1
00:00:06,163 --> 00:00:08,317
I just don't understand why a cantaloupe.
2
00:00:08,318 --> 00:00:11,380
Why do people want to eat
honeydew melons anyways?
3
00:00:11,381 --> 00:00:13,087
- Mm-hmm. - I mean,
they're not that
4
00:00:13,088 --> 00:00:14,406
appetizing.
5
00:00:14,843 --> 00:00:16,205
Why the second look?
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,578
Did you forget what her butt
looked like in three seconds?
7
00:00:18,579 --> 00:00:20,712
'Cause I'm storing it. I'm a lonely man.
8
00:00:20,713 --> 00:00:23,019
- You've got a girlfriend.
- Nah, I dumped 'em.
9
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,569
- Already?
- Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:25,776
[laughs]
11
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,901
Do you think you're ever
gonna settle down with someone?
12
00:00:28,902 --> 00:00:30,859
Well, maybe if I end up in
a wheelchair or something.
13
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:33,107
Although even Stephen Hawking
got divorced, so you know.
14
00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:34,340
No, no, no. I'll take it.
15
00:00:34,341 --> 00:00:35,876
- Don't handle my food, please.
- All right.
16
00:00:35,877 --> 00:00:37,694
Why do we come here every day?
17
00:00:37,695 --> 00:00:40,551
We're in New York City, the land
of 1,000 restaurants. We come here.
18
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:41,882
A: pastrami.
19
00:00:41,883 --> 00:00:43,237
B: pastrami.
20
00:00:43,238 --> 00:00:44,825
C: I don't have to worry about
21
00:00:44,826 --> 00:00:46,333
you sleeping with the waitstaff.
22
00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:48,535
Well, that Miguel is starting
to look pretty good to me.
23
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:50,649
Yeah. He does.
24
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:51,972
He's lost weight.
25
00:00:52,431 --> 00:00:53,631
- Tell you what.
- Yeah.
26
00:00:53,632 --> 00:00:56,030
You pick up the check, you
can choose the restaurant.
27
00:00:56,382 --> 00:00:57,735
Oh, my god.
28
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:00,534
And she sees me and
she's walking right over.
29
00:01:00,554 --> 00:01:02,304
She's walkin'... Jim... Jim!
30
00:01:02,305 --> 00:01:03,922
- Hmm?
- Hey, Jim.
31
00:01:03,923 --> 00:01:05,123
- Hey.
- I heard you'd be here.
32
00:01:05,124 --> 00:01:06,561
I just came to pick up Maggie.
33
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,657
- That's her name?
- [laughs]
34
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,202
Oh, hey, can I use your keys to get in?
35
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,758
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36
00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:14,216
[humming]
37
00:01:14,217 --> 00:01:15,417
Thank you.
38
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:16,927
Bye.
39
00:01:16,928 --> 00:01:18,192
- Take care.
- Bye.
40
00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:19,715
Wow.
41
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,618
What's with the naughty nanny?
42
00:01:22,929 --> 00:01:24,908
That's Jeannie's sister from Wisconsin.
43
00:01:24,909 --> 00:01:26,143
She's staying at our apartment.
44
00:01:26,144 --> 00:01:28,162
Just my type. She's hot
and lives out of town.
45
00:01:28,163 --> 00:01:29,785
No, no, no, no, no. Don't go there.
46
00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:31,316
Nobody's going anywhere.
47
00:01:31,317 --> 00:01:33,685
I know you, Dave. You're
already halfway there.
48
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,352
She's leaving after she does
49
00:01:35,353 --> 00:01:37,073
her massage therapy seminar.
50
00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:39,006
[laughs] Are you kidding me?
51
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,494
You got this beautiful woman
52
00:01:40,495 --> 00:01:42,438
who's a massage therapist,
for Christ's sakes,
53
00:01:42,439 --> 00:01:44,312
living in your apartment,
and you're hiding her from me?
54
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,697
- Hiding her?
- Yes.
55
00:01:46,198 --> 00:01:48,065
You refuse to come to my apartment.
56
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,868
Remember you called it bio weapon lab?
57
00:01:49,869 --> 00:01:51,522
Yeah, you have five kids and two bedrooms.
58
00:01:51,523 --> 00:01:53,247
I'd rather go to Somalia
in the rainy season.
59
00:01:53,248 --> 00:01:55,740
Come on, the hot masseuse has got a
week to live. Let her have a little fun.
60
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,599
- Stay away from her.
- Ugh.
61
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,970
Besides, you don't want
to get Miguel jealous.
62
00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,260
Right?
63
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:06,512
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
64
00:02:10,114 --> 00:02:12,791
[man humming and beatboxing]
65
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:16,944
♪ ♪
66
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,668
The seminars are during the day.
67
00:02:23,669 --> 00:02:25,670
So if you and Jim want
to go out a couple nights,
68
00:02:25,671 --> 00:02:26,634
- I can watch the kids.
- Ooh,
69
00:02:26,635 --> 00:02:29,364
- we could really use a date night.
- We haven't been out in forever.
70
00:02:29,365 --> 00:02:30,626
We could go out to dinner.
71
00:02:30,627 --> 00:02:32,505
Even if Jim and I could just go for a walk.
72
00:02:32,545 --> 00:02:33,956
To a restaurant and have dinner.
73
00:02:33,957 --> 00:02:36,857
No, you know what, Jim? We shouldn't
go out. Maria's the one visiting.
74
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,222
She needs to go out and see the city.
75
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,503
Does she? I mean, shouldn't she
76
00:02:39,504 --> 00:02:40,971
bond with her nephews and nieces?
77
00:02:40,972 --> 00:02:43,426
You know, I don't know. Maybe
she wants to be an absent aunt.
78
00:02:43,427 --> 00:02:46,176
I don't kn... after dinner
we have to go to the bar
79
00:02:46,177 --> 00:02:47,872
you have to enter through the phone booth.
80
00:02:47,873 --> 00:02:50,028
- That's so cool, right?
- Jim, we're not going out.
81
00:02:50,029 --> 00:02:51,096
Well...
82
00:02:51,097 --> 00:02:53,998
Maria, Mom said that you haven't
been out since you broke up with Todd.
83
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:57,561
Why is everyone in our family so
concerned with my personal life?
84
00:02:57,737 --> 00:02:59,218
You're right. I'm sorry.
85
00:02:59,219 --> 00:03:00,538
I just did it again.
86
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:04,604
Can you please read us a story?
87
00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:06,292
- Oh.
- Yes, I can sweet pea.
88
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:07,951
Story... or a book.
89
00:03:07,952 --> 00:03:10,243
You know what the kids would
love? War and Peace.
90
00:03:10,244 --> 00:03:12,917
- Then we could go out to dinner.
- Jim, we're not going out.
91
00:03:13,879 --> 00:03:15,252
- [phone rings]
- Can you get that?
92
00:03:15,254 --> 00:03:16,736
Sure. Yeah, don't worry. I'll get it.
93
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,428
What, I'm drinking coffee.
94
00:03:19,897 --> 00:03:21,097
Hello.
95
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,360
Dave who?
96
00:03:23,164 --> 00:03:24,364
You want to come up?
97
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:25,670
Okay.
98
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,037
[buzzer buzzes]
99
00:03:27,038 --> 00:03:29,148
Why does Dave Marks want
to come up to our apartment?
100
00:03:29,149 --> 00:03:30,377
Maybe he wants to murder us.
101
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,671
- Do you owe him money?
- Me owe Dave money.
102
00:03:32,672 --> 00:03:33,938
He hasn't been up here in two years
103
00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:35,859
since he accused my kids
of giving him swine flu.
104
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:38,416
Relax. I don't know why
Dave is coming over to...
105
00:03:39,476 --> 00:03:40,678
Oh, no.
106
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,949
- What?
- Nothing.
107
00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:44,627
It's just Dave saw Maria at Katz's.
108
00:03:44,628 --> 00:03:46,260
- But I'm sure that's not...
- Jim.
109
00:03:46,261 --> 00:03:49,330
He is not laying a finger
on my little sister.
110
00:03:49,331 --> 00:03:51,021
- It's bad enough he saw her.
- Relax.
111
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,039
We don't even know why
he's coming over here.
112
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,679
Get... go out in the hallway.
Meet him in the hallway.
113
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,921
- I don't want him to see her.
- You're being ridiculous.
114
00:03:56,996 --> 00:03:58,196
Talk to him in the hallway.
115
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,798
- [coughing]
- Hey, whoa.
116
00:03:59,799 --> 00:04:01,903
Did you just run up five flights of stairs?
117
00:04:01,904 --> 00:04:03,242
- No.
- What are you doing here?
118
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,348
I just thought I'd stop by. Can I come in?
119
00:04:05,349 --> 00:04:06,908
No, we're actually... just...
120
00:04:06,909 --> 00:04:08,892
- Hi, Dave.
- Hey, Jeannie. How you doing?
121
00:04:08,893 --> 00:04:10,653
So weird you haven't
been up here in so long.
122
00:04:10,654 --> 00:04:12,302
Yeah, it's just like I remembered it.
123
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:16,664
So I just came by to pick up
my iPhone charger from Jim.
124
00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:18,619
- I didn't borrow an iPhone...
- Just give him one.
125
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:19,820
Thanks.
126
00:04:20,644 --> 00:04:22,004
- Hey.
- Hey.
127
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:23,701
I'm... I'm sorry. Have we met?
128
00:04:23,702 --> 00:04:25,686
I'm Maria. I saw you at
Katz's today with Jim.
129
00:04:25,687 --> 00:04:27,337
Right. Of course. Jim couldn't take a break
130
00:04:27,363 --> 00:04:29,074
- from eating to introduce us.
- [Maria laughs]
131
00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:32,073
How could I forget such a beautiful
laugh? Ah, I'm comedian and author,
132
00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:33,012
- actually, Dave Marks.
- Oh, hey.
133
00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:34,224
- Author?
- Yeah, I'm working on a
134
00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:35,456
series of children's books.
135
00:04:35,457 --> 00:04:37,632
Oh, Good Night, Germaphobe?
136
00:04:37,633 --> 00:04:39,354
- The Very Paranoid Caterpillar?
- Hey, Jim,
137
00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:40,320
if you need some jokes,
138
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,789
you can always just ask, you know?
139
00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:43,182
Hey, we're doing a show tonight,
140
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,502
- Maria, if you want to stop by.
- That is so nice, but
141
00:04:44,503 --> 00:04:45,762
we just have to catch up with her.
142
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,243
- It's good to see you, though.
- Bye.
143
00:04:48,377 --> 00:04:49,577
Hey, he's cute.
144
00:04:49,845 --> 00:04:51,213
Isn't he?
145
00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:53,149
Jim, can I talk to you for a second?
146
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:54,350
Yeah.
147
00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:56,618
♪ ♪
148
00:04:58,985 --> 00:05:00,189
I know.
149
00:05:00,524 --> 00:05:02,580
He is not going out with my little sister.
150
00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:05,916
Dave Marks is after one
thing and one thing only.
151
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:06,967
She just went through a breakup.
152
00:05:06,968 --> 00:05:08,966
- She's very vulnerable right now.
- I understand.
153
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:09,930
- Good. I hope so.
- Okay.
154
00:05:09,931 --> 00:05:12,423
Because I don't want to
raise five children by myself.
155
00:05:12,424 --> 00:05:14,036
[stammers] You'd divorce me?
156
00:05:14,037 --> 00:05:16,031
No, Jim, I'm Catholic. I
don't believe in divorce.
157
00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:18,027
I'm just saying if Dave
goes out with Maria,
158
00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:20,109
I would be a single mother
because I killed you.
159
00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:22,017
Wow.
160
00:05:22,018 --> 00:05:24,306
You really pick and
choose your commandments.
161
00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:25,807
Can I leave now?
162
00:05:28,051 --> 00:05:30,157
(Dave) Ooh, come on.
163
00:05:30,158 --> 00:05:31,807
I'm not that guy anymore.
164
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:33,665
- I promise.
- Really?
165
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,252
Yeah, really. Huh?
166
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,440
- All right, you can take me out to dinner.
- Okay, I'm gonna take
167
00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:39,273
- you out to dinner.
- Didn't you say you weren't
168
00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:42,112
gonna hit on Maria, then you
just show up at my apartment?
169
00:05:42,506 --> 00:05:45,137
- Ugh. You're unbelievable.
- No, no, no.
170
00:05:45,138 --> 00:05:46,907
- Look, I... I don't even
- Such a pig.
171
00:05:46,908 --> 00:05:49,714
know that woman. I was just
picking up my iPhone charger.
172
00:05:49,715 --> 00:05:51,076
[grumbles]
173
00:05:51,077 --> 00:05:52,983
Here. Turns out I have a Samsung.
174
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:55,577
Of course, you do. Look.
175
00:05:55,578 --> 00:05:57,542
I don't want you to ask Maria
out, And more importantly,
176
00:05:57,543 --> 00:05:58,606
Jeannie doesn't want you
177
00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:01,169
- to ask Maria out.
- Oh, Jeannie. That's what it is.
178
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,555
Jeannie doesn't want me to ask her out.
179
00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:04,354
You know what, man, I can't believe you.
180
00:06:04,441 --> 00:06:06,703
The way you... you pick
your wife over your friend.
181
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,221
Dave, marriage, by definition,
182
00:06:08,222 --> 00:06:09,665
is choosing your wife over your friends.
183
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:11,460
Yeah, I know a lot of guys
who don't believe that.
184
00:06:11,515 --> 00:06:13,677
- Yeah, are any of them still married?
- That's not important.
185
00:06:13,678 --> 00:06:15,759
The point is, is that
they're men of principle.
186
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,027
[scoffs]
187
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,296
Here's my principle.
188
00:06:18,297 --> 00:06:19,822
Don't ask Maria out.
189
00:06:19,823 --> 00:06:23,175
All right, fine. If it means
that much to your wife, I won't.
190
00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:24,526
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
191
00:06:24,527 --> 00:06:26,395
- I'm gonna go home.
- Okay. All right.
192
00:06:26,445 --> 00:06:28,506
Say hi to your parole officer, you eunuch.
193
00:06:28,507 --> 00:06:30,072
All right, say hi to your hand.
194
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:32,457
♪ ♪
195
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:35,985
Hello, Jim.
196
00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:40,310
This morning after I dropped
off the kids at school,
197
00:06:40,311 --> 00:06:41,771
I went to Russ & Daughters,
198
00:06:41,772 --> 00:06:43,134
and I got you an everything
199
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:44,642
- bagel with cream cheese.
- [sniffs]
200
00:06:44,643 --> 00:06:46,191
Ooh! It's still warm.
201
00:06:46,192 --> 00:06:48,455
[gasps, laughs groggily]
202
00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:50,758
Oh, my God.
203
00:06:51,616 --> 00:06:52,818
What are you doing?
204
00:06:52,819 --> 00:06:54,941
Oh, I'm just cutting
your delicious bagel up
205
00:06:54,942 --> 00:06:56,836
into tiny little bite-size pieces.
206
00:06:56,837 --> 00:06:59,041
Oh, you spoil me.
207
00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:00,542
[chuckles]
208
00:07:02,534 --> 00:07:03,734
[toilet flushing]
209
00:07:03,735 --> 00:07:04,935
What did you do?
210
00:07:05,915 --> 00:07:08,888
- You monster.
- I'm just trying to re-create how I felt
211
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:11,695
when I found out Maria
has a date with Dave Marks.
212
00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:13,491
I told Dave Maria's off-limits.
213
00:07:13,492 --> 00:07:14,731
He gave me his word.
214
00:07:14,732 --> 00:07:17,412
His word? That man has no principles.
215
00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:18,494
[gasping]
216
00:07:18,495 --> 00:07:20,398
You're gonna give a speech about principles
217
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,989
when you throw a... a bagel in a toilet?
218
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,367
(Jim) You're a sociopath.
219
00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:26,321
Do you know what this woman
220
00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:27,844
- did to my bagel?
- It was my idea.
221
00:07:27,845 --> 00:07:29,229
You can't have snakes in your backyard
222
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,589
and expect them to only
bite your neighbors.
223
00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:32,423
- What does that even mean?
- It's a metaphor, Jim.
224
00:07:32,424 --> 00:07:34,661
- In this case, the snakes represent Dave.
- I don't...
225
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,936
My baby sister has a
date with Satan tonight,
226
00:07:36,937 --> 00:07:38,235
and you have to stop it.
227
00:07:38,336 --> 00:07:40,214
I told them no. It's 8:00 in the morning.
228
00:07:40,215 --> 00:07:41,841
What... when'd they meet, huh?
229
00:07:41,842 --> 00:07:43,426
Apparently, they connected on Facebook,
230
00:07:43,475 --> 00:07:44,675
the playground of predators.
231
00:07:44,676 --> 00:07:47,905
- But I still blame you.
- You blame me? That's insane.
232
00:07:47,906 --> 00:07:49,737
Right? Isn't that right? That's insane.
233
00:07:49,738 --> 00:07:52,018
Oh, girl, I think it's cray cray,
but I'm still on Jeannie's side.
234
00:07:52,019 --> 00:07:53,391
Just... just talk to her.
235
00:07:53,392 --> 00:07:55,325
She's an adult. You're kind of an adult.
236
00:07:55,326 --> 00:07:57,187
Tell her how you feel about Dave.
237
00:07:57,188 --> 00:07:58,588
She won't listen to me, Jim.
238
00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:01,004
Every time I try to tell her
about what's wrong with her life,
239
00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,705
she accuses me of meddling
even though I'm always right.
240
00:08:03,707 --> 00:08:05,931
- She thinks I'm crazy.
- She thinks you're crazy?
241
00:08:05,932 --> 00:08:07,766
I think you're a lunatic.
242
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:10,066
You took a perfectly
good everything bagel...
243
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:12,092
And you flushed it. You flushed it!
244
00:08:12,403 --> 00:08:13,669
Okay. Okay, okay.
245
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:15,947
You're both being ridiculous.
246
00:08:15,948 --> 00:08:17,996
You're pushing them into each other's arms.
247
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,233
Haven't you ever seen The Notebook?
248
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:21,029
Of course not. I'm not a 12-year-old girl.
249
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:22,482
Jim, you've never seen The Notebook?
250
00:08:22,514 --> 00:08:24,215
I saw it on a plane twice.
251
00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:25,647
Wait. The Notebook.
252
00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:27,084
I see what Daniel's saying.
253
00:08:27,085 --> 00:08:29,547
We can't interfere. The more
we try to keep them apart,
254
00:08:29,554 --> 00:08:32,239
- the more they want to be together.
- Exactly. It's like Jim and cheese.
255
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,667
So this has nothing to do with
me looking like Ryan Gosling?
256
00:08:35,668 --> 00:08:38,646
You've got to let them go on a
date. If you just leave it alone,
257
00:08:38,647 --> 00:08:40,929
Dave will figure out that
Maria's not right for him,
258
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:42,977
and Maria will figure out
that Dave's the kind of guy
259
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:44,463
who hangs out with somebody like Jim.
260
00:08:44,469 --> 00:08:46,024
Who looks like Ryan Gosling.
261
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,139
Even from space, you look
nothing like Ryan Gosling.
262
00:08:49,619 --> 00:08:51,943
Hey, Daniel, Mad Men called.
263
00:08:51,944 --> 00:08:53,876
They want their clothes back.
264
00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:55,077
[chuckles]
265
00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:58,420
Sorry.
266
00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:01,856
♪ ♪
267
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:03,057
[sighs]
268
00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:05,106
(Maria) The Statler.
269
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:06,308
Never heard of that.
270
00:09:06,483 --> 00:09:08,466
It's by Penn Station. [laughs]
271
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:09,960
Oh. Neat.
272
00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,010
Yeah.
273
00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:13,322
- Oh, I can't believe I have a date.
- [both laugh]
274
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,306
Jeannie, to be clear, the kids have eaten,
275
00:09:15,307 --> 00:09:17,352
Maria's going out, and you're not hungry.
276
00:09:17,355 --> 00:09:19,582
Don't worry, Jim. I don't
want any of your pizza.
277
00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:21,081
[scoffs] This is not pizza.
278
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,791
It's Chicago deep dish that
took 45 minutes to cook.
279
00:09:23,792 --> 00:09:25,781
I mean, this pizza makes regular pizza
280
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,428
look like bagel bites.
281
00:09:28,430 --> 00:09:29,630
Do we have bagel bites?
282
00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:32,240
Hey, thanks for being so
cool about this, Jeannie.
283
00:09:32,241 --> 00:09:33,778
- Mm.
- I'm surprised.
284
00:09:33,836 --> 00:09:35,701
You know, I thought I overheard you say
285
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:37,243
that you don't like Dave.
286
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,020
Oh. That was Dave Attell.
287
00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:40,350
I love Dave Marks.
288
00:09:40,351 --> 00:09:42,550
I just got to let it cool for ten minutes.
289
00:09:43,512 --> 00:09:45,463
You're not gonna get hungry in, like,
290
00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:47,344
the next ten minutes, are you?
291
00:09:47,345 --> 00:09:48,592
This is so great.
292
00:09:48,593 --> 00:09:50,985
I feel like I'm just used to
everybody treating me like the baby.
293
00:09:50,986 --> 00:09:53,653
Oh, I'm sorry I ever
made you feel like that.
294
00:09:53,654 --> 00:09:55,963
- I just want to be your friend.
- No, it's fine.
295
00:09:55,964 --> 00:09:57,999
- It's in the past.
- Speaking of the past, in the past,
296
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,311
you've said you don't want a bite,
and then you suddenly want a bite.
297
00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:02,194
And your bites are kind
of like shark bites.
298
00:10:02,195 --> 00:10:04,651
- Jim... Jim, what are you talking about?
- [phone rings]
299
00:10:04,907 --> 00:10:06,742
I'm just saying that...
300
00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:10,922
if... if you're hungry,
I... ah... You know what?
301
00:10:10,923 --> 00:10:15,074
Eh, we have tuna salad in
the fridge that looks amazing.
302
00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:16,961
You know, I can make you a sandwich.
303
00:10:17,198 --> 00:10:19,790
Even cut the bread so it
looks like a pizza slice.
304
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:21,245
That would be fun for you, right?
305
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,284
Hey, how do I look? Too much?
306
00:10:23,418 --> 00:10:25,841
(Jim, in sleazy voice) Oh, yeah.
307
00:10:29,091 --> 00:10:30,701
[stammers] The pizza.
308
00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:32,179
Not... not you.
309
00:10:32,186 --> 00:10:33,449
[knock at door]
310
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,901
- Hey, what's going on, buddy?
- Hey, buddy.
311
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,474
Thought you promised you
weren't gonna ask her out.
312
00:10:37,499 --> 00:10:39,586
I didn't ask her out.
She asked me on Facebook.
313
00:10:39,657 --> 00:10:40,861
I found a loophole.
314
00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:42,490
Yeah, well, you hurt her, I kill you.
315
00:10:42,491 --> 00:10:44,471
- [snorts] All right. Yeah.
- Or I get killed.
316
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:46,617
- The point is, someone's gonna die.
- Oh, come on. You smell like cheese.
317
00:10:46,618 --> 00:10:48,098
- Get out of the way.
- I like cheese.
318
00:10:49,177 --> 00:10:51,122
- Hey, Maria. How you doing?
- Hi.
319
00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:53,184
- You look great. You all set?
- Thanks.
320
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,326
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah, okay, great. Hey.
321
00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:57,578
Thanks.
322
00:10:57,586 --> 00:10:59,452
Thank you. Bye, Jeannie.
323
00:10:59,454 --> 00:11:01,330
[chuckles] You guys have fun.
324
00:11:02,285 --> 00:11:03,485
Bye.
325
00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,031
[clicks tongue] Have a good one.
326
00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:10,054
That was like ten minutes, right?
327
00:11:10,055 --> 00:11:13,405
That was at least close enough to
328
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,569
- ten. Oh, hey, Blanca.
- Hola, Jim.
329
00:11:17,274 --> 00:11:20,608
Blanca, I, ah, I think
there was a miscommunication.
330
00:11:20,609 --> 00:11:21,827
We're not going out tonight.
331
00:11:21,828 --> 00:11:23,515
(Jeannie) Jim, get your nice clothes on.
332
00:11:23,578 --> 00:11:25,119
We're going to the Statler.
333
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,920
But...
334
00:11:26,921 --> 00:11:28,316
My... my pizza.
335
00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:29,517
[stammering]
336
00:11:29,518 --> 00:11:30,850
[panting] This...
337
00:11:30,851 --> 00:11:32,203
You have 30 seconds.
338
00:11:32,204 --> 00:11:33,406
No.
339
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,889
That looks good.
340
00:11:38,854 --> 00:11:39,953
[diners chatting quietly]
341
00:11:39,954 --> 00:11:41,488
[Jim humming quietly]
342
00:11:41,697 --> 00:11:43,029
You know, I'm gonna get
another loaf of bread.
343
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,343
You want more bread, right?
344
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:47,456
Can't believe he took her
to a place near Penn Station.
345
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,697
What's wrong with Penn Station?
346
00:11:48,698 --> 00:11:49,904
You know.
347
00:11:50,339 --> 00:11:51,539
[Jim humming quietly]
348
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:54,002
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
349
00:11:54,692 --> 00:11:57,172
Ah, you know, hey, you
know, can you get more bread?
350
00:11:57,173 --> 00:11:59,356
She wants more bread. Thanks a lot.
351
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,917
She doesn't like him.
352
00:12:03,429 --> 00:12:05,091
Dave has failed.
353
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,841
I knew she could do better
than a stand-up comedian.
354
00:12:07,842 --> 00:12:09,047
What's that supposed to mean?
355
00:12:09,048 --> 00:12:10,248
[scoffs]
356
00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:11,725
What are these people doing?
357
00:12:12,259 --> 00:12:15,370
How dare they interfere with your snooping.
358
00:12:16,131 --> 00:12:17,397
[diners chatting indistinctly]
359
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:19,704
They left?
360
00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:21,235
Did they see us?
361
00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:22,602
Come with me.
362
00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,455
Uh, I just got my linguine.
363
00:12:25,974 --> 00:12:27,708
The couple that was sitting
364
00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:28,909
at this table, where are they?
365
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:30,948
- Excuse me?
- That was my sister.
366
00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:33,022
And the man that she's
with is a known predator.
367
00:12:33,023 --> 00:12:34,952
- Do you know where they went?
- Why would I know?
368
00:12:34,983 --> 00:12:36,728
(woman) I heard their conversation.
369
00:12:36,918 --> 00:12:39,653
He talked about himself the entire meal.
370
00:12:39,654 --> 00:12:41,395
- He was pathetic.
- I know, ma'am.
371
00:12:41,396 --> 00:12:44,720
- Do you happen to know where they went?
- The creepy guy kept bringing up Hitler
372
00:12:44,721 --> 00:12:46,516
and some Bowery ball game.
373
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,295
- Bowery Ballroom.
- That's it.
374
00:12:48,296 --> 00:12:50,465
And the girl in the hooker dress,
375
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:53,720
she didn't seem interested,
but she went anyway.
376
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,785
Maybe he slipped her a Mickey.
377
00:12:55,786 --> 00:12:58,194
We have to go to the
Bowery Ballroom right now.
378
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,373
- But I'm still eating.
- What if Dave drugged Maria?
379
00:13:00,374 --> 00:13:01,588
That's insane.
380
00:13:01,589 --> 00:13:03,917
- I know who you are.
- Oh, yeah?
381
00:13:03,918 --> 00:13:06,771
You were a waiter at Del Frisco.
382
00:13:06,772 --> 00:13:09,201
- Great service.
- Ah, thank you.
383
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:12,537
- _
- [dramatic musical flourish]
384
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:13,778
[crowd chattering indistinctly]
385
00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:16,363
[loud rock music]
386
00:13:16,425 --> 00:13:18,138
Sir, no outside food.
387
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:19,615
Jim, put that away.
388
00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:21,361
Have you seen a couple here tonight,
389
00:13:21,362 --> 00:13:23,496
a woman mid-20s and a creepy looking guy?
390
00:13:23,497 --> 00:13:24,854
Honey, this is a rock club.
391
00:13:24,855 --> 00:13:26,742
You just described everybody in here.
392
00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:30,945
This woman.
393
00:13:30,946 --> 00:13:32,146
That's a baby.
394
00:13:32,605 --> 00:13:33,805
This woman.
395
00:13:33,806 --> 00:13:35,025
That's another baby.
396
00:13:35,026 --> 00:13:36,675
No, the woman holding the baby.
397
00:13:36,905 --> 00:13:38,664
No, do you guys want anything to drink?
398
00:13:38,953 --> 00:13:40,522
Oh, Brooklyn lager, please.
399
00:13:40,523 --> 00:13:41,750
Danke.
400
00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:43,860
What, I'm not on duty.
401
00:13:43,861 --> 00:13:45,862
No, show her a picture of Dave.
402
00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:47,997
Why would I have a picture of Dave?
403
00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:49,590
- I'm not dating him.
- [Jeannie sighs]
404
00:13:49,591 --> 00:13:51,419
Oh, you mean... Oh.
405
00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,020
His website.
406
00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:55,280
Ugh. Have you seen this guy?
407
00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:57,830
Oh, him, yeah. He was
here with a girl earlier.
408
00:13:57,831 --> 00:13:59,232
He couldn't keep his hands off her.
409
00:13:59,233 --> 00:14:01,441
Ew. I knew he roofied her.
410
00:14:01,442 --> 00:14:02,580
- Stop.
- Where'd they go?
411
00:14:02,581 --> 00:14:03,837
They said something about The Cage.
412
00:14:03,838 --> 00:14:05,624
I don't know. They weren't here very long.
413
00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:09,172
Dave Marks took my baby sister
to a place called The Cage?
414
00:14:09,173 --> 00:14:11,349
It's just a club on the lower east side.
415
00:14:11,442 --> 00:14:12,647
Let's go.
416
00:14:12,648 --> 00:14:14,708
No, no. [mumbles]
417
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:17,245
Jim. Now.
418
00:14:19,536 --> 00:14:21,755
I'm not leaving the pasta.
419
00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:23,170
Still got a lid.
420
00:14:24,102 --> 00:14:25,382
- _
- [dramatic musical flourish]
421
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,864
[music thudding distantly]
422
00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:30,936
Takes an hour to get into a club?
423
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,477
Only the good ones.
424
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:38,037
I can't believe he took
her to see strippers.
425
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,669
I think that's burlesque.
426
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:40,915
How is it different?
427
00:14:40,916 --> 00:14:43,726
Eh, those women probably have PhDs.
428
00:14:44,107 --> 00:14:46,116
Let's split up, see if
we can track them down.
429
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,318
Okay.
430
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:51,781
Hi.
431
00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:53,714
Ah, do you know Dave?
432
00:14:53,715 --> 00:14:55,486
I'm gonna get a beer.
433
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,517
Excuse me. Have you seen this girl?
434
00:14:57,616 --> 00:15:00,290
You haven't seen her? You
haven't seen her around? Okay.
435
00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:03,139
Excuse me. Excuse me.
436
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,495
Excuse me.
437
00:15:04,496 --> 00:15:06,556
Excuse me. Have you seen this girl?
438
00:15:06,722 --> 00:15:08,862
This girl here. You haven't seen her?
439
00:15:08,863 --> 00:15:10,981
[loud dance music]
440
00:15:10,982 --> 00:15:13,634
♪ ♪
441
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,517
This is good information.
442
00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:16,757
- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks.
443
00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:18,914
You really think it's
better than Shake Shack?
444
00:15:18,915 --> 00:15:19,690
Yeah.
445
00:15:19,691 --> 00:15:22,312
Why would I go all the way
to Greenpoint for a burger?
446
00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:23,751
(Jeannie) What did you find out?
447
00:15:23,752 --> 00:15:26,313
Uh... [stammers]
448
00:15:26,314 --> 00:15:28,744
- Not much.
- Ugh. Me either.
449
00:15:28,745 --> 00:15:30,051
In fact, people seemed annoyed
450
00:15:30,052 --> 00:15:31,741
that I was asking about my sister.
451
00:15:32,221 --> 00:15:34,491
And nobody has even heard of Dave Marks.
452
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:35,772
Oh, I know Dave Marks.
453
00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:37,636
- He just left.
- Where did he go?
454
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,725
He was going to do the
Whiplash show at UCB.
455
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,227
Let's go.
456
00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:42,684
Thanks, Amanda.
457
00:15:42,685 --> 00:15:44,081
Well, it's actually Nancy.
458
00:15:44,082 --> 00:15:47,127
I just go by Amanda when
weirdos talk to me after my show.
459
00:15:47,703 --> 00:15:49,520
Oh. Okay.
460
00:15:51,052 --> 00:15:52,252
- _
- [dramatic musical flourish]
461
00:15:52,253 --> 00:15:53,553
[laughter]
462
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:54,975
It's pitiful.
463
00:15:55,124 --> 00:15:58,165
Thinks he can use his
stand-up as an aphrodisiac.
464
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,374
Well, it did work on you.
465
00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:01,999
Oh, my god. You're right. Where is she?
466
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,850
- Hey, Hannibal.
- Hey, Jim, I love you,
467
00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:05,345
but there's no room on the show, man.
468
00:16:05,346 --> 00:16:06,551
It's totally booked up.
469
00:16:06,552 --> 00:16:08,122
Dave Marks went crazy long.
470
00:16:08,123 --> 00:16:09,877
That bastard. Where is he?
471
00:16:09,939 --> 00:16:11,172
I think he left.
472
00:16:11,276 --> 00:16:12,663
Well, who does he think he is?
473
00:16:12,664 --> 00:16:14,400
What, he thinks rules don't apply to him?
474
00:16:14,401 --> 00:16:16,214
I'm not gonna let him get away with this.
475
00:16:16,321 --> 00:16:18,484
Okay, if she's gonna be
that wild about it, it's...
476
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,904
I'll give you eight minutes.
477
00:16:19,905 --> 00:16:21,088
Eight minutes, I'll squeeze you in.
478
00:16:21,089 --> 00:16:22,554
Let's go.
479
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:24,983
Damn, Jeannie, all
right, you can go on next.
480
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:27,043
But you got to get your balls back, man.
481
00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:28,439
This is out of control.
482
00:16:29,811 --> 00:16:31,211
You're not going on.
483
00:16:31,647 --> 00:16:32,904
I can't believe you went on.
484
00:16:32,905 --> 00:16:34,551
That pope bit has potential.
485
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,270
- Any word from Maria?
- No.
486
00:16:36,271 --> 00:16:37,471
I guess we'll just go home.
487
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:39,108
Is there any place else that Dave might go
488
00:16:39,109 --> 00:16:41,330
this time of night: The Cellar, The Silka?
489
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:43,097
- Crif Dogs?
- Dave goes there?
490
00:16:43,098 --> 00:16:44,302
No, I just want a hotdog.
491
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,165
There is one place he's
mentioned a couple of times.
492
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:48,763
- _
- [dramatic musical flourish]
493
00:16:50,599 --> 00:16:52,100
Now, this is a strip club.
494
00:16:52,101 --> 00:16:53,984
Oh, I am so glad you're not the kind of guy
495
00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:55,362
that goes into places like this.
496
00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:57,075
Jim!
497
00:16:57,076 --> 00:16:58,505
♪ ♪
498
00:16:58,506 --> 00:16:59,706
I...
499
00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:07,607
(Jim) I swear, I've never been here before.
500
00:17:07,608 --> 00:17:09,310
- How do you know Jim?
- Oh. [laughs]
501
00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:10,625
I own all his albums.
502
00:17:10,626 --> 00:17:13,232
Hey, thanks for keeping it
clean. I can listen with my kids.
503
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,172
Oh, cool. Um...
504
00:17:15,272 --> 00:17:16,777
Do you know Dave Marks?
505
00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:19,026
Yeah, his jokes are a little
too risqué for my taste.
506
00:17:19,423 --> 00:17:20,626
Hey, Peaches.
507
00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:22,385
Is Dave in there right now?
508
00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:25,215
We got a strict policy about the
confidentiality of our clients.
509
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:28,311
Right. Okay, so I guess we'll
just go in and take a look around.
510
00:17:28,312 --> 00:17:29,593
Whoa. I'm not going in there.
511
00:17:29,899 --> 00:17:31,281
All right, I'll go in...
512
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:33,267
You are not going in there either.
513
00:17:33,495 --> 00:17:36,025
Look, man, I really need
to know if Dave's in there.
514
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:37,231
Sorry, bro.
515
00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:39,751
Oh, I see what's going on here. [laughter]
516
00:17:40,569 --> 00:17:45,470
Maybe my friend Abraham
Lincoln can jog your memory.
517
00:17:46,287 --> 00:17:47,856
A $5 bill?
518
00:17:48,512 --> 00:17:50,211
All right. [clears throat]
519
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:53,797
What if he's joined by his buddy...
520
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:57,405
- George?
- Jim.
521
00:17:57,406 --> 00:17:58,694
- I just...
- Stop.
522
00:17:58,695 --> 00:18:00,407
We spent a lot of cash tonight.
523
00:18:00,408 --> 00:18:02,091
Keep your money. He's not here.
524
00:18:02,295 --> 00:18:04,117
(Macaulay Culkin) He's
built like a tuna can.
525
00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:05,622
I swear. [laughs]
526
00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:07,077
Oh, hi, Jim. How you doing?
527
00:18:07,078 --> 00:18:08,447
[clicks tongue] Hey. [laughs]
528
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,528
Is that...
529
00:18:10,699 --> 00:18:12,931
He's... he's... Don't even ask.
530
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,375
Probably not.
531
00:18:15,904 --> 00:18:17,104
[subway wheels clacking]
532
00:18:17,235 --> 00:18:18,839
Yeah, don't mind us.
533
00:18:19,174 --> 00:18:21,191
It's not like he kidnapped her.
534
00:18:22,823 --> 00:18:24,412
Dave did not kidnap her.
535
00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:25,785
This is ridiculous.
536
00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:27,443
She's 25 years old.
537
00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:29,116
- You're right. You're right.
- She's fine.
538
00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:31,214
I can't stop her from
making her own mistakes.
539
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,123
What am I gonna do when
the kids grow up, Jim?
540
00:18:34,391 --> 00:18:35,591
Don't worry.
541
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,544
I'll have you committed by then.
542
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:38,910
[chuckles]
543
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,111
Be honest.
544
00:18:40,865 --> 00:18:42,323
Am I really crazy?
545
00:18:43,495 --> 00:18:44,699
Yes.
546
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,634
And that's what I love about you.
547
00:18:48,702 --> 00:18:50,457
I'm sorry I ruined your night.
548
00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:52,120
Are you kidding?
549
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,557
We haven't gone out like this in years.
550
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,689
I'm not making out with you on the subway.
551
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:01,993
I was just trying to give you a hug.
552
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,951
♪ ♪
553
00:19:04,358 --> 00:19:05,958
[both sighing]
554
00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:07,240
Maria.
555
00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:08,737
Hey, party people.
556
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,969
You guys were out late.
557
00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:12,259
Wait. How was your date?
558
00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:17,037
Um, I did something really stupid.
559
00:19:17,479 --> 00:19:19,715
Okay. You know what, whatever it is, it...
560
00:19:19,716 --> 00:19:22,299
before you say anything, you're an adult.
561
00:19:22,338 --> 00:19:23,761
You make your own decisions.
562
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,165
And I love you.
563
00:19:25,323 --> 00:19:27,335
I... I absolutely agree.
564
00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:29,350
I ate Jim's pizza.
565
00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:32,064
- You whore.
- Jim.
566
00:19:32,065 --> 00:19:34,896
I mean, didn't you eat
when you went out to dinner?
567
00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:36,652
- It's... [scoffs]
- I had to get out of there.
568
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:37,931
I was home at, like, 9: 00.
569
00:19:37,932 --> 00:19:39,589
Yeah, no, we figured.
570
00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:41,302
- You know.
- You ate the whole thing?
571
00:19:41,536 --> 00:19:42,736
I mean,
572
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:43,968
Really?
573
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:45,363
Jim, you already ate.
574
00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:47,127
I didn't eat Chicago deep dish.
575
00:19:47,128 --> 00:19:52,067
That I cooked personally with
these hands for 45 minutes.
576
00:19:52,071 --> 00:19:53,108
But no, you know what? Don't worry.
577
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,142
I don't want to wake up
the kids. But you're lucky.
578
00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:56,996
Dave talked about himself the entire time.
579
00:19:56,997 --> 00:19:58,242
Yeah, that's him.
580
00:19:58,243 --> 00:20:00,199
And did you know that
he lives with his mother?
581
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,493
Yes.
582
00:20:01,494 --> 00:20:02,798
You know, speaking of family,
583
00:20:02,799 --> 00:20:05,850
my brother Joe, who
might be dead any minute,
584
00:20:05,851 --> 00:20:08,539
gave me that pizza. Not that
you care. All right, so just...
585
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,166
You know, Jeannie, I really wish that
586
00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:12,290
you would have just told
me Dave's not my type.
587
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:13,881
I would much rather have spent the night
588
00:20:13,889 --> 00:20:15,374
hanging out with the kids.
589
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,955
[laughter]
590
00:20:16,956 --> 00:20:18,697
You... you think after the pizza incident
591
00:20:18,698 --> 00:20:20,298
we're gonna let you around our children?
592
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:21,747
- Tell her.
- I'm so sorry.
593
00:20:21,748 --> 00:20:23,110
I didn't want to meddle.
594
00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:24,971
Next time, please, meddle.
595
00:20:24,972 --> 00:20:26,644
- I would love that.
- Yeah, me too.
596
00:20:26,645 --> 00:20:28,766
- I will do that.
- [both laugh]
597
00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:29,967
[coos]
598
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,323
Oh.
599
00:20:31,324 --> 00:20:32,611
Jim, what are you doing?
600
00:20:33,136 --> 00:20:35,136
I'm gonna cut the pizza out of your sister.
601
00:20:35,137 --> 00:20:36,803
[both laugh]
602
00:20:39,366 --> 00:20:41,266
I'm serious.
603
00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:42,694
- _
- [dramatic musical flourish]
604
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,610
[camera shutter clicks]
605
00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:46,979
[indistinct police radio chatter]
606
00:20:48,419 --> 00:20:50,381
- [sighs]
- [camera shutter clicks]
607
00:20:50,642 --> 00:20:53,122
- What kind of monster would do this?
- [camera shutter clicks]
608
00:20:54,392 --> 00:20:55,914
- [sighs]
- I know.
609
00:20:55,949 --> 00:20:57,970
She ate the whole thing.
610
00:20:59,311 --> 00:21:01,050
Chicago deep dish.
611
00:21:01,264 --> 00:21:02,621
I'm sorry.
612
00:21:02,622 --> 00:21:04,360
The specialist victim...
613
00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:05,561
ever.
614
00:21:05,562 --> 00:21:06,762
[crunches]
615
00:21:07,752 --> 00:21:12,752
Sync & corrections by PetaG
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