1 00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:02,468 As a parent, you're always questioning 2 00:00:02,593 --> 00:00:05,257 whether or not you're doing the right thing for your kids. 3 00:00:05,602 --> 00:00:07,326 Am I giving them enough attention? 4 00:00:07,371 --> 00:00:08,737 Dad? 5 00:00:08,772 --> 00:00:10,138 Dad! 6 00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:11,806 Refill that for your old man. 7 00:00:14,011 --> 00:00:16,044 Am I saying the right things? 8 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,079 Dad, what was Mom like when you met her? 9 00:00:18,115 --> 00:00:19,314 Loose. 10 00:00:19,349 --> 00:00:20,649 Loose. 11 00:00:20,684 --> 00:00:24,486 Am I handling situations in the best way possible? 12 00:00:24,521 --> 00:00:26,021 Ah-choo! 13 00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:33,086 Ah-choo! 14 00:00:34,411 --> 00:00:35,701 Ah! 15 00:00:35,748 --> 00:00:37,814 Doesn't feel so good, does it? 16 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:40,484 But the one thing you have to get right as a parent 17 00:00:40,519 --> 00:00:42,419 is making sure you get your kid ready 18 00:00:42,454 --> 00:00:45,083 for the next chapter in life... college. 19 00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:46,732 Hey, Junior. Catching this? 20 00:00:46,802 --> 00:00:47,658 All over it, Dad. 21 00:00:47,693 --> 00:00:48,825 Here we are. 22 00:00:48,861 --> 00:00:50,460 College acceptance day. 23 00:00:50,496 --> 00:00:52,796 Zoey's future is one click away. 24 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:56,800 I got in! Oh, gosh. Oh, God! 25 00:00:56,835 --> 00:00:59,503 Yes, congratulations, baby! I knew you could do it! 26 00:00:59,538 --> 00:01:00,537 I knew you could do it! 27 00:01:00,572 --> 00:01:02,005 In your face, Junior! 28 00:01:02,041 --> 00:01:03,206 Look at that. 29 00:01:03,242 --> 00:01:04,341 Why? 30 00:01:04,376 --> 00:01:05,542 Where, where, where, where'd you get in? 31 00:01:05,577 --> 00:01:07,344 NYU. I got in to NYU! 32 00:01:07,379 --> 00:01:08,879 NYU?! Yes! 33 00:01:08,914 --> 00:01:12,195 NYU. That... That's in New York. 34 00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:13,835 Oh, okay. 35 00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:15,639 Maybe she doesn't need to go to college. 36 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:17,225 Jesus didn't, and he was fine. 37 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:26,102 Uh, New York is pretty far away. Yeah. 38 00:01:26,137 --> 00:01:29,072 And so is Miami, where I just got in! 39 00:01:29,107 --> 00:01:30,139 Miami! 40 00:01:32,606 --> 00:01:34,364 - Yay. Good for you. - Excuse me. 41 00:01:34,419 --> 00:01:36,169 Uh, let me know if you need a linen guy. 42 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,830 Wa-Wa-Wait, I-I may not need one, 43 00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:39,832 because I just got in to Vanderbilt, too! 44 00:01:39,868 --> 00:01:41,868 Vanderbilt, Vanderbilt! 45 00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:43,236 Wait, where is Vanderbilt? 46 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,637 Tennessee. 47 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,005 Above Alabama. 48 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,807 Below Kentucky. 49 00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,375 It's that way. 50 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:51,534 Ooh! I got in to Southern Cal, too! 51 00:01:51,543 --> 00:01:52,511 No way! 52 00:01:52,616 --> 00:01:54,881 Boom! That's what I'm talking about! 53 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:57,617 Southern Cal is the best school in the country, baby girl! 54 00:01:57,652 --> 00:01:58,951 Congratulations! 55 00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:00,486 Best school in the country? 56 00:02:00,522 --> 00:02:02,221 That's not even the best school in L.A. 57 00:02:02,257 --> 00:02:03,422 Shut up, Junior! 58 00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,057 - What do you know, huh? - Dre! 59 00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:07,260 Baby, he is talking out of his ass. 60 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,295 Congratulations on getting out of here, Zoey. 61 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,329 Thank you. 62 00:02:10,365 --> 00:02:11,664 But it's not all great news. 63 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,566 I... didn't get in to Brown, Mom. 64 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:14,534 Aw. Aw. That's all right. 65 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:15,201 Boom! 66 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,670 In your face, Dad! 67 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,172 Oh. 68 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,173 Well, you know what? 69 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,775 I am so proud of you, Zoey. 70 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,577 For all the work that you've done this year! 71 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,279 I knew you could do it! 72 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,247 I never thought she could do it. 73 00:02:28,283 --> 00:02:30,583 Dre, she not only got in to college... 74 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,084 she has choices. 75 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,853 She's a rock star! 76 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:34,754 Yeah. 77 00:02:34,789 --> 00:02:36,289 This is all your fault. 78 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:38,291 - What's my fault? - You made our daughter believe 79 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,659 that she could do anything. 80 00:02:39,694 --> 00:02:41,494 You did this. 81 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,728 I'm a monster. 82 00:02:42,764 --> 00:02:43,829 Yes. You are. 83 00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:45,231 And because of that, she's gonna go 84 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,400 clear across the country to go to college. 85 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,469 Honey, I understand what you're feeling. 86 00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:52,505 But I'm gonna miss her just as much as you. 87 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,874 No, you won't. 88 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:57,243 Because you don't love her like I do. 89 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,745 She and I are each other's favorite. 90 00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:01,948 Oh. My favorite. 91 00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:02,882 Mm. 92 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,951 I mean, why do I need a will? 93 00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:07,320 All I ask is that you're fair and give your siblings 94 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,622 whatever it is you don't want, okay? 95 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,190 Oh. There they go. 96 00:03:12,994 --> 00:03:17,463 We got you, and we got it all on video! 97 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,966 And it's posted. 98 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:21,234 Whatever. 99 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:23,836 Zoey and I have a special relationship, too. 100 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,974 - Hey. - I was just wondering, 101 00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:30,243 if, you know, you want to... 102 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:34,380 just talk about anything... special, 103 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,482 you know, just girl-to-girl. 104 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:38,985 Gross. 105 00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:40,886 Hey, girl. 106 00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:42,388 Go away. 107 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,023 Hey! Hi! 108 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,391 How was school, today? 109 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,294 - Great. The funniest thing happened... - Oh, tell me! 110 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,028 Wha... ? 111 00:03:50,031 --> 00:03:52,798 She's not very nice to me. 112 00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:54,634 Mm. 113 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:57,703 Why did I expect the woman I married to understand me? 114 00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:59,805 I needed real help on this one. 115 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:01,274 Well, I know how to stop your daughter 116 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,042 from going to New York, Dre. 117 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,677 Did you ever see the movie "Room?" 118 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,545 Is that the one where the girl gets kidnapped 119 00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:07,780 and thrown into a shed? 120 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,348 Yeah, but she gets away. 121 00:04:09,384 --> 00:04:10,616 Okay, forget it, guys. 122 00:04:10,652 --> 00:04:11,984 Sorry I asked. 123 00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:14,620 Hey, lookit. I don't know why you have to argue, Dre. 124 00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:18,190 I mean, we have practically raised your kids for you. 125 00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:19,959 My kids are spoiled rotten. 126 00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,494 Well, has it occurred to you 127 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:24,096 that maybe you're not buying them enough stuff? 128 00:04:24,132 --> 00:04:25,164 What? 129 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,366 Well, this big white kid bullying my son. 130 00:04:27,402 --> 00:04:28,467 A white bully? 131 00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:29,502 Easy! 132 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,037 Just go straight for the throat balls. 133 00:04:31,072 --> 00:04:32,238 Right? Am I... ? 134 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:36,475 You have got to keep tabs on your kids at all times. 135 00:04:36,511 --> 00:04:38,144 Technology will let you do that. 136 00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:39,779 Like right now, 137 00:04:39,814 --> 00:04:42,481 my boys are... in my kitchen 138 00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:45,384 filling a gunny-sack full of cantaloupes. 139 00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:47,119 Ooh. Can't go home right now. 140 00:04:47,155 --> 00:04:48,387 Why don't you ever listen, Dre? 141 00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:49,889 These guys are dropping gems. 142 00:04:49,924 --> 00:04:51,590 Thank you, doodlebug. 143 00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:53,893 Hey. I don't know how you're gonna do it, Dre. 144 00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,861 I can't even leave my cat home alone. 145 00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:58,130 By the way, my cat is in my office. 146 00:04:58,166 --> 00:04:59,965 He's too sick to go to daycare today. 147 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,002 Yeah, I got to go. 148 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,970 Coming, Andre Johnson! 149 00:05:05,006 --> 00:05:06,339 Huh? 150 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,740 I named him that before I met you. 151 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,842 I have proof. 152 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,912 Uh, did you ever think about just breaking her, Dre? 153 00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:14,914 What? You know, crushing her soul 154 00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:17,450 so she doesn't have the confidence to leave you. 155 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,318 I do that with all the women in my life. 156 00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:21,220 That's definitely what you did to Mom. 157 00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,389 Ah, yeah. That was some of my best work. 158 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:25,272 She was a tough break. 159 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,931 Okay. For some reason, I don't think 160 00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:29,300 breaking my daughter is the right approach. 161 00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:30,568 I don't know, Dre. 162 00:05:30,604 --> 00:05:32,504 I stopped feeding Eustace when he refused 163 00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:34,506 to push my hernia back in. 164 00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,474 But on day five... 165 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:40,778 he manned uppity-up up up uppity-up up up. 166 00:05:40,814 --> 00:05:42,247 Two too many "ups". 167 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,917 Okay, so here are the Carolinas. 168 00:05:45,952 --> 00:05:48,386 There's North Carolina, and there's... 169 00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,654 Sweet Carolina. 170 00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:51,623 Don't worry. 171 00:05:51,658 --> 00:05:53,158 I'll never let them take you. 172 00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:55,260 All right. Now we have to figure out a way 173 00:05:55,295 --> 00:05:57,462 to keep Zoey from going to Vanderbilt. 174 00:05:57,497 --> 00:05:58,863 What's wrong with Vanderbilt? 175 00:05:58,899 --> 00:06:00,798 Zoey's not ready for Tennessee. 176 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,334 They got deep-fried racism down there. 177 00:06:03,370 --> 00:06:06,004 She's used to this ocean-breeze racism out here. 178 00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:08,573 Uh, but we don't get to pick where Zoey goes to college. 179 00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:10,975 You're thinking about this "going to college" thing all wrong, son. 180 00:06:11,011 --> 00:06:13,444 You've got to make Zoey's education work for you. 181 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,852 It's not about where she wants to go. 182 00:06:16,024 --> 00:06:17,615 It's about where you want to visit her. 183 00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:18,616 It is? 184 00:06:18,652 --> 00:06:20,852 What, do you think I sent Dre to Howard 185 00:06:20,907 --> 00:06:22,258 because I thought it was good for him? 186 00:06:22,337 --> 00:06:22,854 No. 187 00:06:22,889 --> 00:06:26,716 I sent Dre to Howard because I had a little lady friend 188 00:06:26,756 --> 00:06:28,723 over in Virginia who I couldn't get enough of. 189 00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:30,091 Aww. Grandma? 190 00:06:30,127 --> 00:06:31,292 She had a grandma. 191 00:06:32,496 --> 00:06:34,796 I couldn't take Charlie and Stevens' advice 192 00:06:34,831 --> 00:06:38,900 to ruin my daughter, but I could ruin New York. 193 00:06:38,935 --> 00:06:40,101 Ow! 194 00:06:40,137 --> 00:06:41,069 Kaboom! 195 00:06:41,104 --> 00:06:42,370 What the hell?! 196 00:06:42,405 --> 00:06:44,772 Hey, that's what happens when you live in New York City. 197 00:06:44,808 --> 00:06:47,175 They throw snowballs... at your face. 198 00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:48,076 - Dre. - Hm? 199 00:06:48,111 --> 00:06:49,777 You could've really hurt her. 200 00:06:49,813 --> 00:06:51,679 Could have? This was mostly ice. 201 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:54,015 Hey, if this was Brooklyn, it would've been a tire. 202 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:55,216 A ti... wha... ? 203 00:06:55,252 --> 00:06:57,485 I don't know. I don't know. What? 204 00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,254 And then I doubled down 205 00:06:59,289 --> 00:07:03,091 and gave Zoey a taste of a real New York night. 206 00:07:15,272 --> 00:07:17,038 So loud. 207 00:07:17,073 --> 00:07:19,107 So cold. 208 00:07:21,378 --> 00:07:24,312 Finally, I went for the jugular. 209 00:07:24,381 --> 00:07:26,749 I can't find my car keys. 210 00:07:26,788 --> 00:07:28,316 Oh. Really? 211 00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:30,834 Okay, this isn't funny, Dad. 212 00:07:30,869 --> 00:07:32,335 I'm gonna be late for school. 213 00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:34,404 Well, when you live in New York... 214 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,173 your car is your feet. 215 00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,307 Better get to stepping. 216 00:07:37,342 --> 00:07:39,076 Oh, my God. 217 00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:39,843 Dad! 218 00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:40,911 - Oh! - What? 219 00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:42,045 See, now you know what it feels like 220 00:07:42,081 --> 00:07:43,914 to walk in the snow and slush in New York. 221 00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:45,682 Oh! Can't forget about this. 222 00:07:46,752 --> 00:07:49,319 Hey! I'm walking here! 223 00:07:49,354 --> 00:07:50,520 We got the best pizza. 224 00:07:50,556 --> 00:07:52,289 Ah, fuhgeddaboudit. 225 00:07:52,324 --> 00:07:54,357 Ay! Lena Dunham's 226 00:07:54,393 --> 00:07:55,859 doing performance art 227 00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:58,829 down at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. 228 00:07:58,864 --> 00:08:01,198 Ba-da-bing! 229 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:07,637 Why can't you be the one going to college? 230 00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:11,975 So I was feeling pretty confident 231 00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,578 that my anti-New York message was sinking in. 232 00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:15,412 Dre? 233 00:08:15,447 --> 00:08:16,446 Hey, babe. Hey. 234 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,848 Where's Zoey? 235 00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,983 I want to show her this video of the Puerto Rican Day parade. 236 00:08:20,018 --> 00:08:22,219 Uh, speaking of New York, Dre... 237 00:08:22,254 --> 00:08:24,455 for some reason, 238 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:27,533 winters are really starting to worry Zoey. 239 00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:29,702 Oh. Is that right? 240 00:08:29,737 --> 00:08:32,338 Ta-da! 241 00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:34,807 Mom bought me winter clothes. 242 00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:36,976 Perfect for the snow and the slush. 243 00:08:37,011 --> 00:08:38,678 Yeah, who knew that layers 244 00:08:38,713 --> 00:08:40,279 would look so good on her? 245 00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,814 I mean, I kind of had a hunch. 246 00:08:41,849 --> 00:08:42,782 Well... 247 00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:51,839 With Zoey now clearly leaning towards New York, 248 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,960 there was only one thing left to do. 249 00:08:53,996 --> 00:08:56,763 It was time for the nuclear option. 250 00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:59,766 Dre. Are you doing what I think you're doing? 251 00:08:59,801 --> 00:09:01,368 You're damn right I am. 252 00:09:01,403 --> 00:09:03,603 Oh, God. What's wrong with you? 253 00:09:03,638 --> 00:09:06,639 Why are you always making slide shows? 254 00:09:06,675 --> 00:09:08,675 - How dare you. - Huh? 255 00:09:09,335 --> 00:09:10,701 All right, this is different from when 256 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,250 they closed "World on Wheels" 257 00:09:12,308 --> 00:09:14,375 or when the Clippers got rid of Chris Kaman. 258 00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,152 All right, this slide show 259 00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,087 will keep my baby girl from going away. 260 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:21,691 Dre, a slide show did not work on Donald Sterling, 261 00:09:21,726 --> 00:09:24,560 and it is not gonna work on Zoey. 262 00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:26,029 Okay, what's the problem with me doing this, huh? 263 00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,230 Hmm? Hmm? 264 00:09:27,265 --> 00:09:29,332 I'm not saying, "Don't go to college, Zoey." 265 00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,134 I'm just saying, "Don't go to college far away." 266 00:09:31,169 --> 00:09:34,070 Dre, Zoey is growing up and maturing. 267 00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:36,497 All of our kids are. And you know what? 268 00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:38,348 I can't deal with you having a meltdown 269 00:09:38,434 --> 00:09:40,143 every time one of our kids 270 00:09:40,178 --> 00:09:42,245 shows signs of being an adult. 271 00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:49,786 Oh. 272 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,556 What's wrong? 273 00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:55,091 F-F-Forgot... 274 00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:57,460 Forgot to put on... deodorant. 275 00:09:57,495 --> 00:09:58,695 I was gonna say something, 276 00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:02,198 but I was like, "Hm, she should be able to smell that." 277 00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,267 LeBron James... 278 00:10:04,302 --> 00:10:07,371 could have gone anywhere he wanted, 279 00:10:07,535 --> 00:10:11,070 but he chose to take his talents to South Beach. 280 00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:12,104 What does that say? 281 00:10:12,139 --> 00:10:13,806 It says that he was ring chasing. 282 00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:16,608 The guy just wanted to play with his friends! 283 00:10:18,913 --> 00:10:22,147 The King chose Miami because it's the best. 284 00:10:22,183 --> 00:10:23,715 It's hot. 285 00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:24,883 It's sexy. 286 00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:26,385 It's all the way live. 287 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,554 Wait, are you guys lobbying 288 00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:30,322 for me to go to the University of Miami? 289 00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:32,458 Hey, that's his thing, not mine. 290 00:10:32,493 --> 00:10:35,861 The only good thing to come out of Miami is an empty bus. 291 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,129 Are you kidding?! 292 00:10:37,164 --> 00:10:39,431 Where else can you go to the beach during the day, 293 00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:42,701 party all night, and then ride an alligator to school? 294 00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:47,673 Seriously. I'm asking. 295 00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:52,711 Oh, God. 296 00:10:55,217 --> 00:10:56,216 Bow, you all right? 297 00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,054 Pops. 298 00:11:00,089 --> 00:11:02,356 I just saw Junior... 299 00:11:02,391 --> 00:11:04,158 kissing... 300 00:11:04,553 --> 00:11:05,719 Megan. 301 00:11:06,429 --> 00:11:07,828 Oh, that... that little white girl? 302 00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:08,862 Yes. 303 00:11:08,898 --> 00:11:10,331 I marched so he could do that. 304 00:11:10,366 --> 00:11:11,398 You should have seen them. 305 00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:13,200 It was like they were two... 306 00:11:13,235 --> 00:11:16,604 blind, clumsy animals just... 307 00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,172 eating each others' faces. 308 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,654 That's quite the visual. 309 00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:21,398 When did this happen? 310 00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:23,107 When did this happen?! 311 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,732 I mean, it was just yesterday 312 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:27,368 that Dre was giving him the sex talk. 313 00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:28,436 What's that? 314 00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:30,137 Just a comfortable man with no shirt on 315 00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:32,039 talking to his son about nasty stuff. 316 00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,644 Whew! Really feeling the A.C. in here. 317 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,112 Am I standing under a vent? 318 00:11:38,147 --> 00:11:39,680 So your boy's growing up. 319 00:11:39,821 --> 00:11:40,715 Mm-hmm. 320 00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,517 Well, you ought to be celebrating the fact 321 00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:43,751 that he's getting a little action. 322 00:11:45,088 --> 00:11:46,954 Didn't always look like it was gonna go that way for him. 323 00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:50,458 Oh, no! My Hobbit Shire! 324 00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:52,593 Field hockey?! 325 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,128 Man, isn't that a woman's sport? 326 00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:57,098 Nope. Um, a lot of people think that, though. 327 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,333 Dad! I finally got the coffee order right! 328 00:11:59,369 --> 00:12:00,968 No! 329 00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:04,872 - My precious little baby boy. - Mm-hmm. 330 00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:06,140 I don't know if I can handle 331 00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:07,909 my kids growing up. 332 00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:10,416 I feel like I'm losing them. 333 00:12:10,452 --> 00:12:12,151 No, you never lose them. 334 00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:14,487 Trust me on that, 'cause I done tried. 335 00:12:14,523 --> 00:12:15,922 Aww, stop. 336 00:12:15,957 --> 00:12:17,824 The good news is, you still got two babies left. 337 00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:20,193 The twins. Mm-hmm. 338 00:12:20,228 --> 00:12:21,394 That's right. Ah. 339 00:12:21,429 --> 00:12:23,196 - Thank you, Pops. - That's what I'm here for... 340 00:12:23,231 --> 00:12:24,931 to remind of the children you forgot you had. 341 00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:28,334 Oh! Well, wait! Hold on! 342 00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:29,469 I got this one. 343 00:12:29,504 --> 00:12:31,170 And that's just crazy. 344 00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,872 I-I... 345 00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:35,275 Well, I mean... 346 00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:37,977 Charlie may have had bad ideas about parenting, 347 00:12:38,013 --> 00:12:40,647 but he knew his way around a slide show. 348 00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:43,342 You should use that one of Bow in the swimsuit. 349 00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:44,334 Uh... 350 00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:45,218 I don't think it's right for this. 351 00:12:45,253 --> 00:12:46,386 Mm. 352 00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:48,179 Can you send me that? 353 00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:50,382 That's my wife, man. 354 00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:51,716 I know! 355 00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:54,486 Does she ever ask about me? 356 00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:56,588 - Keep it real. - No. Charlie. 357 00:12:56,623 --> 00:12:58,089 She doesn't. 358 00:13:00,093 --> 00:13:02,527 All right, now back to this music cue. 359 00:13:02,562 --> 00:13:03,795 I've got, uh... 360 00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,764 - "Wind Beneath My Wings... " - Mm-hmm. 361 00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:07,532 - ... or "On The Wings Of Love... - Mm-hmm. 362 00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:10,402 ... or "Take These Broken Wings." 363 00:13:10,437 --> 00:13:12,504 My cousin Nick used to have wings. 364 00:13:12,539 --> 00:13:14,673 I used to hate when he borrowed one of my shirts. 365 00:13:15,709 --> 00:13:16,775 You know what? Uh... 366 00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,276 I think I'm just gonna do a medley. 367 00:13:18,312 --> 00:13:19,544 Medley? 368 00:13:19,579 --> 00:13:21,546 Medleys are for vegetables, Dre. 369 00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:24,653 There's only one song that truly captures the love 370 00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:26,567 between father and child. 371 00:13:27,487 --> 00:13:29,120 You're right. 372 00:13:31,325 --> 00:13:33,558 Oh, hell, no. 373 00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,894 - Oh, see, I know what happened. - ♪ Another walk ♪ 374 00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,295 What? I died on the table. 375 00:13:37,331 --> 00:13:38,530 Now I'm in hell. Come on, come on, come on. 376 00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:39,564 ♪ Another dance with him ♪ 377 00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:40,932 Let's stretch it out. Stretch it out. 378 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,300 See, you always trying to lead. Ugh. 379 00:13:42,336 --> 00:13:43,635 There you go. Come on. Turn around. 380 00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:44,669 Ohh. 381 00:13:44,705 --> 00:13:47,005 I was gonna say "Sexual Healing." 382 00:13:47,797 --> 00:13:49,263 "Sexual Healing?" 383 00:13:49,352 --> 00:13:51,523 This is my daughter, Charlie. 384 00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:52,878 What... What's wrong with you?! 385 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,080 I don't know what you're going for. 386 00:13:56,851 --> 00:13:57,986 NYU is the move. 387 00:13:58,049 --> 00:13:59,949 Point blank and period. 388 00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:01,117 Wait a second... 389 00:14:01,152 --> 00:14:02,818 so Jack wants me to go to Miami 390 00:14:02,854 --> 00:14:04,420 but you want me to go to NYU? 391 00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:05,921 - Mm-hmm. - Let me be clear. 392 00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:07,523 I just want you to go to the school 393 00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,825 where you have the best chance academically. 394 00:14:09,861 --> 00:14:11,060 And I'll be honest, 395 00:14:11,095 --> 00:14:12,762 I don't know what that school is. 396 00:14:12,797 --> 00:14:14,730 There's a magic in New York, 397 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:18,000 like walking out of your building in a strappy Manolo. 398 00:14:18,035 --> 00:14:20,397 Oh! Hailing a cab, 399 00:14:20,624 --> 00:14:22,381 covering your hair from the rain 400 00:14:22,413 --> 00:14:23,850 with The Village Voice. 401 00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,854 That does sound magical. 402 00:14:25,925 --> 00:14:26,792 Mm-hmm. 403 00:14:27,011 --> 00:14:29,545 But none of my friends got in to NYU. 404 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,547 Well, you'll make new friends, 405 00:14:31,582 --> 00:14:33,949 like Miranda and Charlotte. 406 00:14:33,985 --> 00:14:37,953 And when I visit you, we can have brunch and go shoe shopping 407 00:14:37,989 --> 00:14:40,022 and swing by our friend's art gallery. 408 00:14:40,992 --> 00:14:42,091 Diane... 409 00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:44,160 have you been watching "Sex and the City?" 410 00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:50,032 And that's when I couldn't help but wonder, 411 00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:53,469 would Zoey's education lead to my higher learning? 412 00:14:57,508 --> 00:14:58,841 Ohh. 413 00:14:58,876 --> 00:15:01,510 My babies are in bed. 414 00:15:01,546 --> 00:15:03,646 Who's ready for our ritual? 415 00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:08,217 Eskimo nuzzles! 416 00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:09,785 Butterfly kisses. 417 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,854 Um, Mom, Mom. We're cool. 418 00:15:11,889 --> 00:15:13,289 Oh. 419 00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:14,790 Okay. 420 00:15:21,232 --> 00:15:25,868 ♪ Goodnight, Diane ♪ 421 00:15:25,903 --> 00:15:28,671 ♪ Goodnight, Jack ♪ 422 00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:32,274 ♪ Now that you've had your ♪ 423 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:35,244 ♪ Bedtime snack ♪ 424 00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,480 - ♪ The sandman is coming ♪ - Mom. 425 00:15:37,515 --> 00:15:38,681 - ♪ The sandman is coming, the san... ♪ - Mom! 426 00:15:38,716 --> 00:15:40,416 Mom. We said we're cool. 427 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:43,912 What... What's wrong? 428 00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:46,636 You mean aside from being pitchy? 429 00:15:47,011 --> 00:15:48,972 But you guys love the Goodnight Song. 430 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,303 At this point, the whole bedtime ritual thing 431 00:15:52,339 --> 00:15:53,405 is more for you, 432 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,640 and I think you're getting to the age 433 00:15:55,675 --> 00:15:57,475 where we can stop pretending. 434 00:15:58,512 --> 00:15:59,878 But... 435 00:15:59,913 --> 00:16:01,279 you're my babies. 436 00:16:01,314 --> 00:16:02,947 Obama's the first black president? 437 00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:04,783 Sweetheart... 438 00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:05,950 do you want to sleep with me tonight? 439 00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:08,286 - Mm-hmm! - Okay, come on. Time for bed. 440 00:16:08,321 --> 00:16:10,789 - No! - Okay, okay. Okay. All right. 441 00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:11,790 Oh, gosh. 442 00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:14,392 Oh, my God! You are wearing a bow tie. 443 00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:15,827 I'm your little man. 444 00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:17,896 Mom... 445 00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:19,798 get a hold of yourself. 446 00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:21,099 I'm so pregnant, so... 447 00:16:21,134 --> 00:16:24,002 In another room, preferably. Bye. 448 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:29,908 Goodnight. 449 00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:36,748 Now, that is a much better picture. 450 00:16:36,783 --> 00:16:39,384 Dre, we've lost them. 451 00:16:39,419 --> 00:16:41,519 - What? - We've lost them all. 452 00:16:41,555 --> 00:16:43,855 Oh, gosh. 453 00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:47,592 This slide show needs to be 454 00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:51,162 the greatest the world has ever seen. 455 00:16:52,332 --> 00:16:54,032 Oh, it will be, babe. 456 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,099 Okay. 457 00:16:55,135 --> 00:16:57,202 - It will be. - Okay. 458 00:16:57,237 --> 00:16:58,636 What... Hey, wait. 459 00:16:59,573 --> 00:17:01,372 Why is there a picture of me 460 00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:03,107 in a bathing suit still in there? 461 00:17:03,143 --> 00:17:04,976 - That was from my personal file. - Mm-hmm. 462 00:17:05,011 --> 00:17:07,312 Yeah, it's for... another video. 463 00:17:09,089 --> 00:17:11,635 You know, I'm not feeling this dissolve. 464 00:17:11,808 --> 00:17:12,640 I'm not gonna say it again, Dre. 465 00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:14,450 No more star wipes. Okay. 466 00:17:14,512 --> 00:17:16,989 What the hell is going on in here? 467 00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:18,588 Me and my lady friend have been hearing 468 00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:21,591 "Dance With My Father" on repeat for the last two hours. 469 00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:22,825 And I thought y'all 470 00:17:22,861 --> 00:17:24,327 would've murder-suicided each other by now. 471 00:17:24,362 --> 00:17:25,595 Dre and I are making 472 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:27,964 - a slide show for Zoey, Pops. - Mm-hmm. 473 00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,433 Slide show? Yeah, well, not just any slide show. 474 00:17:30,468 --> 00:17:32,068 The ultimate slide show. 475 00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,403 The slide show to end all slide shows. 476 00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:36,105 Bow, I expect this from him, 477 00:17:36,141 --> 00:17:37,607 but not you. You're better that this. 478 00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,042 Not today, Pops! Okay? 479 00:17:40,078 --> 00:17:43,224 Because our kids are growing up way too fast, 480 00:17:43,294 --> 00:17:45,228 - and it has to stop! - Okay! Okay. 481 00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,629 So your daughter's going off to college, 482 00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:47,864 and you're freaking out for a moment. 483 00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:49,465 That's allowed. That's fine. 484 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,300 But isn't this what you wanted? 485 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,604 Isn't this why you both worked so hard, 486 00:17:54,639 --> 00:17:56,506 moved in to this white-ass neighborhood, 487 00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:58,241 sent her to that white-ass school 488 00:17:58,276 --> 00:18:01,077 so she could have all these white-ass opportunities? 489 00:18:03,548 --> 00:18:06,616 Let her go. 490 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,687 And, son, if you play that song one more time, 491 00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:13,156 not only will you never dance again, 492 00:18:13,191 --> 00:18:15,425 you'll never walk again, either. 493 00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:19,362 What are we doing, Dre? 494 00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:20,985 What are we doing? 495 00:18:20,991 --> 00:18:22,398 We're letting go. 496 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:26,769 - It just all happened so fast. - So fast! 497 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,988 Didn't we just bring Zoey home from the hospital? 498 00:18:30,082 --> 00:18:32,842 Yeah. Oh, my God. She was so teeny. 499 00:18:32,877 --> 00:18:35,072 Oh, oh, oh. 500 00:18:35,191 --> 00:18:36,190 Do you remember that hat? 501 00:18:36,226 --> 00:18:38,159 Yeah. She was always pulling it off. 502 00:18:38,194 --> 00:18:40,662 She didn't like your taste even then. 503 00:18:40,697 --> 00:18:43,598 Oh, God. 504 00:18:43,633 --> 00:18:45,633 Ah, we have to let go, don't we? 505 00:18:45,669 --> 00:18:46,534 Mm. 506 00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:49,137 Well... 507 00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:51,639 we have 18 more years with this one. 508 00:18:51,675 --> 00:18:53,508 Let's take a million pictures of him. 509 00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,165 - Mm. - And promise that 510 00:18:55,222 --> 00:18:56,441 we will give him all of our time. 511 00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:57,445 Mm-hmm. 512 00:18:59,402 --> 00:19:01,335 What happens when he goes to college? 513 00:19:02,919 --> 00:19:05,019 Did you see the movie "Room?" 514 00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:06,721 Ohh. 515 00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:08,823 Mm-hmm. 516 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,041 So, I know everybody's been wondering 517 00:19:13,076 --> 00:19:15,009 where Zoey is gonna go to school. 518 00:19:15,045 --> 00:19:17,111 So here it is. 519 00:19:17,147 --> 00:19:19,581 I think I'm leaning towards... 520 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,448 NYU! 521 00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:21,716 Yes! 522 00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:23,818 Solid academic choice. 523 00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,487 You will probably struggle. 524 00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:26,488 Oh, thanks for that. 525 00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:28,857 I can live with New York. 526 00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:31,125 I've always wanted to pee in Central Park. 527 00:19:32,122 --> 00:19:34,529 - I'm gonna come visit every other weekend. - Me, too. 528 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:37,866 Um, New York is far, guys. 529 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:41,035 I probably won't even come home until Christmas. 530 00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:44,105 When you move back home after failing out. 531 00:19:44,554 --> 00:19:45,887 Christmas? 532 00:19:46,743 --> 00:19:48,877 So, you're gonna miss Thanksgiving? 533 00:19:48,912 --> 00:19:50,512 - Yes. - And what about Halloween? 534 00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:52,981 What are we gonna do for our family costume? 535 00:19:53,016 --> 00:19:54,816 And if you're not coming home, 536 00:19:54,851 --> 00:19:57,318 who's gonna do my hair for picture day? 537 00:19:57,354 --> 00:19:59,220 We cannot put that in Mom's hands. 538 00:19:59,256 --> 00:20:02,290 Guys, it's not like I'm gonna forget you. 539 00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:04,759 I love being your big sister. 540 00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,027 We love that, too. 541 00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:09,430 And... in a way, 542 00:20:09,466 --> 00:20:10,665 I guess it's good 543 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,800 that we're all gonna miss each other. 544 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:15,403 Except the baby. 545 00:20:15,438 --> 00:20:17,038 He won't even know you. 546 00:20:25,348 --> 00:20:26,548 Hey, sweetie. Hey, babe. 547 00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:29,150 Hey. I need to return this. 548 00:20:29,185 --> 00:20:31,791 - Okay? - Wrong size? 549 00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,223 Wrong state. 550 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,493 Oh. 551 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,561 Night, guys. 552 00:20:39,596 --> 00:20:41,876 - Mm. - Night. 553 00:20:48,016 --> 00:20:53,407 ♪ If I could get another chance ♪ 554 00:20:53,446 --> 00:21:00,472 ♪ Another walk, another dance with him ♪ 555 00:21:00,502 --> 00:21:04,799 ♪ I'd play a song that would never, ever end ♪ 556 00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:07,683 I hate that I love this. 557 00:21:13,382 --> 00:21:17,449 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com -