1 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,848 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,483 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:25,759 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - CHELSEA HANDLER, 4 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:29,929 MATTHEW MACFADYEN, COMEDIAN RALPH BARBOSA AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:39,105 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1776 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,808 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:45,211 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:45,211 --> 00:01:05,665 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 9 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:10,270 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 10 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:15,842 WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW." HEY, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, EVERYONE DO ME A FAVOR 11 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:18,078 CHECK UNDER YOUR SEATS FOR ANY CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. 12 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:23,083 [ LAUGHTER ] THEY JUST SEEM TO BE EVERYWHERE LATELY 13 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,252 YEAH, EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS A SECOND BATCH OF CLASSIFIED 14 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:29,923 DOCUMENTS WERE FOUND AT PRESIDENT BIDEN'S HOME IN DELAWARE 15 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,691 GOOD LORD, APPARENTLY, PRESIDENTS LOSE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS THE WAY WE LOSE 16 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:38,231 AIRPODS. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S GETTING CRAZY 17 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:41,201 NOW, INSTEAD OF QUARTERS, BIDEN'S FINDING CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS BEHIND KIDS' EARS. 18 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:46,206 IT'S LIKE, "OH, LOOK AT THAT." [ LAUGHTER ] "THE NUCLEAR CODES FROM IRAN." 19 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:50,810 YEAH, MOST OF THE NEW DOCUMENTS WERE FOUND IN BIDEN'S GARAGE COME ON, THESE ARE THE NATION'S 20 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:55,181 TOP SECRETS. THEY SHOULD ALL BE STORED IN THAT CRAZY PUZZLE BOX FROM 21 00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:58,918 "KNIVES OUT 2. [ LAUGHTER ] "AIM IT TOWARDS -- 22 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:03,156 ANOTHER CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT WAS FOUND IN A ROOM THAT BIDEN CALLS HIS PERSONAL LIBRARY 23 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:08,962 OH, PLEASE JUST SAY BATHROOM. [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:13,233 THE WHITE HOUSE SAID IT WAS JUST A SMALL NUMBER OF CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS 25 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,835 IT'S LIKE YOUR DOCTOR SAYING, "DON'T WORRY, IT'S JUST A SMIDGE OF HERPES." 26 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:28,648 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 27 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,352 "JUST AN UNCH, JUST AN UNCH. THIS MORNING, BIDEN ADDRESSED THE DISCOVERY OF THE SECOND 28 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,488 BATCH OF DOCUMENTS AND HERE'S WHAT HE SAID 29 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:43,930 CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND CLASSIFIED MATERIALS SERIOUSLY [ LAUGHTER ] 30 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:45,665 >> Jimmy: HERE'S HOW FOX NEWS AIRED IT 31 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:59,012 CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS - * [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 32 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,748 >> Jimmy: BUT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT IS TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY. 33 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,717 TODAY THE ATTORNEY GENERAL APPOINTED A SPECIAL COUNSEL TO INVESTIGATE BIDEN'S HANDLING OF 34 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:07,587 THE DOCUMENTS. YEAH I'M NOT SAYING BIDEN'S GETTING 35 00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:13,360 WORRIED, BUT HE JUST TEXTED RUDY GIULIANI. SO, YOU GO, WOW. 36 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,428 [ AUDIENCE OHs ] THAT'S NOT GOOD. THAT'S NOT GOOD. 37 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,731 THAT'S RIGHT THEY APPOINTED A SPECIAL COUNSEL. 38 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,333 BIDEN TRIED TO SPIN IT HE SAID, "GOOD NEWS, I'M CREATING JOBS. 39 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,737 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THE WHITE HOUSE IS NOW SAYING THAT THEY ARE CONFIDENT 40 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:27,240 AN INVESTIGATION WILL SHOW THE DOCUMENTS WERE INADVERTENTLY MISPLACED. 41 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:32,245 NEXT, HE'LL BE LIKE, "I WAS JUST HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND, I SWEAR. 42 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,415 [ LAUGHTER ] SWITCHING GEARS, I SAW THAT PRINCE HARRY'S MEMOIR, "SPARE," 43 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:40,453 IS BREAKING SALES RECORDS. IT IS MASSIVE. AND THIS IS VERY INTERESTING - 44 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,756 HIS BOOK DEAL INCLUDES THREE MORE BOOKS SO, HE'S ALREADY WORKING ON 45 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,692 SEQUELS. IN FACT, WE GOT OUR HANDS ON SOME OF THE TITLES THAT HE'S 46 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:50,397 CONSIDERING. >> Tariq: OH, HERE WE GO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 47 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,799 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S UP, TARIQ >> Tariq: WELL, LET ME GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO POKE FUN 48 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:56,970 ATPRINCE HARRY BY LISTING A BUNCH OF FAKE BOOK TITLES. >> Jimmy: I MEAN, YEAH, THAT 49 00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:01,041 WAS THE PLAN >> Tariq: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS WILL GO DOWN. 50 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,511 SO, YOU'LL SHOW A GRAPHIC WITH A PICTURE OF PRINCE HARRY THAT SAYS "NEW BOOK TITLES. 51 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:09,215 AND THEN -- AND THEN UNDER THAT YOU'LL LIST A BUNCH OF JOKES LIKE - 52 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:15,422 "CRAZY RICH CAUCASIANS." [ LAUGHTER ] OR "50 SHADES OF RED." 53 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,824 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, MAYBE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Tariq: OR "HARRY AUTHOR AND 54 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:24,397 THE ORDER OF THE FROSTBITTEN PENIS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 55 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,700 AND THEN -- AND THEN YOU'LL DO "OF MICE AND MEGHAN. >> Jimmy: YEAH 56 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,736 [ LAUGHTER ] OR "WILLIAM AND KATE EXPECTATIONS." 57 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,573 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND THEN "WHERE THE WILD CORGIS ARE. 58 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,642 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OR -- OR "THE OLD MAN AND THE TEA. 59 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:39,479 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT >> Tariq: THEN FINALLY, YOU'LL JUST DO "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE." 60 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:43,750 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Tariq: IS THAT HOW IT'S 61 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:47,887 GOING TO GO, JIMMY >> Jimmy: UH, YEAH, YOU NAILED IT 62 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:51,624 >> Tariq: IT'S A FUN BIT YOU SHOULD DO IT ON THE SHOW >> Jimmy: WELL, MAYBE -- MAYBE 63 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,762 SOME OTHER TIME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] GOT SOME TV NEWS 64 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:59,499 "WHEEL OF FORTUNE" WAS JUST RENEWED FOR FIVE MORE SEASONS. AND THE DEAL INCLUDES A BIG 65 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:03,036 RAISE FOR PAT SAJAK. YOU CAN TELL PAT'S EXCITED CHECK OUT ONE OF TODAY'S 66 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:03,370 CHECK OUT ONE OF TODAY'S PUZZLES. 67 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,441 >> I'LL TAKE A C 68 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:15,115 >> YEAH, THAT'S IT * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 69 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:18,084 >> Jimmy: COME ON. >> Steve: WOW. DON'T RUB IT IN. 70 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,587 >> Jimmy: DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS I HEARD THAT SUBWAY MIGHT BE 71 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,624 SOLD FOR MORE THAN $10 BILLION [ AUDIENCE OHS ] YEAH, THE SALE COULD BE DONE IN 72 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,794 A FEW MONTHS, OR A LITTLE LONGER IF THEY WANT THEIR SUBWAY TOASTED 73 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:35,435 [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, AFTER BEING CLOSED FOR YEARS DUE TO COVID, THE 74 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,838 PUBLIC BATHROOMS IN SEVERAL NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY STATIONS WERE JUST REOPENED 75 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:43,543 [ CHEERS ] YEAH AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE 76 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,078 THIS WHEN THEY OPENED THEM UP, THEY FOUND MORE CLASSIFIED 77 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:49,082 DOCUMENTS. [ LAUGHTER ] WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 78 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,684 GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS, EVERYBODY. COME ON. 79 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:50,717 EVERYBODY. COME ON. 80 00:05:53,953 --> 00:06:02,128 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE 81 00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,632 FOR YOU TONIGHT. ONE OF MY FAVORITES. OH, I LOVE HER 82 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:09,669 HER LATEST STANDUP SPECIAL, "REVOLUTION," IS NOW STREAMING GLOBALLY ON NETFLIX. 83 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,939 CHELSEA HANDLER IS HERE TONIGHT. >> Steve: OH 84 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:17,210 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: MAN, SHE'S FUNNY I LOVE HER 85 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,312 PLUS, YOU KNOW HIM FROM "SUCCESSION. NOW HE'S STARRING IN THE NEW 86 00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:22,549 MINISERIES, "STONEHOUSE," WHICH BEGINS STREAMING ON BRITBOX JANUARY 17th 87 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:27,253 MATTHEW MACFADYEN IS HERE TONIGHT. >> Steve: OH! [ CHEERS AND 88 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:34,361 APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: HE'S TOM AND WE'VE GOT GREAT STANDUP 89 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:38,398 FROM RALPH BARBOSA, EVERYBODY. >> Steve: OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 90 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,602 >> Jimmy: GUYS, IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO 91 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:42,635 "TONIGHT SHOW HASHTAGS." HERE WE GO 92 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:52,846 * HASHTAG HASHTAGS * 93 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:57,117 >> Jimmy: WE DO THIS THING EVERY WEEK WHERE I SEND OUT A HASHTAG AND WE ASK YOU GUYS 94 00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:01,488 TO RESPOND TO THAT TOPIC THIS WEEK, I SPENT OUT THE HASHTAG, "THAT'S MY FAMILY." 95 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:06,192 AND I ASKED YOU TO TWEET OUT YOUR FAMILY -- FUNNY OR SILLY FAMILY QUIRKS. 96 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,361 WITHIN MINUTES, IT WAS A A TRENDING TOPIC IN THE U.S., SO, THANK YOU FOR PLAYING 97 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:13,600 ALONG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I THINK WITH PRINCE HARRY, A 98 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,405 A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE JUST LOOKING AT THEIR OWN FAMILY AND GOING, "WELL, WE'RE WEIRD TOO. 99 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:21,041 ANYWAYS, I THOUGHT I'D SHARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE TWEETS FROM YOU GUYS 100 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,944 THIS FIRST ONE'S FROM @FIESTA RED. HE SAYS, MY DAD WILL GET 101 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,313 KETCHUP PACKETS FROM RESTAURANTS AND THEN HAVE US ALL TAKE TURNS USING THEM TO 102 00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:34,587 FILL UP OUR EXISTING KETCHUP BOTTLE AT HOME [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 103 00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,556 WOW. >> Steve: WOW. FRUGAL 104 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,758 >> Jimmy: GENIUS >> Steve: YOU KNOW WITH THE CREAMERS, TOO 105 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,562 >> Jimmy: THAT'S MY FAMILY THIS IS FROM @RENEEJORDAN78. SHE SAYS, "WHENEVER MY DAD SEES 106 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:47,400 A HOUSE AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT HE LIKES, HE SAYS, 'I'LL TAKE THAT ON FRENCH TOAST.'" 107 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:55,608 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS ONE'S FROM @BABEWHO SHE SAYS, "WHEN MY SON WAS A 108 00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:59,746 A TODDLER, HE COULDN'T PRONOUNCE 'YOU'RE WELCOME' IT CAME OUT 'YOU'RE RECTUM.' 109 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:03,683 [ LAUGHTER ] "40 YEARS LATER, OUR FAMILY STILL RESPONDS 'YOU'RE RECTUM' 110 00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:08,254 WHEN SOMEONE SAYS 'THANK YOU.' [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S -- THAT'S A FAMILY 111 00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,123 TRADITION. >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 112 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,759 >> Steve: I'LL TAKE THAT ON SOME FRENCH TOAST. YOU'RE RECTUM. 113 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,929 >> Jimmy: AH, THANK -- [ RIM SHOT ] CAN'T SAY THEM BOTH IN - 114 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:20,500 >> Steve: WHAT'S THAT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM 115 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,771 @CHELSEAGONZO. SHE SAYS, "WHEN IT'S SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY, THEY GET WOKEN UP 116 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:29,376 WITH A SMATTERING OF BUTTER ON THEIR NOSE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 117 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,545 "GOOD MORNING. >> Steve: "MORNING." >> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS FROM 118 00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:36,583 @DASNAPESOFWRATH THEY SAID, "WHENEVER ME OR ONE OF MY FOUR SISTERS BRINGS HOME 119 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,451 A BOY, WE LIKE TO TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, SIT IN A CIRCLE AND CHANT RANDOM THINGS AS HE WALKS 120 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:48,395 IN THE DOOR. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THAT'S A COVEN 121 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,431 >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM @GORHAM BETSY. SHE SAYS, "WE OFTEN TELL PEOPLE 122 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:54,934 HOW MY BROTHER, PHIL, DOESN'T COME TO FAMILY EVENTS AND HOW IT'S A WHOLE THING 123 00:08:54,934 --> 00:09:01,174 WE MADE UP PHIL IN 1995. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE HE DOESN'T EXIST 124 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,376 >> Steve: YEAH, "HE'S NOT HERE." >> Jimmy: THIS ONE'S FROM 125 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:08,481 @JAKEWILLIAMSART HE SAYS, "DAD USED TO MAKE US WEAR OUR HOLIDAY CLOTHING ON 126 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,551 VALENTINE'S DAY JUST SO THAT WE COULD SAY WE WORE THEM MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR." 127 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:18,892 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THIS LAST ONE HERE IS FANTASTIC. 128 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,696 THIS IS FROM @CLAIRELINKHART SHE SAYS, "MY HUSBAND'S FAMILY HAD HIS BABY TEETH PRESERVED IN 129 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:27,834 A HAND- CARVED WOODEN BEAVER." [ AUDIENCE OHS ] THAT'S THE - 130 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:32,038 [ AUDIENCE OHS LOUDER LOOK AT -- [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 131 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:35,508 OH, MY - THERE YOU HAVE IT. THOSE ARE OUR "TONIGHT SHOW" 132 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,043 HASHTAGS TO CHECK OUT MORE OF OUR FAVORITES, GO TO 133 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:42,282 TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." 134 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:51,458 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: IT'S TIME FOR A DANCE 135 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:55,729 OFF BETWEEN WEDNESDAY ADDAMS AND M3GAN THE ROBOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 136 00:09:55,729 --> 00:10:19,753 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK 137 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,589 AS YOU GUYS KNOW, WE'RE ALWAYS STRIVING TO GET BETTER HERE AT "THE TONIGHT SHOW. 138 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:25,425 * HARDE BETTER * * FASTE 139 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:31,564 STRONGER * [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SO, BEFORE EVERY 140 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,733 SHOW, WE PUT OUT A SUGGESTION BOX FOR THE AUDIENCE, JUST TO GET SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT WHAT 141 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,368 YOU GUYS THINK OF THE SHOW, THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO SEE US DO, THAT KIND OF STUFF 142 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:40,340 SO, TONIGHT, LET'S LOOK INSIDE THE "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." HERE WE GO 143 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:40,373 THE "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." HERE WE GO 144 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,809 * LOOK INTO THE BOX THE SUGGESTION BOX * 145 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:47,747 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: I APPRECIATE THESE SUGGESTIONS, EVERYBODY 146 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:51,117 THIS FIRST ONE IS FROM @SHERRY -- IT'S NOT FROM AT, SORRY. 147 00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:55,055 THIS IS FROM SHERRY McFALL "HEY, JIMMY, I LOVE 'YELLOWSTONE,' AND I'D LOVE TO 148 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:58,124 HEAR THE THEME SONG DONE WITH KAZOOS CAN YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN?" 149 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,293 YEAH, OF COURSE. HERE'S THE THEME FROM "YELLOWSTONE" DONE WITH KAZOOS 150 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,462 "YELLOWSTONE" DONE WITH KAZOOS CHECK IT OUT 151 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:07,834 [ KAZOO PLAYING 152 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:16,076 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] * [ LAUGHTER ] 153 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:21,715 [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: THEY SHOULD USE THAT YEAH 154 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,584 LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE HERE THIS ONE'S FROM DENNIS HARRY "HEY, JIMMY. 155 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,520 I NOTICED THERE ARE SOME BUTTONS ON YOUR CHAIR. I WAS WONDERING WHAT THOSE WERE 156 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,590 FOR. YEAH THIS IS MY -- THIS IS MY 157 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:34,294 SELF-DRIVING CHAIR >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: IT'S -- IT'S -- IT'S 158 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,464 A BRAND-NEW THING. JUST CAME OUT AT CES AND IT'S -- I -- ONE OF THE 159 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,633 FIRSTS TO HAVE IT. >> Steve: WOW. >> Jimmy: IT GETS ME AROUND THE 160 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,502 STUDIO SUPER FAST. THE CHAIR JUST KNOWS WHERE TO GO 161 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,904 IT'S PRETTY -- YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE HOW IT WORKS >> Audience: YEAH. 162 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:48,108 >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO HERE PULL UP THE LEVER HERE, LIKE 163 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:54,647 THAT AND THEN, HERE WE GO WOAH 164 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,716 THIS SEAT TAKES OFF. [ LAUGHTER ] BE RIGHT BACK. 165 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,885 [ CHAIR ROLLING WOOHOO WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT, WATCH 166 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:03,390 OUT, WATCH OUT [ CHAIR CRASHING ] COMING THROUGH 167 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:08,395 [ SHRIEKING WATCH OUT. NO, NO, NO 168 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:17,570 NO, NO, NO, NO [ CRASHING DOWN STAIRS ] AH 169 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:25,779 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: WOW. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 170 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:29,282 >> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT? >> Steve: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? >> Jimmy: PERFECTLY GREAT. 171 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:34,521 >> Steve: DID YOU SAY CES OR CVS? [ LAUGHTER ] 172 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,623 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE ANOTHER SUGGESTION HERE. THIS ONE'S - 173 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,892 [ LAUGHTER ] THE CHAIR GETS ME AROUND THE STUDIO 174 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,860 >> Steve: THAT'S -- IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S EFFICIENT THOUGH 175 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,096 >> Jimmy: YEAH OH, IT'S FANTASTIC >> Steve: ARE YOU OKAY 176 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,365 YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU FELL DOWN A FEW FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. >> Jimmy: WHAT, NO 177 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,334 NO WERE THE CAMERAS ON ME >> Steve: OH, MY GOSH. 178 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:51,805 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THIS IS FROM TRACY TOMPKINS 179 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:57,110 "JIMMY, I LOVE VIRTUAL REALITY YOU SHOULD HAVE A VR INTERVIEW WITH SOMEONE ON THE SHOW." 180 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,245 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. WE CAN ACTUALLY TRY ONE RIGHT NOW. 181 00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:01,648 TARIQ, ARE YOU DOWN? >> Tariq: SURE >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. 182 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,484 LET ME JUST PUT ON MY HEADSET HERE LET'S DO THIS, MAN 183 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:11,057 HERE WE GO OH, MY GOSH. HOW'S IT GOING, TARIQ? 184 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:16,296 >> Tariq: OH, PRETTY GOOD, PRETTY GOOD. >> Jimmy: ANY PLANS FOR THE 185 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:20,567 WEEKEND? >> Tariq: YEAH, YOU KNOW, I -- YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO GO SEE 186 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:25,138 "AVATAR" AND ALSO I HAVE TO DO SOME LAUNDRY >> Jimmy: OKAY 187 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:29,743 I'M LOGGING OFF. WOW. >> Tariq: COPY THAT. 188 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,745 >> Jimmy: WOW. THAT FELT SO REAL -- IT FELT LIKE I WAS REALLY TALKING TO 189 00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:34,547 YOU. >> Tariq: I KNOW YEAH 190 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,716 SAME HERE. >> Jimmy: IT WAS WILD. [ LAUGHTER ] 191 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,586 AMAZING. AMAZING TECHNOLOGY LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE. 192 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:43,623 IT'S FROM ERICA DALE "HEY, JIMMY, I SAW THE PROPERTY BROTHERS WERE ON THE SHOW LAST 193 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,092 NIGHT. CAN YOU HAVE THE PROPERTY BROTHERS SING THE RIGHTEOUS 194 00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:48,094 BROTHERS?" >> Steve: OH >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LOVE THE 195 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,296 RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE ARE THE PROPERTY BROTHERS 196 00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,798 SINGING "YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN'," BY THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS 197 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:55,101 RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS ENJOY. 198 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,673 * YOU NEVER CLOSE YOU 199 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:09,516 EYES * ANYMORE WHEN I KISS YOUR LIPS * * AND THERE'S NO TENDERNESS 200 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:19,793 LIKE BEFOR IN YOUR FINGERTIPS * * YOU'RE TRYING HAR 201 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:29,536 NOT TO SHOW IT BUT BABY BAB I KNOW IT * 202 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:38,611 * YOU LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN' WHOA THAT LOVIN' FEELIN' * 203 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:47,087 * YOU LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELIN' NOW IT'S GONE GONE GON 204 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:53,693 WHOA-OH * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WOW. 205 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:58,932 >> Steve: COME ON. >> Jimmy: THEY WERE FANTASTIC. PROPERTY BROTHERS. 206 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,434 >> Steve: THEY WERE DELIGHTFUL >> Jimmy: I THINK THEY MISSED THEIR CALLING. 207 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,203 THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING. I LOVE THAT. 208 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,372 >> Steve: VERY WELL DONE >> Jimmy: HERE'S ANOTHER SUGGESTION 209 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,774 THIS ONE'S FROM GWEN NOTH. "HEY, JIMMY, YOU NEVER SHOWED US THE VIRTUAL REALITY FOOTAGE 210 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:12,278 FROM THE INTERVIEW YOU JUST DID WITH TARIQ, JUST NOW." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 211 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,247 "CAN WE SEE IT." OH, YEAH WELL, WE COULDN'T SHOW IT TO 212 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,149 YOU EARLIER, BECAUSE OUR CAMERA SYSTEMS DON'T HAVE THE COMPUTING CAPACITY TO RENDER 213 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:19,686 THE GRAPHICS AT SUCH A HIGH FRAME RATE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 214 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,756 BUT NOW IT'S FULLY RENDERED. DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT? THIS IS THE ACTUAL - 215 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:27,694 >> Audience: YEAH. THIS IS THE ACTUAL VR FOOTAGE FROM ME AND TARIQ'S INTERVIEW 216 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,195 EARLIER. >> TARIQ, HELLO. [ LAUGHTER ] 217 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:33,466 HOW ARE YOU? >> OKAY, JIMMY >> WHAT DO YOUR WEEKEND 218 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,870 PLANS -- OKAY. >> I'M GOING TO SEE "AVATAR. LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY. 219 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:42,075 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: CAN'T GET OVER HOW 220 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:45,078 REAL -- IT FELT SO REAL -- HOW REAL IT LOOKED >> Steve: IT FELT LIKE META, 221 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,347 METAVERSE. >> Jimmy: AMAZING. AMAZING. 222 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,115 >> Steve: YEAH >> Jimmy: WE'RE DOWN TO OUR LAST SUGGESTION HERE 223 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,718 IT'S FROM NANCY BENNION. IT SAYS, "HEY, JIMMY, HELP SETTLE A BET 224 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,853 I THINK THE WEDNESDAY ADDAMS DANCE IS AWESOME BUT MY FRIEND LIKES THE CREEPY 225 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,990 ROBOT, M3GAN'S, DANCE MOVES BETTER CAN YOU HELP US FIGURE OUT, 226 00:15:56,990 --> 00:16:00,694 ONCE AND FOR ALL, WHO'S THE BETTER DANCER. I THINK WE CAN DO THAT 227 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,429 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR A DANCE-OFF BETWEEN WEDNESDAY ADDAMS AND M3GAN THE 228 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:11,938 ROBOT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * YEAH I CRUISE THROUGH 229 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:25,185 THE CITY AND I ROAM THE STREETS * * 230 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:30,857 * YOU BETTER DUCK WHEN I SHOW UP THE GOO GOO MUCK * 231 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:42,235 * * IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND * 232 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:46,806 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * OH-LA OH-LA AYY OH-LA OH-LA AY 233 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:51,177 ROLLING ROLLIN ROLL WITH KID 'N PLAY NOW * * ROLLING ROLLING 234 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:58,284 ROLL WITH KID 'N PLAY NO ROLLING ROLLING ROLL * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 235 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,354 >> Jimmy: COME ON, NOW THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR "AUDIENCE SUGGESTION BOX." 236 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,525 WE'RE TALKING WITH CHELSEA HANDLER, AFTER THE BREAK. 237 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:13,500 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 238 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,537 >> SHE SAID, "NO, I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IS HAPPENING BETWEEN THE SUN AND 239 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:23,843 HAPPENING BETWEEN THE SUN AND THE MOON." AND I WAS LIKE, "HONESTLY, I 240 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,958 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A A GRAMMY NOMINATED COMEDIAN, WHOSE LATEST STANDUP SPECIAL, 241 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:42,462 "REVOLUTION," IS NOW STREAMING GLOBALLY ON NETFLIX. PLEASE WELCOME, 242 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,932 PLEASE WELCOME, CHELSEA HANDLER! 243 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,268 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 244 00:17:48,268 --> 00:18:02,682 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, 245 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,317 CHELSEA HANDLER. COME ON. >> OH, MY GOD. 246 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:09,255 HI, YOU GUYS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY LOVE YOU. 247 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:16,229 >> HI, GUYS. LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME ARRAY OF MEN. 248 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:21,067 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE DO HAVE A A GOOD CREW. >> THERE'S A PARTY OVER THERE. 249 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,204 >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT IS. I WANT TO GET INTO "REVOLUTION," YOUR STANDUP 250 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,206 SPECIAL ON NETFLIX IT'S FANTASTIC BUT FIRST, WE HAVE THINGS TO 251 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,274 COVER. YOU'RE HOSTING THE CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS. 252 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,377 >> I AM. SUNDAY NIGHT WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THE VIBES 253 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,545 FUN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S FUN 254 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,314 >> I'M EXCITED YEAH I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE SAFER NOW 255 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,449 AROUND ME, SINCE I'VE BEEN TO THERAPY. THEY DON'T HAVE TO FEAR, YOU 256 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,351 KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NOT GOING TO GO IN THERE 257 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,086 AND STEWER PEOPLE. I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE A REALLY FUN NIGHT. 258 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,655 YOU DO IT REALLY WELL. >> Jimmy: YEAH, OH THANK YOU >> AND I'M JUST GOING TO COPY 259 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,058 WHAT YOU DO. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: PERFECT. 260 00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:48,061 THAT'S SUNDAY NIGHT THEN >> YEAH, SUNDAY NIGHT. CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS. 261 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:50,897 I'M REALLY EXCITED IT'S GOING TO BE FUN >> Jimmy: BUT THEN, ALSO, IF 262 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,533 YOU LOVE CHELSEA HANDLER LIKE I DO, YOU GET TO SEE MORE OF YOU YOU'RE ALSO GUEST HOSTING ON 263 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,236 "THE DAILY SHOW. >> OH, YES I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT TOO 264 00:18:56,236 --> 00:19:00,073 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE, THEY'RE 265 00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,809 LIKE, THAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT >> YEAH, I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE I NEED TO GO OFF ON IN A PUBLIC 266 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:08,915 FORUM, SO I'M GOING TO SAVE IT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SO I'M GONNA SAVE IT AND SKIP 267 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,785 THE CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS FOR THAT BECAUSE THESE ARE HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE 268 00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:14,187 YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE EVERYONE IS AND THEN I'M JUST GOING TO GO 269 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,690 FOR STRAIGHT THE JUGULAR WHEN I GET OVER TO "THE DAILY SHOW. >> Jimmy: WHEN YOU DO YOUR 270 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,092 SPECIAL, "REVOLUTION," BY THE WAY, WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. 271 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,494 YOU'RE VERY SPECIFIC YOU TALK ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY 272 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,031 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DO THEY GET UPSET? AND THEY GO, "HEY, WISH YOU 273 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:28,601 DIDN'T BRING THAT UP." >> NO, I GIVE THEM A WARNING NOW. 274 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,438 AS I'VE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS, IT'S MORE SENSITIVE OF ME TO TELL THEM THAT IT'S HAPPENING 275 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:37,777 BEFORE IT HAPPENS, BUT STILL DO IT [ LAUGHTER ] 276 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,747 AND LIKE I SAID TO MY NEPHEW, I SAID, "THIS TIME --" I HAVE A WHOLE RUN ABOUT HIM 277 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,350 >> Jimmy: IT'S SO FUNNY. >> AND I TOLD HIM WHEN HE CAME TO SEE ME PERFORM, I SAID, 278 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,653 "LISTEN, JAKEY --" HE'S MY FIRST BORN NEPHEW, SO, YOU KNOW, HE'S SENSITIVE TOO 279 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:52,125 AND I SAID, "THERE'S A BIT ABOUT YOU, AND IT'S NOT PLEAS -- 280 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,728 YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT FLATTERING. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND HE SAID, "OKAY." 281 00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:56,596 AND THEN HE SAW THE SHOW AND THEN AFTERWARDS, I SAID, "SO HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT 282 00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,598 THAT BECAUSE IF IT'S A REAL ISSUE, MAYBE WE CAN DISCUSS PRETENDING 283 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:04,137 TO TAKE IT OUT." AND HE WAS LIKE, "NO, EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS TRUE." 284 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,073 I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT WAY TO MAN UP. GREAT. 285 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:10,677 >> Jimmy: WOW, HE GREW UP A LITTLE BIT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 286 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,979 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: BUT YOU ALSO TALK ABOUT FAMILY 287 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:16,049 YOU POKE FUN AT YOURSELF A LOT IN THIS SPECIAL. I YOU TOLD SOME JOKES THAT I 288 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:20,186 LOVE BACKSTAGE BUT CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE ONE WHERE YOU WENT TO AFRICA 289 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:25,992 >> WELL, OKAY. THE REASON WHY -- I'M VERY OUTSPOKEN ABOUT NOT WANTING TO 290 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:30,030 BE A PARENT BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I HAVE THE SKILLS, THAT YOU KNOW - 291 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:33,433 I'M NOT EQUIPPED WITH WHAT IT TAKES TO ANSWER ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS TO CHILDREN, BECAUSE 292 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,270 THEY DON'T JUST ASK YOU ONCE THEY COME IN AND IN AND IN I HAVE ENOUGH NIECES AND 293 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:42,509 NEPHEWS TO KNOW THAT I DON'T HAVE A TOLERANCE FOR THAT KIND OF LINE OF QUESTIONS ABOUT 294 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:47,247 THINGS THAT I REALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW THE ANSWERS TO. AND AT A CERTAIN AGE, WHEN YOU 295 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,150 DON'T KNOW ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS, IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING TO ASK QUESTIONS, 296 00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:51,785 YOU KNOW YOU JUST HAVE TO PRETEND YOU KNOW 297 00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:53,853 AND I TALK ABOUT A STORY THAT I DIDN'T KNOW -- AND THIS IS TRUE 298 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:58,892 I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL I WAS 40 YEARS OLD THAT THE SUN AND THE MOON WERE NOT THE SAME 299 00:20:58,892 --> 00:21:05,131 THING. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I FOUND THIS HARD TO 300 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:08,835 BELIEVE. BUT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT >> IT WAS SHOCKING TO ME AS 301 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,370 WELL I MEAN - [ LAUGHTER ] 302 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,772 >> Jimmy: OF COURSE. IT MUST HAVE BEEN MORE SHOCKING TO YOU 303 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,942 >> I WAS LIKE -- I WAS IN AFRICA, WE WERE ON SAFARI. MY SISTER AND I WERE RIDING AN 304 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:19,546 ELEPHANT, AND THERE WAS A MAN RIDING AN ELEPHANT FOR US BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO 305 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:23,483 RIDE AN ELEPHANT AND MY OLDER SISTER, SIMONE, LOOKED UP AT THE SKY, AND SHE 306 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:26,219 SAID, "CHELSEA, LOOK UP. IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT YOU GET TO SEE THE SUN AND THE MOON AT THE 307 00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:34,094 SAME TIME. >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] 308 00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:37,497 >> AND I WAS LIKE -- I WAS LIKE SCOOBY DOO I'M LIKE - 309 00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,766 I SAID, "WAIT, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS TOGETHER. AND AS SOON AS I SAID THAT, SHE 310 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:45,105 TURNED AROUND AND SHE GOES, "WHAT DID YOU SAY? I WAS LIKE, "OH, SHUT UP, SHUT 311 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:48,742 UP, SHUT UP. [ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW WHAT I SAID I WAS WRONG 312 00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:52,779 >> Jimmy: GIDDY UP, ELEPHANT >> I WAS LIKE, "LET'S CANTER." IS THAT WHAT AN ELEPHANT DOES? 313 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:56,716 SHE LOOKED AT ME SHE GOES, "I NEED YOU -- AND I JUST TRIED TO GLOSS OVER 314 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,785 IT I WAS LIKE, "NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID 315 00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:01,654 I KNOW." AND SHE SAID, "NO, I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IS 316 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:08,428 HAPPENING BETWEEN THE SUN AND THE MOON." [ LAUGHTER ] 317 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,263 AND I WAS LIKE, "HONESTLY, I JUST ASSUMED WHEN THE SUN WENT DOWN, IT POPPED BACK UP AS THE 318 00:22:10,263 --> 00:22:16,302 MOON," YOU KNOW? [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: DID A LITTLE COSTUME 319 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:20,540 CHANGE >> I'M LIKE, "IS THAT NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING?" 320 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:24,177 THE MAN RIDING THE ELEPHANT SPOKE NO ENGLISH AND WENT -- [ LAUGHTER ] 321 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:28,314 AND HE'S JUST LIKE, "ANOTHER DUMB AMERICAN. YOU KNOW 322 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,817 >> Jimmy: YOU ALSO TALK ABOUT ALL YOUR DOGS. >> YEAH, YOU HAVE A DOG, GARY. 323 00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:33,119 I TALK ABOUT MY DOG, GARY. BUT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A DOG, GARY. 324 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,655 >> Jimmy: HOW BIG IS YOUR DOG, GARY >> WELL GARY, I KNOW ALSO 325 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:40,226 A REASON I SHOULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN IS BECAUSE I'VE RESCUED NINE DOGS IN MY LIFE 326 00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:42,729 THANK YOU. THAT'S SWEET THANK YOU, YEAH. 327 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:47,667 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH AND I'VE RETURNED FOUR 328 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:51,938 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: MY GOODNESS. >> AND GARY WAS A RETURN TO 329 00:22:51,938 --> 00:22:54,974 SENDER SO, I GOT A BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG. 330 00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:57,711 I WENT TO A DOG SHOW IN LONDON, AND I SAW A BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG. 331 00:22:57,711 --> 00:23:00,447 AND I HAVE A TYPE. I LIKE DOGS -- I DON'T WANT TO BE -- I DON'T LIKE OVERACTIVE 332 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,717 DOGS I LIKE THEM TO BE OVERWEIGHT AND LAZY 333 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:08,221 >> Jimmy: OKAY [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S YOUR TYPE OF DOG. 334 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,523 >> I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR HIKES, OR WALKS, OR ANY OF THAT REALLY 335 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:14,127 I JUST WANT TO GET HOME, YOU KNOW, SNUGGLE AT THE END OF A LONG DAY, AND THEN WHEN IT 336 00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:17,163 GETS TOO HOT BE LIKE, "GET THE HELL OFF ME. THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. 337 00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:21,434 SO, I GOT A DOG -- I SAW A A BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG AS YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE A 338 00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:23,970 A CELEBRITY, YOU CAN'T BUY DOGS YOU HAVE TO RESCUE ALL YOUR 339 00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:27,340 ANIMALS. YOU HAVE TO. OTHERWISE, PETA WILL BURN YOUR 340 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:31,711 HOUSE DOWN [ LAUGHTER ] I SAID TO MY ASSISTANT, "YOU 341 00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:39,586 NEED TO FIND ME A USED BERNESE MOUNTAIN DOG." AND HE -- IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. 342 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,988 SO, I ENDED UP BUYING THIS DOG, AND HE CAME INTO MY LIFE AND HE WAS A PUPPY, AND HE WAS 343 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:47,093 EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING I WAS LOOKING FOR HE ATE EVERYTHING. 344 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,129 HE JUMPED ON EVERYTHING. MY OTHER TWO DOGS MOVED UPSTAIRS AS SOON AS HE CAME 345 00:23:49,129 --> 00:23:51,164 HOME THEY DIDN'T COME DOWN FOR TWO DAYS 346 00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:53,566 THEY WERE LIKE, LET US KNOW WHEN GARY IS GONE. >> THEY DIDN'T WANT ANY PART OF 347 00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:55,869 IT YEAH SO, I HAD TO GIVE GARY TO 348 00:23:55,869 --> 00:23:59,472 ANOTHER PERSON, BECAUSE I COULDN'T HANDLE THE SITUATION. SO, I'M NOT -- AND I KNOW THAT 349 00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:04,177 YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH BABIES, YOU KNOW >> Jimmy: NO 350 00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:07,580 [ LAUGHTER ] >> ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A PUBLIC PERSON. 351 00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:10,050 YOU WOULD DEFINITELY GET CAUGHT [ LAUGHTER ] 352 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:12,585 >> Jimmy: BUT THERE'S A HAPPY ENDING FOR GARY. >> GARY LIVES WITH A WOMAN 353 00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:15,755 NAMED TERESA SHE SAYS I PAY FOR HIS CLOTHING AND EDUCATION -- 354 00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:19,826 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HIS CLOTHING >> YEAH, YEAH. 355 00:24:19,826 --> 00:24:23,630 HE'S A REALLY SMART DRESSER. WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR DOG, GARY? WHAT KIND OF DOG IS IT 356 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:27,467 >> Jimmy: IT'S A GOLDEN RETRIEVER, AND SHE'S JUST THE BEST, NICEST DOG 357 00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:31,838 MY DOG DOESN'T BARK. >> WHY IS HER NAME GARY? >> Jimmy: SHE WAS ON THE 358 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:34,140 SHOW -- SHE WAS AN ACTOR PUPPY >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: AND HER NAME WAS 359 00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:37,844 GARY WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GET A A FEMALE OR MALE DOG 360 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:39,713 >> OKAY. WELL, GREAT. WELL, EVERYTHING IS FLUID NOW 361 00:24:39,713 --> 00:24:41,348 ANYWAY SHE'S RIGHT ON TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] 362 00:24:41,348 --> 00:24:47,354 >> Jimmy: VERY TOPICAL DOG [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S TRUE, IT IS VERY -- 363 00:24:47,354 --> 00:24:51,524 BEFORE WE SHOW -- BEFORE WE SHOW A CLIP FROM YOUR SPECIAL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET THIS UP? 364 00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:53,927 >> OH, YES THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE. SO, MY BROTHER WAS SEEING MY 365 00:24:53,927 --> 00:24:56,763 SHOW YOU RUN THE SHOW SEVERAL -- A HUNDRED TIMES BEFORE YOU FILM 366 00:24:56,763 --> 00:25:02,035 IT FOR YOUR SPECIAL, USUALLY SO, MY BROTHER KEPT COMING TO SHOWS, MY OLDER BROTHER, ONE OF 367 00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:05,839 MY OLDER BROTHERS. AND HE SAID, HE GOES, "YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SIMONE, OUR 368 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:08,675 SISTER, A LOT IN YOUR ACT. AND I SAID, "ARE YOU JEALOUS?" HE GOES, "WELL, I MEAN, YOU 369 00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:11,511 SHOULD SHARE THE LOVE. I WAS LIKE, "OH, YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A JOKE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE 370 00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,713 I CAN? [ LAUGHTER ] AND THIS IS -- THIS IS THAT 371 00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:17,484 JOKE >> Jimmy: OKAY, HERE WE GO 372 00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:21,054 >> I WAS WITH MY BROTHER THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAID, "WHY ARE YOU EVEN A PARENT? 373 00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:22,922 [ LAUGHTER ] I SAID, "YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. 374 00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:28,895 [ LAUGHTER ] HE SAID, "CHELSEA, I HAD TO THINK ABOUT MY LEGACY. 375 00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:31,531 I SAID, "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO IS SOMEONE BEHIND ME 376 00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,600 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING - [ LAUGHTER ] YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOUR -- 377 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,870 WHO THE [ BLEEP ARE YOU TO THINK ABOUT YOUR LEGACY 378 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:39,939 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE - [ LAUGHTER ] THAT PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO SEE 379 00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:44,744 WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND ON THIS EARTH. YOUR LEGACY IS THAT YOU'RE MY 380 00:25:44,744 --> 00:25:49,883 [ BLEEP ] BROTHER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, COME ON! 381 00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:52,952 YOU WANT TO BE IN THE ACT? YOU WANT TO BE IN THE ACT, BUDDY? 382 00:25:52,952 --> 00:25:56,656 I'LL PUT YOU IN THE ACT. CHELSEA HANDLER, EVERYBODY "REVOLUTION" IS STREAMING NOW 383 00:25:56,656 --> 00:26:01,361 ON NETFLIX [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 384 00:26:01,361 --> 00:26:04,431 "TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. YOU WANT TO BE IN THE ACT? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 385 00:26:04,431 --> 00:26:33,693 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW AS 386 00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:38,565 TOM FROM "SUCCESSION." NOW -- YEAH. [ HOWLING 387 00:26:38,565 --> 00:26:42,502 [ CHEERS ] NOW, HE'S STARRING IN THE NEW MINISERIES, "STONEHOUSE," WHICH 388 00:26:42,502 --> 00:26:46,106 BEGINS STREAMING ON BRITBOX JANUARY 17th PLEASE WELCOME, 389 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,575 PLEASE WELCOME, MATTHEW MACFADYEN, EVERYBODY 390 00:26:50,844 --> 00:27:01,521 * 391 00:27:01,521 --> 00:27:05,325 >> Jimmy: MATTHEW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 392 00:27:05,325 --> 00:27:08,495 >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME >> Jimmy: IT IS -- IT IS GREAT TO HAVE YOU ON 393 00:27:08,495 --> 00:27:10,463 I'M A BIG FAN. I -- >> ME TOO. 394 00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:13,199 I MUST SAY - >> Jimmy: YEAH >> -- IT'S PARTICULARLY NICE TO 395 00:27:13,199 --> 00:27:16,503 BE ON, BECAUSE I'VE GOT A SOFT SPOT FOR THE SHOW. ONE OF MY KIDS, A FEW YEARS 396 00:27:16,503 --> 00:27:23,043 AGO, SENT ME A CLIP OF YOU AND BRADLEY COOPER IRRETRIEVABLY BREAKING -- BREAKING UP. 397 00:27:23,043 --> 00:27:25,779 >> Jimmy: LAUGHING SO HARD >> LIKE, YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT WAS -- WE CUT 398 00:27:25,779 --> 00:27:28,081 THAT DOWN ACTUALLY >> IT'S JUST JOYFUL. WELL, THE WHOLE SEGMENT. >> 399 00:27:28,081 --> 00:27:29,716 Jimmy: YOU SAW - THE WHOLE SEGMENT? WELL, WE ACTUALLY EVEN CUT THAT 400 00:27:29,716 --> 00:27:31,451 DOWN >> YOU WALKED AWAY, AT ONE POINT. 401 00:27:31,451 --> 00:27:33,653 >> Jimmy: WE LAUGHED FOR 25 MINUTES >> YEAH, YEAH. 402 00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:37,157 >> Jimmy: IT WAS TERRIBLE. IT WAS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 403 00:27:37,157 --> 00:27:39,125 VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. >> THERE'S ONE MOMENT, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE ON THE FLOOR, 404 00:27:39,125 --> 00:27:41,628 FACE DOWN. >> Jimmy: I'M WIPING MY TEARS. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 405 00:27:41,628 --> 00:27:43,930 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I KNOW, YEAH HE'S NOT -- HE'S BANNED FROM THE SHOW 406 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,565 YEAH, HE ACTUALLY IS [ LAUGHTER ] NOT ALLOWED BACK 407 00:27:45,565 --> 00:27:48,201 >> GOOD, BAN HIM >> Jimmy: YEAH, AND WE ONLY HAVE PROFESSIONAL ACTORS, NOW, 408 00:27:48,201 --> 00:27:49,936 ON THE SHOW. >> YEAH, THIS IS -- YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 409 00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,838 >> Jimmy: YOU WENT TO A VERY PRESTIGIOUS DRAMA SCHOOL IN THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF DRAMATIC ART, 410 00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:54,107 IN LONDON. >> I DID A LONG TIME AGO, YEAH. 411 00:27:54,107 --> 00:27:55,742 >> Jimmy: YES. WE ACTUALLY FOUND YOUR HEADSHOT - 412 00:27:55,742 --> 00:27:57,811 >> DID YOU >> Jimmy: -- FROM WHEN YOU WERE IN THAT -- YEAH. 413 00:27:57,811 --> 00:28:03,717 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TELL ME ABOUT THIS GUY WHAT WAS HE ALL ABOUT? 414 00:28:03,717 --> 00:28:07,087 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WOW. >> I LOOK -- I LOOK LIKE A SORT 415 00:28:07,087 --> 00:28:10,724 OF NERVOUS TARZAN. [ LAUGHTER ] I LOOK LIKE A WEIRD -- 416 00:28:10,724 --> 00:28:13,426 AND THERE'S SOME SIDEBURNS - >> Jimmy: YEAH >> -- GOING ON THERE 417 00:28:13,426 --> 00:28:15,395 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I LIKE HIS VIBE I LIKE HIS STYLE 418 00:28:15,395 --> 00:28:17,163 HE'S LIKE -- >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: HE -- HE WAS -- HE 419 00:28:17,163 --> 00:28:19,132 WAS GOING OUT. HE WANTED TO GET HIRED FOR ANYTHING 420 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:21,301 WHAT WAS HE WANTING TO DO? >> YEAH. IT'S A BIT LIKE, "PICK ME. 421 00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:23,069 NOT -- DON'T REALLY PICK ME. YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 422 00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:25,672 >> Jimmy: "PICK ME, BUT DON'T. >> DON'T -- YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH 423 00:28:25,672 --> 00:28:28,408 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DID -- THIS IS -- DID IT FEEL LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO 424 00:28:28,408 --> 00:28:30,176 NAIL IT AT THE TIME? DID YOU GO, "YEAH, I'VE GOT THIS?" 425 00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:32,045 >> NO. NO JUST TERROR -- JUST TOTAL 426 00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:36,716 UNCERTAINTY AND TERROR IT NEVER -- IT DOESN'T REALLY END, THAT FEELING. 427 00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:41,421 >> Jimmy: THIS GUY WENT -- [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] THIS GUY WENT TO WIN NUMEROUS 428 00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:43,723 EMMY AWARDS FOR "SUCCESSION. I MEAN, COME ON, HE'S BELOVED NOW. 429 00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:50,730 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BAFTA -- BAFTA WINNER. NOT TOO SHABBY 430 00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,333 I MEAN, MULTIPLE, MULTIPLE AWARDS I MEAN, HAS THIS -- HAS THIS 431 00:28:53,333 --> 00:28:57,270 GONE TO YOUR HEAD? >> UH, NO, IT'S SORT OF -- NO 432 00:28:57,270 --> 00:29:02,208 IT'S VERY NICE IT'S VERY NICE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 433 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,377 THE EMMY -- THE EMMY NIGHT WAS VERY SCARY >> Jimmy: WHY? 434 00:29:04,377 --> 00:29:07,781 JUST - >> JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE SORT OF NORMALIZING EVERYTHING ALL THE 435 00:29:07,781 --> 00:29:11,051 TIME AND TRYING NOT TO BE -- YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THERE'S BEN STILLER, AND THERE'S 436 00:29:11,051 --> 00:29:13,219 OPRAH WINFREY, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE IT NORMAL, AND ACTUALLY IT'S JUST HORRIFYING. 437 00:29:13,219 --> 00:29:15,755 >> Jimmy: YEAH HOW DOES -- HOW DOES - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 438 00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:17,390 >> REALLY SCARY, AND - >> Jimmy: HOW DOES THE CAST DEAL WITH YOU NOW THAT YOU'RE 439 00:29:17,390 --> 00:29:19,793 A MULTIPLE-AWARD WINNER? >> THEY DON'T SPEAK TO ME ANYMORE, WHICH IS -- 440 00:29:19,793 --> 00:29:21,428 - [ LAUGHTER ] - - FINE. THEY DON'T -- YEAH, YEAH 441 00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:23,396 NO, THEY'RE LOVELY THEY'RE LOVELY >> Jimmy: YEAH 442 00:29:23,396 --> 00:29:25,031 THEY DO? YEAH >> YEAH. 443 00:29:25,031 --> 00:29:27,033 >> Jimmy: HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE VOICE OF TOM? BECAUSE WE ALL NOTICED YOU'RE 444 00:29:27,033 --> 00:29:30,603 NOT AMERICAN >> WELL, YEAH. I'M NOT AN AMERICAN. 445 00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,639 >> Jimmy: NO [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> THAT GETS THE AWARD, RIGHT 446 00:29:32,639 --> 00:29:34,874 THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT GETS THE AWARD. 447 00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:39,479 UNBELIEVABLE >> YEAH. IT'S REALLY -- IT'S DIFFICULT. 448 00:29:39,479 --> 00:29:43,083 SARAH SNOOK, WHO'S AUSTRALIAN AND PLAYS SHIV, SHE AND I HAVE, SORT OF, ACCENT DAYS, WHERE 449 00:29:43,083 --> 00:29:46,152 WE'RE LIKE, "WE CAN'T DO THIS. WE JUST CAN'T DO IT. 'CAUSE EVERYTHING SOUNDS WEIRD 450 00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:49,522 NEW YORK IS VERY HARD TO SAY IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT >> Jimmy: HOW -- "NEW YORK?' 451 00:29:49,522 --> 00:29:51,491 >> YEAH, IT JUST KIND OF TURNS INTO SORT OF "NEW YORK, NYORK, N'YORK." 452 00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:54,327 IT'S LIKE A WHOLE -- [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE, IT'S REALLY -- LIKE, IT'S 453 00:29:54,327 --> 00:29:57,163 REALLY HARD. >> Jimmy: "LET'S GO -- GO TO N'YORK." 454 00:29:57,163 --> 00:30:00,066 >> "YEAH, GOING TO N'YORK. >> Jimmy: "LET'S GO TO N'YORK. >> "I'M AN AMERICAN, AND I GO 455 00:30:00,066 --> 00:30:02,435 TO N'YORK. >> Jimmy: "LIVE FROM N'YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. 456 00:30:02,435 --> 00:30:04,938 >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THAT'S RIGHT. 457 00:30:04,938 --> 00:30:07,140 BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN -- IF I LOOK -- BUT IF I LOOK AT THE -- IF, LIKE, I LOOK AT 458 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:10,310 NICK BRAUN, WHO PLAYS GREG, I SUDDENLY THINK, "OH, THERE'S GREG." 459 00:30:10,310 --> 00:30:14,881 AND IT'S ALL - IT'S JUST -- YEAH, HIS, SORT OF, FACE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO 460 00:30:14,881 --> 00:30:21,321 AND MY VOICE GOES VERY HIGH WITH SARAH, PARTLY THROUGH FEAR -- TOM'S FEAR OF SHIV 461 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:24,290 >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> SO, I START -- YEAH IT'S SORT OF -- IT'S VERY LIKE, 462 00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:28,328 "HONEY, HONEY, HONEY, NO, NO ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 463 00:30:28,328 --> 00:30:31,064 AND SO, THEN I SORT OF FIND MY -- YEAH >> Jimmy: YEAH 464 00:30:31,064 --> 00:30:33,466 >> FIND MY LEVEL, YEAH >> Jimmy: WELL DONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW 465 00:30:33,466 --> 00:30:36,536 MINISERIES ON BRITBOX. BRITBOX, BY THE WAY, YOU CAN DOWNLOAD ON ANYTHING YOU HAVE. 466 00:30:36,536 --> 00:30:41,875 APPLE TV OR WHATEVER IT IS IT'S A STREAMING SERVICE THIS IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY. 467 00:30:41,875 --> 00:30:44,411 ANYONE WHO'S NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOHN STONEHOUSE, CAN YOU SET THIS UP? 468 00:30:44,411 --> 00:30:47,447 >> SO, JOHN STONEHOUSE WAS A A BRITISH M.P., A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT, IN THE '60s AND 469 00:30:47,447 --> 00:30:49,749 '70s AND HE WAS KIND OF A RISING STAR IN THE LABOUR PARTY IN 470 00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:56,423 BRITAIN. AND THROUGH VARIOUS UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, HE HAS A TERRIBLE, 471 00:30:56,423 --> 00:31:02,328 COMPLICATED LOVE LIFE. AND HE GETS IN TERRIBLE FINANCIAL TROUBLE. 472 00:31:02,328 --> 00:31:07,901 AND HE'S SPYING BADLY FOR THE CZECH SECRET SERVICE AND, ANYWAY -- AND IT ALL 473 00:31:07,901 --> 00:31:11,738 BECOMES TOO MUCH FOR HIM AND HE DECIDES TO FAKE HIS OWN DEATH. 474 00:31:11,738 --> 00:31:14,341 >> Jimmy: SO HE FAKES HIS OWN DEATH. >> YEAH, HE LEAVES HIS WIFE AND 475 00:31:14,341 --> 00:31:16,209 CHILDREN, AND HE FLIES TO MIAMI ON A BUSINESS TRIP, ON A A SO-CALLED BUSINESS TRIP. 476 00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:19,446 AND HE SWIMS -- LEAVES HIS CLOTHES ON THE BEACH, AND A PASSPORT ON TOP OF HIS 477 00:31:19,446 --> 00:31:24,751 CLOTHES, AND SWIMS INTO THE SEA. AND THEN SWIMS ALONG THE COAST 478 00:31:24,751 --> 00:31:28,688 A BIT, AND COMES OUT, AND THEN FLIES TO AUSTRALIA [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 479 00:31:28,688 --> 00:31:31,624 >> Jimmy: YEAH OH, IN AUSTRALIA >> ON A FAKE -- WITH A FAKE 480 00:31:31,624 --> 00:31:33,626 PASSPORT WITH A NEW IDENTITY IN THE DAYS WHEN IT WAS EASIER TO FAKE YOUR OWN DEATH, HE DOES 481 00:31:33,626 --> 00:31:37,297 IT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, IF-- 482 00:31:37,297 --> 00:31:42,002 WE ALL KNOW. WE ALL CAN RELATE TO THAT. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 483 00:31:42,002 --> 00:31:43,636 >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE, YEAH >> SO -- AND I DIDN'T KNOW 484 00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:45,271 ANYTHING ABOUT THIS GUY. SO, IT WAS JUST A FASCINATING, BONKERS STORY. 485 00:31:45,271 --> 00:31:47,574 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> AMAZING >> Jimmy: BUT YOUR -- YOUR WIFE 486 00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:52,612 IN REAL LIFE, KEELEY HAWES - >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: -- PLAYS YOUR WIFE IN 487 00:31:52,612 --> 00:31:54,581 THE SHOW >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: IS THAT DIFFICULT TO 488 00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:56,750 DO, OR --? >> IT WAS LOVELY >> Jimmy: IT WAS GREAT 489 00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:58,952 >> IT WAS LOVELY, YEAH IT WAS REALLY GOOD IT WAS SO NICE 490 00:31:58,952 --> 00:32:00,920 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YEAH. I MEAN, YEAH, THEY HAVE AN ODD 491 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,422 RELATIONSHIP IN THE SHOW, AND SHE SORT OF SEES THROUGH HIS SHENANIGANS. 492 00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:05,291 BUT IT WAS JUST GREAT TO PLAY. IT WAS NICE. >> Jimmy: YEAH 493 00:32:05,291 --> 00:32:07,594 WELL, YOU SAID BEFORE THAT YOUR KIDS HAVE NEVER -- NO REAL WANT TO SEE - 494 00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:11,631 >> -- DESIRE TO SEE US ON THE SCREEN, EVER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 495 00:32:11,631 --> 00:32:15,802 NO, REALLY [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT EVEN -- EVEN 496 00:32:15,802 --> 00:32:18,204 AFTER THE AWARDS THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN AND EVERYTHING? >> NOT REALLY. 497 00:32:18,204 --> 00:32:19,939 NO >> Jimmy: BUT THEN YOU SAID, "WELL, MAYBE WHEN THEY'RE 498 00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:22,876 TEENAGERS, THEY'LL GET INTO IT." >> Jimmy: YES. 499 00:32:22,876 --> 00:32:24,844 >> YEAH, NO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THEY ARE TEENAGERS 500 00:32:24,844 --> 00:32:27,714 >> THEY ARE. >> Jimmy: AND THEY STILL DON'T >> THEY'RE LIKE 18 AND 16. 501 00:32:27,714 --> 00:32:29,783 AND THEY -- THEY HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WATCH. >> Jimmy: WHAT DO THEY WATCH 502 00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,951 >> THERE'S A LOT OF -- THERE'S A LOT -- OTHER STUFF I DON'T KNOW, YEAH 503 00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:34,487 >> Jimmy: ANYTHING BUT YOU >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THEY DON'T WANT TO 504 00:32:34,487 --> 00:32:36,790 SEE MOM AND DAD? >> NOT REALLY. >> Jimmy: NO, OKAY, YEAH 505 00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:38,425 WELL, THEY SHOULD WATCH "STONEHOUSE," BECAUSE MOM AND DAD ARE REALLY GOOD IN IT. 506 00:32:38,425 --> 00:32:40,593 >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT, YEAH 507 00:32:40,593 --> 00:32:43,329 >> YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: PLEASE WATCH - 508 00:32:43,329 --> 00:32:44,798 DOWNLOAD BRITBOX AND GET WATCHING [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 509 00:32:44,798 --> 00:32:46,833 I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP HERE'S MATTHEW MACFADYEN AND KEELEY HAWES IN "STONEHOUSE. 510 00:32:46,833 --> 00:32:49,736 KEELEY HAWES IN "STONEHOUSE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 511 00:32:58,144 --> 00:33:03,450 * 512 00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:15,895 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [ DOOR SHUTTING >> IT'S PRIVATE. 513 00:33:15,895 --> 00:33:22,469 >> I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE SECRETS FROM ONE ANOTHER >> IT'S SOMETHING FOR YOUR 514 00:33:22,469 --> 00:33:34,814 BIRTHDAY >> BUT THAT'S TWO MONTHS AWAY. * 515 00:33:34,814 --> 00:33:38,651 HM * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 516 00:33:38,651 --> 00:33:41,254 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT COME ON. MATTHEW MACFADYEN, EVERYBODY 517 00:33:41,254 --> 00:33:46,292 "STONEHOUSE" PREMIERES ON BRITBOX, JANUARY 17th. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 518 00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:50,330 STAND-UP FROM RALPH BARBOSA. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 519 00:33:50,330 --> 00:34:13,586 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST STARS IN THE COMEDY SPECIAL, "ENTRE 520 00:34:13,586 --> 00:34:17,757 NOS: THE WINNERS 3," AVAILABLE NOW ON HBO MAX MAKING HIS LATE NIGHT DEBUT, 521 00:34:17,757 --> 00:34:19,893 PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY RALPH BARBOSA. 522 00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:34,240 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> THANK YOU 523 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:38,411 THANK YOU. IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO BE HERE MAKING MY LATE NIGHT DEBUT, 524 00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:41,915 YES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE MY 525 00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:46,286 GRANDMOTHER, WHO RAISED ME, SHE'S A HUGE FAN OF COMEDY IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD HER THAT 526 00:34:46,286 --> 00:34:50,090 ONE DAY I'D BE HERE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JIMMY FALLON," SHE PROBABLY 527 00:34:50,090 --> 00:34:54,361 WOULD HAVE SAID, "QUE?" BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW ENGLISH [ LAUGHTER ] 528 00:34:54,361 --> 00:34:59,632 I LOVE LIVING AT MY GRANDMA'S. WHEN YOU'RE BEING RAISED BY AN OLD WOMAN WHO DOESN'T SPEAK 529 00:34:59,632 --> 00:35:03,036 ENGLISH, YOU GROW UP WITH ZERO CONSEQUENCES [ LAUGHTER ] 530 00:35:03,036 --> 00:35:08,908 LIKE, I USED TO GET PHONE CALLS FROM SCHOOL. BUT WHO DO YOU THINK SHE NEEDED 531 00:35:08,908 --> 00:35:12,612 TO TRANSLATE THESE CALLS [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S RIGHT 532 00:35:12,612 --> 00:35:21,154 I RAN THAT HOUSE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ANYTIME ANYBODY CALLED THE 533 00:35:21,154 --> 00:35:25,091 HOUSE SPEAKING ENGLISH, SHE'D PUT THE HOUSE PHONE ON SPEAKER, AND SHE WOULD BE LIKE, "WHO IS 534 00:35:25,091 --> 00:35:30,330 IT WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?" AND I'D ACT LIKE I'M LISTENING 535 00:35:30,330 --> 00:35:33,933 REALLY HARD. AND I WOULD BE LIKE, "MAN, GRANDMA, THEY'RE TALKING REALLY 536 00:35:33,933 --> 00:35:35,802 FAST IT'S KIND OF HARD TO UNDERSTAND, BUT THEY'RE SAYING 537 00:35:35,802 --> 00:35:39,072 SOMETHING ABOUT -- PROOF OF RESIDENCY?" [ LAUGHTER ] 538 00:35:39,072 --> 00:35:46,413 SHE'S LIKE, "HANG UP." I'M LIKE, "IF YOU SAY SO." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 539 00:35:46,413 --> 00:35:51,651 I LIVED WITH MY MOM FOR A WHILE TOO, AND SHE WAS COOL. SHE NEVER REALLY KEPT MY DAD 540 00:35:51,651 --> 00:35:54,487 AROUND, BUT SHE ALWAYS KEPT FATHER FIGURES AROUND. [ LAUGHTER ] 541 00:35:54,487 --> 00:35:58,425 [ AUDIENCE OHS ] I ACTUALLY RAN INTO MY MOM'S EX-BOYFRIEND THE OTHER DAY 542 00:35:58,425 --> 00:36:02,362 HE'S DOING REALLY GOOD HE WAS RIGHT -- WE -- WE WERE HOLDING HIM BACK 543 00:36:02,362 --> 00:36:12,539 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE HE HAS A CAR NOW [ LAUGHTER ] 544 00:36:12,539 --> 00:36:16,576 I APPROACHED HIM I HAD TO I WAS LIKE, "DUDE, IF THIS IS 545 00:36:16,576 --> 00:36:20,847 WHAT GETTING AWAY FROM MY MOM LOOKS LIKE, I'M READY, MAN." [ LAUGHTER ] 546 00:36:20,847 --> 00:36:26,052 I RECENTLY BECAME A FATHER, HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 547 00:36:26,052 --> 00:36:31,224 THANK YOU. YEAH, IT'S GREAT BUT IT'S ALSO VERY SCARY HAVING 548 00:36:31,224 --> 00:36:35,929 A BABY AT A YOUNG AGE. I FEEL LIKE I'M A NEW EMPLOYEE WHO JUST GOT PUT TO TRAIN AN 549 00:36:35,929 --> 00:36:41,401 EVEN NEWER EMPLOYEE. [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST LOOK AT MY SON LIKE, "I 550 00:36:41,401 --> 00:36:43,236 DON'T -- I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE THAT LONG, MAN. 551 00:36:43,236 --> 00:36:46,840 [ LAUGHTER ] "I COULD SHOW YOU WHERE WE EAT THAT'S ABOUT IT. 552 00:36:46,840 --> 00:37:01,488 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE BUT IT IS AMAZING WATCHING 'EM 553 00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:06,292 LEARN THINGS AND GROW. LIKE, HE'S WALKING NOW HE KNOWS HOW TO ASK FOR FOOD 554 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:10,363 I WAS LIKE, "DANG. I'VE TAUGHT YOU ALL I CAN, SON " [ LAUGHTER ] 555 00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:18,238 "FROM HERE ON OUT, WE LEARN TOGETHER." [ LAUGHTER ] 556 00:37:18,238 --> 00:37:22,709 I LIKE BUYING HIM LOTS OF SNEAKERS, 'CAUSE I'M BIG ON SNEAKERS 557 00:37:22,709 --> 00:37:25,111 LAST MONTH, I WENT A LITTLE CRAZY. I BOUGHT US, LIKE, EIGHT PAIRS 558 00:37:25,111 --> 00:37:27,047 OF SHOES FOUR FOR ME. FOUR FOR MY BABY BOY 559 00:37:27,047 --> 00:37:31,351 HE DOESN'T FIT INTO A SIZE 9 YET, SO I WEAR HIS HALF FOR NOW, BUT - 560 00:37:31,351 --> 00:37:33,520 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I LOVE BEING A DAD HE DOES EMBARRASS ME SOME TIMES 561 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,690 IN PUBLIC. LIKE, WE GO TO THE MALL TOGETHER A LOT, AND HE'LL BE 562 00:37:36,690 --> 00:37:39,426 WALKING NEXT TO ME AND HE STARES AT EVERYBODY WE WALK PAST. 563 00:37:39,426 --> 00:37:41,461 AND WHENEVER HE SEES A REALLY PRETTY GIRL, HE'LL LET GO OF MY HAND, WALK UP TO THE GIRL, AND 564 00:37:41,461 --> 00:37:47,067 ASK HER TO CARRY HIM [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND I HAVE TO BE LIKE, "HEY, 565 00:37:47,067 --> 00:37:51,671 I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. I THINK MY SON JUST WANTS US TO GO OUT FOR DRINKS. 566 00:37:51,671 --> 00:38:03,149 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I RECENTLY MOVED OUT FROM HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. 567 00:38:03,149 --> 00:38:06,419 I GOT MY FIRST APARTMENT, YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU. 568 00:38:06,419 --> 00:38:10,690 IT'S A -- IT'S A SMALL APARTMENT, BUT I LOVE IT I'M VERY PROUD OF IT 569 00:38:10,690 --> 00:38:14,027 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SHOW IT OFF, MOSTLY TO GET GIRLS TO NOTICE ME. 570 00:38:14,027 --> 00:38:19,432 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LIKE, EVERYWHERE I GO, I TAKE MY LEASE WITH ME NOW 571 00:38:19,432 --> 00:38:22,168 [ LAUGHTER ] JUST LET IT HANG OUT MY POCKET A LITTLE BIT 572 00:38:22,168 --> 00:38:25,872 THE OTHER DAY I ACTED LIKE I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED IT BY A A GIRL 573 00:38:25,872 --> 00:38:28,742 SHE PICKED IT UP SHE WAS LIKE, "HEY, YOU DROPPED THIS PIECE OF PAPER. 574 00:38:28,742 --> 00:38:34,180 I WAS LIKE, "OH, MAN, DID I DROP MY 13-MONTH LEASE?" [ LAUGHTER ] 575 00:38:34,180 --> 00:38:37,684 LIKE, "YOU KEEP THAT THAT'S YOU RIGHT THERE." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 576 00:38:37,684 --> 00:38:43,156 NAH, TO BE 100% HONEST, I DO WANT THE APARTMENT TO GET GIRLS TO NOTICE ME, BUT AFTER THAT 577 00:38:43,156 --> 00:38:47,627 DEPOSIT, AND THAT ONE FURNITURE I BOUGHT - [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 578 00:38:47,627 --> 00:38:51,898 I DON'T REALLY HAVE MONEY LEFT FOR DATING LIKE, I'VE APPROACHED ONE GIRL 579 00:38:51,898 --> 00:38:54,734 AT A BAR I WAS LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'S UP? WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? 580 00:38:54,734 --> 00:38:58,071 SHE WAS LIKE, "A CROWN AND COKE." I WAS LIKE, "NICE. 581 00:38:58,071 --> 00:39:04,577 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THAT WAS AS FAR AS I COULD AFFORD TO GO 582 00:39:04,577 --> 00:39:09,082 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THEN I TOLD MYSELF, "I SHOULDN'T OVERTHINK IT." 583 00:39:09,082 --> 00:39:13,887 SO, I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT I'M A GO FOR IT. AND I SAID, "COULD YOU BUY ME 584 00:39:13,887 --> 00:39:16,923 ONE TOO, PLEASE? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'M RALPH BARBOSA. 585 00:39:16,923 --> 00:39:23,263 THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 586 00:39:23,263 --> 00:39:25,365 >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT 587 00:39:25,365 --> 00:39:29,336 RALPH BARBOSA! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "ENTRE NOS: THE WINNERS 3" IS 588 00:39:29,336 --> 00:39:35,041 AVAILABLE NOW ON HBO MAX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY RALPH BARBOSA. 589 00:39:35,041 --> 00:40:00,200 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO 590 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:05,005 CHELSEA HANDLER, MATTHEW MACFADYEN. RALPH BARBOSA, ONCE AGAIN 591 00:40:05,005 --> 00:40:08,842 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM 592 00:40:08,842 --> 00:40:12,779 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA THANK YOU FOR WATCHING STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH 593 00:40:12,779 --> 00:40:15,849 SETH MEYERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. BYE-BYE.