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Ever since I was a kid,
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I've always loved Halloween.
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Trick or treat!
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Aww, look. A tin man!
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But I'm silver surfer.
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Was in the choir at church.
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I could steal money from my
mom's purse for a bus pass
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to get to the best candy.
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Yeah, I ain't gonna never get no afro.
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I don't believe in all that!
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Now I live in one of those
"good candy" neighborhoods.
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It's a Halloween hotspot,
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Kids come from all over
the city to trick-or-treat,
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Some of these kids include
my own nieces and nephews,
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who come up from the hood
to hang with us on Halloween.
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And they have their own tradition...
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roughing up my soft-ass kids.
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No, no!
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- Oh, hey, hey, hey!
- My candy!
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And I let this happen,
'cause it's good for my kids.
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Ow!
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No, not my calligraphy hand!
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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- Dre?
- In here!
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Hey! Oh, there you are.
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Oh, my.
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Hello, Mr. president.
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Okay, Dre,
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inauguration Michelle or
"Teen Choice" Michelle?
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- Eh.
- Oh, fine.
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- Just classic Michelle?
- That's it.
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All right.
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Mm-mm-mmm! Tsh!
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I see Satan's fast at work on this house.
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Mama, please, all right?
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We don't need to hear
how evil Halloween is.
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Actually, I was referring
to the dinner in the oven.
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I didn't know if you were cooking lasagna
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No disrespect.
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Again, and hopefully for the last time,
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just because you say "no disrespect"
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doesn't make it any less disrespectful.
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Point taken. I'm sorry.
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I just think that
celebrating this pagan holiday
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makes you awful parents.
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- But...
- No offense.
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Ooh. Yeah.
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I have lost the first dog,
but I have eyes on POTUS.
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You know, we really need to come up
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with a proper nickname for you, Prez.
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And I'm really gonna need you
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to give me some space from you, weirdo.
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You've been following me around all week.
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It is my honor and
privilege to guard you, sir.
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What?
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I don't judge you
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for your frequent bathroom visits.
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Even number one has to go number two.
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I like that.
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Boom!
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- I can't wait for your cousins to beat your ass.
- No.
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- What?
- Junior, I would really appreciate it
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if you and your cousins would
refrain from roughhousing.
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Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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Don't listen to her, all right?
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Roughhousing is a normal, necessary part
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of growing up, all right?
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Me and my cousin June Bug,
we went at it all the time.
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- June Bug?
- Mm-hmm.
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Sounds stereotypical.
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's not a stereotype.
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You know, just a big, aggressive guy
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from a bad neighborhood
with a stomach tattoo.
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You know, went to jail a couple of times.
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Uh, anyway, it's what
prepared me for the real world.
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Without it, I wouldn't be the street-smart,
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tough, strong, educated gangster...
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Whoo! A ring pop!
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Ha ha ha! Mmm.
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POTUS is exiting.
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Happy Halloween, Johnsons!
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Ohh, I see we're both
going as doctors this year.
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Oh, no, Janine. I really am a doctor.
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Way to stay in character.
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Uh, paging "Dr. Rainbow."
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Can you imagine?
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Anyhoo, last year,
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some of the visiting trick-or-treaters
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got a little more turnt up
than some of us are used to.
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- Mm-hmm.
- So, this year,
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we're hiring a safety
ambassador for the evening.
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A safety ambassador? You mean like a cop?
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Yeah.
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Well, sort of.
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He doesn't have the legal power
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to arrest or detain anyone,
but he does have a taser.
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A ta... I'm sorry. What?
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Oh, no, he's a... a large Samoan man.
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He used to be in the XFL,
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so he probably won't even have to use it.
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Okay, well, that sounds like
a foolproof plan, Janine.
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- Thank you.
- So, I'm gonna close the door now.
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Yep, okay. Before you do, before you do...
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- All right, then.
- Whoo, ba-ba-ba-boo!
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Before you do, just want to say that,
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uh, we're hoping to wrap things
up a little bit early tonight.
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- Mm-hmm.
- You know, as it gets later,
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you know, the kids get
older and, um, scarier.
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Mm-hmm.
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So, uh, maybe lights out by 9:00 P.M.?
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- What do you say?
- Yeah. Okay, yeah.
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- Janine?
- Yeah?
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You know they're children.
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So, maybe instead of
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closing your doors and
turning off your lights,
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you could open your heart
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and be a little more
accepting and tolerant.
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I totally get that,
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but we lose officer Tuiasosopo at 9:30,
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so... Lights out.
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Okay, well, it's...
Always a joy seeing you.
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Hey.
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Hey, Dad.
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Sasha, what is going on?
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Uh, she's Sasha and I'm Malia.
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Don't you even know your own daughters?
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Oh.
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You guys are waiting on
your cousins, aren't you?
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They're here!
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- Ohh.
- Whoa...
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Are they bigger?
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Yeah.
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Looks like cousin Carl's been hitting
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that taco bell fourth meal pretty hard.
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We always said he was one chalupa away
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from a train wreck.
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Guess he finally ate it.
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All right. It's okay to be afraid.
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But might as well get it over with.
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Time to get mollywhopped.
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Whoo! Come on in and kick some butt!
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Oh!
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Whoa!
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Now, how in the hell did this happen?!
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Oh!
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- Hard work!
- Dedication!
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- Hard work!
- Dedication!
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Ooh! Yeah! Let's do it!
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- Yes!
- Let's go!
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Go, go, go, go, go, go!
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Move it! Come on! Let's move it!
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Come on, Zoey! Pick up the pace!
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Pick up the pace!
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Go! One, two! Yeah!
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- Go! Let's go!
- Oh, oh!
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- Let me kick it!
- Diane!
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- Oh, snap!
- Say something! Say something!
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You see that championship
bloodline right there?!
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I breed fighters, son!
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- Hey, Dad! Dad!
- What? What?
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Dad, wait.
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Isn't that your cousin June Bug
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bringing in the candy apples?
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Cousin who?
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June Bug.
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What's up, Cuz?
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Complete stereotype.
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June Bug.
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Hey.
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Ooh. Whoa.
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Don't you drop my apples!
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Okay. Okay.
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Okay. Ah.
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I'm losing breath.
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Whoo!
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I see you still got that weak
little baby-girl windpipe, huh?
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June Bug! Man, it's been a long time!
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Looking good. Hey.
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00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,828
What's this? Uh... You
wearing a kevlar vest?
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00:06:41,863 --> 00:06:43,630
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Part of my costume.
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I'm in the club 50 cent.
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Oh, okay.
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Is it crazy that I already had
all this stuff in my closet?
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No. It's... it's not crazy at all.
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Uh... Children, say hi to cousin June Bug.
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- Hey!
- June Bug, my kids.
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How are you?
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00:06:55,226 --> 00:06:56,743
- Hi.
- That's a good-looking bunch, Dre.
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- Oh, thank you.
- You sure they yours?
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Do... huh?
197
00:06:58,963 --> 00:07:01,948
'Cause you're an
extremely unattractive man.
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Okay.
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00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:03,967
Ain't that right, tea kettle?
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00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:05,051
Tea kettle?
201
00:07:05,069 --> 00:07:07,287
Why did he call you tea kettle, Dad?
202
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:08,588
Really? That's what you want to know about?
203
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,056
You not gonna question why
he called me unattractive?
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Oh!
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00:07:11,826 --> 00:07:14,144
Rainbow, wow! How are you, baby?
206
00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:15,595
- Oh!
- "Baby"?
207
00:07:15,629 --> 00:07:16,830
June Bug! Oh, my goodness!
208
00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:19,332
How are you? Ohh! Mwah!
209
00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:20,817
Ohh. Oh, look at you!
210
00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,135
Wow!
211
00:07:22,169 --> 00:07:24,838
What's it been, like three, four years?
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00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:26,940
- More like five to seven.
- Aww.
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00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:28,408
Hey, hey, baby, why don't you,
uh, put them in the kitchen?
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00:07:28,442 --> 00:07:29,793
- Oh, okay.
- Hey, hey, hey.
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00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:31,561
Did I ever tell you how lucky
you are to have this woman, Dre?
216
00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:32,812
- What'd you say?
- Oh!
217
00:07:32,847 --> 00:07:35,115
Hey, kids, here's a fun fact.
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00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:36,850
Your father is so weak,
219
00:07:36,901 --> 00:07:39,085
he has the strength of a
small woman with bone disease.
220
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,253
What?!
221
00:07:40,255 --> 00:07:41,938
Watch how easy I can take him down.
222
00:07:41,972 --> 00:07:42,989
- Aah!
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh.
223
00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:44,424
The cowardly lion is down!
224
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:46,893
You are not secret service!
You cannot touch the president!
225
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:49,496
I repeat, the cowardly lion is down.
226
00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:50,964
Wow, Dad.
227
00:07:50,966 --> 00:07:52,815
Now I finally get why
you're always pushing us
228
00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,367
to fight back against our cousins.
229
00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:56,769
You wanted us to succeed
in ways that you failed.
230
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,639
Yeah. You know, because
you're a little punk.
231
00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:01,107
Boy, I'll let you know,
232
00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:04,293
your father is a strong,
educated street gangster.
233
00:08:04,345 --> 00:08:06,612
- Oh!
- Oh, he broke your father.
234
00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,782
- Goodness!
- Dad, are you okay?
235
00:08:09,817 --> 00:08:10,550
I'm fine.
236
00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:11,718
We just playing around.
237
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,619
You know, we just going back and forth.
238
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:14,704
I see the back,
239
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,272
but I'm not really seeing the forth.
240
00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:18,091
You know what, baby? Go on and, uh...
241
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,742
I'll go and take these and
put these in the kitchen.
242
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:20,660
Oh, okay.
243
00:08:20,662 --> 00:08:21,844
Okay.
244
00:08:21,895 --> 00:08:24,480
So now I'm the one getting mollywhopped
245
00:08:24,531 --> 00:08:27,550
while my kids are
standing up for themselves.
246
00:08:27,584 --> 00:08:30,069
I can't believe we stood up to our cousins.
247
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,439
After all the years of
abuse, we finally fought back!
248
00:08:33,473 --> 00:08:37,009
Just like Farrah Fawcett
in "The Burning Bed"!
249
00:08:37,044 --> 00:08:38,177
What?
250
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,530
It's a powerful portrayal
of domestic violence,
251
00:08:40,581 --> 00:08:43,049
much like "Men Don't Tell,"
starring Judith Light.
252
00:08:43,051 --> 00:08:45,668
Dude, I'm begging for a
reason to root for you.
253
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:49,055
Anyway, did you see
the looks on their faces
254
00:08:49,106 --> 00:08:50,873
- when we attacked them?
- Yep.
255
00:08:50,908 --> 00:08:52,758
The same look the Native-Americans have
256
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,727
in my Christopher Columbus coloring book.
257
00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:56,162
I wonder where they are now?
258
00:08:56,164 --> 00:08:59,065
Probably somewhere curled
up in a corner crying.
259
00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:01,667
Just like the Native-Americans
in my coloring book.
260
00:09:01,669 --> 00:09:04,103
You know, the truth is, now that
we've shown them that we can boss up,
261
00:09:04,154 --> 00:09:06,255
maybe we can actually
just hang out with them.
262
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,307
And it'll only be better
without a bloody nose.
263
00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:10,493
Oh, you getting that bloody nose.
264
00:09:12,913 --> 00:09:14,013
Are you kidding me?
265
00:09:14,015 --> 00:09:16,615
A little miniature Misty Copeland.
266
00:09:16,666 --> 00:09:18,651
I swear, you are so cute,
267
00:09:18,685 --> 00:09:20,352
I just want to eat your face off!
268
00:09:20,354 --> 00:09:21,987
So friggin' cute!
269
00:09:21,989 --> 00:09:23,172
Oh, remember, sweetheart,
270
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:24,857
you can be anything you want to be!
271
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:28,210
You is smart. You is kind.
272
00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:31,080
You is important.
273
00:09:31,114 --> 00:09:33,682
Oh, no! Whoa! No, ba-po, ba-po! Hey!
274
00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:35,734
Just a reminder, we
lose officer T. at 9:30.
275
00:09:35,736 --> 00:09:36,869
Okay. All right.
276
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,305
I got some personal stuff to do.
277
00:09:40,607 --> 00:09:42,074
Ahhh, this guy! All right.
278
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:43,492
Let's go talk to the other neighbors.
279
00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:44,376
Bye!
280
00:09:44,411 --> 00:09:45,728
Bye. Oh.
281
00:09:45,762 --> 00:09:46,979
Trick or treat.
282
00:09:46,981 --> 00:09:48,797
Hey, there. Welcome to the neighborhood.
283
00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:50,549
So, who are you supposed to be?
284
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,318
- Juvon.
- Okay.
285
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,952
What's your costume?
286
00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:55,354
Juvon.
287
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:58,290
Okay, that's... that's
not really a costume.
288
00:09:58,324 --> 00:10:00,426
Look, lady, I showed up, I said the thing,
289
00:10:00,428 --> 00:10:02,111
and opened my bag.
290
00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:03,529
Are we gonna do this or what?
291
00:10:14,974 --> 00:10:17,609
Ugh, why'd they have
to take over my bedroom?
292
00:10:17,644 --> 00:10:20,078
Open up this door now, or else!
293
00:10:20,113 --> 00:10:21,246
Or else what?
294
00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:23,182
Or else I'll huff and I'll puff...
295
00:10:23,216 --> 00:10:24,516
what are you doing?
296
00:10:24,518 --> 00:10:26,451
I'm panicking! I don't know!
297
00:10:26,453 --> 00:10:27,536
Let's go, guys.
298
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,405
Wait. Where are you going?
299
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,524
We're done. They won.
300
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,826
Won? Because of one minor setback?
301
00:10:34,861 --> 00:10:37,796
You people are pathetic. You disgust me.
302
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,931
Ew.
303
00:10:39,933 --> 00:10:42,501
We don't have to get into
the room to take them down.
304
00:10:42,535 --> 00:10:44,469
We just have to get into their heads.
305
00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:46,104
What are you talking about?
306
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:48,757
Psi-ops. Crush their morale.
307
00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:50,008
Nicknames can hurt.
308
00:10:50,042 --> 00:10:52,444
Dad is still crushed by "Tea Kettle."
309
00:10:52,478 --> 00:10:55,047
You wear those for life. Right, long head?
310
00:10:55,098 --> 00:10:58,550
Oh, my God. Gurkel's right.
311
00:10:58,584 --> 00:11:01,353
Well played. That hurt.
312
00:11:01,387 --> 00:11:03,355
But you know what hurts the most?
313
00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:05,757
The brutal truth.
314
00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:11,096
Hey, cousin Dante, your real
dad was a Nigerian busboy
315
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,482
your mom met at a carnival cruise.
316
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,917
Whoa! Truth bomb.
317
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:17,168
Let me try.
318
00:11:18,638 --> 00:11:21,973
Hey, cousin Cha-Cha, look
down at your sneakers.
319
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:25,644
Look closely. They're Air Jorbans!
320
00:11:25,695 --> 00:11:26,661
Oh!
321
00:11:26,696 --> 00:11:29,381
- Let's go!
- Yes!
322
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:37,188
What are those?!
323
00:11:38,257 --> 00:11:39,874
Lovely costumes.
324
00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:41,960
Enjoy your candy.
325
00:11:42,011 --> 00:11:44,062
And the word of God.
326
00:11:45,231 --> 00:11:46,197
Really?
327
00:11:46,199 --> 00:11:47,248
You're giving bibles
328
00:11:47,299 --> 00:11:48,516
to children on Halloween?
329
00:11:48,551 --> 00:11:51,236
Your treats give children cavities.
330
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:53,738
Mine give them everlasting life.
331
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,340
- Okay.
- Trick or treat!
332
00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:56,674
Oh.
333
00:11:56,725 --> 00:11:58,443
Oh, the old wig switch!
334
00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:00,879
That deserves more candy.
335
00:12:00,913 --> 00:12:02,931
See, Ruby?
336
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,182
That's what Halloween's all about.
337
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:05,483
It's all in good fun.
338
00:12:05,534 --> 00:12:07,085
Since when is fun
339
00:12:07,119 --> 00:12:10,488
making the first lady look like a sodomite?
340
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,123
It's just a dress.
341
00:12:12,157 --> 00:12:14,292
- Trick or treat!
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
342
00:12:14,343 --> 00:12:15,927
You didn't even switch your wigs this time.
343
00:12:15,978 --> 00:12:17,061
Come on.
344
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,279
Go ahead. You can go now.
345
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:19,330
Go ahead.
346
00:12:20,132 --> 00:12:21,432
What?
347
00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:24,035
- Oh!
- Did you just kick my frog?!
348
00:12:24,086 --> 00:12:25,470
And so it has begun.
349
00:12:25,504 --> 00:12:28,573
That wounded frog is no coincidence.
350
00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:31,042
May God have mercy on our souls.
351
00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:32,093
Mm-hmm.
352
00:12:32,144 --> 00:12:32,877
Unh...
353
00:12:32,911 --> 00:12:34,078
Dre?
354
00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,714
Dre! Oh, hey.
355
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:37,915
Dre, we need to talk.
356
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,218
While I am enjoying
357
00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:43,004
the visiting trick-or-treaters immensely,
358
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:46,691
uh, Janine got her ceramic frog broken.
359
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:49,794
That looks like your ceramic frog.
360
00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:52,230
Oh, well, yeah, but Janine has one, too,
361
00:12:52,232 --> 00:12:54,532
and... what... what are you
doing down there, anyway?
362
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,702
I-I'm fixing the sink, as I'm known to do.
363
00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:01,389
Without any tools and w... crying?
364
00:13:01,423 --> 00:13:03,641
- Dre, are you crying?
- Ain't nobody crying!
365
00:13:03,692 --> 00:13:04,609
You're crying.
366
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,277
Ain't nobody crying!
367
00:13:06,279 --> 00:13:07,879
The... there's a leak.
368
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,847
A-a-a-and the water leaked on my face,
369
00:13:09,881 --> 00:13:13,117
and I'm fixing the sink with
my bare hands like a man!
370
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,389
But don't tell June Bug I'm up here
371
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:22,176
because, you know, sink fixing
is a... is a one-man job.
372
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:25,896
Dre, he's harmless.
He's just a gentle giant.
373
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,448
Yeah, to you maybe.
374
00:13:27,482 --> 00:13:28,999
He's probably just jealous.
375
00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:30,935
I mean, look at your life compared to his.
376
00:13:30,969 --> 00:13:32,436
I mean
377
00:13:32,438 --> 00:13:33,954
Like, it's...
378
00:13:33,989 --> 00:13:35,372
Come on.
379
00:13:35,407 --> 00:13:37,508
This alone is worthy
of you getting beat up.
380
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:38,676
You ain't wrong about that.
381
00:13:38,678 --> 00:13:40,277
- Ah, yeah, thank you.
- Yeah.
382
00:13:40,312 --> 00:13:41,412
You're right.
383
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,496
This thing between June Bug
384
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,415
and me is silly.
385
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:46,350
Maybe I will go talk to him.
386
00:13:46,352 --> 00:13:48,953
Aww, attaboy. I should probably run, too,
387
00:13:48,987 --> 00:13:51,722
'cause I think Janine put
the sprinklers on in our yard
388
00:13:51,756 --> 00:13:54,008
to discourage the trick-or-treaters
389
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,359
from coming to our door.
390
00:13:55,361 --> 00:13:56,493
She is a bad person.
391
00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:59,463
Like, a bad, bad person, that Janine.
392
00:13:59,481 --> 00:14:01,482
Hey, guys.
393
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:03,067
You ready to go trick-or-treating?
394
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:05,886
Nah. We not really feeling it.
395
00:14:05,921 --> 00:14:08,138
Come on! It'll be fun.
396
00:14:08,173 --> 00:14:11,075
If you want, you can
even steal our costumes!
397
00:14:11,109 --> 00:14:13,377
Don't patronize us, Andre Jr.
398
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:15,646
We get it. You have a real father.
399
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,815
- And real Jordans.
- Yep.
400
00:14:17,866 --> 00:14:19,700
We're sorry about all that.
401
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,318
We took the low road and we know it.
402
00:14:21,369 --> 00:14:23,170
It was really Diane's idea.
403
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:24,588
And I stand by it.
404
00:14:24,639 --> 00:14:26,140
For what it's worth,
405
00:14:26,174 --> 00:14:28,759
we have no idea who Zoey's real father is.
406
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:31,261
Pretty sure it's Rick Fox.
407
00:14:31,263 --> 00:14:32,429
And that's supposed to make me feel better?
408
00:14:32,431 --> 00:14:34,231
My dad's some busboy on a boat.
409
00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:36,100
I bet he's a busman by now.
410
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:39,436
Or he's worked his way
up to, like, captain.
411
00:14:39,438 --> 00:14:40,604
Yeah, right.
412
00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:42,439
No, seriously.
413
00:14:42,441 --> 00:14:43,941
Look at me.
414
00:14:43,992 --> 00:14:45,108
Look at me.
415
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:48,996
He is the captain now.
416
00:14:51,449 --> 00:14:52,950
Uh, o-okay.
417
00:14:55,253 --> 00:14:57,454
I can't believe they didn't come with us.
418
00:14:57,456 --> 00:14:59,623
They must've not seen "Captain Phillips."
419
00:14:59,674 --> 00:15:00,874
We ruined them.
420
00:15:00,925 --> 00:15:02,876
We completely broke their spirits.
421
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:04,378
I mean, we're monsters!
422
00:15:04,429 --> 00:15:05,796
Amazing little monsters.
423
00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:06,797
Oh, hold it, hold it.
424
00:15:06,799 --> 00:15:08,382
- Oh, watch out.
- Oh. Whoa.
425
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:11,134
- What the...
- Hey, my candy!
426
00:15:11,185 --> 00:15:12,469
Really, dude?
427
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,274
Oh. There you are, Junie.
428
00:15:17,308 --> 00:15:18,642
Where you been hiding, man?
429
00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,444
Look, I understand
430
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:21,945
why you've been picking
on me for all these years.
431
00:15:21,979 --> 00:15:23,280
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
432
00:15:23,314 --> 00:15:24,981
It's because you think my life
433
00:15:25,032 --> 00:15:26,983
has always been easier than yours
434
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:29,820
because I got out of the
hood and I got it like this.
435
00:15:29,822 --> 00:15:32,456
But you don't have to be
intimidated by me, Junie.
436
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:33,990
I'm not better than you.
437
00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:37,460
You sound stupid.
438
00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:38,495
What?
439
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,380
Dre, I just won a $2 million
440
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:42,249
police-brutality settlement.
441
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,134
Ain't nobody jealous of you.
442
00:15:44,168 --> 00:15:46,252
I just like to hear you
443
00:15:46,304 --> 00:15:47,671
scream like a little bitch.
444
00:15:47,673 --> 00:15:49,005
Uh...
445
00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:50,173
Ouch!
446
00:15:50,224 --> 00:15:51,341
Now say your name.
447
00:15:51,343 --> 00:15:53,009
Dre!
448
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,010
Andre!
449
00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:54,928
That isn't right.
450
00:15:54,979 --> 00:15:56,179
Andre Johnson!
451
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:57,897
Say your real name!
452
00:15:57,932 --> 00:16:00,984
Tea Kettle!
453
00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:09,070
Oh my God, hey!
454
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:11,332
Hey, no peeing in my bushes!
455
00:16:11,366 --> 00:16:13,634
Oh... ahh.
456
00:16:13,685 --> 00:16:14,902
Hello.
457
00:16:14,936 --> 00:16:16,537
Well, aren't you just
458
00:16:16,571 --> 00:16:19,473
an adorable group of lady killers, eh?
459
00:16:19,507 --> 00:16:20,874
Show us your [Bleep] [Bleep]
460
00:16:20,909 --> 00:16:22,243
What?!
461
00:16:22,277 --> 00:16:23,911
Yeah, put them on the glass, Flotus!
462
00:16:23,913 --> 00:16:25,179
Dear God!
463
00:16:25,213 --> 00:16:27,348
Oh, God.
464
00:16:27,382 --> 00:16:28,582
Okay, they're just children.
465
00:16:28,616 --> 00:16:30,751
Oh, they don't have arts programs.
466
00:16:30,802 --> 00:16:31,802
They can't help themselves.
467
00:16:31,853 --> 00:16:33,020
Oh, my God!
468
00:16:33,054 --> 00:16:35,873
Jack, it's okay. Stop crying.
469
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,374
W-what happened to you guys?
470
00:16:37,425 --> 00:16:38,492
Nothing.
471
00:16:38,526 --> 00:16:39,927
I got jacked.
472
00:16:39,961 --> 00:16:41,328
They took my candy.
473
00:16:41,362 --> 00:16:42,463
Pathetic.
474
00:16:42,497 --> 00:16:44,298
Go ahead. Call us weak.
475
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,399
We deserve it.
476
00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:46,683
Oh, hell no!
477
00:16:46,735 --> 00:16:48,168
Nobody messes with family.
478
00:16:48,203 --> 00:16:50,971
She got that right. Throw me my Fadidas.
479
00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:53,874
Oh.
480
00:16:58,347 --> 00:17:00,147
Dre, you in here?
481
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:03,200
Dre, what you doing in here?
482
00:17:03,251 --> 00:17:07,187
I'm changing the oil in my
car, as I am known to do.
483
00:17:07,238 --> 00:17:08,455
Oh.
484
00:17:08,489 --> 00:17:10,724
June Bug, I found him! He's in here!
485
00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:11,892
Ma!
486
00:17:11,926 --> 00:17:13,560
Why do you always do that?
487
00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:15,963
It's like you want to see me get whooped.
488
00:17:15,997 --> 00:17:18,749
Kind of like you want to see
your own kids get whooped?
489
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,400
Look, that's different, okay?
490
00:17:20,435 --> 00:17:22,035
I just want them to be tough.
491
00:17:22,070 --> 00:17:23,620
Yeah, because you were a little punk.
492
00:17:23,671 --> 00:17:24,604
What? Mama.
493
00:17:24,639 --> 00:17:26,189
You listen to me, Mr. President.
494
00:17:26,224 --> 00:17:28,508
June Bug is your savior!
495
00:17:28,543 --> 00:17:29,743
Forgive me, Jesus.
496
00:17:29,794 --> 00:17:31,578
What are you talking about?
497
00:17:31,612 --> 00:17:33,263
Don't you remember all the times
498
00:17:33,314 --> 00:17:35,532
he beat up the neighborhood
kids for making fun of you?
499
00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:39,219
And the teachers, also
for making fun of you.
500
00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:42,289
And, hey, what about your
high-school graduation night?
501
00:17:42,323 --> 00:17:43,924
You remember that?
502
00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:46,526
You mean when we were
rolling through Baldwin Hills?
503
00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:47,928
He tried to kill me!
504
00:17:50,898 --> 00:17:53,183
Ooh!
505
00:17:55,369 --> 00:17:57,704
Oh! Aah!
506
00:17:57,706 --> 00:18:00,106
Okay, maybe I should've
had on my seat belt.
507
00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:01,358
But still.
508
00:18:01,392 --> 00:18:03,693
What you don't know, college boy,
509
00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:05,795
is he did that for a reason.
510
00:18:05,846 --> 00:18:08,865
Yes. To laugh at my murder.
511
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:11,067
No. You were the one in the family
512
00:18:11,118 --> 00:18:14,387
that was going somewhere,
and he did it to protect you.
513
00:18:23,831 --> 00:18:25,865
He pushed you out of that car
514
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,802
because he knew if you
got busted that night,
515
00:18:28,836 --> 00:18:31,237
it could cost you your scholarship.
516
00:18:31,272 --> 00:18:34,124
I had no idea.
517
00:18:34,158 --> 00:18:37,477
We didn't talk for years.
518
00:18:37,511 --> 00:18:39,612
Maybe I have been too hard on June Bug.
519
00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:41,014
Yeah, maybe.
520
00:18:41,048 --> 00:18:43,216
He's a good man.
521
00:18:43,218 --> 00:18:47,487
It is unfortunate he
kidnapped those girls, though.
522
00:18:49,623 --> 00:18:51,724
Bow?
523
00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:52,392
You seen Junie?
524
00:18:52,394 --> 00:18:54,193
What are you doing?
525
00:18:54,195 --> 00:18:55,662
It's 9:00.
526
00:18:55,664 --> 00:18:57,880
I feel like we owe it to Janine
527
00:18:57,915 --> 00:19:00,466
to shut down Halloween, immediately!
528
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:02,518
Janine is very scared!
529
00:19:02,569 --> 00:19:04,537
But what about the
trick-or-treaters and their candy?
530
00:19:04,571 --> 00:19:06,372
Janine feels like [Bleep] them.
531
00:19:06,374 --> 00:19:08,174
Uh...
532
00:19:10,978 --> 00:19:13,496
Are you sure Janine's the
one with the problem, Bow?
533
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,747
Yeah, yeah.
534
00:19:14,749 --> 00:19:16,883
'Cause she's outside doing the nae nae.
535
00:19:16,885 --> 00:19:17,900
Okay, fine! It's me!
536
00:19:17,935 --> 00:19:20,820
I'm Janine! I've always been Janine!
537
00:19:20,871 --> 00:19:21,954
Okay, hold that thought.
538
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:23,539
What? June Bug!
539
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,675
Okay. Oh, God.
540
00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:29,779
- Oh. Hey, man.
- Yo, man.
541
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,747
Refrigerator game have exploded
542
00:19:31,782 --> 00:19:33,299
in the last five to seven years.
543
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:34,467
- Look at that.
- Oh, no doubt.
544
00:19:34,501 --> 00:19:35,685
Look, look, junie.
545
00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:37,520
I know you give me a hard time,
546
00:19:37,571 --> 00:19:39,906
but I also know that you look out for me.
547
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:40,990
You sound stupid.
548
00:19:41,024 --> 00:19:42,291
No, man, I'm serious.
549
00:19:42,326 --> 00:19:43,910
I'm trying to thank you.
550
00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:46,012
You're like a brother to me.
551
00:19:48,682 --> 00:19:51,517
That's real beautiful, man.
552
00:19:51,552 --> 00:19:52,885
Come here, dawg.
553
00:19:54,187 --> 00:19:55,688
That's what I'm talking
about. Yeah. Come here, dawg.
554
00:19:55,722 --> 00:19:56,689
Ow! Ow!
555
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:03,396
What's your name, fool?
What's your name, fool?!
556
00:20:03,447 --> 00:20:04,613
Huh?! What's your name, fool?!
557
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,925
So family toughens you up,
558
00:20:08,045 --> 00:20:10,078
but they also have your back.
559
00:20:10,129 --> 00:20:11,412
Or in this case,
560
00:20:11,463 --> 00:20:14,132
- your arm bent painfully behind your back.
- Ow.
561
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:15,800
Meanwhile, my kids learned
562
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:18,219
their cousins have their back, too.
563
00:20:18,253 --> 00:20:20,138
That was amazing!
564
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:21,723
Yo, those kids went down quick.
565
00:20:21,757 --> 00:20:23,450
Only one that scared me
was that big Samoan dude.
566
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,831
Kinda seemed like an adult
that was hitting children.
567
00:20:25,951 --> 00:20:28,631
You split that airboard
over his head like a graham cracker!
568
00:20:29,069 --> 00:20:31,505
- Thanks for having our back.
- That's what family does, man.
569
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,087
Now give us all your candy.
570
00:20:37,786 --> 00:20:39,822
He thinks we're kidding.
Seriously, all of it.
571
00:20:40,422 --> 00:20:42,732
- Oh!
- Do we look like we're playing?
572
00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:44,132
I just fought a man.
573
00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:45,455
True.
574
00:20:45,837 --> 00:20:47,219
Go ahead, Jack.
575
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:48,855
Mm-hmm.
576
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:54,479
- Here Man, have mine. I probably don't need it.
- He don't.
577
00:20:54,599 --> 00:20:57,170
- True, but I do need this.
- No you don't.
578
00:20:57,828 --> 00:20:59,756
I love Halloween.
579
00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:02,428
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com