
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your son is gay. Yeah.
112
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What? No. My son is not gay. He's...
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A Republican.
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Outstanding! Your son is
exactly the type of young man
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that the party needs.
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You're sure he's not gay, though, right?
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No, you... you don't get it.
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There are just some things
that black people cannot do.
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All right? You can live
in the suburbs and be cool.
120
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You can listen to the Dave Matthews Band
121
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and still be down. Love me some D.M.B.
122
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A black guy can marry someone white
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and still be cool.
124
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- Kanye, Quincy
Jones... - Mm-hmm.
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00:05:10,866 --> 00:05:13,934
- Tiger Woods, Ice-t, Richard
Pryor... - Okay, Charlie.
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- Cuba Gooding Jr., Seal, Taye Diggs...
- Look, Charlie...
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00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:17,788
- Charles Barkley...
- Charlie...
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Keenan, Lamar Odom, Chiwetel Ejiofor...
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Hey, Charlie, look, man,
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we don't have enough time for that.
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Plus you didn't even
get to anybody in the NFL
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or the fathers
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of the Golden State Warriors backcourt.
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- Klay Thompson. Look,
you can do anything,
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but you can't be a black Republican.
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They are not down for us,
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so we are not down for them.
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Are you saying all Republicans are racist?
139
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No, of course not.
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But they are.
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That is bullcrap. My dad is a Republican,
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and I cannot tell you how
often he starts a sentence with,
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"I'm not a racist, but..."
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Look, you just gotta do
something about junior.
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You don't want him to end up an Uncle Tom.
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- True that.
- Why not?
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I love my Uncle Tom. Okay,
he wasn't actually my Uncle,
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but he was a great black guy
named Jim who worked for my dad
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and did everything he was told,
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even at the expense of his own community.
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Uncle Tom isn't a great thing, is it?
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Mnh-mnh.
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Zoey's getting glasses!
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I'm so excited!
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Why do you care so much?
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Dad gave everyone great nicknames.
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Junior's "junior," Zoey's "zo-zo,"
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you're "Party time."
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♪ Party time, party time, party... ♪
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Stop!
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Except me. I have the worst nickname.
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- Daddy, Daddy!
- Ah, hey.
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Look at my new glasses.
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Lookin' good, Urkel. Girl Urkel.
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Gurkel!
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- I don't know if I like that name.
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Well, it amused me for a moment,
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so I guess you're gonna
have to live with it
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for the rest of your life.
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Now I'm gonna go tell the family
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what your new nickname is.
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Her new nickname is "Gurkel"!
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This is my chance to ditch this nickname.
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You're not listening to a
word I'm saying, Party time.
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So hard to stand still.
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Party time!
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There was no way I was
gonna let my namesake
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become an Uncle Tom.
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Son, you're broken.
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And me and a hundred years of
negritude are gonna fix you.
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Now why'd you join the young Republicans?
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Honestly, because of
how I feel about Hillary.
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00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:16,643
Hillary? Come on, man.
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I know she's not the
freshest candidate, but...
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00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:21,348
No, Dad. Hillary Montgomery,
a girl at my school.
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She's the secretary of
the young Republicans.
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Oh, you did this for a
girl. Well, come on, son.
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You can't be scaring me like that.
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And most of the time
black girls don't like me.
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She's black? What is going on?
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Never mind.
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Never mind. You got a girl on the line.
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00:07:38,231 --> 00:07:40,566
You know what, son? Here.
Take her out for ice cream
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on me this week. Whoo! Thanks.
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Oh! Do I still have to read these books?
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00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,473
Hell, no! Books are for nerds.
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Ha! Readin'.
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00:07:48,742 --> 00:07:50,993
You've got you a girl. Ha ha!
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00:07:51,044 --> 00:07:53,962
Ugh. I look like someone
I wouldn't let sit with me.
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00:07:53,962 --> 00:07:57,281
What?! No, you? Never.
201
00:07:57,332 --> 00:07:59,433
Jack? I would not be seen with you.
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00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,402
Exactly. You know what?
I'm not wearing these.
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00:08:01,436 --> 00:08:06,088
No! I mean, no.
You don't have to do that.
204
00:08:06,088 --> 00:08:08,374
Why do you wanna go back to being blind
205
00:08:08,408 --> 00:08:10,260
when you can finally see the world?
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00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,443
Go on. Look how you can see the detail
207
00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:13,776
on the leaves on the trees.
208
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,962
Now look there at the restless beating
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00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,397
of the hummingbird's wing.
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00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:18,998
- Wow.
- See?
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00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,751
Yes, and finally I can.
212
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,736
New Gurkel.
213
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,923
- Well, I'll never
need glasses. - Mm-hmm.
214
00:08:26,957 --> 00:08:30,193
I can read that. I can read that.
215
00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:31,427
I can read that.
216
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:33,646
Can you read this?
217
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,231
SIM-ple...
218
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,668
SIM-plemene-did?
219
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,520
Not so mouthy now, are we, party time?
220
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,558
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh! I talked to junior.
221
00:08:46,558 --> 00:08:48,159
Okay. All right? It's all good.
222
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:49,761
He is not a Republican.
223
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:52,032
Oh, my God. Fantastic! What'd you do?
224
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,250
Found out he only joined that club
225
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,069
because he's hot on a girl,
and it's not about her policies.
226
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,739
It's about her pair of c's.
227
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,226
- I'm leaving you.
- Hmm?
228
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:04,994
That's worse, Dre.
229
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:05,828
Why?
230
00:09:05,863 --> 00:09:07,330
Men are impressionable.
231
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,765
Women can get men to do
anything, and it sticks.
232
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,920
Look at you. You're eating
seaweed right now because of me.
233
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:17,390
- Seaweed is delicious.
- No, seaweed is terrible.
234
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,393
It's seaweed. Weeds from the sea, Dre.
235
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,161
It's in the name, and
you're loving it right now
236
00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:23,796
because I told you to.
237
00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:26,332
Well, junior is a lot
stronger than what you think.
238
00:09:26,384 --> 00:09:28,934
Hey, Mom? Dad? This is Hillary.
239
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,436
- Hello.
- Hello.
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00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:31,854
Nice to meet you.
241
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,022
- Nice to meet you
as well. - Mm-hmm.
242
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,491
Uh, so, uh, how was ice cream?
243
00:09:35,525 --> 00:09:36,942
Oh, we didn't get ice cream.
244
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:37,943
She took me to see
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00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,829
anti tax crusader grover norquist
246
00:09:39,863 --> 00:09:41,497
speak at the Reagan library.
247
00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:42,832
What?
248
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:44,033
He was sobering.
249
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,752
Then Hillary bought me
dick Cheney's biography.
250
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,454
- Mm.
- It's awesome!
251
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,589
I mean, the dude destroyed Iraq,
252
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,292
got rich rebuilding it? Hero!
253
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:57,513
Then he shot a guy, and
the guy apologized. Pimp!
254
00:09:57,547 --> 00:09:59,632
- Hmm.
- That should be the name of his book...
255
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:02,184
Hero pimp"!
256
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,104
Oh, my God.
257
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,855
Bow was right.
258
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,108
Seaweed is horrible.
259
00:10:11,119 --> 00:10:12,887
Guys, have you ever noticed
260
00:10:12,921 --> 00:10:15,356
that we live in a really nice house?
261
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:20,361
Wow. With those new glasses,
262
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:23,797
I'd say Zoey's even more
like a girl Urkel than Diane.
263
00:10:23,848 --> 00:10:25,266
You think so?
264
00:10:25,317 --> 00:10:27,334
Line?
265
00:10:27,369 --> 00:10:30,637
"I'd say we have a new Gurkel."
266
00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:31,938
Yeah, new Gurkel.
267
00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:35,458
Whoa, guys, I think you're right.
268
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,643
Zo-zo's the new Gurkel!
269
00:10:38,996 --> 00:10:40,830
Oh, my God! With the snorting?
270
00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:43,182
Full Gurkel! Fantastic!
271
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:44,734
Did I do that?
272
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:46,752
Ha! Hilarious!
273
00:10:46,803 --> 00:10:48,271
Diane, bedtime.
274
00:10:48,305 --> 00:10:50,439
Come on, baby. Can you do that
snort for me one more time?
275
00:10:50,474 --> 00:10:51,824
Oh, yeah. Perfect.
276
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:54,877
Hold on. Diane, I said bedtime.
Why you still standing there?
277
00:10:54,911 --> 00:10:58,380
All right, do that snort again.
278
00:10:58,415 --> 00:11:01,567
Urkel was the breakout character.
279
00:11:01,601 --> 00:11:03,586
What have I given up?
280
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,204
Hey, junior.
281
00:11:05,255 --> 00:11:07,723
Hi. Am I in trouble?
282
00:11:07,774 --> 00:11:08,424
- No.
- Yes.
283
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,842
We... we just wanna talk to you.
284
00:11:09,842 --> 00:11:11,209
- About the trouble that you're in.
- Dre.
285
00:11:11,244 --> 00:11:14,546
Son, you cannot become a
Republican because of a girl.
286
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:16,548
But it's about more than that now.
287
00:11:16,582 --> 00:11:18,050
I've been doing some reading,
288
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,085
and, Dad, you know how
you're always talking
289
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:23,654
about hard work and
personal responsibility?
290
00:11:23,689 --> 00:11:25,956
- Mm-hmm? - Republicans
believe the same thing.
291
00:11:26,007 --> 00:11:27,925
- Eh, that's different.
- How?
292
00:11:29,227 --> 00:11:31,662
Bow?
293
00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:33,414
Because... We are not
294
00:11:33,465 --> 00:11:36,534
close-minded reactionary gun nuts.
295
00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:37,601
Grandma and Pops are Democrats,
296
00:11:37,636 --> 00:11:40,120
and they both have guns. In
- in this house?
297
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,337
- B-baby...
- What?
298
00:11:41,372 --> 00:11:43,306
- Baby, one crisis at a time, okay?
- Okay.
299
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:45,441
- We are Democrats.
- Yes.
300
00:11:45,476 --> 00:11:49,295
- Why?
- Bow?
301
00:11:49,329 --> 00:11:52,865
Uh... Because we believe
that government can have
302
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,668
a meaningful and positive
role in people's lives,
303
00:11:55,719 --> 00:11:57,754
and it's not just everyone for themselves.
304
00:11:57,805 --> 00:12:00,106
And more importantly, we're black.
305
00:12:00,157 --> 00:12:01,274
Whatever.
306
00:12:01,276 --> 00:12:03,459
I'm gonna go get started on my speech.
307
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:05,478
Oh, oh, oh, oh! What speech?
308
00:12:05,512 --> 00:12:07,096
Oh, Hillary's father thinks I should run
309
00:12:07,147 --> 00:12:09,365
for president of the young Republicans.
310
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,918
He said I'll make a great
face of the organization.
311
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,374
Oh, my God.
312
00:12:14,408 --> 00:12:15,842
And tonight's final guest...
313
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:17,643
the current face of black Republicans...
314
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,363
Andre Johnson Jr. Welcome, Andre.
315
00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:25,952
It's great to be here,
Bill. Let me start by saying,
316
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,855
here's what wrong with black people.
317
00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:31,224
So bow and I thought we
should meet the parents
318
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:34,176
who were pushing our son
to be a Republican leader.
319
00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:36,295
So, Dre, you know the game plan, right?
320
00:12:36,295 --> 00:12:38,062
We're here to reach across the aisle
321
00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:39,331
and just get to know these folks.
322
00:12:39,332 --> 00:12:41,356
We're not here to pick a fight or to judge.
323
00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:42,541
I got it.
324
00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:43,792
- Okay.
- I'll be on my best behavior.
325
00:12:43,843 --> 00:12:45,210
Okay.
326
00:12:46,012 --> 00:12:47,279
Oh, wow.
327
00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:49,914
Looks like Uncle Tom got
himself a real nice cabin.
328
00:12:49,914 --> 00:12:51,582
We're off to a very good start.
329
00:12:51,616 --> 00:12:53,784
They don't even stand like black people.
330
00:12:53,835 --> 00:12:56,720
Thank you so much for having us over.
331
00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:59,523
- Your home is so beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.
332
00:12:59,574 --> 00:13:01,158
Mom, is it all right if
I give junior the tour?
333
00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:02,676
Absolutely. Have fun, kids.
334
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,645
Hey, take the tour, son.
335
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,764
Tell me what the gun
range look like, all right?
336
00:13:07,899 --> 00:13:09,333
We... we don't have a gun range.
337
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:10,868
Oh! Of course you don't.
338
00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,686
Your hearing's too good for that.
339
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,706
- 'Cause guns are
so loud! - Bang-bang!
340
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,841
Okay.
341
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,509
How about some lemonade?
342
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:21,478
Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you so much.
343
00:13:21,478 --> 00:13:23,345
Yeah, I-I-I prefer
kool-aid if you got it.
344
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,545
- Dre, Dre.
- What?
345
00:13:24,547 --> 00:13:25,546
Can you rein it in, please?
346
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,981
- I'm... I'm trying to.
- Okay.
347
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:28,082
- All right?
- All right
348
00:13:28,116 --> 00:13:29,717
Wild boar bacon tart?
349
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:30,751
Oh, isn't that nice?
350
00:13:30,802 --> 00:13:32,520
Oh, of course. Wild boar bacon.
351
00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:34,556
I guess regular bacon's
not good enough for them.
352
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:35,089
Dre...
353
00:13:35,490 --> 00:13:37,491
- Mmm! Mmm!
- Oh, my God.
354
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,278
And, of course, this is the
best bacon I've ever had.
355
00:13:40,312 --> 00:13:42,413
Thank you. Hand-slaughtered.
356
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,415
Mmm. It's the fear that
makes it so delicious.
357
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:47,818
Yeah, salty and
fatty. Thick as a pork chop.
358
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:51,422
- This is the Amber rose of bacon.
- Okay.
359
00:13:51,473 --> 00:13:52,807
Mmm.
360
00:13:54,359 --> 00:13:59,296
Wow. This says that 70% of girls
who get glasses become obese.
361
00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,015
Really? Let me see that.
362
00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:03,868
Oh. You don't need to look it up.
363
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:07,838
All right. Nap time.
364
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,154
What are you doing?
365
00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:24,790
I'm Gurkel.
366
00:14:29,362 --> 00:14:30,395
Well, if you ask me,
367
00:14:30,446 --> 00:14:32,798
the only reason the
right wing wants to enact
368
00:14:32,832 --> 00:14:36,234
a voter registration law
is to deny the franchise,
369
00:14:36,269 --> 00:14:38,537
which is in direct violation
of the constitution.
370
00:14:38,571 --> 00:14:41,256
I just asked where you went to college.
371
00:14:41,307 --> 00:14:43,141
Sorry about him.
372
00:14:43,176 --> 00:14:45,627
No, no, no, that's okay. I
understand what's going on.
373
00:14:45,662 --> 00:14:47,346
You wonder why we're Republicans.
374
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,097
- Mm-hmm. - All
right, listen,
375
00:14:49,148 --> 00:14:51,316
we recognize that it's not the "hotness,"
376
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:53,251
but it lines up with our beliefs
377
00:14:53,286 --> 00:14:54,586
as small business owners.
378
00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:56,088
You own a fortune 500 company!
379
00:14:56,139 --> 00:14:57,556
Yeah, well, just barely.
380
00:14:57,607 --> 00:14:59,875
I mean, it's only in the high fours.
381
00:14:59,909 --> 00:15:02,010
And with all the taxes that Obama
382
00:15:02,045 --> 00:15:03,795
is heaping on job creators...
383
00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:06,698
Oh, yeah. Blame Obama.
Everybody wanna blame Obama.
384
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:09,367
You know, there are so many
perspectives in the world.
385
00:15:09,402 --> 00:15:11,002
It's so many, right? And I...
386
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,804
I wanna reach across the aisle,
387
00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:15,140
and with an open mind just ask how...
388
00:15:15,191 --> 00:15:19,427
how you reconcile the whole racism thing?
389
00:15:19,462 --> 00:15:22,347
Well, it's not easy. There
are some ugly voices out there,
390
00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:26,535
but the G.O.P. Is a big tent,
and the world is changing.
391
00:15:26,586 --> 00:15:29,921
I'm sorry. What does
"G.O.P." Stand for again?
392
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:30,808
Grand Old Party.
393
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:33,158
And... and that didn't raise any alarms?
394
00:15:33,159 --> 00:15:34,743
Admittedly, it took some getting used to.
395
00:15:34,794 --> 00:15:37,295
But the G.O.P. Is about
putting family first.
396
00:15:37,297 --> 00:15:40,098
You know, I gave up my law
career when we had kids.
397
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,200
Did you? Yeah, I just
didn't have time for all that
398
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,452
leaning in and whatnot.
399
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:47,222
I lean back into our children.
400
00:15:47,256 --> 00:15:50,442
- Lean back. Lean
back. - Right? Uh-oh.
401
00:15:50,476 --> 00:15:52,827
No, but it's true.
402
00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,680
I mean, women today are always
about career, career, career.
403
00:15:55,714 --> 00:16:00,402
I just think moms who are always
about their jobs are... Selfish.
404
00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:01,436
Hmm. Bingo!
405
00:16:01,487 --> 00:16:03,905
So you think it's selfish to save lives?
406
00:16:03,956 --> 00:16:05,840
You know I'm a doctor, right?
407
00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:08,960
I'm actually a doctor and a mother.
408
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,846
Both! Crazy! Who the
hell do you think you are?
409
00:16:11,881 --> 00:16:14,849
Yes, who the hell do you think you are?
410
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,601
- Well, I'm from Tennessee. My fa...
- Hey, excuse me.
411
00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:17,436
Can a brother talk?
412
00:16:17,438 --> 00:16:19,270
Is it all right if a brother
says something up in here?
413
00:16:19,272 --> 00:16:21,222
- Can a brother talk?
- Uh, no one's interrupting you.
414
00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:22,923
Can you let him talk? Can a brother talk?
415
00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:24,007
Can he talk?
416
00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:24,992
Yeah! Let him talk.
417
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,410
- Thank you, baby.
- Let my man
418
00:16:26,844 --> 00:16:27,995
finish his sentence. Mmhmm.
419
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,197
- It's a sentence so he can get it out.
- Thank you, baby.
420
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,615
Mom, dad, what are you...
421
00:16:31,619 --> 00:16:33,737
You know what? No,
junior, let me talk, okay?
422
00:16:33,788 --> 00:16:35,622
- Let me talk!
- Hey, let her talk, okay?
423
00:16:35,656 --> 00:16:37,991
- Let your mama talk.
- Let me talk.
424
00:16:37,991 --> 00:16:38,758
I'm letting you talk.
425
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:43,061
Okay, so this may not have
been our finest moment.
426
00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:44,145
You know what?!
427
00:16:44,179 --> 00:16:46,697
- Everybody, let everybody talk!
- We're letting you talk.
428
00:16:46,731 --> 00:16:48,232
Oh, really?! Really?!
429
00:16:49,588 --> 00:16:50,755
Now I can never show my face
430
00:16:50,757 --> 00:16:52,023
at the young Republicans again.
431
00:16:52,023 --> 00:16:53,773
Does that make you happy?
432
00:16:53,773 --> 00:16:55,324
A little, of the outcome,
433
00:16:55,358 --> 00:16:58,010
but I can't say we're proud of the process.
434
00:16:58,044 --> 00:16:59,628
I'm sorry if your mother
435
00:16:59,628 --> 00:17:00,962
became the intolerant person
436
00:17:00,996 --> 00:17:02,497
that we thought the Montgomerys were.
437
00:17:02,548 --> 00:17:08,203
Me? Dre, you have four
bacon tarts in your pants.
438
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:09,837
- Three, okay? Three.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
439
00:17:09,888 --> 00:17:10,972
I wish I had four.
440
00:17:11,023 --> 00:17:13,074
Damn, this is some good Republican bacon.
441
00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:14,542
- Junior, we screwed up.
- Mmm.
442
00:17:14,593 --> 00:17:16,711
And we're sorry, but these are our beliefs,
443
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,446
and we want them to be yours, too.
444
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,665
- I don't want your beliefs.
- Oh.
445
00:17:20,716 --> 00:17:23,551
But I will take your pocket tarts.
446
00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,620
- Uh...
- I heard that.
447
00:17:25,654 --> 00:17:28,840
Now see, that was a mistake.
448
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:29,248
What?
449
00:17:29,274 --> 00:17:31,192
Don't you know you can't
force kids to believe
450
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,494
the same things you do? Mmm.
451
00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:35,546
Unless it's about Jesus.
452
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:38,733
♪ Then it's his way or the highway ♪
453
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:39,917
♪ To hell ♪
454
00:17:39,952 --> 00:17:42,904
Ruby... You were so close to making sense.
455
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:44,522
No, Bow, she's right.
456
00:17:44,556 --> 00:17:46,541
Pops not letting me listen to reggae music
457
00:17:46,575 --> 00:17:48,926
is the reason I went
through my rastafarian phase.
458
00:17:53,315 --> 00:17:54,916
It's like when kids go off to college
459
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:57,134
and never seen alcohol
before and they just go crazy.
460
00:17:57,169 --> 00:18:00,054
Chug, chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,
461
00:18:00,088 --> 00:18:02,757
chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
462
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,593
Or... So I've been told.
463
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,696
Steering 'em away from something
only makes them want it more.
464
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,031
Forbidden fruit, Missy.
465
00:18:10,082 --> 00:18:13,367
I don't think I've ever
said this before in my life.
466
00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:14,352
Ruby's right.
467
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,704
Yeah. I also got some ideas
468
00:18:16,738 --> 00:18:19,874
about that missing
Malaysian Airliner. Pssh!
469
00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:22,810
And I don't think I'll ever say it again.
470
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:24,145
I doubt it.
471
00:18:24,196 --> 00:18:26,664
So Bow and I resolved
to be more balanced
472
00:18:26,698 --> 00:18:28,332
in how we present things.
473
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:31,819
Junior, we just want you to know
that we respect your beliefs.
474
00:18:31,853 --> 00:18:34,788
- Even if they're wrong.
- Mm, and there might be certain things
475
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,991
that we don't see eye-to-eye
on, but we want you to know
476
00:18:36,993 --> 00:18:38,526
that you can try new things,
477
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,927
even if we're not in love with them.
478
00:18:39,929 --> 00:18:44,031
Like, say you get into
civil war re-enactments.
479
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:45,115
- Very weird.
- Mm-hmm.
480
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,450
We'd make fun of you. Probably.
481
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,801
But we wouldn't stop you.
482
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:51,772
No. Or say one of you
becomes a celtics fan.
483
00:18:51,774 --> 00:18:53,073
Really?
484
00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:54,325
Yeah.
485
00:18:54,376 --> 00:18:57,845
You would be okay with that, right? Right?
486
00:18:57,879 --> 00:18:58,929
- Right.
- Right.
487
00:18:58,964 --> 00:19:01,515
Hmm. And let's say one of you girls
488
00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:03,050
met a very nice guy... Mmhmm.
489
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:05,319
And decided that you wanted to stay home
490
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,954
and not have a career.
491
00:19:06,988 --> 00:19:10,457
Your mom would be perfectly okay with that.
492
00:19:10,492 --> 00:19:11,992
Right, Bow?
493
00:19:11,994 --> 00:19:14,995
Hmm?
494
00:19:14,997 --> 00:19:16,630
- Yeah.
- Ah.
495
00:19:16,664 --> 00:19:18,665
Okay. All right.
496
00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:20,884
- We're really going there, huh?
- Oh, we're there.
497
00:19:20,919 --> 00:19:22,219
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
498
00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:26,673
Just like your dad would
be okay if one of you
499
00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:30,844
thought "kingdom come"
was Jay-Z's best album?
500
00:19:30,846 --> 00:19:32,846
- What?
- Really?
501
00:19:32,848 --> 00:19:34,648
That album is so cool.
502
00:19:34,682 --> 00:19:36,683
Perfectly okay.
503
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:39,186
I don't think this is about us anymore.
504
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,270
Should we leave?
505
00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,723
I wanna stay and see where this goes.
506
00:19:46,623 --> 00:19:47,656
All right.
507
00:19:47,707 --> 00:19:49,792
I can't believe I'm about to ask you this.
508
00:19:49,826 --> 00:19:51,627
But how's young Republicans going?
509
00:19:51,661 --> 00:19:53,629
Actually, Dad, after much thought,
510
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:56,548
I've decided I'm a Democrat after all.
511
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,000
- What?
- I did that.
512
00:19:58,051 --> 00:20:01,386
I introduced him to one
of my liberal girlfriends,
513
00:20:01,421 --> 00:20:03,505
and let's just say her "ideas"
514
00:20:03,556 --> 00:20:05,174
are bigger than Hillary's.
515
00:20:05,176 --> 00:20:07,309
- Oh.
- Come on, dad. I had to.
516
00:20:07,343 --> 00:20:10,095
Republican? We just don't do that.
517
00:20:10,146 --> 00:20:12,181
- Way to go, Gurkel. Mm.
518
00:20:12,183 --> 00:20:15,484
I'm Gurkel! That's my nickname!
519
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:18,020
Ow! Ow. Hey, hey, hey.
520
00:20:18,022 --> 00:20:21,323
I'm sorry. I didn't know
you liked it so much.
521
00:20:21,357 --> 00:20:22,941
I... Guess I didn't either.
522
00:20:22,992 --> 00:20:24,910
Well, since it means so much to you,
523
00:20:24,944 --> 00:20:28,363
you will be my only
Gurkel from now on. Cool?
524
00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:29,498
- Thank you.
- All right.
525
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:30,782
Well, Zoey, looks like
526
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,535
we're gonna have to find
you another name. Uh...
527
00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:38,040
Butterfly, because you're
so delicate and graceful
528
00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:39,374
and looking at you is so special.
529
00:20:39,425 --> 00:20:42,210
Aw, that's so sweet, Dad! I love it!
530
00:20:42,261 --> 00:20:44,763
Oh, I love you, Butterfly.
Hey, but you know what?
531
00:20:44,797 --> 00:20:46,965
We're gonna have to get you some contacts.
532
00:20:47,016 --> 00:20:49,551
- Because glasses
are not it. - Mnh-mnh.
533
00:20:49,553 --> 00:20:51,053
Hey, go to school, Gurkel.
534
00:20:51,055 --> 00:20:52,387
All right?
535
00:20:56,512 --> 00:21:02,312
Butterfly? I played this one all wrong.
536
00:21:02,337 --> 00:21:05,637
Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com