1
00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:11,102
Look at all those sad dads.

2
00:00:14,335 --> 00:00:16,173
Can you believe I'm the same age

3
00:00:16,303 --> 00:00:19,175
as "Mr. I wear a cellphone
holster out in public"?

4
00:00:21,574 --> 00:00:25,437
The difference between me and them
is that I've still got my swagger.

5
00:00:25,589 --> 00:00:27,737
I may be days away from turning 40,

6
00:00:27,849 --> 00:00:30,916
but age is really nothing
more than a state of mind.

7
00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:38,375
For me, I'm not getting older. Whoo!

8
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:39,517
I'm getting better.

9
00:00:41,303 --> 00:00:43,534
Whoo! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

10
00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:46,055
Because I know exactly who I am.

11
00:00:49,324 --> 00:00:52,280
And right now, that's someone
who's in a lot of pain.

12
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:56,795
Why-y-y-y-y?!

13
00:00:58,616 --> 00:01:02,036
sync and corrected by MVLJR
www.addic7ed.com

14
00:01:07,674 --> 00:01:10,732
Oh, my God! Baby boy, what happened?

15
00:01:10,888 --> 00:01:13,558
Oh, come on. Come on. Get on my back. Let
me carry you over to the couch. Come on.

16
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,449
Mama, look, I just rolled my ankle.

17
00:01:15,578 --> 00:01:18,074
Ohh. My baby's bones are brittle.

18
00:01:18,685 --> 00:01:20,870
Someone's been giving him skim milk.

19
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,490
- What...
- You go sit down.

20
00:01:22,563 --> 00:01:24,434
I'm gonna bring you a mug of half-and-half.

21
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:25,749
- Okay, Ma.
- Oh, yeah.

22
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,747
Sweetheart, how many times
do I have to tell you?

23
00:01:29,795 --> 00:01:31,634
You are way too old to
be playing basketball.

24
00:01:31,769 --> 00:01:34,664
Ah, maybe you should tell that to
the young bucks I whupped up on today.

25
00:01:34,685 --> 00:01:35,435
Oh.

26
00:01:35,556 --> 00:01:38,310
So, are those the same young bucks
that carried you off the court

27
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,155
or the ones that drove you to the hospital?

28
00:01:40,462 --> 00:01:41,303
Both.

29
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,194
I'm just saying, if you're
gonna keep playing basketball,

30
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,114
I think you really need to
play a less intense game,

31
00:01:45,242 --> 00:01:48,162
maybe with more... Colins and Ethans

32
00:01:48,262 --> 00:01:50,679
and less Maliks and Jamals.

33
00:01:50,764 --> 00:01:53,638
Are you trying to tell me
I belong in a white game?

34
00:01:53,653 --> 00:01:55,668
Oh, I'm absolutely telling you that.

35
00:01:55,703 --> 00:01:58,790
White game, Game of Whites.

36
00:01:59,074 --> 00:02:00,401
Okay. Game of Whites.

37
00:02:00,436 --> 00:02:02,093
Mm-hmm.

38
00:02:02,529 --> 00:02:03,862
- Dad?
- Hmm?

39
00:02:03,897 --> 00:02:06,498
Grandma says you're falling apart
'cause mom isn't feeding you right.

40
00:02:06,665 --> 00:02:08,305
Here is your half-and-half.

41
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,629
Oh, look at that. She put whipped
cream on top of my half-and-half.

42
00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:15,843
Poor old, old, old Dad.

43
00:02:15,893 --> 00:02:17,780
- You're never gonna see me grow up.
- What?

44
00:02:17,815 --> 00:02:20,712
He's not even gonna make it through
his birthday party next week.

45
00:02:20,747 --> 00:02:22,533
I think you look good for your age, Dad.

46
00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:24,797
Thank you, son. 40's not bad, right?

47
00:02:25,774 --> 00:02:27,185
You're only 40?!

48
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,859
Good Lord! You've lived a hard life!

49
00:02:29,894 --> 00:02:32,209
Why doesn't mom look terrible, like you?

50
00:02:32,244 --> 00:02:34,121
'Cause mom was a child bride.

51
00:02:34,156 --> 00:02:35,644
Ohhhhh!

52
00:02:35,691 --> 00:02:38,594
You know, statistically,
by the time you get to 40,

53
00:02:38,665 --> 00:02:40,638
more than half your life is over.

54
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:44,395
All you've got left is that
long, painful, downhill slide

55
00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:47,166
toward the unforgiving
black abyss of death.

56
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:53,454
- Whoa.
- Guys, suddenly, this just got very real.

57
00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:54,924
Let's go.

58
00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:56,893
No. Don't look. Just walk.

59
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,484
That's enough shopping. Let's go home.

60
00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:06,818
- Hey! What was that for?!
- Hey! Come on!

61
00:03:06,893 --> 00:03:08,184
- You broke my heart!
- Really?

62
00:03:08,335 --> 00:03:10,569
Guys! Your dad is turning 40.

63
00:03:10,612 --> 00:03:13,002
Oh, yeah. We buried him on that one.

64
00:03:13,102 --> 00:03:16,420
Yeah, but this is a huge
deal. 40 is a milestone.

65
00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:20,435
So no gift cards, no
creepy kid-massage coupons,

66
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,885
and no macaroni footprints.

67
00:03:22,093 --> 00:03:24,337
You couldn't have taken
me aside for that one?

68
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,074
Okay, you need to get
him something special.

69
00:03:26,232 --> 00:03:28,403
- Like what?
- Yeah, what does dad want?

70
00:03:28,447 --> 00:03:31,179
You should not be asking
me that. He is your father.

71
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,759
Figure it out.

72
00:03:33,616 --> 00:03:35,625
Like now! Figure it out! Let's go.

73
00:03:35,935 --> 00:03:37,539
It's a big deal, you guys.

74
00:03:41,756 --> 00:03:44,254
- What?
- You don't know what he wants, either.

75
00:03:44,264 --> 00:03:46,996
You have no idea what your husband likes.

76
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:48,500
Like you do.

77
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,318
I absolutely do.

78
00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,246
I breastfed him until he was 7.

79
00:03:53,423 --> 00:03:55,894
Ugh. I did not need to know that, okay?

80
00:03:55,929 --> 00:03:59,298
And trust me... I know what my man likes,

81
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:01,620
and I'm gonna get him
something great, okay?

82
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,479
Well, I hope you can.

83
00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:05,620
Is that a challenge?

84
00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:07,523
Oh. I don't think it's a challenge.

85
00:04:07,698 --> 00:04:10,066
I know it's not a challenge.

86
00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:11,206
Well, then...

87
00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:13,890
It ain't on.

88
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,929
No. It is not.

89
00:04:20,099 --> 00:04:21,207
Sleep well.

90
00:04:21,373 --> 00:04:22,922
- You also.
- Thank you.

91
00:04:27,974 --> 00:04:30,021
So, what do you guys think
dad wants for his birthday?

92
00:04:30,179 --> 00:04:31,647
I already got him something.

93
00:04:32,414 --> 00:04:33,857
You spelled "Birthday" wrong.

94
00:04:33,910 --> 00:04:36,154
I know. People think
it's cute when I do that.

95
00:04:36,328 --> 00:04:38,333
You know what... We should pool our money

96
00:04:38,384 --> 00:04:40,551
so that we could get dad
something really nice.

97
00:04:40,587 --> 00:04:41,819
I'll start.

98
00:04:41,855 --> 00:04:43,240
I have zero dollars.

99
00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:46,283
All my money is in Diane's hands, and
she won't tell me how much we have.

100
00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:49,320
I feel like I'm going to come
home one day and you'll be gone.

101
00:04:49,829 --> 00:04:51,949
Pssh! What?!

102
00:04:52,163 --> 00:04:53,876
That's crazy.

103
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,852
He's crazy.

104
00:04:56,052 --> 00:04:58,284
Don't you ever put me on blast like that.

105
00:04:59,506 --> 00:05:02,173
So... How much money do you have saved?

106
00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:05,236
I mean, I don't have
Diane money, but I'm okay.

107
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:08,545
Here's the thing, though...

108
00:05:08,706 --> 00:05:11,314
What can we buy dad that
he can't buy himself?

109
00:05:12,108 --> 00:05:13,433
Yeah, you're right.

110
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,785
We should, like, make him something.

111
00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:18,474
No. Something personal and meaningful.

112
00:05:18,531 --> 00:05:19,697
And free!

113
00:05:19,865 --> 00:05:22,202
I'm happy not to spend any of my money.

114
00:05:23,641 --> 00:05:25,269
Sorry.

115
00:05:25,564 --> 00:05:27,429
Our money.

116
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:32,479
So, my ankle was better,

117
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:34,466
but some people wanted to remind me

118
00:05:34,597 --> 00:05:36,025
that I wasn't getting any younger.

119
00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:37,322
- Hey, Dre.
- Hey.

120
00:05:37,364 --> 00:05:40,079
Hey, H.R. tells me you're
turning the big 4-0, huh?

121
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,234
You doing anything special?

122
00:05:41,376 --> 00:05:43,046
No, nothing special... Same as last year.

123
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,798
Hey, turning 40... No big deal.

124
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,715
I can't believe you're about to turn 40.

125
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,534
We thought you were, like, way younger.

126
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:54,198
Yeah, is it more offensive that I assumed
that you started having kids as a preteen

127
00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:57,031
or that I can't tell
how old black people are?

128
00:05:57,218 --> 00:06:00,825
Let me see. They're both pretty
offensive. D-do I have to pick just one?

129
00:06:00,948 --> 00:06:03,059
Hey, Charlie, can you tell how old Dre is?

130
00:06:03,131 --> 00:06:04,149
Huh? Uh...

131
00:06:08,254 --> 00:06:10,680
- About a week shy of 40?
- That is settled.

132
00:06:10,845 --> 00:06:13,384
Let's move on to some
new business... Red Bull.

133
00:06:13,594 --> 00:06:15,045
Oh, hey, I got some great ideas about that.

134
00:06:15,046 --> 00:06:18,038
Oh, you know what? Actually, you've
kind of aged out of that demographic.

135
00:06:18,124 --> 00:06:21,276
You are gonna be my big dog
on the Stool-Softener account.

136
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,570
- What?!
- Yeah.

137
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:25,107
He said you're getting the Stool Softener!

138
00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:26,466
Hey, Charlie.

139
00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:29,912
- You're his big dog!
- Yeah. Okay. Okay.

140
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:31,982
O... fellas, look,

141
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:33,743
advertising is about cool,

142
00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:37,008
and in cool, black 40 is the white 25.

143
00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,700
Y'all know I still got
the most swag at this firm.

144
00:06:39,878 --> 00:06:40,704
Ohh.

145
00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:42,948
- Not since Curtis got here.
- My assistant?

146
00:06:42,983 --> 00:06:44,093
What?

147
00:06:44,246 --> 00:06:45,562
- Here you go, boss.
- Oh, thanks.

148
00:06:45,649 --> 00:06:47,624
Now, I put butter in there
instead of sugar and cream.

149
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:51,440
It's a little tip that I picked up while I
was doing EDM Beats with this kid in Milan.

150
00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:53,741
Namaste, fellas.

151
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,511
Ah. He's so cool.

152
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,039
- That guy's amazing.
- He's so cool.

153
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,445
That is not cool.

154
00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:01,768
Yeah, but what definitely is cool
is that he, unlike someone else,

155
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:04,799
doesn't have to get
colonoscopies on the company dime.

156
00:07:04,894 --> 00:07:06,815
Although you probably should
have gotten one already

157
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:10,017
'cause, in health, black
40 is like the white 75.

158
00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:13,191
No, it's not! All right? I'm
the healthiest I've ever been.

159
00:07:13,362 --> 00:07:16,389
- You've been limping for years.
- That's my stroll.

160
00:07:16,612 --> 00:07:19,051
I-I've only had this limp for a week.

161
00:07:19,084 --> 00:07:21,885
But I'm fine. You know what? You're lucky
I don't have my basketball gear here,

162
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:24,460
'cause if I did, I'd take you out on
the court and school all y'all asses.

163
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:28,022
- No.
- I've got some gym clothes you can borrow.

164
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,064
What? Please.

165
00:07:33,238 --> 00:07:35,518
By the way, you're working the
hell out of them panties, Dre.

166
00:07:35,657 --> 00:07:38,640
Yeah, well, you know, if
anybody can work this, it's me.

167
00:07:38,678 --> 00:07:41,022
Man, I can't believe
these dudes think I'm old.

168
00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:42,296
Let's just start again.

169
00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:44,224
Yeah, well, look, you prove your point,

170
00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:46,052
and then you get the hell
on out of here, all right?

171
00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:48,711
This is my white-guy
group. You go get your own.

172
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,192
Charlie, I don't want your white guys, man.

173
00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:52,803
Brad! What's happening?

174
00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:54,259
I'm being for real here, Dre.

175
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,509
These white guys are my hookup to
things that brothers can't get...

176
00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:01,511
Nighttime dentists, hockey
tickets, cure for AIDS,

177
00:08:01,683 --> 00:08:04,166
that black seat on the space
ark when the world ends.

178
00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:06,870
- Hey, don't worry about it, man.
- I don't know what you're doing now.

179
00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,153
I'm just here to show these dudes

180
00:08:08,211 --> 00:08:11,017
that I haven't lost a step
since I'll be turning 40.

181
00:08:11,176 --> 00:08:12,262
All right, guys, that's good.

182
00:08:12,315 --> 00:08:14,819
Everybody, hey, time for a
little roundball. Bring it in.

183
00:08:14,991 --> 00:08:16,697
- Now watch me dominate.
- Okay.

184
00:08:16,774 --> 00:08:19,924
Ohh! Damn it! Ow! God!

185
00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:22,562
- What's wrong, Dre?
- Aw, I got a leg cramp.

186
00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:25,100
Don't worry about it, man.
I got a banana in my bag.

187
00:08:25,111 --> 00:08:27,223
I'm just gonna sit here and
let this potassium do its thing.

188
00:08:27,312 --> 00:08:28,178
Okay.

189
00:08:28,213 --> 00:08:29,002
Whew.

190
00:08:30,217 --> 00:08:31,226
Mmm...

191
00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:32,917
Mnh! Mnh!

192
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,875
Oh, God!

193
00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:36,074
Aah!

194
00:08:36,689 --> 00:08:37,862
Oh, God!

195
00:08:39,704 --> 00:08:40,882
What's wrong, Dre?!

196
00:08:42,263 --> 00:08:43,936
I'm dying!

197
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,959
Package for Ruby Johnson.

198
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,607
- Oh, thank you.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes!

199
00:08:51,634 --> 00:08:52,664
No. That's for me.

200
00:08:52,761 --> 00:08:55,180
Very special gift for my very special boy.

201
00:08:55,341 --> 00:08:58,453
And another for Rainbow Johnson.

202
00:08:58,463 --> 00:08:59,477
Oh.

203
00:09:01,187 --> 00:09:02,668
That's got to hurt.

204
00:09:03,731 --> 00:09:05,381
This is not over.

205
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:08,994
So, what'd you get him?

206
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,280
Oh, I don't know. This is
just some Swiffer refills.

207
00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:13,307
Good timing. Thank you.

208
00:09:15,224 --> 00:09:15,891
Ow.

209
00:09:16,052 --> 00:09:18,531
Oh, baby, I'm so sorry about your tooth.

210
00:09:18,652 --> 00:09:20,775
Is there anything that
I could maybe buy you

211
00:09:20,781 --> 00:09:22,166
that might make you feel better?

212
00:09:22,317 --> 00:09:25,346
Like... I don't know. Like
golf clubs or a used Segway?

213
00:09:26,284 --> 00:09:27,852
- What's the point?
- What?

214
00:09:27,865 --> 00:09:30,761
My body parts are abandoning me
like rats from a sinking ship.

215
00:09:30,766 --> 00:09:34,004
Dre, it's a tooth. Do not turn
this into a midlife crisis.

216
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,206
But this is a real crisis.

217
00:09:36,380 --> 00:09:38,126
This isn't just about me getting old.

218
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,759
It's about me losing my swag!

219
00:09:39,782 --> 00:09:41,551
Oh, my God. Wait. Your swag?

220
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,825
Okay. You can joke about it,
because you ain't got none.

221
00:09:43,955 --> 00:09:45,435
- Wh...
- And... and... and you don't need any.

222
00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:47,131
You got that stupid medical degree,

223
00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:48,774
that... That round butt,

224
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,481
that... that pretty face to fall back on.

225
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,159
Look, babe, I just got this.

226
00:09:52,194 --> 00:09:53,467
I'm a cool black dude.

227
00:09:53,729 --> 00:09:55,695
And if I'm not cool, I'm
just a black dude, all right,

228
00:09:55,731 --> 00:09:57,852
like Tim Duncan without the fundamentals.

229
00:09:57,866 --> 00:09:59,905
You're always gonna be cool to me.

230
00:10:00,196 --> 00:10:02,976
But you need to get the tooth
fixed before your birthday party.

231
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:04,719
I forgot we were still doing that.

232
00:10:04,722 --> 00:10:06,278
What? No. It's gonna be awesome.

233
00:10:06,429 --> 00:10:08,291
The neighbors are gonna come
over. They're gonna bring food.

234
00:10:08,336 --> 00:10:09,643
We're gonna play Celebrity.

235
00:10:09,678 --> 00:10:10,787
It's gonna be a Jammy Jam.

236
00:10:10,846 --> 00:10:11,788
- No!
- What?

237
00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,230
No, and don't you ever
say "Jammy Jam" again.

238
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,415
- Jammy Jam.
- N-n-no!

239
00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:16,541
- Jammy Jam!
- You stop it!

240
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,047
I don't want to have an old-guy party.

241
00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:19,403
- You know what?
- "Stop."

242
00:10:19,438 --> 00:10:20,854
- I'm gonna throw my own party.
- What?

243
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:23,241
And it's gonna be the
coolest and the swaggiest!

244
00:10:23,281 --> 00:10:24,917
And everybody's gonna come!

245
00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,800
They're gonna even
write about it on Bossip.

246
00:10:26,811 --> 00:10:27,756
- On...?
- You know, I might even

247
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,896
get my own dance out of it, called the Dre.

248
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,249
We just gonna do a
little something like this

249
00:10:31,307 --> 00:10:32,649
- and do it like that, and then we...
- No, no, no.

250
00:10:32,818 --> 00:10:34,095
- Bop! Bop!
- All right. Okay.

251
00:10:34,436 --> 00:10:35,915
- Ow! Ow.
- Yes. Be careful.

252
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,756
Hurt my neck. You know what? We'll find it.

253
00:10:37,973 --> 00:10:40,982
Yep. You need to find
it 'cause you are lost.

254
00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:45,264
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Night and day ♪

255
00:10:45,338 --> 00:10:47,919
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Night and day ♪

256
00:10:48,071 --> 00:10:49,778
♪ Baby ♪

257
00:10:50,152 --> 00:10:53,662
I feel like this has been
done before, but... Better.

258
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:54,910
Aw!

259
00:10:55,096 --> 00:10:56,647
Maybe a talent show is a bad idea.

260
00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:59,522
I mean, he's our dad, and he's a sap.

261
00:10:59,622 --> 00:11:01,450
We got to tug on some heartstrings.

262
00:11:02,263 --> 00:11:04,637
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

263
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,242
Hey, everybody!

264
00:11:06,402 --> 00:11:09,436
I hear it's Dre Johnson's birthday!

265
00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:11,818
- No.
- No.

266
00:11:13,342 --> 00:11:14,853
Sorry, handbone.

267
00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:17,782
You're a mess.

268
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:24,918
So, Operation Swag Back was in full effect.

269
00:11:24,953 --> 00:11:26,648
I was planning my big party,

270
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:28,698
and it was testing off the charts.

271
00:11:28,844 --> 00:11:31,025
- Ooh, this is crazy!
- I know, right?

272
00:11:31,177 --> 00:11:33,554
So, when everybody's leaving,
they'll get a thumb drive

273
00:11:33,674 --> 00:11:36,102
of all 40 tracks that they just partay'd to

274
00:11:36,281 --> 00:11:39,733
at the 40th birthday
partay to end all partays!

275
00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:41,739
Oh, hoo! Oh, man!

276
00:11:42,271 --> 00:11:43,670
You ain't giving them a chance, Dre!

277
00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:44,770
I'm killing 'em.

278
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,426
Vis-ion-ary.

279
00:11:46,461 --> 00:11:47,562
That's what they call me.

280
00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:48,991
You hear that, Curtis?

281
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:53,228
Everyone's gonna get a thumb drive
with the music from the partay.

282
00:11:53,649 --> 00:11:55,332
That's hilarious, man.

283
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,457
Can you imagine somebody
actually doing that?

284
00:11:57,715 --> 00:11:59,439
Huh?

285
00:12:00,989 --> 00:12:02,342
Oh, that's actually happening?

286
00:12:02,575 --> 00:12:05,561
Y-you know what? That's... that's
probably gonna be tight, boss man. Yep.

287
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,839
Damn right it's gonna be tight.

288
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,787
I throw a fly party. You'll see.

289
00:12:09,149 --> 00:12:10,377
You got to come through.

290
00:12:10,465 --> 00:12:11,831
I-I got to come through?

291
00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:13,790
Is that like a mandatory work thing or...?

292
00:12:14,269 --> 00:12:15,735
You kn... you know what? It's cool.

293
00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:18,796
I'm sure it'll be done early enough
for me to do something fun afterwards.

294
00:12:18,831 --> 00:12:20,040
What...

295
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,842
Uh, what you talking about hitting later?

296
00:12:22,878 --> 00:12:26,141
'Cause I'll probably do a lap
at dude's thing and then bounce.

297
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,867
Charlie.

298
00:12:28,116 --> 00:12:30,165
You literally just called me a visionary.

299
00:12:32,521 --> 00:12:33,453
Let it go, Dre.

300
00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:34,779
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on.

301
00:12:34,905 --> 00:12:36,699
You really think my party's gonna be whack?

302
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:38,398
All right, look, to be honest with you...

303
00:12:40,449 --> 00:12:41,987
It sounds like a Jammy Jam.

304
00:12:42,077 --> 00:12:43,434
- Damn!
- What?

305
00:12:43,599 --> 00:12:45,922
Jammy Jam? Okay, hold. What would you do?

306
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:47,676
I don't know.

307
00:12:47,819 --> 00:12:50,423
Uh, maybe a rotating bullpen of deejays.

308
00:12:50,472 --> 00:12:51,371
Okay.

309
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:53,569
And let's talk about staff. SMADS.

310
00:12:53,709 --> 00:12:54,874
SMADS?

311
00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,418
Singer, model, actress, dancer. Right?

312
00:12:57,453 --> 00:13:00,098
So, Curtis went on to
describe an incredible party,

313
00:13:00,215 --> 00:13:03,698
and I realized I had a new party planner.

314
00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:07,850
And you put that all together and you
do it at a crazy-cool secret hot spot,

315
00:13:08,661 --> 00:13:10,867
that's how you throw a party in 2015.

316
00:13:10,926 --> 00:13:12,475
Wow. Okay, I'm with that.

317
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:14,813
Now, he's the visionary.

318
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:17,594
And you inviting me to a Jammy Jam.

319
00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:20,907
Now, what size are these SMADS?

320
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:23,233
- Because I like thick'ums.
- Wha...

321
00:13:23,292 --> 00:13:25,104
So, it's my husband's 40th birthday,

322
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:27,746
and his favorite movie
growing up was "Beastmaster."

323
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:30,114
So, long story short...

324
00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,608
How much for a ferret?

325
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,760
- Uh-huh.
- Dre's real gift finally came,

326
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:36,996
something he's been
wanting since he was 16...

327
00:13:38,505 --> 00:13:39,853
Motorcycle lessons.

328
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,245
Cost a fortune.

329
00:13:42,444 --> 00:13:44,491
But can you really put a price

330
00:13:44,526 --> 00:13:46,736
on making your baby's dreams come true?

331
00:13:48,302 --> 00:13:49,891
It's a lot.

332
00:13:52,434 --> 00:13:54,315
Okay, what about, like, a python?

333
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,557
O-or like a not-that-poisonous snake?

334
00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:58,434
So, with the party fast approaching,

335
00:13:58,606 --> 00:14:00,576
I put myself in Curtis' hands

336
00:14:00,735 --> 00:14:04,276
and let him turn me into a
swaggier version of myself.

337
00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:08,501
Now, I got this thing with
my hat that I do like this.

338
00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:09,533
Oh.

339
00:14:10,285 --> 00:14:12,314
Okay. Um... Really?

340
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,030
- You know, 'cause I can't see.
- What?

341
00:14:14,065 --> 00:14:18,141
Hey, Dad. Uh, for reasons we can't share,
we need you to help us get in the attic.

342
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,491
Okay. Slow your roll, son. I'm
getting swaggified right now.

343
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,331
- But, Dad, we need...
- Hey, hey, hey, baby girl.

344
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:24,341
Look, I only have a few
minutes with Curtis, all right?

345
00:14:24,441 --> 00:14:28,315
He's a very busy man, and he's taking
some valuable time from his day to help me.

346
00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:29,999
Aren't you his boss?

347
00:14:30,005 --> 00:14:31,730
- Get out of here! All right?!
- Ok.

348
00:14:31,832 --> 00:14:33,201
I'm trying to get swaggified!

349
00:14:33,245 --> 00:14:34,671
- Let's move on to the accoutrements.
- All right.

350
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,564
Now, in the club, they like
glow sticks, glow necklaces.

351
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,758
- Right.
- Weak.

352
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:41,454
- What?
- Glow mouth guard.

353
00:14:41,459 --> 00:14:43,291
What?! Get out of here!

354
00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:45,987
Oh! This is it!

355
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:49,095
- Okay, get me 600 of these.
- Yeah!

356
00:14:49,158 --> 00:14:51,058
So, on the evening of the party,

357
00:14:51,093 --> 00:14:53,115
I wanted to do a walk-through of the venue.

358
00:14:53,195 --> 00:14:56,300
Now, I know a lot of people think
Skid Row is a little ratchet,

359
00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:57,527
but trust me...

360
00:14:57,701 --> 00:14:59,198
- Mm-hmm.
- It's the business.

361
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,200
Okay. Yeah.

362
00:15:00,236 --> 00:15:02,304
T-that's what I'm looking
for... Ratchet business.

363
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:05,377
Word. Word. Like, I was
just here the other night,

364
00:15:05,808 --> 00:15:07,103
and it was sick!

365
00:15:11,046 --> 00:15:13,099
- What?
- Yo, uh...

366
00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:15,076
I could have swore it was right here.

367
00:15:15,171 --> 00:15:16,285
What?

368
00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:17,582
Damn, son.

369
00:15:18,869 --> 00:15:20,646
- What?
- They tore it down.

370
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:22,537
They... They tore it down?

371
00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:24,844
They tore it down!

372
00:15:25,094 --> 00:15:27,105
Tell me that spot ain't cool. What?

373
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,260
Are you hearing yourself right now?

374
00:15:29,314 --> 00:15:32,531
I have 200 people coming
to my 40th birthday party,

375
00:15:32,661 --> 00:15:34,902
and you're telling me I don't have a venue.

376
00:15:34,948 --> 00:15:37,591
I'm telling you that I
found a venue so cool...

377
00:15:37,763 --> 00:15:39,406
That it's gone.

378
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,931
You are welcome.

379
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:42,782
Oh.

380
00:15:43,121 --> 00:15:43,994
Uh...

381
00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:45,554
So, you saying no to this?

382
00:15:45,786 --> 00:15:47,599
'Cause this will still work, boss!

383
00:15:49,939 --> 00:15:53,378
We'll get some... we'll get some
fold-out chairs and a jumper!

384
00:15:55,515 --> 00:15:59,192
So, we just need one last piece
from dad, and we're done, right?

385
00:15:58,227 --> 00:16:00,213
Yep, and I don't want to sound corny,

386
00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:02,113
but putting this much
thought into his gift...

387
00:16:02,148 --> 00:16:03,987
Kind of making me love him even more.

388
00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:05,390
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

389
00:16:05,902 --> 00:16:07,439
- Bow.
- Hey, Dad, can we...

390
00:16:07,474 --> 00:16:08,936
- Not now. Okay, guys?
- But we really...

391
00:16:08,971 --> 00:16:10,434
I said, "not now."

392
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:14,355
This is what I get for opening my heart.

393
00:16:14,617 --> 00:16:17,289
Babe, I can't believe Curtis
messed up my whole party.

394
00:16:17,419 --> 00:16:18,834
And this jacket is tight.

395
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,712
Yeah, if you like purple leather.

396
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,418
No. I mean literally tight.

397
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:23,893
Like, I can barely move my arms.

398
00:16:23,928 --> 00:16:26,049
You know, babe, if you think about it,

399
00:16:26,084 --> 00:16:29,385
this whole party fiasco is
someone else's fault entirely.

400
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,360
Mm-hmm.

401
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,645
- Yours.
- I...

402
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,075
No. I'm pretty sure it's Curtis' fault.

403
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:35,182
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

404
00:16:35,217 --> 00:16:36,630
'Cause, you know, the
Dre I fell in love with

405
00:16:36,665 --> 00:16:38,821
had so much swag that he
would have trusted himself

406
00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:41,243
instead of turning his
party over to some kid.

407
00:16:41,882 --> 00:16:43,042
Huh.

408
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,766
Yeah, you're right. It was Curtis' fault.

409
00:16:45,801 --> 00:16:47,992
What I need to do is salvage this party.

410
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:49,636
Okay.

411
00:16:51,216 --> 00:16:52,963
Nate. What up, little man?

412
00:16:52,998 --> 00:16:54,978
I need six cases... Champagne.

413
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:56,327
It's going down!

414
00:16:56,461 --> 00:16:58,562
With two hours to go until the party

415
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,356
and no venue, no food, and no music,

416
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:03,846
I had no choice but to go old-school

417
00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:06,374
and use my contacts to throw a house party.

418
00:17:07,377 --> 00:17:10,871
But for it to be a truly
epic Dre Johnson joint,

419
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,565
I also had to call in a favor.

420
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,755
Yo, J.D.

421
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,234
What's up, man? It's Dre.

422
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:16,881
Yo, Dre, what's up?

423
00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:19,606
I sold like 250 million records.

424
00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:22,498
Uh... Yeah. I know.

425
00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:24,367
Hey, hey, listen, I need a favor, brother.

426
00:17:24,402 --> 00:17:25,856
Man, anything for you.

427
00:17:25,891 --> 00:17:27,359
I discovered Bow Wow.

428
00:17:28,056 --> 00:17:30,467
Okay. I-I don't see what
that has to do with anything.

429
00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:32,860
But, um, look, man, I'm
glad you can help me out.

430
00:17:32,895 --> 00:17:35,137
So, So Def.

431
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,102
Okay.

432
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,224
Okay.

433
00:17:42,023 --> 00:17:43,814
Hey!

434
00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:47,037
So, by the time the first guests
arrived, I'd pulled it off.

435
00:17:47,072 --> 00:17:48,253
♪ Go, shorty, it's your birthday ♪

436
00:17:48,288 --> 00:17:49,750
Somebody put your hands
in the air one time!

437
00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:51,675
♪ We gonna party like
it's your birthday ♪

438
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:53,931
And it was cool.

439
00:17:53,966 --> 00:17:55,346
You still just gonna take that lap?

440
00:17:55,594 --> 00:17:56,718
Or are you gonna stay?

441
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:58,899
Oh, oh, oh, I ain't going nowhere.

442
00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:00,581
Hey, hey, Dad.

443
00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:02,819
- Oh, hey, Zoey.
- So, I was wondering if you could...

444
00:18:02,854 --> 00:18:05,834
Hey, boss man, this party is bananas!

445
00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:07,096
Give me one second, okay?

446
00:18:07,131 --> 00:18:07,880
Ah.

447
00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:10,022
- A party at your own house?
- Mm-hmm.

448
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,432
How'd you think of that?

449
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,835
'Cause he's the best, "New School."

450
00:18:14,337 --> 00:18:16,364
And stop asking me to go to
that thing with you later.

451
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,776
I'm staying at dude's party.

452
00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:20,895
Uh, so, Dad...

453
00:18:21,019 --> 00:18:23,238
I was wondering, before
it's not your birthday,

454
00:18:23,273 --> 00:18:24,939
- if we could actually show you...
- Yo! Yo! Yo, party people!

455
00:18:24,974 --> 00:18:26,603
I go by the name of Jermaine Dupri,

456
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:30,105
and it's time that we give a big
shout-out to my man, Dre Johnson!

457
00:18:31,505 --> 00:18:33,413
- What's up?
- What up, J.D.?

458
00:18:33,448 --> 00:18:35,002
Hey, give me a second, Zo-Zo, okay?

459
00:18:35,176 --> 00:18:36,533
Happy Birthday, Dre.

460
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:37,954
Thanks, J.D.

461
00:18:37,989 --> 00:18:39,582
You know I danced for Whodini, right?

462
00:18:39,832 --> 00:18:41,300
Uh... Yes, I did.

463
00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:42,507
And I'm vegan.

464
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,359
- Like, no meat.
- Okay.

465
00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:45,507
Completely off the dairy.

466
00:18:45,754 --> 00:18:48,515
I did it. I got my swag back.

467
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,352
On no notice, I threw a killer party

468
00:18:50,387 --> 00:18:52,161
with the people I care most about.

469
00:18:53,124 --> 00:18:55,057
Wait. Where are the
people I care most about?

470
00:18:57,812 --> 00:18:58,799
Zo?

471
00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:00,516
Oh. You're all up here.

472
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:02,641
- What's going on?
- Nothing.

473
00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:05,398
We were all waiting up here to
show you the present we got you.

474
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:07,439
Well, where is my present, baby girl?

475
00:19:07,474 --> 00:19:09,131
No, it can wait till after the party.

476
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:10,756
Jermaine Dupri's spinning.

477
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:12,205
He made "Money ain't a Thing."

478
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,761
He told me while I was waiting
behind him at the taco bar.

479
00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:17,731
Okay, look, look, look,
the party can wait, okay?

480
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,822
Now, where's my gift?

481
00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:20,960
All right.

482
00:19:20,995 --> 00:19:22,009
Sit down.

483
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,146
Oh. "Sit down." Okay.

484
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:27,657
Oh.

485
00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:34,396
♪ Let's dance in style,
let's dance for a while ♪

486
00:19:34,431 --> 00:19:37,866
♪ Heaven can wait, we're
only watching the skies ♪

487
00:19:37,902 --> 00:19:40,435
♪ Hoping for the best
but expecting the worst ♪

488
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:44,173
♪ Are you gonna drop the bomb or not? ♪

489
00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:47,075
♪ Let us die young or
let us live forever ♪

490
00:19:47,111 --> 00:19:50,232
I'd been so obsessed
with getting my swag back,

491
00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:54,416
but then I realized the only people
you really need to have swagger for

492
00:19:54,451 --> 00:19:57,495
are the people who don't
care if you have any at all.

493
00:19:57,688 --> 00:20:00,422
♪ Forever young, I want
to be forever young ♪

494
00:20:00,457 --> 00:20:01,685
Look at my family.

495
00:20:01,686 --> 00:20:03,708
_

496
00:20:03,794 --> 00:20:06,013
♪ Do you really want to live forever? ♪

497
00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:06,860
Hey.

498
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,266
♪ Forever... ♪

499
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,065
I love you guys.

500
00:20:11,201 --> 00:20:12,644
We love you, too.

501
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:19,172
- The kids did a nice job.
- Mm-hmm.

502
00:20:19,207 --> 00:20:22,015
So, what'd you end up getting your man?

503
00:20:22,050 --> 00:20:23,662
Oh, nothing big.

504
00:20:23,697 --> 00:20:27,626
Just those four children over
there making him cry tears of joy.

505
00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:29,371
- Cop-out.
- Oh.

506
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,580
Also, later tonight,

507
00:20:32,615 --> 00:20:34,772
I plan on doing things to your son

508
00:20:34,807 --> 00:20:38,602
that are gonna make it very hard for
him to ride a motorcycle anytime soon.

509
00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:40,840
Girl, I don't want to hear that!

510
00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:41,935
[Gasps] Oh, no, no.
Wait! Unh-unh! Unh-unh!

511
00:20:42,072 --> 00:20:44,092
- Wait! Wait. That came out wrong!
- Oh, no, no.

512
00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:45,442
it's nasty.

513
00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,915
- No, but it came out wrong.
- I don't want to think about it, for the love of god.

514
00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:52,930
sync and corrected by MVLJR
www.addic7ed.com