1 00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,176 >> Jimmy: JAMES, YOU MADE IT HI 2 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:13,013 >> JIMMY, THANKS FOR HAVING ME, BUDDY. I LOVE NEW YORK CITY AT THIS 3 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,516 TIME OF YEAR >> Jimmy: I KNOW, SAME I JUST WISH WE HAD TIME FOR THE 4 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:27,093 BIG MUSICAL NUMBER >> I KNOW. * SLEIGH BELLS RING 5 00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:31,564 ARE YOU LISTENING * * IN THE LANE SNOW IS GLISTENING * 6 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:37,037 * A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT WE'RE HAPPY TONIGHT * * WALKING IN 7 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,673 WINTER WONDERLAND * * JINGLE BELL JINGLE BEL 8 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:44,577 JINGLE BELL ROCK * * JINGLE BELL SWING AND JINGLE BELLS RING * 9 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:51,017 * DANCING AND PRANCIN IN JINGLE BELL SQUAR IN THE FROSTY AIR * 10 00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:57,257 * FROSTY THE SNOWMA WAS A JOLLY HAPPY SOUL * * WITH A CORN COB PIP 11 00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:05,465 AND A BUTTON NOS AND EYES MADE OUT OF COAL * >> Jimmy: DID THE IDEA OF 12 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,701 FROSTY EVER WEIRD YOU OUT? >> YOU MEAN LIKE A SNOWMAN COMING TO LIFE AND HANGING OUT 13 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:11,071 WITH CHILDREN? >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT DOES 14 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:15,608 LET'S CARRY ON * * SANTA TELL ME 15 00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:20,880 IF YOU'RE REALLY THERE * * YOU'LL MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE AGAIN * 16 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,384 * IF YOU WON'T BE HER NEXT YEAR * * MY NAME'S J.C 17 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,854 WITH A MIC IN MY HAND * * AND I'M CHILLIN AND COOLIN 18 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:31,925 JUST LIKE A SNOWMAN * * SO OPEN YOUR EYES LEND US AN EAR * 19 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,527 * WE WANT TO SA MERRY CHRISTMA AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR * 20 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:39,099 * YOU'RE HERE WHERE YOU SHOULD BE * * SNOW IS FALLING 21 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:44,471 AS THE CAROLERS SING * * IT JUST WASN'T THE SAME ALONE ON CHRISTMAS DAY * 22 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:51,244 * PRESENT WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT * * IT DON'T MEAN A THING 23 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:55,415 IF YOU AIN'T HOLDING ME TIGHT * * YOU'RE ALL THAT I NEE 24 00:01:55,415 --> 00:02:06,893 UNDERNEATH THE TRE TONIGHT * * CHRISTMAS TIM 25 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:10,597 IS HERE * >> WOW THAT FEELS -- DOES THAT NOT 26 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,133 FEEL A LIKE -- THAT FEELS A LITTLE HIGH FOR YOU. >> Jimmy: POWERFUL 27 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,101 >> POWERFUL? IT FEELS LIKE WE MIGHT - MAYBE WE WANT SOMETHING THAT'S 28 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:19,339 MORE IN YOUR -- A BETTER SONG FOR YOU. MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE - 29 00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:36,089 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 30 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:45,098 * * [ CLAPPING ] 31 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:59,245 * * * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS 32 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:03,950 DANCE, JOIN TOGETHER * * WE CAN WATCH THE SNOW FALL FOREVER AND EVER * 33 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:08,421 * EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERR COME ON ALONG WITH ME * * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS 34 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:14,728 THE ADMISSION'S FREE * >> Jimmy: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME THE RADIO CITY 35 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:27,340 ROCKETTES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 36 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:32,912 * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS DANCE, JOIN TOGETHER * * WE CAN WATCH THE SNOW 37 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:38,284 FALL FOREVER AND EVER * * EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERR COME ALONG WITH ME * 38 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:50,630 * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS THE ADMISSION'S FREE * * 39 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:54,768 * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS STEP IN TOGETHER * * WE CAN WATCH THE SNOW 40 00:03:54,768 --> 00:04:00,674 FALL FOREVER AND EVER * * EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERR COME ON ALONG WITH ME * 41 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:06,479 * STEP INTO CHRISTMAS THE ADMISSION'S FREE WHOA * 42 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:09,215 >> Jimmy: THE RADIO CITY ROCKETTES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 43 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:14,087 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JAMES CORDEN "THE TONIGHT SHOW" STARTS NOW! 44 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:20,360 * 45 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,462 >> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE 46 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:25,165 TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON." TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS 47 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:34,240 GUESTS - JAMES CORDEN JENNA ORTEGA 48 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:40,080 COMEDIAN MIKE FENNEY AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW 49 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:49,856 >> Questlove: 1768 >> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS, JIMMY FALLON 50 00:04:51,925 --> 00:05:12,078 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 51 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:20,153 >> Jimmy: OH, COME ON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 52 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,055 THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD. ENJOY YOURSELF WELCOME, EVERYBODY 53 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,090 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW. YOU'RE HERE. 54 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:27,494 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE GUYS, I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT 55 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,129 THIS JAMES CORDEN IS MY GUEST TONIGHT. 56 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:33,066 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE A 57 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:41,141 A FEW DAYS AGO, BUT HE TOOK A CARPOOL ALL THE WAY FROM L.A [ LAUGHTER ] 58 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,076 OF COURSE, SINCE TWO OF THE THREE LATE NIGHT JIMMYS ARE IN THE SAME BUILDING, JIMMY KIMMEL 59 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,310 IS BEING LOCKED AWAY IN A SECURE LOCATION. JUST SO YOU KNOW 60 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,979 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M IN A GREAT MOOD BECAUSE WE'RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF 61 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:50,884 THE HOLIDAY SEASON CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 62 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:57,323 AND HANUKKAH STARTS ON SUNDAY. THAT'S RIGHT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 63 00:05:57,323 --> 00:06:03,329 HANUKKAH IS CELEBRATED FOR EIGHT NIGHTS SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU COMPLAIN 64 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,933 ABOUT YOUR RELATIVES AT CHRISTMAS, TIMES THAT BY EIGHT [ LAUGHTER ] 65 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,569 OF COURSE, PEOPLE ARE STILL SHOPPING FOR PRESENTS. AND I HEARD THAT THIS YEAR, ONE 66 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:13,840 OF THE MOST UNWANTED GIFTS IS BEAUTY PRODUCTS. THAT MAKES SENSE 67 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,675 YOU CAN'T HAND SOMEONE A BAG OF MAKE-UP LIKE, "I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED THIS. 68 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,044 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, IN A RECENT SURVEY, FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, 69 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:23,049 NEW HAMPSHIRE RANKED AS THE STATE WITH THE MOST CHRISTMAS SPIRIT 70 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,618 [ APPLAUSE ] VERMONT WAS LIKE, "EXCUSE ME, WE HAVE THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS 71 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:32,625 PAST HELLO. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 72 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:39,132 COME ON. LET'S GET TO SOME NEWS LAST NIGHT, SEVERAL HIGH 73 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,734 PROFILE JOURNALISTS WHO HAVE BEEN COVERING ELON MUSK HAD THEIR TWITTER ACCOUNTS 74 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,070 SUSPENDED. ELON SAID THE JOURNALISTS WERE USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO KEEP 75 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:48,575 TRACK OF WHAT HE'S DOING, OR AS THAT'S ALSO KNOWN, SOCIAL MEDIA. 76 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,312 [ LAUGHTER ] I HAVE A FEELING THAT RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS, WE'RE GOING TO 77 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:58,218 SEE ELON MUSK IN LINE TRYING TO RETURN TWITTER [ LAUGHTER ] 78 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,086 IT'S A BIG WEEKEND FOR SPORTS, 'CAUSE THIS SUNDAY IS THE WORLD CUP FINAL BETWEEN ARGENTINA AND 79 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:08,595 FRANCE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ARGENTINA AND FRANCE 80 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,231 OF COURSE MY BRACKET'S ALREADY BUSTED I HAD ENGLAND AND GONZAGA IN 81 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:14,601 THE FINAL. [ LAUGHTER ] YEP, ARGENTINA VERSUS FRANCE 82 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,570 AT FIRST I WASN'T SURE WHAT WAS AT STAKE BUT THEN, SOMEONE TOLD ME IT'S 83 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:21,374 LIKE EVITA VERSUS LES MIS. THEN I WAS LIKE, "OH, I GET IT." 84 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,110 [ LAUGHTER ] THE FINAL WILL BE PLAYED ON SUNDAY AT 10:00 A.M. 85 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,746 SO, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOCCER ISN'T MORE POPULAR IN AMERICA, THERE'S YOUR ANSWER 86 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:30,116 [ LAUGHTER ] WELL, EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THIS 87 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:34,487 13 YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL, "AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER" HAS FINALLY HIT THEATERS 88 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:38,224 YEAH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THIS IS WILD 89 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:42,162 THE MOVIE HAS A RUN TIME OF 3 HOURS AND 12 MINUTES THAT'S NOT A MOVIE, THAT'S A 90 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:46,733 A FLIGHT [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] EVEN HANUKKAH IS LIKE, "WHOA, 91 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,703 HOW LONG ARE WE DOING THIS?" [ LAUGHTER ] IF THIS WAS ON NETFLIX, THE 92 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,506 "ARE YOU STILL WATCHING" THING WOULD POP UP 48 TIMES. [ LAUGHTER ] 93 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:56,176 YEAH, I'M STILL WATCHING I READ THAT THIS WEEKEND, SCREENINGS OF "AVATAR: THE WAY 94 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,978 OF WATER" ARE SELLING OUT ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, ESPECIALLY AT IMAX THEATERS 95 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,549 AT IMAX THEATERS AND I THINK I KNOW WHY CHECK OUT THIS AD I JUST SAW 96 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:05,552 LIKE THE UNDERWATER WORLD OF 97 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:08,154 PANDORA. AND IN HONOR OF "AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER," IMAX HAS 98 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:12,525 SOMETHING ELSE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. INTRODUCING FLYMAX, THE FIRST 99 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:16,596 LARGE FORMAT URINAL. DESIGNED TO HANDLE YOUR STREAM AFTER A 44 OUNCE ICEE AND 100 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:22,168 A 3 HOUR MOVIE ABOUT WATER JUST ZIP AND LET HER RIP, AS A A CASCADE OF BLUE LIQUID TAKE 101 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:27,407 YOURS URINE ON THE ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME FLYMAX BY IMAX 102 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:36,383 PUTTING THE "AH" IN "AVATAR. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: SOME BUSINESS NEWS 103 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:42,389 FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, STARBUCKS UNION MEMBERS WILL STRIKE AT 100 LOCATIONS. 104 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:46,860 ON THE OTHER HAND, THAT MEANS THE OTHER 40,000 STARBUCKS WILL STILL BE OPEN FOR BUSINESS 105 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:51,064 [ LAUGHTER ] DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS? A PANERA CUSTOMER WENT VIRAL ON 106 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,866 TIKTOK AFTER SHE DISCOVERED THAT THE CHAIN CHARGED LEMONADE DRINKS CONTAIN MORE CAFFEINE 107 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:58,071 FOUR ESPRESSOS [ AUDIENCE OHS ] PANERA WAS LIKE, "WELL, YOU'RE 108 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,608 GOING HAVE TO NEED IT AFTER EATING A MAC AND CHEESE BREAD BOWL." 109 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:05,445 [ LAUGHTER ] AFTER A FEW SIPS, SHE WAS LIKE, "DO YOU ALSO HEAR EDM MUSIC? 110 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,514 OH, NEVERMIND. THAT'S JUST MY HEART." [ LAUGHTER ] 111 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,350 GUYS, FINALLY, WE HAVE EXACTLY ONE SHOW LEFT BEFORE WE GO ON CHRISTMAS BREAK. 112 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:15,822 WHICH MEANS IT'S TIME FOR THAT BELOVED "TONIGHT SHOW" TRADITION. 113 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,590 IT'S TIME FOR "12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SWEATERS." HERE WE GO 114 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:27,434 * 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SWEATER ONE DAY LEFT * 115 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,036 >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT FOR EACH OF THE LAST 12 SHOWS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WE'VE BEEN 116 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,738 GIVING ONE LUCKY AUDIENCE MEMBER A MAGNIFICENT CHRISTMAS SWEATER FROM THE "COUNTDOWN TO 117 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:36,476 CHRISTMAS CABINET. SO SINCE THERE IS ONE SHOW LEFT, LET'S OPEN DOOR NUMBER 118 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:42,382 ONE. WHERE ARE WE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 119 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:46,753 HERE >> RIGHT HERE. >> Jimmy: GO FOR IT, PAL 120 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,723 READY? WHOA [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 121 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:57,364 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE IT COMES WITH A HAT. 122 00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:11,478 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE NOW LET'S SEE WHO'S GOING HOME WITH TONIGHT'S SWEATER 123 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:17,050 EVERYONE LOOK AT YOUR SEAT NUMBER IF I CALL YOUR NUMBER -- IF I 124 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,786 CALL YOUR NUMBER, COME ON DOWN QUEST, CAN I GET A DRUM ROLL, PLEASE 125 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:26,459 [ DRUMROLL ] 238! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 126 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,929 * YES, COME HERE COME ON DOWN 127 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:35,969 * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YES! 128 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:43,143 HELLO, HOW'RE YOU DOING? >> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU >> Jimmy: NICE TO SEE YOU, 129 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,578 STAND OVER THERE HI WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 130 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,881 >> MAKAYLA >> Jimmy: MAKAYLA, WHERE ARE YOU FROM 131 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,050 >> I'M FROM NASHVILLE. >> Jimmy: HEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 132 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,887 NASHVILLE IN THE HOUSE IT CAN GET COOL SOMETIMES AT NIGHTTIME IN NASHVILLE, RIGHT? 133 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,755 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THIS AT HOME? 134 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:58,358 >> I DON'T THINK SO. >> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THE MATCHING BEANIE? 135 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:02,629 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT >> NOPE. >> Jimmy: WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY 136 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:05,065 IT ON FOR OUR AUDIENCE >> OH, OF COURSE [ CHEERS ] 137 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,299 >> Jimmy: DO YOU NEED ME TO HOLD YOUR GLASSES OR YOU GOT IT 138 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:10,837 MAKAYLA, GOOD JOB. BE CAREFUL * 139 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:16,276 >> OH, PERFECT [ CHEERS ] * 140 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:25,585 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: I THINK SHE WANTS TO GET OUT OF IT. 141 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,487 SHE'S RUNNING AWAY BYE, MIKA -- WOW, LOOK AT MAKAYLA GOING UP 142 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:37,597 THE STAIRS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE [ LAUGHTER ] 143 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,567 SHE'S RUNNING AWAY THANK YOU -- RUNNING AWAY FROM ME 144 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,937 YEAH, IT'S LIKE, "THANK YOU, I'M SO HAPPY THANKS FOR THE SWEATER." 145 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,673 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS 146 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,875 I'M IN THE GIVING SPIRIT [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE WHY -- WHY DOES JUST ONE PERSON 147 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:52,812 GET A GIFT WHY CAN'T EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE GET A GIFT? 148 00:11:52,812 --> 00:12:00,053 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S RIGHT IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW 149 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,187 IT'S TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW STOCKING STUFFERS. HERE WE GO 150 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,158 STOCKING STUFFERS * 151 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:13,800 * IT'S THE TONIGHT SHOW STOCKING STUFFER STOCKING STUFFERS * 152 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,602 >> Jimmy: EVERY NIGHT UNTIL CHRISTMAS BREAK, WE'RE GIVING AWAY AN AWESOME GIFT TO EVERY 153 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,671 SINGLE PERSON IN OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE AND WE SAVED THE BIGGEST GIFT 154 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:23,410 FOR LAST ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR THIS? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 155 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:27,881 QUESTLOVE, CAN I GET A DRUM ROLL, PLEASE [ DRUMROLL ] 156 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:32,485 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TONIGHT'S STOCKING STUFFER IS A SONDORS SMART STEP RECYCLED 157 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:39,359 E-BIKE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: THAT'S RIGHT, JIMMY. 158 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,127 SONDORS REFURBISHED SMART STEP IS AN EASY GOING E-BIKE DELIVERING CONVENIENT DESIGN, 159 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:44,397 TECH, AND PERFORMANCE. WHILE HELPING TO MAINTAIN A GREENER FUTURE BY KEEPING 160 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:48,768 THEM OUT OF THE LANDFILL WITH ITS EASY STEP-THROUGH FRAME, THE SONDORS REPURPOSED 161 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:55,775 SMART BIKE IS AS FUN AS IT IS EFFORTLESS TO RIDE JIMMY! 162 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,279 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: EVERYONE'S GETTING AN E-BIKE 163 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:03,049 EVERYONE'S GETTING AN E-BIKE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU SONDORS! 164 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,919 ENJOY YOUR GIFT, EVERYBODY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW"! 165 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:20,367 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE 166 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,235 EVER HOSTED MY SHOW IF IT WASN'T FOR WATCHING YOU DO THIS SHOW AND ALL THE PEOPLE YOU 167 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,371 HAVE HERE. AND TO BE SAT HERE NOW, I AM THRILLED TO BE ON "THE TONIGHT 168 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:29,409 THRILLED TO BE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 169 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:42,489 MAN, I CAN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE I WANTED TO GET HIS ADVICE BECAUSE I'M HOSTING "SNL" THIS 170 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:46,926 WEEKEND WITH LIZZO PERFORMING. WHO IS THIS? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 171 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:58,538 I'VE SEEN THINGS THA NO ONE ELSE KNOW I'M ELVIS * 172 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,941 * ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS I'M ELVI ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS * 173 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:05,779 * I'M ELVIS ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS WHEN I MOVE AROUND THE 174 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:09,582 HOUSE WHEN I'M HOME ALONE * * YOU DID WHAT YOU DI YOU'VE DONE WHAT YOU'V 175 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:13,520 DONE ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS * * WON'T TELL NO ONE I'M ELVI 176 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,257 ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS * * I'M ELVIS ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS 177 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:21,194 I'M ELVIS * * ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS WELL, A HO, HO, HO 178 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:25,065 AND ANOTHER HO * * WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO TO BED DON'T YOU SCREAM AND SHOUT 179 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,935 TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS * * WHAT I'M REALLY ABOUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU 180 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:32,439 KNOW WHERE I'LL BE * * A ROCKING AROUND TH CHRISTMAS TREE 181 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:36,476 BEFORE YOU GO TO BED YOU * * MAKE ME COOKIES AND MIL I'M 90% POLY 10% SIL 182 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,947 I'M ELVIS * * ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS I'M ELVI 183 00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:45,218 ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS * * I'M ELVIS ELVIS ON THE SHELVIS 184 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:53,093 IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW * * NOW YOU KNO WELL, I'M ELVI 185 00:14:53,093 --> 00:15:03,169 WELL ON THE SHELVIS * I'M WATCHING YOU MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY 186 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:16,383 THANK YOU! * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 187 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:22,122 >> YOU'RE GOING ON THE TOP OF MY TREE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 188 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:26,159 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY. HEY, EVERYBODY 189 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,763 I WANT TO REMIND EVERYBODY, "5 MORE SLEEPS," THE ANIMATED SPECIAL, "5 MORE SLEEPS TIL 190 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:37,737 CHRISTMAS" AIRS NEXT FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23rd AT 8:30 P.M. AFTER "THE GRINCH" ON NBC. 191 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:41,675 CHECK IT OUT GET COZY WITH YOUR FAMILY. COZY UP AROUND THE TREE. 192 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,977 ENJOY "5 MORE SLEEPS." AND IF YOU WANT A LITTLE SOMETHING BEFORE THEN, I WENT 193 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,945 OUT UNDER THE ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE EARLIER TONIGHT, AND VIDEO TAPED MYSELF 194 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,448 READING THE BOOK -- VIDEOED MYSELF -- I CAN'T SAY VIDEO TAPED. 195 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:54,154 I VIDEOD MYSELF READING THE BOOK IN VIRTUAL REALITY 360. SO, IF YOU HAVE THE YOUTUBE 196 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:58,158 APP, IF YOU HAVE A VR HEADSET, IF YOU HAVE AN OCULUS, GO SEARCH FOR "JIMMY FALLON'S 197 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:04,030 '5 MORE SLEEPS.'" YOU'LL SEE IT YOU CAN LOOK AT THE TREE 198 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,467 YOU CAN LOOK AT ME IT'S PRETTY BIZARRE, IT'S FUN. IT'S NOT THE METAVERSE, BUT 199 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,203 IT'S NEW YORK CITY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE TODAY'S FRIDAY 200 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:14,140 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THAT'S USUALLY WHEN I CATCH UP WITH SOME PERSONAL STUFF 201 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,210 I CHECK MY INBOXES I CHECK EMAILS, AND, OF COURSE, SEND OUT THANK YOU NOTES 202 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:21,147 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE JAMES, CAN I GET SOME THANK YOU NOTE WRITING MUSIC, PLEASE 203 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:31,291 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, DECEMBER. 204 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:36,329 BETWEEN THE WORLD CUP AND ROCKETTES, BIG MONTH FOR KICKING. 205 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:44,537 BIG MONTH FOR KICKING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 206 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:48,808 THANK YOU, MAKING SNOW ANGELS, FOR LETTING ME FINALLY DO JUMPING JACKS THE WAY I WANT 207 00:16:48,808 --> 00:17:00,053 SLOWLY AND LYING DOWN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 208 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,888 THANK YOU, GINGERBREAD MEN, FOR ALWAYS DRESSING LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO AN INTERVIEW AT 209 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:11,865 CHIPPENDALES [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE * 210 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,566 THANK YOU, THE HOLIDAYS, FOR BEING THE ONLY TIME THE BILLBOARD HOT 100 FEATURES 211 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:24,444 DRAKE, NICKI MINAJ, AND BING CROSBY. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 212 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:28,281 * THANK YOU, "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" FOR BEING THE 213 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:33,286 HEARTWARMING STORY OF A MAN WHO YELLS AT HIS CHILDREN BEFORE WISHING HE WAS DEAD. 214 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:45,965 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Steve: OH, MY GOD * 215 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,734 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU, MYRRH FOR SOUNDING, LIKE THE THIRD WISEMAN FORGOT A PRESENT AND 216 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:52,439 JUST MUMBLED SOMETHING TO COVER. "I GOT YOU A LITTLE MYRRH. 217 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:56,676 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE "WHAT DO YOU MEANM, WHAT IS IT THIS IS MYRRH. 218 00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:03,350 IT'S MYRRH." [ LAUGHTER ] * 219 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,218 THANK YOU, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS, FOR BEING THE MOST ROUNDABOUT WAY TO TELL EVERYONE 220 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:10,357 YOU'RE A MESS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE THERE YOU HAVE IT, EVERYBODY 221 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,092 THOSE ARE MY THANK YOU NOTES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAMES CORDEN, EVERYBODY. 222 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:31,211 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 223 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:36,383 TELLING ME, "OH, YOU KNOW, JENNA, THIS IS GOING TO BE A A THING ON TIKTOK. 224 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:39,652 AND I THOUGHT, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER BECAUSE I FIGURED, YOU KNOW, 225 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:44,591 THEY'RE EXCITED. THEY'RE GETTING HYPED UP [ LAUGHTER ] 226 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:54,934 >> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS 227 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:59,406 THE EMMY WINNING HOST OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH JAMES CORDEN." 228 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,909 HE ALSO STARS IN THE NEW SERIES "MAMMALS", WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON PRIME VIDEO 229 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,010 NOW ON PRIME VIDEO EVERYONE PLEASE WELCOME JAMES CORDEN 230 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:21,394 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 231 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:26,032 * >> Jimmy: WELCOME TO THE SHOW. WELCOME. 232 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,369 YOU'RE THE GUEST >> I'M SO USED TO WAITING FOR THE OTHER PERSON 233 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,872 >> Jimmy: I'M INTERVIEWING YOU >> I'M LOVING IT I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE. 234 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,841 >> Jimmy: I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE >> CAN I SAY THAT? 235 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,609 I HAVE WANTED TO BE ON THIS TELEVISION SHOW SINCE I -- SINCE THE SECOND YOU STARTED 236 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:41,414 HOSTING IT I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE EVER HOSTED MY SHOW IF IT 237 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,882 WASN'T FOR WATCHING YOU DO THIS SHOW AND ALL THE PEOPLE YOU HAVE HERE. 238 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:49,255 AND AS WE SAT HERE NOW, I AM THRILLED TO BE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 239 00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:57,897 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE I MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 240 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:02,168 >> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU MAN >> I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE I REALLY AM. 241 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,937 >> Jimmy: WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, BEFORE YOU WERE HOSTING THE SHOW, I KNEW YOU AS AN ACTOR 242 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,072 YOU'RE A PHENOMENAL ACTOR. EVERYONE WATCH "MAMMALS" ON PRIME VIDEO. 243 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,807 WATCH JUST THE FIRST EPISODE IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU DON'T 244 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,909 HAVE TO WATCH IT YOU'LL BE SUCKED INTO IT EVEN THE LAST THREE SECONDS, 245 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,980 I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD >> THE TWISTS AND TURNS, ALL OVER THE PLACE 246 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:17,250 >> Jimmy: YOU ARE FANTASTIC, BUDDY. >> YOU ARE SO KIND 247 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,119 THANK YOU. >> Jimmy: IT'S THE FIRST TIME YOU'RE ON THE SHOW, BUT WE'VE 248 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,187 HUNG OUT MANY TIMES. >> WE HAVE >> Jimmy: WE HAVE MANY FUN 249 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,690 ADVENTURES TOGETHER. >> WELL, IT'S ALWAYS FUN IT'S NEVER NOT FUN 250 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,792 THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. IF I GO TO SOMETHING BECAUSE, OFTEN TIMES JIMMY AND I WILL BE 251 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:33,633 INVITED TO THINGS. AND YOU GET THERE. AND I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I 252 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,169 SHOULDN'T BE HERE. SOMEONE'S GOING TO TAP ME ON THE SHOULDER AND SAY, IT'S BEEN 253 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:39,339 A HUGE MISTAKE [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU SHOULD LEAVE 254 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:42,809 >> YEAH, JAMES CAMERON WE MEANT TO INVITE. NOT YOU. 255 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,311 >> Jimmy: NOT YOU. >> THEN, WHEN I SEE YOU, I SAY, "OKAY, THIS IS GOING TO BE 256 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,613 FUN. AND WE HAVE THIS -- I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO STARTED IT, 257 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,415 WHETHER I STARTED IT OR YOU STARTED IT, THIS RUNNING BIT THAT WE HAVE WHERE WE SEE EACH 258 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:54,788 OTHER AT AN EVENT. I THINK IT WAS ME WHO STARTED. I CAME OVER TO YOUR TABLE, AND 259 00:20:54,788 --> 00:20:59,359 YOU HAD -- I THINK IT WAS A TEQUILA. A GLASS OF TEQUILA, AND YOU 260 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,194 WERE JUST ABOUT TO GRAB IT TO TAKE A DRINK AND I SWOOPED IN, PICKED IT UP, LOOKED YOU DEAD 261 00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:12,872 IN THE EYE AND DRUNK THE WHOLE THING AND PUT IT BACK. >> Jimmy: YEAH 262 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:17,544 EXACTLY, YEAH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> AND THIS THEN SET IN MOTION 263 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:18,912 A CONSTANT RUNNING JOKE WHERE -- >> Jimmy: ANY TIME WE SAW EACH 264 00:21:18,912 --> 00:21:20,747 OTHER, I GO LIKE, [ CLEARS THROAT ] CAN I HAVE A SIP OF -- 265 00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,949 CAN I HAVE A SIP >> OH, SURE. YOU GOT A BAD VOICE? 266 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,085 HERE YEAH, HERE YOU GO. OH, SURE 267 00:21:25,085 --> 00:21:27,854 >> Jimmy: THANK YOU. AND I SHOVE THE WHOLE DRINK UNTIL IT'S EMPTY, THEN GIVE IT 268 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,156 BACK TO YOU. >> THE ENTIRE THING. AND IT ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH 269 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:33,093 >> Jimmy: DO YOU REMEMBER YOU WERE SITTING NEXT TO LADY GAGA ONCE 270 00:21:33,093 --> 00:21:35,095 >> DO I REMEMBER OF COURSE I REMEMBER [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 271 00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:39,432 I SAT NEXT TO LADY GAGA, RIGHT I'M HERE SHE'S THERE. 272 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,101 AND SHE'S LOVELY SHE'S AMAZING. AND WE'RE TALKING. 273 00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:42,936 AND SHE WAS SAYING TO ME THAT SHE'S VERY NERVOUS ABOUT HER PERFORMANCE. 274 00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:47,874 SHE WAS GOING TO PERFORM THAT NIGHT. AND SHE SAID SHE WAS VERY, VERY 275 00:21:47,874 --> 00:21:51,378 NERVOUS. AND I'M LIKE, YOU'RE LADY GAGA YOU DON'T GET NERVOUS. 276 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,146 SHE SAID, "I'M MORE COMFORTABLE IN A BIG STADIUM THAN I AM IN FRONT OF A SMALL ROOM LIKE 277 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:58,351 THIS." I SAID, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE GREAT. 278 00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:02,188 SHE SAID, "WILL YOU PRAY WITH ME?" >> Jimmy: YES. 279 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:08,094 >> AND I WENT, "SURE, YEAH LET'S. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 280 00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:14,334 AND SHE HELD MY HAND LIKE THIS, AND SHE CLOSED HER EYES. AND WE'RE LITERALLY LIKE THIS. 281 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,270 SHE CLOSED HER EYES, AND SHE STARTED SAYING, "PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO PERFORM. 282 00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,072 AND I OPENED MY EYES SLIGHTLY, AND IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE, I CAN SEE JIMMY WALKING TOWARDS 283 00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:26,546 MY DRINK TO DO THE BIT [ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M GOING LIKE THIS, I'M 284 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:35,755 GOING LIKE THIS -- I'M GOING [ LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING -- 285 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:43,730 "YES, GIVE US THE STRENGTH." [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE GOES -- HE GOES TO ME - 286 00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,899 HE GOES LATER, YOU CAME BACK >> Jimmy: I DID A GOOD JOB I WENT 287 00:22:45,899 --> 00:22:47,500 >> HE LOOKED AND WAS LIKE "WHAT WAS GOING ON?" I SAID, "WE WE WERE JUST 288 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,270 PRAYING. THAT'S ALL." [ LAUGHTER ] 289 00:22:50,270 --> 00:22:52,806 >> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? >> SIMPLE PRAYERS. 290 00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:54,541 >> Jimmy: AND THEN I DRANK YOUR DRINK. >> A SIMPLE PRAYER AND THEN WE 291 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,376 DRANK OUR DRINKS >> Jimmy: YOU ANNOUNCED YOU'RE LEAVING "THE LATE LATE SHOW" 292 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:59,012 THIS COMING SPRING VERY SAD WE LOVE YOU. 293 00:22:59,012 --> 00:23:07,787 DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED FOR THE END? >> WELL, I'VE ACTUALLY JUST 294 00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:09,155 BEEN ASKED TO TAKE OVER "THE TONIGHT SHOW," WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD. 295 00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:10,724 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: HEY, THAT'S A MISTAKE! 296 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:13,126 NO WAIT, I CAN'T -- PLEASE NO >> WELL, MY BIGGEST PLAN -- MY 297 00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:14,928 INTENTION, WHICH I THINK I'LL FAIL AT DRAMATICALLY IS TO JUST NOT BE CRYING FOR THE ENTIRE 298 00:23:14,928 --> 00:23:16,463 HOUR, WHICH I THINK I WILL BE. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> SO I'M REALLY GOING TO TRY 299 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:19,265 TO KEEP IT TOGETHER. OUR INTENTION IS TO, YOU KNOW, GO OUT IN THE WAY THAT WE CAME 300 00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:30,176 IN AND I WILL MISS IT HUGELY. I WILL MISS IT EVERY DAY 301 00:23:30,176 --> 00:23:36,082 I WILL MISS THE PEOPLE THAT I WORK WITH. AND THERE'S NO SENSE OF ME 302 00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:41,755 LEAVING BECAUSE I DON'T LOVE IT I'M JUST LEAVING THE SHOW 303 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:43,623 PRIMARILY BECAUSE WE'RE A LONG WAY FROM HOME, AND WE REALLY WANT OUR CHILDREN TO KNOW WHAT 304 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:48,661 IT'S LIKE TO GROW UP IN LONDON, TO HAVE A SOLID RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS. 305 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:56,302 AND THAT IS TIME THAT YOU DON'T GET BACK REALLY. SO, HOWEVER HARD IT IS TO GO, 306 00:23:56,302 --> 00:24:00,573 I'M COMPLETELY CERTAIN IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO IT AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE LOVED EVERY 307 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:05,145 SECOND OF DOING IT I LOVE IT. I LOVE THE SHOW. 308 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:10,617 I REALLY DO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: LET'S TALK ABOUT 309 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,586 "MAMMALS." >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: CAN I GIVE A LITTLE 310 00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:15,955 SPOILER. >> YEAH, IT'S ALWAYS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO SPOIL THE SHOW IF YOU'RE 311 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:20,060 GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT SO YOU CAN. >> Jimmy: IT'S A DARK COMEDY 312 00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:22,529 >> YES >> Jimmy: BUT SOME VERY DRAMATIC SCENES, VERY FUNNY 313 00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:26,132 SCENES I THINK THAT ONLY YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF 314 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:28,568 YOU DO SUCH A GREAT JOB OF THIS IT STARTS OFF WITH YOU GUYS 315 00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:32,706 TRAVELING. YOU'RE GOING TO A BEAUTIFUL PLACE IN ENGLAND 316 00:24:32,706 --> 00:24:35,775 >> IN CORNWALL, YEAH >> Jimmy: CORNWALL >> THE COAST, YEAH 317 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,410 >> Jimmy: BEAUTIFUL AND YOU'RE WIFE IS PREGNANT AND SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 318 00:24:37,410 --> 00:24:40,246 AND YOU GUYS ARE JUST THE PERFECT COUPLE AND THE SUNSET AND IT'S ALL GREAT 319 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:44,517 >> YES >> Jimmy: AND THEN SHE LOSES THE BABY 320 00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:47,087 >> SO THEY LOSE THE BABY AND IT'S REALLY SAD. IT'S AWFUL 321 00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:51,191 AND HE'S GOT HER PHONE BECAUSE THERE'S BAD SERVICE WHERE THEY ARE IN CORNWALL. 322 00:24:51,191 --> 00:24:55,128 AND HE LOOKS DOWN AT HIS PHONE AND HE REALIZES IN THAT MOMENT THAT SHE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR. 323 00:24:55,128 --> 00:24:57,630 AND IN THAT MOMENT, HE ALSO BUMPS INTO THE SINGER, TOM JONES. 324 00:24:57,630 --> 00:25:03,103 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH SO, HE'S TRYING NOT TO FREAK 325 00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:05,939 OUT THAT TOM JONES IS THERE, BUT THEN YOUR LIFE IS FALLING APART HERE 326 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:09,042 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: AND IT GETS TRICKIER AFTER THAT 327 00:25:09,042 --> 00:25:12,512 IT JUST GETS TRICKIER, UPON TRICKIER, UPON TRICKIER. IT'S SO GREAT. 328 00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:18,718 IT'S SO WORTH IT I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. HERE IS JAMES CORDEN AND 329 00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:20,787 TOM JONES IN "MAMMALS. TAKE A LOOK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 330 00:25:22,422 --> 00:25:26,259 I'M TOM FROM NEXT DOOR PLEASED TO MEET YOU. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M 331 00:25:26,259 --> 00:25:30,964 COMING BACK. I MEAN, THIS IS LIKE A A LANDSCAPE YOU ALREADY KNOW 332 00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:38,938 IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT'S ETCHED IN YOUR SOUL. DO YOU EVER GET THAT 333 00:25:38,938 --> 00:25:47,814 [ VOMITING ] ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? [ VOMITING ] 334 00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:53,920 JESUS CHRIST WHAT WAS IT? AN OYSTER OR SOMETHING 335 00:25:53,920 --> 00:26:01,695 >> TOM JONES >> YEAH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 336 00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:06,266 >> Jimmy: TOM JONES. I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ON. 337 00:26:06,266 --> 00:26:09,436 BUT I LOVE DOING LATE NIGHT WITH YOU IN THE SAME SCHOOL AND US DOING THE SHOW TOGETHER 338 00:26:09,436 --> 00:26:15,775 I'M GOING TO MISS THAT AND SEEING YOUR BITS AND YOU WOULD DO THINGS THAT 339 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:18,745 WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO BE BETTER AT MY JOB. SO, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR 340 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:25,418 EVERYTHING YOU DO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> YOU'RE WELCOME. 341 00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,921 I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I REALLY DO. 342 00:26:27,921 --> 00:26:29,889 GOD BLESS. >> Jimmy: JAMES CORDEN, EVERYONE 343 00:26:29,889 --> 00:26:31,758 "MAMMALS" IS STREAMING NOW ON PRIME VIDEO. JENNA ORTEGA JOINS US AFTER THE 344 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:34,694 BREAK. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 345 00:26:34,694 --> 00:27:02,422 * >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE STAR OF THE GIANT NEW SHOW, 346 00:27:02,422 --> 00:27:06,359 "WEDNESDAY," WHICH HAS BECOME ONE OF THE MOST WATCHED SHOWS IN NETFLIX HISTORY 347 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,629 SEASON ONE IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW. PLEASE WELCOME JENNA ORTEGA. 348 00:27:10,930 --> 00:27:26,680 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * * 349 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:33,920 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JENNA ORTEGA WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 350 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,455 >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JIMMY FALLON >> Jimmy: THANKS FOR BEING 351 00:27:35,455 --> 00:27:37,357 HERE I APPRECIATE THIS. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE -- BEFORE WE 352 00:27:37,357 --> 00:27:39,092 GO INTO "WEDNESDAY," WHICH I CAN'T WAIT TO RAVE ABOUT -- RIGHT NOW YOU'RE IN A TRAILER 353 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:44,330 FOR THE NEW "SCREAM" MOVIE >> YES, I AM >> Jimmy: AND IT BROKE 354 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,833 RECORDS -- IT STARTED -- IT WENT VIRAL, I THINK. IT CAME OUT AND IT DID 355 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:49,769 3 MILLION VIEWS IN THE FIRST DAY. THIS IS YOUR SECOND "SCREAM" 356 00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:53,807 MOVIE. DO YOU LIKE DOING THESE MOVIES >> I LOVE HORROR FILMS 357 00:27:53,807 --> 00:27:55,675 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, HAVING BLOOD THROWN ON YOUR FACE AND RUNNING AROUND 358 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:59,145 SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] BUT IT REALLY IS SO 359 00:27:59,145 --> 00:28:02,248 THERAPEUTIC. SO MUCH FUN. EVERYONE WHO WORKS ON HORROR 360 00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:04,751 SETS LOVES HORROR. AND YOU KNOW PEOPLE DO SPECIAL EFFECTS. 361 00:28:04,751 --> 00:28:06,152 >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. >> BECAUSE THEY GREW UP LOVING GORE 362 00:28:06,152 --> 00:28:10,190 THE BEST PART ABOUT THE "SCREAM" FILMS IS, IT REALLY IS SUCH A GREAT COMMUNITY 363 00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:14,260 THAT CAST AND CREW, THEY'RE MY FAMILY AND WE CAN NEVER TAKE ANYTHING 364 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,297 SERIOUSLY. SO, GHOSTFACE COULD LITERALLY BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR 365 00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:22,102 MONOLOGUE AND WE'RE HAVING TO RESTART TAKES BECAUSE WE'RE LAUGHING SO HARD 366 00:28:22,102 --> 00:28:25,171 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: REALLY >> YEAH. 367 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:26,806 IT'S A MESS. >> Jimmy: ON ONE OF THE SCARIEST MOVIES EVER, YOU'RE 368 00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:29,209 LAUGHING >> YEAH, WE COULD BE -- IN THE FIFTH ONE I WAS LIKE ARMY 369 00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:31,177 CRAWLING IN THE HOSPITAL, AND I JUST, LIKE, WOULD -- I WOULDN'T LIFT MY FACE BECAUSE I WAS 370 00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:37,350 LAUGHING IN MY HANDS [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: I'VE WATCHED 371 00:28:37,350 --> 00:28:39,152 "WEDNESDAY," AND I TOLD YOU THIS BACKSTAGE I GO, "OH, MY GOSH, YOU'RE 372 00:28:39,152 --> 00:28:41,454 CRUSHING THIS. YOU'RE PHENOMENAL. IT IS THE SECOND MOST WATCHED 373 00:28:41,454 --> 00:28:47,060 SERIES IN NETFLIX HISTORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND ONE OF ONLY THREE SHOWS TO 374 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:50,430 BE STREAMED OVER A BILLION TIMES. OVER A BILLION 375 00:28:50,430 --> 00:28:53,600 IS THAT -- CAN YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT? >> NO. 376 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,336 I TRY NOT TO ACTUALLY. >> Jimmy: YEAH >> IT'S TOO WEIRD. 377 00:28:56,336 --> 00:28:58,405 >> Jimmy: BUT, I MEAN, YOU NAIL EVERY JOKE, EVERY DELIVERY YOU'RE SO FUNNY. 378 00:28:58,405 --> 00:29:00,874 THAT'S -- THIS IS BEFORE YOU EVEN DID THE DANCE SCENE I MEAN, THE DAN -- CAN WE TALK 379 00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:09,215 ABOUT THE DANCE? THE WEDNESDAY DANCE? >> IF YOU WANT TO. 380 00:29:09,215 --> 00:29:11,518 >> Jimmy: YEAH, I MEAN, GOING INTO IT, WHAT HAPPENED DID TIM BURTON GO, "OKAY, I GOT 381 00:29:11,518 --> 00:29:14,087 AN IDEA. YOU DO THIS, YOU DO THAT." >> WELL, I READ 382 00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:18,625 EPISODE 104 PRETTY EARLY ON. AND WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SONG WE WERE GOING TO BE USING, WE 383 00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:21,161 DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE SITUATION WAS. INITIALLY THEY WANTED A FLASH 384 00:29:21,161 --> 00:29:23,663 MOB. BUT I THOUGHT, NO, THERE'S NO WAY WEDNESDAY WOULD BE COOL 385 00:29:23,663 --> 00:29:26,866 WITH DANCING AND ENCOURAGING A A BUNCH OF PEOPLE. SO TIM AND I -- THE DIRECTOR, 386 00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:32,305 TIM BURTON, AND I TALKED ABOUT IT A LITTLE BIT AND HE SAID, "YEAH, LET'S NOT DO A CIRCLE 387 00:29:32,305 --> 00:29:35,141 LET'S HAVE IT BE HER OWN THING. AND I REMEMBER ABOUT A WEEK 388 00:29:35,141 --> 00:29:36,876 BEFORE WE STARTED -- A WEEK BEFORE WE SHOT THE DANCE, HE CHOSE THE SONG, "GOO GOO MUCK" 389 00:29:36,876 --> 00:29:44,551 BY THE CRAMPS. AND THE CRAMPS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BANDS EVER. 390 00:29:44,551 --> 00:29:47,821 SO I WAS SUPER EXCITED, SUPER PUMPED, IT WAS ON MY EPISODE FOUR PLAYLIST. 391 00:29:47,821 --> 00:29:50,557 AND HE CAME TO MY TRAILER ABOUT TWO DAYS BEFORE WE SHOT IT AND SAID, "HEY JENNA, SO I KNOW YOU 392 00:29:50,557 --> 00:29:52,158 SAID THAT YOU WANTED TO CHOREOGRAPH THIS YOURSELF - BECAUSE I REFUSED TO SEE A 393 00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:59,065 A CHOREOGRAPHER. HE WAS LIKE, "I KNOW YOU'VE GOT IT 394 00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:02,669 YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT. I'M NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT IT. I TRUST YOU. 395 00:30:02,669 --> 00:30:05,205 AND I SAID, "OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL SO GOOD." AND I HAD NOT GONE OVER IT AT 396 00:30:05,205 --> 00:30:10,443 ALL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU HAD NO PLAN? 397 00:30:10,443 --> 00:30:12,512 >> NO. I WAS DOING CELLO THAT WEEK, FENCING THAT WEEK. 398 00:30:12,512 --> 00:30:14,381 I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME. >> Jimmy: YOU DO A LOT IN THE SHOW 399 00:30:14,381 --> 00:30:16,016 >> THERE'S A LOT GOING ON. >> Jimmy: YES. YOU WORK HARD IN THE SHOW. 400 00:30:16,016 --> 00:30:18,084 ON TOP OF THAT, YOU'RE LIKE GOING TO CHOREOGRAPH YOUR OWN DANCE? 401 00:30:18,084 --> 00:30:21,588 >> YEAH. OH, MY GOD, I WAS KICKING MYSELF 402 00:30:21,588 --> 00:30:24,858 I FELT LIKE SUCH A FOOL. I WAS LIKE, I'M NOT A DANCER I DON'T DO ANY OF THAT 403 00:30:24,858 --> 00:30:27,560 I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE IN THAT FIELD. AND THEN, YEAH, I DIDN'T SLEEP 404 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:32,198 FOR TWO DAYS I WATCHED VIDEOS OF SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES 405 00:30:32,198 --> 00:30:34,701 >> Jimmy: REALLY >> DENIS LAVANT IN "BEAU TRAVAIL. 406 00:30:34,701 --> 00:30:38,872 I FOUND ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF GOTH KIDS DANCING IN CLUBS IN THE '80s 407 00:30:38,872 --> 00:30:42,375 [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH >> LENE LOVICH, NINA HAGEN, 408 00:30:42,375 --> 00:30:45,512 JUST ANYTHING THAT I COULD GET MY HANDS ON. AND THEN ON THE DAY, I THOUGHT, 409 00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:49,349 "ALL RIGHT, WELL." >> Jimmy: I'M JUST GOING TO DO IT 410 00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:51,551 >> LET'S JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS >> Jimmy: DID YOU JUST GO SUPER LONG 411 00:30:51,551 --> 00:30:54,421 DID YOU DO IT LIKE A 20-MINUTE DANCE? OR IS THIS THE STEP BY STEP, 412 00:30:54,421 --> 00:30:56,890 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU PLANNED? >> NO, I -- I KNEW THERE WERE 413 00:30:56,890 --> 00:30:59,426 CERTAIN THINGS THAT I WANTED TO DO I PAID HOMAGE TO LISA LORING, 414 00:30:59,426 --> 00:31:04,597 THE FIRST WEDNESDAY ADDAMS I DID A LITTLE BIT OF HER SHUFFLE THAT SHE DOES, AND OF 415 00:31:04,597 --> 00:31:09,369 COURSE THEY CUT OUT OF CAMERA WHEN I DID DO IT, BUT IT'S THERE, I KNOW IT IS. 416 00:31:09,369 --> 00:31:11,538 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: BECAUSE YOU DID IT, YEAH 417 00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:13,640 >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: YEAH, OF COURSE. THAT'S WILD. 418 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,475 DID YOU UNDERSTAND IT WOULD GO THIS VIRAL IT'S EVERYTHING ON TIKTOK RIGHT 419 00:31:15,475 --> 00:31:18,545 NOW. RIGHT NOW, IF YOU GO ON TIKTOK, IT'S YOU DANCING 420 00:31:18,545 --> 00:31:23,149 IT IS. >> NO, I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T 421 00:31:23,149 --> 00:31:24,918 AND NETFLIX, THEY WERE TELLING ME, "OH, YOU KNOW, JENNA, THIS IS GOING TO BE A THING ON 422 00:31:24,918 --> 00:31:28,588 TIKTOK." AND I THOUGHT, "YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER." 423 00:31:28,588 --> 00:31:31,324 BECAUSE I FIGURED, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE EXCITED. THEY'RE GETTING HYPED UP 424 00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:34,394 AND THEN THEY WERE RIGHT [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YEAH, SOMETIMES 425 00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:37,130 PEOPLE ARE RIGHT >> YEAH, THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. 426 00:31:37,130 --> 00:31:40,533 >> Jimmy: YOU'RE MESMERIZING YOU'RE DAZZLING TO LOOK AT I JUST GO, OH MY GOD 427 00:31:40,533 --> 00:31:44,571 YOU'RE DOING THAT AND YOU'RE JUST DOING THE WEDNESDAY STARE AND YOU'RE KIND OF DOING THAT. 428 00:31:44,571 --> 00:31:46,873 BUT THEN THAT AND IT'S KIND OF -- YOU MAKE IT COOL AND IT'S ONE OF THE KIND OF 429 00:31:46,873 --> 00:31:49,909 GEEKIEST SONGS, "GOO GOO MUCK. YOU KNOW, THE CRAMPS AND I GO, "HOW DID YOU DO 430 00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:53,313 THIS?" AND IT'S JUST -- I DON'T KNOW. I THINK WE ALL AGREE IT'S JUST 431 00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:56,816 WELL DONE. YOU JUST CRUSHED IT. >> THANK YOU 432 00:31:56,816 --> 00:32:01,955 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE >> Jimmy: JENNA ORTEGA I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP. 433 00:32:01,955 --> 00:32:04,424 HERE'S JENNA ORTEGA IN "WEDNESDAY." TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 434 00:32:08,795 --> 00:32:17,070 [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC * >> IT'S YOUR DECISION, BIANCA. 435 00:32:17,070 --> 00:32:30,250 >> LET'S SEE IF YOU BLEED IN BLACK AND WHITE. * 436 00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:55,709 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 437 00:32:55,709 --> 00:32:57,911 >> Jimmy: JENNA ORTEGA "WEDNESDAY" IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX 438 00:32:57,911 --> 00:32:59,346 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAND-UP FROM MIKE FEENEY, EVERYBODY. 439 00:32:59,346 --> 00:33:21,735 COME ON BACK [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * 440 00:33:21,735 --> 00:33:23,703 >> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST HAS HIS COMEDY SPECIAL, "RAGE AGAINST THE ROUTINE," AVAILABLE 441 00:33:23,703 --> 00:33:29,376 ON YOUTUBE MAKING HIS LATE NIGHT DEBUT HERE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW," 442 00:33:29,376 --> 00:33:32,746 HERE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW," PLEASE WELCOME THE VERY FUNNY MIKE FEENEY! 443 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,615 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 444 00:33:35,615 --> 00:33:43,089 * * [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 445 00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:45,792 >> OH, MY GOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY WOW. 446 00:33:45,792 --> 00:33:48,728 I APPRECIATE THAT. I -- EXCITING NEWS I JUST CELEBRATED SEVEN YEARS 447 00:33:48,728 --> 00:33:53,767 OF MARRIAGE WITH MY WIFE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE YEAH, YEAH 448 00:33:53,767 --> 00:33:59,439 WE'VE BEEN MARRIED SEVEN YEARS WE'VE BEEN DATING A TOTAL OF 17 YEARS THOUGH. 449 00:33:59,439 --> 00:34:01,841 YEAH, I KNOW I HAD TO MAKE SURE AND -- 450 00:34:01,841 --> 00:34:03,910 [ LAUGHTER ] IF I'M BEING HONEST, SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE RIGHT 451 00:34:03,910 --> 00:34:05,679 NOW. BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN A A RELATIONSHIP THAT LONG, A LOT 452 00:34:05,679 --> 00:34:11,785 OF TIMES, AFTER SHOWS, FOR MEN, THEY'LL COME UP TO ME AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "17 YEARS 453 00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:15,288 I MEAN, MY GOD, IT MUST HAVE GOTTEN SO STALE IN THE BEDROOM BY NOW, RIGHT? 454 00:34:15,288 --> 00:34:18,892 AND EVERY TIME I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THEM LIKE, "NO, IT HASN'T GOTTEN STALE. 455 00:34:18,892 --> 00:34:23,163 IT'S GOTTEN EFFICIENT. THAT'S HOW I WOULD -- [ LAUGHTER ] 456 00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:25,298 YEAH LIKE, OUR SEX LIFE IS LIKE GOING TO A BILLY JOEL CONCERT 457 00:34:25,298 --> 00:34:27,767 AT THIS POINT. YOU KNOW [ LAUGHTER ] 458 00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:29,836 WE'RE JUST PLAYING THE HITS, NO NEW STUFF, EVERYBODY'S HAPPY [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 459 00:34:29,836 --> 00:34:32,772 YEAH, YEAH YEAH YOU'RE NEVER READY TO GO TO 460 00:34:32,772 --> 00:34:41,414 A BILLY JOEL CONCERT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE LIKE, "THIS IS OFF MY NEW, LIKE -- 461 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:43,616 PIANO MAN, GET TO IT RIGHT NOW HURRY. [ LAUGHTER ] 462 00:34:43,616 --> 00:34:46,152 YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE, YOU KNOW MY WIFE AND I, WE GOT A DOG 463 00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:47,854 RECENTLY, WHICH WAS SUCH A A GREAT DECISION BECAUSE WE ALWAYS HAVE CATS AND I WOULD 464 00:34:47,854 --> 00:34:49,556 DEFEND CATS. ANY TIME SOMEONE TALKED BAD ABOUT CATS, I'M LIKE, "THAT'S 465 00:34:49,556 --> 00:35:00,233 BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAVE ONE." ONCE YOU GET ONE, YOU REALIZE THEY GOT THEIR OWN PERSONALITY 466 00:35:00,233 --> 00:35:03,503 THEY'RE CUTE THEY'RE CUDDLY THEY'RE THE BEST, YOU KNOW 467 00:35:03,503 --> 00:35:05,372 AND THEN WE GOT THIS DOG AND I LOOKED AT THE CATS AND I'M LIKE, "I HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU. 468 00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:08,108 THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. LIKE, I JUST -- [ LAUGHTER ] 469 00:35:08,108 --> 00:35:12,779 BECAUSE THE DOGGY IS ADORABLE. HE'S, LIKE, A 40 POUND LAB, BEAGLE MIX 470 00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:19,052 HE'S GOT THE BIG DUMB EARS ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE'S SMILING I LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY 471 00:35:19,052 --> 00:35:20,553 BUT NOBODY TOLD ME THE SOCIAL CONTRACT THAT COMES WITH HAVING A DOG. 472 00:35:20,553 --> 00:35:22,055 VERY DIFFERENT FROM HAVING CATS I USED TO WALK AROUND 473 00:35:22,055 --> 00:35:24,157 NEW YORK CITY. PEOPLE DON'T REALLY TALK TO YOU. 474 00:35:24,157 --> 00:35:26,659 AND THEN YOU GET A DOG, EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 475 00:35:26,659 --> 00:35:33,066 BUT NOT ABOUT YOU, ABOUT THE DOG. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 476 00:35:33,066 --> 00:35:34,868 SO, YOU HAVE TO LEARN EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THEM BECAUSE DOG LOVERS ARE CRAZY PEOPLE. 477 00:35:34,868 --> 00:35:37,337 DID YOU KNOW THAT? [ LAUGHTER ] DOG LOVERS WILL JUST RUN UP TO 478 00:35:37,337 --> 00:35:39,239 YOU WITH QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS RIGHT NOW. THEY'RE SO AGGRESSIVE. 479 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,542 AND FOR MY DOG, IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME THREE THEY ALWAYS GO, "OH, MY GOD. 480 00:35:42,542 --> 00:35:45,478 WHAT'S HIS NAME? WHAT KIND OF DOG IS IT IS THAT AS BIG AS IT'S GOING TO 481 00:35:45,478 --> 00:35:53,687 GET? OH." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 482 00:35:53,687 --> 00:35:55,622 THAT IS BIG AS HE'S GONNA -- I'M GOING TO KEEP FEEDING HIM IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING 483 00:35:55,622 --> 00:35:58,892 WHAT [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, HE'LL PROBABLY GET 484 00:35:58,892 --> 00:36:00,427 HORIZONTALLY BIGGER FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE AND THEN, GOD FORBID, YOU SEE 485 00:36:00,427 --> 00:36:03,296 ANOTHER DOG OWNER WITH THEIR DOG. NOW IT'S A MANDATORY 486 00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:06,466 CONVERSATION THE SECOND WE SEE EACH OTHER DOWN THE BLOCK, WE HAVE TO 487 00:36:06,466 --> 00:36:12,272 START COMMUNICATING AND BE LIKE -- [ LAUGHTER ] 488 00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:14,774 "YEAH, HE'S -- CAN THEY SAY HI OKAY YEAH, YEAH, YEAH." 489 00:36:14,774 --> 00:36:19,479 [ LAUGHTER ] "DON'T LET THE LEASHES GET TANGLED. 490 00:36:19,479 --> 00:36:23,750 OKAY." [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] AND EVERY DOG OWNER WILL TELL 491 00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:26,586 YOU THAT THEIR DOG IS FRIENDLY, AND ALMOST NONE OF THEM ARE FRIENDLY 492 00:36:26,586 --> 00:36:34,060 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO LOOK AT THE DOG. 493 00:36:34,060 --> 00:36:35,528 THE OWNER IS LIKE, "NO, HE'S GOOD." LIKE, THEY'RE GETTING 494 00:36:35,528 --> 00:36:37,630 YANKED -- [ LAUGHTER ] DOWN THE BLOCK WHILE THE DOG 495 00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:39,466 CHARGES ME LIKE -- [ DOG CHARGING IMITATION ] JUST FULL SPEED. 496 00:36:39,466 --> 00:36:43,269 AND THEN THEY START SHOUTING VERY SPECIFIC COMMANDS AT YOU. THEY'RE LIKE, "LET HIM GET YOUR 497 00:36:43,269 --> 00:36:45,372 SCENT, BUT DON'T LOOK AT HIM IN THE EYE. [ LAUGHTER ] 498 00:36:45,372 --> 00:36:47,307 IT'S LIKE, "WHY? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?" 499 00:36:47,307 --> 00:36:50,410 YOU KNOW "WHAT'S YOUR DOG'S NAME? MEDUSA 500 00:36:50,410 --> 00:36:53,480 MY GOD!" YEAH I TRAVEL A LOT FOR COMEDY. 501 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,383 I HAVE TO FLY OFTEN. I GET VERY NERVOUS FLYING BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THAT 502 00:36:56,383 --> 00:37:02,555 POSSIBILITY. [ LAUGHTER ] SO, I DRINK ON EVERY FLIGHT 503 00:37:02,555 --> 00:37:10,630 THAT I'M ON. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S 6:00 A.M., IF IT'S 504 00:37:10,630 --> 00:37:15,101 10:00 P.M., IT'S SKY TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN [ LAUGHTER ] 505 00:37:15,101 --> 00:37:18,838 THE SECOND THAT DOOR LOCKS, I'M LIKE, "I'LL DO A KEG STAND DO WE HAVE ONE?" 506 00:37:18,838 --> 00:37:20,807 [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS FLYING ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 507 00:37:20,807 --> 00:37:23,543 IT WAS AN EARLY FLIGHT AND THE WOMAN CAME UP TO ME. I WAS LIKE, "HI, CAN I PLEASE 508 00:37:23,543 --> 00:37:28,114 HAVE A -- A VODKA SODA?" AND THE FIRST THING SHE DID WAS SHE LOOKED AT HER WATCH. 509 00:37:28,114 --> 00:37:30,950 [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, YOU CAN CHECK THAT JUDGMENT AT THE 510 00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:33,687 DOOR OKAY." [ LAUGHTER ] 511 00:37:33,687 --> 00:37:35,455 "PUT THAT BAGGAGE IN THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT." YOU KNOW 512 00:37:35,455 --> 00:37:37,424 YEAH [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE YEAH 513 00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:45,598 NO WAY LIKE, YOU HIGH ALTITUDE HUSSEY I WILL NOT BE JUDGED -- 514 00:37:45,598 --> 00:37:48,902 [ LAUGHTER ] -- BY SOMEBODY WHO WEARS A A PAPER HAT, YOU KNOW? 515 00:37:48,902 --> 00:37:51,504 LIKE -- I DIDN'T SAY THAT. I'M A COWARD 516 00:37:51,504 --> 00:37:54,240 I TRIED TO MAKE IT EASY FOR HER. SO, I WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M GOING 517 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:58,411 TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE DRINK. COULD I PLEASE OPEN A TAB? WHICH I THOUGHT WAS A VERY 518 00:37:58,411 --> 00:38:03,416 NORMAL SENTENCE TO SAY AND THIS WAS HER REACTION. SHE GOES, "SIR, THIS IS AN 519 00:38:03,416 --> 00:38:07,921 AIRPLANE, NOT A BAR. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NOT EXAGGERATING HER 520 00:38:07,921 --> 00:38:11,191 SHOULDER SHE DID -- SHE LITERALLY WENT, "NOT A BAR," LIKE THAT 521 00:38:11,191 --> 00:38:16,329 SHE SHIMMIED HER SHOULDERS AT ME IT MADE ME FURIOUS 522 00:38:16,329 --> 00:38:18,832 I WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M SORRY I MUST HAVE GOT CONFUSED WHEN YOU PUSHED A MOBILE BAR UP TO 523 00:38:18,832 --> 00:38:23,436 MY SEAT. [ LAUGHTER ] FRISBEED A NAPKIN AT ME. 524 00:38:23,436 --> 00:38:26,706 [ LAUGHTER ] AND SAID, "WHAT WILL IT BE?" YOU KNOW 525 00:38:26,706 --> 00:38:29,242 [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S LIKE, "YOU'RE A A BARTENDER. 526 00:38:29,242 --> 00:38:32,612 YOU KNOW "YOU'RE A BARTENDER IN THE SKY YOU'RE A SKY TENDER. 527 00:38:32,612 --> 00:38:34,814 CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT -- SO, I GOT VERY PETTY 528 00:38:34,814 --> 00:38:38,952 I WAS GOING TO HAVE TWO DRINKS ON THE FLIGHT. INSTEAD, I HAD SIX 529 00:38:38,952 --> 00:38:41,588 [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, YEAH AND SHE DID NOT LET ME OPEN THE 530 00:38:41,588 --> 00:38:45,725 TAB. SO, I HAD TO RUN MY CARD SIX TIMES. 531 00:38:45,725 --> 00:38:48,795 AND ON THE SIXTH TIME, SHE CAME BY WITH THAT LITTLE CREDIT CARD MACHINE. 532 00:38:48,795 --> 00:38:51,097 AND SHE WAS LIKE, "UM, SIR I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THERE IS, LIKE, A GRATUITY 533 00:38:51,097 --> 00:38:56,102 OPTION ON HERE SO, YOU KNOW, IN CASE YOU WANT TO LEAVE A TIP." 534 00:38:56,102 --> 00:38:58,838 [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN HANDED IT TO ME, WHICH MADE ME SO ANGRY 535 00:38:58,838 --> 00:39:03,777 I HAD TO RETURN MY SEAT TO THE UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITION. [ LAUGHTER ] 536 00:39:03,777 --> 00:39:05,311 AND JUST LOOKED HER RIGHT IN THE FACE, I WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M SORRY. 537 00:39:05,311 --> 00:39:08,682 THIS IS AN AIRPLANE, NOT A A BAR. SO -- 538 00:39:08,682 --> 00:39:11,851 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M MIKE FEENEY. 539 00:39:11,851 --> 00:39:15,488 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: THAT IS HOW YOU DO 540 00:39:15,488 --> 00:39:17,223 IT, BUDDY. FANTASTIC, BUDDY THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT 541 00:39:17,223 --> 00:39:21,361 THERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MIKE FEENEY. 542 00:39:21,361 --> 00:39:26,499 "RAGE AGAINST THE ROUTINE" IS AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY 543 00:39:26,499 --> 00:39:48,221 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE * >> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO 544 00:39:48,221 --> 00:39:53,259 JAMES CORDEN, JENNA ORTEGA, MIKE FEENEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 545 00:39:53,259 --> 00:39:55,328 WELL DONE, BUDDY >> THANK YOU >> Jimmy: PLEASE COME BACK 546 00:39:55,328 --> 00:39:57,630 MIKE FEENEY, THAT WAS FANTASTIC. AUSTIN BUTLER, I WANT TO SAY 547 00:39:57,630 --> 00:40:00,066 THANK YOU TO YOU GOOD LUCK ON "SNL. AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM 548 00:40:00,066 --> 00:40:03,737 PHILADELPHIA A SPECIAL THANKS TO THE ROCKETTES. 549 00:40:03,737 --> 00:40:06,573 THEIR CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR IS RUNNING THROUGH JANUARY 2nd AT RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL! 550 00:40:06,573 --> 00:40:10,076 THANKS FOR WATCHING. STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS. 551 00:40:10,076 --> 00:40:10,076 SETH MEYERS. GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE