1 00:00:06,242 --> 00:00:08,479 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:53,421 Hello, Sedona! 3 00:00:54,327 --> 00:00:55,726 Hello. 4 00:00:56,562 --> 00:00:57,773 Oh, my God. 5 00:00:57,798 --> 00:00:59,638 The sunsets out here. 6 00:01:00,985 --> 00:01:03,554 Oh, are they gorgeous or what? 7 00:01:04,351 --> 00:01:06,632 Okay, let's get to it. 8 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,132 This evening, we're going to start 9 00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:11,140 with what we know is real. 10 00:01:11,585 --> 00:01:13,344 The present. 11 00:01:13,369 --> 00:01:15,070 The now. 12 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:16,890 I want you to take a deep breath 13 00:01:16,915 --> 00:01:18,171 and say to yourself, 14 00:01:18,403 --> 00:01:22,187 "I am in the now." 15 00:01:23,030 --> 00:01:24,030 Do it. 16 00:01:24,182 --> 00:01:25,835 Let's say it together. 17 00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:28,664 - I am in the now. - I am in 18 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,882 - the now. - Good. 19 00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,929 That's how I start every morning. 20 00:01:32,954 --> 00:01:36,695 I look in the mirror. I say hi to myself. 21 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,648 You do it. Say hi to yourself. 22 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:42,039 - Hi. - This is your best friend. 23 00:01:42,064 --> 00:01:43,453 I touch the mirror. 24 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,265 Yes, I touch myself. 25 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:47,619 Yeah. 26 00:01:47,644 --> 00:01:48,937 I tell myself, 27 00:01:49,124 --> 00:01:52,507 "You are my number one priority." 28 00:01:52,532 --> 00:01:54,390 You do it. Tell yourself, 29 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,061 "You are my number one priority." 30 00:01:56,086 --> 00:01:58,609 You are my number one priority. 31 00:01:58,634 --> 00:01:59,802 "I love you." 32 00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,496 Do it. Say it. 33 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,976 - Say to yourself, "I love you." - Uh... 34 00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,257 Oh, shit. 35 00:02:05,282 --> 00:02:07,973 - Oh! Oh, God. Sorry. - Mom! 36 00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:09,460 How did you get in here? 37 00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:12,054 Well, I've got a key, honey. I bought this place. 38 00:02:12,603 --> 00:02:14,734 Well, knock. 39 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:16,875 How do you like this outfit? 40 00:02:17,695 --> 00:02:19,070 Looks beautiful. 41 00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:21,593 - It's nice. I... - Are you gonna be long? 42 00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:23,171 No, Mother. I'm not gonna be much longer. 43 00:02:23,898 --> 00:02:25,281 Take your time. 44 00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,747 - No. - Oh, that's terrible. 45 00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:32,421 - Hi, Chip. - Oh. 46 00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:33,703 Hey, honey. 47 00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:36,039 We're right in the middle of gown shopping 48 00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:37,109 for the wedding. 49 00:02:37,235 --> 00:02:39,571 Hey, there was a sale, and I got you something. 50 00:02:39,596 --> 00:02:40,671 Whoo-hoo. 51 00:02:40,696 --> 00:02:42,484 Try it on. I think you'll like it. 52 00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:43,773 I'll be right back, girls. 53 00:02:43,798 --> 00:02:45,234 - Thanks, Mom. - Okay. 54 00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:46,789 - Hi there. - Hi, ladies. 55 00:02:46,814 --> 00:02:50,062 You know, between her place and the rodeo and your place, 56 00:02:50,132 --> 00:02:52,679 Christine has a bathroom everywhere in town. 57 00:02:52,704 --> 00:02:55,117 Yeah. 58 00:02:56,117 --> 00:02:59,015 Oh, beautiful apartment, Chip. 59 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,656 Oh, thank you. It's actually a condo. 60 00:03:00,858 --> 00:03:02,539 Oh... 61 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,726 Christine has been telling us 62 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,187 what a good little helper you've been at the rodeo. 63 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,750 You're up, Joan. 64 00:03:08,775 --> 00:03:09,796 Oh, good. 65 00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:14,359 - Whoo-hoo! - Oh, you look so cute. 66 00:03:14,493 --> 00:03:15,906 Are you ready for school? 67 00:03:16,235 --> 00:03:18,085 That's what it reminds me of. 68 00:03:18,223 --> 00:03:20,859 Oh, I miss you. You know, that house we're in, 69 00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:22,945 it's so big and lonesome. 70 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,187 Why don't we all get together for dinner on Sunday? 71 00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:29,533 We'll go to that Chinese place by the Crystal Palace. 72 00:03:29,558 --> 00:03:31,890 I'll look at my work schedule. Maybe I can pencil something in. 73 00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:33,703 - I think it would be so much fun. - Yeah. 74 00:03:34,017 --> 00:03:36,226 Remember all the dinners we used to have? 75 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,710 We never went to dinners. 76 00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:39,523 Well, we wanted to. 77 00:03:39,548 --> 00:03:41,171 - Your turn. - Oh, good. 78 00:03:41,196 --> 00:03:43,406 Oh. How 'bout those knobs? 79 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,367 Oh, my God, they were gorgeous. 80 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,261 - You just passing through? - Maggie! Let's go. 81 00:03:48,286 --> 00:03:50,210 Big Gowns is gonna close. 82 00:03:50,235 --> 00:03:52,125 - Honey, there's no TP in there. - Oh, my God. 83 00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:53,859 Oh, God, you'll have to go over there. 84 00:03:53,884 --> 00:03:55,781 - I cannot miss this place. - Bye, Chip. 85 00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:57,140 - It's my favorite. - Let's go. Bye, honey. 86 00:03:57,165 --> 00:03:58,201 Bye, honey. 87 00:03:58,226 --> 00:03:59,523 Bye, Mom. Thanks for stopping by 88 00:03:59,548 --> 00:04:01,445 and using my toilet. 89 00:04:02,288 --> 00:04:03,734 - Sarah! - Mom... 90 00:04:05,355 --> 00:04:07,289 Hey, princess, come on. 91 00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,249 I'm talking to my daughter, Nicole, not you. 92 00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:11,421 You can just push that copper tubing to the side. 93 00:04:11,446 --> 00:04:13,125 - Yep, like that. - Dale, 94 00:04:13,188 --> 00:04:15,326 Sarah's failed her last two history exams. 95 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,406 Well, who cares? I mean, the California school system, 96 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,812 all they teach you about is that we came from chimpanzees, 97 00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:21,085 and about sharing. 98 00:04:21,507 --> 00:04:22,531 I'll learn her. 99 00:04:22,556 --> 00:04:23,976 I'll make sure she's learned. 100 00:04:24,001 --> 00:04:25,001 Right, Sarah? 101 00:04:26,711 --> 00:04:28,968 Uh, can we just go? 102 00:04:29,323 --> 00:04:31,445 - We're gonna go. - It's that phone. 103 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:32,679 If she didn't spend so much time 104 00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:33,859 taking pictures of herself on it... 105 00:04:33,884 --> 00:04:35,321 I am not always taking pictures of myself. 106 00:04:35,346 --> 00:04:36,703 Mom's just being a total bitch. 107 00:04:36,728 --> 00:04:38,765 - Do not talk to me like that. - Yeah, well, 108 00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:39,898 I'm living with Dad now, so you 109 00:04:39,923 --> 00:04:41,265 - can't tell me what to do. - Ooh. 110 00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,703 - I'm done. - Emojis are just popular now. 111 00:04:43,728 --> 00:04:45,546 You have to live with it. Hey, sweetie. 112 00:04:45,571 --> 00:04:47,109 You want to come live with Daddy, too? 113 00:04:47,493 --> 00:04:48,493 No. 114 00:04:51,179 --> 00:04:53,586 The youngest is always the most disappointing. 115 00:04:53,688 --> 00:04:56,813 ♪ I drink one for my baby ♪ 116 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:57,985 ♪ Who is long gone... ♪ 117 00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,978 Uh, the guy that lives in that RV right there, 118 00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,486 his name is Walter Scruggs. 119 00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:03,228 He's a very interesting man. 120 00:05:04,081 --> 00:05:07,330 And, uh, that's our place right there. 121 00:05:07,864 --> 00:05:08,864 That's our RV. 122 00:05:10,105 --> 00:05:11,424 Are we in a trailer park? 123 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,259 Uh... well, that's one way of looking at it, yes. 124 00:05:16,796 --> 00:05:18,033 Great. 125 00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:19,338 Well, I'd love to show you the place. 126 00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,009 It smells just like Febreze, so you'll love it. 127 00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,034 Come on in. 128 00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:28,613 Dad, the lights don't even work. 129 00:05:28,815 --> 00:05:29,916 Hold on. 130 00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:32,986 I run my lights on clean, off-the-grid diesel. 131 00:05:33,272 --> 00:05:36,111 They on? 132 00:05:40,368 --> 00:05:41,368 Yeah. 133 00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,525 Pretty cool space in there, isn't it? 134 00:05:43,999 --> 00:05:45,228 Yeah, pretty cool. 135 00:05:45,994 --> 00:05:48,111 You know the voice that plays inside your head... 136 00:05:48,136 --> 00:05:50,025 What you like, what you dislike? 137 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,869 Where do you think that voice came from? 138 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,766 Is it really you, or is it your mom? 139 00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:56,593 Or it could be your sister or brother. 140 00:05:56,619 --> 00:05:59,603 It could be you but when you were nine years old. 141 00:05:59,628 --> 00:06:01,939 Now, would you take advice from a nine-year-old? 142 00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,736 These voices make a map. Go left, go right. 143 00:06:05,761 --> 00:06:08,252 Avoid this situation, take that situation. 144 00:06:08,908 --> 00:06:11,283 But it's not even your map. 145 00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,650 So what we're going to do is we're going to build a new you, 146 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,400 a new map, by bringing all of you into the present. 147 00:06:18,425 --> 00:06:20,134 No more voices from the past. 148 00:06:20,159 --> 00:06:21,968 We're gonna go a different way. 149 00:06:23,089 --> 00:06:24,533 Oh, hey, Chrysanthemum. 150 00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:30,947 - Gosh. Hey, Martha. - Hey, Chip. 151 00:06:31,198 --> 00:06:32,572 Um, could I ask you a question? 152 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,079 How would you describe me? 153 00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:36,863 Hmm. 154 00:06:36,888 --> 00:06:39,462 Uh, male, white... 155 00:06:40,587 --> 00:06:42,180 ...uh, swarthy. 156 00:06:42,205 --> 00:06:43,822 About five-two. 157 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:45,712 - Five-two? - Yeah. 158 00:06:45,783 --> 00:06:47,767 Martha, I'm five-eight and a quarter. 159 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:50,345 My God, get your eyesight checked. 160 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:51,962 I don't mean physically, I mean, like... 161 00:06:52,749 --> 00:06:54,806 what is the energy that I put out there? 162 00:06:55,276 --> 00:06:59,047 Oh, you're listening to Tammy's Live in Sedona, aren't you? 163 00:06:59,072 --> 00:07:01,439 - You're doing the friend quiz. - No. 164 00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:04,533 Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am doing that. 165 00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:06,876 Okay, Chip Baskets. 166 00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:08,915 Um, he's a clown. 167 00:07:09,569 --> 00:07:12,158 A clown with a condo. 168 00:07:12,416 --> 00:07:14,720 Um, you're really good at helping people. 169 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:18,876 Like your mom, and that couple with a baby, and me. 170 00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:22,447 - A helper. So I'm a helper? - Yeah. 171 00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:24,273 That's it? I just help people? 172 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,228 Like that glove on television that helps hamburgers. Great. 173 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,986 Yeah, well, Hamburger Helper has helped 174 00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:32,111 a lot of moms make dinner. 175 00:07:32,399 --> 00:07:34,095 I don't know what you want me to say. 176 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,948 - Who do you think you are? - I guess I'm just misunderstood, 177 00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,002 - that's all. Thanks. - Okay, well... 178 00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:39,502 Excuse me. 179 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,901 Thanks for coming by. 180 00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:49,447 God, I hate dogs. 181 00:07:49,596 --> 00:07:51,704 Any animal, any kind of animals... where was I? 182 00:07:51,729 --> 00:07:52,877 Oh, yeah, I was telling you, 183 00:07:52,902 --> 00:07:56,354 I control the, the Wi-Fi modem here at the RV park, 184 00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:58,557 so it kind of makes me the king of the park, 185 00:07:58,582 --> 00:08:01,104 and you would be my, my princess... hey, guys. 186 00:08:01,129 --> 00:08:02,565 Please don't call me "princess." 187 00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:04,680 These are some of my friends 188 00:08:04,705 --> 00:08:06,165 that I do a lot of my fellowshipping with. 189 00:08:06,189 --> 00:08:07,477 Uh, this is Sarah. 190 00:08:07,502 --> 00:08:09,493 - Hi. - Wow. Nice work, Dale. 191 00:08:09,518 --> 00:08:10,526 Nice work. 192 00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:12,557 - Oh, my God. - Wallis, she's my daughter. 193 00:08:13,549 --> 00:08:16,284 I know. Nice work parenting, whatnot. 194 00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:19,402 And, uh, right here, this is Duane. 195 00:08:19,435 --> 00:08:21,657 He's got a Facebook Live page about the end of the world. 196 00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:23,406 - It's really interesting stuff. - Cool. 197 00:08:23,431 --> 00:08:24,713 Chinese are gonna flood it. 198 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,172 Whole thing's gonna be a beach. 199 00:08:26,335 --> 00:08:28,002 Dead fish flopping all over. 200 00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:29,027 Menthol? 201 00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:30,627 Uh, I don't smoke. 202 00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:32,309 Well, don't poo-poo it. 203 00:08:32,444 --> 00:08:33,812 It works out for some women. 204 00:08:33,837 --> 00:08:34,948 Keeps 'em thin. 205 00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:37,682 Cool rabbit. 206 00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,979 - Uh, does it have a name? - Dinner. 207 00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:42,502 You want to see something even cooler? 208 00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,698 Oh, this is my boy, Wally Jr. 209 00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:47,931 Hi. I'm-I'm Sarah. 210 00:08:47,964 --> 00:08:49,674 - Hey. - Uh, who's this? 211 00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:51,284 Uh, this is Sally Sue. 212 00:08:51,309 --> 00:08:52,649 - Hi. - You want to hold her? 213 00:08:52,674 --> 00:08:53,674 - Can I? - Yeah. 214 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,830 She'll make a little bit of noise. She's fine. 215 00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:56,924 - Oh, my gosh. - Yeah, just like that. That's perfect. 216 00:08:56,949 --> 00:08:59,051 Hi. 217 00:08:59,076 --> 00:09:00,478 It's okay. It's okay. 218 00:09:01,344 --> 00:09:03,306 Um, can you take a picture of me? 219 00:09:03,331 --> 00:09:04,853 - Oh, yeah. Of course. - Thanks. 220 00:09:10,086 --> 00:09:12,438 - Let me see that. Is that nice? - Yeah. 221 00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,649 - Oh, look at that. - Oh, it... 222 00:09:14,674 --> 00:09:15,994 What the hell? 223 00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:17,111 No kissy-face pictures 224 00:09:17,136 --> 00:09:18,244 - with my daughter! - Dad! 225 00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:19,799 - Oh, my God. - Okay? 226 00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:21,478 Keep an eye on your son. 227 00:09:21,963 --> 00:09:23,040 All right. 228 00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:28,213 - Oh, God. Bye. - Bye. 229 00:09:28,238 --> 00:09:31,400 Never forget that you exist in the now. 230 00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:34,670 So I want you to call all of yourself back into the present, 231 00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:37,267 from all the places you've left yourself behind. 232 00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,142 Now say hello to yourself. 233 00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:42,363 This is really you. 234 00:09:42,388 --> 00:09:43,388 Hello. 235 00:09:43,663 --> 00:09:45,831 And you're not going to do it alone. 236 00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,723 You know I'm doing it with you. 237 00:09:47,748 --> 00:09:49,683 So everyone say it with me. 238 00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:53,472 I'm the biggest me that I can be. 239 00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:54,503 I'm the biggest 240 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,114 - me that I can be. - I'm the biggest me that I can... 241 00:09:56,139 --> 00:09:58,919 Can I help you? Whoa, okay. No, no, no, no. 242 00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:02,000 Don't touch it. Don't touch it. You'll make it worse. 243 00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,489 Is there something I can help you with today? 244 00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:09,263 Uh, yes, I am looking for some clothes 245 00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:10,692 that'll make me look like a... 246 00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:12,783 like a real man. 247 00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:15,083 Great. Great. 248 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,458 Well, we should get out of the children's department, then. 249 00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:18,972 Follow me. 250 00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:27,239 Okay, history lesson. 251 00:10:27,264 --> 00:10:29,399 How did America win the Revolution? 252 00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:31,630 I don't know, Dad. How? 253 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:35,114 Guns! America's greatest export. 254 00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,965 Oh, yeah, guns. Guns have gotten us 255 00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:38,653 out of a lot of trouble here. 256 00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:40,036 World War II, we used guns. 257 00:10:40,061 --> 00:10:42,380 Korea, guns. Vietnam, guns. 258 00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:44,606 Uh, Super Bowl XIII, guns. Feel that. 259 00:10:45,184 --> 00:10:47,153 - Feel it. Pick it up. - I... 260 00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:48,981 Okay. 261 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,786 Ta-da. 262 00:10:51,565 --> 00:10:54,192 You look cool as shit with that in your arms. Do it again. 263 00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:55,747 Pick it up. 264 00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,356 There you go... well, there's no bullets in it, 265 00:10:57,381 --> 00:10:59,801 but don't point it at any... don't ever point it at anybody. 266 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,161 Okay? Now, 267 00:11:02,186 --> 00:11:05,669 first thing we need to do is fieldstrip this thing, so... 268 00:11:06,372 --> 00:11:09,497 let me just, uh, take this out. 269 00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:10,722 There we go. 270 00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,348 And, uh, double-check, yeah, there's no bullets in here. 271 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,942 Lefty loosey, righty tighty. 272 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:17,169 It's all jammed up. Oh, hold on one second. 273 00:11:17,194 --> 00:11:18,809 I see what's going on here. 274 00:11:22,263 --> 00:11:23,872 Is that my phone? That's my phone. 275 00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,051 Oh, it's your grandmother. Hold on. 276 00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,892 - Hey, Mom. - Hi, Dale. What you up to? 277 00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:30,259 I'm just teaching my daughter life lessons. 278 00:11:30,284 --> 00:11:31,689 - Why? - I want to take the family 279 00:11:31,714 --> 00:11:33,658 to that place by the Crystal Palace. 280 00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:36,041 Is that the new place with the chocolate chip fortune cookies? 281 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,392 - Okay, we'll be there. - See you there. 282 00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:39,417 Okay, bye. 283 00:11:46,902 --> 00:11:48,142 How did you do that? 284 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,421 I looked it up, Dad, on my phone. 285 00:11:50,446 --> 00:11:51,720 - Ooh. Uh... - Give me that. 286 00:11:52,408 --> 00:11:53,725 What the hell? 287 00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:54,869 I want to teach you! 288 00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:57,251 This is about father-daughter bonding! 289 00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:58,478 Oh, my God. 290 00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:02,470 Goddamn it. 291 00:12:04,087 --> 00:12:05,494 Hey. 292 00:12:07,864 --> 00:12:09,361 Uh... Hey. 293 00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:13,837 Turns out it was loaded. 294 00:12:14,311 --> 00:12:17,001 As human beings, we are uniquely equipped 295 00:12:17,026 --> 00:12:19,128 to take ownership and responsibility 296 00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:21,181 of the life we lead. 297 00:12:21,313 --> 00:12:22,822 We have choice. 298 00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:24,522 We have free will. 299 00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:26,461 You might have a pet dog... 300 00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:27,789 Hi, Reverend Kwon. 301 00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,712 - Hi, Reverend Kwon. Sorry. - Oh. Oh, hey. 302 00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:32,424 Hey. Chip, you are looking really sharp. 303 00:12:32,956 --> 00:12:34,490 - Oh, thanks. - Yeah. 304 00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,408 What's a church youth conference? 305 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:37,892 This is You Alive. 306 00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:39,970 Evangelical youths from-from all over the Central Valley, 307 00:12:39,995 --> 00:12:42,006 they come here to find a deeper fellowship with Christ. 308 00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:43,728 Oh, that sounds like a blast. 309 00:12:43,753 --> 00:12:45,244 Best three days of my life. 310 00:12:45,269 --> 00:12:46,968 H-How are ticket sales? 311 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,431 Oh, uh, really, really good. 312 00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:51,705 Like, we have probably 2,000 people... 313 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,345 ...who have applied. 314 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,517 - We haven't finalized all... - Whoa, whoa, hold on a second. 315 00:12:56,771 --> 00:12:59,822 That sounds like something you might need to rent an arena for. 316 00:13:02,384 --> 00:13:05,212 Oh. Well, we were thinking about the Marriott. 317 00:13:05,237 --> 00:13:06,705 Marriott? No, no, no, no, no. 318 00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:08,566 Uh, Marriotts are owned by Mormons. 319 00:13:08,591 --> 00:13:10,660 - I did not know that. - This is a really good deal. 320 00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:12,884 - It's got Wi-Fi. It's got, uh... - You have Wi-Fi? 321 00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:14,072 Yeah. Yeah. 322 00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:15,608 Genderless bathrooms. 323 00:13:16,384 --> 00:13:18,423 Oh. Let's talk. 324 00:13:18,579 --> 00:13:20,814 Very good. I'll see you around. 325 00:13:31,362 --> 00:13:34,533 Oh, smell that Spring & Renewal. 326 00:13:34,558 --> 00:13:37,173 Mm. That's my favorite Febreze. 327 00:13:37,829 --> 00:13:40,330 Oh, that was a good sleep, wasn't it, Sar-bear? 328 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:43,494 Mm. Sar? 329 00:13:44,028 --> 00:13:45,028 Hey, Sarah? 330 00:13:45,223 --> 00:13:46,540 Let's get up, sweetheart. 331 00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:51,994 Sarah? 332 00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:57,039 Hey! 333 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,070 Amber Alert! 334 00:13:59,095 --> 00:14:01,367 Dale, what's up with the Wi-Fi? 335 00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,778 I'm in the middle of a live feed. 336 00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,165 Well, I'm in the middle of an Amber Alert. 337 00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:07,001 No Wi-Fi. No pornography until we find my daughter. 338 00:14:07,026 --> 00:14:08,712 - I saw your daughter. - Where? 339 00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:11,017 She's off playing with Wally Jr. 340 00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:12,509 They're messing around in the tub. 341 00:14:14,189 --> 00:14:15,665 In the tub? 342 00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:17,649 Sarah! 343 00:14:19,286 --> 00:14:20,361 Yeah, that's so good. 344 00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,618 Yeah. Perfect. 345 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:24,165 Okay, maybe put your leg up on the... 346 00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:25,190 Oh, okay. 347 00:14:25,609 --> 00:14:27,384 And, like, over the shoulder a little bit. 348 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,712 Yeah, perfect. That's so good. 349 00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:32,320 Step away from the princess, you pauper! 350 00:14:32,345 --> 00:14:34,533 Jesus! Dad, put the gun down. 351 00:14:34,558 --> 00:14:37,155 - Put the gun down? Are you crazy? - Are you crazy? 352 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,181 - What's going on here?! - It's just pictures, man. 353 00:14:39,206 --> 00:14:40,915 - "Just pictures"? Get down! - You know? Yeah, Instagra... 354 00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:42,306 - It's just Instagram. - Get down! 355 00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:47,314 Dad. Dad. 356 00:14:48,369 --> 00:14:50,095 I don't understand all this. 357 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,775 You're taking pictures of my daughter. 358 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,800 Yeah. 359 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,806 Look how scantily clad she is, huh? 360 00:14:55,908 --> 00:14:57,233 What do you think about that, son? 361 00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,531 - Geez. - Huh? 362 00:14:58,556 --> 00:14:59,845 - Pretty good. Oh! - Give me this phone. 363 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:01,881 This phone has caused nothing but trouble 364 00:15:01,913 --> 00:15:03,541 Whoa, what the hell, man? 365 00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:05,256 Shit. 366 00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,477 Goddamn it. 367 00:15:07,502 --> 00:15:08,635 I'm pretty sure you can just put it 368 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:10,034 in a bag of rice or something. 369 00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:11,934 I've heard that works. 370 00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:12,959 You know what else is good 371 00:15:12,984 --> 00:15:13,995 - for these phones? - No, Dad. 372 00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,887 Are you crazy? 373 00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,660 Okay. Put your clothes on. 374 00:15:24,694 --> 00:15:26,127 We got to go to a Chinese restaurant. 375 00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:27,152 Let's go. 376 00:15:28,278 --> 00:15:30,080 Take responsibility... 377 00:15:30,237 --> 00:15:33,403 Hello. I'm here for the, uh, Baskets party. 378 00:15:33,428 --> 00:15:34,682 - Hey, Chip. - Yeah. 379 00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:37,229 - Hey. - Hey, Martha. 380 00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:39,151 - Hey. - What are you doing here? 381 00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:40,176 Do you work here? 382 00:15:40,201 --> 00:15:41,885 I don't. Your mom invited me. 383 00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,276 You're all dolled up. 384 00:15:43,468 --> 00:15:45,815 Just, uh, I don't know. I just thought I'd put some... 385 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,338 Oh, you're still listening to the Tammy stuff. 386 00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,588 - I like it. - Yeah, I mean... 387 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,721 - it's for entertainment. - The new Chip. 388 00:15:52,746 --> 00:15:54,315 You look really grown-up. 389 00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:56,784 Thanks. Thanks, Martha. 390 00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,338 - Well, you ready for some Chinese food? - Sure. 391 00:15:59,504 --> 00:16:00,906 How are you with chopsticks? 392 00:16:00,931 --> 00:16:02,784 No. Brought my own fork. 393 00:16:02,914 --> 00:16:05,659 Oh, is this like the lobsters where you get to pick 'em out, 394 00:16:05,684 --> 00:16:08,205 - then you get to eat 'em? - I don't think these are for cooking. 395 00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:11,433 Oh, what a shame. They look so delicious. 396 00:16:11,544 --> 00:16:12,544 Monica, listen to me. 397 00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:15,205 Just make sure that it's not the stain-repellent chemicals 398 00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:16,534 that's causing the problems. 399 00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,307 Ken, get off the phone. 400 00:16:18,332 --> 00:16:20,791 - We're gonna have dinner. - Honey, gotta go. Walking in to dinner. 401 00:16:20,816 --> 00:16:21,878 - Sorry, Christine. - Let's go. 402 00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:23,628 The girls are having a little carpet problem 403 00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:24,761 - they got to deal with. - Okay. 404 00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:26,394 Oh, Chip, Martha, 405 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:27,821 you're here early. 406 00:16:27,846 --> 00:16:29,363 Well, time is money, Mom. 407 00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:31,394 - Isn't that the truth? - Hello. 408 00:16:31,419 --> 00:16:33,050 Oh, thank you, Ken. 409 00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:35,475 Chip, like the suit. 410 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,511 Thank you, sir. 411 00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:38,449 Got a new clown act up your sleeve? 412 00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,050 Well, just, uh... 413 00:16:40,503 --> 00:16:43,582 You know, Chip's always dressed up in funny outfits. 414 00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,769 When he was younger, I came home one time, 415 00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,972 and he had my bra on his head, 416 00:16:48,183 --> 00:16:51,152 and he was pretending he was a praying mantis. 417 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,391 It was your panties on my head. 418 00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:54,683 - Oh. - I'm just turning over a new leaf. 419 00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:56,910 - That's all. - Oh, honey, good for you. 420 00:16:57,046 --> 00:16:58,047 Hey everybody. 421 00:16:58,072 --> 00:17:01,558 Oh, my businessman son. 422 00:17:02,425 --> 00:17:04,854 Oh, God, you're getting so tall. 423 00:17:04,879 --> 00:17:06,667 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 424 00:17:06,815 --> 00:17:09,144 Nice monkey suit, stupid. 425 00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:13,097 I, uh, have a money question for you, Dale. 426 00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:14,339 Mom, you can ask me. 427 00:17:14,571 --> 00:17:16,190 Honey, if I had a clown question, 428 00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:18,684 I'd ask you because that's your expertise. 429 00:17:19,175 --> 00:17:20,918 Hi. Do you know what you'd like to drink? 430 00:17:20,943 --> 00:17:23,089 Well, we just got here. I'm all discombobulated, 431 00:17:23,114 --> 00:17:26,073 and the-the menu's in... half of it's in Chinese, 432 00:17:26,430 --> 00:17:29,393 so I don't know what to do here. Mm-kay. 433 00:17:29,418 --> 00:17:30,418 I'm ready to order. 434 00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:32,550 I'm gonna have chicken fried rice, 435 00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,073 and I'm gonna have, uh, 436 00:17:35,098 --> 00:17:37,058 - kung pao chicken. - Mom, mom, mom. 437 00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:38,825 - I think it's just the drinks. - Huh? 438 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,792 - Oh, I got ahead of myself. - Sorry, Christine. 439 00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:42,276 - I have to take this. - What? 440 00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:43,308 Monica. 441 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,026 No, no, don't sign nothing 442 00:17:45,051 --> 00:17:47,737 until you double-check the inventory. 443 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,440 - What the hell's that about? - What? 444 00:17:49,675 --> 00:17:51,716 - Carpet, honey. - My God. 445 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:53,198 Does he have to make such a scene? 446 00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:54,861 Uncle Chip? 447 00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:56,587 - Yes? - Can I borrow your phone? 448 00:17:56,612 --> 00:17:58,300 - For what reason? - Don't do that. 449 00:17:58,325 --> 00:17:59,964 All she's gonna do is take pictures of her titties 450 00:17:59,989 --> 00:18:01,362 - and put it on Twitter. - Dad. 451 00:18:01,387 --> 00:18:02,792 - Well, that's the truth. - Don't say... 452 00:18:02,817 --> 00:18:04,406 - that at the table. - You might as well call it "Twitties." 453 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:05,431 Oh, my God. 454 00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,099 Um, anyway, uh, I just want his phone 455 00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:09,953 so I can call Mom to tell her to pick me up. 456 00:18:11,294 --> 00:18:12,460 I want to go home. 457 00:18:14,357 --> 00:18:16,140 Call... call your mom? 458 00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,538 But I thought you hated your mom. 459 00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:20,098 Yeah, well, I want to see her again, 460 00:18:20,123 --> 00:18:22,695 and... you know what? She's not insane 461 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,874 - and living in a trailer park. - It is not a trailer park. 462 00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,086 I told you that. Those are good Americans living there. 463 00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:29,641 - Come on, you guys. - They tried to get me to smoke. 464 00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,156 - Who did? - I'll have a Tom Collins, please. 465 00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:32,906 - You're missing the point. - What am I missing? 466 00:18:32,931 --> 00:18:34,156 I-I'm not missing anything. 467 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,181 - Do you know what? - Sir, do you... 468 00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:36,361 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna have a hamburger 469 00:18:36,386 --> 00:18:37,416 with jack cheese, please. 470 00:18:37,441 --> 00:18:38,441 - I'm sorr... - Hold the onions. I'll have 471 00:18:38,466 --> 00:18:40,894 - double the pickles. - We don't have hamburgers here. 472 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:43,081 You don't have hamburgers in America? 473 00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,237 It's a Chinese restaurant, Dale. 474 00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,487 Yeah, but why do I have to kowtow to their culture? 475 00:18:47,811 --> 00:18:48,811 Why is that? 476 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,060 - Just get some moo shu, honey. - I don't want moo shu, Mom. 477 00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:53,234 - You love moo shu. - I don't... I don't love moo shu. 478 00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:55,859 He'll have the moo shu pork. You loved that as a kid. 479 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,820 I don't want any moo shu. No moo shu. 480 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,812 None. I don't want any moo shu. 481 00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,852 - Put down moo shu. - I don't want moo shu. 482 00:19:01,877 --> 00:19:03,655 - It's the principle of the matter. - Dad. 483 00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,804 I mean, at Willy's Wontons, you can order a goddamn corn dog. 484 00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:08,007 - Dale. - Willy's Wonton? 485 00:19:08,032 --> 00:19:10,296 - Sit down. - Oh, my God. 486 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,843 Um, I'll have the Grandma's Soup Noodles. 487 00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:16,632 Yeah, hello? Yeah, hey. 488 00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:17,830 Can I get a cheeseburger? 489 00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:19,345 - Is that possible? - Hey, Dale, Dale, Dale. 490 00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:20,752 Listen. Breathe. 491 00:19:21,436 --> 00:19:22,436 Breathe. 492 00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,244 - Wha...? - Repeat after me. 493 00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:26,502 Uh, say it with me. 494 00:19:26,536 --> 00:19:27,536 Uh... 495 00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:30,720 - I am in the now. - What are you doing? 496 00:19:30,745 --> 00:19:33,166 Look, you're in the kitchen, okay? 497 00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:34,725 Your family's out there. 498 00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:37,322 We need to bring all of you into the now. 499 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,424 Look, I'm tired of the influx of immigrants 500 00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:40,689 coming into this country that don't know how 501 00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,033 to make a cheeseburger. 502 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,408 I mean, am I... am I crazy for-for being like that? 503 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,916 I think you're just getting frustrated 504 00:19:45,941 --> 00:19:47,072 with your anger at your daughter. 505 00:19:47,097 --> 00:19:48,627 You're taking it out on the immigrants. 506 00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:50,754 Uh, I'm from Modesto. 507 00:19:50,849 --> 00:19:52,658 - I'm so sorry. - Where's that? 508 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,572 It's up in the Bay Area. 509 00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,767 Look, Dale. 510 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,791 He's, like, a San Francisco type of guy. 511 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,156 Dale, look. 512 00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:01,822 Everybody that you love is here. 513 00:20:02,813 --> 00:20:04,728 Just order the moo shu. 514 00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:06,220 Okay? Let's go have dinner. 515 00:20:08,644 --> 00:20:10,588 Could you just figure it out, please? 516 00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:12,082 Chinese cheese is fine. 517 00:20:14,717 --> 00:20:15,717 I'm sorry. 518 00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,455 Can you make him a burger? 519 00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:21,416 You got too much facial hair to be in here. 520 00:20:32,072 --> 00:20:33,416 Ken, you ever been to China? 521 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,502 No. 522 00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:35,619 Me, neither. 523 00:20:40,502 --> 00:20:42,580 Oh, hey. 524 00:20:42,989 --> 00:20:44,822 So sorry about... 525 00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:47,278 our family uproar. 526 00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:54,033 - Here you go, honey. Call your mom. - Thank you. 527 00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,478 Look, I think I... 528 00:20:58,112 --> 00:21:00,877 I think I'm just upset, uh, because... 529 00:21:00,902 --> 00:21:03,533 Sarah, I... you know, I was excited. 530 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,954 It's just, I'm just sad that you're leaving. 531 00:21:05,979 --> 00:21:08,275 That's all. I'm just temperamental about it. 532 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,337 Well, that runs in our family, honey. 533 00:21:10,362 --> 00:21:12,009 I just don't think anybody loves me. 534 00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:14,070 - Oh, honey. - Dad, okay... 535 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,040 People love you. 536 00:21:17,512 --> 00:21:19,514 Can you hand this over to him? 537 00:21:20,049 --> 00:21:21,275 - Here, honey. - Here, Dad. 538 00:21:22,265 --> 00:21:23,265 What's that? 539 00:21:23,611 --> 00:21:26,025 - It's for your face. - Oh. Yes. 540 00:21:30,103 --> 00:21:31,727 There you go. 541 00:21:31,761 --> 00:21:32,761 Happy? 542 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,720 There you go. 543 00:21:34,745 --> 00:21:36,486 That's love right there. 544 00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:39,201 That looks interesting. 545 00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:42,837 Wish I would have got that now. 546 00:21:43,347 --> 00:21:44,915 Hmm. It's not bad. 547 00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:46,298 - Oh, good. - What's that little grin 548 00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:48,111 - you got on your face there, huh? - Sorry. 549 00:21:48,136 --> 00:21:50,992 Hey. Don't be rude, Dale. 550 00:21:51,017 --> 00:21:52,790 I was smiling 'cause you got your burger. 551 00:21:52,815 --> 00:21:54,900 That's why I was smiling. I was happy about it. 552 00:21:54,925 --> 00:21:56,227 Show some manners. 553 00:21:56,452 --> 00:21:58,087 What are we, savages here? 554 00:21:58,563 --> 00:22:01,095 Chip, thank you for saving dinner. 555 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,134 - Yeah. Yes. - Let's have a toast to Chip. 556 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,441 - Okay. - Yeah. 557 00:22:05,466 --> 00:22:07,157 - Chip. - Toast, Dale. 558 00:22:07,182 --> 00:22:08,743 Toast your brother. 559 00:22:12,056 --> 00:22:13,669 Well, he gave you a burger toast, honey. 560 00:22:13,694 --> 00:22:14,767 - I'm sorry. - That'll work. 561 00:22:16,056 --> 00:22:17,523 Well, that was tons of fun. 562 00:22:17,548 --> 00:22:19,532 - Yeah. - Do you mind driving me to the rodeo? 563 00:22:19,557 --> 00:22:21,985 I got some contracts that I need you to fill out. 564 00:22:22,712 --> 00:22:24,446 Wow, you really are five-eight. 565 00:22:24,471 --> 00:22:26,165 I'm five-eight and a quarter. 566 00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:29,093 I need to get on a flight to Denver as soon as possible. 567 00:22:29,585 --> 00:22:31,399 I want you to go with me. 568 00:22:31,424 --> 00:22:33,759 Oh. Um... 569 00:22:34,477 --> 00:22:36,291 Yeah, can I get some ranch dressing, please? 570 00:22:36,325 --> 00:22:37,673 For the third time. 571 00:22:40,381 --> 00:22:41,712 Okay, I'll go. 572 00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:44,800 Thank you for the moo shu. 573 00:22:45,152 --> 00:22:46,152 Because the truth is 574 00:22:46,177 --> 00:22:48,102 each and every one of you is as special 575 00:22:48,127 --> 00:22:51,048 and unique as that glorious sunset. 576 00:22:51,182 --> 00:22:54,519 You don't need to convince anyone who you are. 577 00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,102 That's right. 578 00:22:57,127 --> 00:23:00,048 Ow! 579 00:23:00,182 --> 00:23:03,582 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com