1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:03,960 Dre: The Johnson family loves Halloween. 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,670 We love the decorating... 3 00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:07,580 the trick-or-treating. 4 00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:09,460 We love the mischief. 5 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,920 But what we love most is showing out 6 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,920 in our family costume. 7 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:18,210 Now, choosing the perfect costume isn't always easy. 8 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:21,420 Sometimes we're cartoon superheroes. 9 00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:24,620 Sometimes we're real heroes. 10 00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:27,500 But this year, we get to be both. 11 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:31,040 Because of "Black Panther," we not only own the box office, 12 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,710 we own Halloween. 13 00:00:32,710 --> 00:00:34,170 All: Wakanda forever! 14 00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:35,170 Mm! 15 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:36,790 All right. Halloween dress rehearsal. 16 00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:39,420 You two need to put on these. 17 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,250 Yeah. 18 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,620 We're not dressing up this year. 19 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:45,880 But we got Black Panther. 20 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,960 And it took me two hours to do all of this. 21 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,670 And it took me two days to do all this. 22 00:00:56,620 --> 00:01:01,710 ♪♪ 23 00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:05,000 But why are you guys not dressing up? 24 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,710 No one is. What? 25 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,000 No one in our school's even doing Halloween. 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,120 The only thing going on is Cameron Carter's party, 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,620 and fingers crossed we get invited. 28 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,290 Well, of course you guys are gonna get invited. 29 00:01:15,290 --> 00:01:17,750 Are you kidding me? You're adorbs. 30 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,380 It's very exclusive. 31 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:22,380 I mean, he only has been giving out two invitations a day, 32 00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:24,000 and tomorrow's the last two. 33 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,670 That is so cruel. 34 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,750 Nuh-unh. That is so cool. 35 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,080 Build the hype. 36 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,580 Then people suck up to you to be a part of that hype. 37 00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:35,830 Then you create the demand for the hype. 38 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,500 Oh, I got to meet this dude Cameron. 39 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,000 It's Cameron Carter. 40 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000 He's so cool, he has full-name status. 41 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,420 I do not think Cameron Carter is so cool. 42 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,710 Who does he think he is? 43 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:48,120 Look, we don't have time to explain Cameron Carter to you. 44 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,670 Oh. Well, she told you. Someone's very busy. My goodness. 45 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:53,920 [ Chuckles ] And so it begins. 46 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,170 What are you talking about? 47 00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:57,330 Seventh grade. 48 00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,040 It's like a blood bath. 49 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,080 You make one mistake, and you're dead. 50 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,420 Like my seventh grade hike to the Falls. 51 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,710 The Falls. 52 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:07,170 I forgot to put a protein bar in my backpack, 53 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:09,420 and I fainted from exhaustion. 54 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:13,170 When I awoke, I was being carried by a small girl 55 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:16,460 like we were on our honeymoon in the Poconos. 56 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:17,620 [ Exhales deeply ] 57 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,250 Ladies' man rep gone like that. 58 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,620 You had a ladies' man rep? 59 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,830 You don't sweep the math awards 60 00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:25,120 and not become a ladies' man. 61 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,540 Bow... Yeah. 62 00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:29,790 Don't listen to him. 63 00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,330 Your son's a weirdo. 64 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,330 The twins, they'll be all right. 65 00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:35,420 No, he's right. 66 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,040 I remember in seventh grade, 67 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,330 I washed my hair and I let it air dry. 68 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,750 And my mom, she said I looked like 69 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:49,000 a beautiful African princess. 70 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,830 It didn't dry the way I thought it would. 71 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:54,000 Sorry, no room... 72 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,540 Helmet Hair. 73 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:58,170 Helmet Hair? 74 00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,330 That's hilarious! 75 00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:00,790 No, it's not! 76 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:04,170 Dre, they voted me "Most Likely to Survive a Car Crash." 77 00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:06,670 Also hilarious. Oh, my God. You know what... 78 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,120 Where the hell did you go to middle school, Bow? 79 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,040 The Apollo? 80 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,420 This is serious, Dre. 81 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:11,960 Seventh grade is hard enough 82 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,620 without being excluded from parties. 83 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:17,790 We need to go talk to the school. 84 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,250 It's just one party 85 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:21,670 that they still might get invited to. 86 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,460 And if they don't, then they'll deal with it. 87 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,580 And how did you deal with being left out 88 00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,790 in seventh grade? 89 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,500 I was the king of seventh grade. 90 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:32,960 I never took a loss. 91 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,540 ♪♪ 92 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:38,000 Junior, thanks for helping me pick up the dry cleaning. 93 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,830 Those choir robes are heavy. 94 00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,830 Yeah, thank you for helping me fill my day. 95 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:45,120 Gap year is definitely off to a slow start. 96 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,290 You ever feel like you've read the whole Internet? 97 00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,670 You ever feel like you didn't wash your... 98 00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:52,000 face this morning? I -- 99 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000 Hey, Miss Ruby. 100 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,080 So good to see you. 101 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,330 Oh, honey, it's good to see you, too. 102 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:58,670 [ Chuckles ] 103 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:01,330 We are so gonna need your voice tonight. 104 00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:04,000 Oh, well, you know me. When the Lord calls... 105 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,290 ♪ I come running! ♪ 106 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,290 Who's this? 107 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,080 Niecy, this is my grandson, Junior. 108 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:12,830 Nice to meet you. 109 00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,500 Niecy's our little star. 110 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,170 She's been with us since she was 10 years old. 111 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,540 I poached her from First Faith. 112 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,500 Place fell on the skids after that. 113 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,330 It's an Olive's Garden now. [ Laughs ] 114 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,080 Go, Niecy. Give him a little taste. 115 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,920 ♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪ 116 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,380 ♪ When Jesus washed ♪ 117 00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:36,170 ♪ He washed my sins away ♪ 118 00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:37,120 Wow. 119 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,000 She's never going secular. [ Chuckles ] 120 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,250 All right, you two little babies chat, okay? 121 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,880 But, uh, don't let him bore you 122 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,960 talking about that wizard Harvey Porter 123 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,670 who fights those hog wars. 124 00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:52,920 [ Mutters ] 125 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,170 It's Harry Potter, Grandma. Yeah, yeah. 126 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,880 I haven't read those books in years, so... 127 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,790 Yeah, me neither. 128 00:04:59,790 --> 00:05:01,330 I actually just re-read them. 129 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:02,460 Me, too. 130 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:03,960 They hold up, right? 131 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,330 A story for all ages. 132 00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:10,620 Anyway, what's your story? 133 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:13,750 You, uh, go to college on the first try? 134 00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:15,710 [ Laughs ] 135 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,670 [ Sighs loudly ] 136 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,710 Hello. Hi. 137 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,540 Hello, Principal Biggs. 138 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:27,210 I can't get your kids invited to Cameron Carter's party. 139 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,620 Dang it. 140 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,000 I told her. 141 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,210 Doesn't this school have a rule 142 00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:34,380 about everybody getting invited to everything? 143 00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,830 For elementary kids. 144 00:05:35,830 --> 00:05:39,040 But this is middle school, so it's kill or be killed. 145 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,080 Mm-hmm. What? That sounds very violent. 146 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,830 Don't worry, the kids figure it out. 147 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,920 Told her that, too. 148 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,250 Is there anything you can do? 149 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:48,540 Listen, if I could fix middle school for anyone, 150 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,830 I'd go back and fix it for myself. Okay. 151 00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,710 The summer between sixth and seventh grade, 152 00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:54,710 I grew 2 1/2 feet. 153 00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:55,670 Did you join the league? 154 00:05:55,670 --> 00:05:56,540 They thought I was a teacher. 155 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,540 What? Or a Yeti. 156 00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,670 That's why I became a teacher. 157 00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:00,210 Mm-hmm. Right. Okay. 158 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:03,170 Anyway, my advice is just to stay out of it. 159 00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:06,000 I told her that, too, 160 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,420 but she don't listen. Dre. 161 00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:09,170 Now, look, Principal Biggs, we'll get out of your way. 162 00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,790 You go on and do your job. 163 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:13,040 Thank you. Thank you. 164 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,250 You heard her, Bow. 165 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,380 [ Scoffs ] What do teachers know about children? 166 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:17,830 We need to do something, Dre. 167 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:20,000 Why? 168 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000 Look at them. Look at Jack. 169 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,500 He's all cocky, kicking it on top of the table. 170 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,420 He's -- And -- And look at Diane, 171 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,040 ruling the roost. 172 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,960 She looks pretty. Uh-huh. 173 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,210 They are fine, Bow. Come on. Let's go. Okay. 174 00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,920 Cameron: Yo! Final invitations! 175 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,290 Saved the best for last. 176 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:37,000 Get over here, you two. 177 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,750 Oh, my God! Yes! 178 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,620 Okay. Okay. See? Winners. 179 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,040 Okay. 180 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,540 Thank you. Whoa, what are you doing? 181 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,040 These are for them. 182 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,380 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 183 00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:52,170 We were -- We were just excitedly walking this way. 184 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:54,120 Yeah, let's just -- just go. Let's go, yeah. 185 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,080 Wait, you thought those were for you? 186 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,080 You guys are so thirsty. 187 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,750 Hey, everybody! Hold on to your drinks. 188 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,830 It's the Thirsty Twins! 189 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,880 [ Chanting ] Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins! 190 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,750 Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins! 191 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,540 Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins! 192 00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:10,670 Oh, God. 193 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,040 Hey, baby! Don't forget your new book bag! 194 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,250 Ah. Thanks, Mom! 195 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,500 All right. 196 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,880 Boy: Kid's got a purse! 197 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,500 [ Laughter ] 198 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,330 I did take a loss. 199 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,210 Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins! 200 00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:30,000 Thir-sty Twins! Thir-sty Twins! 201 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,620 Okay, we've got to do something. 202 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,580 Yeah, I'm about to punch a kid. Hold my purse. 203 00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:34,540 [ Screaming ] No! What? 204 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,920 I can't believe they clowned my kids! 205 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,750 Yeah, i-if it was Junior, yeah, I'd understand, 206 00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,500 but this was Jack and Diane. 207 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,170 Diane's petty and she's mean 208 00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:49,250 and she messed up my meet and greet with Boyz II Men, 209 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,620 but she's no loser. 210 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:53,170 I wish there was a way that I could put 211 00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,170 this Cameron Carter in his place. 212 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,580 Oh-ho-ho! Let's go on the Dark Web 213 00:07:57,580 --> 00:08:00,250 and find a child assassin. 214 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,960 Now, do you want a child who's an assassin 215 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,580 or a grown man who kills children? 216 00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,830 What? 217 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:07,920 Neither! 218 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,330 Fine, that's the last time I try to help. 219 00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:12,080 So, you need a sensible plan. 220 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,170 You need to get a disguise, go undercover, 221 00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:17,000 and enroll in the school as a cooler kid 222 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,170 named Cameron Carter. -Hmm. 223 00:08:19,170 --> 00:08:21,880 That's also a terrible plan. 224 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,580 It's like he just comes here to talk, 225 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,620 but he doesn't need our help, right? 226 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:25,620 You feel that in your spirit? 227 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,210 Some people just want you to listen. 228 00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:28,880 Dre, if you don't have the stones 229 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,330 to hire a black-market Internet assassin, 230 00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:35,250 what you need to do is throw a kick-ass rival party. 231 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,580 Oh, like Reese Witherspoon in "Big Little Lies." 232 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,210 [ Scoffs ] Amabella's party didn't stand a chance. 233 00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:44,380 You know, a rival party just might work. 234 00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,580 Wonderful, 235 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,040 because Interpol just seized Josh's computer. 236 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,120 There you go. What are you doing? 237 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,710 Fingerprints on that. I got to go. 238 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:52,170 No, no, no, no. No, no, no! 239 00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:53,330 This isn't -- [ Camera shutter clicks ] 240 00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,580 Oh, it just took my picture. 241 00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,500 Yes, I understand that is the school policy, 242 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,250 Dean Reynolds, but what about the mom policy, 243 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:03,000 which states that you expel any kid 244 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,790 that is mean to my kid? 245 00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:08,670 Uh, no, I think you're being unreasonable. 246 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,710 Uh, okay, yeah, thank you. 247 00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:13,040 I am getting nowhere with the school board. 248 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,540 Don't worry about it, all right? 249 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:15,880 I got a better plan. 250 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,330 Forget Cameron Carter. 251 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:20,290 We are throwing our own party. 252 00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:21,750 Kids! Get down here! 253 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,250 A rival party? Mm-hmm. 254 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:26,290 [ Gasps ] That is way faster than suing the school. 255 00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:27,290 What? I love that. 256 00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,460 Uh, okay. I love it! 257 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,460 Okay, come on. Come in here. Sit down. 258 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,880 Come on. Sit down. Sit down. 259 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,330 Come on. Hurry up. Sit down. Cop a squat. Yes. Come on. 260 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,830 Okay, sitting down. All right. 261 00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:37,420 We are going to save your social life. 262 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:38,460 Ha! Mm-hmm. 263 00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,500 It's too late. Hmm. 264 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,290 The janitor in the lower school told me 265 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,330 to keep my chin up... Mnh-mnh. 266 00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,790 ...but also wouldn't give me dap. 267 00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:46,120 Have no fear, little lady. 268 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,500 Your father and I are gonna throw a party 269 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,380 that is way better than Cameron Whatever's. 270 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:52,210 Mm-hmm. [ Chuckles ] 271 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,330 You know it's Carter. 272 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:55,960 I am taking away his power. 273 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,920 Snatch it. 274 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,250 Yeah, but won't everyone think 275 00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,540 the Thirsty Twins are just throwing a party 276 00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:02,500 because we didn't get invited to Cameron Carter's? 277 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,210 No! 278 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,210 Because your party will be bigger, blacker, and deffer, 279 00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:08,500 like a Chris Rock special. 280 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,960 Yeah, way better. 281 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:10,830 Mm-hmm. 282 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,000 How? 283 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,500 Well, um... Okay, uh, yeah. Good question. 284 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,500 Yeah. How? 285 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,580 We're, um... 286 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,960 Uh, because i-it's gonna be a -- 287 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,460 be a-a-a... 288 00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,000 haunted house party. Haunted house party! 289 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,750 Yes! [ Laughs evilly ] 290 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:27,080 Yes! That leads to a pizza party 291 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,710 with a deejay in the backyard. 292 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,880 Yes! Yes! Oh! 293 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,040 And then we are gonna sue the school! 294 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,670 [ Grunts ] Let's back it up just a little bit. 295 00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:36,830 Okay, it's -- 296 00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:39,960 I am going to use all of my resources at work. 297 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:40,920 Okay. Okay, I'm -- 298 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,380 I'm gonna get a special-effects guy... 299 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:46,120 Pssh! ...gonna hire a hair and makeup professional. 300 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,880 And I will get real blood from the hospital. 301 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,250 What? She might. 302 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,120 Yeah. 303 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,750 Your reps are in the gutter, 304 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,420 and ain't no way we gonna half-step. 305 00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,460 Mnh-mnh. All right? 306 00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:00,000 So get on board. Mm-hmm. 307 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,580 I don't know. 308 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:03,670 We're still not sold, dawg. 309 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:04,750 Aw, man. Yeah. 310 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,380 Look, shouldn't we just accept our place 311 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,540 and keep our heads down until this all blows over? 312 00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,290 It won't. 313 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,960 Kids never forget. 314 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,710 Ever. 315 00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:15,170 32 years ago... 316 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,540 Oh, boy. Here we go. 317 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:18,460 ...your grandma made me carry a book bag 318 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,710 that looked like a purse. 319 00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:23,830 Let's see how my friends let that go. 320 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,040 Yeah. 321 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,790 "7th grade memories?" 322 00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,330 Bam. Look at that. 323 00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:31,750 -Your purse, Purse Boy! -Dre's punk-ass purse. 324 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,710 Ronnie: My mom died. Also, your purse! 325 00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,330 32 years later, 326 00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,960 and I'm still Purse Boy. 327 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,670 Yeah. 328 00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:42,290 Okay, we're in. 329 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,880 Aw, yes! Okay. 330 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,580 This party is gonna be lit! 331 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:48,750 I regret it already. Sh-Sh-She's not 332 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,080 gonna say that when your friends are here. 333 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,460 I make no promises. 334 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,000 [ Groans ] 335 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,830 ♪♪ 336 00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,460 [ Door closes ] 337 00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,750 Hey. You just getting home? 338 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,830 Yeah, I was just hanging out with a friend. 339 00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:02,960 All night? 340 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,670 Yeah, I'm pretty tired. 341 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,670 You want Grandma to make you a cup of tea, baby? 342 00:12:06,670 --> 00:12:08,330 No, I just need to rehydrate. 343 00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,500 Okay. 344 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,460 [ Sighs ] 345 00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,830 ♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪ 346 00:12:12,830 --> 00:12:14,540 Whoo. Electrolytes... 347 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,170 Mmm. 348 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,620 ♪ Oh, Happy Day ♪ 349 00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:21,000 Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 350 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,210 Come here. 351 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:25,170 What friend were you hanging out with last night? 352 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:26,830 I was with Niecy. 353 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,380 Okay. 354 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:31,920 So, were you with her... 355 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,250 or were you with her? 356 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:38,500 Um, I think the second one? 357 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,830 Aw, Junior, I don't believe you. 358 00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:43,710 You can't be running around my church, 359 00:12:43,710 --> 00:12:45,790 having relations with people. 360 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:47,620 Yeah, it -- it was definitely the second one. 361 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,750 Do you know how clucky those church hens are? 362 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,620 They're gonna be gossiping all over the place 363 00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:55,500 about me and my gigolo grandson 364 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,000 taking advantage of that sweet little girl. 365 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,670 Niecy texted me, "You up?" and... 366 00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:02,920 Not one more word out of you, young man. 367 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,170 Go to your room. 368 00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:06,120 Go to your room and think about what you did. 369 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,000 Really? 370 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,620 No. No. Go to your room 371 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,540 and don't think about what you did. 372 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,750 Get out of here! 373 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,670 The hell is wrong with you? 374 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,500 Jack: Oh, man. 375 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,580 I didn't think you guys could do this. 376 00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,670 I mean, you got the whole seventh grade here, 377 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,170 even Cameron Carter. 378 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,920 Diane: Whoa, and Emily Copeland. 379 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,040 I heard her mom lets her have co-ed sleepovers. 380 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,750 What? I told you we would deliver the cool kids. 381 00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:35,120 Now, go, and own this moment. 382 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,880 Jack Johnson, Diane Johnson. 383 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,420 You take your full-name status 384 00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:41,670 and you just rub it in everybody's faces. 385 00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,580 Go. Go on. 386 00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:47,500 Welcome to a Jack Johnson and Diane Johnson production 387 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:50,250 of the scariest night of your life! 388 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,290 -Yes! -Whoo! 389 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,750 Oh, and do not forget to stick around 390 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:55,330 for the after party, where there's gonna be a deejay 391 00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:57,670 who will play radio edits of all your favorite songs. 392 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,960 This is lit! 393 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,540 Yeah! That's exactly what I said, Cameron Carter. 394 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,330 This is lit! 395 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,380 Like, I am legit scared. 396 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,670 This place is hype! 397 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,040 Hyp-- 398 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,330 The Hype Twins! 399 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,170 -Oh! -The Hype Twins! 400 00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:12,170 [ Chanting ] Hype Twins! Hype Twins! 401 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,880 Hype Twins! Hype Twins! 402 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,620 Hype Twins! Hype Twins! 403 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:16,620 Hype Twins! 404 00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,880 We did it. 405 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,290 We saved our kids. Yes. 406 00:14:19,290 --> 00:14:20,830 Oh, my God. Look. Go on in. 407 00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:22,210 Oh, look at that! 408 00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:25,210 Are you okay? [ Voice breaking ] Yeah. 409 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:28,460 I, uh, just never thought that I'd be such a good father. 410 00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:29,290 Oh. 411 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,620 [ Children screaming ] 412 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:36,500 It's a haunted house! It's supposed to be scary! 413 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,750 Don't leave! There's pizza! 414 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:41,920 No! The pizza's a trap! It's all a trap! 415 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,330 It wasn't real. It wasn't real. 416 00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,830 That baby had a knife! 417 00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,290 Where's Joshua? 418 00:14:47,290 --> 00:14:49,330 Has anyone seen Joshua? 419 00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,710 Uh... 420 00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:54,040 I think if we find Joshua... 421 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,790 ...we can turn this around. 422 00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:58,250 [ Demonic laughter ] 423 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,710 Hey, guys. Hey. 424 00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,080 Pizza delivery. 425 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,880 If you like, there's 40 more boxes downstairs. 426 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,250 Yep, 40 more. 427 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,670 Just go. 428 00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:12,120 I'm too upset to eat. 429 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,710 We're sorry, all right? 430 00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:16,620 We were -- We were just trying to help. Yeah. 431 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,830 And in a way, we did help, you know? Yeah. 432 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,670 Because now, no one's gonna talk about how lame you were 433 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,000 at school the other day. 434 00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:26,960 Aw, buddy. Aw, I need a hug, too. 435 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,290 Pepperoni or cheese? 436 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:29,420 Oh. 437 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,290 How did we mess this up so bad? 438 00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:36,290 Well, we were just trying to save our kids 439 00:15:36,290 --> 00:15:38,170 from being Helmet Hair and Purse Boy. 440 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,330 I know. 441 00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,880 Talking about that seventh-grade purse? 442 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,420 Yeah, it ruined middle school for me. 443 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:47,170 Your Jheri curl and all those Chocodiles you ate 444 00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,040 ruined middle school for you. 445 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,580 But you got through it, didn't you? 446 00:15:50,580 --> 00:15:53,290 If we can make things a little less awful 447 00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:55,000 for our kids, shouldn't we? 448 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,120 No. 449 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,000 Middle school is terrible no matter what. 450 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,580 Now, I know you want to protect the kids 451 00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,920 from the pain of growing up, but you can't. 452 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,830 What you can do is teach them they can handle it. 453 00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:09,830 She's not wrong. Mm-hmm. 454 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,670 It's about resilience. Mm-hmm. 455 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:15,880 I didn't let being called Helmet Hair break me. 456 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,000 Pushing through made me stronger. 457 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,330 And that's why you have the strength to go out in the world 458 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:25,580 looking like a hot mess the way you do every day. 459 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:32,040 I am a beautiful African princess. 460 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,830 Look, Ma, 461 00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:36,120 it's not easy watching your kids grow up. 462 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,420 Yeah. It happens fast. 463 00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,330 One day they're getting called names 464 00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:43,290 and the next day, they're sleeping with 465 00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:46,960 the principal soloist in your church choir. 466 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,330 Mama, what you talking about? 467 00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:51,290 Oh, it's just something I saw on "Scandal." 468 00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,500 The what? 469 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,750 Eh... 470 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,330 Excuse me. Aah! 471 00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:58,420 I'm Joshua Miller. 472 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,960 I'm looking for my parents. 473 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960 Um, you -- Okay. 474 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,210 Uh, come this way, dear. 475 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:09,040 ♪♪ 476 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,380 Junior, there you are. 477 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:13,580 Grandma, before you throw that at me, 478 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,040 you've got your church back. 479 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,790 I'm not going out with Niecy anymore. 480 00:17:16,790 --> 00:17:18,880 Well, I appreciate that. 481 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,670 And I'm sorry I upset you. 482 00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,670 You know, it was kind of reckless of me 483 00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:25,670 to hook up with someone from your church. 484 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:29,500 The truth is, is that wasn't what bothered me. 485 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,750 You know Grandma don't really give a damn 486 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:32,960 about what people think. 487 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,330 Then what made you so angry? 488 00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,540 Oh, I don't know. 489 00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:39,120 You were supposed to be off at college 490 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,580 getting your swerve on. 491 00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,040 But now you're doing this gap year thing, 492 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,880 and it's all happening in front of me. 493 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,750 You becoming a man caught me off guard. 494 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,000 I get that. 495 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,330 It's gonna take me a minute to get used to 496 00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:59,790 seeing my little grandbaby as a man. 497 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,460 I'll work on that. 498 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,830 So, do men still hug their grandmas? 499 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,830 Come here. 500 00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:13,620 [ Laughs ] Come here. 501 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:15,250 [ Chuckles ] Aww. 502 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,250 ♪♪ 503 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,830 Diane: I can't believe this. 504 00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:20,210 Jack: Do we have to go in? 505 00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:21,670 Yeah, can't we just call in sick? 506 00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:23,790 Or do that cruise ship school like Zack and Cody? 507 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:28,120 Look, guys, we know today is not gonna be easy. 508 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,960 And we are so sorry for interfering. 509 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,880 But there are just some things 510 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,710 that you are gonna need to handle on your own now. 511 00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:37,500 Okay? 512 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,460 No, not okay. Wha-- 513 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,750 You did this. 514 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:43,120 I'm gonna have to eat lunch in the bathroom because of you. 515 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,830 Yeah, you two walk us into this school. 516 00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,000 Be our human shield. 517 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,040 We -- We can't. 518 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,290 We're gonna have to be hands-off. 519 00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:52,580 All right? It's -- It's -- It's what's best. 520 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:56,330 Well, isn't that convenient for you, Andre. 521 00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,880 Let's just get this over with. 522 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,620 Have a -- Have a wonderful day. 523 00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,250 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 524 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,960 It's like watching "The Green Mile." 525 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,290 Yeah. Dead twins walking. 526 00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,830 Okay, Dre, I know I said that we wouldn't help, 527 00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:15,170 but I -- 528 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,960 I have an idea. Okay. 529 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,380 What if we do help them? 530 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:19,460 We can't, all right, 531 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,250 even though I want to, all right? 532 00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,080 But they have to do this. 533 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,580 You're right. 534 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,580 [ Sighs ] 535 00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,120 Let's get out of here. [ Dinging ] 536 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:30,830 Use your camera. 537 00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,670 I got it right here. 538 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,170 Oh, there's the twins. 539 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,040 Oh, God. Th-They can't do it. 540 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,750 You're wrong. Our kids can't do it. 541 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:42,000 [ Gasps ] They've been exiled. 542 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,880 Damn you, seventh grade. 543 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,670 You are not going to believe what happened. 544 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,000 The haunted house was so scary Cameron peed himself. 545 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:48,920 Yeah. 546 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,290 Cameron Carter peed himself? 547 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,380 A kid that pees himself doesn't get full name status. 548 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,540 And now everyone's calling him Pee Pee Carter. 549 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,880 And now we're cool because it happened at our house. 550 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,380 Oh! Oh, okay. 551 00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,710 We're back on top! 552 00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,540 Middle school is going to be amazing from here on out. 553 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,750 Nothing's gonna bring us down. 554 00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:03,710 [ School bell rings ] -Okay. -Oh, okay. 555 00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,830 Bye. I told you. 556 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,290 Okay. Bigger, blacker, deffer! 557 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,460 Okay, okay, babe. 558 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,080 [ Chuckles ] 559 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,170 I give 'em about two days, though, 560 00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:11,380 and they're gonna be brought down. 561 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:14,540 Well, let's let them live this moment. 562 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:15,620 Okay. 563 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,330 Bye, Pee Pee Carter! 564 00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,040 Dre, get -- Roll up the window! I'm going. 565 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,330 So my kids were growing up 566 00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:27,000 and learning how to handle their own business. 567 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,330 And I realized it was time to handle 568 00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:32,710 some unfinished business of my own. 569 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,120 Because if you're true to yourself, 570 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,580 it doesn't matter what people say. 571 00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:41,750 Hey, everybody. Dre's got a purse! 572 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,290 That's right [bleep] 573 00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:45,880 You think I could pull that off? 574 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,710 Shorts? No. 575 00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:49,540 But that purse, though? 576 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,710 Also no.