1 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,615 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART 2 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:22,622 OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." 3 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:26,793 TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS GUESTS - LESLIE JONES 4 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:31,264 GIANCARLO ESPOSITO MUSICAL GUEST ALVVAYS. AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY 5 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:37,937 ROOTS CREW >> Questlove: 1774 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, 6 00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:45,879 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 7 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:58,825 * 8 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:08,435 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS. 9 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:13,573 YEAH, I LOVE YOU, BUD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ENJOY YOURSELF 10 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:19,079 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW," EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,849 YOU'RE HERE. IT SEEMS LIKE THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON RIGHT NOW 12 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:25,251 PRINCE HARRY'S NEW BOOK CAME OUT TODAY. THE HORROR MOVIE "M3GAN" IS 13 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:33,560 A HIT AT THE BOX OFFICE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] TONIGHT'S MEGA MILLIONS JACKPOT 14 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,629 IS OVER $1.1 BILLION AND PAPA JOHN'S JUST UNVEILED THESE NEW DOUGHY SNACK BALLS 15 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:41,434 CALLED PAPA BITES. [ LAUGHTER ] THERE'S A LOT TO GO OVER 16 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,971 SO LET'S JUMP IN AND COVER IT ALL AT ONCE. IT'S TIME FOR A "NEWS SMASH. 17 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:45,005 ALL AT ONCE. IT'S TIME FOR A "NEWS SMASH. 18 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:51,945 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 19 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,446 >> Jimmy: FIRST UP, PRINCE HARRY. TODAY, HIS NEW BOOK CALLED 20 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,916 "SPARE" HIT SHELVES. AND IT'S FULL OF DETAILS ABOUT HIS LIFE, HIS RELATIONSHIPS, 21 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,719 AND HIS EXIT FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY LONG STORY SHORT, EVERYTHING 22 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:03,757 CHANGED WHEN HE MARRIED -- M3GAN. THE -- 23 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:11,297 [ LAUGHTER ] THE HORROR MOVIE IS DOING GREAT AT THE BOX OFFICE, BRINGING IN 24 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:16,536 OVER $30 MILLION IT'S MADE SO MUCH MONEY, THE PRODUCERS FEEL LIKE THEY WON - 25 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:19,706 THE LOTTERY. [ LAUGHTER ] TONIGHT'S MEGA MILLIONS JACKPOT 26 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:24,077 WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST OF ALL TIME OVER $1.1 BILLION. 27 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,247 WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF - DOUGH. [ LAUGHTER ] 28 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,750 PAPA JOHN'S USES IT TO MAKE THEIR NEW SNACK CALLED PAPA BITES, BUT DON'T EAT TOO MANY. 29 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:35,321 YOU ONLY HAVE ONE HEART. YOU DON'T HAVE A - "SPARE." 30 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,624 [ LAUGHTER ] THE BOOK TALKS ABOUT HOW HARRY DIDN'T GET ALONG WITH HIS 31 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:41,227 BROTHER, HIS STEPMOTHER, OR HIS -- PAPA 32 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:44,097 [ LAUGHTER ] SERIOUSLY. DON'T OVERDO IT ON THOSE LITTLE 33 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,732 BITES. THEY'RE SO HIGH IN CALORIES THEY COULD - 34 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:49,636 KILL YOU [ LAUGHTER ] "M3GAN" IS A TERRIFYING DOLL, 35 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:53,473 KIND OF LIKE ANNABELLE OR CHUCKY, THE -- REDHEAD. 36 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:56,643 [ LAUGHTER ] HARRY DIDN'T HAVE JUST ONE REASON TO LEAVE ENGLAND, IT WAS 37 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:59,813 MORE LIKE -- A BILLION. [ LAUGHTER ] 38 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,549 AND THAT'S -- THAT'S ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE LIKE A - PRINCE 39 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:05,385 [ LAUGHTER ] HARRY IS SPEAKING OUT AGAINST HIS POWERFUL FAMILY. 40 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,921 AND YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT, THAT TAKES -- BALLS. 41 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:11,091 [ LAUGHTER ] THESE TREATS MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FOR SOME PEOPLE. 42 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,127 BUT STONERS ARE LOOKING AT THEM LIKE - JACKPOT! 43 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:18,932 [ LAUGHTER ] IN CONCLUSION, SO MUCH TO TELL WILL IT SELL 44 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,569 WHAT'S THAT SMELL? RUN LIKE HELL. [ LAUGHTER ] 45 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:29,075 THIS HAS BEEN A "NEWS SMASH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 46 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:34,914 OH, MY GOODNESS. THANK YOU, EVERYBODY EVERYONE IS TALK ABOUT THIS. 47 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,750 PRESIDENT BIDEN'S LAWYERS WERE CLEANING OUT ONE OF HIS OLD OFFICES FROM RIGHT BEFORE HE 48 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,787 WAS PRESIDENT. AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT THEY FOUND THAT BIDEN 49 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:46,393 HAD TEN CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS [ AUDIENCE OOHS THE DOCUMENTS FOUND WERE FROM 50 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:50,964 BIDEN'S TIME AS VICE PRESIDENT TODAY, OBAMA WAS LIKE, "NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT 51 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:55,669 IF JOE HAD ACCESS, IT WASN'T IMPORTANT. [ LAUGHTER ] 52 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,172 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT YEP, BIDEN WAS SHOCKED AND SAID HE HAD NO IDEA HOW THE 53 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:05,045 DOCUMENTS GOT THERE. THEN HUNTER BIDEN WAS LIKE, "OKAY, SO DON'T GET MAD. 54 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:09,549 [ LAUGHTER ] OF COURSE, FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP WASTED NO TIME WEIGHING 55 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:12,118 IN HE GOT ON HIS SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM AND POSTED, "WHEN IS 56 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:18,958 THE FBI GOING TO RAID THE MANY HOMES OF JOE BIDEN PERHAPS EVEN THE WHITE HOUSE?" 57 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:22,128 GOOD POINT IT WOULD BE SUSPICIOUS IF CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS WERE FOUND 58 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:28,501 AT THE WHITE HOUSE [ LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF THE WHITE HOUSE, 59 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,236 THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS CONSIDERING A NATIONWIDE BAN ON GAS STOVES, WHICH HAS BEEN 60 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:36,843 LINKED TO HEALTH PROBLEMS. TODAY, AMERICANS WERE LIKE, "BETTER PLAY IT SAFE AND ORDER 61 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:43,083 A BACONATOR FROM DOOR DASH." [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, GAS STOVES COULD BE BANNED 62 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:47,487 SOON THE BEST WAY TO HEAT SOMETHING UP WILL BE TO OPEN THREE APPS 63 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:51,758 ON YOUR iPHONE AT ONCE AND USE IT AS A HOT PLATE. [ LAUGHTER ] 64 00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:54,928 THAT SEAR YOU WANT THAT'S RIGHT, GAS STOVES ARE A A PROBLEM, BUT DEEP FRYING A 65 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:58,098 A TURKEY IS STILL PERFECTLY LEGAL. I DON'T KNOW 66 00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:02,802 [ LAUGHTER ] GUYS, THE HORROR MOVIE "M3GAN" IS THE BIGGEST NEW MOVIE OUT IN 67 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:06,072 THEATERS IN FACT, IT'S SUCH A HUGE HIT, THEY'RE ALREADY WORKING ON A 68 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:09,275 A SEQUEL YEAH TAKE A LOOK AT THE TRAILER I 69 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:09,642 TAKE A LOOK AT THE TRAILER I JUST SAW 70 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:11,544 IS "M3GAN. 71 00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:15,348 AND NEXT YEAR, BE SURE TO CATCH THE HEART-STOPPING SEQUEL. "M2GAN." 72 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:19,185 OR "M3GAN 2. OR IS IT "M23GAN." "M32GAN. 73 00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:22,455 "M2G3N." "2GM3N." EH, SCREW IT 74 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:28,161 GO SEE "MURDER DOLL 2. COM1N9 5OON! OH, COME ON! 75 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,163 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: WELL, SWITCHING GEARS, I READ THAT BABIES "R" 76 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:40,273 US, WHICH WENT OUT OF BUSINESS IN 2018, IS OPENING A NEW FLAGSHIP MALL STORE. 77 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,677 WHICH IS CRAZY, BECAUSE THE MALL DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS EXPECTING A BABIES "R" US. 78 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:48,214 [ LAUGHTER ] CLASSIC STORY. YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY IS DONE 79 00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:51,117 HAVING BABIES "R" US, AND THEN A FEW YEARS LATER, YOU'RE READY TO TRY FOR MORE. 80 00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:55,255 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] WELL, LISTEN TO THIS A NEW STUDY FOUND THAT EATING 81 00:05:55,255 --> 00:06:01,594 HEALTHIER CAN INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF LIVING LONGER [ LAUGHTER ] 82 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,797 THAT'S NOT ALL THEY FIGURED OUT, THOUGH. CHECK OUT SOME OF THESE OTHER 83 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:10,904 NEW SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS. FIRST UP, FIRE HOT [ LAUGHTER ] 84 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,640 NEXT, IF YOU STAY UNDER WATER FOR TOO LONG, YOU COULD "DROWN." 85 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,243 [ LAUGHTER ] AND FINALLY, IF YOU PLAY THE SONG "JUMP AROUND" BY HOUSE OF 86 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:22,716 PAIN, IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, THEY WILL START JUMPING AROUND [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 87 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,484 MEANWHILE, I SAW A NEW STUDY THAT SAID NOISE FROM A SHIP CAN DISRUPT CRABS WHILE THEY'RE 88 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:31,458 TRYING TO MATE OR AS CRABS CALL IT, GETTING YACHT BLOCKED. 89 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:38,331 [ LAUGHTER ] APPARENTLY, ALL SEA LIFE IS KNOCKING ON THE BOTTOM OF BOATS 90 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:42,502 LIKE, "HEY, WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE CAVIAR HERE!" [ LAUGHTER ] 91 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:45,972 YEAH, IT'S THINGS LIKE THIS THAT CAN MAKE A SEA CREATURE'S SEX LIFE FLOUNDER, YOU KNOW? 92 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:51,678 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CYMBAL CRASH ] >> Steve: MORE 93 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,080 >> Jimmy: ONE MORE >> Steve: OKAY ONE MORE 94 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,116 >> Jimmy: OF COURSE, WHEN CRABS DO MATE, THE MOST EMBARRASSING PART IS THE NEXT DAY, THEY HAVE 95 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:59,419 TO DO THE SIDEWAYS WALK OF SHAME. [ LAUGHTER ] 96 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,722 [ APPLAUSE ] I HAD TO DO THAT ONE COME ON. 97 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:07,627 THAT'S NEVER - >> Steve: NO, YEAH >> Jimmy: GET THIS 98 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,529 IN LONDON, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE PANDEMIC, DOZENS OF PEOPLE RODE THE TRAIN WITHOUT 99 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:16,169 PANTS FOR THE NO TROUSERS TUBE RIDE YEP. 100 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,539 DOZENS OF PEOPLE RODE THE TRAIN WITHOUT PANTS, OR, AS IT'S CALLED IN NEW YORK, TUESDAY. 101 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:25,211 HEY! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE AND FINALLY BEFORE WE MOVE ON, 102 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:28,181 I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK SOME OF OUR SPONSORS FOR TONIGHT'S SHOW 103 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:32,452 THEY DON'T ALWAYS FIT IN COMMERCIAL BREAKS, AND WE WANT TO MAKE SURE WE MENTION ALL OF 104 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,354 THEM IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS." 105 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:34,387 IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS." 106 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,791 * * TONIGHT SHO 107 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:43,063 SPONSORS TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS * * 108 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:48,635 >> Jimmy: NOW AND LATER, CANDY YOU WANT NEITHER NOW NOR LATER [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 109 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:54,074 BRITA FILTER, AT LEAST KEEP THE PITCHER AND USE THAT [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 110 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:58,345 AIRBNB, 80% RELAXING 20% THINKING SOMEONE IS SPYING ON YOU 111 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:03,149 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE KETTLE BRAND CHIPS, FOR WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY AND ALSO WANT TO 112 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:09,022 PUNISH THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE MOTEL 6, WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN 113 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:15,195 AFFAIR, RUNNING FROM THE COPS, OR BOTH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 114 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:22,402 ESPN, WE ALSO DON'T KNOW WHAT OUR INITIALS STAND FOR [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 115 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:25,472 CARNIVAL CRUISE. CATCH THE NEWEST COVID VARIANTS MONTHS BEFORE THEIR INITIAL 116 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:31,077 RELEASE DATE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE KRAFT SINGLES, EVER WANTED TO 117 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:38,785 EAT A POST-IT NOTE [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE PATAGONIA, FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO 118 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:44,591 LOOK LIKE YOU GO OUTSIDE, WITHOUT GOING OUTSIDE. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 119 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:51,064 BISQUICK, WHEN YOU WANT TO MAKE PANCAKES FROM THE SAME BOX ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS 120 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:55,402 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE OMAHA STEAKS, SOMEBODY SENT US TO YOU BECAUSE YOU MADE 121 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,805 A MODERATELY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS DEAL. [ APPLAUSE ] 122 00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,408 AND FINALLY, SOUTHWEST, YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO 123 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,044 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THAT'S ALL FOR "TONIGHT SHOW SPONSORS." 124 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:08,314 WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW LESLIE JONES IS HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 125 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,484 GIANCARLO ESPOSITO IS ON THE SHOW [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 126 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,220 AND WE GOT MUSIC FROM ALVVAYS, TONIGHT! STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT 127 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:25,699 BACK WITH LESLIE JONES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 128 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:29,636 >> Jimmy: YOU HAD A MEDIUM MAYBE OR PSYCHIC >> YES 129 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:33,340 >> Jimmy: BUT WHAT THEY DO IS, THEY SEE WHO YOUR SOULMATE IT AND THEY DRAW THEM 130 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,609 >> YEAH. MAN, DID YOU GET THE PICTURE [ LAUGHTER ] 131 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:42,415 DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE MAN THAT'S GOING TO SURVIVE ANY TYPE OF NIGHT WITH ME? 132 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,219 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO. 133 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,256 ABOUT? >> NO. PLEASE LEAVE MY AMAZON PACKAGE 134 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:58,865 ON THE STEP. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A 135 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:03,470 A TALENTED ACTRESS AND COMEDIENNE WHO WILL BE THE FIRST GUEST HOST OF "THE DAILY 136 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:07,073 SHOW" WHEN IT RETURNS NEXT TUESDAY ON COMEDY CENTRAL. PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS 137 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,441 PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS ENTERTAINING LESLIE JONES. 138 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,243 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 139 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:26,993 * >> Jimmy: COME ON. >> OH, MY GOD. 140 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:30,597 >> Jimmy: COME ON. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC >> HOW Y'ALL DOING 141 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,767 HI, QUEST. HI - >> Jimmy: OH 142 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,169 >> I LOVE YOU. >> Jimmy: WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME BACK 143 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:39,339 WELCOME BACK THANKS FOR COMING ON >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME 144 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,307 >> Jimmy: WE HAVE LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. >> YES 145 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,610 >> Jimmy: ONE THING I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT, IS JUST -- YOU JUST CAME BACK FROM -- 146 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:47,547 YOU LOOK FANTASTIC [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW, YOU GOTTA SIT, YOU 147 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:51,351 GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU A LADY. >> Jimmy: NO, DON'T MOVE, YOU ARE PERFECT RIGHT NOW. 148 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,753 >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: STUNNING DON'T -- YEAH, DON'T MOVE. 149 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:58,124 HOW WAS NEW ZEALAND? [ CHEERS ] SOMEONE LOVES YOU OUT THERE. 150 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,659 YEAH, YEP. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] HOW WAS NEW ZEALAND? 151 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:04,064 >> IT WAS NEW ZEALAND. >> Jimmy: WHAT WAS - >> IT WAS FUN. 152 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:07,100 DON'T GET ME WRONG, NEW ZEALAND IS BEAUTIFUL >> Jimmy: OKAY 153 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,402 >> FIRST OF ALL, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. BUT IT WAS NEW ZEALAND, IT 154 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:14,641 WASN'T LIKE HOME, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING SO WHENEVER YOU GO SOMEWHERE 155 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:20,113 ELSE, YOU GOTTA TRY TO FIND THE TRANSLATION OF THE STUFF YOU LIKE 156 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,981 >> Jimmy: YES. >> YOU KNOW, LIKE, YOU KNOW, IF YOU LIKE COCA-COLA, EVEN A 157 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,250 A COCA-COLA TASTES DIFFERENT TO ME >> Jimmy: YEAH, IT DOESN'T 158 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,753 TASTE LIKE HOME COCA-COLA. >> RIGHT, RIGHT. AND THEY, LIKE, THEY HAVE THEIR 159 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:32,359 LAND'S FOOD, WHICH IS LIKE PIES IT WAS A LOT OF BREAD AND A LOT 160 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,761 OF COMFORT FOOD. AND OH, GOD. >> Jimmy: YEAH 161 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,396 >> IT WAS -- AND THEN, THERE WAS A LOT OF RAIN 162 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,698 LIKE, DANGEROUS RAIN >> Jimmy: OH >> LIKE, ARE WE GONNA MAKE IT 163 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:43,937 RAIN >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY [ LAUGHTER ] 164 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,972 REALLY >> LIKE, I WENT TO MY HOTEL AND CALLED THE HOTEL AND WAS LIKE, 165 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,742 "ARE WE ENOUGH FLOORS UP?" >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY YEAH, YEAH 166 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,679 >> "'CAUSE I THINK WE ABOUT TO HAVE A TSUNAMI OR SOMETHING. >> Jimmy: REALLY 167 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,347 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: WELL YOU WERE THERE FILMING YOUR SHOW? 168 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:57,117 >> YES "OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH" ON HBO. >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT 169 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,352 >> YES, WHERE I PLAY SPANISH JACKIE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 170 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,354 THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: SPANISH JACKIE, YEAH >> SPANISH JACKIE, AND THANK 171 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:04,591 Y'ALL FOR THE LOVE Y'ALL GIVE SPANISH JACKIE THAT IS JUST LIKE ONE OF MY 172 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:09,529 MOST FAVORITE THINGS I'VE EVER PLAYED >> Jimmy: REALLY 173 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,598 >> YES SHE HAS A WOODEN HAND. >> Jimmy: UH-HUH 174 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,600 >> SHE HAS 20 HUSBANDS >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT >> AND SHE DON'T GIVE 175 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,604 A [ BLEEP >> Jimmy: OKAY [ LAUGHTER ] 176 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,239 I LOVE THAT YOU SAID THE WORD BUT YOU JUST KIND OF WHIFFED IT OUT. 177 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,642 >> YEAH, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW Y'ALL IS >> Jimmy: BUT THAT -- THAT 178 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,979 CAN'T STOP US FROM BLEEPING IT >> Y'ALL GOT THE BLEEPER, MAN. >> Jimmy: NO, BUT THEN -- THEN 179 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:29,749 YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO, "SHE DON'T GIVE A --" [ LAUGHTER ] 180 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,284 >> WELL, SHE DON'T GIVE A [ BLEEP [ LAUGHTER ] 181 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,253 I'LL SAY IT RIGHT. >> Jimmy: YOU KIND OF FLUFFED IT OUT THE FIRST TIME. 182 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,190 YEAH BUT ONE OF YOUR HUSBANDS - >> YES 183 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,893 >> Jimmy: -- ON THE SHOW IS ONE OF OUR - >> OH, MY GOSH 184 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,995 >> Jimmy: -- DEAR FRIENDS, FRED ARMISEN >> FRED IS SO -- FRED IS ONE OF 185 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,999 MY FAVORITE PEOPLE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: COME ON. 186 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,667 >> HE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, 'CAUSE FRED KNOWS HOW TO RIDE THE 187 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:51,371 BOAT >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 188 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:55,008 HE KNOWS HOW TO GET IN THE BOAT, AND BE PART OF THE TEAM, AND MAKE THAT BOAT THRIVE. 189 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,378 >> Jimmy: RIGHT? >> LIKE, HE'S SO GOOD AND QUICK. 190 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:03,049 >> Jimmy: QUICK. >> AND THE SWEETEST. >> Jimmy: HE IS THE BEST GUY 191 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,118 >> THE SWEETEST INDIVIDUAL >> Jimmy: DO YOU GUYS EVER, LIKE, GO OFF-SCRIPT AND 192 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,354 JUST --? >> YES AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK 193 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,189 THAT'S THE REASON WHY SPANISH JACKIE GOT SO MUCH LOVE THE SECOND SEASON, WAS 'CAUSE ME 194 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:12,826 AND FRED WAS RIFFIN' SO MUCH OFF EACH OTHER AND IF YOU WATCH THE FIRST 195 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:17,630 SEASON, LIKE, OUR LOVE AFFAIR WAS JUST - HE WAS ONE OF MY SPECIAL 196 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,233 HUSBANDS >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 197 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,668 YEAH >> OF COURSE >> Jimmy: I LOVE IT. 198 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,404 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PODCAST. >> YES 199 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,473 >> Jimmy: NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS YOU AND LENNY MARCUS 200 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:30,844 >> "THE [ BLEEP ]" >> Jimmy: YES. [ LAUGHTER ] 201 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,278 >> I SAID IT >> Jimmy: NO, NOW, YOU'RE SAYING THAT -- 202 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,982 >> "THE [ BLEEP ]" >> Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT -- I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD - 203 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:40,086 >> YOU SAID YOU HAD A BLEEPER. >> Jimmy: I KNOW, BUT THAT - WE HAVE TO BLEEP THAT TOO LONG, 204 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,422 ALMOST I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU CAN SAY. 205 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,091 THE F-ERY [ LAUGHTER ] >> "THE F-ERY" >> Jimmy: YES, THE F-ERY 206 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:48,128 >> THAT'S NOT WHAT THE PODCAST'S NAME >> Jimmy: YEAH - 207 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,864 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> WE TOOK OUT -- WE TOOK OUT THE VOWELS FOR THE KIDS. 208 00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:56,202 >> Jimmy: YEAH, WE CAN - [ LAUGHTER ] "FOR THE KIDS" 209 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,271 >> WE LOVE KIDS. >> Jimmy: SO THAT -- YOU LOVE THE KIDS 210 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:01,341 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE SO THEY CAN READ -- READ ALL ABOUT IT 211 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:05,278 >> YEAH, YOU KNOW? SO IT'S NOT SO OFFENSIVE [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 212 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,080 >> Jimmy: THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU EITHER MADE UP -- THIS WORD, I'VE HEARD YOU SAY THIS 213 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,950 WORD >> ALL THE TIME. WELL, I ACTUALLY GOT IT FROM 214 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,719 JAMAICANS. JAMAICANS IS WHERE I HEARD IT FROM 215 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,121 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> THE [ BLEEP ] YOU KNOW 216 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,791 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ LAUGHTER ] WHERE DID THE -- WHERE DID THE 217 00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:21,127 IDEA OF THE PODCAST COME UP? >> WELL, ME AND LENNY ARE -- IF YOU EVER SEE US TOGETHER, WE 218 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:28,134 ARE, LIKE, IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE WERE BORN OF THE SAME MOTHER AND FATHER BUT NOT 219 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:32,172 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO, WE ARGUE -- IT'S HILARIOUS. 220 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,908 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO WE -- WE ALWAYS ARE LAUGHING AND TALKING, AND JUST 221 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:38,411 TALKING ABOUT STUFF AND GOING BACK AND FORTH IT'S JUST LIKE WORKING WITH 222 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:42,982 YOUR BEST FRIEND >> Jimmy: YEAH >> BUT HE'S LIKE A NERD. 223 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,486 AND HE KEEPS EVERYTHING -- LIKE, HE -- LIKE, IF I - OH MAN, LENNY KEEPS ALL THE 224 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:54,361 STUFF STRAIGHT HE HAS GRAPHS AND CHARTS HE'S THE ULTIMATE NERD 225 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,429 >> Jimmy: HE REALLY IS A NERD, YEAH >> HE'S, LIKE, NERD OF ALL 226 00:14:56,429 --> 00:15:00,367 NERDS. LIKE NERD OF THE LORD OF THE NERD RINGS 227 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,435 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BUT YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY PERFORMING TOGETHER, 228 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,637 RIGHT? >> YES ROCK CASINO IN ATLANTIC CITY ON 229 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,574 MARCH 11th >> YES Y'ALL GOTTA COME AND SEE US 230 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,876 PERFORM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I WOULD SEE YOU GUYS 231 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,945 LIVE >> OH, MY GOD. WE ARE STUPID. 232 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,681 >> Jimmy: YOU TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ON THIS SHOW. >> EVERYTHING. 233 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:17,183 >> Jimmy: IT REALLY IS LIKE, WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD, WHAT IS GOING ON IN 234 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,920 MOVIES, MUSIC, POP CULTURE >> WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR LIFE >> Jimmy: WHAT'S GOING ON IN 235 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,523 YOUR LIFE. >> YES >> Jimmy: ACTUALLY, THE THING I 236 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,726 LISTENED TO, YOU HAD A MEDIUM, MAYBE, OR A PSYCHIC? >> YES 237 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:31,865 >> Jimmy: BUT WHAT THEY DO IS, THEY SEE WHO YOUR SOULMATE IS AND THEY DRAW THEM 238 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,801 >> YEAH. MAN, DID YOU GET THE PICTURE >> Jimmy: YES, I DID 239 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,670 >> PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT IT, BECAUSE -- I WANT THIS AUDIENCE TO SEE 240 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:43,977 THIS NOW, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE MAN WHO CAN HANDLE MY CARESSES 241 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,946 [ LAUGHTER ] IS THIS -- DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE MAN THAT'S GONNA TO SURVIVE 242 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:54,087 ANY TYPE OF NIGHT WITH ME? >> Jimmy: YEAH - [ LAUGHTER ] 243 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,455 >> NO. >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 244 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,424 >> NO. >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. >> PLEASE LEAVE MY AMAZON 245 00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:02,362 PACKAGE ON THE STEPS - [ LAUGHTER ] AND GET THE [ BLEEP ] OFF MY 246 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:05,031 PORCH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT WHO THAT IS 247 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:08,802 THAT IS YOUR SOULMATE. >> THAT'S NOT MY DAMN SOULMATE [ LAUGHTER ] 248 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,837 >> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS GUY >> AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 249 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,372 WHO BELIEVES IN SOULMATES ANYWAY WHO OUT HERE BELIEVES IN 250 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,708 SOULMATES? [ SCATTERED CHEERS ] GROW UP! 251 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,043 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE GROW UP! >> Jimmy: ONLY ONE PERSON. 252 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,045 >> YOU KNOW WHAT >> Jimmy: ONE PERSON >> SANTA CLAUS AIN'T REAL 253 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:21,381 EITHER [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: HEY, WHAT IS GOING 254 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:25,085 ON, RIGHT NOW? WHAT IN THE HECK IS HAPPENING? [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 255 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,721 WHAT IN THE F-ERY IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW? >> YOUR MAMA BOUGHT THAT 256 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,889 PRESENT! YOUR MAMA -- [ LAUGHTER ] 257 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:32,525 >> Jimmy: NO, NO - >> YOUR MAMA AND YOUR DAD BROUGHT THAT 258 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:37,130 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG WHAT'S GOING ON? 259 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,865 IS - >> SICK OF THIS, NOW >> Jimmy: OH, MY - 260 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:43,336 >> THE WILDEST DAMN NATION NO [ LAUGHTER ] 261 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,971 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S BRING IT BACK. 262 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:47,707 >> SICK OF THIS. >> Jimmy: NO, LET'S -- LOOK AT THIS PERSON. 263 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,676 >> WHAT -- AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT, JIMMY? AM I SUPPOSED TO RUN AROUND AND 264 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:58,418 GO - [ LAUGHTER ] SICK OF THIS [ BLEEP ] 265 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:14,401 [ LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: CAN WE TALK ABOUT -- 266 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,136 [ LAUGHTER ] CAN I TALK ABOUT "THE DAILY SHOW" PLEASE 267 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,038 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YES, YOU CAN TALK ABOUT "THE DAILY SHOW." 268 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,173 >> Jimmy: OKAY, OKAY ALL RIGHT, HOLD -- >> DAILY 269 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,708 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, "THE DAILY SHOW." >> I DON'T THINK THEY GOT 270 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,244 BLEEPERS, EITHER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] OH, MY GOSH. 271 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,079 >> Jimmy: COMEDY CENTRAL GOING "OH, NO. >> AND WE GONNA BE TALKING 272 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,249 ABOUT POLITICIANS. OH, LORD, YOU KNOW I DON'T - >> Jimmy: GET READY. 273 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,651 >> AND YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW NONE OF THEM WHITE FOLKS' NAMES. 274 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:35,588 [ LAUGHTER ] ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEY MESSING UP EVERYTHING. 275 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:39,059 >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, NOW, LOOK [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE FIRST 276 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,495 GUEST HOST SINCE TREVOR NOAH - >> YES >> Jimmy: -- LEFT THE SHOW 277 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,731 CONGRATS THIS TUESDAY WHAT KIND OF SHOW DO YOU WANT 278 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:49,135 IT TO BE >> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING TO CHRIS AND -- 279 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:53,740 CHRIS ROCK I LIKE TO DROP NAMES [ LAUGHTER ] 280 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,709 BUT I WAS LIKE -- HE WAS LIKE, "DON'T TRY TO BE LIKE TREVOR DON'T TRY TO BE LIKE JON 281 00:17:55,709 --> 00:18:00,013 BE YOU YOU KNOW, BE --" AND WHAT I WANT TO BRING IS 282 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:08,488 THAT VULNERABLE TRUTH. TO -- I WANT TO BRING THE BLACK WOMAN ASS-WHOOPING 283 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:12,025 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STOP ACTING LIKE THAT. DON'T DO THAT! 284 00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:15,261 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] SIT YOUR ASS DOWN! >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, YEAH, 285 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,464 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I DONE TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH 286 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,200 THAT >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 287 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,337 >> THAT'S WHAT AMERICA NEEDS RIGHT NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 288 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:27,407 >> Jimmy: WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU HOST THIS TUESDAY. LESLIE JONES, EVERYBODY. 289 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,677 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE GUEST HOSTING "THE DAILY SHOW," BEGINNING NEXT TUESDAY ON 290 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:35,181 COMEDY CENTRAL LESLIE AND I ARE PLAYING A FUN GAME WHEN WE COME BACK 291 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:39,052 >> YES >> Jimmy: STICK AROUND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 292 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:44,357 * >> I GOTTA GET IT TO SAY "PUPPET. 293 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,961 SO MANY THINGS COMING TO MY HEAD [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 294 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:53,867 ALEXA, UM, WHAT DID GEPPETTO ACTUALLY INTEND PINOCCHIO TO BE 295 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:57,203 BE >> HUMAN [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 296 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,393 TONIGHT SHOW." WE'RE HANGING OUT WITH LESLIE JONES, EVERYBODY. 297 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:24,030 >> YES >> Jimmy: LESLIE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 298 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:27,834 >> OH, WAIT A MINUTE QUEST, YOUR -- YOUR DOCUMENTARY, ONE OF THE BEST 299 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,903 THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE >> Jimmy: YEAH 300 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:33,206 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONGRATULATIONS. >> JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT 301 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:36,810 >> Jimmy: YEP. I -- I LIKE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT 302 00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:42,382 >> YOU KNOW, HE WON AN OSCAR I'M SO PROUD >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD 303 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,452 >> I'M SO PROUD. HE'S JUST LIKE A LITTLE DRUMMER HERE 304 00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:51,057 >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD >> AND HE DRUM AND HE SPIN THOSE RECORDS AND HE SAID, "I'M 305 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:55,061 GONNA DO A DOCUMENTARY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: PROUD OF HIM 306 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,364 YEAH, HE CRUSHED >> PROUD OF YOU. >> Jimmy: QUESTLOVE, TAKING 307 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,333 HOME THE GOLD. >> YES [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 308 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,603 >> Jimmy: TAKING HOME THE GOLD WE'RE ABOUT TO PLAY A GAME CALLED "HEY ROBOT. 309 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,637 HERE WE GO >> OKAY. 310 00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:10,377 HEY ROBOT * >> Jimmy: NOW, HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS. 311 00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:13,413 THIS IS BASED ON A REAL BOARD GAME, "HEY ROBOT," THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT HOME 312 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,049 IT'S LIKE THE CLASSIC GAME "PASSWORD," OKAY BUT YOUR PARTNER IS A SMART 313 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,885 SPEAKER. >> SO YOU PLAY THIS AT A WHITE FOLKS' HOUSE 314 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,722 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ANYONE CAN PLAY THIS >> NO, WE PLAY SPADE AND 315 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:28,628 DOMINOS. [ CHEERS ] AND WHITE FOLKS PLAY ROBOT 316 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:32,432 >> Jimmy: NO, HERE WE GO "HEY ROBOT," HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS. 317 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,735 WE'RE GOING TO PICK A CARD WITH A WORD ON IT WE'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS 318 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:40,273 ASKING QUESTION. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO GET THE 319 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:42,842 SPEAKER TO SAY THAT WORD SOMEWHERE IN THE ANSWER. >> OKAY. 320 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,078 >> IF IT DOES, YOU GET A POINT >> OKAY, OKAY. >> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, I WILL GO 321 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,180 FIRST. >> YOU GONNA GO FIRST. >> Jimmy: HERE WE GO, I'LL SHOW 322 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,716 YOU HOW IT'S DONE. >> OKAY, WHAT'S THE WORD >> Jimmy: HM 323 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,351 >> OKAY. ALL RIGHT. >> Jimmy: OKAY 324 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:57,157 ALL RIGHT, HOW DO I GET HIM TO SAY THAT UM, OKAY 325 00:20:57,157 --> 00:21:07,300 UM ALEXA, PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS A POPULAR TYPE OF WHAT? 326 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:11,705 >> ACCORDING TO AN ALEXA ANSWERS CONTRIBUTOR, PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS A SANDWICH 327 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:14,874 CONSISTING - [ BELL DINGS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 328 00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:17,811 >> I ALMOST SAID PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY TOO. OKAY 329 00:21:17,811 --> 00:21:20,213 >> Jimmy: YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING? ALEXA, STOP. 330 00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:22,482 NOT BAD, RIGHT OKAY, YOU GOT THIS >> FIRST OF ALL, ALEXA IS, 331 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:27,220 LIKE, ON YOUR SIDE I DON'T -- >> Jimmy: WAIT, WE JUST 332 00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:31,458 STARTED. >> OKAY, SO -- >> Jimmy: LET'S SEE. 333 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,327 >> WAIT A MINUTE, HOW I DO IT? >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YEP, OKAY. 334 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,730 YOU HAVE TO GET IT TO SAY "PUPPET. >> I GOTTA GET IT TO SAY 335 00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:40,100 "PUPPET. SO MANY THINGS COMING TO MY HEAD 336 00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:55,315 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] ALEXA, UM, WHAT DID GEPPETTO ACTUALLY INTEND PINOCCHIO TO 337 00:21:55,315 --> 00:22:02,188 BE >> HUMAN [ AUDIENCE OHS ] 338 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,391 >> SHUT UP, BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: ALEXA, STOP. 339 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:10,497 ALEXA. STOP [ LAUGHTER ] 340 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:14,968 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD MAKE IT STOP BY DOING THAT, BY THE WAY THAT'S THE FIRST - 341 00:22:14,968 --> 00:22:18,805 [ LAUGHTER ] >> SHE KNOW WHAT'S UP. [ LAUGHTER ] 342 00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:21,641 I THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH AN INTELLIGENT CLUE >> Jimmy: YEAH, NO I LIKED 343 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,276 YOUR - >> I FORGOT HE DID WANT HIM TO BE HUMAN 344 00:22:23,276 --> 00:22:25,912 >> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH >> CAN YOU GET IT -- CAN YOU GET -- 345 00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:35,088 >> Jimmy: CAN I SAY -- WAS HE - ALEXA, WHAT WAS PINOCCHIO? 346 00:22:35,088 --> 00:22:37,090 >> PINOCCHIO IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND THE PROTAGONIST OF THE CHILDREN'S NOVEL "THE 347 00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:43,496 ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO" BY CARLO COLLODI OF FLORENCE, TUSCANY. 348 00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:47,233 PINOCCHIO WAS CARVED BY A WOOD CARVER NAMED GEPPETTO IN A A TUSCAN VILLAGE 349 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:52,572 HE WAS CREATED AS A WOODEN PUPPET [ BELL DINGS ] 350 00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:54,674 >> Jimmy: YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THEY SAID PUPPET 351 00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,409 THEY SAID PUPPET YOU SAID PUPPET. YOU SAID PUPPET. 352 00:22:56,409 --> 00:23:00,780 OOH, SAID PUPPET >> FIRST OF ALL, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT IF I 353 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,850 HADN'T SAID -- [ LAUGHTER ] SO I SHOULD GET THAT POINT 354 00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:05,485 >> Jimmy: YOU CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR PUPPET >> I SHOULD GET THAT POINT, 355 00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:08,054 'CAUSE I TOLD YOU -- >> Jimmy: IT IS -- >> THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE TO 356 00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:10,824 PLAY GAMES WITH WHITE PEOPLE [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, I GO NEXT? 357 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:14,761 >> Jimmy: YES. >> OKAY. COME ON. 358 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:19,132 WHAT THE [ BLEEP ] [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT IS THIS 359 00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:22,535 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, OKAY I THINK -- I KNOW WHAT IT IS, 360 00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:33,346 BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T. OKAY ALEXA, WHAT IS THAT THING 361 00:23:33,346 --> 00:23:39,919 CALLED THAT THEY CLEAN THE ICE ON THE HOCKEY THING WITH [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 362 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:42,322 >> FROM REFERENCE.COM, THE MACHINE THAT CLEANS THE ICE DURING HOCKEY GAMES IS CALLED 363 00:23:42,322 --> 00:23:47,127 A ZAMBONI -- [ BELL DINGS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 364 00:23:47,127 --> 00:23:52,932 * >> Jimmy: ZAMBONI. ZAMBONI. 365 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:58,204 ZAMBONI. THAT'S THE HARDEST ONE WE'VE EVER DONE, BY THE WAY. 366 00:23:58,204 --> 00:24:03,843 NICE JOB ZAMBONI, FIRST TRY >> THAT'S TWO POINTS 367 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:06,479 >> Jimmy: THAT'S TWO POINTS FOR THAT ONE, ALL RIGHT. THIS LAST ONE, HERE WE GO. 368 00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:10,617 LET'S TRY IT TOGETHER AND SEE IF WE CAN GET IT THIS IS 1,000 POINTS 369 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:14,254 WE CAN DO THIS >> YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS SUM-BLY. 370 00:24:14,254 --> 00:24:19,259 SUBLIME. >> Jimmy: SUBLIME. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 371 00:24:19,259 --> 00:24:22,095 SUBLIME. >> SUB-LIME. >> Jimmy: OH, OKAY 372 00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,064 OH, I KNOW -- I GOT ONE. >> OKAY. >> Jimmy: ALEXA, WHO SINGS 373 00:24:24,064 --> 00:24:31,304 "SANTERIA" >> OH, THAT'S CHEATING >> BRAD NOWELL SANG IN 374 00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:35,075 "SANTERIA" BY SUBLIME. [ BELL DINGS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 375 00:24:35,075 --> 00:24:38,111 >> THAT'S CHEATING THAT'S CHEATING. >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 376 00:24:38,111 --> 00:24:41,414 ABOUT? >> HOW'D YOU GET THE LAST CARD >> Jimmy: WAIT, THAT WAS 377 00:24:41,414 --> 00:24:45,719 CHEATING >> CHEATER CHEATER! 378 00:24:45,719 --> 00:24:48,621 >> Jimmy: LESLIE JONES, EVERYBODY. >> AND YOU DID IT ON NATIONAL 379 00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:53,360 TV [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LESLIE - 380 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:57,097 SHE IS GUEST HOSTING "THE DAILY SHOW" NEXT WEEK, STARTING TUESDAY, AND IT'S GONNA BE 381 00:24:57,097 --> 00:24:59,699 GREAT. >> WOW >> Jimmy: STICK AROUND, WE'LL 382 00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:19,486 BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 383 00:25:19,486 --> 00:25:24,724 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A FIVE-TIME EMMY NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS IN THE NEW SHOW 384 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:28,094 "KALEIDOSCOPE," WHICH IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX PLEASE WELCOME 385 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:29,929 PLEASE WELCOME GIANCARLO ESPOSITO 386 00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:44,511 * 387 00:25:44,511 --> 00:25:51,818 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YOU HEAR THIS YOU HEAR THIS? 388 00:25:51,818 --> 00:25:53,787 >> Jimmy: YOU HEAR THAT? YOU HEAR THAT? >> ALL RIGHT 389 00:25:53,787 --> 00:25:56,623 >> Jimmy: THAT'S FOR YOU THAT IS FOR YOU. >> OH, MY GOODNESS 390 00:25:56,623 --> 00:26:00,360 >> Jimmy: GIANCARLO WELCOME TO THE SHOW >> THANK YOU 391 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:03,396 THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS TO ASK 392 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:07,567 YOU. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS THAT I'M A FAN OF YOURS 393 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:10,303 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON THE SHOW I'M HONORED TO HAVE YOU HERE 394 00:26:10,303 --> 00:26:14,874 I WANT TO START OFF BY SAYING -- "MANDALORIAN," WE WANT IT BACK 395 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:20,680 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YOU'RE FANTASTIC IN IT IT IS BACK IN MARCH. 396 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:27,120 FINALLY, IT'S COMING >> "YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT. >> Jimmy: OH, YEAH 397 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:30,056 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YOU KNOW WHAT 398 00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:32,926 I GOT TO TELL YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME ON THE SHOW I'M HONORED TO BE HERE 399 00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:35,061 YOU ARE THE KING I'VE WANTED TO BE HERE FOR MANY YEARS. 400 00:26:35,061 --> 00:26:36,963 AND FINALLY, YOU INVITED ME! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: OH YEAH. 401 00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:39,265 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. COME ON, BUD >> "MANDALORIAN" IS A GREAT 402 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,234 SHOW I REALLY LOVE THAT DOING THAT SHOW 403 00:26:41,234 --> 00:26:43,436 >> Jimmy: BUT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT. YOU KNOW HOW TO CREATE A 404 00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,939 A CHARACTER AND MAKE IT A LEGENDARY CHARACTER. HERE YOU ARE THOUGH, ACTING 405 00:26:45,939 --> 00:26:52,178 OPPOSITE A VERY CUTE PUPPET. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I WILL 406 00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:54,681 SQUASH THAT LITTLE BIG-EARED BASTARD. [ LAUGHTER ] 407 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,416 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. 408 00:26:56,416 --> 00:26:58,718 YES. >> LOOK, I WALK BY THAT PUPPET, JOHN FAVREAU, WHO CALLED ME AND 409 00:26:58,718 --> 00:27:01,121 SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO BE APART THE SHOW?" HE SAID, "I HAVE GOOD NEWS 410 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:03,189 I HAVE BAD NEWS. I SAID, "TELL ME THE GOOD NEWS FIRST. 411 00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:05,625 "THE GOOD NEWS IS I WROTE A ROLE FOR YOU OF MOFF GIDEON, IN 'MANDALORIAN.'" I SAID, 412 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:08,461 "WHAT'S THAT?" HE SAID, "IT'S A 'STAR WARS' IT'S A NEW 'STAR WARS' SHOW 413 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:12,732 THAT I'M DOING." I SAID, "OKAY, GREAT WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS? 414 00:27:12,732 --> 00:27:15,669 HE SAID, "ALL OF THE MONEY IS GOING INTO THE VOLUME. AND HE WAS TALKING TECHNICALLY, 415 00:27:15,669 --> 00:27:18,405 AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE STORY AND ALL THESE GOOD THINGS 416 00:27:18,405 --> 00:27:21,241 AND I SAID TO HIM, "JOHN, I WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE I LIKE 417 00:27:21,241 --> 00:27:23,643 THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE." I DID NOT WANT TO SAY, CAME VERY CLOSE TO SAYING, "I WOULD 418 00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:28,048 DO IT FOR FREE." [ LAUGHTER ] NO, YOU DON'T TO SAY THAT. 419 00:27:28,048 --> 00:27:30,316 >> Jimmy: NO, BUT YOU LOVED IT THAT MUCH? >> I LOVED IT THAT MUCH. 420 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:35,655 HE SAID, "ARE THERE ANY REQUESTS?" I SAID, "I HAVE ONE REQUEST. 421 00:27:35,655 --> 00:27:40,493 PLEASE, I MUST HAVE A CAPE." AND HE SAID, "DONE DEAL. >> Jimmy: WOW. 422 00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:42,562 >> AND THAT -- >> Jimmy: THAT WAS YOU >> IT WAS ME 423 00:27:42,562 --> 00:27:45,198 IT SOLD ME ON EVERYTHING THAT I COULD HAVE A CAPE. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THIS SHOW 424 00:27:45,198 --> 00:27:50,437 ALLOWED ME TO FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN. YOU KNOW 425 00:27:50,437 --> 00:27:54,808 IT MADE ME DREAM AGAIN IT MADE ME BE IN WONDER AGAIN. IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I COULD GO 426 00:27:54,808 --> 00:27:59,379 ANY PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE, AND CARRY MY DREAMS, MY HOPES AND MY IMAGINATION WITH ME 427 00:27:59,379 --> 00:28:02,882 >> Jimmy: WOW. I KIND OF FEEL THAT WAY WATCHING IT. 428 00:28:02,882 --> 00:28:04,417 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S A GREAT WAY OF PUTTING IT 429 00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:06,286 REALLY IT REALLY IS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE SHOWS TO WATCH. 430 00:28:06,286 --> 00:28:13,259 AND TO ACTUALLY WATCH GROGU COME TO LIFE WHAT DID YOU CALL IT BEFORE IT 431 00:28:13,259 --> 00:28:18,031 HAD A NAME >> IT WAS CALLED THE CHILD FOR A LONG TIME. 432 00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:21,468 AND IT WAS SITTING ON A DESK AND I WALK BY, AND JOHN AND I WERE CHATTING -- I THINK HE'S 433 00:28:21,468 --> 00:28:24,104 A GENIUS HE'S WRITTEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SHOW, DAVID FILONI, HIS 434 00:28:24,104 --> 00:28:27,040 PARTNER, IS ALSO FANTASTIC THIS COMES OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH 435 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,110 GEORGE LUCAS AND JOSEPH CAMPBELL. SO, WHAT WE LOVE ABOUT THE 436 00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:34,714 SHOW, YOU MAY NOT KNOW, IS THAT IT'S THE POWER OF THE MYTHOLOGY OF THE SHOW THAT YOU CAN SEE 437 00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:39,386 YOUR HERO AND YOUR HEROINE WITHIN "MANDO. AND WE WALK BY A TABLE AND HE 438 00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:45,725 SAID, "HEY," JUST CASUALLY, "YOU WANT TO LOOK AT THE CHILD? 439 00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:49,229 I SAID, "CERTAINLY." AND HE PULLS OFF THE CANVAS OFF. 440 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:53,199 AND I LOOKED AT THIS PRACTICAL CHILD. AND HE EXPLAINED TO ME IT'S 441 00:28:53,199 --> 00:28:55,902 GOING TO BE THIS, IT'S GOING TO BE THAT -- THE C.G.I AND I SAID, "NO, THIS PERFECT. 442 00:28:55,902 --> 00:29:00,173 AND THEN THE PUPPETEER WALKED BY AT THAT VERY MOMENT AND THE PUPPETEER SAID, "DO YOU 443 00:29:00,173 --> 00:29:06,012 WANT TO SEE AND TALK TO HIM? [ LAUGHTER ] I WENT, "OKAY. 444 00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:08,381 AND THE CHILD OPENED ITS EYES, TURNED ITS HEAD, WIGGLED ITS EARS 445 00:29:08,381 --> 00:29:13,186 AND I WAS -- YOU CAN'T TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF THIS CHILD. GROGU IS FASCINATING, 446 00:29:13,186 --> 00:29:17,557 MYSTERIOUS, INTELLIGENT, SMART AND I LOOKED AT JOHN, I SAID, "JOHN -- 447 00:29:17,557 --> 00:29:21,494 I SAID, "JOHN, THIS IS THE STAR OF THE SHOW. AND HE STOOD BACK AND SCRATCHED 448 00:29:21,494 --> 00:29:25,765 HIS CHIN AND HE SAID, "YOU THINK SO?" I SAID, "I KNOW SO 449 00:29:25,765 --> 00:29:30,670 AND EVERY SCENE THAT I'M IN HAS TO BE WITH THIS CHILD. [ LAUGHTER ] 450 00:29:30,670 --> 00:29:34,507 PUT IN THE CONTRACT, BABY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: EXACTLY. 451 00:29:34,507 --> 00:29:38,211 AND YOU CRUSH IT BUT THEN, EVERYONE LOVES YOU WE LOVE YOUR CHARACTER, EVEN 452 00:29:38,211 --> 00:29:41,147 THOUGH YOU ARE THE VILLAIN BUT JUST -- ALSO, ONLINE, A LOT OF FANS WANT YOU TO BE IN THE 453 00:29:41,147 --> 00:29:50,857 MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. >> I LOVE WHAT MARVEL DOES I LOVE THAT THE FANS CAN SEE ME 454 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:54,527 IN THIS UNIVERSE, AND ARE PROPOSING NOT ONLY ONE CHARACTER, POSSIBLY MAGNETO, 455 00:29:54,527 --> 00:30:01,935 POSSIBLY FREEZE. AND THE BIGGEST ASK IS CHARLES XAVIER 456 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:07,607 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: BUT MAYBE IT'S REAL. >> LOOK, I WANT TO PLAY A GOOD 457 00:30:07,607 --> 00:30:09,376 GUY. AND CHARLES IS SMART HE'S GOOD. 458 00:30:09,376 --> 00:30:12,112 BUT I FEEL AS IF THERE MAY BE SOME MILEAGE WITH ME AND MARVEL 459 00:30:12,112 --> 00:30:16,783 I KNOW I LOVE WHAT THEY DO I KNOW I LOVE CREATIVITY SO, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD 460 00:30:16,783 --> 00:30:18,985 HAPPEN KEEP PUTTING IT OUT THERE. >> Jimmy: YEAH 461 00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:25,091 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THE FANS LOVE YOU. I HEARD A RUMOR. 462 00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:28,161 TELL ME IF THIS IS TRUE OR NOT THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BARACK AND 463 00:30:28,161 --> 00:30:32,766 MICHELLE OBAMA'S RELATIONSHIP. >> OH, MY GOODNESS SO, I LOVE WHAT BARACK OBAMA 464 00:30:32,766 --> 00:30:34,601 HAS DONE, AND CONTINUES TO DO TO FORWARD THE HUMAN SPIRIT, AND ALSO TO EXEMPLIFY SOMEONE 465 00:30:34,601 --> 00:30:45,211 WHO HAS A WONDERFUL MORALITY AND WHO IS IN SERVICE. I BELIEVE THAT TO BE IN 466 00:30:45,211 --> 00:30:49,616 SERVICE, IS OUR BEST BET FOR OUR OWN LIFE SO, I WAS AT THE DEMOCRATIC 467 00:30:49,616 --> 00:30:57,257 CONVENTION AND I WAS STANDING ABOUT HERE TO THE MONITOR FROM BARACK WHEN 468 00:30:57,257 --> 00:31:01,628 HE MADE HIS SPEECH AND I WAS SO VERY IMPRESSED. I WAS AT ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR. 469 00:31:01,628 --> 00:31:04,064 WE WALKED OUT. HE SAID, "I'M GOING TO GET THE CAR. 470 00:31:04,064 --> 00:31:07,300 AND I SAID, "OKAY, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU. AND I'M WALKING. 471 00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:10,704 AND I HEAR, "YO. AND I'M LIKE, "WHO IS YO-ING ME?" 472 00:31:10,704 --> 00:31:12,539 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE, SYLVESTER STALLONE IS HERE [ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER 473 00:31:12,539 --> 00:31:18,445 >> Jimmy: YEAH >> YOU KNOW, "YO," AGAIN AND I TURN, AND I SEE THESE TWO 474 00:31:18,445 --> 00:31:22,682 GENTLEMEN. AND THEY START COMING TOWARDS ME, AND I REALIZE ONE IS 475 00:31:22,682 --> 00:31:23,883 BARACK OBAMA I'M LIKE, "WELL, YOU'VE TO BE KIDDING ME." 476 00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:26,753 HE'S LIKE, "I JUST GOT TO TALK TO YOU I GOT TO TALK TO YOU 477 00:31:26,753 --> 00:31:29,589 'DO THE RIGHT THING' IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES." HE TELLS ME A STORY ABOUT HOW 478 00:31:29,589 --> 00:31:32,225 HE BOUGHT MICHELLE ICE CREAM, AND HOW THEY WENT TO SEE "DO THE RIGHT THING" FOR THEIR VERY 479 00:31:32,225 --> 00:31:42,502 FIRST DATE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND SO, I SAW THE FUTURE 480 00:31:42,502 --> 00:31:44,804 AND I SAW HE WAS JUST A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN-BEING AND KNEW WHO HE WOULD BE 481 00:31:44,804 --> 00:31:47,841 I FINALLY GOT A CHANCE TO TELL HIM, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 482 00:31:47,841 --> 00:31:49,809 ONE DAY. JUST STAY THE COURSE." >> Jimmy: YOU SAID THAT TO HIM 483 00:31:49,809 --> 00:31:53,413 >> OF COURSE, I DID. >> Jimmy: OF COURSE YOU DID. THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT. 484 00:31:53,413 --> 00:31:55,715 THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT YOU KNEW IT. >> I KNEW IT 485 00:31:55,715 --> 00:31:59,686 >> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS NEW SERIES "KALEIDOSCOPE. BEFORE WE CAN GET INTO WHAT 486 00:31:59,686 --> 00:32:01,521 IT'S ABOUT, I LIKE THE IDEA THAT IT'S ON TOP OF THE IDEA, THAT -- TELL ME IF I GOT THIS 487 00:32:01,521 --> 00:32:11,131 CORRECT. EVERY NETFLIX ACCOUNT IS SET UP DIFFERENTLY. 488 00:32:11,131 --> 00:32:12,899 SOME HAVE DIFFERENT ALGORITHMS OR WHATEVER THAT SO, WHEN I WATCH "KALEIDOSCOPE" 489 00:32:12,899 --> 00:32:20,106 I WILL START AT A DIFFERENT EPISODE THAN IF YOU WATCH "KALEIDOSCOPE. 490 00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:23,710 IT'S JUST -- THE EPISODES ARE ALL DIFFERENT. >> CORRECT 491 00:32:23,710 --> 00:32:26,212 CORRECT. ONE OF THE FASINATING THINGS ABOUT "KALEIDOSCOPE," WHICH I'M 492 00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:30,583 VERY, VERY PROUD OF, IS THAT THE DELIVERY SYSTEM IS THAT YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU WATCH IT. 493 00:32:30,583 --> 00:32:34,487 WHICH MEANS YOU'RE CHOOSING HOW THE STORY UNFOLDS. THERE'S NO NUMBERS, ONE, TWO, 494 00:32:34,487 --> 00:32:39,125 THREE, FOUR, FIVE. THERE'S ONLY COLORS. ORANGE, BLUE, GREEN, YELLOW, 495 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:42,962 WHITE. IT IS VIOLET AND SO, IT'S FASCINATING 496 00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:47,967 IT'S A KALEIDOSCOPE OF COLOR, THUS THE TITLE THAT TIES US IN BUT THE MOST WONDERFUL THING IS 497 00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:54,874 THAT THE STORY IS CONNECTED VIA CHARACTER AND EVENT. ONE EVENT SURROUNDS ALL EIGHT 498 00:32:54,874 --> 00:32:57,610 EPISODES YOU SHOULD WATCH WHITE LAST, I SUGGEST. 499 00:32:57,610 --> 00:33:02,282 AND IT SPANS 25 YEARS. AND I PLAY A CHARACTER NAMED RAY VERNON IN THE BEGINNING, 500 00:33:02,282 --> 00:33:06,052 WHO IS A MASTER THIEF. AND IF I TOLD YOU HOW I PREPARED FOR THIS ROLE, YOU 501 00:33:06,052 --> 00:33:13,059 WOULD BE EXCITED TOO SO, I PLAY THIS MASTER THIEF, WHO GIVES UP ONE LIFE, GIVES UP 502 00:33:13,059 --> 00:33:14,661 ONE IDENTITY, AND BECOMES ANOTHER THROUGH THE CIRCUMSTANCE EVENTS OF THE 503 00:33:14,661 --> 00:33:18,798 SHOW WHAT REALLY DREW ME TO THE SHOW, WAS THAT YOU, AS AN 504 00:33:18,798 --> 00:33:23,403 AUDIENCE, I, AS AN AUDIENCE, WOULD HAVE A CHOICE, AS TO HOW I WANTED TO SEE IT HAPPEN. 505 00:33:23,403 --> 00:33:27,974 AND THERE'S ALL THESE EASTER EGGS, AND CLUES THROUGHOUT THAT CONNECT EVERY STORY. 506 00:33:27,974 --> 00:33:32,078 SO, YOU CAN SEE ONE COMPLETE HEIST. IT'S ABOUT A HEIST THAT TOOK 507 00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:39,586 PLACE DURING A HURRICANE BACK IN THE LATE '70s, EARLY '80s OF $70 BILLION IN UNSECURED BEARER 508 00:33:39,586 --> 00:33:43,723 BONDS. AND BECAUSE OF THIS PARTICULAR HEIST THAT HAPPENED IN HISTORY, 509 00:33:43,723 --> 00:33:48,528 WE'RE LOOSELY BASED ON THAT. THE U.S. GOVERNMENT CHANGED THE LAW. 510 00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:52,132 THERE CAN BE NO MORE UNSECURED BONDS. SO, SINCE THEN, ALL BONDS HAVE 511 00:33:52,132 --> 00:33:58,905 TO BE REGISTERED SO, YOU CAN'T USE THEM FOR ILLICIT MEANS, I.E., BUYING 512 00:33:58,905 --> 00:34:02,742 ARMS, OR DRUGS, OR JEWELRY SO, THIS PARTICULAR HEIST IS AN EXCITING ONE 513 00:34:02,742 --> 00:34:19,793 BUT IT'S MORE EXCITING BECAUSE IT PITS A NE'ER-DO-WELL GROUP OF THIEVES AGAINST A LARGE 514 00:34:19,793 --> 00:34:21,227 INDUSTRY, A PRIVATE FIRM, THAT WILL HOLD YOUR MONEY AND YOUR JEWELERY 515 00:34:21,227 --> 00:34:24,264 AND IT'S ALSO A REVENGE STORY. IT'S A FABULOUS PIECE. I HAD A CHANCE TO REALLY EXCEL 516 00:34:24,264 --> 00:34:27,067 IN PHYSICALLY AND ALSO MENTALLY MY PREPARATION, I WAS IN AN 517 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:29,536 AIRPORT, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "I'M GOING TO PLAY A THIEF HOW DO I SNEAK -- NO COME ON, 518 00:34:29,536 --> 00:34:32,906 NO KIDDING HOW DO I SNEAK UP ON SOMEBODY STEALTHILY -- BE BEHIND THEM 519 00:34:32,906 --> 00:34:35,742 WITHOUT THEM KNOWING." THIS REALLY HAPPENED I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT 520 00:34:35,742 --> 00:34:40,580 ME I AM A BAD MAN [ LAUGHTER ] 521 00:34:40,580 --> 00:34:44,184 SO, I SNEAK UP ON A LADY SHE'S WALKING. EVERYONE IS ON THEIR CELL 522 00:34:44,184 --> 00:34:46,586 PHONE. NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION ANYWAY 523 00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:48,888 AND SHE HAD A PEN IN HER COAT POCKET AND HER COAT WAS OPEN AND IT 524 00:34:48,888 --> 00:34:55,095 WAS FLAPPING A LITTLE BIT, AND I THOUGHT, LET'S SEE HOW GOOD I AM 525 00:34:55,095 --> 00:35:01,334 IF I CAN JUST GET TO THAT PEN WITH TWO FINGERS SO, I SNUCK UP ON HER. 526 00:35:01,334 --> 00:35:06,039 I WAS OVER HER RIGHT SHOULDER. AND I TRAILED HER. AND I GOT MY FINGERS IN HER 527 00:35:06,039 --> 00:35:09,542 POCKET, VERY MUCH LIKE THIS PATCH POCKET AND I TOOK THE PEN AND, I SLID 528 00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:12,579 IT OUT, AND THEN I DROPPED IT ON THE GROUND. >> Jimmy: YES. 529 00:35:12,579 --> 00:35:15,448 >> I DIDN'T WANT TO STEAL IT >> Jimmy: NO, POINT PROVEN >> POINT PROVEN, I DID IT! 530 00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:17,951 >> Jimmy: POINT MADE, I CAN DO THIS >> AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID 531 00:35:17,951 --> 00:35:20,887 >> Jimmy: WHAT OH, WAIT I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. 532 00:35:20,887 --> 00:35:23,757 >> I MADE THE "MALCOLM X" MOVE WHAT DID I DO? TELL ME WHAT I DID 533 00:35:23,757 --> 00:35:25,291 >> Jimmy: YOU TOLD HER, 'EXCUSE ME, MISS, YOU DROPPED YOUR PEN. 534 00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:31,631 >> THAT'S RIGHT, BABY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY -- 535 00:35:31,631 --> 00:35:34,067 COME ON, BUDDY >> I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 536 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:36,636 OH, MAN. >> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP. 537 00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,638 HERE'S GIANCARLO ESPOSITO IN "KALEIDOSCOPE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 538 00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:38,672 "KALEIDOSCOPE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 539 00:35:39,739 --> 00:35:49,315 * [ METAL CLATTER 540 00:35:49,315 --> 00:36:02,662 [ WATER SPLASH ] [ BUBBLES * 541 00:36:02,662 --> 00:36:13,139 * OH * >> NO ONE CAN PINPOINT THE EXACT MOMENT IT ALL FELL APART 542 00:36:13,139 --> 00:36:18,178 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: GIANCARLO ESPOSITO "KALEIDOSCOPE" IS STREAMING NOW 543 00:36:18,178 --> 00:36:22,215 ON NETFLIX WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A FROM ALVVAYS. 544 00:36:22,215 --> 00:36:44,971 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 545 00:36:44,971 --> 00:36:50,310 >> Jimmy: MAKING THEIR LATE-NIGHT TV DEBUT, PERFORMING "BELINDA SAYS" FROM THEIR 546 00:36:50,310 --> 00:36:53,713 CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED ALBUM, "BLUE REV," PLEASE WELCOME ALVVAYS. 547 00:36:53,713 --> 00:36:56,850 ALVVAYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 548 00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:12,499 * CAN'T EXPLAIN MY ANKL 549 00:37:12,499 --> 00:37:21,374 SPRAIN I DIDN'T REALLY FEEL IT NEW DRESS COUL TURN YOUR HEAD BUT HOW * 550 00:37:21,374 --> 00:37:32,185 * LONG TIL WE REEL IT I PARADISE AND I FIN MYSELF PARALYZED * 551 00:37:32,185 --> 00:37:37,557 * KNOWING ALL TOO WEL BLUE REV BEHIND THE RINK I DIDN'T REALLY NEED IT * 552 00:37:37,557 --> 00:37:42,462 * CIRCUMSPECT WHEN YOU CALL COLLECT TO SEE IF WOULD KEEP IT * 553 00:37:42,462 --> 00:37:45,732 * PARADISE AND I FIND MYSELF PARALYZED KNOWING ALL TOO WELL * 554 00:37:45,732 --> 00:38:09,356 * TERRIFIED BUT I'LL FIND MY WAY MOVING TO THE COUNTRY GONNA HAVE * 555 00:38:09,356 --> 00:38:20,934 * THAT BABY WAIT TABLES IN TOWN I KNOW WORD GETS AROUND * 556 00:38:20,934 --> 00:38:32,412 * MOVING TO THE COUNTRY GONNA HAVE THIS BABY SEE HOW IT GOES * 557 00:38:32,412 --> 00:38:39,419 * SEE HOW IT GROW AND I FIND MYSEL PARALYZED KNOWING ALL * 558 00:38:39,419 --> 00:38:50,663 * TOO WELL TERRIFIE BUT I'LL FIND MY WAY I'LL EGRESS TO INVERNESS * 559 00:38:50,663 --> 00:39:01,508 * WITH NOTHING IN MY POCKET BELINDA SAYS THAT HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH * 560 00:39:01,508 --> 00:39:13,086 * WELL SO IS HELL AND WE'LL ALL GET HELP * * PARADISE AND WE'L 561 00:39:13,086 --> 00:39:36,042 START ANOTHER LIFE * * 562 00:39:44,484 --> 00:39:47,520 >> Jimmy: COME ON, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT THERE. 563 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:50,890 THANK YOU SO MUCH. ALVVAYS. "BLUE REV. 564 00:39:50,890 --> 00:39:53,526 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE "BLUE REV" IS OUT NOW. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY 565 00:39:53,526 --> 00:40:18,084 OH, MY GOD [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 566 00:40:18,084 --> 00:40:21,988 >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO LESLIE JONES, GIANCARLO ESPOSITO 567 00:40:21,988 --> 00:40:27,260 ALVVAYS, ONCE AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE, 568 00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:29,229 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN GIVE IT UP FOR THEM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 569 00:40:29,229 --> 00:40:30,630 STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY 570 00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:33,533 BYE-BYE. * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 571 00:40:33,533 --> 00:40:33,566 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 572 00:40:33,667 --> 00:40:33,867 {\an8}