No! The four is missing!
I’m taking it. Great.
Did it come out? Give it to me. Bring it over.
Give it to me.
It came out great. See that?
-You see that? -No.
Okay, off you go. Now listen up, kids.
Today I'm going to tell you about the striking techniques
of the world-class soccer players.
But first an overview of soccer.
Power is everything in soccer, kids.
Be like a hippo.
Be like a bear.
Show your power on the field.
How are you going to do that?
Look. What's this?
-A shoe. -Not just a shoe!
It's a weapon.
The most important weapon in soccer. What’s this?
-A shoe’s toe? -It’s what you use for a toe kick.
Use your toe to kick.
Don’t bother with your instep. Just kick with your toe.
-Understand? -Understood.
The real soccer heroes are Hami Mandıralı, Ünal Karaman,
Ayı Gökmen, Rambo Yusuf.
Recep from Beşiktaş. They reverse shots into their own goals.
But they show power. Can you follow me?
-Are you with me so far? -Yes.
Well then, let me demonstrate using Hayrettin. Hayrettin, go to the goal.
Right, kids. Are you going to learn toe-kicks?
Yes, we are!
Let’s go, little tigers! Watch closely.
In the name of God.
He’s out.
He’s out. Take Hayrettin to the hospital.
Leave him at the clinic. Run.
Run.
-What's going on there? -Dig up to the corner.
-Right up to the corner. -What’s up?
-Recep, your shoe. -Thanks. Get back to work.
-What are you doing here? -We’re exploring.
What are you exploring? This is the same old Güngören.
If’s there’s anything to explore, let’s do it together.
We’re the property owners. Mr. Ali bought this lot.
A building’s going up here.
Hey! You might be the owners but we’re the locals!
This is the only soccer field in the neighborhood.
Kids play here for years.
İbrahim left the lot to us when I was a kid.
Anyway, he left here.
We’re talking about the same thing. He left.
But he’s left for good. It’s just as well he’s gone.
He’d be sad if he saw how things are now.
The way his relatives fought after he died. Oh boy.
All that fighting and carrying on.
I had to intervene with the help of the police.
His boss is the rich Ali Alkantara.
I called him and said, come over here, Ali,
there’s a land, buy it,
I’ve got no expectations, build on it.
Hey! What’s all this about?
This and that. What are you trying to say?
-But... -Shut up.
-I mean... -Shut up.
You’re getting on my nerves.
I won’t let anyone build anything on this lot.
This is our soccer field. I’ll talk to this Mr. Ali if I have to.
I’ll explain it to Mr. Ali. Now take me to Mr. Ali.
Get going. I’m following you. Lead the way.
-Greetings, brother. -Greetings.
-Are you Ali Alkantara? -Yes, I’m Ali Alkantara.
I’m Recep İvedik.
As far as I've heard, you’ve bought our soccer field.
You’ve decided to build on it.
I won’t let you do that, brother.
We’ve been playing soccer there since I was a boy.
I played there, and now a new generation of kids is playing. Understand, brother?
That’s why I won’t let you build on that lot.
-Get that into your head. -I invested money.
Did I need your permission?
I’ll give you such a smack!
Get your dog off me. I’ll be honest, Ali.
You might be some kind of mafia, but there’s nothing I won’t do, Ali.
Wise up, Ali.
Don’t piss me off, Ali.
I’ve got ways to get what I want, too, Ali.
Who cares what you think?
-I paid for it. -How much was it?
-250 thousand. -I’ll give you 300 thousand.
Sell me that lot.
-What is 300 thousand? -It's business, Nurullah.
We’ll play by his rules.
It’s all yours.
-Take it. -Pay within three months.
If you don't pay, I’ll take a bulldozer to the lot.
You’re a weird guy. What are you all about?
Are you a faggot or a mafia, it’s hard to tell.
-You have three months. -Sure.
I made a promise. I’ll bring the money in three months
and the lot is mine. -Okay, it is yours.
Now excuse us. Get going, Nurullah.
-Greetings. -Greetings.
Thank you all for being here tonight.
First, I’m going to brief you, then I’ll explain.
I was coaching the kids today
when a bunch of guys came and said they had bought the field.
Our soccer field for all these years.
The soccer field where we have been playing
all these years, since we were kids.
An oasis in the middle of all this concrete.
-Do you follow me? -Yes.
I immediately set off to see the entrepreneur who had bought it.
I went there and talked to him.
I offered him more than he had paid for it
and got the lot back for our neighborhood.
-Good for you. -You’re a real man.
But it came at a price.
You wonder how much.
300 thousand liras. I’m screwed.
That’s a lot of money.
That’s why I’m in trouble. I’m screwed.
Actually we’re all screwed.
If I’m screwed, we’re all screwed. A real daisy chain.
Am I the fall guy here? If I’m screwed, so are you.
It’s that simple.
Shut up now.
And that’s why
I’m asking you to empty your pockets into the bag
Nurullah is holding, to help shoulder the expense.
Come on, let’s see what you got.
Look, a bottle cap.
Someone threw in nail clippers.
What a bunch of jerks.
Look at this. Someone put in a cotton swab.
A used cotton swab.
It’s covered with yellow ear wax.
Look, smell it.
Who would do that to the kids?
We need money for the kids. Put it aside.
I’ll send it to forensics and find out who did it.
I suspect it was Servet.
But when I have it checked and once we’ve got some DNA
I’ll get a sample from him, get it?
But not with a swab from his ear.
Add this.
-And 54.70. -Add this.
-55.70. -You can sell the lighter to the grocer.
Finished. How much altogether?
-It's 55.70. -That’s shameful.
It’s embarrassing.
Just 55.70 from 30 or 40 people?
This won’t do. We won’t get there with them.
We need to find some rich guys.
Get it? Guys who have cash in their pockets.
Get it? They’re the ones with money. We’ll milk them for it.
We’ll get them to donate. That’s how it works.
Hello. Have a good day, sir.
I’d like to talk to Rahmi Koç.
Well, where is he? Out?
What do you mean, out?
If you tell me his exact location, I might be able to catch him.
It’s about a piece of land and some money.
We only need him to give us a little. Then give me his son, Mustafa Koç.
Where is he? Playing golf.
Then give me the other one.
Give me Ali Koç. The handsome one.
At a game? He’s always out playing soccer.
Give me his little brother, Kâmil Koç.
He isn’t a family member? Have you disowned him?
What a shame, an old family like yours can’t even share.
He’s out on the road every day.
Hang up, then.
You’d think the secretary owns the company.
I before e,
except after c.
Was it palatal harmony?
Hello, Özge. Is that you? You’re not Özge Ulusoy?
Don’t tell me it’s the wrong number. This is your home phone.
You’re the same old Özge Ulusoy. Please.
Get us some of your dad’s money. Who’s your dad?
Isn’t your dad Yılmaz Ulusoy? What do you mean, no?
Özge Ulusoy isn’t from the Ulusoy family?
I won't buy it.
You can’t fool me, Özge.
All right then, Özge. I don’t need you. Leave me alone!
I don’t need you. Give me your brother. Çağatay Ulusoy.
Çağatay Ulusoy isn’t your brother?
What do you mean, you’re not even related?
Nearly all the rich and famous share the same last names.
Damn you.
Damn you to hell.
You’re not what you seem.
Friends tell the painful truth. Your belly button is almost in your mouth.
This’ll never work.
We have to get to the mother lode.
Palatal harmony. I keep thinking about it.
But does the rule apply to numbers?
What about science?
Hello. Have a good day.
Is that Tübitak? Put a few businessmen on the line, one after another.
Put them through to me, not to each other.
There are no businessmen? What have you got?
Scientists? Tübitak should have businessmen.
Doesn’t it stand for “The Leading Businessmen of Turkey”?
That’s Tüsiad? Tüsiad?
I’ve never heard of Tüsiad.
I know a few organizations, UEFA, TJK, Turkish Language Board.
Those are the ones I know. Tüsiad is a mystery to me.
Sorry about that, brother.
May God protect you.
Eat lots of molasses and tahini. It’s good for the brain.
Guys, I trust you but you’ve never done anything useful.
We haven’t launched a satellite for so long.
Where did we launch it?
But from where? Wasn’t it from French Guiana?
Be enterprising and productive.
Okay, hang up. Cut it short.
Hang up.
That scientist gives me advice.
Here I am working away and what are you doing? You’re playing games.
I’m the only one working for the kids.
Slow down.
I’ll do something like this.
Quick, take me to that cubicle.
Quickly. Step on it.
-Is it purchasing department? -Yes.
Hello.
I’ve got a deal for you.
If I said I had a nice, live,
stone-free, well filtering, nicely marbled with fat
about eight pounds, brand new kidney, how much would you pay for it?
-What kidney, sir? -A human kidney. My own kidney.
I’m sorry, sir. There is a misunderstanding.
This is the purchasing department of the hospital. We buy medical equipment.
-We don’t buy kidneys. -I see.
-Spleens? -For goodness sake.
Get a spleen. It’s medical equipment.
Sir, this is a hospital, not an abattoir. And I’ve got work to do.
I’ll give you my small intestine. You can make chitlins.
I have more than I can use.
I eat, and out it goes.
Fix me up a direct exit. I’ll eat and shit all at once.
You’ve gone too far. I won’t take that filth.
It’s time you left. I’m busy.
-You won’t take my kidney? -No sir, we won’t.
-You won’t take anything? -What could I take?
Now let me show you out.
Sorry, it was an accident.
-Be careful. -Sorry, it was an accident.
Sorry about that.
-Hello. -Hello.
-You’re the branch manager? -Yes.
I was looking for you.
-Yes? -Hello.
How can I help you?
It’s about a loan.
What kind of loan? A personal loan? Home or vehicle?
-A personal loan. -Have you decided how much?
-Yes. -How much?
300 thousand.
-What? -300 thousand liras.
Sir, we can’t extend a loan that high.
We approve sums between five and ten thousand.
If I needed five or ten thousand, why would I come here?
-This is a bank, right? -Yes.
I could collect ten thousand from my friends.
What’s the advantage of being a bank then?
-But, sir, like I said... -Shut up.
-Sir... -Shut up.
-It’s called a personal loan, right? -Yes, a personal loan.
Well I’m a person in need of 300 thousand.
We can’t approve such a sum.
It’s impossible to give you a personal loan for the sum.
It’s not called sun, but sum, let’s make that clear.
The sun is what shines down on us by the grace of God.
Sum. I’ve got a way with words, you see.
-All right. -Look, I visited a bunch of banks
and chose yours because it seemed best.
I’m not chosen, I choose. I’ll go to a different bank.
I’ll walk out and go to a different bank.
Okay, sir. Let me have your ID card and I’ll see what I can do.
That’s better. Here’s my ID.
Sir, what’s this? -My ID.
-Your what? -Identification.
-My ID. -I can’t proceed with this.
It’s not clear if it’s you. You’ll have to renew it.
That’s my ID. Give it here. Look.
See? The same wild eyes. The same round face.
And the same black unibrow. Here.
Your card doesn’t have an ID number. I can’t process your application.
I’ve been a Turkish citizen for 37 years.
And I’ve never heard anything about an ID number.
I swear, you’re the first person to bring it up.
Sir, you need to renew your card. Otherwise we can’t give you any loans.
-Give me a mortgage. -I’m sorry.
-Give me a consumer loan. -Please.
-Job training loan? -No.
-A farm cooperative loan? -Sir, what?
I’ll go into cotton with whatever’s left over.
Sir, please. I can’t help you.
You're strict. Outside work, another story.
There’s credit for everyone.
I give up.
-I’ve got another proposal. -What?
Come closer.
Come real close.
Come here.
There is no recorder, good.
-I need 300 thousand. -Yes?
Arrange it for 350 thousand,
and I’ll withdraw it
and meet you in the parking lot where I’ll skim off 50 thousand
and stick it in the lining of your skirt.
-What are you talking about? -That’s what I’ll do.
It’ll be a win for us both.
What are you saying? I’ve had it with you.
Why would I meet you in the parking lot?
I’ll save you from corporate slavery.
-Leave the room! -What’s wrong?
You’ve tried to bribe me.
-Not bribery, a donation. -What?
I’ll do it as a donation. I’ll even give you a receipt.
You scratch my back. Get it?
Get out of here. Now. Enough!
-You won’t even nibble, will you? -That’s right.
I showed you 100 different ways.
You won’t even let me get to the first base.
Go or I’ll call security.
How am I supposed to get the money?
That's none of my business.
Should I steal? Should I kill?
-Should I sell my body? -I don’t care. Do what you want.
-Oh boy. -Why are you getting on my nerves?
Why won’t you help me?
Why won’t you help me? Is it so hard?
I’m asking you, ma’am. Is it so hard?
As if I wanted it for myself.
You’d think it was for me.
If I want it for myself
my wild animals gnaw me to death.
May they gnaw at my heart.
May they spoon out my eyes.
May they tear out my liver and eat me alive
if I want it for myself. Shame on you!
-I wanted it for the kids. -Get out!
So you lure me into your office by promising me a loan.
And then comes the sexual harassment.
You tug down your stockings with your foot.
And move on to the crotch area. Tugging at it.
-Pervert! -You disgraceful aphrodisiac.
Disgraceful aphrodisiac! With your nipples hard!
Shame on you.
Primates enjoy warm water.
They’re making the most of their friendship up in the trees.
Look at that. How he loves the taste of his snot.
And enjoys eating it.
Are you ready to live and compete
on a tropical island?
If you think you’re fit and strong
this desert island awaits you.
Out of the competition only one winner will emerge.
And that person will go home with 500 thousand liras.
Desert Island is beginning.
It says the grand prize is 500 thousand.
I’m not going to a deserted island. That much I won’t do.
-Why won’t you go to the island? -No, I’m not up to it.
I don’t want to. Don’t push me. I can’t live under those conditions.
Under what conditions? You live the same way here.
Here you crap in kitty litter, there in sand.
You live in a hut here, you live in a hut there.
I’m afraid of flying. I can’t go.
You take a pill and sleep the whole way there.
I can’t sleep when someone is sitting next to me.
One could grope me while I’m asleep.
-You promised everyone. -I didn’t promise.
I said I’d buy the lot, and somehow we will.
But how? What could be a better chance than this?
How else will you get 500 thousand?
No, I can’t.
Think of the kids. You promised them.
They’ll lose their soccer field.
You mentioned the kids. That’s my weak spot.
You got right to my weak spot.
You hit me where it hurts most.
Okay, I’ll go.
I’ll go. Let’s apply.
-Excuse me? -Yes?
Where do I apply for The Island?
Applications are online, sir. And today was the last day.
It’s over. You’re too late.
What do you mean, too late?
I want to apply, too. Give me a form.
It’s over. Sorry.
You’ve got one.
Stop it! Are you crazy?
What do you mean, over?
It’s not over until I say it is.
It’s not over until I say so.
-Hello, The Island? -Yes. The Island.
I’m here for The Island, too.
You don’t look for The Island.
-What does that mean? -You’ve got a potbelly.
A bald head. A bushy beard.
Your arteries are clogged with butter. Your heart’s barely beating.
Your liver’s already dead.
The sun knocks you out. You won’t get out alive. Go home.
I’m healthy. Nothing’s wrong with me.
-Give it to me. -What are you doing?
Give me the form.
-Go home. -The competition?
Go home!
Look, there are auditions for The X Factor right over there.
A dog won last year. An orangutan has a chance this year.
Go get in the line.
Let’s keep moving.
Hello.
Do I stand here?
Berke Göksu.
That is Recep İvedik. It’s wrong.
Your name is wrong? Didn’t you fill it out yourself?
No, I didn’t. I had a sore hand so I gave it to a friend.
He wrote his name by mistake. The guy’s a moron.
That’s not you in the photo. You haven’t got any hair.
It’s a photo of me.
I was like that six months ago.
I had hair transplant. I had hair plug therapy.
-Plugs all over my head. -You added eyebrows, too,
There’s another reason. Erectile dysfunction pills.
Hairiness is a side effect.
Hairiness and madness.
Here in the brows and at the fork.
-The fork? -The ass crack.
Where the cheeks meet looks like a fork.
Okay, I got it. No more details.
Tell us about yourself. What kind of a person is Recep?
I’m aggressive. I have complexes.
When I open up I’m like a pussy cat.
I give to those I love.
But I take from those I hate.
I’ll exploit those I hate.
That’s the way I am, my nature.
Think you can handle the conditions on the island?
I don’t think they’ll cause me trouble. There’s nothing special about them.
On the island, we’ll eat what we find.
Right? Meals aren’t served.
It’s the same in Istanbul.
I don’t think it’ll be different.
As far as the toilet, I guess on the island
you crap in a ditch. That’s what they say.
If that’s the case, I’ve got a ditch in my house in Istanbul.
I crap into it the same way.
That’s the system. My toilet’s been broken for years.
I filled a wash basin with menthol kitty litter.
I crap in it. I’ve been pooping in kitty litter for 2 years.
Do you really think you can win The Island?
If I don’t win, I’m a liar.
-What will you do with the prize money? -What’s it to you, sister?
Thank you. You can expect a call.
-When will you call? -Within a few days.
But which day? Today, tomorrow, the next day?
Am I expected to wait by the phone?
Within a few days. We need to evaluate the forms.
There are other candidates. We’ll call.
Off you go.
Thank you.
-Off you go. -Thanks.
I won't shake hands with you.
That’s right, dear neighbors. Your brother is going off
to a faraway place, to strange islands
to represent you. What are you going to do?
What is it your duty to do? To support me.
Remember to send your brother lots of text messages
especially on elimination nights.
When I come back after a month,
I’ll check your phone records to see who sent messages.
If I find out you haven’t texted, I’ll haunt you like the black angel of death.
I’d never threaten. I just offer advice.
I ask you as your brother.
But if you don’t, you’ll regret you were ever born.
Text. All right, guys?
With your support,
I’ll come back from that island a winner.
Hooray!
Off you go, Recep. Have a safe trip.
-Go win that competition. -Thanks, brother.
You are in charge when I’m gone.
Here, Recep. Enjoy it.
What have you done?
I wish you gave me this earlier. I’d roast it.
Recep, my mom made this for you.
I’ll text.
Thanks, Rıfat the moron.
-Thanks. -Take this to remember us.
And you’ll coach the team, Hayrettin.
Okay? Keep drilling.
Teach the boys offside tactics.
-Okay. -All right. May God protect you all.
Goodbye, Recep. Have a safe trip.
What are you doing, Mualla? Just look at this car.
I thought it was clean. I didn’t realize.
What do you mean? You splashed dirty water on the car.
Halit pees and craps in that bucket. And you splash it on the car.
How do I wash the car at the last minute?
The car’s covered in filth.
How could you?
May God watch over you.
Welcome to The Island.
Thank you.
As you know, there are two teams on two different islands
wearing two different colors.
You’ll remember that last season
we determined who would be in which team
before anyone came to the island.
But this season the teams
will be decided by drawing lots, held in just a moment.
We’ve had a great selection process.
Let me congratulate you all. You’ll make your own luck.
-The lottery is a good idea. -Thanks.
Who would like to be team leader?
-I would. -I would, İrfan. I’m right here.
The first team leader is Taylan.
-And for the second team... -Hey, I’m right over here.
Recep, since you insist.
Everyone give them a hand.
Welcome.
I’ll hand you a bandana
that signifies your team. Now if you’re all ready
-We’re ready. -All right.
Taylan, you’ll draw first.
Simge.
Simge, Blue team with Taylan.
Nice draw. A perfect first draw.
He got a real cutie. I hope I do the same.
By the grace of God.
-Aslıhan. -That’s me.
Recep’s adding Aslıhan to his team.
This isn’t very nice. This isn’t good at all.
-Why? You drew Aslıhan. -She’ll eat a lot.
-Take a look at yourself. -She’ll be eating nonstop.
We’ll go over budget. Conditions are bad enough on the island.
We’ll have to feed her. That’s impossible.
I’ll toss this back and draw again.
You can’t do that. Taylan is next. Yes, Taylan.
-Burak. -Burak joins Taylan's team.
He grabbed the good-looking guy. See that?
The kid’s like a lion. He’s two for two.
He’s two for two. He’s doing great.
You’re drawing next, Recep.
Pray for me.
-Halil İbo. -Halil İbrahim joins Recep's team.
This won’t do at all.
First I draw a cow, then I draw a midget.
Anyway. Taylan, you’re up. Go on.
-Cenk. -Cenk joins Taylan's team.
He nabbed a guy again. There’s nobody left.
No guys are left. How could I be so unlucky?
What kind of luck is this? Two for two.
How could things go so wrong? God help me in my third draw.
God help me.
Let me mix it up good. If I can just get that girl.
-It’s luck of the draw. -I drew you.
-Necati. - Necati joins Recep's team.
Look at the way he walks and runs.
Knock-kneed, like he shit in his pants.
So far I’ve drawn a midget, a fatty and a geriatric.
How am I supposed to compete with this? He’ll kick the bucket.
It’s shameful to talk like that in front of Necati.
The sun will be beating down on him, over 100 degrees.
He’ll turn beet red and keel over.
We’ll have to find a burial spot.
Are we here to compete or to stage a funeral?
Continue please, Taylan.
-Melis. -Melis is on Taylan's team.
-He got another bombastic girl. -It’s your turn to draw.
The name in the ball all comes down to luck.
It might be luck, but I keep missing, İrfan.
It’s an İrfantino or an İrfan.
You’re making me miss, İrfan.
How could I be?
I think the balls vibrate. That’s What I think, İrfantino.
Your names are even alike, İrfan, İrfantino.
There’s cheating going on with these balls.
So, pick another ball.
Will he get the teammate he wants?
I’m taking one straight out this time. No stirring.
I’ve got my eye on that girl.
-Gaye. -That’s me.
Gaye is on Recep's team. He gets another female teammate.
-That’s not female. -What?
That’s not a girl, it’s a boy.
Are you sick or what? Can’t you see I’m a girl?
Look, buddy, I got no problem with you.
Don’t horn in everything.
It’s a guy. A guy named Gaye, but a guy.
-Have you checked? -What do you mean?
-Have you had a look? -A look at what?
-She’s got bollocks. -What?
-Bollocks. -What’s that?
I can’t tell you right now. We’re on the air.
Let’s continue. Taylan, there are hardly any balls left.
We’re down to the last four.
Let’s see who Taylan adds to his team.
-Deniz. -Deniz is on Taylan's team.
İrfan, just give us her. You can have this one.
All I ask is for her. And take this away.
-Make her join us. -You’re one down right now.
Pick another ball, Recep.
I’m going to get that girl. I’ve got my eye on her.
If I get her, we’ll have four guys and two girls on the team.
Damn you, Serkan.
-Serkan joins Recep's team. -I won’t go along with this.
This last blow really hurt.
I won’t accept it. I’m drawing again.
I can’t compete like this. It’s not possible.
Look at that team, and look at this one.
If they’re human, what are they?
It’s a team straight out of Noah’s ark.
This is like the Darıca Zoo.
They’re God’s blessings, and they’re God’s wrath.
This won’t do. You made up this lottery thing.
Damn whoever came up with the idea of lottery.
Okay, we’re down to the last two balls and the last two players.
Taylan, you’ll be choosing your final teammate.
Let’s see.
I’ll pick the other one.
-Eda! -Eda is on Taylan's team.
I just knew it!
I saw it, I knew what he was up to.
He threw the ball back. He should get the other one.
I picked all those balls just to get that girl.
Shake it and pull out a ball. I kept drawing to get her.
But he took a ball and looked at it.
When he saw that idiot in the ball, he threw it back to get the girl.
I didn’t open the ball. Didn’t you see?
How can you put it back without opening it? You’ve got to open it.
-Didn’t you pick this one first? -For goodness sake.
Take him. You picked him.
-I put it back without opening it. -Let’s drop it.
Now it is not the time.
So it’s either by hook or by crook, right?
-Right, the last ball. -Open it. I don’t want to see it.
Okay, there’s only one contestant left.
We don’t want him. Send him back to Turkey.
-Go home. -Recep, we’ve got to have the same
-number of players on each team. -Damn it all.
Just send us to our island. Leave us with our fate.
We’re sending Taylan’s team
to the blue island and Recep’s team to the red island.
Get going.
Gather around. Form a line.
I’ve got a welcome speech for you. Gather around.
Right. First, welcome to this lovely island.
Now let’s get one thing clear.
I’m the king of the island. We need to agree on that.
Now, that doesn’t mean I decide on everything
and get what I want. Never.
I believe in freedom of thought.
I support democracy. Everyone is free to think what they want.
We have freedom of thought and democracy.
You can say what you want. I’ll listen to it all,
pass it through my filter, and make the final decision.
You do what I say. Simple. There’s only one administrator.
I can’t run this place if you all do what you want.
There’s one ruler. It’s that simple. Does anyone have any objections?
-What a bunch of nonsense. -Hey! Brave heart.
Quiet. Don’t be so jumpy. Anyone else?
No, everything’s fine. We’ll move on to number two. Come here.
This pocket-size Hercules will be my assistant on the island.
If you abuse, mistreat or betray him in any way,
you’ll have done the same to me.
And I’ll come after you. Understood?
Understood.
Next. The geriatric, the fat, you and the brave heart
fan out across the island. Find us fruit and coconut.
You can taste it and bring it back here if it’s edible.
Ok, we got it.
You two, go deep into the jungle.
Gather bamboo, wood and grass and bring it here.
-Construction materials. See? -Ok.
You and I will do the building.
What is the first thing to be done on a deserted island
since the first Turkish tribe?
What’s wrong with you guys?
I’m here with an army of morons.
Shame on you. Shelter.
We’re going to build a shelter.
Okay, scatter. Motion, synergy. Come on, energy.
Come here.
-Yes. -You think I’m carrying my own bag?
Why do I have an assistant then?
Lift it.
To the left.
That’s it.
Okay, let’s see. Secure it. That’s it.
Brother, it’s amazing.
I used Mimar Sinan's dome technique.
The hot air goes up and it stays cool below.
-Wow, it’s real showy. -Thanks, dude.
-Yes, it’s a beauty. Good job. -Yes.
-It’s amazing, brother. -Thanks.
That’s all we’ve got, guys.
We’ve got as much as we don’t have.
You, pair of idiots, night’s coming. Get a fire ready.
I’ll come and check, Okay?
You, go count the coconuts.
Tell me how many there are. Understood?
Record them in the inventory. You’re in charge of the treasury. Run.
You, drop everything you’re holding.
I’ll explain the sleeping arrangements. Come closer.
Right. We need a certain sleeping arrangement.
Why? To protect against outside threats.
While we’re asleep and defenseless,
the fleas nipping at our butts, the outside enemy is wide awake.
There might be a treacherous attack on us.
That’s why the sleeping arrangement
is so important. I made a big doorway on purpose.
Why? Because that’s where Aslıhan is going to sleep.
-Why me? -You’re nice and wide.
-Just take a look at yourself. -Okay, mine’s wide, too,
but I’m the brain team.
You will sleep in the doorway.
If a psycho starts hanging out here, you’ll be first.
First, your belly will make him stop. You see?
Wolf, jackal, cheetah. If an animal sees you, it’ll pause first.
It says there’s something bigger and wilder than me.
-More of an animal. -What?
But you are. The animal will be scared.
If I were a wolf I’d be scared.
Let’s say it doesn’t run away.
It would start eating your boobs first.
It would rip out your intestines.
So who’s the second person we sacrifice?
-Who? -Necati.
Why me? You’re always playing with me.
Of course I am. Who is better than you?
Your foot’s in the grave as it is. You’ll sleep here.
You’ll be second in the line of defense.
That’s what war is.
You send the easy pickings up to the front lines.
You, dude.
You’ll watch out for any danger creeping up from behind.
-Really? -Yes, really.
You’ll sleep there, in the back.
I’m thinking of having the two idiots sleep crosswise.
Understand? Me and Halil İbo will sleep right in the middle.
Cause we’re the brain team.
What did Mustafa Kemal Atatürk do? He declared Ankara the capital.
Why? Cause it’s right in the middle. We’re sleeping in the middle.
Brother, I counted. There are 45 coconuts.
What do you mean, 45? I counted 53 coconuts.
Go count again, you moron. I always double check. Why?
A good commander always does. Never trust even your most trusted assistant.
Right.
Keep your eyes open. Be sharp and agile.
Okay, get to it. Take off your shoes.
Take off your shoes!
-Okay, we took them off. -Of course you did.
Let me put this here.
-What’s wrong with him? -Who does he think he is?
Do this, do that. This way, not that way.
-Sleep, rise, eat this, not that. -What a maniac.
He’s a bandit. Let’s send him off the island.
I didn’t catch that! Are you talking behind my back?
I can hear everything. I’ve got ears everywhere.
What kind of dance is that?
Idiots. Didn’t I tell you to make a fire? You are dancing here!
-We’re making the fire of Anatolia. -We tried but we couldn’t light it.
What do you mean? It’s getting dark. You can’t even light a fire.
Idiot. Move away.
I’ll have to do this, too?
I built the house, I found the food. I’ll light the fire, too.
Stick the thing right in.
Rub it like this.
When there’s a spark I’ll show you the quick way to get it going.
When you see a spark, let me know. Okay?
-All right. -A spark. Get to it.
-Tell me when there’s a spark. -Okay.
There’s a spark.
It flared up good. Make it burn good.
Don’t expect me to come over here and fart all the time. I’m a human, too.
-You really got it going. -Sure I did.
Learn how and you can do it yourselves.
Make the flames burn higher. Don’t just stare at it.
This is getting to me.
I don’t like my spot.
I hate where I’m sleeping.
Are you awake?
Move over, you idiot.
You’re right next to me and it’s hot in here.
What’s this all about? What are you doing?
Look, he’s squeezing my tit.
I’m going to break his hand.
Sleep the right way.
Oh my God!
You’re so shameless. I’m here sleeping and you’re pressing up against me.
You’re so rude! Act your age. Pervert!
-Why would I press against you? -You are.
And you’re humping me, too.
-What’s going on? -He’s humping me.
-He’s pressing up on me. -We’re trying to sleep here.
They’re pressing up against us, I tell you
and you say you’re sleeping. Get up Halil İbo, we’re going.
I can’t sleep with these perverts. Get up, we’re going.
Damn you. Pervert!
Can you believe it?
You think someone my age is going to put up with that, Halil İbo?
I came here pure.
How could this happen? Stretch out here.
-Have a peaceful sleep. -Thanks, brother. You, too.
Now, I’ve turned my back on you.
I don’t want any funny business, Halil İbo.
You can trust me, brother.
Recep.
Recep?
-Don’t move. -What is it?
There are crabs. Don’t move.
Crabs? Where?
-On your face. -Where?
-Crabs! -Brother.
-Let me get it. -A crab!
Welcome, guys.
We’ve gathered here for our challenge.
This is your first challenge on The Island.
We’ve prepared a package for the winning team.
It contains a large supply
of all kinds of food. From tea to sugar.
From rice to pasta.
And that’s not all.
We’ve also included an assortment of tools to make your tasks and
life on the island easier.
First I want to turn to the team leaders
before we start. What will they say
about the island and the game?
Taylan, let’s start with you.
İrfan, we’ve slept well and feel rested.
We’re full of energy now. We’ve formed friendships.
Let me send my condolences to the Red Team.
They haven’t got a chance. We’ll wipe them out.
Who are saying, you’ll wipe out? I’ll break your nose.
-But İrfan... -Just a moment.
Just a moment. We don’t allow that here.
Please, I’m asking you. Please, stop.
The team leaders look ready to me.
A round of applause as Taylan and Recep step up to the hammers.
-Ready, Recep? -İrfan, I have a question.
-Yes, Recep? -Can I throw two hammers at once?
Like the Turkish warriors of old times.
There’s no reason you can’t if you want to.
Thanks. I’ll try it that way.
Here we go.
Yes! That’s how it’s done. That’s it.
What happened? Your mouth’s hanging open.
All that boasting of yours. Now what happened?
Throw it. Now it’s your turn. Let’s watch as you do it.
İrfan, he’s distracting me.
Please, don’t distract each other.
I cleared my sinuses, that’s all.
Is that a bird?
What happened? Did you miss?
Look closely.
I don’t even have to look. I can aim while I talk to you.
Yes! That’s the way!
That’ll show you.
High five.
Red Team one, Blue Team zero.
Now for the second contestants.
Halil İbrahim and Deniz.
Come on. Show them how it’s done.
What kind of throw was that?
Deniz hit it!
I swear, I’m catching a cold.
Come on, throw it.
-That’s it! -Red Team!
-Gaye missed. -What was that?
What kind of an hit was that?
-Eda hits it again. -She throws like an Amazon.
Hit it right. It’s right in front of you.
Eda hit it. Red Team two, Blue Team one.
Nice bikini. The top’s nice, too.
We’re at a critical point. The teams are tied. It's a draw so far.
The winner of this challenge takes the prize to home.
A round of applause as Aslıhan and Simge take their places.
Excuse me, İrfan. I’d like to say something.
-Go ahead. -Our teammate Aslıhan
hurt her shoulder. I’ll compete in her place.
-Aslıhan, are you injured? -Not at all. I’m just fine.
-I can compete. -Hey, you're injured.
-No, I’m not. -Yes, you are!
You’re saying you’re not injured? That your shoulder is fine?
She’s badly injured. Her shoulder joints are worn out.
What are you doing? I’m not injured.
She was born crippled. Look at this!
She’s crippled from birth. She’s an Angus cow.
Her mother didn’t bear her. Her mother imported her.
She’s a tick away from morbid obesity.
Angus, obese, morbidly obese.
She’s right on the edge. She’s not healthy enough to play.
You’re thin as a rake!
Recep, we’re talking about a lady.
Choose your words more carefully.
You have a bad shoulder, right?
-Your shoulder’s injured, right? -What are you doing?
-Aren’t you injured? -No, I’m not. I’m going to play.
Then go ahead and play.
Let’s hear it for Aslıhan and Simge as they take their places.
-Aslıhan hits it. -Good for you.
Who’d have thought it? Good job.
-Simge misses. -Off you go, babe.
Come on, Aslıhan. Let’s see your throw.
Aslıhan throws and it's two for two.
Good for you. I’m a slave to that belly of yours.
I’m a slave to your sweaty boobies.
-Let me kiss those boobies. -I’ve had it.
Really, good job.
Simge misses again.
Hit it and you’ll get a special prize from me tonight.
-Shut up. -If we win, I’ll give you a prize.
-Shut up. -All right.
-Aslıhan misses. -Damn it. Idiot.
-Why can’t you throw right? -Shut up.
Your arm is so fat, you can’t lift it.
Stop talking. I can’t focus.
Screw you and your focus.
Hippo!
-Simge hit it! -Now that’s a woman.
Wearing bandana, Calamity Jane.
Angus, it’s close. Throw it and end this.
-Shut up. - Ok, I’ll talk real nice, cutie.
I’ll be nice to you, honey lips.
Shut your mouth.
-Aslıhan missed. -God damn it.
Throw it. The tile’s there. Why can’t you break it?
-You brown cow. -Just shut up.
I talked nicely, nothing.
Should I roar like a beast?
-Simge hit it! -No way, man.
-Tie score. -This can’t be happening.
-Whoever hits it wins. -You’re a lady like a destroyer.
-Come on, you’re like a tank. -Shut up!
Come on. Nobody can stop you. Hit it.
-Aslıhan missed! -Damn you. How could you?
One after another. Why can’t you hit it, you fool?
It’s in front of you. What happened?
Is your hair tie too tight? Any problems with your brain?
If Simge hits it, the Blue Team wins.
Simge throws it!
Damn it! This is terrible.
-This is just awful. -The Blue Team takes the prize.
Get away from me. I’m upset.
-We’ll be hungry because of you. -Blue Team!
Get out of here! This is terrible.
It’s just the worst.
How many days are we on coconuts?
We’re turning into coconuts.
And they’re not filling.
Do I go look in the jungle? I might find something else.
We looked everywhere. There’s nothing.
How do you know? Have you studied geography?
Why are you mad?
Hunger’s getting on my nerves. Don’t make me even worse.
-Sorry. -Shut up.
-Pardon me. -Shut up.
Let’s go to the jungle.
We have to find something else than coconuts.
I’m fed up with coconuts all the time.
I’m famished. I’m going to pass out on the spot.
We shouldn’t eat things we don’t know about.
What could we not know?
It’s your typical jungle.
Mother nature shares her bounty here in the jungle.
Let’s have a look round.
-What’s this? -It looks like a cucumber but...
It’s a typical tropical cucumber.
A tropical cucumber.
What would cucumbers be doing on a tropical island?
Cucumbers grow everywhere. They need watery soil.
Here, eat it. A farmer's cucumber.
-I won't eat it. -Take it. It’s from your brother.
-I’m not eating anything I don’t know. -Son, it’s from your big brother.
It could be poisonous. Don't eat it.
I wish you hadn’t.
It is juicy. It is great. Have one.
-No thanks, not for me. -Have a bite.
I don’t like the way it smells.
I’m telling you to eat it!
-Go on. -I don’t want to refuse you
-but I really can’t. -Well, don’t, then.
Get the machete.
You didn’t have any.
I don’t feel like it.
Are you alright?
The earth moved.
I told you not eat those cucumbers. You got poisoning.
It’s really bright, isn’t it?
It’s dazzling.
-Come and sit down. -Come on.
I feel terrible. Get me some water.
I’ll be right back.
When did the sky turn pink?
And the sea is purple.
The trees are moving in on me.
The trees are moving in.
I could skip to the other side.
Is that a gorilla?
Is that a chicken?
And it’s steaming.
I’ve going to take a bite of thigh.
Help!
Let me go!
Leave me alone!
My foot! He’s eating my foot!
Welcome.
-Hello. -Thank you.
We’re here for an elimination challenge.
Someone from today’s losing team will say goodbye
to the dream of winning 500 thousand
and will leave the island.
This is a critical challenge.
I’d like the first contestants to take a step forward.
Are you ready?
Come on, boy!
Come on, guys.
Run!
The Red Team is ahead and got the first ball.
Recep and Halil İbrahim are up. The competition is fierce.
-Halil İbrahim has fallen. -Why’d you fall overboard?
-Damn you. -I didn’t mean to.
You’re splashing around. Swim over here.
-I don’t know how. -God damn you.
The Blue Team is coming. They’re almost finished.
I can’t believe it. The only person I had faith in.
-They finished. -The Blue Team wins.
-We watched them. -Brother.
What’s that? It’s a shark! Help me.
-What’s that? -Please, help me.
-A shark! -Help me!
Be careful! Please!
Help!
-Get away. -Help me.
What are you doing? Be careful.
-Get away. -I’m swimming away.
Be careful.
Come this way.
Come here, right to me.
-Good evening. -Good evening.
This is the first elimination round on The Island.
We’ll be sending home a contestant from the Red Team.
We were all terrified by the canoe competition
that took place earlier today.
Let’s have an applause for Recep, escaped unhurt
and is sitting among us.
Thank you. Don’t clap.
And now comes the excitement of the elimination round.
The two contestants with the most text messages will be granted immunity.
It is our viewers who will decide which contestants are immune.
Our contestants will take turns writing the name of the person
they vote off the island. Recep is first.
NECATİ(PERVERT)
Yes, Necati.
I respect your age and considered you to be an older brother on the team.
We had good times and bad times. We shared a lot.
Until that black day.
When in the middle of the night, while I was completely helpless,
you latched onto me from behind, and humped me,
proving what a pervert you are.
May God damn you. Get lost and leave the island.
I don’t want to see you here anymore, you sick man.
Get off the island. You were useless anyway.
You’re old and you’re disgusting. Now get lost.
Halil İbrahim.
Let’s see which two contestants get the most text messages.
Who are they?
Recep.
One more Recep.
Damn it. How shameful.
Necati.
Someone jokingly wrote pervert.
It’s not a joke, it’s a note.
One more Necati. They both have two votes.
Recep.
Damn. Did you write it?
Why all the long faces?
A great big Recep.
Shame on you.
-One more Recep. -Shame on you all.
It’s a sin. Stabbing me in the back.
Come tell me if you have a problem.
You’ll see, I’ll still be here and in your face.
We know the contestant voted on in the text messages.
The voting by text message is now open.
After a short break we’ll be back
and learn
who was eliminated.
Did I make it?
-İrfan. Did I make it? -Yes?
-Who won? -Won what?
The text voting.
The voting’s just begun, Recep.
I know that, but who won?
I won’t know until the results are notary authorized.
What’s all this about, a notary?
Come one. You can’t do that to me.
-Do that? -Who’s the notary?
-No. -Who is it?
-Our notary. -You say that for years.
You’ll say there’s a notary when I’m up there.
Tell me who won. You know the results.
-The commercials are over. -Who won?
-I don’t know. Sit. -Come on.
I swear I don’t know. We’re about to go live.
-I’m so excited. -Me, too.
İrfan, do you know?
We’re now back after a short commercial break.
And the moment has arrived.
Thank you. A big thanks to you all.
It’s time to announce who will be the first person
to leave the island this year.
-İrfan, can I say something? -Of course.
I’ve got something to say.
I have a name for those who smile to my face and plot behind my back.
It’s slimy and dishonest. It’s dishonorable.
Recep, let me remind you that we’re on the air.
I’m choosing my words carefully because we’re live.
It’s slimy and dishonest.
It’s being a dirty dog.
-That’s going too far. -The message was received.
Received by registered post.
Registered and prepaid. By all of you.
Right then.
If Necati has nothing to say...
-Can I add something? -Go on.
I know our esteemed public
always sides with the underdog. I’ve been wronged.
The public stands with the wronged. Long live our people.
Okay. That’s quite a slogan.
-Now let's open the envelope. -Hurry up and open it.
What does it say?
Who is it? Tell us.
This evening, leaving The Island and the dream of winning
-the 500 thousand liras is... -Who is it?
whose name I'll announce now.
-The person leaving The Island... -Who is it?
...is unfortunately...
-Necati. -That’s it. Yes!
Right on. The public made the right choice.
The public did it right.
The people have spoken the truth once again.
Get going. Get lost. Take your torch and go.
-We can relax. -Congratulations to Recep.
Thanks. God bless you.
Our condolences to Necati.
Not from me. He can piss off. He can go straight to hell.
Necati, say farewell to your friends.
Come here.
Necati is leaving the island with his torch.
I stole his glasses.
Our first elimination night has ended.
I wish you success until the next one.
And I send the Red and Blue Teams back to their islands.
Look at them. Fresh fish.
I’m king of the ocean and of the seas.
And king of the land. King of all realms.
Good for you, brother. You caught some big fish.
They weigh like ten kilos.
-So you caught fish? -Yes, I did.
You really went for it.
At the sight of two fish you start sucking up to me.
But you wrote my name last night? No fish for you!
As if we need your fish. I hope they’re poisonous.
Don’t curse me.
Just look at them. They’ve got to be poisonous.
No, the more colorful the fish, the more delicious.
What’s with all the envy?
With all the calculations?
Fine, do what you want. Enjoy it.
-It’ll be delicious. Now get lost. -Fine then. We’re going.
It’s normal for Aslıhan to say it
but if Gaye says they’re poisonous, they really might be.
If you don’t trust me, you can piss off, too.
-How can you say that? -Like this, go piss off.
You misunderstood me.
I make you fish and look at what you say.
I know fish, brother. I’m a well-rounded guy.
My name’s Recep İvedik, got it?
First you prod the fish like this. Ok?
You check its face, its eyes. Are the eyes full of life?
Are the eyes cloudy?
You see? My finger goes right in, that’s how fresh it is.
You slap it in the face. Look.
Then you put it on the table.
You study the fish. You massage its belly. You see? Then we slit its belly.
You slit it like this. You open up its belly.
Your hand goes right inside. Look, like this.
I swim in the sea, I’m a free fish.
It says, as it gets speared in the head. You follow me?
Like this. Done.
Let’s clean it now. Look.
Look at those scales.
-Look how the scales fell off. -Right.
You could toss a handful at your sweetheart, like rose petals. Right?
-Would it do any good? -Of course it would. Why not?
She’d fall madly in love. Women love beastly men.
Never forget that. We’ve gone from fish to this.
The hairier a man’s body the more irresistible he is to women.
Got it? Women get all dolled up.
Puff up like a turkey.
Men put on their own show.
Look at my body.
Look at it. Do you understand? You know those matadors in Spain?
Go there and you’ll see all the ladies chasing after the matadors.
They’re all trying to sleep with a matador. I saw it. That’s how it works.
-Brother? -What?
Your hand.
My God! What happened to my hand?
It suddenly turned into a paw. It’s an animal’s hand.
My hand’s in bad shape.
What are we going to do?
Back home, we have to put some ammonia on it.
Where can we find ammonia on this island?
-They say pee contains it. -Pee?
-Urine. -Pee on my hand.
Pee on it, Halil İbo.
Pee!
Where are you pissing? Pee on my hand.
Man you’ve got a lot of pee.
You pissed on my hand ten times and we washed it with seawater.
-It’s still not normal. -But the swelling’s gone down?
It has, but it sure smells bad.
Hold this. Give me that.
This is why I took his glasses.
I’m going to reverse the lens.
I rigged up a telescope to spy on the other island.
I saw his glasses dangling from his pocket
and gave him a hug to lighten his load.
Let me see.
They’re having fun over there.
Wow.
There are the three horsemen.
They’re cavorting like dolphins.
Like colts, like mares.
It’s bombastic and fantastic.
What kind of compassion is that? A fruit basket full of all things.
-Can I see? -Just a second, brother.
Ah, the mysteries of this world. What wonders thou hath wrought?
Oh my, she’s doing cartwheels.
Well, she’s doing cartwheels.
-Can I have a look? -Hang on a second.
I’m looking at something.
The sweet life.
The picture of contentment. A corner of paradise.
Want to look?
-Can I? -Go on.
I tested you and you failed.
-Who are you to look when I’m here? -I’m sorry.
Why the long face?
-I miss Tuğçe. -Who’s Tuğçe?
-My fiancée. -You’ve got a fiancée?
Look at you. When’s the wedding?
When I win the competition hopefully.
-So you won’t have a wedding. -Why not?
-Because I’m going to win. -So be it.
May the lovers be united.
Okay, if I win, I'll throw you a modest,
not at all expensive wedding.
-Really? -I promise I will.
Thanks, what can I say?
I’ll do it. I consider it a duty. I’m like a big brother to you.
I have known love, too. I have experienced fickle love.
Whom did you love?
-A woman named Sibel. -What happened?
-I couldn’t tell her. -Why?
I was all ready to tell her, after handing her the marbles.
When she said she was engaged I bottled it up inside.
-You’ve been through a lot. -Of course I have.
I’m an animal on the outside but a baby on the inside.
-That’s you, alright. -A real baby.
-Shall I sing a folk song? -Go on.
Don’t lean against the pear tree
Don’t trust those sweet words
Enough! We’re sleeping over here!
Okay then! Go back to sleep!
You’ll be sleeping all winter, for three months.
So what if you miss one night? Bear. Angus.
She doesn't know the language of love. She knows nothing of the heart strings.
They’ve spoiled the night. Their hearts are coated with butter.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
Today we will say goodbye to a contestant from the losing team
after we play another elimination challenge.
This is the foam challenge.
It looks funny but it's difficult.
First, everyone competes alone
and then with a partner.
Do you have any questions?
Good. The first contestants can go to the starting line.
The Blue Team wins.
A girl passed you? How can a dude live that down?
We’re at a critical juncture. The Blue Team is ahead two to one.
If the Blue Team wins this round, they win the challenge.
See what happened to us?
If we lose again, they win.
But if the Red Team wins, it will be a tie
and partners will compete.
The team leaders can go to the starting line.
-Come on, Recep. -Taylan, you’ll win.
The team leaders are ready. The competition is fierce.
Come on, Recep.
Good job. Way to go, Recep.
Come on.
Tie!
-That’s it! -Good job.
I’m here to bury fake Hercules.
I’m here to bury fake Conan the Barbarian.
My name is Recep İvedik. And that’s it.
Yay!
Congratulations to the Red Team. Taylan and Eda from the Blue Team
and Recep and Gaye from the Red Team will now compete.
Take your places.
-İrfan? -Yes?
I hurt my leg in the last contest.
I don’t want to strain it worse.
I’d like to withdraw if possible.
What’s that? No, that’s impossible.
-You’ll finish it. Right, İrfan? -What happened to your leg?
-It hurts. -There’s nothing wrong with it.
-Please. -That leg is just fine.
It’s perfectly healthy.
Recep, you’ll have to compete with a female
so we’ll pair you with Aslıhan since Gaye is injured.
No way. That’s impossible. No, İrfan.
Don’t say that. It’s out of the question.
-I can’t compete with her as my partner. -That would be great, İrfan.
It’ll be nice and fun.
It’s impossible, İrfan. Don’t we have to slide?
-Won’t we be tied together? -Yes.
What will we be tied with?
We’d need a towing cable.
There’s no rope strong enough.
I can’t do it. Not with her.
İrfan, I’ll compete if I have to.
She’s so eager to slide in cream.
Why doesn’t the production give her a few boxes of cream
and let her lather up and slide all she wants?
This is a contest. It’s impossible.
Will the couples please proceed to the starting line?
Just look at this. It’s all your fault.
Are you ready?
Look, we need some acceleration
and you’ll go like a truck whose brakes have failed.
-Momentum? -You don’t even know the word?
Velocity. Speed. Rate of change.
Don’t jump the median into our lane.
What if I jumped straight onto you without the median?
I warned you earlier. No fighting.
Let’s concentrate on the game. Are you ready?
Pull me!
Pull me? You should have jumped there.
We were anchored. What did I tell you?
This will never work.
Speed, I said. Acceleration. Just look at us.
-I told you to pull me! -That’s not an ass, it’s cushion.
Stop talking and pull me.
It’s always a struggle with you.
Damn you.
The Blue Team wins.
We couldn’t even make it to the end.
İrfan, will you untie me?
Will you untie me?
I’m going to cry. Will you untie me?
-Good evening. -Good evening.
We’re sharing the excitement of another elimination.
As you know, a member of the Red Team
will be leaving us tonight. But before we proceed
I’d like to turn to the team captain, Recep.
Recep, you had a troubled, unhappy performance today.
Would you like to tell us what happened?
İrfan, I feel terrible.
I don’t want to talk. I’m so bummed out.
As you see, the nerves of the Red Team are frayed.
So let’s keep this short.
-What? -Look straight ahead.
I’ll bust your jaw.
What are you doing?
İrfan, I feel bad as it is and he’s making faces at me.
Let’s not provoke each other, Taylan.
Thank you.
Then it’s time to begin the elimination process.
Recep? We’re beginning the elimination vote.
You’ll each write down a name, starting with Recep.
Look fat ass, I don’t have a personal problem with you.
I like you as a person and think you have a good heart.
But I’ve had it with you.
With your bugs and dirt, your lice and mud.
With even that peculiar way your skin smells.
With the minutes of sleep you steal from us at night.
I’ve had it up to here with your non-stop snoring and grumbling.
I wake up to your snores and I am ambushed by your farts.
You unleash them all night long.
I’m sick of living with you. I’m sick and tired.
It’s time for you to go. Leave this place.
Get lost and go. We don’t want you on this island anymore.
Scram. Get out of here.
Go to the devil for all I care.
You’re a disgrace to the team. You’re no good at the games
or at anything else. I’ve had it up to here.
Halil İbrahim.
Enough. I don’t want you on this island for another second.
We have no peace, day or night.
We lose the games because you keep talking.
I think you should leave.
I’ll keep writing your name as long as I’m on this island.
I’m tired of being called dude.
Enough.
Whom did you write?
Recep. Serkan.
Arif.
-Aslıhan. -That’s it.
Recep.
The last one.
The person written here will compete with
Recep in the text voting.
I assume this is Aslıhan. But it’s written as Asılhan.
I wrote Asılhan on purpose.
-But you meant Aslıhan. -No, I meant Serkan.
İrfan, of course I meant Aslıhan.
Okay. The two contestants are clear.
It’s Recep against Aslıhan.
Our viewers can begin voting by text message.
-İrfan. -Yes?
-Can I say something? -Of course, Recep.
I have a request to make
of my beloved public who are wise in all things.
I'll ask for a favor, İrfan.
Remove this virus, this tumor from the island.
It’s a crying shame.
She’s made life a living hell. I’m suffering here.
May the public save me.
Recep, let’s not manipulate the public just before the vote.
It’s not manipulation. It’s raw emotion. I’ll finish up now.
My people, I’m calling on you.
Save me. This girl will gnaw me away to nothing.
At night, I worry she’ll bite my ears or gnaw away at my guts.
May the public remove this tumor, this virus from the island.
Cut off the cancerous finger. Enough is enough.
Right. I’m sure the message reached its target.
If it did, there’s no problem.
As I told you a moment ago
voting by text has begun. As the viewers text we will have a short commercial break
and then find out who’s been eliminated.
If I lose this, I’ll jump right into the fire.
If that cow beats me, I’ll make a roast lamb of myself.
Watch your mouth. What kind of talk is that?
Shut up.
We’re live. Get ready.
I’m even more nervous now. I’m beside myself.
Okay, guys. We’re together again.
We continue The Island live from where we left off.
The excitement of elimination night.
Text message voting is now over.
We’re preparing the envelope containing the name of the person leaving The Island.
If the notary is done, hand me the envelope.
-Thank you. -I’ve never seen this notary.
-What’s that, Recep? -What?
-You said anything? -Yes.
-What is it? -I’ve never seen this notary.
-You’re obsessed with the notary. -Yes, I am.
Papers come and go but I’ve never seen this notary.
This is a deserted island. Where could he be?
Does he wander the jungle at night?
-The notary’s in İstanbul. -How do you get certification?
We have a live feed. He tells us.
A crew member writes down the results and puts them in an envelope.
If my aunt had a mustache, she’d be my uncle.
If grandma had a beard, she’d be grandpa.
-What are you looking at? -Turn around.
-I’ll bust your jaw. -Just try it.
I’ll get you thrown off the island.
Guys.
-Disgusting. -What are you doing?
-I hocked a loogie. -We’re on the air.
I didn’t realize, İrfan.
I thought commercials were on.
Okay, Recep. I’m opening the envelope.
Open it. Why do you explain everything you do?
You’re some kind of life-shortener.
I’m taking the papers, I’m opening the envelope.
I’m beginning to read. Just read it already.
Who was voted off?
We’re presented with an interesting situation.
The two contestants have nearly the same votes.
-No! -The person leaving the island
has lost by a hair.
If it’s a hair, I won.
Guys.
As the result of text voting
the person leaving the island
the dream of the 500 thousand liras prize...
Read it faster.
Guys, that person is...
-Aslıhan. -That’s it.
The public got it right again.
Thank you, Turkey.
With our public we will continue to advance.
We’ll make great progress.
They identified the microbe. Thank you.
-Yes? -I’d like to address the public.
-Go right ahead. -I must deplore our people.
-Why? -If that Angus and me
had almost the same votes, shame on the public.
Send a few more text messages.
How could I be at her level?
Shame on you, I deplore the public.
You can now bid farewell to your friends.
We are sending Aslıhan off The Island.
I was sick of all of it.
-What? -I was sick of it.
All right, I wish you all good luck.
I am sending the Red and Blue teams back to their islands.
The team leaders are ready. At the sound of the whistle
you’ll add the first 20 kilos.
Recep. You won. You can drop it now.
He won but he’s still holding it. And he dropped it.
Burak.
Recep won. Recep takes the prize.
Deniz.
Deniz, you can say farewell.
Arif. We have one more person gone on The Island.
Another celebration from Recep.
Serkan.
The Blue Team has four people left, the Red Team three.
Simge.
Recep wins!
Recep wins.
-Gaye. -That's it!
The Blue Team has three people, the Red has two.
That means from this moment forward
the rules stipulate that with two people left on each team
we merge the teams and you compete as individuals.
Tomorrow we’ll have a party to celebrate the merging of the teams.
I’ll have some of that chicken, too.
I’m going to have a lot of it.
And a little spaghetti.
And a little Greek salad.
This is what I dreamt of. I bit that girl for this.
You’ve ruined the whole meal.
You took it all for yourself. We’re going to eat, too.
You put your hand in the pasta.
Sort yourself out.
You’ve been eating with your hands here.
And now you play the gentleman?
You keep looking at my plate.
You do whatever Recep does.
You eat what Recep eats.
Try to be a little original.
-Here, eat it all. -Take it easy.
Have some chicken from there.
Gnaw on that.
Do you want some, too? You’ll be hankering for some.
And a little spaghetti.
And some salad.
You need a balanced meal.
Something from the three food groups.
Protein, carbs, vegetables. Salad.
Eat a balanced meal and you’ll stay fit and healthy.
-What’s your name? -Eda.
Eda, nice. I’m Recep İvedik.
-This is Halil İbo. Say hi. -Hi, big sister.
-Big sister? You’re both older than me. -What’s your birth year?
-Seven. -Really? 87?
Yes, 87.
We record our births a little late in my village.
They don’t register it straight away.
That’s because most of us are born morons.
So the family waits, overwhelmed by grief.
Some are born three-headed. We had one with eight arms, Necmi the Octopus.
It keeps happening. Some are half-man, half-goat.
We record those births at the Ministry of Rural Affairs.
We call him Goat boy.
But as the poet said: You’re only as old as you feel inside
What the poet means to say is that you might look old
-but how you feel is what’s important. -How old do you feel?
-Very old, 90. -Why?
Life wore me out. Life has trampled me.
-Poor thing. I feel for you. -Thank you.
Eda, I see you’re deep in conversation. You must have a lot in common.
Did you hear a buzzing sound?
I heard something like a fly or a mosquito.
Okay, guys! Welcome.
It’s game time at the team merger party.
I’ve got a great game for you.
And the name of the game is limbo!
Limbo!
It’s a simple dance game. We have two vertical bars
and a horizontal pole. You have to go under the pole.
We lower the pole a notch each time you do. It’s simple.
Let me demonstrate.
Music!
Limbo!
Explain so it makes sense! You’re wobbling.
Okay. It’s easy. You pass under the pole.
Easy, you say. I didn't beat anyone up in ages.
But I’m about to explode. Get lost.
It’s simple, Taylan.
If it’s so simple, Recep, let me make you cry.
-You make me cry? -That’s what I’m going to do.
Come on.
-Are you ready, Taylan? -I’m ready.
Music!
Good job, Taylan made it. It’s Recep's turn. Come on, Recep.
It’s easy at this level.
-I’m starting the music. -Play it.
Music!
Good job, Recep! Great!
Now we lower the pole a notch.
Hang on. Lower it two notches.
-Two notches? -Two.
We’re lowering it two notches.
Just a minute.
-Can he lower it like that? -If he wants to.
Okay, then I want to lower it two more notches.
-Two more? -Two more notches.
Recep is lowering it two more notches.
Be careful so you don’t hurt yourself.
Lower it another one. We’ve got a wisecracker. Down another notch.
-Another notch? -Lower it one more.
We’re lowering it another notch.
Recep, you’ll wind up in the hospital.
-Lower it another one. -Are you sure?
He’s egging me on. Take it down another notch.
Okay, we’re lowering it another notch.
Now one more notch.
-Can you pass under that? -Let’s say I do.
-How will you do that? -That’s none of your business.
I can’t lay down under that pole.
You go first, then I’ll go.
-Okay, I’m doing it. -Okay, pass under it.
The contest is heating up.
Can Taylan pass under it at this height?
Music!
Taylan fell!
It’s not possible.
No human could pass under that.
Look at the shape I’m in and I couldn’t.
How can he do it with that big belly and fat ass of his?
I’ll make it. I’m telling you I will.
If he makes it I’ll bray like a donkey.
That’s quite a dare. Things have heated up even more.
You’ll bray like a donkey if I pass under that pole?
-I’ll bray like a donkey. -Right here, in front of everyone?
In front of everyone.
Well then, I’ll lower it
another notch from where he lowered it.
Unbelievable. What a challenge. It could be a world record.
So Recep, you’re saying that’s not how it’s done,
-but this is! -That’s exactly what I’m saying.
I’m throwing down the glove. I’ll show you, I’m saying.
-Recep, are you ready? -Play the music.
Music!
-You’re incredible. -Amazing!
It’s a limbo world record.
You’re amazing, Recep. Great job. Congratulations.
You get the Mr. Limbo trophy!
-Today I’m Mr. Limbo. -Bring the trophy.
Hear it one and all. I’m Mr. Limbo.
It’s a nice trophy. Thank you.
I’ll keep it forever.
What happened? You said I wouldn’t make it.
You said my ass was too fat?
You promised to bray like a donkey. Go on then, bray.
Recep, that was just a figure of speech.
No it’s not, buddy.
Bray like you promised. Here, in front of everyone.
There are girls here, Recep.
There are female donkeys, too. Let me hear you bray.
-Do it. -Okay, I’m braying.
What was that. Are you a donkey or an ambulance?
A donkey brays like this.
Put some soul in it.
Good for you. Everyone needs a donkey like you. What’s your name?
-Taylan. -Taylan the Pylon. Screw you.
That was a great contest.
-Mr. Limbo. -Shut up. That’s enough.
Halil.
Halil İbo.
-What happened? -Get up. We’ve got a mission.
-Mission? What time is it? -A secret mission.
Get me pots and pans, and rope. No questions. Run.
Come here.
What are we doing at the toilet in the middle of the night?
Our mission has two phases.
-What mission? -Soldiers don’t ask questions.
You’re a private.
I’m the general. Don’t make me shout.
I’m sorry.
Open that. Pull up the seat.
Take the pot. Open it wide.
I’m going to throw up.
Boy they shit a lot.
Lay down right here.
I’m going to lower you down. Okay?
I want you to fill the pot with whatever’s down there.
-I’ll throw up. -No, you won’t.
Let’s go.
-Dive in. -I can’t believe we’re doing this.
-Are you filling it? -I’m elbow deep.
Fill it up good.
Pull me up.
Get up, quick.
Nice.
Come with me. Run.
Come on. What do you see over there?
-A game. -What kind of a game?
-What game is that? -Tomorrow’s grand challenge.
See those boxes up there?
They’re full of sawdust.
We’ll stand under them and hold them shut for as long as possible.
Well, what’s this for then?
I want you to fill the first box with it.
We’ll make sure Taylan gets that box. And the fun begins.
-How can you get Taylan there? -I’ll arrange it.
Go to the one on the far left by the bushes. Okay?
Fill the one on the far left.
-The first one. -Right, the first one.
I’m here. Okay? I’ll be the look-out.
If I hear anything, I’ll run off. I’ll run away without a word.
Kudo. Come here.
You put that in front of me.
Put it on the other end so it doesn’t block my view.
Okay.
Quick, take these five things over there.
Take these, quick.
-Right, that’s good. -Great. Set them down.
Okay, go and get ready and tell me
when the contestants arrive.
What's wrong, brother?
You filled the first box, right?
Right, the first one.
The one closest to the bushes? We agree on that?
Yes, the one on the far left.
All right, go to your place.
-Hello, guys. -Hello.
We’ve got a thrilling competition today.
We’ve got the excitement of both an elimination
and a challenge today.
The person who loses the first challenge will be leaving The Island.
Then what will the remaining contestants do?
They will be competing for the grand prize
and the winner will go home with the prize.
-İrfan, can I say something? -Yes, Recep? Go on.
İrfantino, I want to thank you.
As the number one contestant
-I’ll be competing at the first spot. -Yes?
To show goodwill and friendship
I’d like Taylan to take the first spot.
Why do that? You take it.
Why should I? You take it, you idiot.
Has something hit you on the head?
Look, I’m saying this for your own good.
Well, I really have to say that staying here
on the same island has done you good.
You’ve surprised me.
Arrange things as you like.
-Go on then. -Thanks.
They say something will fall on our heads.
You’ll soon get a better idea of what they’re saying.
-What do you mean? -I have no idea.
If you’re ready and holding the shutters tight, let’s begin.
Everyone’s using two hands. I’m the only one using one.
-Why? -Not your business.
Think you can tell me what to do? I’ll do what I want, İrfan.
Five contestants are holding their shutter closed.
Nobody’s showing signs of strain.
But as the minutes pass it will get more difficult.
That kid on the end is about to let go.
-Cenk? -Yes, Cenk.
Cenk! Are going to tank?
-I got a cramp in my leg. -Cramps are terrible.
You might have a stroke. Just let it go.
Cenk let go! Cenk is out.
-Halil? -Yes?
-What are you doing? -Don’t make me talk.
-Halil? -Yes?
Never mind. I won’t say it. Forget it.
Brother.
-No! -Halil İbrahim let go.
Three contestants remain for the prize.
-Eda. -Yes?
Do you shave your armpits with a razor or a machine? They’re so smooth.
İrfan. Recep is distracting me
Please, don’t get personal during the competition.
Personal? I said armpit. Did I say crotch?
What’s personal about her pits. Everyone can see them.
She’s on her way out. Your beauty is enough for you. Let go.
Leave gracefully.
Eda let go.
-There are two contestants left. -Yes.
Taylan, it’s just you and me.
I’m fine. I could stay here for another two hours.
-Let’s see who’s made of what. -I’m fine and dandy.
Let me know when we stop in Afyon.
Hours have passed.
Look, İrfan. I’ve developed five of my appendages.
-What are they? -Two arms, two legs. And my...
-Hey, quiet. -My head.
Your mind is always below the belt. My head.
A chocolate fountain awaits you.
Is it hard?
I can’t take. I can’t believe this guy can beat me.
Let go.
-No! -And Taylan let go!
Sawdust came out! Halil, you said you filled that one?
I swear, I did.
Damn you, Halil. You messed up bad.
-I swear I filled that one. -I asked you.
Did you say the first one, or the second?
-Okay, Recep, you can let go. -İrfan, I won, didn’t I?
-Yes. -Okay, you can all go.
You already won, let go.
I’m not letting go. Don’t wait for me. Go off. I’m going for the record.
You already broke the record.
Don’t make me talk. I’m running out of strength.
-Just let go. -İrfan, he better not. Let’s intervene.
I can’t take it, İrfan. I’m shaking.
-Just let go. -God! I can’t hold it anymore.
-Don't let go. -God help me.
What’s this?
Damn it!
I’m covered with the island’s shit.
What kind of champion is this?
Thanks a lot.
I showered in shit cause of you.
I took a shit shower.
Rich people’s shit is different.
You can get the smell out but not the stain.
I swear I put it in the right place.
Like shit you did. If you had, it would have spilled out on Taylan.
-And not on my head. -I swear on my mom and dad.
Don’t mention their name.
What are you doing here? -Doing laundry. Can’t you see?
Recep, I’ve got some dirty socks and underwear. Could you give them a scrub?
Very funny. Take her and get out of here.
I’ll pierce you right in the heel.
-Maniac! -Beat it!
Set this up.
Enemies never sleep.
Set it up over there.
Set that up there.
Welcome to the grand finale of The Island.
Thank you.
The moment we were waiting for
has finally arrived.
One of the four contestants you see here today will be
this year's champion and walk away with 500 thousand liras.
As you see, all the contestants eliminated so far are here
to cheer you up.
I’d like to thank you all. Thank you, guys.
Let’s begin the first challenge of the final day.
We begin with Recep and Taylan.
-What are you looking at? -What is it?
-Mind your business. -Shut up.
Now you see it, now you don’t.
Nobody gets past me.
Bang bang! Zero out of two.
And Recep wins three out of three.
I give from the right, and from the left.
And one right up the middle.
One to one.
And Halil İbrahim won.
Recep went from two to zero to three to two and wins.
It’ll be a pleasure to watch the ladies compete.
-Shut up. -Get lost. Shut up.
The women are competing.
Taylan gets another point with no losses.
Taylan caught it.
Taylan gets another point.
Eda caught it! Eda made it two to zero.
Not like this, İrfan. I can’t concentrate.
I can’t play the game.
-Why? -Because of those boobies.
When the stick pops up they’re right in front of my eyes.
-Put on a shirt. -Keep your eyes to yourself.
I’d have come topless, İrfan. I’d have come naked if I’d known.
If I do this, I won’t see them.
-Doesn’t he have to lower his hand? -You turned out to be a bad egg, Eda.
And Recep caught it!
Eda says farewell to The Island.
We’re clapping Eda.
We move on to the second game of the final. The excitement mounts.
-Oh boy. -Sorry.
And Recep wins!
And that’s it.
What are you doing?
And Taylan wins!
Halil İbrahim says goodbye to us this round.
I’m still in the game. Don’t bother.
-Good luck. -If I win
it’ll be like you’ve won. Understand?
Like Turkey in World War One.
When Germany was defeated we were considered defeated, too.
Applaud Halil İbrahim as we send him off the island.
Clap for the boy. Give the boy a hand.
-Drop your hand. -He was your rival.
-Why should I clap? -Prick.
We’ve all been waiting breathlessly for this moment.
This is the final and last game.
Two contestants who have been
locked in a fierce battle since they arrived on the island
now face off in the final.
That’s right. The 500 thousand prize is just three penalty shots away
in The Island's championship game.
-İrfan? -Yes.
It’s the end of the competition
-and I’d like to make a speech. -Sure.
I’m happy to see all our friends who were eliminated here.
I give all my blessings to them.
And I ask them to do the same.
Good for you, Recep.
-Great, Recep. -Thank you.
And I want to say something about Taylan.
Making it to the final is a great achievement.
There can only be one champion.
He’ll be the champion of hearts, which is an achievement.
All right. Taylan, would you like to respond?
-May I say something to Recep? -Yes.
You’re in trouble. I played pro soccer for seven years.
-I won’t hurt you too bad. -Look.
He played for seven years. So what?
I’m talking nicely. He’s still talking about the game.
He’s a slime ball. Pure and simple.
I take back what I said earlier
and will speak the only language he understands.
If he played seven years, I played a lifetime
-for Dinamo Güngören. -It looks to me like
the rivalry between these two has reached an all time high.
And the final game will reflect that.
Taylan will take the first penalty kick. Recep will be goalkeeper.
-Are you ready, Recep? -I’m always ready, İrfan.
-Taylan, are you ready? -I’m always ready, too.
May the best man win The Island.
Taylan scores. He’s up one to zero with his first kick.
Taylan goes to the goal in full concentration.
-Recep scores. -That’s how it’s done!
It’s tied at one to one.
-Are you ready? -Come on.
A coward like you'd fear.
-Taylan misses it. -That’s how it’s done.
You’re going to taste it.
The score is still tied but the advantage is Recep's.
And Recep misses!
Damn it.
Recep misses it! It’s still a tie, one to one.
Stop showing off, go to the goal.
Shut up.
-Taylan misses. -That’s the way.
Recep saves and it’s still a tie. Recep gets the last kick.
This is a critical moment.
If Recep makes it, he’ll be this season’s champion
of The Island. But if Taylan saves
we’ll go with more penalty kicks.
I’ll do it for you, kids.
I’ll do it for you.
-İrfan. -Yes.
Can we wear shoes?
But where will you find shoes?
I’d like to use his.
-Will it fit you? -Give it to me.
Could you give me those shoes?
I’ll wear them.
Just the shoes I wanted.
I guess he will do a toe-kick.
That’s it.
I’m the champion! Yes!
They battled for days, weeks, months.
There would only be one winner.
The winner of the 500 thousand lira prize
and the winner of The Island is Recep İvedik.
-What’s this? -I brought your money.
-Oh my God. -Yeah.
Look.
Here’s your nice shiny money.
You can count for days.
Let that be a lesson to you.
I hereby turn over the field to our kids
using the gold scissors provided
to officially open this soccer field.
Here we go, in the name of God. May it be good.
-Are we all in? -Yes, we’re all in.
Okay, did you take it?
Yes, it looks great. Enjoy it.