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00:00:03,864 --> 00:00:05,697
- Do you know what this is?
- What?
2
00:00:05,731 --> 00:00:08,116
This is a picture of
our entire class swimming
3
00:00:08,150 --> 00:00:10,234
at Dominique Harris' birthday bash.
4
00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:12,170
Do you see us? Do you?
5
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Look hard!
6
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Take it down a notch, friend.
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You don't see us because we're not in it.
8
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Because we weren't invited.
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Because of you people!
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What did we do?
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Probably said no, like you usually do.
12
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That's why I just lie to
you about where I'm going.
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What
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Zoey, where are you going?
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To bed.
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Zoey, while a boldfaced liar, wasn't wrong.
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Bow and I are "no" people.
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When people ask us to do stuff...
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So, we're having a party
for Sophie this Saturday.
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Can you make it?
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Our default position is
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"home is where our
heart and our butts are."
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We'd love to!
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Unless it's Saturday.
25
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Ooh, can't. My aunt Edith died.
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Can't. Broke my leg.
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Walking around on a broken femur right now.
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I am strong, but not smart.
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No. Uh... another dead aunt.
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My aunt e... Condoleezza.
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Your excuse game is in shambles.
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Aunt Condoleezza?
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You're absolutely right,
walking broken femur.
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Can you two please just
start saying "yes" more?
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Please?
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- So, the party is Saturday?
- Yeah.
37
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You can make it, right?
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- They have a pool.
- With a slide.
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Yes.
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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Man, I should go over
there and jump up in there.
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No.
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Yeah, make one of the
kids just fly over the top.
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Hey! We're going to the pool!
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Going to the pool!
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- Hey, buddy system.
- Yeah.
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- Buddy system! Go!
- Have fun, you guys.
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All right, hey, I got to say,
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the Coopers have found out
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the secret to having a good kids' party.
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- Liquor.
- Boom!
52
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Dre, why didn't we think of booze?
53
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We got to do better.
54
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I can't lie. I'm having a great time.
55
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Mm-hmm.
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And it wouldn't hurt us
to say "yes" more often.
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- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
58
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Want another Margarita?
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00:02:03,765 --> 00:02:04,848
- Yes!
- See?
60
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It's already paying off.
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You guys, thank you so much for having us.
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We're so happy you all could make it.
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We're having a great time.
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Uh-oh.
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Jack is waist-deep in the pool,
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and he's got that look in his eyes.
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- Okay. Okay. Go handle it. Go handle it.
- So I'm gonna...
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Margaritas!
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Margaritas!
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You know, we should get together again.
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00:02:21,399 --> 00:02:22,399
Yeah.
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Okay, let's make it happen.
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Okay.
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I know we haven't known
each other that long,
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but why don't you all come
with us to church next Sunday?
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Church?
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The reason I'm pausing here
is because for black folks,
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church is a big deal.
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For centuries, it's been the
backbone of our community,
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dating back to when we first got here.
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Some even say the term "Sunday Best"
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came from slaves having one good outfit
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their owners bought them for church,
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which to be fair, we kind of ran with...
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and ran...
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And ran...
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And ran.
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Churches were not only the core
of the civil rights movement,
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00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:05,575
but also the one place you knew
your mama couldn't beat you.
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00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:09,729
Growing up, it's how we spent our Sundays.
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00:03:09,764 --> 00:03:11,031
Don't get me wrong...
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I still have my faith,
but in the Johnson home,
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this is what Sundays have become.
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All right, Zoey Sat prep.
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Junior... field hockey.
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00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,707
Jack... basketball.
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00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:22,425
Diane... court-mandated therapy.
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Let's go!
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I did not make it to Jack in time,
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but if we get out of here right now,
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it'll get pinned on Nicky Schultz.
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- Let's go.
- Okay, hold...
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00:03:31,302 --> 00:03:33,053
- Come on, let's...
- Uh, in other news,
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I may have committed
us to church on Sunday.
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Church?
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Yes.
107
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No!
108
00:03:40,329 --> 00:03:42,329
- What?
- What were you thinking?
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I felt guilty. It was church.
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00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:46,049
And let's face it, Bow...
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00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,018
we're C.E.O. churchgoers at best.
112
00:03:48,069 --> 00:03:48,935
What does that mean?
113
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,603
"Christmas and easter only."
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00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:51,988
No, we're not.
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00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:54,073
- The last time we went was on...
- Easter.
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- Well, okay, the time before that...
- Christmas.
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Look, I know it doesn't matter to you
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since you were raised
by a godless hippie...
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00:03:59,663 --> 00:04:01,080
correction.
120
00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:03,249
She believed in many goddesses
121
00:04:03,251 --> 00:04:05,134
and the healing power of tree nuts.
122
00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:07,086
But I'm with you, Dre, okay?
123
00:04:07,088 --> 00:04:08,421
A little more church wouldn't kill us,
124
00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:09,639
and it'd be good for the kids.
125
00:04:09,673 --> 00:04:11,140
Especially Diane.
126
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Therapy is not working.
127
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At all.
128
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Okay, guys, listen up.
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00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:18,815
On Sunday, we are going to church.
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00:04:18,849 --> 00:04:20,850
- Why?!
- No!
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00:04:20,901 --> 00:04:22,602
We just went six months ago.
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00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:24,437
You guys, the Coopers invited us,
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00:04:24,488 --> 00:04:26,105
and you wanted us to say "yes" more.
134
00:04:26,156 --> 00:04:27,407
I could do church.
135
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,776
I'd love to get one more
wear out of my easter suit
136
00:04:29,827 --> 00:04:32,278
before it gets too small.
137
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,280
- Growing like a weed.
- Okay.
138
00:04:34,282 --> 00:04:35,615
- Andre?
- Hmm?
139
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,867
I've been asking you to go
to church with me for years.
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00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:38,918
God knows my heart.
141
00:04:38,952 --> 00:04:40,586
Yeah, but he don't know your face.
142
00:04:40,621 --> 00:04:43,372
And now white folks
call, and here you come.
143
00:04:43,424 --> 00:04:44,507
Oh, Ruby, it's not like that.
144
00:04:44,541 --> 00:04:45,625
Mnh-mnh.
145
00:04:45,627 --> 00:04:47,460
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
146
00:04:47,462 --> 00:04:48,845
Are you the expert,
147
00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:51,464
late-in-life Christian, ex-snake charmer?
148
00:04:51,515 --> 00:04:53,049
It was just once.
149
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,684
I just thank the lord on high
150
00:04:54,718 --> 00:04:57,353
I was able to get you
to baptize these babies.
151
00:04:57,387 --> 00:04:59,472
Mm...
152
00:04:59,523 --> 00:05:01,307
Everybody, let's go get
cleaned up for dinner.
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00:05:01,309 --> 00:05:02,642
Dinnertime! Dinnertime!
154
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,977
Wait, when did the twins get baptized?
155
00:05:05,028 --> 00:05:06,312
I don't remember going.
156
00:05:06,363 --> 00:05:07,480
Me neither.
157
00:05:07,531 --> 00:05:10,149
Uh... mama, you missed it
158
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,201
when you followed A.C. Green to Montego Bay
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00:05:12,235 --> 00:05:13,703
and tried to take his virginity.
160
00:05:13,737 --> 00:05:16,238
Try?
161
00:05:16,290 --> 00:05:18,224
"How Ruby got her groove back."
162
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,745
I wore the hell out of those braids.
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00:05:22,796 --> 00:05:25,498
- Yeah. She wore'em for like a year too long.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:05:25,549 --> 00:05:28,467
Wait a minute. That trip was 15 years ago.
165
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Oh, don't tell me.
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00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:35,741
Look, mama, don't be mad.
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But... sweet Jesus.
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- It may be a possibility...
- Mnh-mnh!
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00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:41,630
- That we never...
- Oh, no!
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Baptized the twins.
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00:05:43,216 --> 00:05:46,302
Ohhhh, sweet heavenly Jesus,
keep me near the cross!
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00:05:46,353 --> 00:05:48,604
Ruby! I think you're
being a little dramatic.
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00:05:48,655 --> 00:05:51,407
- I have never been dramatic a day in my life.
- Okay. All right.
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00:05:51,441 --> 00:05:53,492
- Not ever, ever, ever.
- Okay, Dre...
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00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:55,177
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever!
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00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:57,796
Come to grandma.
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00:05:57,847 --> 00:05:59,315
Now, listen.
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00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,266
I want you two to be very careful,
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00:06:01,268 --> 00:06:04,036
because it doesn't
matter how good you are...
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00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:06,906
when you die, you're going to a place
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00:06:06,957 --> 00:06:09,792
that is hotter and darker
than the bowels of hell.
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00:06:09,843 --> 00:06:11,043
What?!
183
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:12,177
Mommy?
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00:06:12,179 --> 00:06:13,429
Ruby! That's enough.
185
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,815
I am going to get helmets
for these babies' heads.
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00:06:21,454 --> 00:06:23,956
I don't want to go to
a place worse than hell.
187
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:26,592
I've already been to a WNBA game!
188
00:06:26,676 --> 00:06:29,228
Wake up, amigo. I've
been thinking about it.
189
00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:31,613
This is our free pass
to do whatever we want.
190
00:06:31,648 --> 00:06:32,815
What do you mean?
191
00:06:32,866 --> 00:06:35,400
If we're damned if we do
and damned if we don't,
192
00:06:35,451 --> 00:06:37,669
- I say we do.
- I say we don't.
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00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,221
Put your helmet on.
194
00:06:39,255 --> 00:06:40,672
Why are you tempting fate?
195
00:06:40,723 --> 00:06:42,474
We live in earthquake country.
196
00:06:44,143 --> 00:06:47,329
So, Sunday, we found ourselves
at the Coopers' church.
197
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:51,917
How sweet it is to be loved by you
198
00:06:53,636 --> 00:06:55,971
Oh, whoa, whoa
199
00:06:56,022 --> 00:07:00,242
How sweet it is to be loved by you
200
00:07:02,528 --> 00:07:03,578
- Babe.
- What?
201
00:07:03,613 --> 00:07:05,047
- This isn't bad at all.
- Mnh-mnh.
202
00:07:05,081 --> 00:07:06,882
I love how the minister wasn't preachy.
203
00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:08,266
- He used, like, metaphors.
- Right?
204
00:07:08,301 --> 00:07:11,053
Life is like a house with a lot of rooms.
205
00:07:11,104 --> 00:07:13,438
And I am feeling this band.
206
00:07:13,489 --> 00:07:15,490
And that bass player is in the pocket.
207
00:07:15,525 --> 00:07:18,527
- Ah, Junior's in the pocket, too, babe. Look.
- Hmm?
208
00:07:18,578 --> 00:07:20,328
I just want to stop
209
00:07:21,714 --> 00:07:22,914
and thank you, baby
210
00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:25,333
- Ooh!
- Oh, yeah
211
00:07:25,384 --> 00:07:28,637
That whole thing about
exiting the dark hall
212
00:07:28,671 --> 00:07:30,722
and finding the bright path...
213
00:07:30,756 --> 00:07:32,107
where'd you get that from?
214
00:07:32,141 --> 00:07:34,726
Uh, I was telling people
where the bathrooms are.
215
00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:35,861
Amazing.
216
00:07:35,895 --> 00:07:39,080
Do Presbyterians not
believe in cell service?
217
00:07:43,085 --> 00:07:44,452
What are you doing?
218
00:07:44,503 --> 00:07:47,839
- God is not watching us.
- Yes, he is!
219
00:07:47,841 --> 00:07:49,391
God's everywhere.
220
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:51,926
Ugh. Except WNBA games.
221
00:07:51,978 --> 00:07:53,345
Nobody goes to those.
222
00:07:55,848 --> 00:07:57,065
Is it crazy
223
00:07:57,099 --> 00:07:59,367
that this is one of the best
Sundays I've had in a while?
224
00:07:59,402 --> 00:08:02,387
I mean, ever since Jack made
me give up those WNBA tickets.
225
00:08:02,421 --> 00:08:04,956
- I know, right? Hey, Bow...
- Huh?
226
00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:06,841
This could be our spot.
227
00:08:06,876 --> 00:08:08,960
Tight 45-minute service,
228
00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:11,596
the rev got us out in time to
beat the methodists to brunch?
229
00:08:11,598 --> 00:08:13,598
Dre, we seriously need to say "yes" more.
230
00:08:13,649 --> 00:08:15,316
Can you imagine how
different our lives would be
231
00:08:15,351 --> 00:08:16,518
if we didn't say "no" so much?
232
00:08:17,736 --> 00:08:19,604
- Ohh! Wait.
- What, what?
233
00:08:19,606 --> 00:08:21,823
- We both know we don't want children.
- Mnh-mnh.
234
00:08:21,857 --> 00:08:24,192
Should we use protection?
235
00:08:24,243 --> 00:08:25,443
Nah!
236
00:08:27,113 --> 00:08:29,030
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What, what?
237
00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:30,165
- Baby...
- What?
238
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:31,616
- We already have two kids.
- Okay.
239
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,368
Should we use protection?
240
00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:34,536
Nah!
241
00:08:34,587 --> 00:08:36,788
With two kids, I could've
kept that PT Cruiser.
242
00:08:36,839 --> 00:08:38,456
That's a good argument for four kids.
243
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,624
Oh, oh, look who's coming.
244
00:08:39,626 --> 00:08:40,959
- Hey!
- Hi!
245
00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,844
What'd you think?
246
00:08:42,878 --> 00:08:45,463
You guys, thank you so
much for inviting us.
247
00:08:45,514 --> 00:08:46,798
Thank you for coming.
248
00:08:46,849 --> 00:08:49,133
Oh, God, we're so glad we
came to check it out. Yes.
249
00:08:49,135 --> 00:08:50,551
You should really come
back and join us next week.
250
00:08:51,471 --> 00:08:52,637
Yeah, will you join us?
251
00:08:55,607 --> 00:08:56,808
Yes!
252
00:08:59,824 --> 00:09:00,479
Hey!
253
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,941
Oh!
254
00:09:01,993 --> 00:09:03,994
Brothers and sisters, good morning!
255
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,412
Boop!
256
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:08,465
Whoa. Dre, you seem unusually
chipper for a Monday.
257
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:09,432
What's wrong?
258
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,151
Got my "yes" game on yesterday,
259
00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:13,403
and I took my family to church.
260
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:16,956
Wasn't looking forward to
it, but I felt great after.
261
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:18,758
Like a massage from a man.
262
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:19,876
Hmm?
263
00:09:19,878 --> 00:09:21,061
Strong hands.
264
00:09:21,095 --> 00:09:22,345
Yeah.
265
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,347
You know, I'm thinking
about going back next week.
266
00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:25,648
- Going back?
- Uh-huh.
267
00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:27,984
Okay, you're not getting
all churchy on me, are you?
268
00:09:27,986 --> 00:09:30,186
You know, looking for those free holidays,
269
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:33,339
like this one over here with
her, uh, "second new year"?
270
00:09:33,374 --> 00:09:35,208
Okay, one... I don't see anyone complaining
271
00:09:35,259 --> 00:09:37,460
when I'm on the phone with
Tokyo on Christmas morning,
272
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,279
and two... I'm proud to be a Jew.
273
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:40,396
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on.
- What?
274
00:09:40,398 --> 00:09:42,065
Stop being self-hating.
275
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:44,367
- Respect yourself, girl.
- Yes!
276
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,119
It's okay. We call ourselves Jews.
277
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,588
Not in this office you don't, little lady.
278
00:09:48,639 --> 00:09:49,756
I do church.
279
00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:52,508
I even co-signed for my reverend's Bentley.
280
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:56,079
My son can't buy a hot lunch,
but, uh, I'm going to heaven.
281
00:09:56,113 --> 00:09:57,280
Do you go every Sunday?
282
00:09:57,282 --> 00:09:58,331
Well, pretty much,
283
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,249
unless I'm getting a massage from David.
284
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,084
Ooh.
285
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:03,136
Look, just be careful, okay?
286
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,972
You go to church three
times, you get locked in,
287
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:09,442
the same way that... You sleep
with a woman for the third time,
288
00:10:09,493 --> 00:10:11,077
well, then she becomes your mistress.
289
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,696
Next thing you know, you've
bought her an apartment
290
00:10:13,698 --> 00:10:16,215
on the Wilshire Corridor
right next to Pia Zadora
291
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:17,383
and a Jersey Mike's.
292
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,635
That's why when I buy
a three-pack of rubbers,
293
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,354
I throw the third one out.
294
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,939
Reminds me to pull out.
295
00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:24,273
- Ugh!
- Ew.
296
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,374
Of the relationship.
297
00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:27,960
No, no. Don't listen to them, Dre, okay?
298
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,079
I think weekly worship is a good thing.
299
00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:31,380
As a practicing Jew, I...
300
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,215
- okay!
- Oh!
301
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:36,235
You take your hateful
mouth to H.R. right now.
302
00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,087
- I...
- Go.
303
00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,990
So my boss didn't get exactly
where I was coming from...
304
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,843
or anywhere near where I was coming from.
305
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:47,346
Babe. Stevens acted like
I'm getting all churchy.
306
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,798
Are we getting all churchy?
307
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:52,351
No. We're just making a little
more time for it for a change.
308
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:54,270
You know, that was
something that I never did,
309
00:10:54,272 --> 00:10:55,571
because growing up as a kid,
310
00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:57,106
church was shoved down my throat,
311
00:10:57,108 --> 00:10:58,274
and I didn't like it.
312
00:10:58,276 --> 00:11:00,292
Well, at least only one was forced on you.
313
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,128
- I had, like, 30.
- Hmm.
314
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,498
And after the naked church,
I was totally turned off.
315
00:11:05,549 --> 00:11:08,467
See, that right there would
have kept me interested.
316
00:11:08,518 --> 00:11:10,102
No, you're thinking "Red shoe diaries."
317
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:11,971
You need to be thinking
more "Honey Boo Boo."
318
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:13,472
- Ew.
- Yeah.
319
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,274
But seriously, last week was all right.
320
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,193
- I know, I liked it. I agree.
- Me too.
321
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:21,697
I think the Coopers' church
really could be our church.
322
00:11:21,699 --> 00:11:23,782
Hmm.
323
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:27,670
How sweet it is to be loved by you
324
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:31,507
This is not our church.
325
00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:33,676
No, it's not.
326
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,344
Is this the only song dude knows?
327
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,979
Can he at least give us a remix?
328
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,565
Right? I mean, and what about the sermon?
329
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,901
Last week, it was "life is
like a house with many rooms,"
330
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,954
and this week, it's a pair
of pants with many pockets?
331
00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:46,955
Which is it?
332
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,257
I hope it's rooms,
333
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,093
because life being
cargo pants makes me sad.
334
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,845
Don't do that here.
335
00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:54,596
God is watching us.
336
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,599
Then he's gonna be amazed by my high score.
337
00:11:57,601 --> 00:11:59,101
...love and devotion
338
00:11:59,103 --> 00:12:00,152
What happened?
339
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:02,404
It's like the second night in Vegas.
340
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,073
You've already played
Blackjack, ate the steak dinner,
341
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:08,577
and paid extra for the poncho
at the blue man group show.
342
00:12:08,579 --> 00:12:09,795
No, we got to go now.
343
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:11,129
- Now?
- Yes, now.
344
00:12:11,181 --> 00:12:12,714
If we stay any longer,
345
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,850
we'll be living next to Pia Zadora.
346
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:15,884
What?
347
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,352
Always throw away the third condom.
348
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,387
What are you talking about?
349
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,721
Just shh! Don't worry about it.
350
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,440
All right, you know what?
Come on. Everybody get up.
351
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,558
Go, let's go. No, no. What about Junior?
352
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,060
...to be loved by you
353
00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:26,445
What the hell?
354
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,946
Okay. Don't worry about him, all right?
355
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,064
I got three more. Let's go.
356
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,066
No, no, no, no, no.
Everybody sit back down.
357
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,901
Sit back down right now.
358
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:36,121
Listen, we are staying
until the service is done,
359
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,406
and then if we don't want to come back,
360
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,574
we'll play it like any
good God-fearing Christian.
361
00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:40,909
We'll just play the race card.
362
00:12:42,412 --> 00:12:45,797
So, culturally speaking, we just...
363
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:49,918
we have, like, a different
idea of Sunday church.
364
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,253
Yeah, culturally speaking,
365
00:12:51,255 --> 00:12:53,004
we're looking for
something a little more...
366
00:12:53,056 --> 00:12:54,423
Livelier. Livelier.
367
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,508
And speaking culturally,
368
00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,643
your church just isn't the right fit.
369
00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,928
- Culturally speaking.
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,480
I mean, if we're...
we're speaking culturally.
371
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,681
Culturally.
372
00:13:02,732 --> 00:13:03,899
Oh, my goodness gracious.
373
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,600
This is... this is so embarrassing.
374
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:08,603
It really is. We have been so presumptuous.
375
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:09,854
Oh, well.
376
00:13:09,906 --> 00:13:12,107
Of course you have your own
culturally specific church.
377
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,942
Yes. Who doesn't?
378
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:16,077
That we would love to give
a try with you next Sunday.
379
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:18,780
If that's okay.
380
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,282
Yes! Yes!
381
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,335
Oh, my goodness gracious.
382
00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:27,727
Alright, Ma.
383
00:13:29,297 --> 00:13:30,630
I've been thinking about what you said,
384
00:13:30,681 --> 00:13:33,817
and maybe it is time for us
to get back to church with you.
385
00:13:33,868 --> 00:13:35,235
Oh, please.
386
00:13:35,237 --> 00:13:38,972
Don't pretend like you're having
a come-to-black-Jesus moment.
387
00:13:39,006 --> 00:13:42,475
I heard those snowflakes
invited themselves to my church.
388
00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:44,995
Those "snowflakes" are the Coopers,
389
00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:47,297
and they're a very nice
couple who we need to convince
390
00:13:47,331 --> 00:13:48,798
we're regular black church goers.
391
00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:50,266
Oh, so you're more concerned
392
00:13:50,301 --> 00:13:52,018
with the opinion of these strangers
393
00:13:52,053 --> 00:13:54,387
than you are the souls of your babies.
394
00:13:54,422 --> 00:13:56,823
Mom, I'm not getting
into this baptism thing
395
00:13:56,874 --> 00:13:57,874
with you right now.
396
00:13:57,925 --> 00:13:59,175
Fine.
397
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,693
I guess I should just be grateful
398
00:14:00,728 --> 00:14:02,512
you're finally coming
back to church with me.
399
00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:05,832
Oh, and the white folks
are more than welcome.
400
00:14:05,866 --> 00:14:07,534
Black Jesus doesn't see color.
401
00:14:07,618 --> 00:14:10,587
You're lucky he doesn't see crazy.
402
00:14:10,638 --> 00:14:12,472
Oh. And listen, baby boy.
403
00:14:12,523 --> 00:14:15,608
I have explained your absence by saying
404
00:14:15,643 --> 00:14:19,078
you have been off fighting the Taliban.
405
00:14:21,048 --> 00:14:22,749
Don't make a liar out of me!
406
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:27,737
Don't you look nice in
the suit I bought you!
407
00:14:27,771 --> 00:14:30,874
Oh, you looked ridiculous
in those little-boy suits.
408
00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:33,009
Thanks for talking me into the hat.
409
00:14:33,043 --> 00:14:34,260
Oh, yeah!
410
00:14:35,262 --> 00:14:36,479
All right.
411
00:14:36,513 --> 00:14:38,614
Uh... Welcome.
412
00:14:38,649 --> 00:14:40,199
Thank you.
413
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:42,035
Guys, we are so glad to be here.
414
00:14:42,069 --> 00:14:43,836
Oh, we are so glad
415
00:14:43,887 --> 00:14:47,390
to have you here at
our... Regular church home.
416
00:14:47,424 --> 00:14:50,193
Yeah. Regular. Like, with regularity.
417
00:14:50,244 --> 00:14:51,194
Regularity.
418
00:14:51,245 --> 00:14:52,912
Do you have a favorite place, or...
419
00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:54,113
Somewhere in the middle...
420
00:14:54,115 --> 00:14:55,364
Um, down the middle... left. Front.
421
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,549
In the left Right.
422
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,517
Le... okay. Okay. Let's just go down.
423
00:14:57,551 --> 00:14:58,384
Oh, oh.
424
00:14:58,435 --> 00:15:03,139
Down by the riverside
425
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:15,234
Down by the riversi-i-i-de
426
00:15:17,271 --> 00:15:18,838
Oh! That was so beautiful.
427
00:15:18,872 --> 00:15:19,839
Yeah, wasn't that great?
428
00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:20,873
Wake up to the music
429
00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:22,425
Oh. Again? Okay.
430
00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:23,943
Come on. Everybody up.
431
00:15:23,977 --> 00:15:27,947
Time for me to turn around,
tired of living this way
432
00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:30,533
Give me that old-time religion
433
00:15:30,584 --> 00:15:32,418
It's good enough for me
434
00:15:34,137 --> 00:15:35,671
Oh, Whoo! All right!
435
00:15:35,722 --> 00:15:37,523
- Amen! Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!
436
00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:40,359
Wow. Six songs.
437
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:43,663
Each one more uplifting than the last.
438
00:15:43,665 --> 00:15:45,748
My hands are raw.
439
00:15:45,799 --> 00:15:49,952
We will now offer
prayers for our community.
440
00:15:49,986 --> 00:15:51,070
Amen. Okay.
441
00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:54,206
Everybody knows somebody
broke into Shantay's car
442
00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,592
and stole her last good hearing aid.
443
00:15:57,644 --> 00:15:59,445
Shantay, we're all praying for you.
444
00:16:00,647 --> 00:16:02,114
Shantay!
445
00:16:02,165 --> 00:16:05,417
We are all praying for you.
446
00:16:05,419 --> 00:16:07,436
- Amen!
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
447
00:16:07,471 --> 00:16:11,407
We send prayers to our own brother Arthur.
448
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:12,658
Amen.
449
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,827
Who is fighting the good
fight against pneumonia.
450
00:16:14,829 --> 00:16:16,428
We pray for you, and we pray for you.
451
00:16:16,463 --> 00:16:17,763
Amen!
452
00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:23,035
We are also praying for
Reggie, Donita, and Dexter,
453
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,087
who are all battling cancer.
454
00:16:25,121 --> 00:16:26,338
Oh!
455
00:16:26,389 --> 00:16:30,693
And for C.C., Roberta,
and brother Silky Slim,
456
00:16:30,727 --> 00:16:34,113
who also have the cancer.
457
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,331
Is anybody okay in this church?
458
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:38,267
And, of course, my son, Andre...
459
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,186
- Huh?
- Who has finally made it home safely
460
00:16:41,188 --> 00:16:44,656
from fighting the evil Taliban.
461
00:16:46,342 --> 00:16:47,676
Praise Jesus and hallelujah!
462
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:48,677
Hallelujah!
463
00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:49,762
Hallelujah, hallelujah!
464
00:16:49,764 --> 00:16:52,948
Amen! Amen!
465
00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:55,417
And now as the ushers
pass the collection plate
466
00:16:55,451 --> 00:16:58,554
for those of us in need
of more than just prayers,
467
00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:00,689
dig deep, people Dig deep.
468
00:17:00,723 --> 00:17:03,609
Hallelujah!
469
00:17:03,611 --> 00:17:07,079
And now let us bring up
pastor James C. Hubbard,
470
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,031
and we'll get these services started.
471
00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:10,382
Hallelujah! Bring him up!
472
00:17:10,384 --> 00:17:11,216
Started?
473
00:17:11,218 --> 00:17:13,936
That was so touching.
474
00:17:13,987 --> 00:17:16,788
How are they better at
black church than we are?
475
00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:18,123
I don't know.
476
00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:20,292
Did you hear the little boy?
The little boy said "sha-na-na."
477
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,347
And the mask we put on,
478
00:17:25,398 --> 00:17:28,734
God tells us we don't have to wear it.
479
00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:30,202
Amen!
480
00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,237
God, I wish I was wearing
my compression socks.
481
00:17:32,239 --> 00:17:35,006
I can't feel my feet,
we've been here so long.
482
00:17:35,058 --> 00:17:37,175
Oh, I know you wish you was watching
483
00:17:37,177 --> 00:17:38,593
a raiders game right now.
484
00:17:38,644 --> 00:17:41,313
Or... or... or... or at a champagne brunch.
485
00:17:41,315 --> 00:17:44,366
Champagne... hallelujah! Okay, okay,
please don't start talking about food,
486
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,034
'cause some of us are hungry.
487
00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:48,837
Where they're serving biscuits and waffles!
488
00:17:48,888 --> 00:17:51,139
Waffles! Waffles!
489
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:54,392
But we are nourished
by the love of the lord.
490
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:56,228
Not true, 'cause some of us could go for
491
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:57,779
a good grilled cheese right now.
492
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,331
Or a bloody Mary.
493
00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:00,582
Amen!
494
00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:03,418
God bless you, and good afternoon!
495
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:04,970
- Whoo! Amen!
- Praise God!
496
00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:07,973
Go... immediately.
Immediately. Go right now. Go!
497
00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:10,191
Oh, my God. I think they liked it. I
think they're gonna want to come back.
498
00:18:10,226 --> 00:18:12,143
No, no, no, baby. I cannot sit
through another one of these.
499
00:18:12,145 --> 00:18:13,028
I know, I know.
500
00:18:13,112 --> 00:18:14,279
Look, we got to tell them. Okay.
501
00:18:14,281 --> 00:18:15,046
Hey.
502
00:18:15,081 --> 00:18:17,415
- Hi!
- Hey!
503
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:18,550
That was...
504
00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:19,351
Incredible.
505
00:18:19,385 --> 00:18:20,685
Just amazing.
506
00:18:20,719 --> 00:18:23,405
But, you know, I was thinking,
life is like cargo pants.
507
00:18:23,439 --> 00:18:24,906
Exactly... and, you know,
508
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:26,574
sometimes when you change your pants,
509
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:28,660
you leave your keys in your other pants.
510
00:18:28,694 --> 00:18:30,662
And you just... stay at your own church.
511
00:18:30,664 --> 00:18:32,097
Uh... hmm?
512
00:18:32,131 --> 00:18:33,681
Oh, is...
513
00:18:33,716 --> 00:18:36,317
Oh, you... you didn't...
you didn't like our church?
514
00:18:36,352 --> 00:18:39,988
Culturally speaking, uh, it is a little...
515
00:18:40,022 --> 00:18:41,406
Long.
516
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,242
- You know, if we're speaking culturally.
- Culturally.
517
00:18:45,578 --> 00:18:47,745
Well, you're gonna be
missed, because next Sunday
518
00:18:47,796 --> 00:18:49,380
is "catch the holy ghost" Sunday.
519
00:18:49,382 --> 00:18:50,932
Oh, well, that does sound
really interesting...
520
00:18:50,983 --> 00:18:52,233
no! Nope.
521
00:18:52,268 --> 00:18:55,119
There's no take-backs
at black church. Nope.
522
00:18:55,154 --> 00:18:57,322
Sure. That sounds like a
real and established rule.
523
00:18:57,373 --> 00:18:58,489
- Yes. It is.
- We come every Sunday.
524
00:18:58,491 --> 00:18:59,457
- We should know.
- So we... we know that.
525
00:18:59,508 --> 00:19:00,625
- Sure, yeah.
- Okay. Okay.
526
00:19:00,676 --> 00:19:03,261
Well, we'll, uh, see you at school.
527
00:19:03,312 --> 00:19:04,479
Which is in just a few hours.
528
00:19:05,598 --> 00:19:07,065
- At school.
- All right. Awesome.
529
00:19:15,407 --> 00:19:17,208
- Hey!
- I'm... I'm tired.
530
00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:18,609
- Hey!
- Dre, come on.
531
00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:20,461
This is the first Sunday
we've been able to sleep in
532
00:19:20,512 --> 00:19:21,612
in a while.
533
00:19:21,647 --> 00:19:22,880
Yeah.
534
00:19:22,915 --> 00:19:26,901
You know, I can't believe
I'm about to say this, but...
535
00:19:26,935 --> 00:19:29,987
I'm over here thinking about church.
536
00:19:30,022 --> 00:19:31,022
Naked church?
537
00:19:31,024 --> 00:19:34,125
Strangely enough, no.
538
00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:36,160
- You know what's crazy?
- What?
539
00:19:36,162 --> 00:19:37,411
I've been thinking about it, too.
540
00:19:37,462 --> 00:19:39,997
It was just such a nice feeling,
541
00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:41,849
being connected to
something bigger than myself.
542
00:19:41,884 --> 00:19:42,967
I know, right?
543
00:19:42,969 --> 00:19:45,636
You know, even though the last few Sundays
544
00:19:45,638 --> 00:19:48,139
weren't perfect, I think we could go back.
545
00:19:48,190 --> 00:19:49,974
- To the Coopers' church?
- No!
546
00:19:50,025 --> 00:19:51,475
And don't suggest Ruby's, either.
547
00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:52,476
Oh, hell no.
548
00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:54,312
But, babe, it took us three months
549
00:19:54,314 --> 00:19:56,647
to find the right mattress,
so, I mean, it's okay
550
00:19:56,682 --> 00:19:58,983
if it takes us a minute
to find the right church.
551
00:19:59,017 --> 00:20:00,151
I know. You know?
552
00:20:00,202 --> 00:20:02,036
Find the right people, the right community.
553
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,155
See if it's right for us.
554
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,990
Sounds like a good idea.
555
00:20:07,493 --> 00:20:10,461
While the two of you sleep in that bed,
556
00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:13,464
just know that in the
meantime, the three of us...
557
00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:15,499
We're reborn.
558
00:20:15,501 --> 00:20:17,434
Did you baptize our children?
559
00:20:17,469 --> 00:20:19,003
In our pool?
560
00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:21,505
This is a lot off my plate.
561
00:20:21,507 --> 00:20:23,591
For the record, he pushed me in.
562
00:20:23,642 --> 00:20:24,925
Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.
563
00:20:24,976 --> 00:20:27,678
There are no take-backs
in black church, baby girl.
564
00:20:27,746 --> 00:20:29,597
That is a real and established rule.
565
00:20:29,648 --> 00:20:31,065
Come on. Let's go.
566
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,850
- Sha-na-na!
- That's it, baby!
567
00:20:32,852 --> 00:20:34,685
Hey! Hey!
568
00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:37,025
With a love so sweet
569
00:20:37,145 --> 00:20:38,508
in so many ways
570
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,254
I wanna stop
571
00:20:40,726 --> 00:20:41,945
and thank you, baby
572
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,908
I just want to stop
573
00:20:44,937 --> 00:20:46,344
and thank you, baby
574
00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,035
oh, yeah
575
00:20:48,155 --> 00:20:52,162
How sweet it is to be loved by you
576
00:20:53,496 --> 00:20:56,551
I know I know I know sweet it is
577
00:20:57,207 --> 00:21:01,352
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